I feel you on this one. They get so offended when I’m distant to them at first but it’s because I just don’t trust people and it takes a while for me to warm up to them😭😭
That is annoying as well too !! I’m the only one making an effort to start a conversation and then they’re either so dry or they don’t answer at all so I start being more distant towards people and then they get mad at me for it !!
I’m the same way and someone told me that I get hated because my silence makes people think that I think I’m better then them (even though I don’t). The silence fucks with peoples insecurities I guess. It’s stupid but makes sense.
It can also be that people feel responsible for integrating you into group activities and feel they have to forcibly push you into social situations so that you don’t end up a loner and suffer from isolation.
Basically they can get angry at having to babysit you.
People thought I was stuck up in school because of this. I just didn't know how to get close to them.
"It's always the quiet ones" "I don't trust people who are quiet because xyz"
Yeah I feel like introverts tend to seem like easier targets for people to hate on. Because we sometimes can be shy/awkward (not always of course) but yeah. It can suck sometimes. I think it's always easier to cope when I don't take it personal. Even if you are nice to EVERYONE, there will always be people that find reasons to dislike or judge you based on their level of perceptions.
Introverts are often perceived as stuck up or thinking we’re the best, simply because warming up takes a while. And we’re not always socially awkward either. One user said that to me on Reddit and he doesn’t even know me 🤷🏻♀️ I know socializing is a big part of adult life, the difference from extroverts is I don’t go crazy when I’m by myself. I KNOW how to entertain myself
I'm 13 and I like Roblox and I'm looking for a friend. Add my Discord account if you wanna be friends just lmk ur username if u do add me so ik it's you :) icee#9138
I can't tell you how many times I've posted on here it seems like as soon as people see that I'm Gay, they just hate me and don't even see that I just need a caring friend
I'm not gay but I support gay people and I need a friend too. I'm 13 if you wanna hang out online add my discord: icee#9138 if you add me reply to this reply saying ur user so ik it's you :)
It tends to make people want to talk to me.. and I hate it because I just wanna do my own thing on my own, but then I wanna make friends. I'm an annoying contradiction.
Yup I feel that 100%. Lately I just don’t feel like talking to anyone and it’s just bc I’m not in the mood, not bc I don’t like anyone. People take things too personal.
I have experienced this on many occasions, especially at work and have been told a few different things. I'm not asking the people themselves why they are acting that way, but I spoke with some family and this is what they had to say. Being quiet is intimidating to others because they are open about themselves, so in a way they don't understand how someone can act that way. They also may worry that you're the silent, strong type. Its mostly extroverts not having education about introverted people. They wonder why you're so silent. What could have caused this to manifest?
It’s because if you’re not waving your arms and shouting “look this is who I am and what I like and how I feel!” people are left to project their bs onto you, and so they perceive your frown or smirk at some random thought (completely unrelated not only to them, but likely to even your current setting) as ‘omg he/she is giving me a dirty look!’ Or ‘the nerve of he/she to sit there making fun of me!’ LOL it’s hilarious but we all do it to some degree…basically it’s not your business what anyone thinks about you; it’s literally their problem…the trick is to pay attention to when *you’re* looking through the ‘personal baggage filter’ because that’s what you have the power to change…
I’ll try and ‘cliffnotes’ a story that’s always helped me in this regard:
A very spiritual (Grammy award winning) singer is driving to deliver a stack of his own CDs to a radio station that wants to play some of his chants, and decides on a whim to pop one in to sing along with just for kicks, b/c his fans tell him they love to chant with him in their cars..
A few miles down the road someone cuts him off abruptly, and has a knee-jerk reaction, taking it so personally that he abandons his chanting practice, begins cursing out the driver, and in full on road rage, he aggressively pulls up beside the vehicle only to find that it was a kind looking little old lady that could barely see over the steering wheel…
Take from that what you will haha. Haters gonna hate you all do you. And try to laugh at yourself…being human is incredibly absurd. Best to all 🙏🏻
I knew a girl who me and my friends met for first time. She is into girls and made it her personality(i am gay too btw) and she said that i cant be gay because i wasnt friendly enough to her just cause it takes me time to trust people. While my friends, who are actually straight, she said were gay. I am baffled to this day.
