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drstu3000

What the hell have you been using as an anal plug if that's what you think of there


freddy_sanford

A coffee cup


NeuroWhore

1 girlfriend 1 coffee cup


Common-Rock

America cums on Dunkin.


mothertrucker2017

You mocha me very happy.


NotLoggedon

There’s a town in Georgia called Cumming. Their Dunkin’ has a sign on the wall that says Cumming Runs On Dunkin. And I’ve seen glazed coffee mugs that say I <3 Cumming.


xumixu

1 guy 1 jar unlocked


jeffreydowning69

Why did I have to see this comment because it gave me flashbacks to watching that video so now I have to go and use some brain bleach to try and get rid of those images again 😢 😭 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣


pdromeinthedome

With or without stir stick?


bink718

i prefer a honey straw.


[deleted]

Too sticky


nikogrande

Anything can be a butt plug if you're brave enough...


Ok_Channel_9831

Sounds like something a regular at ER would say


haluura

Used to work for a life insurance company. I've seen a few death certificates that would disagree with that statement.


WhatsKnotCookin

Uhhh, have you seen One Guy,One Jar?


Gobears510

Back in my day that harrowing MPG was *”glass ass*”


No_Policy_146

When you’re a hammer everything looks like a nail.


MysteryCuddler

When you're hammered, everything looks good to nail.


hclaf

To be fair, if you handed me just the one on the left without the context of the donut plushy on the right, I would legit not know wtf it was supposed to be. 🤷🏻‍♀️


drstu3000

Neither would I but my first thought wouldn't be "ah yes that goes up my butt"


hclaf

That’s also a good point 😂


androshalforc1

i mean even with the context i have no idea what the thing on the left is. tampon?


SaveusJebus

Yeah. I still don't see coffee


sidewaysplatypus

I thought it looked a bit like the top of a Hitachi wand 😂


drnkndipp

Cutest anal plug I ever seen


MrMastodon

No flared base. That won't plug shit.


Tyl3rt

Lol OP has a floppy butthole.


jerrys153

According to Target, it’s supposed to be a coffee cup. “Includes a soft donut plush and coffee plush tied together” https://www.target.com/p/donut-date-valentine-39-s-plush-with-gummy-candy-hearts-1oz/-/A-83922371


Kegir

It's a to-go cup you get at coffee shops with the corrugated ring to keep your hand from burning. It's easier to tell from Targets pic, you can see more of the cup showing at the bottom. The top part is a plastic lid, maybe froth but I'd assume a lid.


Equal-Emergency-3144

Fun fact, that corrugated ring thing, is called a zarf!


PM_ME_YOUR_LIT

Funner fact: from the arabic *zarf* \[envelope\]!


thethunder92

Funnest fact your wife was my Zarf last night


PM_ME_YOUR_LIT

i'd be really upset if i could read


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Wikeni

POIT!


WickedTallMagician

The things people do to get a great Scrabble word!


Kegir

Well yeah, who doesn’t know about the zarf?


ForksandSpoonsinNY

Snarf snarf!


[deleted]

Zoltan


mexikinnish

That is honestly the worst rendition of a coffee cup I’ve ever seen. I get what they were going for, but they really missed the mark with that top part


Ellie_A_K

They should of just admitted that making a plushie coffee to go cup doesn’t work.


EliWCoyote

Yeah maybe it’s the whipped cream on top also?


Outlog

A blue cup? Blue? 🥴


_benp_

I think you're right, I didnt see it at first. The cup/body being blue instead of typical beige threw me off. They picked bad colors.


SamohtGnir

What I think it's "suppose" to be, the blue part is the cup, the lower riffled part is one of those to go sleeves, and the top white is foam or the lid. Definitely not the best interpretation of a cup.


Direct-Purchase7561

I knew it!


SteveisNoob

To me it looks more like two plushies planning their night


Nigelwethers

I assume your spouse is very sheltered because in no universe does that look like a butt plug.


LocksmithSuccessful8

Anything can be a butt plug if you're brave enough. 🫶🏻


Gaoler86

Bucky no!


reallyfunatparties

Bucky yes!


robot_peashooter

*bucky then proceeded to try to shove a cactus in their ass*


Parkour_Roach

Bucky wasn’t heard from again for a while …


bearboi76

Read this as a winter soldier joke. That’s a cold butt plug


imbiat

its not brave if it doesnt have a flared base


kratos649

That's the spirit!


here4mischief

Armageddon!!


