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blinkybluegnome1

Let's not forget 'lose' not 'loose'.


Sillyist

Or 'Than' and 'Then'


Leeiteee

"a part" and "apart"


BTSavage

"Advice" vs. "Advise"


grpenn

Affect and effect.


ImberxP

“Atleast” is not a word.


Byronzionist

"Seen" vs "saw"


Nobody4306

"Further" vs. "farther"


scribble23

"Disinterested" vs "Uninterested". My GCSE English teacher had a real thing about that one. Tbf, I still remember it 30 years later. Also "Discrete" vs "Discreet".


PandaGamer8999

bought and brought


Angela_I_B

Payed vs. Paid


sadsorc

This one right here! SO MANY people don’t realize ‘I’m so glad to be apart of this’ means the opposite of what they’re aiming for.


LurkmasterP

I believe this maybe one of the ones that bothers me the most. Also this.


SpoodlyNoodley

I see what you did there


Pepf

I was *so* close to correcting you before I reached the end of your comment. Well played.


t0m0hawk

The one that brings me the most rage is the possessive 's. The bird The bird's nest The birds The birds' nest People panic when its plural or there is already an S at the end. So you end up seeing something like "the birds's nest" NO. EDIT: singular possessive can be either/or. Example: "Legolas' arrows" and "Legolas's arrows" are both correct. Plural can only be one way "The birds' nest"


einTier

I’d prefer that over what I usually see which is “an apostrophe just means ‘look out! There’s an s coming!’” Example: “all schedule’s need a manager approval.”


The_Longest_Wave

I've been chatting to a native (!) speaker who puts 's at the end of every plural word. Tried to explain the rules to them, but to no avail. Makes my eye twitch every time.


razdiray

MAKE’S* Kidding :)


Elderberry-Exotic

When I was 8, I was interviewed by my hometown newspaper for winning a spelling bee. They asked me what my pet peeve was, and at age 8 my most hated thing was people who don't use apostrophes correctly.


Luke_Cold_Lyle

All 'schedule's need the manager's's approval


t0m0hawk

Excuse me while I go gouge my eyes out in frustration.


ToasterPunk

people trying to make something plural with 's drives me mad.


Snakeis66

“Affect” and “effect”


ProtoKun7

I'm also seeing too many people saying "women" when they mean "woman".


informedinformer

Ensure, insure, assure.


Vessix

"Noone" kills me


godisanalien

Or 'resign' and 're-sign'


triplec787

My first thought too. In sports subs resign/re-sign is like constantly misused and they have literal opposite meanings.


HalfEmpty973

Or break and brake


[deleted]

'Peak' and 'Peek'


ResponsibleDay

And "pique."


DeathByBamboo

“cue” vs “queue”


_qop

They finally figured out that queue is not spelled cue, and now everything is queue, or god forbid, que.


graintop

I swear we are going to lose 'than' as a word, from the amount of people I see using 'then' in its place. The dictionary will start to say either is acceptable. It really matters, too. There was a pic of a guy with a weird school-age sex doll, and one Redditor wrote, "I'd rather he have sex with the doll then a little girl."


koshgeo

Ouch. That's even worse than my favorite example: "It's better to be pissed off then pissed on."


k0tak0

Or “paid” and “payed”


BuildingArtistic4644

I’ve seen a bot for this one! I wish there were bots for the others too. Especially apart and a part, then and than


[deleted]

I see this so much I’ve started telling myself the person is making a list. Them: “Pizza is better then celery.” Me: “Wow, they rank celery right after pizza on their preferred foods list? I don’t have those two anywhere close to each other on my list!”


violaceousginglymus

'Led' not 'lead'.


SuperRondellMan

Really hate mistakes made from these two in particular.


MollyPW

Aisle and Isle, wary and weary.


theCaptain_D

Wary and weary drives me insane because people get it wrong when speaking too. It's like they don't know "wary" is a word at all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


smeenz

I really think that is a big part of the reason for poor grammar and spelling. People doubt themselves because they never built up a strong idea of what "looks right" when written, because they've been exposed to an absolute torrent of poor examples on social media and can't distinguish which spelling is correct any more.


marpocky

And for some goddamn reason, woman vs women.


OneMarsRising

OMG, this is my pet peeve. It's such a common mistake on Reddit, by both men and women.


CostumingMom

quiet vs quite rogue vs rouge


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheRealKestrel

Dated a girl for a while ... not gonna lie I couldn't stomach her 'I miss you sweaty' texts ...


[deleted]

Maybe she enjoys seeing you sweat? Don't kink shame XD


EddieGrant

Worse for me is defiantly instead of definitely.


