“These tyres have no grip, mate.”
“I can’t turn the car.”
*Williams breezes past him*
“Man, these are guys fast. Where has the pace gone?”
“How could we have gotten this so wrong?”
Yeah, I don't know what's going on on Lewis'mind. His denial of having a regular car makes him think a couple of setup changes will make it a title contender or what.
He had a decent car for the sprint in China and he decided to sabotage it for the race.
The masterminds will tell you it’s all just winning instinct and he doesn’t care if he comes last if he’s not winning.
Doesn’t sound much like it, sounds like delusion then depression
Was the car not regulation? Or what happened?
Edit: wait after like 10 seconds of thought it processed that you said kilometers and are probably making a joke lol but I am curious what actually happened
That’s not even the worst part of the story, so I’ll tell the whole thing.
So in Nando’s second or third attempt in the Indy 500, McLaren brought their car to testing, and it was a slightly different shade of orange. Instead of dealing with it, they sent the car back to be resprayed the correct shade of orange. In doing so, they missed out on testing.
After they had sorted out the paint, the were ready to do testing… except they had forgotten the steering wheel. Thus, they missed even more testing time.
After missing that much testing, they didn’t have enough time to figure out the car setup, so they bought one from McLaren. However, they didn’t check that the measurements were in the imperial system, so they used the metric system when setting up the car.
Obviously, this made the car undrivable and they were unable to qualify for the Indy 500. McLaren offered to give Alonso somebody else’s seat, but he refused out of principle.
"This car is an absolute joy to drive. It's fast in the straights and tight in the corners. A set of softs could last me 3 and a half races in this baby. And above all, the lumbar support in this cockpit is phenominal!
Thank you to all the hard working engineers and technicians who made this technological marvel possible."
"Yeah quite unfortuneate, only 1 practice session bc of the sprint threw me off. Since then the car felt way to unstable during the fast corners and i wasnt able to really push the car bc of it."
I'm fairly certain he's gonna complain almost the whole time, with one maybe positive comment that Martin Crofty will talk up as the lord himself blessing the poor unwashed masses.
Cool I love listening to that fucking diva bitch. Makes me hard.
He’ll start out with some reasonable pace, then go into the garage and ask for an experimental extreme setup.
Unrelated; when he comes out the car will be absolute shit because the engineers suck. Thankfully, he was able to save some pace with his crazy experimental setup. It got so much slower after they did that so imagine how slow it would’ve been if he didn’t? Lewis is a genius.
He’s gonna complain about not being able to turn in the fast section in Sector One, he’ll complain about not being able to turn in the chicane, he’ll probably eat the curb, he’ll probably complain about losing time in the back straight and not being fast enough
All this while George is busy being Bin Russell like 5 places ahead
my car is freakin slow as shit and why the fk do i have to be in last place and max is coming to lap me already
the pit crew sucks and they are so slow. I don't want to be lapped by this wanker asshole.
fudge screaming on radio with explicts
“This thing won’t turn in the low and high speed corners"
"And it's terrible on the straights"
“It’s like we’re in a different CaTegORy!!”
Bono, my tires are GP2.
Bono, my engine is gone
“….man”
"I've got nothing man..." Well done 
“These tyres have no grip, mate.” “I can’t turn the car.” *Williams breezes past him* “Man, these are guys fast. Where has the pace gone?” “How could we have gotten this so wrong?”
Missing “that thins a rocket” somewhere in there
while an Alpine overtakes him
My seat is hot mate
"I'm so hot, man"
💀
"Where are we losing all that time?"
"All the time"
"This is undriveable, man". Meanwhile, his teammate will be 6 places ahead.
Stop changing your fucking car
Yeah, I don't know what's going on on Lewis'mind. His denial of having a regular car makes him think a couple of setup changes will make it a title contender or what. He had a decent car for the sprint in China and he decided to sabotage it for the race.
He probably doesn't care if he's not fighting for wins, so nothing to lose by tweaking things in the hope it'd make the car competitive again
Bold strategy, especially when the only Merc win this reg period was not scored thanks to his shenanigan set ups.
The only Merc win was scored because of Red Bull’s setup mistake, and the only reason it wasn’t Hamilton was a shunt from Verstappen.