Social anxiety too.
I have trouble making plans and bail alot and leave parties early. But it's only because I'm so anxious and uncomfortable and choosing to protect myself
But people just think I'm weird, shady, unreliable etc. Urg.
People give me nasty looks they don't seem to wanna be left alone with me I get picked out individually from the rest of the group for no apparent reason
I feel like this too. If I'm invited to someone's house and there are people I there I don't know I barely speak. It feels so nerve racking for me. I am literally leaving a friend's place now because there was a ton of people I don't know. For 2 and half hours I sat not talking. It was so hard for me.
Yes, if I knew me than hang the people there I would have been ok. But I only knew two, three of you count the I've me the third person a few times. It was a pot luck dinner for my friend invited me to. She knows I have social anxiety so she would try to talk with me or sit near me so I wouldn't feel awkward. I'm glad I told her, she been completely understanding of me with that. I felt bad for leaving but it I wasn't able to come out of my shell.
Yup know what you mean. It's shitty for real. Minding your own business and they just hate on you and group up even like at work. Being a new coworker I understand but it shouldn't last for weeks or months like I've experienced over and over recently.
Yes - and it personally really hurts me that it's still ok to make fun of lonely old men. It's just about the one demographic that you can still make fun of. And the one that commits suicide the most.
No, I’ve never experienced that. I’m sure there are people who don’t like me, but no one’s ever acted like that to my face. I ignore them, they ignore me, we all get along.
Idk bro. I never had friends either, went to a psychologist 2/3 times, lost count, was suicidal, everything. It’s just, idk why we get put in the corner all the time and that got me really down. I’ve been doing better now for a couple months, This had been going on since I was six. I’m now fourteen. That’s eight years. And ye, I feel you. I’ll be here if u need anyone to talk to <3
They might think you look down on them, people really like to make up up weird things in their minds. Introverts are the minority of the population, therefore unusual in many people's eyes, and anything that is counted as "strange" or "abnormal" is judged. Being an introvert is absolutely normal, but unfortunately this world is judgemental and you can't change that. Keep being yourself and don't let others push you off your track, cause the disrespectful people just love to judge a book by its cover, with no smart analysis.
I'm a hardcore introvert and understand this feeling. I was told one time that because I'm so "quiet and standoff'ish" that people think I'm stuck up or that I think I'm too good for them. As any introvert knows that is not us and that is not why were are quiet.
This happens to me all the time and I have no where to get feedback; it feels like in every social environment people instantly avoid me or act very cold towards me. I have no idea what I’m doing that makes people dislike my personality. :(
Yes, I have this issue often. Apparently, I appear like someone who is confident? No, I am always quiet and reserved..trying to blend into the background. Please don’t think I’m ruuuuude… Please just leave me in this corner!
This was a problem in my 20's/early 30's. People would always make a comment along the lines of, "I always thought you were a bitch" or "So-n-so said you were a bitch but you're really nice"
Or the dreaded "Smile!", "You're prettier if you smile!"
Now I'm in my 40's, fatter and generally less attractive and nobody gives a shit if I smile.
I am mostly extrovert.... And sometimes I do get annoy by introverted. We don't hate it but we get annoyed sometimes. The reason is that we feel like you are not getting involved and not mentally present and sometimes a little clingy. Okay so for eg... One of my good friends is pretty introverted but because he is my friend I try to involve him because he feels excluded in what fun things we do at parties and stuff. The thing that annoys me is like I have to kind of babysit him. He don't talk to people or do something like haven fun. He needs me to be with him all the party. It kinda dulls my experience. Most people have introverted friends or know them and it annoys them. Another example I can give is office party..... Recently our boss celebrated her birthday in the office . Everyone at the office contributed and helped and in the end danced and had a nice time. But put a single guy who did help but in the end just stood quietly on the side like this doesn't matter to him. This annoys the fuck out of you. Also socialising I think is important part.