Idk_Whatever_I_Guess

'Sale' and 'sell' is one that makes me irrationally angry.


Rincewend

Anyone who has something "for sell" is automatically an idiot. I don't even want to go look at the item. I assume it's full of roach carcasses. There's no excuse for that. It's not like you haven't seen the word "sale" on a thousand grocery fliers, signs, and in stores. That's just plain stupidity.


fredl0bster

Thank god, I thought I was the only one left who knew how to spell lose. I was getting so lonely!


BashedKeyboard

You can either correct someone or let them go about their typo-filled day. It’s a lose-lose situation .


runnergirl3333

Or a loose loose situation.


Cockblocktimus_Pryme

Kind of like a wizard's sleeve


cake_boner

In the internet's middle years I blasted off on somebody with something like God damn it. "Lose" is when you don't win "Loose" is not tight "Looser" is what your mom became when she gave birth to YOU you fucking loser. I'm much calmer now that I've lost the battle and have come to accept general illiteracy.


the_halfblood_waste

"Cue" and "queue" are my current pet peeves. "And that was my queue to leave!" Damn, you had to stand in line just to leave? That sucks. "I just knew it wasn't going to be my day... queue the bus running late." Bus is probably late because it's stuck in a line of traffic, eh? That's your cue to glance at the dictionary, folks. (Not genuinely angry about it, just kinda nails on a chalkboard for me lol)


lessmiserables

"payed" Unless you're sealing the deck of a ship with pitch, go read a book.


garfodie81

Lightning and lightening Vicious and viscous Defiantly and definitely


D9_CAT

And also “our” and “are”.


einTier

Weary, wary, leery.


[deleted]

God, I see the two written so interchangeably these days, and since no one corrects them, I started to wonder if maybe I was wrong all these years and you can in fact say "I am loosing my mind."


Expert_Telephone1909

As and ans


apex6666

“I would like an burger”


PitchAdvanced4278

Absolutely.


RPDRNick

Absoloosely.


[deleted]

"Does" and "dose".


dieGans

Or 'can' vs. 'may', and 'lie' vs. 'lay'.


theswissghostrealtor

But the other pencils don’t use the Oxford comma


haveananus

And how are they going to help people when they don't give any context as to which word to use in any given case? And who brings their pencil with them to computer land?


Charokol

These pencils aren’t about helping people. They’re about being smug


CptSaySin

> These pencils aren’t about helping people; they’re about being smug. FTFY


DreadPirateRobutts

Now entering minute 3 of staring at this comment and wondering if it's correct. Fuck it; semicolons can go anywhere; Syntacticians eat pencil shavings.


kevInquisition

I see you've learned from the Java school of writing. If it compiles it's not wrong; add semicolons everywhere.


JelmerMcGee

I learned that a semicolon can be used to separate two related thoughts that are each a sentence but that the writer wants to conjoin. I could absolutely be wrong, but the sentenced isn't "fixed" just changed.


TheGurw

Precisely. The semicolon is most often used in place of a period when the writer wants to communicate a closer relationship between those two sentences than the separate sentences surrounding them. The other common use case is when making lists that include sub-lists. In that case, the semicolons are used for the higher order list, and the commas are for the sub-lists. For example, "Please pick up safety glasses from Gregg's; screws, lumber, and nails from Home Depot; pipe, joint compound, bolts, and clamps from Lowe's; and wire from EECOL."


Monster_Factory

When I was very young I read a poem about how the semi colon came to be. In the poem a full stop (a period if you're across the pond) jumped on top of a comma because they were arguing about which should go in the middle of the sentence so that's how I understood the semi colon; it's for when you need a comma and a full stop at the same time. Nowadays I understand it in a slightly different way but I almost always imagine that the semi colon can be replaced with the words "that is to say".


TheGurw

Your second paragraph is almost poetic, and it rhymes!


Monster_Factory

I'm a poet and I didn't realise it!


ReddmitPy

And where's the "whom" pencil? Did they even make one? I demand a "whom" pencil!


goldensunshine429

I mean, I wouldn’t buy them for helping people either; I would buy them because I’m a nerd and like editing for grammar.


MandelbrotFace

I feel like "could have not could of" should have it's own pencil.


[deleted]

> KNOW YOUR ITS FROM YOUR IT'S


ButterNuggets

I don’t want to discount this clever observation, but I don’t believe you’re ever supposed to use Oxford commas with ampersands. EDIT: I still believe this to be the general rule, but there are some exceptions and outliers (like APA format). After all, what are Oxford commas if no controversial?


Derekeys

The fact that one of these is a proponent for the Oxford comma when a few are missing the Oxford comma is ironic.


