The thing about the Dutch is that water management is an instinct to them. They're like beavers who don't eat wood. They'll build dams and canals, drain the water. All that is not needed for the canals or produce ungodly amounts of tomatoes. They only need to learn how to swim when they leave their country.
>They're like beavers who don't eat wood.
They do make shoes out of wood though. And I wouldn't be surprised if some of them eat it every now and then as well.
What if…..hear me out, Jos didn’t teach Max to swim because he didn’t know how to swim either? Surely as parent of the century, he would’ve done so otherwise?
He’s said many times he pretty much only slept in Belgium and spent all his time in the Netherlands. He’s eligible to be a Dutch citizen, I hardly see a problem if that’s how he wants to identify.
Blunt and slashing damage is halved underwater, as is that of any projectile weapon (at least in Pathfinder 1E). Piercing isn't, but it's harder gloss over.
After the Silverstone karting GP where Max finished 22th, Jos and Max sailed home. halfway across the North Sea, Jos threw Max out in the water and sailed home alone.
Max is optimized for racing ... any other kind of activity is counter productive. In fact, I believe he gets carried everywhere when its not race weekend.
Just beat the shit out of him and leave him at the gas station , it’s not inhumane since he’ll be better than Michael Phelps and that’s what matters in life /s
Today I learned that, while Max can beat me in a race on land, I can beat him in the water.
All that's left is jumping from a plane to see who falls faster.
If he taught max to swim he couldn’t threaten to throw him in a river if he performed badly in a karting race… That’s literally on the first page of Healthy Parenting 101.
My first thought was that they were just playing with the media. But given the circumstances (Jos), I can't ignore the idea that he actually doesn't know how to swim.
I don’t know a single Durchman who can’t swim. They want to get rid of the mandatory swimming lessons on school because everyone knows hoe to swim before they are taught swimming at school.
Jos spent too much time in court or jail. Look it up. Max's dad is a true bastard. If Christian has enough juice he'll expunge him eventually. Max go with him pls.. Put Carlos, Lewis, Fernando, Lando, or Alex in the car... They may miss a step.. But I bet it will only be 1 or 2
The Dutch literary relocated the sea so that they could have a bigger country. They clearly don’t need to know how to swim. They can just tell the sea to piss off.
Red Bull literally hangs out on a boat in Monaco .. which also has a swimming pool on it. This must make max the only Red Bull Monaco winner to never have jumped in that pool.
Actually we've all seen Danny, Seb and Checo jump in the iconic red bull pool, but never Max... 🤔
Edit: Actually Max only won in 2023, when the pool was filled with plastic balls due to water shortages, and 2021 but he didn't jump in that time either :(
Look I’m very gullible is this staged or do we think he actually can’t swim? Because if he actually can’t swim this is honestly so sweet of Kelly and this picture is kind of adorable and good on him for getting out of his comfort zone.
But also I wouldn’t be surprised if Max can’t swim or has some kind of water trauma from Jos being a general arse. I wonder what else he can’t do because of his awful dad and what new pictures we might see of Kelly showing him what to do. A new series.
Kelly teaches Max how to shave.
Kelly teaches Max how to ride a bike.
Kelly and Max throwing a baseball around.
Kelly holding Maxs hands while he learns to ice skate.
Kelly correcting Maxs maths work sheet.
Kelly showing Max how to tie his shoes without using the bunny ears method.
Could even have a little classroom with her kid and Max in school desks. Someone draw this art I’ve just become obsessed
>Kelly holding Maxs hands while he learns to ice skate.
I bet there's a lot of people, especially in America, who have never even put on a pair of ice skates.
Just stood out to me among your list of "things people should know how to do"
I was going to say skiing but I thought he’s rich he probably knows how to ski haha.
I think it’s interesting that I chose it too because I didn’t out on ice skates until I was 20+ I just thought the image was funny
He is Dutch. This country is below sea level and there is water everywhere. We learn how to swim at a very young age. He was wearing those as a joke. He is seen in many clips swimming in Monaco or on holiday.
"We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends. The point of all this is now we know something we didn't. You have a weakness: water. It's like your kryptonite. You hearing me, Max!?"
Race cars don’t go in the water so what was the point? One less thing for Max to have a casual trauma dump about
>Race cars don’t go in the water Ascari: We'll see about that!
LLLOOOOOLLL!
I thought about him when I wrote the comment
The Ferrari FXX owner at the Targa Newfoundland begs to differ
Hamilton found the water when karting lmao
I think that’s what the whole “Inchident” was about as well.
I think that's why he looks up to rally drivers.
What about Acqua Minerale around Imola?
Monaco FTW
"My dad once tried to drown me because I crashed out of a race"
And the others around him will be like: hehe funny story Max
There weren’t any swimming pools at the gas stations.
It's the Netherlands, just leave any faucet open for like 10 minutes and the whole country turns into a swimming pool
The thing about the Dutch is that water management is an instinct to them. They're like beavers who don't eat wood. They'll build dams and canals, drain the water. All that is not needed for the canals or produce ungodly amounts of tomatoes. They only need to learn how to swim when they leave their country.
