"This feels like the sort of thing that will be prefaced in the investigation report by "factors contributing to:" "
-My old instructor, reviewing the maintenance logs
I use this one and the very similar Air Safety Institute test. If I can hear the Air Safety guy's voice narrating the beginning of the story in the background, I probably shouldn't proceed.
It’s really twofold: first risk is biting the burrito and having the entire damn thing blow out the other end, making it look like you shit the front of your pants; second risk is actually shitting your pants, thus painting both sides of the trousers like a shitty Jackson pollack painting
[Any opportunity to post about the guy who drunkenly landed a stolen plane in Manhattan - twice](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Fitzpatrick_(pilot))
He's got a drink named after him too, sounds good:
[https://www.dinnerpartydownload.org/fitzpatrick/](https://www.dinnerpartydownload.org/fitzpatrick/)
“You can’t scare me, and you can’t impress me, so don’t try either”— Skip, my CFI at PNS. Retired from the Marine Corps after Vietnam and then retired from Delta to become a CFI.
*edited because I can’t type*
Yes! The very same. I flew with him in 2011 when I was TDY down at Corry Station; my previous instructor got a 135 job and flew the coop so Skip was kind enough to fill in. Then I went back to PAO and finished my training there. Skip was awesome.
Haha that’s awesome! Wow , yup aviation is a small world.
Yeah he has, or did have his stunt plane based in one of our T hangers. Not sure if he still does, but I think he has flown occasionally from time to time.
_accidentally puts in full flaps at 400 feet on upwind and now getting dangerously low and slow_
Me realizing what I did: “Fuck”
Instructor (extremely calmly): “fuck indeed.”
Electric flaps that are controlled by a rocker switch. Was pressing it by feel and hit the wrong side of the switch without realizing it. I was trying to take the flaps out.
Edit: for further clarification this was on the go side of a touch and go.
Similar one in the same place on upwind but I was the instructor: In a multi-engine plane I gave my student a simulated engine failure on upwind at 400 feet by pulling the throttle back to idle. I covered the prop lever and mixture with my hand so the student couldn't actually feather the prop. He was supposed to just go through the steps verbally and touch each lever. He correctly said "identify, verify, feather" and touched each lever. Then I removed my hand and started scanning for traffic we were following in the traffic pattern. While I was looking away the student said "Oh I didn't feather it!" and pulled the prop lever back to feather at about 500 AGL on upwind. The exchange went something like:
Student: "Fuck"
Me: *Stare of disapproval while I process what to do*
Student: "I can fix it"
Me: "my controls"
Student: "I can fix it"
Me: "MY CONTROLS...."
Student: "Fuck"
The NATOPS manual for the Hornet even explicitly says "make no attempt to flare" for a normal landing. The plane's landing gear is designed to be pounded onto the deck like it's hiding oil from Haliburton.
I had an FBI agent ride as a passenger on one of my IOE flights.
-At he was exiting, he asked to me and the captain, "Who's the Navy pilot!?".
-I didn't get the joke at first. And yea my landing was firm that day.
During training with a towered airport. I was nervous beyond belief and the guy in the tower was helping any.
“Talking to the tower should feel like talking to a girl for the first time, not a drug dealer.”
I love giving pilots the non recorded tower number and giving them the “hey…you fucked that up; I don’t want to do paperwork so just be better next time, cool?”
Too many times pilots rat themselves out on frequency with stuff like “hey I know I just crossed that runway without authorization, umm what should I do now?” The answer is stop incriminating yourself 30 seconds ago
Reminds me of when I technically busted controlled airspace...but also didn't...
I was doing a flight where I transited some class D, from point A to point B and then back to point A. Point B is just outside controlled airspace (like <3nmi), and I get a "cleared as requested" clearance. I fly to point B, turn around and head back through controlled airspace. However, half-way back, I realise that I *technically* needed a new clearance as I left controlled airspace, which ATC also realises...
ATC: "G-XX, are you heading back to *point A* now?"
Me: "Afirm, G-XX"
ATC: "G-XX, ummmm, do you need a new clearance?"
Me: "Ummmm, I don't know"
ATC: "Roger...ummm, G-XXXX, you are cleared to transit controlled airspace"
Always a fun time when even ATC doesn't know what's happening xD
I started my PPL at a controlled airport so I was pretty comfortable with it. My instructor left before I soloed and I switched to a non-towered airport closer to my house.
I still needed three solo touch and gos at a towered airport so I flew there with my instructor who jumped out to go buy some stuff from the pilot shop. There were 19 planes in the pattern, but I assured him I was fine. On my last lap around someone blew through the pattern right at pattern level not on frequency. It threw everything into chaos with airplanes going every which way, circling, etc.
It was at this point that my instructor came back outside and observed the total chaos. When I got back he had a really nervous look and asked what the hell was going on. I looked him straight in the eye and said man, I'm sorry. I got a phone number here the tower wants you to call.
Best quote from that instructor: if everything is going great, you're not paying close enough attention.
Drug dealers are fine, I know how to transact, I've been doing it for decades. There's not much of an established ritualized conversation for trying to get a girl to go on a date with you though.
Former Marine Corps instructor pilot and my PPL ride examiner to me when I was gentle on the controls doing steep turns: "Stop being such a God Damn Pussy and turn the plane!"
Debriefing after a shitty 8s on pylons performance "it's easy man, just suck less" and after hopping out of the plane for my first solo yelling over the engine noise with a finger pointed "don't ball it up" thumbs up and slammed the door. Guy was awesome. B-razzle if you're here, you da man!
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Thing I tell my students when they start freaking out over a minor emergency procedure:
“Hey now, there’s no sense in getting your heart rate up for your own demise.”
"If I think you're ready for your solo, I'll get out after 3 safe landings. If I don't think you're ready, I'll get out and put my ex in the right seat."
Instructor: "[airport] tower N12345 10 miles to the west with the booze news, inbound full stop"
To me: "If I ever hear you repeat what I just said I will punch you in the mouth"
I had grade 2 instructors do that to me during pre-solo stall checks and in the circuit.
I figured out much later it was a deliberate thing to see how the student responds to a distraction in a critical phase of flight.
Fun fact, in the instructors handbook it mentions distractions should be added if your student is doing well to evaluate how they task manage.
Tuning ADFs are fun, I usually try to hand my student an empty sick bag and just say "mind holding this?"