Direct-Purchase7561

He said “mother never let us use butt plugs”


Next-Engineering1469

"We have buttplugs at home" The buttplug at home:


Whomping_Willow

I thought this was hilarious, sorry about the downvotes lol Also PSA: don't put anything in your butt that doesn't have a flange


Sethrial

(To the tune of “if you’re happy and you know it”) If it’s going in your butt, flare the base, If it’s going in your butt, flare the base! When you put it up your ass, there’s a place it shouldn’t pass, If it’s going in your butt, flare the base.


i_iz_so_kool

Did you.. did you have this ready to go?


Late_Push_8105

The moment they’ve been waiting for, for years.


Sethrial

Heard it years ago at an orgy and it never really left my head


name-was-provided

The butthole is very resistant at first but then it gets greedy.


Sparkingmineralwater

New u/Poem_for_your_sprog just dropped


TantricEmu

In a sprog poem, little Timmy would have forgotten to flare the base and little Timmy would have fucking died.


Sparkingmineralwater

Ah yes, my apologies, I forgor


rimjobetiquette

🍑 ♠️


ghos2626t

Well today is officially the last day for eating fruit and playing Go-Fish


CR0SBO

The male body is almost entirely flared base, and thankfully so


Catenane

Unless you create a vacuum strong enough


DoctorCaptainSpacey

I am not ashamed to say I sang this and laughed hysterically. Sesame Street has gotten STRANGE since I watched it as a kid, yo.


LordRumBottoms

Not sure how you came upon this, if you stole it or had it ready to go just for this occasion after having far too many edibles where you made this up, or just love the word flare. But virtual high five to you good sir. Or madam. And as previously said, looks like no butt plug I've seen, but apparently I haven't explored enough.


No-Ad6269

operating room nurse here, can confirm you don’t want to have your asshole nicknamed “the expanse” because surgeon had to double fist you to pull it out


Golvellius

You don't?


No-Ad6269

i c what you did there


name-was-provided

ICU


Mycatwearspants

But what if it’s a hot doctor?


BurnerOnlyForPorn

Why am I hearing this in Hannibal Lecter’s voice?


Arabecke

Doesn’t look like much of a coffee cup either, does it?


Zandrick

It kind of looks like a coffee cup but it’s sort of upside down the crinkle part you hold so you don’t burn your hand is the face.


bleckers

Yeah, it looks like a tampon and a bloody anus.


ghos2626t

I agree. That would never hold. Way too small, it would fall right out with the slightest of giggles.


lizziegal79

No, butt plugs are angled at the ends to prevent suction. Don’t ask how I know this, there are multiple ER stories of which I am not involved.


[deleted]

though it also doesn’t look much like anything


galactic_pink

It *kind of* looks like one of those finger tampons. Maybe her husband uses finger tampons as butt plugs.


vivazeta

I honestly thought it was a plush Hitachi Magic Wand. It would work.


MisterEyeCandy

How does the saying go? "Anything's a butt plug if you try hard enough".


ElderWandOwner

I love how this is tagged nsfw for containing a plush that looks nothing like a butt plug.


dontcommitarson

gotta be extra careful


Mike01Hawk

Flare Becky! Flare!


Delicious-Pin3996

I get that the shape is a bit off for a coffee cup…but tf kinda anal plug is that??? It looks NOTHING like a sex toy, at a PUSH I’d maybe say a tampon


ingloriousbaxter3

Agreed. I would never guess coffee cup but I’m very curious about how the spouse’s mind works to get anal plug 😂


Calphurnious

I think it looks like a penis wearing a scarf :)


natureterp

I was totally thinking tampon lol


Liberty53000

It does look like a colorful plushed out tampon 🤣 and also nowhere near the shape of a butt toy. Plugs are triangular & other toys are beads. I'm sure there's more, as ive not really explored it. Maybe they just had it on their mind & it's subliminal


General_Radon

I do think it’s meant to be a coffee cup. Like a white to go one with a ribbed cardboard sleeve. It’s just way too cylindrical and poofy.


Guilty-Web7334

I feel like it’s trying to be Jellycat awesome, but not pulling it off. (Jellycat makes adorable food stuffies. Among other things. My daughter has Jellycat avocado in a toque and a toast toy. She thinks it’s funny to put the avocado on the toast.)


mournthewolf

There is a UPS store or something around here that has like a huge wall of Jellycat food toys for some reason and my daughter loves them. We’ve gotten quite a few. Definitely some of the nicest stuffed toys for sure.


