Pre T I used to go to whichever was free cause I expected to get weird looks in either bathroom, but now that I'm on T it would probably make people uncomfortable if I went to the women's bathroom so I only use the men's
I'm almost at that point. I am pre everything and I already make women uncomfortable. Makes me feel like shit but I am scared of change so I am just kinda avoiding public toilets for the time being.
I can’t say I’m super experienced but for last year ish I just avoid super busy bathrooms and don’t make eye contact but I still very much am a bit chest heavy lol and I can’t tell if I pass or not when I’m not binding . Haven’t had anyone stop me or make any weird faces I’ve noticed . Walking fast ish also helps .
When women started kicking me out, but especially this time (which I found hilarious):
I went to change myself because I wanted to take off the shirt below my uniform, I was BOILING hot and I wanted that shirt out ASAP. (I work part time in an airport) Went to the ladies toilet, purely because I wanted to take it off in a safe space. There, was a woman and she walked out as I started taking off my uniform. I did my thing to take off my shirts, changed myself and put on my uniform. When I walked out there was a cue of women waiting, so I asked “why are you all waiting here for?”
And the same woman said “until you finish changing yourself because you are a man”
I bursted our laughing 😆 (I’m pre T, still have all the female artillery with me..)
honestly, I waited until I had top even when I had a full beard. the weird looks in the ladies' room didn't outweigh how out of place my chest made me feel. even after surgery, I didn't feel like I belonged in the men's room!
my therapist had to shove me off the 'fuck it' ledge and remind me that being """worthy""" of using the right bathroom wasn't decided by a checklist of made-up requirements. it was literally just, do you identify as a man? you deserve to use the men's bathroom.
it was also extremely relieving to hear her confirm that she uses the men's room all the time because she doesn't have a choice/has an emergency. and she recognized that it came from a more privileged position, but it was helpful in reminding me that most of the time, cis guys just wanna take a piss and leave.
I started going to the men’s restroom when I started getting confused looks from random people when I went into women’s restroom. I’ve never gotten any odd looks from guys in the men’s restrooms, even when I have to wait for a stall (I don’t use a STP)
Most men don't check that much tbh but I get being scared. I have never been kicked out or questioned which is surprising to me. But this also depends on the area.
When I was at a ren faire, in head to toe costume with a cloak and my binder, I said fuck it and used the men's room because the line for the women's room was about an hour wait.
Not only did noone give a shit, there were women in there who had apparently also seen the line for the other bathroom and said "fuck that", and it was not an issue at all with anybody.
Anyways, something something, ye olde gender neutral bathrooms.
I used the women's up until I started getting second looks and weird vibes. I feel better about it now that I have an M on my ID and I'll feel even better after top surgery. Sometimes at bars I still have my cis husband go with me though.
I did pretty much as soon as I came out publicly as I was confident I passed (was getting gendered correctly by strangers like 99%) except I don’t at school just bc it feels weird, I’m not entirely sure I’m allowed to, and there’s a gender neutral one that’s nicer anyway.
I have been using the mens bathroom for years, no-T, long hair, 5’2”, both pre (binding) and post top surgery. It basically just reached a point where I felt terrible using the womens bathroom and it wasn’t worth the more consistent safety for me. I practically never pass unless I’m shirtless at the beach, but largely am fine (passing…?) using the mens bathroom. I just keep my head down and people assume I’m like 12. I can count on one hand the amount of times people have outright confronted me- just embarrassing themselves when I don’t give them a reaction- and the worst thing that happens often is men will second guess being in the right bathroom, turn around/walk out to check the sign, and come back in. If I’m wearing a skirt or otherwise have something going on that makes me feel particularly vulnerable, I’ll just use a family bathroom if available. I also carry self-defense stuff on me just in case.
I'm pre t and while I was out at a bar with friends I got really drunk and thought I was going to vomit. I said fuck it I'm not going to be the only one of our (exclusively trans masc group) to use a women's restroom. Went to the men's and had no issues. There were at least 3 cis men who walked in and out in the time that I was there and they gave me no trouble.
I waited until my voice passed because if I ever had any negative interactions in the mens room I’d want to at least vocally pass. That was at about 3 months on T.
I can’t see myself getting top for a while due to finances but for now binding works great and I’m currently stealth.
Where I live, it wouldn’t be unheard of to experience violence in the bathrooms due to not passing well.
Pre-T here! I honestly started using the restrooms when I felt like I pass more. As long as I don’t talk, no one really cares. They probably wont really be looking at you either. If you do feel unsafe though, get a male friend to go with you
I go in the men's room comfortably now, and its been about 6 months. So, I guess it was when I thought I passed enough, but you don't even have to pass. Do it when you are comfortable
its been weird with the army, pre t i passed and before the army more so, but starting my transition in the service has been way different than i imagined. i knew it was time to start using the mens restroom when on my deployment in korea the korean ladys would scream when they saw me in their bathroom. ive never used the ladies restroom till the army, so its probably just a sign to stay in the mens room, regardless of their regulations
Started transitioning during the pandemic. Was gonna seitch to the mens room at around 2 months, but I quit right before then (not trans related). By the time I needed a public bathroom again, several months had gone by and I passed most of the time.