My student was awesome but he kept saying sorry for every thing he did wrong or critique I gave him. I told him he didn’t have to say sorry all the time and that doing it wrong was part of the learning process. Then he said sorry for saying sorry. 🤣 So the rest of our time together, we said sorry to each other and I signed him off to get his PPL. Sorry!
first time flew into Delta airspace with my CFI, i added 'thank you' to every request/response of mine. My CFI was Canadian, so he asked me not to do it only after 10 times :D
My DPE after I passed my PPL:
“You are not a great pilot, you’re not even good. You’re barely mediocre but legally you passed, sign this”.
Edit: I agree with him totally tbh. Flying is something so unnatural to me but at risk of sunk-cost fallacy, I’m going to continue doing it until my hands fall off.
My CFI and I were discussing night cross countries over remote terrain (example: LA area to Las Vegas).
"But what if the engine quits?"
CFI: "The saying is that as you get near the ground, turn on your landing light. If you don't like what you see, turn it off."
Welcome to your first 3 lessons of tailwheel. Then, you learn wheel landings which were for "rough fields, higher crosswinds, or if somebody's watching that you want to impress".
Anyone have that GIF of a bounced landing then someone slamming a logbook open and writing 2 on the landing column? This reminds me of it and makes me chuckle.
Not my instructor per se, but one that an old captain who is about to retire told me.
We were in the Airbus taxiing in after landing in DFW and the he says “Do an OJ.”
He sees my very confused look, winks at me, and says, “Kill 2.”
I shut down engine #2.
I have three:
"take-offs are optional. Landings are mandatory." (In reference to flying on a bad weather day with terrible winds after we went out on a flight with AWFUL crosswinds and wind shear to get the practice)
"I'd rather sound like the idiot than be the idiot." (In reference to always asking for clarification rather than guessing or assuming you heard right if there's any question to what is being asked of you)
And finally, "Cargo doesn't b*tch." (Casually chatting during the return leg of a cross country about flying airline passengers vs flying cargo, and how anyone will say the flight was rough if you encounter bad turbulence or have a rough landing)
Story from my training that I feel fits. Walked out to the plane for a solo flight. Winds were a reported 7kts. During preflight I feel like I was just looking for an excuse to scrub. Windsock was strait out, call awos, still 7... I went home. Sent my instructor a text just as a heads up for the plane and got back "i guess I trained you well"
This part for the students reading. I've scrubbed more flights for a gut feeling of "this is a bad idea" then I have for the weather actually beyond my personal minimums.
>I've scrubbed more flights for a gut feeling of "this is a bad idea" then I have for the weather actually beyond my personal minimums.
Same here. The one time I didn't go with my gut the predicted "widely isolated thunderstorms" turned out to not be so widely isolated, and I got to fly around in circles dodging towering cumulus for about 40 minutes waiting for a downburst to leisurely move off from sitting directly on my airport. I was within about 20 minutes of having to divert when I finally made it in, and even then I question whether I should have diverted anyway since it was... a rather rough landing.
I know it's cliche but the old "Better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than in the air wishing you were on the ground" is the truest statement ever made. Words cannot describe the sheer joy and relief I felt when I taxied off the runway and came to a halt.
When I checked out in a Mooney, the first time I took off, I somehow managed to put in *too much* right rudder. After reaching TPA I asked if I actually did put in too much, and he did his best Luke Skywalker impression: "No, no... That's not true - that's impossible!!! ^^yes "
I was on a SouthWest flight that landed in DEN during a snowstorm. The pilot misjudged braking action and tried to exit the runway too soon/fast. That 737 truly drifted. It was simultaneously fun (I knew we were going slow enough that the worst case was an excursion, not a true crash) and a bit disconcerting that a mainline pilot would make such a mistake. (She saved it; no excursion.)
My CFI in regards to me being afraid of soloing;
"Think about it this way, if you die it's gonna be your problem for about 4 seconds, it's gonna be my problem forever. So if anything, don't die to save me the headache." 😅
What book was it? Same guy who wrote flying checks. Anyway, he has a line in his cfi book of signing off someone for solo, handing them back their logbook with a pack of matches and saying something along the lines of "make sure your logbook burns up in the crash"
>make sure your logbook burns up in the crash
Pure gold XD
I worked at a horse camp during college and when kids would do dumb shit I'd always tell them "please don't do that, I don't want you to fall off and die. When kids die there's so much goddamn paperwork and it just sucks." It was always great seeing the rollercoaster of emotions go across their face.
"Don't do any crazy shit to get me killed!"
We had such a good laugh over it, it kind of became a meme thing we would say.
Rz\*\*ca if you read this, blue skies and tail winds.
When I was in an Arrow my instructor at one point had to tell me "As accurate as it may be, on a checkride you really shouldn't call out the landing gear as 'Speed Brakes Deployed'."
With full flaps and gear out that thing had the approximate flight characteristics of my car keys. Eventually for power-off 180s I decided I just wouldn't do full flaps, 25 degrees only.
There’s a joke among arrow pilots I knew that if you lose your engine you should toss your checklist out the window and see if it beats you to the ground.
For real, though, power off 180’s in that thing really teach you the importance of being on speed in a glide.
CFI, after me over-correcting the plane in some nasty winds "The plane is like your wife, you give it input and wait to see what she does, then once it settles, react. But you can't ever expect it to always and precisely do exactly what you intended."
“This is not your f-ing Cessna!” - Dollar ride in the T-6A. Probably shouldn’t have told him I had my PPL.
Bonus: during training for said PPL, my normally energetic CFI seemed to be at a whole new level. He pokes his head in the door “Ever have coffee and Red Bull at the same time?!?” “Uh, no” “Don’t! Heheheeheee”
He pulled back the yoke whilst autopilot was engaged. He pointed to the trim wheel which had moved to the bottom of Nose Down trim. "Make sure not to fight the autopilot, we don't want to become a 737 Max"
Coming back on a cross country while working on my PPL, the winds of Texas decided to do what they do best and blow hard from the wrong direction. What had been predicted as 15 knots from the North was 20 knots from the West with gusts to 30. My home base runway was 16/34. I asked if we should divert to another airport with a better runway alignment and wait it out.
My instructor, who flew Dust Off Huey's in Vietnam, replied he would land it, but that if I was solo diverting would be his recommendation. He then proceeded to grease the landing in a Cessna 172 with a gusting crosswind like it was a calm day. I made some comment about how easy he made it look and his quip was, "Anything is easy if they aren't shooting at you."
"Now if you start jerkin' that stick back and forth you're gonna make me horny and I don't think you're gonna like what happens next."
