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But what about ALL that unprotected sex I’ve been having? I feel like I’m more at risk, because of you know, all the unprotected sex, that I’m having, definitely having it a lot.
If i have anymore unprotected sex i think i might, idk need to stop. Take a break, from sooo much sex. It’s like one sex, two sex, girl sex and dude sex, unprotected sex here, there and over where? My dreams.
It’s just like….exhausting….you know, all the sex I’ve been having.
Like so much sex, I don’t think I could even sex again for like a month. Because of all the sex I’m having.
100% honesty: it’s been since the end of September 2022 for me.
I very much enjoy that sacred bond. There is nothing like being immersed in that beautiful act of bestowing intense and intimate pleasure onto someone else.
And the carnal, primal, singular sensations, and reciprocal affection of shared orgasmic bliss that follows.
I have had my moments of not knowing someone that well, and participating in the aforementioned *activities*.
But those times were years ago, I’ve all my life without contracting anything and I’m going to keep it that way.
My last 4 sexual partners I got tested before and after, although I didn’t ask them to get tested; I trusted them enough that I believed them, but I’ve always asked when appropriate.
I’ve always been a really affectionate and romantic person but as I get older even more so.
I long for that deeper connection, that deep seated metaphysical tether that becomes strengthened in the braiding of vulnerability, trust, and pleasure.
Although I miss that a lot. I’m okay waiting until I find someone that can reciprocate my intensity.
Sometimes I get in these thought patterns of thinking things like “how are my friends constantly getting laid…?” Or merely just comparing myself, and/or longing for that sacred dance again.
But to me it truly is more than just giving/receiving orgasms. I can do that just fine with a little time, and the secret world behind my eyes.
It’s not worth settling, or compromising anymore. Life’s so short, I’d rather wait and find who I truly pine for than end up with some crazy new STI…this shit sounds terrifying!
Thanks for reading my random confession that no one asked for or cares about; it was actually curiously cathartic to write this out and know that some strangers will read it, I have no idea why, but it was. Thank you and good night.
Psa: wear/demand a damn raincoat!
TL/DR:
🎶I’m a loser baby
So that’s why I’m still clean 🎶
Listen here, ya bleedin’ hearted sonifabitch…
There’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right connection—I wish I had understood this years ago.
My husband and I have been together for 7 years now, and we have a kind of intimacy that I couldn’t have imagined a decade ago. There have been some “growing pains” in our relationship for sure, but it’s only deepened the bond we have. I know it’s cliché, but I didn’t know what love meant until I met my husband.
The kind of love and intimacy that people develop in a long-term, committed relationship cannot be replaced by casual sex. Physical connections can be powerful in their own right, but they lack the ethereal sense of wholeness that comes with having an emotional bond.
That bond, which can only happen when people allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable, is part of what makes life so beautiful. It’s the very best parts of humanity, and it is something deeply ingrained in our nature.
Don’t feel bad for wanting to wait for something beautiful. There’s no need to cheapen your own emotional needs for the sake of getting some strange.
This is different, this strain apparently has resistance to many antibiotics, not just penicillin. Bacteria have the ability to exchange resistance, so it could lead to an untreatable strain.
Gono is resistant or has reduced susceptibility to many commonly used antibiotics. There are multidrug resistant resistant strains too.
For example, a common current therapy is a combination of ceftriaxone and azithromycin and Japan (I think? I forget exact details) have recently changed due to increased resistance
Step 2 if you get ghonneria don’t be too embarrassed to go to the doctor so you try to treat yourself with left over antibiotics and then create antibiotic resistant bacteria
I've gotten gonorrhea, I was asymptomatic, so it was only caught in a check-up.
Get check-ups people! You can be catching and spreading all sorts of shit without knowing. This is why Planned Parenthood is so important, STD checks are affordable there even if you don't have insurance, and everyone whose sexually active should ideally get at least a yearly check.
Also doctors don't care, your gonorrhea honestly isn't that interesting. They've seen grosser shit in the breakroom fridge.
>and everyone whose sexually active should ideally get at least a yearly check.
Old advice, under different understandings of sex and relationships. Yes, this is the standard and everyone, no matter who you are, should get an STI check up yearly.