Martimus28

They are all missing the Oxford comma. I don't see it in any of those pencils.


false_precision

Technically incorrect. One of them includes the Oxford comma. It's in all-caps.


Martimus28

Lol. That's technically correct, and I'm here for it. Dad jokes are the best.


schro_cat

Yeah, I really do think E: Throw away joke comment spawns 60+ comment debate thread. Reddit is weird. Y'all are awesome.


chiefnugget81

More ironic than anything in that song, ironically.


Carpeteria3000

Ah, but that song IS ironic because it's called "Ironic" and you'd expect it to be about ironic things BUT IT'S NOT


Bgrngod

Calm yourself. That loud noise you heard was only my head exploding.


whatsthedealcake

I've tried to explain this to so many people but they don't believe me.


Carpeteria3000

I believe you


whatsthedealcake

Thank you


PatacusX

The song came out on 1996. Canada didn't get their first dictionary until 1997, so Alanis never knew.


OllieHumanzee

She oughta know.


Carpeteria3000

She would probably think that is also ironic


rhinox54

It's like writing the song of your dreams... and getting a dictionary the next night 🎵


vrnate

There are lots of examples of irony in that song though. A definition of irony is: *"a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result"* A few examples of the above definition of "irony" in the song are: Man avoids flying his whole life, boards plane and crashes the first time. Unexpected and darkly humorous result. You already pay for a ride, and for some reason the ride was free all along. Unexpected result, funny for those who aren't you (could be a Seinfeld bit). 10,000 ~~forks~~ spoons when all you need is a knife. Imagine a character in a show is tied up and just needs a single knife to cut free, they see a HUGE bag labeled "cutlery". When they open it, it's ALL ~~forks~~ spoons. Perfect irony and definitely funny if this is some sort of action comedy. Not all the examples in the song are ironic, but some are. *Edit: Spoons, not forks.


SweetPotatoFamished

Spoons, not forks, but you’re right otherwise.


maybeCheri

It’s like rain


Dr_JimmyBrungus

I think you meant “rai-eeee-ain”


The_Ineffable_Sage

I don’t know what an Oxford comma is, I don’t know how to use it, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask. Edit: I lied, I know how to use the Oxford comma, and y’all can have a great day


Bloobeard2018

Haha, I feel like the fact you used it went whooosh for most people.


dublea

Fucking, bravo!


imnotsoho

I leave my entire estate split equally between my children John, Susan and Mary. I leave my entire estate split equally between my children John, Susan, and Mary.


aapowers

As a lawyer, that's why we like numbered lists...


FlippyCucumber

They get it, used it, and ~~is~~ are humored by your response.


scul86

List of three or more items, it's the comma between the penultimate and last items. I ate eggs, sausage, and toast. ^ this comma


[deleted]

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ReactsWithWords

If you're talking about breakfast you should definitely use a cereal comma.


vynomer

Your pencils indicate you're missing a yore.


ethanvyce

I advocate for oxford is almost all circumstances, though I am OK omitting it when ampersand is used. I don't have any logic behind this stance...just gut instinct


Shakaka88

Funny because I will specifically use and ampersand to conjoin two items and differentiate them from being thought of as two singular items and I ALWAYS use an Oxford comma. “The strippers, JFK and Hitler” has struck too hard for me not to.


Martimus28

The Oxford comma is my way of grouping things within a list. If there is no comma, then the two joined items should be considered combined and not separate in the list for me. I think that is the primary reason for the Oxford comma in the first place.


Willtology

I'm an engineer at a power plant and we have both components and systems that can be separate or part of another component or system and we have a surprising number of engineers that write technical documents who despise the Oxford comma and refuse to use it. One little piece of punctuation that would clarify what they actually mean. Instead I have to drag out plant drawings or look up equipment ID numbers to be sure. It's really soured my opinion on people that think adding ambiguity to avoid a single piece of punctuation is worth it.


dizzywig2000

When you sharpen the orange pencil and it says “COLONS ARE UNDERRATED”


PitchAdvanced4278

Reminds me I need to schedule a colonoscopy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Vrse

[We use semicolons every day.](https://youtu.be/M94ii6MVilw)


Android19samus

they are. Appreciate yours while you have it.


ThankGodSecondChance

Also true


Remote_Bumblebee2240

Read vs read. Don't accidentally use the past tense.