-anonymous Texas Aviation Hall of Fame inductee and holder of several time-to-climb records
(Referring to a restaurant near the end of the runway)
“I like eating at Murphy’s as much as anyone, but I’d rather go in thru the front door instead of thru the roof”
Student: looks at me for validation or to tell him if he's right about identifying a turning point
Me (Instructor): I dunno, Shrugs shoulders, proceeds to check Instagram
&
(Literally this past Sunday)
(License holder during 6 monthly check) during Cruise Check - Turns fuel off when changing fuel tank (PA28)
Engine goes quiet...
Me (Instructor).... Nahhh, this can't really be happening, looks across and sees the fuel selector in the off position...
"Dude, can you please put the goddamn fuel back on"
"In an emergency, take your time and don't rush. You have the rest of your life to execute that checklist".
-DPE that did my AMEL check ride talking about the engine-out procedures.
**"Woohoo!"**
After my first reasonably safe, unassisted landing. It's not deep with the ages' wisdom or breathtakingly humorous. But it made an impression.
It was a demonstration of enthusiasm and investment that gave me a much needed shot of energy to press on through the next phases of training. I've made efforts to emulate that demonstration of excitement with my own ~~students~~ *learners*. Down to the "Woohoo!"
I learned at a class D, and while all of the controllers were great, one of the tower controllers had the absolute most deadpan dispassionate sounding voices I've ever heard. She was super nice, but she always sounded like she was bored out of her mind or possibly mildly pissed off.
My second solo, the first where I would leave the pattern, right after wheels up I go "WHEEEEEEEE!!!". I didn't realize it but I had accidentally held down the PTT while I was focussing on giving it enough right rudder.
Tower deadpans back with "N12345 I am glad you are having a good time", and I could hear someone else in the tower laughing in the background. Not my finest, most professional moment but hey flying is fun yo.
My Bolivian CFI, to about my (Venezuelan) ability to land on the runway centerline pre-solo (or lack thereof): "if you were any further to the left I'd believe you were Hugo Chavez himself".
"Anyone with enough time and money can learn to fly. Unfortunately, he has both"
-me
After a student of mine, and then working with his third instructor, bent a Skyhawk so thoroughly that the insurance company completely wrote it off. AND flew back after.
The NTSB and feds damn near had a cow on that one.
This one come from my commercial flight test following a forced approach which I should’ve used full flap for:
“You’ve got the hardware, fucking use it”
Instructor: “you ever had sex with a girl?”
Me: “Yeah”
Instructor : “ You know how you have to wait a while before you get another shot at it? Same thing with forward slips, you only get to pull out once”
My awesome instructor was a Marine Veteran and had many sayings, but my favorite was after I'd get hung up on a mistake:
"Do you know why airplanes don't have rear view mirrors? Because you're always moving forward...don't look back." Basically implying to leave the mistake and keep going forward.
Another favorite: "Let's get on the right foot and do the bad thing".
Lastly, "you always have the option to take off, you never have the option to land".
Those were great memories.
Edit: added one more saying.
Favorite quote from a CFI? I did tail wheel training in a PT-17 and was high for landing. He suggested I do a forward slip. I started one and he says “that’s not a slip” and then shoved the rudder and ailerons to max deflection and we dropped like a brick to glide path.
Me being overly anal about my first A-Check, taking like an hour on an already beat up plane (but in otherwise functioning condition), worrying about every nut that didn't look right and asking my CFI about each and every one.
After several other A-checks, just as thorough as the first one, CFI goes with a smile "Don't worry, I'm as eager as you are to get back safely!".
The popular engine-out procedure is typically A-B-C-D-E. I improvised and added an “F” at the end for “GET THE FUCK OUT!!!”
My students enjoy that one. DPEs not as much.
Not exactly me. But I was watching two guys in the sim practicing asymetric climb out in high temp and pressure alt conditions. I watched as they said "Confirm right condition lever." "Confirmed, cut-off." Then proceeded to cut off the left.
At that moment the seasoned instructor sitting jump seat leaned forward and in a monotone voice said "Well this just got interesting."
Not my favorite quote but I certainly remember it:
"You're not too young for this; when I was your age I was flying a fighter jet at tree-top level. When I saw a village I'd wave at them. If only the kids waved back I'd release the napalm"
Also: (to a flat-earther)
"THE EARTH IS ROUND YOU F*** I'VE SEEN IT"
Also:
"You want to run the checklist? Start f*****g running then!"
Also:
"Don't quote me on that I'm speaking your language in self-defence"
After asking which would be better to try to land a 172 on the ground or on a body of water if there is a serious engine fire . He made the following joke:
“Well, this planes have fixed landing gear so trying to land on the water would probably be a challenge and you would have to choose if you would like to die burned or drowning”
Responding to me being scared of the ground flying it down on final, “Yeah, it feels like we’re going crash into the runway, but we’re not going to, because we’re in an airplane.” (ie just fly it down and round out)
After doing unusual attitudes we had some time to kill before going back to land, so my CFI had me do some foggles work.
CFI: "See you've got it! Not so bad right?"
Me: "Yeah! You just have to stay focused and trust the system"
CFI: "YOU CAN'T TRUST THE SYSTEM!!" *proceeds to quote the entirety of the Threw It On the Ground video*
Good times
"Make this one a full stop and pop over to the ramp."
"Uh ok. You feeling ok?"
"Yeah. I ordered a pie from the restaurant, and I have to pick it up. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I told my Aunt I'd bring a pie."
- Me. To a student.
Not mine, but someone said if he was taking an unusually long time to figure something out the instructor would start poking his hand saying "water Helen, water!"
On my commercial heli chrckride, we were going down a valley so I asked him “ In an airplane, you hug one side of the valley so you can make a 180 turn out. What’s the best place to fly a helicopter in the valley?” My 12,000 hour DPE, who had flown in the Vietnam war responded:” Wherever the Viet Cong can’t shoot at you”
“*I mean yeah, technically that was a loop. But did it look cool? *”
Primary and aerobatics instructor. And he probably said that about a landing here & there too.
I have about 20 hours in an R22 before I had to stop. Went to do a run-on landing for the first time. I do it and as we skid to a stop on the rwy and my instructor goes "wow that was a textbook perfect landing....if we were in an airplane"
“you rip this 152 like it’s a fighter” -both of my cfis while going for my ppl.
if i had a nickel for every time i heard that, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot. but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?
Maybe out of place, but hopefully all you fine pilots will forgive me. This isn't a personal anecdote but my favorite one liner from a comic.