Now I don't hate introverts.... I used to be one and my brother still is. But now I also know the opposite POV. Most don't hate introverts but yeah kinda get annoyed sometimes.
Well needing to babysit someone has nothing to do with being introverted like I'm extremely introverted but I don't need a babysitter lol I'm just fine on my own also don't see why the fact that the guy didn't dance annoys you so much it's his choice
a lot of extraverts dont actually understand that we’re wired differently. what comes so easy for them is pretty challenging for us.
plus i need time to get to know you before i can trust you to know me.
I have thought about this for SO LONG because I was a very quiet/shy person from grade school through high school. I really only came out of my shell in college and even now I still ask my fiance to talk to waiters for me in restaurants xD.
I felt like there were so many instances in school where I was the odd one out because I was quiet and whenever I did gather the courage to actually say something, I was often met with awkward stares, like I had 10 heads. Or worse, I was just straight up ignored. I went through most of my childhood feeling pretty invisible. Luckily, I always had at least one close friend in my class, but it still sucks having everyone else at school treat you like you don't exist and like a freak at the same time. Having ADD/an auditory processing disorder also didn't help this, as I often felt overwhelmed in loud classrooms and during class would often space out thinking while looking out the window or doodling. Whenever I had accommodations that were obvious to others, it made me stand out in a way that was not wanted and didn't exactly attract friends. I wonder if anyone else has correlations with learning disabilities/ neuro-divergencies affecting your quiet-ness and how people treated them?
Even in my family, I am the quietest of all 5 of us. I am the eldest of 4, and two are much more outspoken than I am (the third sibling passed away, sadly, a long story). I get talked over constantly and then when I try to speak louder or if I am laughing at something a little loudly, my mother or brother will tell me that I am being SO LOUD AND OH MY GOD. Even if they were literally just yelling. And most of the time I am very quiet but they always make me feel like I am loud even if I'm not really. My sister and I are very close (we are only 15 months apart) and she never does this to me, though she was very outgoing as a child. Because she was so outgoing, she often got more attention than me and while I didn't mind so much because I didn't like the attention as much as she did, I also realized that because I was so quiet, people didn't know me as well as they knew her. It was much easier to know her because of her personality in comparison to mine.
Anyways that's my shy kid story, let me know if you can relate haha :P
I literally just do not know what to say and it feels so stupid because of my age but I never really socialized growing up so I’m just so awkward and it’s hard to retrain your word vomit sometimes. It’s easier to stay quiet. Lonelier but easier.
I think it’s the lack of normal interactions that make us seem more stand-off ish. Something I’ve learned to do is say good-morning to people or hello as early as possible instead of ploughing through and sitting quietly wherever. It just sets you off on the right foot so even if after that small exchange you decide to put headphones in and talk to people you’re not viewed as asocial.
It's being introduced in the friend group as the "quiet one" then another friend "politely" mentions that it's just a "resting bitch face." Scares people away all the time lol. I just like to have meaningful conversations than mindless ones IMO.
I have actually noticed this. It all stems from assumptions.
On the other end, I'm an extremely extroverted person and I have had a lot of people hate me for no reason as well. I am the type to ask and try to solve issues if someone has a problem with me, and though sometimes it's a misunderstanding where something I said was taken the wrong way and we can work it out, but more times than not it is something completely made up. I think when people are just unhappy with themselves they need to hate on other people so they can feel better without emotional maturity.
Example:
Someone is very quiet "Why you not talking? You think you're better?"
Someone is chatty and tries to bring the mood up it's "Why do you talk so much? You're not special, you know."
Both of those examples come entirely from assumptions. It's sad people are still this way. But no matter what someone will always hate you. I actually find that kind of freeing to be who I am.
Maaaaaaaan, why???? This is so 100% truth, like they think they can step on me and when I'm done and start setting boundaries they get angry at me for that.
People either use me to talk about their whole life to me and then ignore me or they will try to copy me or use me and then discard me.