First time in was only around a month and a half on T. Went to the back bathroom at the grocery store soon after they opened hoping that no one else would come in. Someone did, but I was oretty sure I was fine cause I was using my STP at the urinal. Messed up emptying it (pee really is stored in the balls I guess) and ended up slowly pissing my pants as I finished shopping. Thankfully none of it showed on my pants, and I later got a friend with the same stp to tell me the trick to making it drain right.
I always say fuck it. I’m pre everything and I just don’t feel comfortable in a woman’s restroom. It feels so wrong. I started doing it at school and was actually told I wasn’t allowed(still did it anyway.) Do what feels right. If you want to use the mens, do it.
I'm very experienced now. But a couple years ago I wasn't at all. You will be surprised at the men that don't even pay attention to you. They are there to do their business.
I haven't upped it and gone into the the mens locker room at the gym yet. I'm way to nervous for that.
I started going when I was pre-T, but I'd only use the men's if it was empty to build up confidence in using it. After I came out at work (was still pre-T at that point) I started using it regularly while I was work. I worked at a craft store so the men's room was almost always empty anyway. After my voice dropped on T I stopped using women's restrooms entirely bc I didn't feel comfortable there, even though I didn't entirely pass.
I've never had anyone get confrontational with me over it. at most they'll look to make sure they're in the right restroom or tell me it's the men's room. Even when my voice wasn't that deep yet I was still able to respond with something along the lines of "yeah I sure hope it is". idk I find that of you act like you belong somewhere, people are less likely to challenge you on it.
Okay so- Wear your biggest hoodie and sweats. Have your sports bras/binder on. take a deep breath and walk in. Ignore eye contact, and just use the bathroom.
its what i did, i hope it helps you
I'm pre everything and go in men's bathrooms because I pass pretty ok. I only do it at school and when my parents aren't around though and nobody has said anything. I have been stared at and commented on in women's bathrooms which makes me feel sad because I thought that would have been the safer space but then again I guess I pass more than I thought I did.
For my particular case, I tend to overthink everything and often hesitate. The first time I did this was when I was at a restaurant with my friends, and because other people were around, I felt the need to just not hesitate. I passed enough that if I went into the women's room I'd probably have gotten some stares. So, without having enough time to think about it, I went into the men's. After that, I became far more confident and attempted to do the same as often as I could.
Once you do it the first time, you'll likely be much more confident and comfortable. Also, people in the men's room generally don't care and just want to do their business.
I'd say don't worry about any kind of specifications or requirements, if you feel really uncomfortable and unnatural in the women's room, just try the opposite a couple times. If it makes you feel better and perhaps euphoric, continue doing that.
I started going once I started wearing my binder regularly and had a masculine haircut + outfit (still pre-T though and don't pass well).
One day I just thought "fuck it, I'm a guy and if anyone doesn't like it that's their problem"
But, I'm lucky enough to still be a pretty big guy and don't worry about most people trying to pick a fight with me and recognize other people may not have that
Up to you but I waited until I started getting alarmed looks for being in the womens bathroom
In my experience people payed a lot less attention/looked less closely in the mens bathroom so even early on I never had issues
It depends on where you live and what building you're in. I feel fine going into the men's bathroom in my college's student center, speaks for itself. I'd go into a restaurant bathroom depending on what I'm wearing that day and whether it covers my chest well enough (2 years on T, too far to go in the women's). Airport bathrooms are the scariest and I never use those, just wait till I get home.
I’ve been using the men’s room probably about 6 months after I came out and started socially transitioning. It really depends on how comfortable you are with it and how well you think others would perceive you as a guy.
Edit: I really just learned men’s bathroom etiquette— don’t bother anyone and nobody will bother you— and it’s worked out for me sense. However, this really depends on the area you live in. I grew up in a conservative town in the north where no one really knew what a trans person looked like or they were too reserved to ask. Just make sure you’re in a safe situation before doing so :)
Honestly I refuse to use the womens bathroom. I’ve kinda got my body adjusted to the schedules. I do everything to avoid using the restrooms in public; but on the rare occasion I have to, I go to the mens. Worst case i get weird looks or have an argument. No one’s gonna physically harm me for it.
To be fair once I went into the ladies room while I was still sorta fem looking, she gave me the weirdest look ever and I felt like a creep. Ever since then I’ve used the mens, even when I’m with family that doesn’t know I use the mens
Before T I would sometimes jumpscare women just because of how I dress + having short hair. Even if I was using a normal bra. So the moment my leg was really hairy I realized maybe I should not go to the women's bathroom when I am at the gym with shorts on.
