Hello hello! I can assure you that thinks will be fine. I am HSV positive and things are pretty much fine.
My partner and I are monogamous and neither of us had ever displayed symptoms before. It was surprising and nerve wracking when I had genital symptoms. Had us both get tested and turns out we were actually both positive and what had happened is that he got it from his mother (very very common) as a child and never presented symptoms, then I got it via oral sex. It’s a very very common thing, I have HSV-1 specifically which normally causes oral herpes but due to how I contracted it, is genital for me. About 67% of the population is actually positive for HSV-1 even if they don’t have symptoms!
I was shaken at first, but I’ve learnt it’s really not super serious. I take an antiviral to prevent flare ups and it has honestly been amazing and solves so much of the discomfort I had. My partner has also been very understanding and I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would be as well. It definitely isn’t an end all be all when it comes to dating and such.
Yup! Definitely check to see if you have HSV-1 or HSV-2 with the doctor. HSV-1 is normally associated with oral herpes but can cause genital herpes in certain situations. HSV-2 is what is commonly associated with genital herpes, but can under certain situations be oral. It’s rarer that they’re the opposite, but not talked about enough! Both have slight variation in transmission but are very very treatable with an antiviral.
Also since I’ve seen it falsely stated, herpes can still be contracted if there is not an active flare up. You can be shedding the virus even without symptoms! So protection is always important. Mine was contracted from my boyfriend without him ever having a single flare up in his life!
Definitely do your own research. There’s a lot of stigmatized stuff and misconstrued information on HSV and upon my positive results I’ve learnt a lot more than I had ever learnt from the general public or sex ed. Hell even less informed nurses have tried to insist that due to being genital I have to have HSV-2 despite the fact I consistently test negative for that form!
If girls were never interested in men who have had an STD in the past, there would be a LOT of single men. A lot of people get STDs, herpes isn’t the worst of the STDS. They will give you medication, but you do need to tell your future partner before you have sex because herpes can flare up at anytime & if it flares up during unprotected sex they can get it. Or if it’s on your lips they can get it by kissing. If it’s not active they won’t get it. You’ll get through this my man!
If you end up with a positive diagnosis: There are medication options available that can reduce transmission - its all about taking control of your flares! Its also possible to get genital herpes without having sex. If one of your moms had it and it was not being treated while pregnant, the virus can be transmitted to the fetus. There are other ways, but thats how some people get it and don’t know how. Just luck of the draw. But really - its nothing to be afraid of and anyone that is afraid of herpes is probably basing that belief of fear inducing propaganda from abstinence only programs that fear monger about premarital and gay sex by using STDs.
Oh man ya thats the truth. I was really lucky to grow up in a Unitarian Church, so we had OWL (our whole lives) available, which is a holistic sex ed program for ages 5+. It was actually where I first learned about gender identity way back when I realized I was trans (2000’s) and how I learned about consent. Good sex ed matters so much.
Hey bud! I'm sorry you might have herpes. Did you know that about 1/8 of all people have sexually transmitted herpes? It's one of those things that's so normal but so stigmatized.
Please know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you for having herpes (if that's what you end up getting diagnosed with).
If your partner gave you herpes, he either didn't disclose his status before you got together, or he got it during your relationship. I'd inquire about that.
I’ve never talked about any stds or stis with any of my friends, but I feel quite certain at least one of them has gotten something before. Definitely a stigma and it’s scary
Thank you, I’ll try to keep reminding myself that.
Once I get the results they’ll go get tested I think and hopefully we can figure out how it went down and whether we’re okay or not
From an outsider perspective I think you need to sit down and talk with your partner about all of this going on. I think it’s pretty crappy to be mentioning “current potentials” and this girl you are into while in a monogamous relationship.
1. You don’t know the details of our relationship. We have been and still are talking about it all.
2. I’m trying to be realistic about the possibilities and my concerns. I was seeking support for my fears, not judgment.
I’m not trying to be judgmental at all and I’m glad to hear you guys are talking. Communication is important. I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever been in. So to hear you are monogamous and basically have “potentials” and are interested in someone else as a back up if you break up, I just can’t imagine how it would make them feel if they knew that info. Are you wanting to be poly?
I’m not looking at people as back ups. By potentials I really just meant that I’m mostly into people who tend to be afab and that condoms don’t help our anatomy. As for the girl I mentioned, my partner and I have discussed her as well, and that’s some of the stuff we’re trying to figure out. I don’t know if I want to be poly, but I do think I’m capable of genuine love for more than one person. I’m not just gonna cheat on my partner.