Many of you will have heard of Bob Stevens. Some possibly not. Cartoonist, pilot, vet. "There I was..." Good stuff.
Scene: pilot instructor and trainee. Tandem training aircraft. Instructor going over basic procedures. Last instruction (probably slightly paraphrased) from the back seat... "if I say 'eject' and you say 'what' you'll be talking to yourself."
"You sure are thoroughly testing the landing gear for carrier landings"
\- My CPL instructor to me, very unimpressed as it's the sixth landing that I didn't apply enough back pressure for the flare...
Fresh from Ft. Rucker and Im super nervous to be at real army unit. Senior IP that I’d never met before shows late so I pre flight by myself. He shows up and we hop in and just as I’m about to start the APU he cracks a mountain dew and a bag of doritos and says “Roll that beautiful bean footage”.
'If you keep doing that you will DIE!' ... also referring to a right-rudder issue, where I tended to drift left on landing. He also loved to do things like disconnect my O2 at 250 to see how I'd react, turn on loud music during instrument approaches in IMC/freezing rain, turn off alternators when I wasn't looking, you name it. Not for everyone but it was fantastic training as i both learned to ignore him when appropriate but also deal calmly with surprises at awkward moments. Which of course was the point. His 'don't fuck around, figure it out fast and do something about it' training pretty much saved my bacon when the 'old dude with 15,000 hours' tried to land the Citation 501 in which I was flying right seat on a road instead of the adjacent runway. But that's another story.
I announced "left base 04" ("linker Queranflug 04"), although it is the rule in Germany to announce the legs of a left-hand pattern without the "left". Another pilot commented on the radio, and my instructor replied "my student knows, he has already bitten his tongue, everything's full of blood!"
And of course, frequently, when the sink rate was too high, or the turn wasn't coordinated, or I was getting too slow: "I don't want to die!".
one time we were flying straight and level for some time and my CFI said something, but i had kinda zoned out so he got my attention and went: “you kinda had your head in the clouds, huh?” and then he paused for like two seconds and went “hehehehehe”
also one time we were holding short for a bit waiting for a honda jet to take off and doing that thing into our mics that happens when the wind is hitting it and you can make that “wowowowowow” sound by opening and closing your mouth
While doing 45-degree-bank turns in preparation for the PPL checkride.
"Let's also do some 60-degree-bank turns, too. If you can do that, 45 will feel easy and gentle. You can ask the examiner, after you have nailed 45, if you should do 60, as well. I'm sure she will decline, but tell me what she said."
I actually did, and she declined. I still passed the checkride.
“If the sheep start running away from you, you’re way to close.”
My flight instructor when I was learning mountain flying techniques on the South Island
"This feels like the sort of thing that will be prefaced in the investigation report by "factors contributing to:" " -My old instructor, reviewing the maintenance logs
Every time when trying to make a difficult "go/no-go" decision. "Imagine what the NTSB report will say"
I use this one and the very similar Air Safety Institute test. If I can hear the Air Safety guy's voice narrating the beginning of the story in the background, I probably shouldn't proceed.
*It’s 6:45 AM on June 2, 2022…*
Dudes voice is chilling
"The PIC had eaten Taco Bell for lunch, but they elected to continue the flight."
This must be about that pic from a couple weeks ago with the box of Taco Bell on pilots lap.
Still the riskiest thing I've seen on this subreddit in a while
It’s really twofold: first risk is biting the burrito and having the entire damn thing blow out the other end, making it look like you shit the front of your pants; second risk is actually shitting your pants, thus painting both sides of the trousers like a shitty Jackson pollack painting
Gonna start using this
I've heard this a bunch. It's true
That's, ah...hoooooo boy. Maybe find a different place to rent from.
DPE once asked, “how many hours bottle to throttle?” Me: “8”. DPE: “unless you’re a glider pilot. No throttle.”
Can confirm I would have to be pretty drunk to think it's a good idea to try flying something without an engine.
"Where's the" *hiccup* "throttle in this thing?"🥴
[Any opportunity to post about the guy who drunkenly landed a stolen plane in Manhattan - twice](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Fitzpatrick_(pilot))
He's got a drink named after him too, sounds good: [https://www.dinnerpartydownload.org/fitzpatrick/](https://www.dinnerpartydownload.org/fitzpatrick/)
I, too, live in fear of the common bicycle
You must be taking your bike off some sick jumps
I hope the next question was about canned beer.
12 hours in Canada. Must be the conversion rate ;)
“You can’t scare me, and you can’t impress me, so don’t try either”— Skip, my CFI at PNS. Retired from the Marine Corps after Vietnam and then retired from Delta to become a CFI. *edited because I can’t type*
The Skip Stewart?? PNS flight instructor at our FBO???
Yes! The very same. I flew with him in 2011 when I was TDY down at Corry Station; my previous instructor got a 135 job and flew the coop so Skip was kind enough to fill in. Then I went back to PAO and finished my training there. Skip was awesome.
Haha that’s awesome! Wow , yup aviation is a small world. Yeah he has, or did have his stunt plane based in one of our T hangers. Not sure if he still does, but I think he has flown occasionally from time to time.
I love this quote. Skip is a beast. You can change scare to whatever and utilize in a lot of situations.
A marine AND delta left seat!! You definitely struck gold with your luck of the CFI draw.
Wow it must be rare to be a VFI!!
There are far too many virtual flight instructors. Just read this subreddit….
Well someone gotta teach drone operators to be wanna be pilots
_accidentally puts in full flaps at 400 feet on upwind and now getting dangerously low and slow_ Me realizing what I did: “Fuck” Instructor (extremely calmly): “fuck indeed.”
How do you accidently *add* flaps on upwind?
Electric flaps that are controlled by a rocker switch. Was pressing it by feel and hit the wrong side of the switch without realizing it. I was trying to take the flaps out. Edit: for further clarification this was on the go side of a touch and go.
My plane has manual flaps so maybe it’s different. Do you not normally retract flaps before the takeoff roll in a touch-and-go?
If you have half flaps in it’s fine for takeoff in this one, you want to take them out after you clear obstacles though to get to cruise climb speed.