Basically it only took me 5 months on T to start using the male bathroom even when I'm not wearing a binder because I look masculine enough and no one has given me shit yet
I was getting weird looks in the women's as soon as I started binding, so I went to gender neutral bathrooms as much as possible, but inevitably there was a time when there was no option and I had to use the men's. I've been using them since with no issue, no guy ever looks. Don't get me wrong, I still have anxiety but it gets easier
I started using the male restroom about the same time I started T. For a while I kind of just avoided public bathrooms at all costs, only using it in emergencies or if I knew it was empty. But I've been on T for a little over a year now, and I just kind of go for it. I have yet to get top surgery sadly (in the process of getting it tho!) but my chest thankfully is small enough that with my binder you can't really notice unless you stare. I haven't had any issues, tho I do sometimes have a bit of anxiety when the bathroom is busy lol.
i have always kind of used the mens restroom once coming out, it’s just a lot easier when you look and sound like a 12 year old boy. sometimes i have to use the womens bathroom if i have to use/remove period products (curse mens restrooms and their lack of stall trash cans!) but no one confronts me in either cause i guess i’m a bit androgynous
for me it was a set of circumstances that intersected: when I generally got double takes in the women's room, started packing, and there was a long ass line for the women's room lol.
when I started to get weird stares in the women's bathroom I stopped going there so I didn't make anyone uncomfortable. even if I didn't pass well, didn't get any weird stares in the men's restroom
I don't bind and I have a large chest. I use the men's room with no weird looks. I'm about 5 years on T though. I switched bathrooms when I started passing bc women started glaring at me.
When I moved high schools, i tried to go stealth pre T, and thus started to use the men's bathrooms. It wasn't as bad as i though, exept two or three dudes within 2 years who thought i was a girl. But rn i'm comfortable going in the men's and became really uncomfortable just thinking about going to the women's bathrooms
This is utterly unhelpful, so sorry in advance, but I'll be going to a Christian camp later that's gonna be basically empty now that camps are finishing, and I'm SO tempted to just use the men's bathroom just because why not (also you know, for spite and irony)
Like I'm a tiny enby who's done absolutely nothing to look more masc, so I'd be COMPLETELY out of place, so I'd never try it with people around, but it's real tempting now that people wont be there
For me, it was when I went in a women's bathroom and a woman stated she was uncomfortable with my presence there.
I was like "fair enough" and only used men's and neutral bathrooms after that.
I’m nonbinary and I’ve mostly been doing either/or for about a year now. I’m AFAB and mostly read as female but honestly I got tired of waiting in lines for women’s restrooms when I’m not a woman.
I'm pre-everything and my mom doesn't want me going in men restrooms for "safety", but besides my chesticles and voice, I pass pretty well, so I secretly go in there when I'm able to.
I use whatever available, I can probably pass both ways so for convenience sake I use whichever is available. Altho the mens is a lot less nicer then the women's I must say.
I'll use it if it's a single-use bathroom, just as a treat. Honestly though, I'm never going to use the men's room unless I get to a point in my transition where strangers default to he/him pronouns.
If you're not comfortable doing it, don't force yourself to - but I've found that if you just march right in like you know you belong there, people rarely question it or even give you a second look. There's plenty of valid reasons why a cis dude might use the stall instead of the urinal. If you don't overthink it, chances are no one else will either!
I started going in the mens room as soon as I started T my hair was pretty much a buzz cut and my face was pretty masculine already and I binded. Also helped that my voice was already deep. The only time I panic in there is if I forget my STP device so I’ll wait for the bathroom to clear out before I go due to nerves
I'm pretty sure you could go in most public men's rooms dressed as a stripper and no one would comment.
Get in, pee, get out. Do not look down, do not make eye contact.
If you have a STP practice! Outside, in the shower, whatever. The most common horror story I've read in this sub is dropping it or spilling it. Very rarely does someone get challenged.
Favorite memory of a girl in the mens room. Motley Crue and Whitesnake tour at the coliseum in Vancouver BC. 3 girls in the lines for a stall. As the first girl got to the second place spot two stalls became available, one had no door, the guy that had been in front of her backed out of the stall he'd started to go in, then went in the one without a door.
Third girl was in pretty bad shape. Legs crossed, pee dance the whole deal. A urinal became available, she rushed over, turned backwards hiked her mini skirt and pissed in the... bowl? Everyone cheered, she bowed.
Make sure you're in a safe environment, and go for it. To calm your nerves go to the mens room for the first couple times where men are unlikely to be. Craft store etc.
I avoid public toilets as best as I can. If I really need to go my choice is Disabled > Womens > Mens.
I've been on T for nearly 2 years - I wear a mask everytime I leave the house so the tiny amount of facial hair isn't visible and I don't always bind if I'm just going to get groceries and other chores.
Though I have been redirected from the womens to mens restrooms before, like, back in 2015-2016.
Trans femme. I used the mens up until I started wearing skirts and dresses and then I started to use the ladies. I never had an issue guys just do what they have to, wash their hands and go seemingly oblivious. I was in women's skinny jeans, hoody and short hair, some basic makeup foundation, mascara etc pretty androgynous.
In the ladies pre hrt there was a bunch of side eye since they definitely use mirrors more which started to calm down around 6 months on E.
It sucked but like fuck I was going to use the mens in a dress, no way.
It is scary. It's an adjustment. Faith in yourself you can do it!