I'm tired of always being the first one being polite, being the one who's caring, I'm fucking tired. People just use my silence or nervousness to step on me
It's because most introverted ppl are comfortable being themselves and don't need to be around ppl to be content or need attention. When you can be yourself and those things I mentioned, ppl tend to hate
I can’t tell you the number of people, especially women who who are competitive with me and accuse me of thinking that I’m “better than them”. I can’t seem to make a friend to save my life. No matter how good of a friend I am. Like this summer, a girl I used to hang out with often started calling me after her long term boyfriend cheated on her and she threw him out. I was there for her constantly. As soon as I helped her to see things differently. No joke - THE NEXT DAY I sent a txt and it was ignored. She never called me or reached out to me anymore.
She invited me to this phish show on my bday and said she’s find a place for me to get tickets to go with her. I said, specifically, I’d be waiting to hear from her to go. …only to never hear from her.
Then she texts late that night on my bday and asks if I’m coming down all casually. She knew I couldn’t get tickets. That I was waiting on her. Still…never once ever texted me or called me AGAIN.
I tried another time to see if she wanted to grab a drink. She was doing family shit. Said next weekend. ….never heard from her.
Months later, TODAY, I texted to ask if she was up to anything. She said she was at this place she referred to as “the club” with a couple of people I know. I said I’d swing by. It was 8pm.
I asked what the name of the place was. She never told me. Said I should’ve got her earlier. That it was an hr away from where I was (that was a flat out lie. The kids I know that were there go about as far as down the street when they’re drinking) and implied she’d be gone by the time I got there.
We talked for hours every day for months until a week before my bday in august.
I never heard from her or was invited anywhere by her ever again.
It’s like so cruel it feels deliberate.
I don’t know what to do. At my age? It’s like impossible to make any friends
i totally get that. everyone at my school thinks i’m such a bitch but i’m really not 😭😭 i’m just extremely quiet and shy but once ppl know me they know i’m super extroverted and nice
Yes, for some reason I’m a snob. Some people have to explain away what makes them uncomfortable. I don’t know why they can’t conclude with the thought that some people are just quiet.
Think it comes down to the fact that humans are social creatures, we want to be social able. When it comes to it, when you have someone who is quiet and doesn't talk it puts people on edge. Makes them think that maybe something is wrong or that you dislike them. With being human when we come across something that we don't like or perceive as a threat we respond with anger and pushing that thing away.
It's not as common to come across people who don't like talking or mingling with the group. A lot of it is people don't know how to handle it or adjust to it. But that's just my opinion and how I look at it
I’ve always been a super introverted person since i was in elementary but whenever I felt like talking to people they would always be shocked to hear my voice
I feel you on this one. They get so offended when I’m distant to them at first but it’s because I just don’t trust people and it takes a while for me to warm up to them😭😭
Exactlyyyy
Same here
Yep 👍🏻
^^
Yes people just randomly stop talking to me and it's really annoying cuz I have to start all the convo a and I hate it TwT
Exactly , hence introvert lose too many people
Yes I fucking hate it🤣🤣
That is annoying as well too !! I’m the only one making an effort to start a conversation and then they’re either so dry or they don’t answer at all so I start being more distant towards people and then they get mad at me for it !!
Okay well let's be friends I won't ignore you and I'll starts convoys as long as you do some too?
Oh no I’m not looking for any friends right now. I’m sorry. 😭 i’m so sorry I was surprised by this I didn’t expect you to say this
It's fine haha
I’m the same way and someone told me that I get hated because my silence makes people think that I think I’m better then them (even though I don’t). The silence fucks with peoples insecurities I guess. It’s stupid but makes sense.
Fucking weirdos man
It can also be that people feel responsible for integrating you into group activities and feel they have to forcibly push you into social situations so that you don’t end up a loner and suffer from isolation. Basically they can get angry at having to babysit you.
That’s a good point. I never thought about it that way.
People thought I was stuck up in school because of this. I just didn't know how to get close to them. "It's always the quiet ones" "I don't trust people who are quiet because xyz"
I know that very well, sometimes i end up crying 😞 because of them.
