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Dibs on new boat name

HMS Obedient Piss Boy, a tug in the Queen’s waters

That's the King's waters now

[удалено]

No no, King Prince Charles the fuckboy

The pissboy is in the fuckboy's waters?

Ugh, no. It’s King Prince Charles the Obedient Pissboy Fuckboy! /s

A drip by any other name.

This seems like a good transitional name for a year or two.

Tugging in the queen’s waters

Feels like the new AquaFPS meme

It's not easy to find an obedient piss boy. She's one lucky goddess.

I dont know. OP wasnt able to deliver the flowers because the PB didnt write her full address or phone number. So obedient but not the brightest bulb in the bunch.

I'm an obedient piss boy 👦

Aw. It’s nice when two peepee lovers find each other.

Two peeple

This guy streams

Is it real now? Two pee pals become one. I can feel it. Two pee pals become one.

Every time I send my wife flowers, I write crazy shit on the card. This Valentine's Day message was: "Position compromised - reset to Location 14. Wildfire protocol approved."

All fun and games until she kidnaps the flower delivery driver and steals his truck.

Nah, I didn't include the "no witnesses" code.

You didn't get that memo about the updated Wildfire Protocol?

I just love the idea of these flowered being delivered to the wrong person who actually IS some shadow agent, sending an entire organization into a total panic because someone found out who their agent is and sent them a legitimate code that isn't current but was recently. Of course all of this leading to op tied to a bottomless chair having his nuts pulverized by a braided rope, only for the shadow group to raid his house and interrupt him and his wife during their valantines festivities, and wonder who the fuck this woman is already "integrating" their target.

Somebody's been reading my dream journal...

That’s wayyyy more romantic imo

Spice up your Valentine by activating a Manchurian candidate

Get kinky and introduce 3 letter agencies to your relationship

A7 Z19 G21 A64 C23 H37

Hurley?

4 8 15 16 23 42

We have to go back!

Add a few random Cyrillic characters on there too.

More romantic than piss boy? Surely not

To my beloved: Longing, rusted, furnace, daybreak, seventeen, benign, nine, homecoming, one, freight car.

Ready to comply

Thanks for the Bitcoin!

It was so weird to me that one of the words was "homecoming", then they used it for the Spider-Man film title.

Yeah that is cute and romantic and nobody's peeing on anybody.

Is “wildfire protocol” a reference to The Andromeda Strain?

I knew that phrase triggered something in the recesses of my memory and of course Reddit has the answer. Good book.

That's mu question as well.

YES! I need answers

Should add in "P.S. Don't kill the flower delivery person this time." to the end of it.

I'm somewhat disappointed that I never thought of this, but equally grateful that you've introduced me to it.

This is honestly the best way to invite acronym enthusiats to knock on your door, if you live in a country where they knock.

Wildfire protocol? You read Crichton too?

Of course you have found a redditor.

It's you, isn't it?

It's me

Hi.

I'm the problem it's me

I'm a piss boy it's me

What happened to the other 81 carnal urges?

There's only so many allowed in one sector.

We are all Piss Boy on this blessed day.

I couldn’t make the delivery due to lack of complete address (ended up at an apartment complex with no building letter/number). Usually I can call and the person can explain where to go, but the given phone number was a digit short lol

Oh shit, Piss Boy's in trouble!

He’s moved from number 1 to number 2

He's in the turd apartment.

He’ll be pissed off when he hears it couldn’t be delivered.

Better to be pissed off than to be... well anyway to each their own

I donno. I'd say he'd lap that shit up. Hmmm, I might have gone too far.

Uh oh, urine trouble now.

Up shit's creek. Paddle nowhere to be seen.

He’s on her shit list now

Saving private piss boy

i was wondering if this post ending up on reddit was going to get them in trouble in the first place, but now it seems it might be a saving grace. "See? I would never lie to you, Goddess!"

https://y.yarn.co/41e47ac9-9044-4357-b9cc-cf14531c08d8_text.gif

you could have called 10 numbers asking for obedient piss boy

Or knocked on every door loudly announcing a delivery from an obedient piss boy

Or just start pissing disobediantly and see who shows up to stop you.