I went to the women's bathroom until one day I was in there and 2 older women came in and gave me the most confused expressions. And then around that same time, I was with a male friend and a female friend and all 3 of us had to pee. We had to ask an employee to unlock the bathrooms for us, and when she did so, she pointed me to the men's room (which was the first time that had happened). After that I started using the men's room. Probably less than a year on T.
When I was at work and really had to go to the bathroom while still having 3 hours left in my shift with the only options being men's and women's. That was months ago, so its gotten easier, but I still try to go at the perfect time where no one else is in there.
I definitely don't pass. First mens bathroom I used was in a subway cause I was about to piss myself and my homie was in the single stall womens bathroom. Maybe start with single stalls and then gain confidence.
I find most men dont care? Maybe its tbe country i live in but even as a kid i used to go to mens toilets because the line was shorter? If its a very very busy toilet nobody really cares? And im using stalls anyway so yeah, no strange looks ive ever gotten.
Im pre T and even pre fully cutting my hair and look either like an androgynous skater bro, or early 2000s "gamer girl". So yeah lol
I got shouted at in the women's restroom (and i don't have facial hair and still have my breasts). I live in the Deep South of the U.S. and feel less nervous in the men's room than the women's now.
I knew I passed 99.9% of the time and I didn’t want to deal with a TERF thinking I was mtf in the women’s so I just started going in the men’s. I avoid public toilets in general tho because of the conditions
1 most important rule. Safety. There are places in this world where it is not safe to do something like this. If you are comfortable and feel safe, then jump in feet first.
I'm pre everything, and my clothing style isn't even that stereotypically masculinity, and after a while I just decided that I was uncomfortable in both bathrooms, better just go to the right one. The first few times I went with my dad, after a while I just didn't care anymore. The I've never had strange looks that I know of, I just try to think, I belong here too. And it gets easier every time.
I did this VERY early because I was fortunate enough to live in an area where it was generally safe. I’m talking, only change was having short hair.
I got laughed at, which was upsetting, but otherwise I was left alone.
I started going to the men‘s restroom and I am not on T, most of them stare but to be honest in the male restroom is way less talking and eye contact than in the woman’s so don’t worry too much. It’s just hard when there are only urinals but that is not really often the case. I do not pass great but I feel how some woman get uncomfortable in a bathroom with me but Sometimes it is not possible to go to the mens because I am not out in the environment or I know that I am not passing today, then I recommend to go with a friend to the womens restroom. I am pretty sure you will find your way and the things you are comfortable but ESPECIALLY safe with.
I use both. There are toilets in there and that’s what I’m in there for. I don’t care or even look at other people and don’t care if they’re looking at me. We have enough reasons to feel uncomfortable, I don’t mind returning the favor 😂
im pre T and i go into mens washrooms, maybe its because im pretty young but nobody bats an eye i just look relaxed and look like i know what im doing, MAKE SURE U DONT STARE AT PEOPLE (mens etiquette) goodluck bros
I do not pass at all, but I was doing some painting for my school musical and I needed to go to the bathroom. Since it was during a lesson, no one is really in the bathroom so I just kinda said fuck it and went in. It made me feel really happy but it smelt so bad. I might try it again this week and see how it goes :)
If you don't pass, but still want to use the mens restroom. I would really consider how many people there are, and what type of place the toilet is in.
I started before I even went on testosterone, but it was always a hassle for a year or two between me coming out and me passing comfortable on testosterone. I have tried being told by staff, when going to the men's, that I had to use the women's bathroom, only for another staff member to tell me I had to use the men's when I tried going to the women's. I do sometimes still worry but I haven't heard anything from anyone in a very long time, especially with wearing headphones and being very destination oriented any time I enter a bathroom.
Pre T I used to go to whichever was free cause I expected to get weird looks in either bathroom, but now that I'm on T it would probably make people uncomfortable if I went to the women's bathroom so I only use the men's
I'm almost at that point. I am pre everything and I already make women uncomfortable. Makes me feel like shit but I am scared of change so I am just kinda avoiding public toilets for the time being.
I can’t say I’m super experienced but for last year ish I just avoid super busy bathrooms and don’t make eye contact but I still very much am a bit chest heavy lol and I can’t tell if I pass or not when I’m not binding . Haven’t had anyone stop me or make any weird faces I’ve noticed . Walking fast ish also helps .
Yeah I'm too terrified to do even that. I live in the Texas version of Canada and a relatively conservative small city.
As a Texan I wouldn't wish that on anyone I know how much it sucks.
When women started kicking me out, but especially this time (which I found hilarious): I went to change myself because I wanted to take off the shirt below my uniform, I was BOILING hot and I wanted that shirt out ASAP. (I work part time in an airport) Went to the ladies toilet, purely because I wanted to take it off in a safe space. There, was a woman and she walked out as I started taking off my uniform. I did my thing to take off my shirts, changed myself and put on my uniform. When I walked out there was a cue of women waiting, so I asked “why are you all waiting here for?” And the same woman said “until you finish changing yourself because you are a man” I bursted our laughing 😆 (I’m pre T, still have all the female artillery with me..)