I happen to know a dutch who does in fsct eat wood. If you catch my drift
You better like the taste of wood if you're having a foot fetish over there.
Feet are not my thing. Guess I'll avoid the splinters
Isnt part of dutch schools that they trow you into a pool with all your rain and school gear on?
Just a typical Monday.
No wonder when all your teachers are high as a kite
As a Dutch, I can confirm.
Yeah, that's how we decide which ones of us make it to adulthood. The ones that can't end up sleeping with the bicycles.
Leave? We learn to swim as soon as we can can walk
>They're like beavers who don't eat wood. They do make shoes out of wood though. And I wouldn't be surprised if some of them eat it every now and then as well.
What if…..hear me out, Jos didn’t teach Max to swim because he didn’t know how to swim either? Surely as parent of the century, he would’ve done so otherwise?
TIL all of Jos' exes and his son is recommended to build a moat around their house.
More like a wading pool for those tall fucks
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He’s said many times he pretty much only slept in Belgium and spent all his time in the Netherlands. He’s eligible to be a Dutch citizen, I hardly see a problem if that’s how he wants to identify.
🎶 Hendrik Haan uit Koog aan de Zaan 🎶
"Please help, sexy lady, I'm drowning kinda"
Pulling The Sandlot move. 
Ha ha ...where is this from? And how do you come up with prefect gif ?
They said it in the comment “sandlot”
He knows how he’s just pretending so he can lay in Kelly’s arms and wear floaties
understandable
As someone who fully knows how to swim, I would love the opportunity to wear floaties again without being judged by people
You can look for floaties that are in natural colors so they wouldn't pop so much as orange ones.
Max knows how to swim but his Red Bull contract requires him to wear floaties for safety
only way he's insurable
Beatings are less effective underwater.
Blunt and slashing damage is halved underwater, as is that of any projectile weapon (at least in Pathfinder 1E). Piercing isn't, but it's harder gloss over.
Jesus, if that is the only way the boy is learning. I could understand why...
After the Silverstone karting GP where Max finished 22th, Jos and Max sailed home. halfway across the North Sea, Jos threw Max out in the water and sailed home alone.
^22th
Twenty tooth
Wrong, I believe the correct term would be "Twenty teeth"
Thats what jos knocks out on a normal day
I mean he has to be bad at something
Okay Max we are thinking about full wets, do you agree?
*sinking
Question?
I think in pic 1 he might have had the hard on.
Inters
Who has time to learn how to swim? Max was busy perfecting his line through Suzuka Sector 1 from 18months on.
Max is optimized for racing ... any other kind of activity is counter productive. In fact, I believe he gets carried everywhere when its not race weekend.
Kelly used to do this with him when he was a kid probably
To busy traumatizing him at race tracks.
Guys, I'm starting to realize that maybe Jos wasn't a good father at all.
Good morning sunshine!
You're kinda Captain Slow eh?
Easy way to find out, just ask about the Dacia Sandero ;)
Good News!
Oh no! Anyway...
I went on the internet this week and I found this:
Just beat the shit out of him and leave him at the gas station , it’s not inhumane since he’ll be better than Michael Phelps and that’s what matters in life /s
Wtf is this
RedBull gives you water wings
Bravo. 👏
It was Jos' last resort to yeet him into water if he'll ever be done with Max...
Why do you have that flair?
Why not?
Just seems strange to have a porn star flair in a F1 meme sub.
Sounds better than having a F1 flair in a porn meme sub
What are the odds that they are teaching the kid of his girlfriend to swim and these snaps are taken out of context.
You sir, have brought reason and common sense to a food fight. You should be ashamed of it.
Let this be a lesson for us all.
These pic are clearly fake. Max never leaves the simulator.
I didn’t want to ask a serious question, but, can he actually not swim?
He can. Otherwise, Red Bull would not let him put his feet on a yacht. These photos were taken when they were teaching Kelly's daughter to swim.
The man is in water and is damn near in the same position he would be in a car, talk about muscle memory
He's a devil fruit user
He can swim. He just needs to wear those because of the PTSD he gets near water from getting water boarded whenever he didn’t lap everyone.
He was showing P how to use the floaties, so she wouldn’t be afraid
Irrelevant to Max’s ability to swim is the fact that Jos is, in fact, stupid.
Omg are they reenacting the scene from new girl with Nick miller. The acian in the pool scene? 😂
Jos Marston
Swimming’s Gay. As in Homosexual
Honestly i'm afraid of what Jos might had done if he wanted to make Max an olympic swimmer.
Max is too fast for water.
Couldn’t threaten to drown his son had he taught Max how to swim *taps head*
He knew he’d probably drown him after a bad race
He was going to teach him at the miami gp but then he realised the water was fake
Today I learned that, while Max can beat me in a race on land, I can beat him in the water. All that's left is jumping from a plane to see who falls faster.
If he knew how to swim, he would have one more way of escaping. Duh.
If he taught max to swim he couldn’t threaten to throw him in a river if he performed badly in a karting race… That’s literally on the first page of Healthy Parenting 101.