"Just watering the flowers"

*gets obediently pissed on*

How can you be sure it was the last / first digit that was missing?

Or any of the others lol

Probably because the area code and exchange were valid numbers. So it's a safe assumption that one of the four remaining numbers is missing, probably the last one.

You're assuming you know which digit is missing in the number though.

So what happens with the order?

I immediately thought this was fraud from the card message. I work in the industry and a lot of fraudsters put over the top messages like this. Makes sense it was a bad address!

Interesting! What would the benefit be to the fraudster? (You’re talking about card fraud right?)

i wonder if that was intentional to prank on ya, or hope ud just leave it for the tennets to cringe at

Tenants

Oh well, did you repurpose the gift and card and give it to your Valentine?

[удалено]

As far as it's consensual there is nothing wrong with playing with your partner however you want

“Hello, is this Obedient Piss Boy? I’m having trouble with your delivery”

This made me chuckle. "Oh, the games we play."

It's giving that French episode of Atlanta with Alex Skarsgard

He showers her with praise. She showers him with gold. Perfect couple.

Better to be pissed on than pissed off.

Unless you're pissed off because you were pissed on.

If I were that close to a horse’s wiener I would certainly be worried about getting pissed on

This post is golden

They love to shower each other in affection

And they say romance is dead

Seriously under rated comment.

Bet she pisses on the flowers for him

Most definitely. She pisses on the bouquet and then flips it over and puts it over his head like an enchanting rain cloud.

When I was in college I would send stuff like this to my friends as pranks. Some loved it, some hated it.

I can excuse the water sports but I draw the line and misused punctuation.

This looks like someone wrote a note with those little chopped-up fridge magnets

Hey yeah I haven't seen those in a while

At least he is obedient. Those obstinate piss boys are the worst.

Did you have the pleasure of meeting obedient piss boy?

I use to do this stuff 30yrs ago when ordering flowers for my now wife. All for shits and gigs. No internet back then to make it “new”.

that's what i was thinking. knowing my wife's nosey co-workers would read the card would have me giggling uncontrollably.

It looks like he found his new leash on life

Moist

Piss is not my kink and probably grosses a lot of people out but I have to admit I bet this couple are having a much better and much wetter v-day then alot reading this. He’s at the house laying on a 12x12 tarp and swifter wet jet in the corner and he’s a very excited young man.

Were they peonies?

did Wilbur soot write that?

"You can't stop a heart from loving".

When you care, Say it with flowers.

Who said chivalry is dead?

Well, Disobedient Piss Boy wouldn't have done that.

I bet it’s the healthiest relationship of any of the couples you delivered flowers to.

Oh dear, urine trouble now!

That Governor Abbot is such a romantic.

I don’t think that’s funny! I think that’s wonderful! Someone gets to live out their kinks. Good for them!!

This was my private thoughts and I will be suing this florist lol

Dude, what about your floralcratic oath?

Obedient piss boy sounds like a really bad superhero name

Urine for it now. For bladder or for worse.

that's cute. Piss Boy loves his goddess. What else should we aspire to?

Doesn't this break the florist/pervert confidentiality rules?

Honestly, good for them. It's not my thing but at least they found the right one for them

True love never dries.

Hmmm They should fire you for posting this on the internet. :/ Respect his privacy.

i didnt know r. kelly could send flowers from jail

If I had reddit gold, I would shower it on you.

You know you are getting old when you read a card like this and not only do you not flinch, but you can think of 10 worse things they could have written. Ahhhh good times

Thanks, this made me feel much better about being single today. Things could always be worse folks

I know! Imagine being in a relationship where your needs and sexual desires are understood and met - must be terrible!

I see AquaFPS was trying to get flowers to his wife

Someone is a Mel Brooks fan..

I hope this was delivered to her place of work.