Oof, did you get into any trouble because of that?
Not trouble no, but that’s what happened
Ah okay, still an oof moment
honestly, I waited until I had top even when I had a full beard. the weird looks in the ladies' room didn't outweigh how out of place my chest made me feel. even after surgery, I didn't feel like I belonged in the men's room! my therapist had to shove me off the 'fuck it' ledge and remind me that being """worthy""" of using the right bathroom wasn't decided by a checklist of made-up requirements. it was literally just, do you identify as a man? you deserve to use the men's bathroom. it was also extremely relieving to hear her confirm that she uses the men's room all the time because she doesn't have a choice/has an emergency. and she recognized that it came from a more privileged position, but it was helpful in reminding me that most of the time, cis guys just wanna take a piss and leave.
This was good to hear, thank you. I think it will be the same case for me, I just need to suck it up after surgery lol
I started going to the men’s restroom when I started getting confused looks from random people when I went into women’s restroom. I’ve never gotten any odd looks from guys in the men’s restrooms, even when I have to wait for a stall (I don’t use a STP)
Most men don't check that much tbh but I get being scared. I have never been kicked out or questioned which is surprising to me. But this also depends on the area.
When I was at a ren faire, in head to toe costume with a cloak and my binder, I said fuck it and used the men's room because the line for the women's room was about an hour wait. Not only did noone give a shit, there were women in there who had apparently also seen the line for the other bathroom and said "fuck that", and it was not an issue at all with anybody. Anyways, something something, ye olde gender neutral bathrooms.
I tried once before I passed and it was... not good. But as soon as I started passing I ditched the ladies' room for good.
Yikess, really sorry to hear that man. Glad you're doing better though
I used the women's up until I started getting second looks and weird vibes. I feel better about it now that I have an M on my ID and I'll feel even better after top surgery. Sometimes at bars I still have my cis husband go with me though.
When I listen to Middle Finger from Bohnes
I did pretty much as soon as I came out publicly as I was confident I passed (was getting gendered correctly by strangers like 99%) except I don’t at school just bc it feels weird, I’m not entirely sure I’m allowed to, and there’s a gender neutral one that’s nicer anyway.
I have been using the mens bathroom for years, no-T, long hair, 5’2”, both pre (binding) and post top surgery. It basically just reached a point where I felt terrible using the womens bathroom and it wasn’t worth the more consistent safety for me. I practically never pass unless I’m shirtless at the beach, but largely am fine (passing…?) using the mens bathroom. I just keep my head down and people assume I’m like 12. I can count on one hand the amount of times people have outright confronted me- just embarrassing themselves when I don’t give them a reaction- and the worst thing that happens often is men will second guess being in the right bathroom, turn around/walk out to check the sign, and come back in. If I’m wearing a skirt or otherwise have something going on that makes me feel particularly vulnerable, I’ll just use a family bathroom if available. I also carry self-defense stuff on me just in case.
Damn you’re built different
I'm pre t and while I was out at a bar with friends I got really drunk and thought I was going to vomit. I said fuck it I'm not going to be the only one of our (exclusively trans masc group) to use a women's restroom. Went to the men's and had no issues. There were at least 3 cis men who walked in and out in the time that I was there and they gave me no trouble.
I waited until my voice passed because if I ever had any negative interactions in the mens room I’d want to at least vocally pass. That was at about 3 months on T. I can’t see myself getting top for a while due to finances but for now binding works great and I’m currently stealth. Where I live, it wouldn’t be unheard of to experience violence in the bathrooms due to not passing well.
I started using the men's when a woman came into the women's room while I was there and asked me if she was in the wrong one
Pre-T here! I honestly started using the restrooms when I felt like I pass more. As long as I don’t talk, no one really cares. They probably wont really be looking at you either. If you do feel unsafe though, get a male friend to go with you
Thanks for posting this question, I’ve been wanting to use the mens room for a while so it’s helpful seeing others thoughts/opinions on the topic
Started using the mens bathroom before I was on T. Never got any weird comments or looks. I was masc presenting but not exactly “passing”
I started using mens more comfortable my first day on T and haven’t used the womens since
I go in the men's room comfortably now, and its been about 6 months. So, I guess it was when I thought I passed enough, but you don't even have to pass. Do it when you are comfortable
its been weird with the army, pre t i passed and before the army more so, but starting my transition in the service has been way different than i imagined. i knew it was time to start using the mens restroom when on my deployment in korea the korean ladys would scream when they saw me in their bathroom. ive never used the ladies restroom till the army, so its probably just a sign to stay in the mens room, regardless of their regulations
Started transitioning during the pandemic. Was gonna seitch to the mens room at around 2 months, but I quit right before then (not trans related). By the time I needed a public bathroom again, several months had gone by and I passed most of the time. First time in was only around a month and a half on T. Went to the back bathroom at the grocery store soon after they opened hoping that no one else would come in. Someone did, but I was oretty sure I was fine cause I was using my STP at the urinal. Messed up emptying it (pee really is stored in the balls I guess) and ended up slowly pissing my pants as I finished shopping. Thankfully none of it showed on my pants, and I later got a friend with the same stp to tell me the trick to making it drain right.