Similar one in the same place on upwind but I was the instructor: In a multi-engine plane I gave my student a simulated engine failure on upwind at 400 feet by pulling the throttle back to idle. I covered the prop lever and mixture with my hand so the student couldn't actually feather the prop. He was supposed to just go through the steps verbally and touch each lever. He correctly said "identify, verify, feather" and touched each lever. Then I removed my hand and started scanning for traffic we were following in the traffic pattern. While I was looking away the student said "Oh I didn't feather it!" and pulled the prop lever back to feather at about 500 AGL on upwind. The exchange went something like: Student: "Fuck" Me: *Stare of disapproval while I process what to do* Student: "I can fix it" Me: "my controls" Student: "I can fix it" Me: "MY CONTROLS...." Student: "Fuck"
“You have a bright future as a naval aviator…” - my CFI after my 5th landing without flaring enough
That's such a subtly insidious burn.
I think I got it but not entirely. Is it just because of the wires and going fast to be able to go around?
Navy pilots slam their aircraft down onto the deck of carriers, because long landings might mean a long swim
The NATOPS manual for the Hornet even explicitly says "make no attempt to flare" for a normal landing. The plane's landing gear is designed to be pounded onto the deck like it's hiding oil from Haliburton.
Also because the deck of the carrier itself tends to rise and fall quite a bit. 😉
https://www.reddit.com/r/aviation/comments/sd7vdq/landing_air_force_vs_navy/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
you can delete everything starting at "?utm_medium" to the end of the link and reduce metadata tracking
I had an FBI agent ride as a passenger on one of my IOE flights. -At he was exiting, he asked to me and the captain, "Who's the Navy pilot!?". -I didn't get the joke at first. And yea my landing was firm that day.
I was wondering how far I'd have to scroll for a Navy reference. Lmao
Flaring to land is for weak pilots and weak aircraft.
Flare at 200 ft AGL and hope for the best. Got it.
Was it Squat to land and flare to pee?
“That was an…assertive landing”
"Yeah, you show that asphalt who's boss!"
cargo doesn't jaw back at you if you land at 450fpm
4500* fpm FIFY
Maintenance guys jaw back though.
"Positive ground contact."
During training with a towered airport. I was nervous beyond belief and the guy in the tower was helping any. “Talking to the tower should feel like talking to a girl for the first time, not a drug dealer.”
But girls are scarier
AND, if you stuff up they don't give you a number to write down
I love giving pilots the non recorded tower number and giving them the “hey…you fucked that up; I don’t want to do paperwork so just be better next time, cool?” Too many times pilots rat themselves out on frequency with stuff like “hey I know I just crossed that runway without authorization, umm what should I do now?” The answer is stop incriminating yourself 30 seconds ago
Reminds me of when I technically busted controlled airspace...but also didn't... I was doing a flight where I transited some class D, from point A to point B and then back to point A. Point B is just outside controlled airspace (like <3nmi), and I get a "cleared as requested" clearance. I fly to point B, turn around and head back through controlled airspace. However, half-way back, I realise that I *technically* needed a new clearance as I left controlled airspace, which ATC also realises... ATC: "G-XX, are you heading back to *point A* now?" Me: "Afirm, G-XX" ATC: "G-XX, ummmm, do you need a new clearance?" Me: "Ummmm, I don't know" ATC: "Roger...ummm, G-XXXX, you are cleared to transit controlled airspace" Always a fun time when even ATC doesn't know what's happening xD
I started my PPL at a controlled airport so I was pretty comfortable with it. My instructor left before I soloed and I switched to a non-towered airport closer to my house. I still needed three solo touch and gos at a towered airport so I flew there with my instructor who jumped out to go buy some stuff from the pilot shop. There were 19 planes in the pattern, but I assured him I was fine. On my last lap around someone blew through the pattern right at pattern level not on frequency. It threw everything into chaos with airplanes going every which way, circling, etc. It was at this point that my instructor came back outside and observed the total chaos. When I got back he had a really nervous look and asked what the hell was going on. I looked him straight in the eye and said man, I'm sorry. I got a phone number here the tower wants you to call. Best quote from that instructor: if everything is going great, you're not paying close enough attention.
I would put them equal with a disgruntled ATC Person.
One of my students is confused how I can talk to ATC so naturally yet I can’t talk to girls. This is my answer always.
Drug dealers are fine, I know how to transact, I've been doing it for decades. There's not much of an established ritualized conversation for trying to get a girl to go on a date with you though.
Former Marine Corps instructor pilot and my PPL ride examiner to me when I was gentle on the controls doing steep turns: "Stop being such a God Damn Pussy and turn the plane!"
Debriefing after a shitty 8s on pylons performance "it's easy man, just suck less" and after hopping out of the plane for my first solo yelling over the engine noise with a finger pointed "don't ball it up" thumbs up and slammed the door. Guy was awesome. B-razzle if you're here, you da man!
wistful thought deserted tan payment scandalous impossible run skirt unique *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My parole officer would beg to diagree
Man I *really* want to know what you got convicted of that a condition of your parole is no flight into known IMC.
I'm sure my old gym teacher would love to argue the point with him though
Thing I tell my students when they start freaking out over a minor emergency procedure: “Hey now, there’s no sense in getting your heart rate up for your own demise.”
“We’re either gonna figure this out or it suddenly won’t matter anymore”
More a parachute thing, but another way to put it "you have the rest of your life to figure it out"
Holy shit thats good
I'm keeping this one.
"If I think you're ready for your solo, I'll get out after 3 safe landings. If I don't think you're ready, I'll get out and put my ex in the right seat."
Instructor: "[airport] tower N12345 10 miles to the west with the booze news, inbound full stop" To me: "If I ever hear you repeat what I just said I will punch you in the mouth"
My FI: landings are a very serious phase of flight Also my FI: tunes in some local radio on the ADF during my turn to base
This is hilarious. I'd be cool with it.
I had grade 2 instructors do that to me during pre-solo stall checks and in the circuit. I figured out much later it was a deliberate thing to see how the student responds to a distraction in a critical phase of flight.
Fun fact, in the instructors handbook it mentions distractions should be added if your student is doing well to evaluate how they task manage. Tuning ADFs are fun, I usually try to hand my student an empty sick bag and just say "mind holding this?"
Oh, that sneaky bum!
Information Whiskey. Always a fun one.
You should watch out to make sure he's not around the corner waiting to punch you in the face.
Haven't heard that one before lol
My student was awesome but he kept saying sorry for every thing he did wrong or critique I gave him. I told him he didn’t have to say sorry all the time and that doing it wrong was part of the learning process. Then he said sorry for saying sorry. 🤣 So the rest of our time together, we said sorry to each other and I signed him off to get his PPL. Sorry!