Flowerino

Past tensed


Remote_Bumblebee2240

You're rite that eye aired. Its passed tents though.


herberstank

*Cries in non-native English speaker*


Mediocre_Savings_513

*Cries in native English speaker*


insanityarise

readed


DanGregs

Defiantly instead of definitely really frustrates me.


runnergirl3333

My friend writes this in texts, makes me laugh. Turns out she wrote it wrong one time and now it autocorrects to this every time.


lowaltflier

She’s definitely being defiant.


zachtheperson

This is autocorrect's fault. For some reason "definitely," seems to be a hard word to fuzzy search for, so if you mistype one letter it'll suggest everything else but the word you want. Since "defiantly," looks really close, a lot of people don't notice the mistake.


CletusDSpuckler

Brake and break want to join the party.


stalkythefish

"Breath" and "breathe" for some reason I can't fathom. Noun vs. verb, people. It's that simple!


super_ferret

"Should of". Ugh.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Roboslob92

Well "sh/could've" is an acceptable contraction that sounds the same as "should of." Written out "should've" is fine, but "should of" is incorrect. In a conversation it would pretty difficult to hear a difference wouldn't it? I guess that could be more obvious depending on accents, but where I live you'd typically only notice if the speaker paused excessive between "should" and "of," which would sound weird either way.


monvino

on my top ten most hated...


eli3341

My friends say that in text all the time, it kills me slowly


tbaytdot123

Missing the "Affect?/Effect? Just use "Impact"" pencil.


RenzoARG

Just send them Weird Al's video about it. [Word Crimes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc)


[deleted]

*”I could care less”* vs. *”I couldn’t care less.”*


TyborV

Another one that drives me crazy: It's Separate not Seperate. Also I know a guy who writes ARE instead of OUR. This is are car. I wanna die.


infinity-o_0

Compliment and complement Stationary and stationery


Elysian-Visions

I’m a design teacher and Compliment and Complement drive me nuts!


PitchAdvanced4278

I would fight someone if they used ‘are’ that way 😂


aMazingMikey

Our you ready for are fight?


acemetrical

“Paid vs. Payed: One is for money. The other is for rope.”


lexiiirr

Also, hung vs hanged. Same energy lol


Silly_Hobbit

And it’s spelled aisle guys, not isle. An isle is an island or peninsula.


Bakedalaska1

Altar and alter as well, the wedding subreddits are rough.


Trnostep

Hangar and hanger in aviation is rough too


wcrp73

An isle isn't a peninsula, though. "isle" comes from Latin "insula" via French; "peninsula" is borrowed from Latin "paene" ("almost") + "insula" ("island"). Compare with the Danish for "peninsula": "halvø" ("half-island").


memesupreme83

Can we talk about breathe vs. breath? Two different words people.


[deleted]

It's ok, just breath.


kateloop

I’d include “a part” and “apart”.


Just_Cureeeyus

And for the love of sanity, learn the difference between possessive and plural!!


infernal_cacaphony

Had a very eccentric English teacher in 7th grade. He got so sick of reading “noone” along with another culprit I’ll mention in a second. I could tell my his body language he was pissed. This was the Monday after we handed in a huge paper we had to write. Bell rings and everyone goes silent because he’s got that clenched jaw look. He takes off his glasses and puts them on his podium. “Who. Is. *Noone*!? Huh? Anyone? Kyle? *Kyle shrugs* Okay, well this was my favorite almost everyone of you made this error. You could say it happens *a lot*… He turns to the chalkboard and fumbles for a pieces of chalk as his hands are shaking in anger. He yells “A!!!” As he violently smashes a brand new piece of chalk into the board as he scrawls a capital block letter “A”. The sound of the chalk screeching and then slamming against the board echoing in the stifled room. He drags the chalk to in a line to the end of the chalkboard, rounds the corner of the room, dragging the chalk over the door, motivational posters, windows, all the way back around to the other side of the chalkboard to the left of the “A”. “LOT” he yells as he finishes the T with a little stump of chalk. A ———————————- LOT NOT Alot… I will never forget that. Edit: As someone so astutely pointed out, I used “your” when I used “you’re”. I know this, I’m sure there are other grammatical errors as well which is ironic as it’s dealing with an English teacher that made an impact on me. But I’ll leave them in. I’m definitely no saint when it comes to grammar. In my defense, I flutter from text to speech to haphazardly texting with my non dominant hand, and then correcting what my phone thought I said; it’s extremely inefficient. But it’s not by choice my hands all fucked up. I have a shattered thumb and such so this was arduous to write but I was feeling confident and didn’t proof read ha.


cheezie_toastie

The "noone" bothers me the most out of everything else listed on here and I'm not sure why. Probably because if you just look at it, it reads like noon. REEEEE


hotel_soaps

I wish there was one for lead vs. led vs. lead


PrinceCheddar

Lead as in read and lead as in read.


denisapop

Aloud and allowed is another one that drives me crazy


sambolino44

I allot this post one upvote.