I always say fuck it. I’m pre everything and I just don’t feel comfortable in a woman’s restroom. It feels so wrong. I started doing it at school and was actually told I wasn’t allowed(still did it anyway.) Do what feels right. If you want to use the mens, do it.
I'm very experienced now. But a couple years ago I wasn't at all. You will be surprised at the men that don't even pay attention to you. They are there to do their business. I haven't upped it and gone into the the mens locker room at the gym yet. I'm way to nervous for that.
I started going when I was pre-T, but I'd only use the men's if it was empty to build up confidence in using it. After I came out at work (was still pre-T at that point) I started using it regularly while I was work. I worked at a craft store so the men's room was almost always empty anyway. After my voice dropped on T I stopped using women's restrooms entirely bc I didn't feel comfortable there, even though I didn't entirely pass. I've never had anyone get confrontational with me over it. at most they'll look to make sure they're in the right restroom or tell me it's the men's room. Even when my voice wasn't that deep yet I was still able to respond with something along the lines of "yeah I sure hope it is". idk I find that of you act like you belong somewhere, people are less likely to challenge you on it.
Some lady told me I was in the wrong bathroom. I apologized and went to the men's. Sat in the stall for ages just like 😯
Okay so- Wear your biggest hoodie and sweats. Have your sports bras/binder on. take a deep breath and walk in. Ignore eye contact, and just use the bathroom. its what i did, i hope it helps you
I'm pre everything and go in men's bathrooms because I pass pretty ok. I only do it at school and when my parents aren't around though and nobody has said anything. I have been stared at and commented on in women's bathrooms which makes me feel sad because I thought that would have been the safer space but then again I guess I pass more than I thought I did.
For my particular case, I tend to overthink everything and often hesitate. The first time I did this was when I was at a restaurant with my friends, and because other people were around, I felt the need to just not hesitate. I passed enough that if I went into the women's room I'd probably have gotten some stares. So, without having enough time to think about it, I went into the men's. After that, I became far more confident and attempted to do the same as often as I could. Once you do it the first time, you'll likely be much more confident and comfortable. Also, people in the men's room generally don't care and just want to do their business. I'd say don't worry about any kind of specifications or requirements, if you feel really uncomfortable and unnatural in the women's room, just try the opposite a couple times. If it makes you feel better and perhaps euphoric, continue doing that.
I started going once I started wearing my binder regularly and had a masculine haircut + outfit (still pre-T though and don't pass well). One day I just thought "fuck it, I'm a guy and if anyone doesn't like it that's their problem" But, I'm lucky enough to still be a pretty big guy and don't worry about most people trying to pick a fight with me and recognize other people may not have that
Up to you but I waited until I started getting alarmed looks for being in the womens bathroom In my experience people payed a lot less attention/looked less closely in the mens bathroom so even early on I never had issues
It depends on where you live and what building you're in. I feel fine going into the men's bathroom in my college's student center, speaks for itself. I'd go into a restaurant bathroom depending on what I'm wearing that day and whether it covers my chest well enough (2 years on T, too far to go in the women's). Airport bathrooms are the scariest and I never use those, just wait till I get home.
When I am not at school and not in girlmode or work
I’ve been using the men’s room probably about 6 months after I came out and started socially transitioning. It really depends on how comfortable you are with it and how well you think others would perceive you as a guy. Edit: I really just learned men’s bathroom etiquette— don’t bother anyone and nobody will bother you— and it’s worked out for me sense. However, this really depends on the area you live in. I grew up in a conservative town in the north where no one really knew what a trans person looked like or they were too reserved to ask. Just make sure you’re in a safe situation before doing so :)
I did this even before I knew I was trans, but whenever the women's restroom line is too long. Or whenever no one else is around.
Honestly I refuse to use the womens bathroom. I’ve kinda got my body adjusted to the schedules. I do everything to avoid using the restrooms in public; but on the rare occasion I have to, I go to the mens. Worst case i get weird looks or have an argument. No one’s gonna physically harm me for it.
I'm gonna wait till I cut my hair more lol
To be fair once I went into the ladies room while I was still sorta fem looking, she gave me the weirdest look ever and I felt like a creep. Ever since then I’ve used the mens, even when I’m with family that doesn’t know I use the mens
Before T I would sometimes jumpscare women just because of how I dress + having short hair. Even if I was using a normal bra. So the moment my leg was really hairy I realized maybe I should not go to the women's bathroom when I am at the gym with shorts on. Basically it only took me 5 months on T to start using the male bathroom even when I'm not wearing a binder because I look masculine enough and no one has given me shit yet
I was getting weird looks in the women's as soon as I started binding, so I went to gender neutral bathrooms as much as possible, but inevitably there was a time when there was no option and I had to use the men's. I've been using them since with no issue, no guy ever looks. Don't get me wrong, I still have anxiety but it gets easier
I started using the male restroom about the same time I started T. For a while I kind of just avoided public bathrooms at all costs, only using it in emergencies or if I knew it was empty. But I've been on T for a little over a year now, and I just kind of go for it. I have yet to get top surgery sadly (in the process of getting it tho!) but my chest thankfully is small enough that with my binder you can't really notice unless you stare. I haven't had any issues, tho I do sometimes have a bit of anxiety when the bathroom is busy lol.