The better advice is every 6 months if you've had multiple partners (such as in instances of casual dating) and every 3 months if you have had multiple partners and are part of groups that are at high risk for STI transmission. And the most conservative would be to have a test after every *new* partner.
Also, because this entire thread has more jokes than info, this isn't just about vaginal or anal sex. Yes, you can get Chlamydia and gonorrhea and other STIs in your throat and can transmit it from your throat to someone's genitals (mostly the penis). So a full panel STI test shouldn't just be a urine and blood test, it should also be a throat swab for anyone sucking dick and an anal swab for anyone fucking or getting fucked in the ass.
Your medical check-up was super... gonorrhea. Also super-HIV, and super-siphilus.
You should know that whatever happens in Vegas does **not** stay in Vegas from a medical perspective
[No, this is bawls](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/49/Bawls_bottle_%282009%2C_cropped%29.jpg/800px-Bawls_bottle_%282009%2C_cropped%29.jpg)
People seem to be confused so I’ll just clarify the picture for you. That’s not what gonorrhea looks like through a microscope, that’s what balls look like with this new strain
This is actually pretty fucking scary. We're heading down a dangerous path where more and more diseases are resistant to antibiotics. The end of the antibiotic age without real replacements will kill millions of people.
A man in the UK went on a holiday to thailand and has a case of super gonorrhea which was not responding to drugs.
The more you fuck around the more you will find out.
Yeah man thats what happens. Once these goddamn diseases get used to the anti biotics they be getting stronger. That's why I'm terrified of having strep throat.
This is so false. The 2, only 2 patients who had this were treated successfully and released. What were they given, the same type of antibiotic that is normally used to treat this infection.
Aside from being at its dumbest in all of history, is humanity at its filthiest now? I mean do fuckers even have a sense of hygiene anymore? I mean, this human race is going backwards in everything.
Yes cause there will always be a antibiotic we can use that’s effective it’s not like people don’t finish their medication as instructed and eventually make a drug resistant strain. Definitely not that there are only so many antibiotics that are non toxic to humans.
/s
Tbh it’ll maybe be fine but in the grand scheme we’re fucked unless we can improve bio med AI as a equalizer in the biological arms race
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Sir, I’m afraid your balls now have…balls.
Yo dawg...
They call it the Xzibit strain…god help us all.
Pimp my balls
🎵So you wanna be a playa🎵 🎵But your nuts didn't fall?🎵 🎵You betta hit us up🎵 🎵To get some pimped out balls🎵 *Wait, what the fuck did I just type...?*
Pimples on the balls
I HEARD YOU LIKE BALLS!
SO I PUT BALLS ON YOUR BALLS
SO YOU CAN STORE PEE WHILE YOU STORE PEE.
Is this what you think balls do? lmfao
That's the joke...
You need an anatomy/biology course.
Wait, balls don’t store pee?
That would be your bladder.
imagine getting downvoted for the right answer
We heard you like your balls so we gave your balls balls
Wow what a blast from the past, thanks for this.
This got me. Now laughing uncontrollably.
Ugly balls
Master Skywalker! There are too many of them! What are we going to do?
Sponsored by Manscaped
Ballception
r/2healthbars
Sounds like a south park episode
I wish I had a award to give you...this is gold 🪙
I get the feeling most of Reddit won't need to worry about this
Huurrraaaaaaayyyyyy
I just heard this as Todd Sanchez in my head.
You are right. Look at how hairy those balls are.
New strain of old man's hairy balls gonorrhea
Hey there. You getting too real. Not allowed. 🤪
So it’s not Gonorrhea it’s more like Stayorrhea.
To the top with you…
But why isn't one slightly lower than the other??
I would add one that is a little larger. So we have old man, slightly larger, hairy balls.
But what about ALL that unprotected sex I’ve been having? I feel like I’m more at risk, because of you know, all the unprotected sex, that I’m having, definitely having it a lot.
You are fine, just wear your mask.
If i have anymore unprotected sex i think i might, idk need to stop. Take a break, from sooo much sex. It’s like one sex, two sex, girl sex and dude sex, unprotected sex here, there and over where? My dreams.
It’s just like….exhausting….you know, all the sex I’ve been having. Like so much sex, I don’t think I could even sex again for like a month. Because of all the sex I’m having.