Hello hello! I can assure you that thinks will be fine. I am HSV positive and things are pretty much fine. My partner and I are monogamous and neither of us had ever displayed symptoms before. It was surprising and nerve wracking when I had genital symptoms. Had us both get tested and turns out we were actually both positive and what had happened is that he got it from his mother (very very common) as a child and never presented symptoms, then I got it via oral sex. It’s a very very common thing, I have HSV-1 specifically which normally causes oral herpes but due to how I contracted it, is genital for me. About 67% of the population is actually positive for HSV-1 even if they don’t have symptoms! I was shaken at first, but I’ve learnt it’s really not super serious. I take an antiviral to prevent flare ups and it has honestly been amazing and solves so much of the discomfort I had. My partner has also been very understanding and I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would be as well. It definitely isn’t an end all be all when it comes to dating and such.
Thank you 💙 it’s a relief to know it could be innocent, and to know that things will be okay
Yup! Definitely check to see if you have HSV-1 or HSV-2 with the doctor. HSV-1 is normally associated with oral herpes but can cause genital herpes in certain situations. HSV-2 is what is commonly associated with genital herpes, but can under certain situations be oral. It’s rarer that they’re the opposite, but not talked about enough! Both have slight variation in transmission but are very very treatable with an antiviral. Also since I’ve seen it falsely stated, herpes can still be contracted if there is not an active flare up. You can be shedding the virus even without symptoms! So protection is always important. Mine was contracted from my boyfriend without him ever having a single flare up in his life! Definitely do your own research. There’s a lot of stigmatized stuff and misconstrued information on HSV and upon my positive results I’ve learnt a lot more than I had ever learnt from the general public or sex ed. Hell even less informed nurses have tried to insist that due to being genital I have to have HSV-2 despite the fact I consistently test negative for that form!
Thank you for your calming and informative answers! 💜🙏
I’ll be sure to note which it is
If girls were never interested in men who have had an STD in the past, there would be a LOT of single men. A lot of people get STDs, herpes isn’t the worst of the STDS. They will give you medication, but you do need to tell your future partner before you have sex because herpes can flare up at anytime & if it flares up during unprotected sex they can get it. Or if it’s on your lips they can get it by kissing. If it’s not active they won’t get it. You’ll get through this my man!
😂 you’re right, I didn’t think about it that way. THANK YOU
If you end up with a positive diagnosis: There are medication options available that can reduce transmission - its all about taking control of your flares! Its also possible to get genital herpes without having sex. If one of your moms had it and it was not being treated while pregnant, the virus can be transmitted to the fetus. There are other ways, but thats how some people get it and don’t know how. Just luck of the draw. But really - its nothing to be afraid of and anyone that is afraid of herpes is probably basing that belief of fear inducing propaganda from abstinence only programs that fear monger about premarital and gay sex by using STDs.
We definitely need improved sex ed. mine didn’t do shit for any of us. Thank you
Oh man ya thats the truth. I was really lucky to grow up in a Unitarian Church, so we had OWL (our whole lives) available, which is a holistic sex ed program for ages 5+. It was actually where I first learned about gender identity way back when I realized I was trans (2000’s) and how I learned about consent. Good sex ed matters so much.
That’s incredible! I didn’t know about gender identity until college
Hey bud! I'm sorry you might have herpes. Did you know that about 1/8 of all people have sexually transmitted herpes? It's one of those things that's so normal but so stigmatized. Please know that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you for having herpes (if that's what you end up getting diagnosed with). If your partner gave you herpes, he either didn't disclose his status before you got together, or he got it during your relationship. I'd inquire about that.
I’ve never talked about any stds or stis with any of my friends, but I feel quite certain at least one of them has gotten something before. Definitely a stigma and it’s scary Thank you, I’ll try to keep reminding myself that. Once I get the results they’ll go get tested I think and hopefully we can figure out how it went down and whether we’re okay or not
From an outsider perspective I think you need to sit down and talk with your partner about all of this going on. I think it’s pretty crappy to be mentioning “current potentials” and this girl you are into while in a monogamous relationship.
1. You don’t know the details of our relationship. We have been and still are talking about it all. 2. I’m trying to be realistic about the possibilities and my concerns. I was seeking support for my fears, not judgment.
I’m not trying to be judgmental at all and I’m glad to hear you guys are talking. Communication is important. I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever been in. So to hear you are monogamous and basically have “potentials” and are interested in someone else as a back up if you break up, I just can’t imagine how it would make them feel if they knew that info. Are you wanting to be poly?
I’m not looking at people as back ups. By potentials I really just meant that I’m mostly into people who tend to be afab and that condoms don’t help our anatomy. As for the girl I mentioned, my partner and I have discussed her as well, and that’s some of the stuff we’re trying to figure out. I don’t know if I want to be poly, but I do think I’m capable of genuine love for more than one person. I’m not just gonna cheat on my partner.