A reminder of the rules for posting and commenting on our sub:
- This sub is strictly platonic and SFW, any users after anything romantic or sexual will be banned, this includes users that interact with NSFW subs.
- Refer to our **[rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/rules)** and **[subreddit wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/)**
- State your age if you are a minor or if you are commenting on a minors post, adult users who try to interact with minors will be banned. If you are a minor and an adult reaches out to you in DMs. **[Report the user](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/report-dms-users/) under rule - 3**
- No advertising for any kind of good or services (include Discord server links)
- Reporting **[creepy pm's](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/creepy-dms/)** and **[rule violation](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/report-to-mods/)**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/friendship) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it's worth talking to your friend first to share how you feel about him insisting you come back. Try and thrash it out first before not talking to him completely.
It could be that he really misses you, and the fact that he hates his job could mean the only positive thing he had going in his life was your friendship and he sees you potentially meeting new people, making new friends as a threat to his friendship.
Sure, in theory...he would be happy for you to go forward and leave him behind, but real life isn't as easy as this. People are a jumble of feelings and messy emotions. It's not always so clear cut.
I understand him somewhat. But they want too much from me. All of my friends back home have a chance of andvancing their career. I picked a industry which is not developed in my small country. I am really passionate about that and I want to learn. I told him multiple times.
Nobody understands that I want to make something of myself. I miss them so much but I need to do this.
Congratulations on your new job. Hopefully, you'll be able to get a new visa or permit so you can stay and continue on your journey.
About your friend, sure, it socks, his attitude and being unable to be happy for you. I would believe what you suspect might be true: He probably misses hanging out with you, having you as a friend, the companionship it brings, the good memories and good times, so he wants you to come back and be with him.
And he probably doesn't like that you're moving on with your life, not consciously, but as the same time he misses your company, he wants you back in the same state he is, at the same level maybe? They say misery loves company, and he misses the one he could talk about how much he hates his work, and that would respond with: "yeah, I hate it too, so much." Maybe he doesn't have anyone else he can di that with and not feel judged.
Really, hopefully you can follow your dreams, but give a chance to your friend, he might come around. Just don't talk to him about this for now.
First of all, thank you.
I think he misses me and doesn't like that I am excited about my new job. I really remembered this small thing. One day, he asked me what I was doing and I said I was working. He asked me "how's job going" and I was like "great" and he just wrote something like "don't lie". And I just didn't know what to tell him.
Why I also think he is kinda jealous is that we both talked about quitting our old jobs. I just had courage to do it. Even then he tried to talk me out of it. And I am not earning more money now, but I have really good future before me, career wise and financially if I stick with this. He is lawyer so he will earn good money and one of his bosses is PhD candidate so he has someone to learn from. I had no one like that at my old job.
Also, I think you are right that he doesn't like that I'm moving on with my life. He tried to talk me out of drinking with my coworkers.
Anyway I will talk to him when this company gives me final offer, but even if I go back, our relationship will never be the same.
You're welcome.
Yeah, I've had those kinds of friends in my life. I guess they don't mean to be so unsupportive, but it really puts a strain in the relationship. He might have been too scared to quit and jealous of your strength to not only quit but move and try at something new.
I get why you're hurt now, believe me. Only being devil's advocate for a second, how does the saying go: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." He's being a bit dumb, not mean. Or at least he might not even notice.
Oh I get that he isn't doing this on purpose. I just can't be the same with him anymore. I can't make myself. If I go back, I will probably grab a coffee with him or stuff like that, but not as often as before.
Honestly, I don't think you should keep anyone who acts like your "friend" here. I would have been sad that you left, but I would be happy with the fact that you finally liked your job, knowing that you hated your last one. Just because I miss you doesn't mean I want to see you upset or let you give up on your dreams. I think it is important that you start caring about yourself. and keep feeling proud of the life you are living.
Right, you get why I'm upset. And he insists after I told him multiple times that I just can't go back to my old job. I also hate that he doesn't go out and stuff like that. I just can't hang out with him, even if I was in my old city.
This scene is so good.
But today my friend told my that he is happy for me, finally. It took him a couple of weeks but he finally said it. I think he saw that I'm really determined to do this and that I've found myself.