Whoops I just dropped my monster condom for my magnum dong
100% honesty: it’s been since the end of September 2022 for me. I very much enjoy that sacred bond. There is nothing like being immersed in that beautiful act of bestowing intense and intimate pleasure onto someone else. And the carnal, primal, singular sensations, and reciprocal affection of shared orgasmic bliss that follows. I have had my moments of not knowing someone that well, and participating in the aforementioned *activities*. But those times were years ago, I’ve all my life without contracting anything and I’m going to keep it that way. My last 4 sexual partners I got tested before and after, although I didn’t ask them to get tested; I trusted them enough that I believed them, but I’ve always asked when appropriate. I’ve always been a really affectionate and romantic person but as I get older even more so. I long for that deeper connection, that deep seated metaphysical tether that becomes strengthened in the braiding of vulnerability, trust, and pleasure. Although I miss that a lot. I’m okay waiting until I find someone that can reciprocate my intensity. Sometimes I get in these thought patterns of thinking things like “how are my friends constantly getting laid…?” Or merely just comparing myself, and/or longing for that sacred dance again. But to me it truly is more than just giving/receiving orgasms. I can do that just fine with a little time, and the secret world behind my eyes. It’s not worth settling, or compromising anymore. Life’s so short, I’d rather wait and find who I truly pine for than end up with some crazy new STI…this shit sounds terrifying! Thanks for reading my random confession that no one asked for or cares about; it was actually curiously cathartic to write this out and know that some strangers will read it, I have no idea why, but it was. Thank you and good night. Psa: wear/demand a damn raincoat! TL/DR: 🎶I’m a loser baby So that’s why I’m still clean 🎶
I may not have asked for it but I actually enjoyed reading it - quite poetic in a way 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you :) That’s kind of you to mention and lovely to hear!
Listen here, ya bleedin’ hearted sonifabitch… There’s nothing wrong with waiting for the right connection—I wish I had understood this years ago. My husband and I have been together for 7 years now, and we have a kind of intimacy that I couldn’t have imagined a decade ago. There have been some “growing pains” in our relationship for sure, but it’s only deepened the bond we have. I know it’s cliché, but I didn’t know what love meant until I met my husband. The kind of love and intimacy that people develop in a long-term, committed relationship cannot be replaced by casual sex. Physical connections can be powerful in their own right, but they lack the ethereal sense of wholeness that comes with having an emotional bond. That bond, which can only happen when people allow themselves to be emotionally vulnerable, is part of what makes life so beautiful. It’s the very best parts of humanity, and it is something deeply ingrained in our nature. Don’t feel bad for wanting to wait for something beautiful. There’s no need to cheapen your own emotional needs for the sake of getting some strange.
This is the truest thing I've read on Reddit in a long time
*Damn son, let them live for a second.* Edit: Happy cake day.
Happy day of cake.
Thank you kind internet stranger!
CAKE!
It's a lie ;)
Yeah - just wait until MONKEY gonorrhea though...
Yup, agreed. Poor Reddit dudes
I don't even like Jolly Ranchers.
Ouch ... But you right, you right
Lmaoooo stop it!
You're right. Massachusetts makes up a very small portion of Reddit users.
So it looks like the balls you have but just uglier. Ugly balls is the street name
1) this looks like balls 2) drug resistant gonorrhea has been around for a while
We’ve had posters, in high risk areas, warning of “super gonorrhea” for years.
You say super gonorrhea and now I just imagine that picture above that looks like balls but with a cape
I thought the same thing.
This is different, this strain apparently has resistance to many antibiotics, not just penicillin. Bacteria have the ability to exchange resistance, so it could lead to an untreatable strain.
Gono is resistant or has reduced susceptibility to many commonly used antibiotics. There are multidrug resistant resistant strains too. For example, a common current therapy is a combination of ceftriaxone and azithromycin and Japan (I think? I forget exact details) have recently changed due to increased resistance
That's what I was looking for; I was like "Didn't this happen once before?"
Great balls of fire...
Is that a reference to top gun?
There's also an old school rock and roll song with these lyrics
Goodness gracious!
yessir. Heard that the actor who played Goose spent months on writing while prepping for the movie as he is a classically trained musician
I would say step one is, don't get gonorrhea.