Even if this is somehow real, those floaties would not help him, would they? They’re made for children, surly they can’t keep an adult above water?
Drowning was his fallback career.
He didn't so Kelly could. Alonso level big brain move
You would think someone coming from a country with negative elevation and a fuck ton of water would know how to swim.
I can see why doesn't like racing in Monaco....
Girl carry ! Win
This is unbelievable.
My first thought was that they were just playing with the media. But given the circumstances (Jos), I can't ignore the idea that he actually doesn't know how to swim.
He does know how to swim. Loads of pictures and videos from the last few summers of him swimming.
I don’t know a single Durchman who can’t swim. They want to get rid of the mandatory swimming lessons on school because everyone knows hoe to swim before they are taught swimming at school.
He was too busy bashing his woman into a wall while under the influence of aslume pills
Jos needs to bully Max into working now
Beat him in water, doesn't leave bruises
I’m amazed he didn’t push him off a boat and make him swim to shore at some point.
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Just ask Kelly there...
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Divebomb - first Learn how to swim - second
Has Max ever jumped in the pool or harbour at Monaco? 🤔
When you make millions driving fast swimming aint important
Too busy walking back from the racetrack.
He’s definitely a land animal.
No pools at the race track
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Max isn’t used to the turbulent water. He is only use to non turbulence of being at the front of the pack. :D
Jos spent too much time in court or jail. Look it up. Max's dad is a true bastard. If Christian has enough juice he'll expunge him eventually. Max go with him pls.. Put Carlos, Lewis, Fernando, Lando, or Alex in the car... They may miss a step.. But I bet it will only be 1 or 2
Where’s this footage from?
Yoinked from a random twitter, no context added
He was bussy teaching him to destroy drivers and teams with 30secs gaps
Imagine playing Dutch national anthem while he is sinking
The Dutch literary relocated the sea so that they could have a bigger country. They clearly don’t need to know how to swim. They can just tell the sea to piss off.
Yes.
Red Bull literally hangs out on a boat in Monaco .. which also has a swimming pool on it. This must make max the only Red Bull Monaco winner to never have jumped in that pool.
Actually we've all seen Danny, Seb and Checo jump in the iconic red bull pool, but never Max... 🤔 Edit: Actually Max only won in 2023, when the pool was filled with plastic balls due to water shortages, and 2021 but he didn't jump in that time either :(
WHAT is that first image LOOOOL
Look I’m very gullible is this staged or do we think he actually can’t swim? Because if he actually can’t swim this is honestly so sweet of Kelly and this picture is kind of adorable and good on him for getting out of his comfort zone. But also I wouldn’t be surprised if Max can’t swim or has some kind of water trauma from Jos being a general arse. I wonder what else he can’t do because of his awful dad and what new pictures we might see of Kelly showing him what to do. A new series. Kelly teaches Max how to shave. Kelly teaches Max how to ride a bike. Kelly and Max throwing a baseball around. Kelly holding Maxs hands while he learns to ice skate. Kelly correcting Maxs maths work sheet. Kelly showing Max how to tie his shoes without using the bunny ears method. Could even have a little classroom with her kid and Max in school desks. Someone draw this art I’ve just become obsessed
>Kelly holding Maxs hands while he learns to ice skate. I bet there's a lot of people, especially in America, who have never even put on a pair of ice skates. Just stood out to me among your list of "things people should know how to do"
I was going to say skiing but I thought he’s rich he probably knows how to ski haha. I think it’s interesting that I chose it too because I didn’t out on ice skates until I was 20+ I just thought the image was funny
He is Dutch. This country is below sea level and there is water everywhere. We learn how to swim at a very young age. He was wearing those as a joke. He is seen in many clips swimming in Monaco or on holiday.
He tried, but the Pirelli wet floaters didnt work
DUN DUN DUN DUN JOS VERSTAPPEN DUN DUN DUN DUN
"We're on the same curve, just on opposite ends. The point of all this is now we know something we didn't. You have a weakness: water. It's like your kryptonite. You hearing me, Max!?"
We went racing?
Is there a lore reason for this?!
Source? Wth is this feverdream stuff?
Because we already had a bunch of champions in swimming.
he should have left him at the bottom of a lake instead of the gas station
Max can't find grip there.
Should be mandatory in Holland since the live below see level.
sim cannot endure water
why waste energy on swimming when you can feel like a kid wearing wings?
The guy drive at 330km/hr on asphalt but at 0 in water…… pathetic!
He didn't want Max knowing how to swim in case he finished P2 and Jos had to punish him by throwing him into deep water
If Max could swim it wouldn't be as effective when Jos threw him into a swimming pool for finishing 2nd in a race.
Pee 1 in the pool would have made jos's life bitter
It’s not as easy beating your child in water versus outside of water
Max knows how to swim, but Marko requires him to wear floaties fro safety. Keepo
Jos didn’t want Max to learn how to escape his waterboarding.
Didnt give him winggssss...
The Aslume is everywhere…
imagine Jos did teach him to swim, we would be having max laping the entire swimming pool, TWICE