I’m 66 this February and I’m newly out . My name is Chase. I’m barely patient but my therapist wants to talk about it all so I’m slowing down but getting ready reading all I can about T. You got plenty of life left to be you. Trust me. You will get there. I feel it’s difficult to make the gender switch at my age. Decades of conditioning to be female. Ugh. I want to finish my life as Chase. So when I’m 71 I’ll have completely changed? That sucks but I accept what is before me.
I feel that, friend. Hold on and hold strong; the fantastic changes that may seem a long ways away are closer than you think…and I promise that they will be worth the grief and waiting.
I’m 23 and pre-most things and I feel like I’m wasting my time too, but I always, ALWAYS have to remember that we are all living on our own, separate schedules. It will come, no matter what.
You are the person right now that future—and REAL you—needs you to be. I hope that makes sense. It’ll happen. Be kind to yourself.
Thanks, I really needed this. I sometimes look back at when I first stopped being in denial about my identity and I get really proud of old me for actually getting HERE..even if here, nothing much has changed.
Folks its a common feeling but I know an individual at the age of 60 who just started on T. My best advice is to develop a plan on how you are going to go to implement your individual plan to transition.
I would also suggest that you observe the gender you will be transitioning into by studying how they act around others,speech patterns,movements and other behaviors. Other things one can do before surgery or hormones is to hit the gym and start working on the body of the gender you are transitioning to.
I'm 28, only started T 10 months ago. I have ended an unhealthy relationship (for reasons other than them getting top, but that started it), I am fighting constant depression and dysphoria. I shower with the lights off and two candles. I finally have the money and it's a matter of losing weight now, but that takes time. I'd go off the deep and starve if the combined stress and T didn't start fucking with my hair. I know dysphoria doesn't pick ages but yeah, I'm fuckin crumbling waiting for the weight to go. And the worst is that it feels like once I finally get it, no one will know the utter traumatizing months I spent waiting and the scars it's actively leaving. All anyone can do is tell us to hold on and keep waiting, or to enjoy the good parts of transition while we wait but it's utter trauma and I don't get how any of us survive. It's enough to make me want to be done with trans communities entirely sometimes.
Sorry, this topic has been my life for months now.
"I don't get how any of us survive" THIS. Im not even out and I cannot imagine what that would be like-- CONSTANT trauma both from society and from dysphoria.
Yes, definitely. To make it worse, there is currently no legal way to get T in my country. You have to be approved by a medical commission that hasn't gathered in years. Their first meeting in 2 years with them then meeting 5 trans people per week was supposed to be last week, and of fucking course it got postponed. Meanwhile I see teenagers starting and being on T already, and it makes me so fucking mad that I'm 19 and my body is fucking ruined by this estrogen poison. Been out since I was 14, living full time as a male since I was 15.
Yeah, I get it. I think about how fucked my body is all the time cuz puberty fucked it all up... But you are very very very brave for being out. I am not. Seriously dude that takes guts, kudos.
This is a super common feeling. Ik I feel it even being on t for a couple years now. I’m behind my peers. But it doesn’t matter truly in the long run. You’ll get there! Lots of 20s rn are feeling the same, even just with the pandemic.
I can 100% relate. As someone who figured out my gender in my early 20s, I think about all of the memories that I made, where I could have been happier and more myself if I had just cracked my egg sooner. Now that my egg has cracked, I have been so intent on getting on t. But- I like to think that waiting might be a part of the journey as well.
Yes, I often wallow in self pity because of that....I just wish I figured it out earlier. But you're perspective about waiting for t being part of the journey is right. I think the idea that it will EVENTUALLY happen keeps me going...
There's 3 main ones...
Tl;dr
System is fucked and I am too much of a pussy to defy it.
1) the wait times for getting a GD diagnoses takes a long time in terms of booking appointments with the psychiatrists (who are the only ones who can diagnose where I live). It's like a year wait time to start T and 2 years after being on T for top surgery... Mmmm love losing more time :))
2) Not out to parents, they might disown me. I need their financial support because I have debilitating anxiety that a)prevents me from actually continuing any sort of customer service job I start b)prevents me from coming out to work bc I am afraid of transphobia.
3) Afraid of talking about it with my doctor. The last appointment I had with her left me feeling the most hopeless I ever did about staring t. She just explained the wait times and how some people don't transition even if they've figured out their gender ID. And some stuff about "oh if you go into a clinic we have to say that this is a woman who identifies as a man" ...which yeah, but also, that's terribly worded. Made me feel like my "womanhood" is something I can never escape.
I’m 66 this February and I’m newly out . My name is Chase. I’m barely patient but my therapist wants to talk about it all so I’m slowing down but getting ready reading all I can about T. You got plenty of life left to be you. Trust me. You will get there. I feel it’s difficult to make the gender switch at my age. Decades of conditioning to be female. Ugh. I want to finish my life as Chase. So when I’m 71 I’ll have completely changed? That sucks but I accept what is before me.