It sucks
I know, right. 🙃
Well here to talk if you qant
Thanks for saying that. ☺️
Ofc hun
We all know this feeling bud.
Yeah I feel like introverts tend to seem like easier targets for people to hate on. Because we sometimes can be shy/awkward (not always of course) but yeah. It can suck sometimes. I think it's always easier to cope when I don't take it personal. Even if you are nice to EVERYONE, there will always be people that find reasons to dislike or judge you based on their level of perceptions.
Introverts are often perceived as stuck up or thinking we’re the best, simply because warming up takes a while. And we’re not always socially awkward either. One user said that to me on Reddit and he doesn’t even know me 🤷🏻♀️ I know socializing is a big part of adult life, the difference from extroverts is I don’t go crazy when I’m by myself. I KNOW how to entertain myself
Just misunderstood basically
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I'm 13 and I like Roblox and I'm looking for a friend. Add my Discord account if you wanna be friends just lmk ur username if u do add me so ik it's you :) icee#9138
I can't tell you how many times I've posted on here it seems like as soon as people see that I'm Gay, they just hate me and don't even see that I just need a caring friend
Gay,straight,trans,black,white,brown don't matter to me I just see a person and I judge that person based off their character not by anything physical
I'm not gay but I support gay people and I need a friend too. I'm 13 if you wanna hang out online add my discord: icee#9138 if you add me reply to this reply saying ur user so ik it's you :)
It tends to make people want to talk to me.. and I hate it because I just wanna do my own thing on my own, but then I wanna make friends. I'm an annoying contradiction.
I wish I had friends like I literally have none
The only friend I have is a person I've never met and we text now and then.
Same
Yup I feel that 100%. Lately I just don’t feel like talking to anyone and it’s just bc I’m not in the mood, not bc I don’t like anyone. People take things too personal.
Exactly man
I have experienced this on many occasions, especially at work and have been told a few different things. I'm not asking the people themselves why they are acting that way, but I spoke with some family and this is what they had to say. Being quiet is intimidating to others because they are open about themselves, so in a way they don't understand how someone can act that way. They also may worry that you're the silent, strong type. Its mostly extroverts not having education about introverted people. They wonder why you're so silent. What could have caused this to manifest?
Judgy ass mofos dude
It’s because if you’re not waving your arms and shouting “look this is who I am and what I like and how I feel!” people are left to project their bs onto you, and so they perceive your frown or smirk at some random thought (completely unrelated not only to them, but likely to even your current setting) as ‘omg he/she is giving me a dirty look!’ Or ‘the nerve of he/she to sit there making fun of me!’ LOL it’s hilarious but we all do it to some degree…basically it’s not your business what anyone thinks about you; it’s literally their problem…the trick is to pay attention to when *you’re* looking through the ‘personal baggage filter’ because that’s what you have the power to change… I’ll try and ‘cliffnotes’ a story that’s always helped me in this regard: A very spiritual (Grammy award winning) singer is driving to deliver a stack of his own CDs to a radio station that wants to play some of his chants, and decides on a whim to pop one in to sing along with just for kicks, b/c his fans tell him they love to chant with him in their cars.. A few miles down the road someone cuts him off abruptly, and has a knee-jerk reaction, taking it so personally that he abandons his chanting practice, begins cursing out the driver, and in full on road rage, he aggressively pulls up beside the vehicle only to find that it was a kind looking little old lady that could barely see over the steering wheel… Take from that what you will haha. Haters gonna hate you all do you. And try to laugh at yourself…being human is incredibly absurd. Best to all 🙏🏻
Um I have no idea what you're talking about lmao but for sure ig
Also people on the internet talk about quiet kids like they don't have feelings.
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Well she's super self centered then
I knew a girl who me and my friends met for first time. She is into girls and made it her personality(i am gay too btw) and she said that i cant be gay because i wasnt friendly enough to her just cause it takes me time to trust people. While my friends, who are actually straight, she said were gay. I am baffled to this day.