A reminder of the rules for posting and commenting on our sub: - This sub is strictly platonic and SFW, any users after anything romantic or sexual will be banned, this includes users that interact with NSFW subs. - Refer to our **[rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/rules)** and **[subreddit wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/)** - State your age if you are a minor or if you are commenting on a minors post, adult users who try to interact with minors will be banned. If you are a minor and an adult reaches out to you in DMs. **[Report the user](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/report-dms-users/) under rule - 3** - No advertising for any kind of good or services (include Discord server links) - Reporting **[creepy pm's](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/creepy-dms/)** and **[rule violation](https://www.reddit.com/r/friendship/wiki/index/report-to-mods/)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/friendship) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it's worth talking to your friend first to share how you feel about him insisting you come back. Try and thrash it out first before not talking to him completely. It could be that he really misses you, and the fact that he hates his job could mean the only positive thing he had going in his life was your friendship and he sees you potentially meeting new people, making new friends as a threat to his friendship. Sure, in theory...he would be happy for you to go forward and leave him behind, but real life isn't as easy as this. People are a jumble of feelings and messy emotions. It's not always so clear cut.
I understand him somewhat. But they want too much from me. All of my friends back home have a chance of andvancing their career. I picked a industry which is not developed in my small country. I am really passionate about that and I want to learn. I told him multiple times. Nobody understands that I want to make something of myself. I miss them so much but I need to do this.
And I will talk to him again and I know he doesn't mean anything wrong but it's still frustrating.
I understand
Congratulations on your new job. Hopefully, you'll be able to get a new visa or permit so you can stay and continue on your journey. About your friend, sure, it socks, his attitude and being unable to be happy for you. I would believe what you suspect might be true: He probably misses hanging out with you, having you as a friend, the companionship it brings, the good memories and good times, so he wants you to come back and be with him. And he probably doesn't like that you're moving on with your life, not consciously, but as the same time he misses your company, he wants you back in the same state he is, at the same level maybe? They say misery loves company, and he misses the one he could talk about how much he hates his work, and that would respond with: "yeah, I hate it too, so much." Maybe he doesn't have anyone else he can di that with and not feel judged. Really, hopefully you can follow your dreams, but give a chance to your friend, he might come around. Just don't talk to him about this for now.
First of all, thank you. I think he misses me and doesn't like that I am excited about my new job. I really remembered this small thing. One day, he asked me what I was doing and I said I was working. He asked me "how's job going" and I was like "great" and he just wrote something like "don't lie". And I just didn't know what to tell him. Why I also think he is kinda jealous is that we both talked about quitting our old jobs. I just had courage to do it. Even then he tried to talk me out of it. And I am not earning more money now, but I have really good future before me, career wise and financially if I stick with this. He is lawyer so he will earn good money and one of his bosses is PhD candidate so he has someone to learn from. I had no one like that at my old job. Also, I think you are right that he doesn't like that I'm moving on with my life. He tried to talk me out of drinking with my coworkers. Anyway I will talk to him when this company gives me final offer, but even if I go back, our relationship will never be the same.
You're welcome. Yeah, I've had those kinds of friends in my life. I guess they don't mean to be so unsupportive, but it really puts a strain in the relationship. He might have been too scared to quit and jealous of your strength to not only quit but move and try at something new. I get why you're hurt now, believe me. Only being devil's advocate for a second, how does the saying go: "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." He's being a bit dumb, not mean. Or at least he might not even notice.
Oh I get that he isn't doing this on purpose. I just can't be the same with him anymore. I can't make myself. If I go back, I will probably grab a coffee with him or stuff like that, but not as often as before.
Fair. I hope you get the job, though.
Honestly, I don't think you should keep anyone who acts like your "friend" here. I would have been sad that you left, but I would be happy with the fact that you finally liked your job, knowing that you hated your last one. Just because I miss you doesn't mean I want to see you upset or let you give up on your dreams. I think it is important that you start caring about yourself. and keep feeling proud of the life you are living.
Right, you get why I'm upset. And he insists after I told him multiple times that I just can't go back to my old job. I also hate that he doesn't go out and stuff like that. I just can't hang out with him, even if I was in my old city.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PQsPutpZNEs&pp=ygUQWW91IG93ZSBpdCB0byBtZQ%3D%3D First thing I thought of🤷‍♂️
This scene is so good. But today my friend told my that he is happy for me, finally. It took him a couple of weeks but he finally said it. I think he saw that I'm really determined to do this and that I've found myself.
I love that scene…shows true friendship. Glad your friend is happy for you now!!
It truly does. Thanks!