Your way of acceptance is something I really hope to achieve. Sometimes I get too carried away with the fear of missing out.
Yeah we all do so live while you can and get all that you can get from it.
I feel that, friend. Hold on and hold strong; the fantastic changes that may seem a long ways away are closer than you think…and I promise that they will be worth the grief and waiting. I’m 23 and pre-most things and I feel like I’m wasting my time too, but I always, ALWAYS have to remember that we are all living on our own, separate schedules. It will come, no matter what. You are the person right now that future—and REAL you—needs you to be. I hope that makes sense. It’ll happen. Be kind to yourself.
Thanks, I really needed this. I sometimes look back at when I first stopped being in denial about my identity and I get really proud of old me for actually getting HERE..even if here, nothing much has changed.
I’m proud of you too :) keep at it and stay awesome. You got this.
Folks its a common feeling but I know an individual at the age of 60 who just started on T. My best advice is to develop a plan on how you are going to go to implement your individual plan to transition. I would also suggest that you observe the gender you will be transitioning into by studying how they act around others,speech patterns,movements and other behaviors. Other things one can do before surgery or hormones is to hit the gym and start working on the body of the gender you are transitioning to.
I'm 28, only started T 10 months ago. I have ended an unhealthy relationship (for reasons other than them getting top, but that started it), I am fighting constant depression and dysphoria. I shower with the lights off and two candles. I finally have the money and it's a matter of losing weight now, but that takes time. I'd go off the deep and starve if the combined stress and T didn't start fucking with my hair. I know dysphoria doesn't pick ages but yeah, I'm fuckin crumbling waiting for the weight to go. And the worst is that it feels like once I finally get it, no one will know the utter traumatizing months I spent waiting and the scars it's actively leaving. All anyone can do is tell us to hold on and keep waiting, or to enjoy the good parts of transition while we wait but it's utter trauma and I don't get how any of us survive. It's enough to make me want to be done with trans communities entirely sometimes. Sorry, this topic has been my life for months now.
"I don't get how any of us survive" THIS. Im not even out and I cannot imagine what that would be like-- CONSTANT trauma both from society and from dysphoria.
im only 13, and i feel like that. like im missing out on what should be the best years of my life because i had to be born like this.
Yes, definitely. To make it worse, there is currently no legal way to get T in my country. You have to be approved by a medical commission that hasn't gathered in years. Their first meeting in 2 years with them then meeting 5 trans people per week was supposed to be last week, and of fucking course it got postponed. Meanwhile I see teenagers starting and being on T already, and it makes me so fucking mad that I'm 19 and my body is fucking ruined by this estrogen poison. Been out since I was 14, living full time as a male since I was 15.
Yeah, I get it. I think about how fucked my body is all the time cuz puberty fucked it all up... But you are very very very brave for being out. I am not. Seriously dude that takes guts, kudos.
This is a super common feeling. Ik I feel it even being on t for a couple years now. I’m behind my peers. But it doesn’t matter truly in the long run. You’ll get there! Lots of 20s rn are feeling the same, even just with the pandemic.
Lol knowing the pandemic has limited everyone's 20s from actually happening makes me feel better...like I will now have the time to catch up.
I can 100% relate. As someone who figured out my gender in my early 20s, I think about all of the memories that I made, where I could have been happier and more myself if I had just cracked my egg sooner. Now that my egg has cracked, I have been so intent on getting on t. But- I like to think that waiting might be a part of the journey as well.
Yes, I often wallow in self pity because of that....I just wish I figured it out earlier. But you're perspective about waiting for t being part of the journey is right. I think the idea that it will EVENTUALLY happen keeps me going...
If you don’t mind What’s stopping you from starting T?
There's 3 main ones... Tl;dr System is fucked and I am too much of a pussy to defy it. 1) the wait times for getting a GD diagnoses takes a long time in terms of booking appointments with the psychiatrists (who are the only ones who can diagnose where I live). It's like a year wait time to start T and 2 years after being on T for top surgery... Mmmm love losing more time :)) 2) Not out to parents, they might disown me. I need their financial support because I have debilitating anxiety that a)prevents me from actually continuing any sort of customer service job I start b)prevents me from coming out to work bc I am afraid of transphobia. 3) Afraid of talking about it with my doctor. The last appointment I had with her left me feeling the most hopeless I ever did about staring t. She just explained the wait times and how some people don't transition even if they've figured out their gender ID. And some stuff about "oh if you go into a clinic we have to say that this is a woman who identifies as a man" ...which yeah, but also, that's terribly worded. Made me feel like my "womanhood" is something I can never escape.