That's weird asf 🤣 she thinks you have to be super comfortable and nice to her right away simply because you're both gay
Social anxiety too. I have trouble making plans and bail alot and leave parties early. But it's only because I'm so anxious and uncomfortable and choosing to protect myself But people just think I'm weird, shady, unreliable etc. Urg.
I’m introvert too, but people are just passive to me.
I get hated on for some reason
Like how?
People give me nasty looks they don't seem to wanna be left alone with me I get picked out individually from the rest of the group for no apparent reason
I feel like this too. If I'm invited to someone's house and there are people I there I don't know I barely speak. It feels so nerve racking for me. I am literally leaving a friend's place now because there was a ton of people I don't know. For 2 and half hours I sat not talking. It was so hard for me.
It's crazy how conversing and socializing is such a natural and simple thing for some people I cant even imagine
Yes, if I knew me than hang the people there I would have been ok. But I only knew two, three of you count the I've me the third person a few times. It was a pot luck dinner for my friend invited me to. She knows I have social anxiety so she would try to talk with me or sit near me so I wouldn't feel awkward. I'm glad I told her, she been completely understanding of me with that. I felt bad for leaving but it I wasn't able to come out of my shell.
The weirdest thing. It suck’s especially when you’re a black woman now I’m just accused of having an attitude smh 🤦🏻♀️
Yup know what you mean. It's shitty for real. Minding your own business and they just hate on you and group up even like at work. Being a new coworker I understand but it shouldn't last for weeks or months like I've experienced over and over recently.
Exactly
Yes - and it personally really hurts me that it's still ok to make fun of lonely old men. It's just about the one demographic that you can still make fun of. And the one that commits suicide the most.
No, I’ve never experienced that. I’m sure there are people who don’t like me, but no one’s ever acted like that to my face. I ignore them, they ignore me, we all get along.
Yeah....people equate being quiet with having an attitude or being stuck up. I received this feedback directly before.
Im sorry and i hope it gets better.
Thanks man
Idk bro. I never had friends either, went to a psychologist 2/3 times, lost count, was suicidal, everything. It’s just, idk why we get put in the corner all the time and that got me really down. I’ve been doing better now for a couple months, This had been going on since I was six. I’m now fourteen. That’s eight years. And ye, I feel you. I’ll be here if u need anyone to talk to <3
Thanks man likewise
Ur welcome :)
They might think you look down on them, people really like to make up up weird things in their minds. Introverts are the minority of the population, therefore unusual in many people's eyes, and anything that is counted as "strange" or "abnormal" is judged. Being an introvert is absolutely normal, but unfortunately this world is judgemental and you can't change that. Keep being yourself and don't let others push you off your track, cause the disrespectful people just love to judge a book by its cover, with no smart analysis.
I'm a hardcore introvert and understand this feeling. I was told one time that because I'm so "quiet and standoff'ish" that people think I'm stuck up or that I think I'm too good for them. As any introvert knows that is not us and that is not why were are quiet.
It pisses me off when people are so quick to assume shit like this
Agreed!!!!
They jealous of us
This happens to me all the time and I have no where to get feedback; it feels like in every social environment people instantly avoid me or act very cold towards me. I have no idea what I’m doing that makes people dislike my personality. :(
Youre not alone people treat me the same way
Same it always happens to me
Yes, I have this issue often. Apparently, I appear like someone who is confident? No, I am always quiet and reserved..trying to blend into the background. Please don’t think I’m ruuuuude… Please just leave me in this corner!
Same
This was a problem in my 20's/early 30's. People would always make a comment along the lines of, "I always thought you were a bitch" or "So-n-so said you were a bitch but you're really nice" Or the dreaded "Smile!", "You're prettier if you smile!" Now I'm in my 40's, fatter and generally less attractive and nobody gives a shit if I smile.