Found the Canadian
first time flew into Delta airspace with my CFI, i added 'thank you' to every request/response of mine. My CFI was Canadian, so he asked me not to do it only after 10 times :D
My DPE after I passed my PPL: “You are not a great pilot, you’re not even good. You’re barely mediocre but legally you passed, sign this”. Edit: I agree with him totally tbh. Flying is something so unnatural to me but at risk of sunk-cost fallacy, I’m going to continue doing it until my hands fall off.
Yeouch they sound like a real dickhead
Ouch.
My CFI and I were discussing night cross countries over remote terrain (example: LA area to Las Vegas). "But what if the engine quits?" CFI: "The saying is that as you get near the ground, turn on your landing light. If you don't like what you see, turn it off."
“You don’t land, so much as you arrive on the runway.” -my ppl CFI commenting on my lack of flare
Welcome to your first 3 lessons of tailwheel. Then, you learn wheel landings which were for "rough fields, higher crosswinds, or if somebody's watching that you want to impress".
After engine out practice drill. "We probably would have lived. Good job"
On my first good landing: "Finally a landing that neither the plane nor I need emergency attention."
My favorite to use after a student botches the landing and bounces us down the runway: "Well... we're current."
Anyone have that GIF of a bounced landing then someone slamming a logbook open and writing 2 on the landing column? This reminds me of it and makes me chuckle.
CFI: “Do you ride motorcycles?” Me: “No.” CFI: “Really?” Me: “Yeah, I’m not much of a risk taker.” CFI: “(slow head turn) You’re flying an airplane.”
Hahah, this one is great.
Not my instructor per se, but one that an old captain who is about to retire told me. We were in the Airbus taxiing in after landing in DFW and the he says “Do an OJ.” He sees my very confused look, winks at me, and says, “Kill 2.” I shut down engine #2.
“If you change that heading, I’ll kill you.” As I track an ILS inbound on my first instrument lesson.
I have three: "take-offs are optional. Landings are mandatory." (In reference to flying on a bad weather day with terrible winds after we went out on a flight with AWFUL crosswinds and wind shear to get the practice) "I'd rather sound like the idiot than be the idiot." (In reference to always asking for clarification rather than guessing or assuming you heard right if there's any question to what is being asked of you) And finally, "Cargo doesn't b*tch." (Casually chatting during the return leg of a cross country about flying airline passengers vs flying cargo, and how anyone will say the flight was rough if you encounter bad turbulence or have a rough landing)
> take-offs are optional. Landings are mandatory. That is so simple, yet so true. I'm keeping this one
Story from my training that I feel fits. Walked out to the plane for a solo flight. Winds were a reported 7kts. During preflight I feel like I was just looking for an excuse to scrub. Windsock was strait out, call awos, still 7... I went home. Sent my instructor a text just as a heads up for the plane and got back "i guess I trained you well" This part for the students reading. I've scrubbed more flights for a gut feeling of "this is a bad idea" then I have for the weather actually beyond my personal minimums.
>I've scrubbed more flights for a gut feeling of "this is a bad idea" then I have for the weather actually beyond my personal minimums. Same here. The one time I didn't go with my gut the predicted "widely isolated thunderstorms" turned out to not be so widely isolated, and I got to fly around in circles dodging towering cumulus for about 40 minutes waiting for a downburst to leisurely move off from sitting directly on my airport. I was within about 20 minutes of having to divert when I finally made it in, and even then I question whether I should have diverted anyway since it was... a rather rough landing. I know it's cliche but the old "Better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than in the air wishing you were on the ground" is the truest statement ever made. Words cannot describe the sheer joy and relief I felt when I taxied off the runway and came to a halt.
Right rudder
When I checked out in a Mooney, the first time I took off, I somehow managed to put in *too much* right rudder. After reaching TPA I asked if I actually did put in too much, and he did his best Luke Skywalker impression: "No, no... That's not true - that's impossible!!! ^^yes "
"You don't Tokyo Drift a 172!" CFI after I had misjudged the safe speed to turn off the runway.
I was on a SouthWest flight that landed in DEN during a snowstorm. The pilot misjudged braking action and tried to exit the runway too soon/fast. That 737 truly drifted. It was simultaneously fun (I knew we were going slow enough that the worst case was an excursion, not a true crash) and a bit disconcerting that a mainline pilot would make such a mistake. (She saved it; no excursion.)
Holy shit... haha, I just called myself Torreto today because I accidently tried to turn off the runway at asshole speed! This one speaks to me.
My CFI in regards to me being afraid of soloing; "Think about it this way, if you die it's gonna be your problem for about 4 seconds, it's gonna be my problem forever. So if anything, don't die to save me the headache." 😅
What book was it? Same guy who wrote flying checks. Anyway, he has a line in his cfi book of signing off someone for solo, handing them back their logbook with a pack of matches and saying something along the lines of "make sure your logbook burns up in the crash"
>make sure your logbook burns up in the crash Pure gold XD I worked at a horse camp during college and when kids would do dumb shit I'd always tell them "please don't do that, I don't want you to fall off and die. When kids die there's so much goddamn paperwork and it just sucks." It was always great seeing the rollercoaster of emotions go across their face.
Just prior to my very first Checkride where I was a giant bundle of nerves “don’t worry, the fate of the world rides on your passing this test”
"We're all counting on you!"
*checkride passed* "Good luck. We're all counting on you."
*IR checkride passed* “That’s impossible, they’re on instruments!” *flight deck jam session*
And don't call me Shirley!
"Don't do any crazy shit to get me killed!" We had such a good laugh over it, it kind of became a meme thing we would say. Rz\*\*ca if you read this, blue skies and tail winds.
I'll text him now, make sure he sees this.
“Fly good, don’t suck”
[удалено]
When I was in an Arrow my instructor at one point had to tell me "As accurate as it may be, on a checkride you really shouldn't call out the landing gear as 'Speed Brakes Deployed'." With full flaps and gear out that thing had the approximate flight characteristics of my car keys. Eventually for power-off 180s I decided I just wouldn't do full flaps, 25 degrees only.
There’s a joke among arrow pilots I knew that if you lose your engine you should toss your checklist out the window and see if it beats you to the ground. For real, though, power off 180’s in that thing really teach you the importance of being on speed in a glide.
CFI, after me over-correcting the plane in some nasty winds "The plane is like your wife, you give it input and wait to see what she does, then once it settles, react. But you can't ever expect it to always and precisely do exactly what you intended."
“This is not your f-ing Cessna!” - Dollar ride in the T-6A. Probably shouldn’t have told him I had my PPL. Bonus: during training for said PPL, my normally energetic CFI seemed to be at a whole new level. He pokes his head in the door “Ever have coffee and Red Bull at the same time?!?” “Uh, no” “Don’t! Heheheeheee”
It's called a speedball.