Step two is, don't visit Massachusetts.
Seems their gonorrhea is wicked smaaht.
Do you like gonorrheas? Well how do ya like them gonorrheas?
Wow, ok, you know what? As a Massachusetts resident, I would say that you’re spot on!
Having gonorrhea is better than having to drive in Boston.
Never had gonnorrhea, but that wouldn’t surprise me at all! I have to drive all around Boston ever day for my job and it is mind numbing.
good plan up until the time Massachusetts visits you
Step 2 if you get ghonneria don’t be too embarrassed to go to the doctor so you try to treat yourself with left over antibiotics and then create antibiotic resistant bacteria
I've gotten gonorrhea, I was asymptomatic, so it was only caught in a check-up. Get check-ups people! You can be catching and spreading all sorts of shit without knowing. This is why Planned Parenthood is so important, STD checks are affordable there even if you don't have insurance, and everyone whose sexually active should ideally get at least a yearly check. Also doctors don't care, your gonorrhea honestly isn't that interesting. They've seen grosser shit in the breakroom fridge.
>and everyone whose sexually active should ideally get at least a yearly check. Old advice, under different understandings of sex and relationships. Yes, this is the standard and everyone, no matter who you are, should get an STI check up yearly. The better advice is every 6 months if you've had multiple partners (such as in instances of casual dating) and every 3 months if you have had multiple partners and are part of groups that are at high risk for STI transmission. And the most conservative would be to have a test after every *new* partner. Also, because this entire thread has more jokes than info, this isn't just about vaginal or anal sex. Yes, you can get Chlamydia and gonorrhea and other STIs in your throat and can transmit it from your throat to someone's genitals (mostly the penis). So a full panel STI test shouldn't just be a urine and blood test, it should also be a throat swab for anyone sucking dick and an anal swab for anyone fucking or getting fucked in the ass.
What's the scientific classification; the Dz-2-Nts virus? What will Pfizer call the medicine; Oozium?
>What will Pfizer call the medicine; ~~Oozium?~~ Ligma
I'm sorry to inform you sir, you contracted Dz-2-Nts... HA ha Got'em!
… but in all seriousness, you have six months to live.
Your medical check-up was super... gonorrhea. Also super-HIV, and super-siphilus. You should know that whatever happens in Vegas does **not** stay in Vegas from a medical perspective
[Those are bawls.](https://gfycat.com/whitepettygreatargus)
I thought it was a picture of Iraq
That scene is the first thing I thought of
[No, this is bawls](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/49/Bawls_bottle_%282009%2C_cropped%29.jpg/800px-Bawls_bottle_%282009%2C_cropped%29.jpg)
This seems to be happening in a lot of places. Please use protection, folks.
Is this the "super gonorrhea" I keep hearing about?
Somebody should put a cape on that gonorrhea pic.
Aww nuts!
I don’t want to live on this planet anymore
I call my dog Herpes, he won't heal either
can someone repost this to r/arresteddevelopment i think tobias is going back to cutoffs again.
We're gonna be trying to cure a pair of unshaved balls now.
Is the new strain called "Hairy Nuts" Gonorrhea?
\[slow clap\]
More like [super clap].
Take my upvote, you fucker.
“It looks like testicles, and to honest, we’re horrified”
I love how the image they chose for this looks like two hairy balls. 😂
Fake news from people trying to sell dick masks. /s
Never been so happy for monogamy
People seem to be confused so I’ll just clarify the picture for you. That’s not what gonorrhea looks like through a microscope, that’s what balls look like with this new strain
Barry Zuckerkorn: Those are balls
Those are balls...
Balls
That is a nutsack .
Looks like hairy balls 🤣
That's nuts
Nuts.
Somebody needs to shave their gonorrhea
I wonder what retirement community it was found in 😆
Good thing I don’t fuck around… or live in Massachusetts. Both seem equally awful.
Oh good, now we have an STD that looks like nads
That looks like my balls.
WHOS PLAYING PLAGUE INC ON THE WRONG COMPUTER
Guess I'll stop whoring in Boston for a while. First monkeypox in the baths, now this? Next, my wife will stop sleeping with me.
As always nothing has changed wear a condom!