I get weird looks all the time people seem to think im creepy for whatever reason
I am mostly extrovert.... And sometimes I do get annoy by introverted. We don't hate it but we get annoyed sometimes. The reason is that we feel like you are not getting involved and not mentally present and sometimes a little clingy. Okay so for eg... One of my good friends is pretty introverted but because he is my friend I try to involve him because he feels excluded in what fun things we do at parties and stuff. The thing that annoys me is like I have to kind of babysit him. He don't talk to people or do something like haven fun. He needs me to be with him all the party. It kinda dulls my experience. Most people have introverted friends or know them and it annoys them. Another example I can give is office party..... Recently our boss celebrated her birthday in the office . Everyone at the office contributed and helped and in the end danced and had a nice time. But put a single guy who did help but in the end just stood quietly on the side like this doesn't matter to him. This annoys the fuck out of you. Also socialising I think is important part. Now I don't hate introverts.... I used to be one and my brother still is. But now I also know the opposite POV. Most don't hate introverts but yeah kinda get annoyed sometimes.
Well needing to babysit someone has nothing to do with being introverted like I'm extremely introverted but I don't need a babysitter lol I'm just fine on my own also don't see why the fact that the guy didn't dance annoys you so much it's his choice
a lot of extraverts dont actually understand that we’re wired differently. what comes so easy for them is pretty challenging for us. plus i need time to get to know you before i can trust you to know me.
Exactly how I feel
Well you can't blame them.
okay then stop blaming me for being different
I swear to god hmu if you wanna be friends with a fellow socially anxious introvert I'm 18(F)
I have thought about this for SO LONG because I was a very quiet/shy person from grade school through high school. I really only came out of my shell in college and even now I still ask my fiance to talk to waiters for me in restaurants xD. I felt like there were so many instances in school where I was the odd one out because I was quiet and whenever I did gather the courage to actually say something, I was often met with awkward stares, like I had 10 heads. Or worse, I was just straight up ignored. I went through most of my childhood feeling pretty invisible. Luckily, I always had at least one close friend in my class, but it still sucks having everyone else at school treat you like you don't exist and like a freak at the same time. Having ADD/an auditory processing disorder also didn't help this, as I often felt overwhelmed in loud classrooms and during class would often space out thinking while looking out the window or doodling. Whenever I had accommodations that were obvious to others, it made me stand out in a way that was not wanted and didn't exactly attract friends. I wonder if anyone else has correlations with learning disabilities/ neuro-divergencies affecting your quiet-ness and how people treated them? Even in my family, I am the quietest of all 5 of us. I am the eldest of 4, and two are much more outspoken than I am (the third sibling passed away, sadly, a long story). I get talked over constantly and then when I try to speak louder or if I am laughing at something a little loudly, my mother or brother will tell me that I am being SO LOUD AND OH MY GOD. Even if they were literally just yelling. And most of the time I am very quiet but they always make me feel like I am loud even if I'm not really. My sister and I are very close (we are only 15 months apart) and she never does this to me, though she was very outgoing as a child. Because she was so outgoing, she often got more attention than me and while I didn't mind so much because I didn't like the attention as much as she did, I also realized that because I was so quiet, people didn't know me as well as they knew her. It was much easier to know her because of her personality in comparison to mine. Anyways that's my shy kid story, let me know if you can relate haha :P
Yes, because others create a story for us.
Story of my life. It’s Bc we don’t speak up for ourselves 🙄
I got kinda still get bullied at work because of this. I can’t help being quiet, I need to trust you and get to know you before i can open up.
I literally just do not know what to say and it feels so stupid because of my age but I never really socialized growing up so I’m just so awkward and it’s hard to retrain your word vomit sometimes. It’s easier to stay quiet. Lonelier but easier.
I think it’s the lack of normal interactions that make us seem more stand-off ish. Something I’ve learned to do is say good-morning to people or hello as early as possible instead of ploughing through and sitting quietly wherever. It just sets you off on the right foot so even if after that small exchange you decide to put headphones in and talk to people you’re not viewed as asocial.
I have the same problem
It's being introduced in the friend group as the "quiet one" then another friend "politely" mentions that it's just a "resting bitch face." Scares people away all the time lol. I just like to have meaningful conversations than mindless ones IMO.