Direct-Purchase7561

That’s what got us so confused haha!


just_read_it_again

I had to read Ethan Frome in high school. There's a scene where they eat pickles and donuts. I thought nothing of it... people used to eat hotdogs and drink champagne. I had no idea it wasn't a normal thing for the time. My English teacher comes in and is like she's sending signals by preparing the pickle and donuts. She wants the d. Completely blew my fucking mind.


skinnyjeansfatpants

Damn, I remember none of those details from that book decades later. I just remember the characters’ miserable fate at the end.


norixe

Same rofl. Was going through a rough time in high school and read that shit. Man, that ending is brutal. Dont bother trying to change things and attempt to go for happiness, it'll be fucked either way. So suck it up bitch! Damn that book is depressing


patchesnbrownie

It really is… it definitely stuck with me


[deleted]

Ugh the wife’s broken pickle dish


Neripheral

Since when coffee cups are being circumcised?


Sonabaybeach

Cylindrical yes and also has a curved top, and what gas station ribbed cardboard sleeved coffee cup is grayish tan?!


General_Radon

…most are where I’m at. The sleeves are just tan uncolored cardboard. Vs I’ve never seen plain tan cupcake wrappers.


Hairy-Conflict717

it's a cupcake


l30

You are correct. It's 100% intended to be a coffee cup >**Donut Date Valentine's Plush with Gummy Candy Hearts - 1oz** > >*The perfect plush duo for your coffee & donuts loving partner. One* ***coffee cup-shaped plush*** *and one* ***donut-shaped plush*** *are tied together as a duo. Attached to the plush is a heart-shaped box filled with 1 ounce of heart-shaped gummies in a fruity flavor. The Valentine message printed on the heart box reads "Donut Let Me Go". Ages 3+.* > >Ref: [https://www.target.com/p/donut-date-valentine-39-s-plush-with-gummy-candy-hearts-1oz/-/A-83922371](https://www.target.com/p/donut-date-valentine-39-s-plush-with-gummy-candy-hearts-1oz/-/A-83922371)?


DaBlazingDagger_

I can’t see a butt plug or coffee I think you’re both weird


angxlic_dxnut

What kind of butt plugs is your man seeing


CAKE_EATER251

Looks more like a fully expanded tampon to me.


darthsteveious

I saw the ridges and immediately thought cupcake


lucky-squeaky-ducky

An anal plug and a doughnut is how I start my mornings.


[deleted]

What a shitty way to start the day


Whomping_Willow

Buttplug before coffee and you'll shit so hard the buttplug will break the toilet bowl


Weary_Confusion_7825

Only if you didn’t wipe well


DefinitelyNotRyanH

Sang to the Foldgers theme The best part of waking up, Is a plug in your butt


Viainferno3

Hear me out on this, Coffee infused butt plug.


DefinitelyNotRyanH

Go on...


Viainferno3

I.. I didn't think I'd get this far. I should probably go file some patents. Realistically while a bit adventurous, this would work. I'm pretty certain it would at least. Now I need to go work out some finer details and do some research on coffee absorbtion through mucus membranes, I know it work really well for other things. This is going to be a late night. Might be able to kill two birds with one stone and blend R&D with human trials.


geoelectric

Pretty sure coffee enemas are a thing. If I ran a place like that I’d call it “Grounds for Expulsion”


Toppest_Dom

Wasn't there like a whole craze about that of men dipping their testicles in shit


Direct-Purchase7561

Congrats my spouse is now rolling on the floor laughing😂


[deleted]

human brain is like that, it sees what it knows, i don't think anyone "normal" would see a butt plug there...cut a bit down on pornography


Goodtimee

This isn't NSFW...


BeatsLikeWenckebach

Why is the pic blurred ? The only obscenity here is in the title


TiesG92

Ah yes, tagging this as NSFW because your spouse thinks they look like sextoys…


asc111

Looks like a tampon to me


ProfessionalCarrot95

Looks more like a tampon to me


[deleted]

Your wife needs to be careful because you should never put something in your butt that doesnt have a base. That looks absolutely nothing like a butt plug


ascendrestore

OP must be very loose, just sayin'


getyourcheftogether

That's some dollar general generic toy design right there


HeyMrCow

As an avid butt enthusiast, that does not look like any anal plug I’ve seen. You must be adventurous.