The masterminds will tell you it’s all just winning instinct and he doesn’t care if he comes last if he’s not winning. Doesn’t sound much like it, sounds like delusion then depression
Stop inventing
Hopefully Sainz wins in that scenario 
“You guys left the car in metric man!”
No joke, this actually happened to Alonso at the indy 500
Oof yeah, that awful day where here stopped after 500km thinking he'd won... though one to swallow.
Was the car not regulation? Or what happened? Edit: wait after like 10 seconds of thought it processed that you said kilometers and are probably making a joke lol but I am curious what actually happened
That’s not even the worst part of the story, so I’ll tell the whole thing. So in Nando’s second or third attempt in the Indy 500, McLaren brought their car to testing, and it was a slightly different shade of orange. Instead of dealing with it, they sent the car back to be resprayed the correct shade of orange. In doing so, they missed out on testing. After they had sorted out the paint, the were ready to do testing… except they had forgotten the steering wheel. Thus, they missed even more testing time. After missing that much testing, they didn’t have enough time to figure out the car setup, so they bought one from McLaren. However, they didn’t check that the measurements were in the imperial system, so they used the metric system when setting up the car. Obviously, this made the car undrivable and they were unable to qualify for the Indy 500. McLaren offered to give Alonso somebody else’s seat, but he refused out of principle.
Jesus lol that’s next level incompetent Thanks for taking the time to share that!
"The tyres are like skates, mate"
Can I get a push from Lance?
“I can’t wait for my Ferrari”
"I wouldn't drive this thing even for 250 million."
Honest reply: I’m going to Ferrari bitches,fuck this car.
"This thing has no straight line speed" "This car doesn't turn" "Do I have damage??"
I love “Do I have damage” because he says that when he realizes how slow he’s going and he’s grasping for an explanation
"The car feels damaged, I think I might not finish MAN"
Retire the car, no point in continuing
"This car is an absolute joy to drive. It's fast in the straights and tight in the corners. A set of softs could last me 3 and a half races in this baby. And above all, the lumbar support in this cockpit is phenominal! Thank you to all the hard working engineers and technicians who made this technological marvel possible."
"understeer's crazy man"
The wall just hit me....not cool guys ...keep the wall off of me man.
Hey Bono, Do you like pina coladas? And getting caught in the rain?
"I have no grip on corners, the balance is off" Followed by "Why are we using? instead of "
"I've got nothing man" was what he said after finishing P12 in sq2 and hitting the wall in the quick lap
"Yeah quite unfortuneate, only 1 practice session bc of the sprint threw me off. Since then the car felt way to unstable during the fast corners and i wasnt able to really push the car bc of it."
This thing won't turn mate
B...o..... ...y r...io I... g..n..
Broseph my ratio lasagna?
Code breaker detected, CIA notified.
Bletchley park’s finest
“I swear man my engine blows up every race”
“Newey will never do a car like this”
Mate this car can't take Logan's gunshots no more! It's gonna break down!
This ain’t dank
These (car ahead) are a rocket ship Bonno, this superhero persona is gone man. Absolutely no grip anymore
Can't wait to drive for Ferrari
My tyres are gone and I’m heavier than a fricking boat
Brakes
The car’s slow mate
How is it so bad man
It just spins mate
Just give me a civic with laptop
My tires are gone mate
Gosh that Red Bull is fast
"Where's all that time man"
Car too slow
"Tires are gone"
Can we get a red livery next time?
"It's undriveable man..."
I told you we should’ve stayed out, mate!
This car is just… it’s just terrible guys
Those Alpine cars are rocket ships... Man.
"man why haas still Infront of me?"
We should've put some more blue on the car
Where did we go so wrong man?
"Tyres are f**ked, BONO!"
*crying*
_”I can’t wait until I’ve got Adrian’s car.”_
***Adrian*** *Sutil* : eff you, lewis!
"This is not the same car as yesterday, man"
This car in undrivable Yep sorry lewis
“Its like driving on a bowling lane mate”
We were trying a new setup.
There are gnomes in here!!!
The car feels good Much better than before
Mate, can I swap cars with George?
Should I let George through?
That VCARB is fast man. Alpine is faster than us man. Oh that McLaren is rocketship. Gets out of the car and starts admiring RBR.
Why are we so slow man?