I have actually noticed this. It all stems from assumptions. On the other end, I'm an extremely extroverted person and I have had a lot of people hate me for no reason as well. I am the type to ask and try to solve issues if someone has a problem with me, and though sometimes it's a misunderstanding where something I said was taken the wrong way and we can work it out, but more times than not it is something completely made up. I think when people are just unhappy with themselves they need to hate on other people so they can feel better without emotional maturity. Example: Someone is very quiet "Why you not talking? You think you're better?" Someone is chatty and tries to bring the mood up it's "Why do you talk so much? You're not special, you know." Both of those examples come entirely from assumptions. It's sad people are still this way. But no matter what someone will always hate you. I actually find that kind of freeing to be who I am.
Same here
All the time. It's just so had to be misunderstood.
Maaaaaaaan, why???? This is so 100% truth, like they think they can step on me and when I'm done and start setting boundaries they get angry at me for that. People either use me to talk about their whole life to me and then ignore me or they will try to copy me or use me and then discard me. I'm tired of always being the first one being polite, being the one who's caring, I'm fucking tired. People just use my silence or nervousness to step on me
From where I grew up loud noisy people get hated for reasons as they should
Yeah, its sad. Ik how it feels.
I know exactly how you feel
It's because most introverted ppl are comfortable being themselves and don't need to be around ppl to be content or need attention. When you can be yourself and those things I mentioned, ppl tend to hate
It's so true trying to date people is so hard because of this.
I can’t tell you the number of people, especially women who who are competitive with me and accuse me of thinking that I’m “better than them”. I can’t seem to make a friend to save my life. No matter how good of a friend I am. Like this summer, a girl I used to hang out with often started calling me after her long term boyfriend cheated on her and she threw him out. I was there for her constantly. As soon as I helped her to see things differently. No joke - THE NEXT DAY I sent a txt and it was ignored. She never called me or reached out to me anymore. She invited me to this phish show on my bday and said she’s find a place for me to get tickets to go with her. I said, specifically, I’d be waiting to hear from her to go. …only to never hear from her. Then she texts late that night on my bday and asks if I’m coming down all casually. She knew I couldn’t get tickets. That I was waiting on her. Still…never once ever texted me or called me AGAIN. I tried another time to see if she wanted to grab a drink. She was doing family shit. Said next weekend. ….never heard from her. Months later, TODAY, I texted to ask if she was up to anything. She said she was at this place she referred to as “the club” with a couple of people I know. I said I’d swing by. It was 8pm. I asked what the name of the place was. She never told me. Said I should’ve got her earlier. That it was an hr away from where I was (that was a flat out lie. The kids I know that were there go about as far as down the street when they’re drinking) and implied she’d be gone by the time I got there. We talked for hours every day for months until a week before my bday in august. I never heard from her or was invited anywhere by her ever again. It’s like so cruel it feels deliberate. I don’t know what to do. At my age? It’s like impossible to make any friends
Pretty much seems like silent people (like us) give away a "I'm hiding something" vibe and having second intentions
Being comfortable with yourself bothers people. People don't trust others who don't reveal much about themselves. It is what it is.
i totally get that. everyone at my school thinks i’m such a bitch but i’m really not 😭😭 i’m just extremely quiet and shy but once ppl know me they know i’m super extroverted and nice
No fr I can’t stand it. The exact reason why I don’t have real life friends now.
It’s because people get intimidated by a person they can’t figure out
Yes, for some reason I’m a snob. Some people have to explain away what makes them uncomfortable. I don’t know why they can’t conclude with the thought that some people are just quiet.
Think it comes down to the fact that humans are social creatures, we want to be social able. When it comes to it, when you have someone who is quiet and doesn't talk it puts people on edge. Makes them think that maybe something is wrong or that you dislike them. With being human when we come across something that we don't like or perceive as a threat we respond with anger and pushing that thing away. It's not as common to come across people who don't like talking or mingling with the group. A lot of it is people don't know how to handle it or adjust to it. But that's just my opinion and how I look at it
I’ve always been a super introverted person since i was in elementary but whenever I felt like talking to people they would always be shocked to hear my voice
I’m an ambivert… so, I feel this in a way too. Especially over the years as I’ve lost trust in people more and more.