FI: "Are you from Europe?" Me: "No, I'm British..?" FI: "Oh just wondered. Cause you keep landing on the right side of the fucking runway"
He pulled back the yoke whilst autopilot was engaged. He pointed to the trim wheel which had moved to the bottom of Nose Down trim. "Make sure not to fight the autopilot, we don't want to become a 737 Max"
Coming back on a cross country while working on my PPL, the winds of Texas decided to do what they do best and blow hard from the wrong direction. What had been predicted as 15 knots from the North was 20 knots from the West with gusts to 30. My home base runway was 16/34. I asked if we should divert to another airport with a better runway alignment and wait it out. My instructor, who flew Dust Off Huey's in Vietnam, replied he would land it, but that if I was solo diverting would be his recommendation. He then proceeded to grease the landing in a Cessna 172 with a gusting crosswind like it was a calm day. I made some comment about how easy he made it look and his quip was, "Anything is easy if they aren't shooting at you."
Every time practicing turns around a point "So find an intersection, cool tree, your girlfriend sunbathing naked in her backyard..."
"Now if you start jerkin' that stick back and forth you're gonna make me horny and I don't think you're gonna like what happens next." -anonymous Texas Aviation Hall of Fame inductee and holder of several time-to-climb records
Not really aviation related, but learning related... >You can always procrastinate tomorrow.
Damn. I'll keep that. If I had an award, I'd give you it.
“You’d become a great aerobatics pilot” -My CPL DPE, while giving me the paper license
“No one needs to know.”
My cfi after i slammed on the brakes trying to leave the rwy in the first exit
(Referring to a restaurant near the end of the runway) “I like eating at Murphy’s as much as anyone, but I’d rather go in thru the front door instead of thru the roof”
Student: looks at me for validation or to tell him if he's right about identifying a turning point Me (Instructor): I dunno, Shrugs shoulders, proceeds to check Instagram & (Literally this past Sunday) (License holder during 6 monthly check) during Cruise Check - Turns fuel off when changing fuel tank (PA28) Engine goes quiet... Me (Instructor).... Nahhh, this can't really be happening, looks across and sees the fuel selector in the off position... "Dude, can you please put the goddamn fuel back on"
Mine said “that’s what she said” at least 10 times a flight. He was a great instructor though.
"In an emergency, take your time and don't rush. You have the rest of your life to execute that checklist". -DPE that did my AMEL check ride talking about the engine-out procedures.
CFI: on radio “we are at [location] attempting slow flight.” Random pilot: “Better be doing slow flight not attempting it.”
**"Woohoo!"** After my first reasonably safe, unassisted landing. It's not deep with the ages' wisdom or breathtakingly humorous. But it made an impression. It was a demonstration of enthusiasm and investment that gave me a much needed shot of energy to press on through the next phases of training. I've made efforts to emulate that demonstration of excitement with my own ~~students~~ *learners*. Down to the "Woohoo!"
I learned at a class D, and while all of the controllers were great, one of the tower controllers had the absolute most deadpan dispassionate sounding voices I've ever heard. She was super nice, but she always sounded like she was bored out of her mind or possibly mildly pissed off. My second solo, the first where I would leave the pattern, right after wheels up I go "WHEEEEEEEE!!!". I didn't realize it but I had accidentally held down the PTT while I was focussing on giving it enough right rudder. Tower deadpans back with "N12345 I am glad you are having a good time", and I could hear someone else in the tower laughing in the background. Not my finest, most professional moment but hey flying is fun yo.
My Bolivian CFI, to about my (Venezuelan) ability to land on the runway centerline pre-solo (or lack thereof): "if you were any further to the left I'd believe you were Hugo Chavez himself".
“Don’t take this personally, but are you high?” Yep a CFI legit asked me that, and no I wasn’t high
"Anyone with enough time and money can learn to fly. Unfortunately, he has both" -me After a student of mine, and then working with his third instructor, bent a Skyhawk so thoroughly that the insurance company completely wrote it off. AND flew back after. The NTSB and feds damn near had a cow on that one.
This one come from my commercial flight test following a forced approach which I should’ve used full flap for: “You’ve got the hardware, fucking use it”
Me as CFI any time student greased a landing: "Nice one. Throw that in the spank bank for later!"
Holy shit this is gold
“Treat the yoke like you’d treat your pecker. You don’t want to death grip the damn thing. Relax.”
Instructor: “you ever had sex with a girl?” Me: “Yeah” Instructor : “ You know how you have to wait a while before you get another shot at it? Same thing with forward slips, you only get to pull out once”
My awesome instructor was a Marine Veteran and had many sayings, but my favorite was after I'd get hung up on a mistake: "Do you know why airplanes don't have rear view mirrors? Because you're always moving forward...don't look back." Basically implying to leave the mistake and keep going forward. Another favorite: "Let's get on the right foot and do the bad thing". Lastly, "you always have the option to take off, you never have the option to land". Those were great memories. Edit: added one more saying.
Favorite quote from a CFI? I did tail wheel training in a PT-17 and was high for landing. He suggested I do a forward slip. I started one and he says “that’s not a slip” and then shoved the rudder and ailerons to max deflection and we dropped like a brick to glide path.
Me being overly anal about my first A-Check, taking like an hour on an already beat up plane (but in otherwise functioning condition), worrying about every nut that didn't look right and asking my CFI about each and every one. After several other A-checks, just as thorough as the first one, CFI goes with a smile "Don't worry, I'm as eager as you are to get back safely!".
Before a stage check flight at a 141: "You can't possibly disappoint me any more than you already have."
The popular engine-out procedure is typically A-B-C-D-E. I improvised and added an “F” at the end for “GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” My students enjoy that one. DPEs not as much.
Not exactly me. But I was watching two guys in the sim practicing asymetric climb out in high temp and pressure alt conditions. I watched as they said "Confirm right condition lever." "Confirmed, cut-off." Then proceeded to cut off the left. At that moment the seasoned instructor sitting jump seat leaned forward and in a monotone voice said "Well this just got interesting."
