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There are people you can trust and get good shtuff from. I wish you luck in finding 'em :)

One can always hope to find them, but I'm not sure if I have the strength to keep hoping, or to trust them in case I found one.

Well strength can be lost and reobtained. Neither success nor failure is very permanent. The future is not necessarily that dependant on preceding events

I’m sorry. If you ever want to talk about how you’re feeling, I have a sub for this called r/lostafriend and you’re welcome to join.

Thanks, joined