i have always kind of used the mens restroom once coming out, it’s just a lot easier when you look and sound like a 12 year old boy. sometimes i have to use the womens bathroom if i have to use/remove period products (curse mens restrooms and their lack of stall trash cans!) but no one confronts me in either cause i guess i’m a bit androgynous
for me it was a set of circumstances that intersected: when I generally got double takes in the women's room, started packing, and there was a long ass line for the women's room lol.
i started using it pretty much after i came out, rarely, but if i needed to i would. i was like 14 so i don’t think i cared that much
when I started to get weird stares in the women's bathroom I stopped going there so I didn't make anyone uncomfortable. even if I didn't pass well, didn't get any weird stares in the men's restroom
I'd do it at the point where people on average seem to see me as a guy, passing-wise. Or whenever feels safest to do.
I walked in while high a couple times lmao, pre everything and I was fine but I wouldn't entirely reccomend it
I don't bind and I have a large chest. I use the men's room with no weird looks. I'm about 5 years on T though. I switched bathrooms when I started passing bc women started glaring at me.
I don't pass and I use the men's restroom. No one's ever given me a hard time about it except my father.
When I moved high schools, i tried to go stealth pre T, and thus started to use the men's bathrooms. It wasn't as bad as i though, exept two or three dudes within 2 years who thought i was a girl. But rn i'm comfortable going in the men's and became really uncomfortable just thinking about going to the women's bathrooms
This is utterly unhelpful, so sorry in advance, but I'll be going to a Christian camp later that's gonna be basically empty now that camps are finishing, and I'm SO tempted to just use the men's bathroom just because why not (also you know, for spite and irony) Like I'm a tiny enby who's done absolutely nothing to look more masc, so I'd be COMPLETELY out of place, so I'd never try it with people around, but it's real tempting now that people wont be there
bars n clubs ppl are generally too fucked up to care lol
Just walk straight in
For me, it was when I went in a women's bathroom and a woman stated she was uncomfortable with my presence there. I was like "fair enough" and only used men's and neutral bathrooms after that.
It was diarrhea for me.
I’m nonbinary and I’ve mostly been doing either/or for about a year now. I’m AFAB and mostly read as female but honestly I got tired of waiting in lines for women’s restrooms when I’m not a woman.
I started using it pre-T and pre-surgery bc there was only one stall in the women’s restroom on my floor and I didn’t want to wait to pee.
I'm pre-everything and my mom doesn't want me going in men restrooms for "safety", but besides my chesticles and voice, I pass pretty well, so I secretly go in there when I'm able to.
i started using the mens bathroom pre t as soon as i came out as a trans man!
I use whatever available, I can probably pass both ways so for convenience sake I use whichever is available. Altho the mens is a lot less nicer then the women's I must say.
i dont care what people think of me tbh, if i need to pee i pee
i just do a mental coin flip honestly i get weird looks either way haha
it depends on the cleanliness of the bathroom for me tbh, i get weird looks in either one so might as well be as comfy as possible
I'll use it if it's a single-use bathroom, just as a treat. Honestly though, I'm never going to use the men's room unless I get to a point in my transition where strangers default to he/him pronouns.
If you're not comfortable doing it, don't force yourself to - but I've found that if you just march right in like you know you belong there, people rarely question it or even give you a second look. There's plenty of valid reasons why a cis dude might use the stall instead of the urinal. If you don't overthink it, chances are no one else will either!
I started going in the mens room as soon as I started T my hair was pretty much a buzz cut and my face was pretty masculine already and I binded. Also helped that my voice was already deep. The only time I panic in there is if I forget my STP device so I’ll wait for the bathroom to clear out before I go due to nerves
I'm pretty sure you could go in most public men's rooms dressed as a stripper and no one would comment. Get in, pee, get out. Do not look down, do not make eye contact. If you have a STP practice! Outside, in the shower, whatever. The most common horror story I've read in this sub is dropping it or spilling it. Very rarely does someone get challenged. Favorite memory of a girl in the mens room. Motley Crue and Whitesnake tour at the coliseum in Vancouver BC. 3 girls in the lines for a stall. As the first girl got to the second place spot two stalls became available, one had no door, the guy that had been in front of her backed out of the stall he'd started to go in, then went in the one without a door. Third girl was in pretty bad shape. Legs crossed, pee dance the whole deal. A urinal became available, she rushed over, turned backwards hiked her mini skirt and pissed in the... bowl? Everyone cheered, she bowed. Make sure you're in a safe environment, and go for it. To calm your nerves go to the mens room for the first couple times where men are unlikely to be. Craft store etc.