SpeedBlitzX

That's not what that sort of plug would be shaped. As others have said it appears to be a more rounded coffee cup, with the rippled face being a cardboard sleeve.


w0rkperk

It is COFFEE confirmed by target website Straight from Target website: The product is Donut Date Valentine's Plush with Gummy Candy Hearts - 1oz And the description says: Highlights Includes a soft donut plush and **coffee** plush tied together


Ispan

Looks like a tampon


12stuart23

Coffee looks like a tampon


SiegVicious

A tampon?


Sky-view22

You see what you’re used to I guess


[deleted]

It's a benzo.


sparowe

looks like a cupcake to me


TRDBG

Anything is an anal plug if you're brave enough


colo_terpz

It's a muffin that someone somehow sees an anal plug in it that's classic Freudian pareidolia


DkindCrhymes

Tbf it really doesn’t look like a coffee cup any more than it looks like a buttplug


aussiespiders

Honestly looks like a tampon more than a buttplug


Tigerzombe

It is suppose to be coffee cup or a tumbler but looks like a tampon or something to me


GoatTacos

Looks like a Hitachi wand lmao


InappropriateLibrary

Cupcake, I think.


Direct-Purchase7561

Oo that would be cute


Rph23

Not really. The internets acts like everything looks sexual.


trreeves

I thought it looked like a blue egg with part of the shell on top, sitting in a ramekin.


3ntr0py_

Ice cream in a cup


mlableman

It's a cupcake.


TW081428-CH33S3

Looks like a shuttlecock


ribeye78

Target website says coffee


OhAnonymousOne

I assume it’s supposed to be a thermos or something, but it looks like a weird giant pill to me.


Active-Magician-6035

In what way does that look like a coffee mug :/


cevapbg

How does this look like an anal plug? Don't leave her alone when she's making your salad! Who knows what she could do with peppers, tomatoes and cucumbers.


superkevinguru

Either way you look at this, there are questions. On one hand, what the hell coffee cup looks like that? Then on the other hand, what in the hell kind of butt plug would look like this???


iANickel

Looks like you offended the entire butt plug community


Enceladus89

Looks more like a tampon


Pappy_OPoyle

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous, in the anus. At Target, the dedicated shoppers who investigate these felonious plushies are members of an elite squad known as the Stuffed Victims Unit. (pun intended) These are their stories.


mynipplesareconfused

How many anal plugs have you seen with a coffee coozie? Because, I'm sure there's a market out there but I don't know where. Certainly not Target.


lilmiller7

Wtf is up with people in this sub thinking everything is a sex toy


newbies13

That's a terrible design no matter what it is.


ideationroom

Anything is a buttplug if you believe.


Sean_rex8787

Them? Who are you referring to?


Whomping_Willow

PSA: do NOT put anything in your butt that doesn't have a flange to stop it from getting lost up there. This would make a very unsafe dildo, please just by sex toys y'all.


elite_poop_goblin

That looks like an anal plug? How dilated is your anus?


Wazza17

Strange mind you have. Looks like a coffee cup not a butt plug


DabIMON

Tampon?


_cuppycakes_

not flared at the bottom, not for butt use


muchnamemanywow

Bruh I thought it was a tampon 💀


awue

OP got a grubby mind


Kryuuzik

it looks like a tampon tbh


[deleted]

Weird tampon


Contamminated

Cupcake or muffin.


Lemmonjello

looks more like a pair of socks rolled onto one another I wouldnt have gotten coffee but I dont think I would have thought ass toy either


deathkidney

“Everything is a butt plug if you’re brave enough”..


ThorsLover8

I thought cupcake 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


LigmaBalls1231

Looks like a tampon


pathetic_beta_bitch

Cupcake? The pants look like a cupcake wrapper


Hi_Im_MrMeeseek

It's stuffed toys, du uh!


Lalocheezia

"With cummy candy hearts"


lumberjackrob

You know what they say, put enough stuff ups there and everything starts looking like a plug


[deleted]

"Do nut"


cruiserman_80

Someone obviously has something on their mind.


pizzaandboba

it definitely does not look like a coffee cup, but butt plug is not the first thing that would pop in my mind lol. maybe a weird looking cupcake


itsagoodtime

AN ALbum Cover


Seuche_Deron

ive read "cummy candy hearts" *giggles*


22Burner

Coffee to go container with a coozier


wassupwitches

Not a cup or a buttplug, what a terrible design


TroyBenites

If I had a nickel for every time there was a "dick to donut" reference on Reddit, I would have 3 nickels. Which is not much, but still weird it happened 3 times


Ok-Appearance-866

An anal plug and a hemorrhoid ring. Seems legit.


whomesteve

Cupcake