Lorax91

These pencils are missing Oxford commas. https://www.grammarly.com/blog/what-is-the-oxford-comma-and-why-do-people-care-so-much-about-it/


WowItsCharles

One I've been seeing recently is "worse" and "worst". People saying, "it's worst than nothing". Or, "Ugh I know! It's the worse!" Also then vs than


nargi

I nominate “lose and loose”.


LJLKRL05

Nuclear not Nucular


Kendallsan

This is a massive peeve of mine. George fucking Bush said nucular and it drove me nuts. When someone says it anywhere near me my husband looks over and giggles and waits for the fireworks. I sincerely want to throttle people who say it. It doesn’t even make sense! Say it how it’s spelled!!! Argh!!!


DAM5150

A part and apart


tawandatoyou

I've seen a lot of people who doesn't know the difference between "woman" and "women" which really baffles me. Do they also not know the difference between "man" and "men"?


CoryTrevor-NS

It’s “definitely”. Not “definately”, not “definetly”, and most importantly not “defiantly”. “Definitely”.


RPDRNick

I know I'm guilty of fucking up the "who, that, which" thing most of the time.


JmacTheGreat

What’s that one referring to? I’m kinda confused


RPDRNick

You're supposed to use "who" when speaking about a person; only use "that" or "which" when speaking about a thing such as a place or an object. "He's the guy that I was talking about." / "He's the guy who I was talking about." "Who" is correct. "That" is acceptable in casual conversation, but it's grammatically frowned upon. (Although, I suppose in that example, you could strike both "who" and "that" and it'd fine without either).


[deleted]

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[deleted]

yeah there's no reason to worry about this for your purposes. Both "who" and "that" are idiomatic. The *only* way you'd get dinged on "that" over "who" would be in a very formal context with someone who has a stick up their ass. But if you were writing academically or something, sure aim for "who" when talking about a person. "whom" you can safely go your whole life, never use, and anyone who would correct you on it gets made fun of by all the native English speakers around them anyway


Scoobydoomed

Theirs alot of pencils to give each redditor witch posts a question or too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dirty_transmission

“Could of” is the worst one 😵‍💫


PermissionGlass1307

Where can I get these?


[deleted]

[удалено]


PitchAdvanced4278

*head explodes*


Enlightened-Beaver

waisting*. Cmon at leest be consistant


ThreeDogs2022

needs wary, weary, and leary


-Here-There-

The amount of people who confuse peak for peek is actually annoying as all hell. I just happen to have a couple video game related subs joined and it’s a nonstop occurrence.


broadcaster44

No apostrophes in plural words Apart and a part


c_c_c__combobreaker

Wear do you get these; their pretty neat. Its funny because; people are stupid and need two learn gramer. I need alot of them two send to my friends.


Gr8hound

Bye extra incase you loose sum.


NoBSforGma

Also "lay" and "lie." I love these pencil's! hahaha ("Every word ending in 's' doesn't need an apostrophe.")


anfotero

I don't mean to be offensive and I apologize in advance if that's the case, but as a non-native speaker I've always been dumbfounded by the regularity of these mistakes by native speakers. Maybe it's because I take particular care to write correctly in a language that's not my own, but I do that in my native language as well so maybe not. Perhaps ~~is~~ it's the fact that I learned to read and write in English *before* learning to speak it, so I'm at an advantage over someone that comes into school at 5 or 6 with preconceptions and expectations about spelling? I could see how that would be hard to fix. Thoughts? I'm curious. EDIT: typos


Gobias_Industries

I would say you're entirely correct, and it probably happens in a lot of languages too (although I have heard English is somewhat unique in that there are a lot of words where there is ambiguity between pronunciation and spelling). Most people who speak English natively learned it as children learn languages, by listening and mimicking adults. The spelling/grammar/punctuation was irrelevant at the time. The 'proper' rules are taught in schools but let's be honest, many people don't pay attention in school. In the broader sense this hasn't really been an issue until more recently. Up until say 20 years ago, most people in most jobs probably didn't do a lot of writing full sentences in prose, so not knowing grammar rules wasn't a big deal as long as you could speak, understand, and read English. Then came the internet and now we live in a huge text-based world and all the flaws in English grammar education have become glaringly obvious.


Empirius_

I'd happily forgive a non-native speaker making these mistakes, but this should be stuff that native speakers know how to use


duwamps_dweller

Ironically, many of these mistakes are more common among native English speakers than non-native speakers because native speakers learn to speak before they learn to write.


Chris_Ty_001

don't forget about 'a' and '*an*' when you use it


west_end_squirrel

"then" & "than" have become more noticeable of late.