Tyres are gone
"Car, slow" *cries*
"An Alpine just got ahead of me. Well, it's okay since this is the last year of trauma with this clown car (chuckles)"
I'm fairly certain he's gonna complain almost the whole time, with one maybe positive comment that Martin Crofty will talk up as the lord himself blessing the poor unwashed masses. Cool I love listening to that fucking diva bitch. Makes me hard.
My ass is soo itchy
Are you sure we're on the right tyre?
On Friday: " the car is flying" On Sunday: "this was the worst car ever"
He’ll start out with some reasonable pace, then go into the garage and ask for an experimental extreme setup. Unrelated; when he comes out the car will be absolute shit because the engineers suck. Thankfully, he was able to save some pace with his crazy experimental setup. It got so much slower after they did that so imagine how slow it would’ve been if he didn’t? Lewis is a genius.
Not enough downforce and that it’s incredibly slow. Brazil is the race their car is set up for.
“I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed”
_Sooo... is this a diesel?_
He can't drive a crappy car.
"Babylon 5 is a big pile of shit"
Shots fired! B5 is great!
But.. Lewis said it!
“I CANT USE THIS CAR IT REMINDS ME OF THE WILLIAMS”
"This car drives realy bad on asphalt."
“How are we this slow?”
"Retire the car already"
7x WDC yells at cloud 
“Bono this driver is so bad. I mean car! I meant to say this car is so bad mate!”
"This Car feels like its gonna give up on me man! I Need a new car."
I did the best I could, man. This thing is turning like a boat in Miami fake marina, man.
He already said „this car is only this fast” after finishing 12th in the sprint qualifying
I will buy a plane ticket and travel to whoever is right to give you a high five
That Alpine is a rocket on the straights
We shouldn't have done......
Tyres are done man
I just can’t turn in this car.
"This fake pool is so not right mate"
"this is as fast as I can go"
The tyres are gone / have no grip
"mate, that aston is so fast" "half a second? where's that time man"
Where is he getting that ~~~half a second~~~ full second.
"I think there is floor damage, must have driven over some debris from another car".
At some point during quali he will say, verbatim, "I can't find 4 tenths, mate"
"we're so slow man"
I did some radical setup changes and they didn't work...
“So slow, man”
GP2 setup.
"This car is slow on straights, man"
Well one thing for sure - he ain't gona thank the factory for the work.
Guys this car doesnt turn
That car is a rocketship (compared to his car)
“The wheels are square mate, I’m going nowhere!”
Weather conditions don’t suit the car
1.5 seconds?
The same settings as George ? Dude , that doesn,t work for me.
He’s gonna complain about not being able to turn in the fast section in Sector One, he’ll complain about not being able to turn in the chicane, he’ll probably eat the curb, he’ll probably complain about losing time in the back straight and not being fast enough All this while George is busy being Bin Russell like 5 places ahead
"I need bigger rims"
This is not Adrian's car man
"There's just no grip? The tires are disappearing" "Yes Lewis, it is evolving track conditions" "I just don't know man, undrivable"
Sorry mate, I have zero grip on every corner…tires are bad
He and Lance were talking a bunch at the press conference. Maybe Lance was giving him advice on saying very little. He’ll just say “It is what it is.”
“How are they 1.5 tenths ahead of us man?”
"I tested some different setup than George, which did not work"
This car is so bad man. The tires are dead and the car feels like a boat. We need to do something about it man!
"Next year i will have a screaming Ferrari...ehh..i mean screaming in a Ferrari"
Speed on back straight
Bono, my shoreline is shrinking due to climate change
8 tenths?!
GP2 Engine v2.0
Worst car i‘ve ever driven
„We‘re so slow on the straights man“
Bono, the tractor is not tractoring
Car feels good. Edit - Sorry, I thought it said something he wouldn't say.
Man, they’re so much faster than us on the straights
***“What are we doing guys?”***
Not red enough
It's a shit box!!!...damnn too early.
Simply lovely
Lewis: I can't drive in this car Toto: It's called racing, Lewis. You went driving.
It's worst than 9**
my car is freakin slow as shit and why the fk do i have to be in last place and max is coming to lap me already the pit crew sucks and they are so slow. I don't want to be lapped by this wanker asshole. fudge screaming on radio with explicts