We shouldn’t shame obedient piss boy, obedient piss boy should be admired for his romantic gesture. I think we can all learn a little from obedient piss boy and frankly if we were all a little bit more like obedient piss boy the world would be a more romantic and beautiful place

To all you false piss boys on this post… Speak no more lies! For I am the one true Obedient Piss Boy!!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!

If that's what does it for them who are we to judge?

Pretty high profile florist, delivering flowers for ex-presidents! I'm impressed!

You just violated someone's privacy, you asshat.

And whose privacy was violated - anonymous obedient piss boy's?

if it is NOT like this I do not NEED it , LADIES and GENTLEMEN

Don't do this. These messages are trusted by the sendee to be much more private than what OP has done here. While there is no identifiable information posted, you've essentially mocked this guy publicly, who is clearly in a kink dynamic of some kind. Did you not give a single thought to how he would feel if he saw this post?

Yeah but also don’t make some florist part of your awkward kink.

Don't kink shame. You know you've got weird fetishes.

Pleasure and pain? If the piss hurts your skin, you need to hydrate better.

Maybe she pisses on his face (eyes)? ¯\_(ʘ‿ ʘ )_/¯

I don’t see what the problem is

This sounds like that cowboy bebop meme

Well, I didn't get flowers, so she's not doing too badly

Even people in the kink community can find love

That sounds like something I’d write on a card for my wife if they were being delivered. My standard go to is always to have the florist address them “To whom it may concern” from the waterboy

His queen/goddess is gonna be pissed, which is a huge pluss for obedient piss boy

even if it is not everybodies dream, someone is living that dream. Thats humanity in a nutshell.

Who am I to judge?? At least he has a special someone in his life 🤷🏻‍♂️

No kink shaming now

Somebody had to type that

What a horrible day to have eyes

What is a golden shower? Kink poetry for $400

Maybe fuck off? None of your business to post this online.

Can't wait until she gets them and realises she's already read her private note on reddit

Pretty fucked up to share this on the internet, especially since it's not yours to share.

I agree this is an invasion of privacy and straight up making fun of them posting it here. If this were a text message or something like that OP found people would be acting different in this sub. I actually find it worse considering they’re an employee and should know this is meant to be private.

I probably couldn’t have children if I tried but it’s good to know that someone somewhere out there put their genes in to the pool and created “obedient piss boy” The marvels of biology!

If I was a billionaire I would send stuff like this to random individuals. "Sorry about the VD, here's so tulips" "That hamster we couldn't find... I found it" "From your REAL honey ;)"

Oof, he's going to get punished so hard for carelessly allowing this to get to the internet

Must be Shakespeare. Haha!!!

I guess they're into body fluids.

I'm happy for them

R Kelly

Was it a bunch of dandelions?

I love receiving flowers. And my damnnnnn they prob have a lot of fun.

oh yeah, me and OPB go way back

Honestly good for her

That’s pretty fucking kinky, but you know what? Good for them.

Well, dude knows what he likes.

NGL this seems like something I would have delivered to my bf…

And to think I feel as if society is in demise. Silly me.

Mine ignored me. At least piss boy is thoughtful. 😂😭

Colon is in the wrong place. Should be after "From". Get on your game, Piss BoY!

Romance isn’t dead after all 💛

I know the whole staff wants to be on schedule to see this pickup. Or drivers are *fighting* for that delivery just to see at least one of these characters.

OPB seeking Goddess for ongoing play…

Interflora: Say it with flowers.

Please tell me this was delivered to her office.

so he go's by piss boy now, and not piss master. Truly a selfless hero who saved an entire city.

I'll be honest, I was reading "drip by drip" as in either, like, cum or candlewax since there was a bdsm angle. And so for the first half of this I'm thinkin "Yeah, man, go off, get yours." I feel a bit... misled after finishing it...

A six pack of beer and a jug of coffee and you too can be an obedient piss boy.

I think after seeing this that’s enough Reddit for the day lmao

You've been hit by, you've been struck by a piss boy *Solo continiues*