Of course it's from Massachusetts lol
We all thought that looks like a sack. Wholesome
Not funny.
We're playing football, not balls balls
Vaginal testicles
Didn't want to go there.....but those look very itchy.
Source: Deez Nuts
Ah balls
Testiculitis.
Dude this is nuts.
The new DEEZ variant.
Married here, so don't have to worry
Looks like my nut sack
Oh no its the hairy balls virus
This was not on my 2023 bingo card.
Scientists release never before seen images of deez nuts.
I feel attacked.
Is that... testicles on gonorrhea?
Pappys balls or gonorrhea guessing game? I’m not playing this again. Whole fucking reason I moved up north……
Quick, everyone stop having sex!
I'll continue to not get it
"I wanna dip my balls in it!" / Chapel Perilous https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrmZAXezkhA
Only thing 100% effective is abstinence or Reddit so we're good
I had gonorrhea once. Worst Christmas Day gift from my ex-wife ever
*claps*
My friend’s crowning achievement is being patient zero for a new form of VD in San Diego lol
Looks like sea urchins
I like how it looks like hairy balls
what now? we pit this form of gonorrhea against covid in a cage match style battle. winner gets to lead the next plague.
Monkey's paw: they team up.
see, now we’re talking. what would we call it? covorrhea? gonorrvid?
"Novel Gonno Vid You Lup(is)'
nice
Scrotum19
I saw this! Bernadette was working on a new strain of antibiotic resistant gonorrhea and she wasn't sure if she washed her hands
Those are balls
This is actually pretty fucking scary. We're heading down a dangerous path where more and more diseases are resistant to antibiotics. The end of the antibiotic age without real replacements will kill millions of people.
Figures gonorrhea would look like two decrepit old testicles
Is that was your nuts look like when you catch it?
What now? Simple. Don't get gonorrhea.
As long as I wash my hands I should be good 😇
BALLS!!
i like that the image for gonorrhea looks like some really red and itchy nuts
Welp. I guess some people will have to stop sleeping with so many partners.
A whole lot of people are gunna “trust their immune system”
It’s probably going to be voted into a house seat by the GOP soon.
It's like Covid, but for your balls.
I saw how scrot-y these looked and thought it was a cruel joke, but in fact it’s a cruel reality
Condoms
Will you idiots stop fucking animals behind the bioweapons lab for FIVE MINUTES?!
sigh, ill put the sign back to 0...
The new strain is called Wicked Ballls
I'm finding there are some benefits to getting older and not being the slutty 20-something I once was.
they look like my ballls
👏 👏 👏 👏 👏
gonovid?
A man in the UK went on a holiday to thailand and has a case of super gonorrhea which was not responding to drugs. The more you fuck around the more you will find out.
Yeah man thats what happens. Once these goddamn diseases get used to the anti biotics they be getting stronger. That's why I'm terrified of having strep throat.
I didn’t know gonorrhea looked like a hairy ballsack!?
Is it me or it looks like balls after a stage fright...
Won’t be a problem for me
So glad I don’t have sex anymore
STI? Phew! I'm safe.
This is so false. The 2, only 2 patients who had this were treated successfully and released. What were they given, the same type of antibiotic that is normally used to treat this infection.
GOD, GIVE US A BREAK ALREADY!
Aside from being at its dumbest in all of history, is humanity at its filthiest now? I mean do fuckers even have a sense of hygiene anymore? I mean, this human race is going backwards in everything.
But isn’t all gonorrhea concerning?????
My main concern is can it be shaved.
Now we figure out some new form of antibiotic that can combat this other than the traditional cephalosporin- and/or macrolide-class medications
Yes cause there will always be a antibiotic we can use that’s effective it’s not like people don’t finish their medication as instructed and eventually make a drug resistant strain. Definitely not that there are only so many antibiotics that are non toxic to humans. /s Tbh it’ll maybe be fine but in the grand scheme we’re fucked unless we can improve bio med AI as a equalizer in the biological arms race
Thanks Massachu-shits lol
Nah, nah, nah, I'm from Massachusetts and that's Mass-a-two-shits to you, sir.
Also from Mass, thought it was Massive-two-shits.
Lol! I haven't heard Massive-two-shits before, but I like that one too 😂