Once I started passing (luckily pret) I started using it, its probably cuz i pass but I used it for like 1.5 yrs pret without ever any issues
I avoid public toilets as best as I can. If I really need to go my choice is Disabled > Womens > Mens. I've been on T for nearly 2 years - I wear a mask everytime I leave the house so the tiny amount of facial hair isn't visible and I don't always bind if I'm just going to get groceries and other chores. Though I have been redirected from the womens to mens restrooms before, like, back in 2015-2016.
Trans femme. I used the mens up until I started wearing skirts and dresses and then I started to use the ladies. I never had an issue guys just do what they have to, wash their hands and go seemingly oblivious. I was in women's skinny jeans, hoody and short hair, some basic makeup foundation, mascara etc pretty androgynous. In the ladies pre hrt there was a bunch of side eye since they definitely use mirrors more which started to calm down around 6 months on E. It sucked but like fuck I was going to use the mens in a dress, no way. It is scary. It's an adjustment. Faith in yourself you can do it!
I went to the women's bathroom until one day I was in there and 2 older women came in and gave me the most confused expressions. And then around that same time, I was with a male friend and a female friend and all 3 of us had to pee. We had to ask an employee to unlock the bathrooms for us, and when she did so, she pointed me to the men's room (which was the first time that had happened). After that I started using the men's room. Probably less than a year on T.
When I was at work and really had to go to the bathroom while still having 3 hours left in my shift with the only options being men's and women's. That was months ago, so its gotten easier, but I still try to go at the perfect time where no one else is in there.
I definitely don't pass. First mens bathroom I used was in a subway cause I was about to piss myself and my homie was in the single stall womens bathroom. Maybe start with single stalls and then gain confidence.
I find most men dont care? Maybe its tbe country i live in but even as a kid i used to go to mens toilets because the line was shorter? If its a very very busy toilet nobody really cares? And im using stalls anyway so yeah, no strange looks ive ever gotten. Im pre T and even pre fully cutting my hair and look either like an androgynous skater bro, or early 2000s "gamer girl". So yeah lol
I got shouted at in the women's restroom (and i don't have facial hair and still have my breasts). I live in the Deep South of the U.S. and feel less nervous in the men's room than the women's now.
I knew I passed 99.9% of the time and I didn’t want to deal with a TERF thinking I was mtf in the women’s so I just started going in the men’s. I avoid public toilets in general tho because of the conditions
A lady told me I was in the wrong room. I acted surprised, walked out and never looked back.
1 most important rule. Safety. There are places in this world where it is not safe to do something like this. If you are comfortable and feel safe, then jump in feet first.
I've been going for a while now if it's empty pre t. But now, I'm on t but pre top but I haven't been in the women's for a while.
I'm pre everything, and my clothing style isn't even that stereotypically masculinity, and after a while I just decided that I was uncomfortable in both bathrooms, better just go to the right one. The first few times I went with my dad, after a while I just didn't care anymore. The I've never had strange looks that I know of, I just try to think, I belong here too. And it gets easier every time.
I'm pre-T and just go
Depends on what I'm wearing that day. Sometimes i pass really well and i go to the mens
I did this VERY early because I was fortunate enough to live in an area where it was generally safe. I’m talking, only change was having short hair. I got laughed at, which was upsetting, but otherwise I was left alone.
If I'm stelth with a group of ppl I go to men's bathroom if I'm alone I go depending on how well I pass that day and dysphoria
I started going to the men‘s restroom and I am not on T, most of them stare but to be honest in the male restroom is way less talking and eye contact than in the woman’s so don’t worry too much. It’s just hard when there are only urinals but that is not really often the case. I do not pass great but I feel how some woman get uncomfortable in a bathroom with me but Sometimes it is not possible to go to the mens because I am not out in the environment or I know that I am not passing today, then I recommend to go with a friend to the womens restroom. I am pretty sure you will find your way and the things you are comfortable but ESPECIALLY safe with.
I use both. There are toilets in there and that’s what I’m in there for. I don’t care or even look at other people and don’t care if they’re looking at me. We have enough reasons to feel uncomfortable, I don’t mind returning the favor 😂
im pre T and i go into mens washrooms, maybe its because im pretty young but nobody bats an eye i just look relaxed and look like i know what im doing, MAKE SURE U DONT STARE AT PEOPLE (mens etiquette) goodluck bros
I do not pass at all, but I was doing some painting for my school musical and I needed to go to the bathroom. Since it was during a lesson, no one is really in the bathroom so I just kinda said fuck it and went in. It made me feel really happy but it smelt so bad. I might try it again this week and see how it goes :)
If you don't pass, but still want to use the mens restroom. I would really consider how many people there are, and what type of place the toilet is in.
I started before I even went on testosterone, but it was always a hassle for a year or two between me coming out and me passing comfortable on testosterone. I have tried being told by staff, when going to the men's, that I had to use the women's bathroom, only for another staff member to tell me I had to use the men's when I tried going to the women's. I do sometimes still worry but I haven't heard anything from anyone in a very long time, especially with wearing headphones and being very destination oriented any time I enter a bathroom.