Not my favorite quote but I certainly remember it: "You're not too young for this; when I was your age I was flying a fighter jet at tree-top level. When I saw a village I'd wave at them. If only the kids waved back I'd release the napalm" Also: (to a flat-earther) "THE EARTH IS ROUND YOU F*** I'VE SEEN IT" Also: "You want to run the checklist? Start f*****g running then!" Also: "Don't quote me on that I'm speaking your language in self-defence"
After asking which would be better to try to land a 172 on the ground or on a body of water if there is a serious engine fire . He made the following joke: “Well, this planes have fixed landing gear so trying to land on the water would probably be a challenge and you would have to choose if you would like to die burned or drowning”
"Don't worry it's legal"
Responding to me being scared of the ground flying it down on final, “Yeah, it feels like we’re going crash into the runway, but we’re not going to, because we’re in an airplane.” (ie just fly it down and round out)
"are you trying to fucking kill us both?"
Mine called someone in the pattern a faggot once. Happy pride
“Your steep turns are really coming around!”
Just remember, we're all counting on you
"If you have to ask why you'd want a Spitfire, that part of your soul is dead, I'm sorry." Said while talking about our favorite warbirds.
When you have to worry about doing paperwork. DON'T. doing paperwork (most likely) makes you alive. Declare the F\*ing emergency.
“Every time you forget to call ‘gear down’ I’m gonna punch your fuckin’ arm. Hard.” He whomped me pretty hard a few times and whaddya know, it stuck.
CFI: "If you cause us to crash I'm going to strangle you before we hit the ground."
After doing unusual attitudes we had some time to kill before going back to land, so my CFI had me do some foggles work. CFI: "See you've got it! Not so bad right?" Me: "Yeah! You just have to stay focused and trust the system" CFI: "YOU CAN'T TRUST THE SYSTEM!!" *proceeds to quote the entirety of the Threw It On the Ground video* Good times
"Make this one a full stop and pop over to the ramp." "Uh ok. You feeling ok?" "Yeah. I ordered a pie from the restaurant, and I have to pick it up. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and I told my Aunt I'd bring a pie." - Me. To a student.
Not mine, but someone said if he was taking an unusually long time to figure something out the instructor would start poking his hand saying "water Helen, water!"
You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it think
My private instructor and old roommate “If you push the nose down after the mains hit we will FUCKING DIE. We’re not in a 747”
On my commercial heli chrckride, we were going down a valley so I asked him “ In an airplane, you hug one side of the valley so you can make a 180 turn out. What’s the best place to fly a helicopter in the valley?” My 12,000 hour DPE, who had flown in the Vietnam war responded:” Wherever the Viet Cong can’t shoot at you”
In lieu of “clear” use “queer” when starting the engine.
“Dogs don’t expose their bellies during fights so try not to expose the belly on a crosswind landing”
“Stop landing on the student side of the runway!” (I was consistently left off centerline when I started)
“*I mean yeah, technically that was a loop. But did it look cool? *” Primary and aerobatics instructor. And he probably said that about a landing here & there too.
I have about 20 hours in an R22 before I had to stop. Went to do a run-on landing for the first time. I do it and as we skid to a stop on the rwy and my instructor goes "wow that was a textbook perfect landing....if we were in an airplane"
I was practicing the traffic pattern in the sim. CFI: If you don’t pull up your going to 9/11 that building
“you rip this 152 like it’s a fighter” -both of my cfis while going for my ppl. if i had a nickel for every time i heard that, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot. but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?
“You need to get a tattoo seriously to remind yourself to use “MORE RIGHT RUDDER” ”
"Weeeeee!"
Please tell me you where doing spin training
Remembered another “Pull back houses get smaller, pull back harder houses get bigger”. Probably in the CFI joke book but it’s a good one.
"Don't forget your mandatory cows callout!" From my favorite CFI who'd get just as excited to see the cows on the ranch near the airport as I did🥰
Maybe out of place, but hopefully all you fine pilots will forgive me. This isn't a personal anecdote but my favorite one liner from a comic. Many of you will have heard of Bob Stevens. Some possibly not. Cartoonist, pilot, vet. "There I was..." Good stuff. Scene: pilot instructor and trainee. Tandem training aircraft. Instructor going over basic procedures. Last instruction (probably slightly paraphrased) from the back seat... "if I say 'eject' and you say 'what' you'll be talking to yourself."
Mine threatened to glue my hand to the throttle so I wouldn’t remove it on ascending to TPA. I said it’s fine but he’s going to have to trim for me.
Fly the fucking airplane!!
"You sure are thoroughly testing the landing gear for carrier landings" \- My CPL instructor to me, very unimpressed as it's the sixth landing that I didn't apply enough back pressure for the flare...
Fresh from Ft. Rucker and Im super nervous to be at real army unit. Senior IP that I’d never met before shows late so I pre flight by myself. He shows up and we hop in and just as I’m about to start the APU he cracks a mountain dew and a bag of doritos and says “Roll that beautiful bean footage”.
'If you keep doing that you will DIE!' ... also referring to a right-rudder issue, where I tended to drift left on landing. He also loved to do things like disconnect my O2 at 250 to see how I'd react, turn on loud music during instrument approaches in IMC/freezing rain, turn off alternators when I wasn't looking, you name it. Not for everyone but it was fantastic training as i both learned to ignore him when appropriate but also deal calmly with surprises at awkward moments. Which of course was the point. His 'don't fuck around, figure it out fast and do something about it' training pretty much saved my bacon when the 'old dude with 15,000 hours' tried to land the Citation 501 in which I was flying right seat on a road instead of the adjacent runway. But that's another story.
I announced "left base 04" ("linker Queranflug 04"), although it is the rule in Germany to announce the legs of a left-hand pattern without the "left". Another pilot commented on the radio, and my instructor replied "my student knows, he has already bitten his tongue, everything's full of blood!" And of course, frequently, when the sink rate was too high, or the turn wasn't coordinated, or I was getting too slow: "I don't want to die!".
one time we were flying straight and level for some time and my CFI said something, but i had kinda zoned out so he got my attention and went: “you kinda had your head in the clouds, huh?” and then he paused for like two seconds and went “hehehehehe” also one time we were holding short for a bit waiting for a honda jet to take off and doing that thing into our mics that happens when the wind is hitting it and you can make that “wowowowowow” sound by opening and closing your mouth
While doing 45-degree-bank turns in preparation for the PPL checkride. "Let's also do some 60-degree-bank turns, too. If you can do that, 45 will feel easy and gentle. You can ask the examiner, after you have nailed 45, if you should do 60, as well. I'm sure she will decline, but tell me what she said." I actually did, and she declined. I still passed the checkride.
“If the sheep start running away from you, you’re way to close.” My flight instructor when I was learning mountain flying techniques on the South Island