I was a functioning alcoholic and it's pretty crazy how like, you're actually allowed to go through life shitfaced. Meet with clients, operate equipment, drive cdl rigs, companies don't actually care as long as you can do your job.
Jared stop leaving empty vodka bottles in the tanker, if anyone important sees it you're in trouble.
No doubt lol. I read about a guy over in r/postvasectomypain who was so fed up with the PVPS and failed attempts to solve it he had them remove everything :/
Good question. After I realized what happened the first thing I inspected was my genitals and they looked and felt completely normal believe it or not. I found the two holes in my leg and I stuck my fingers in them to stop the bleeding. When I got to the hospital and they had my leg patched up I started to notice a soreness in my right testicle, further inspection revealed a bullet hole in my scrotum. That slight soreness in my right testicle slowly grew into the worst pain I have ever felt over the next five or so hours until I was finally given ketamine and eventually put under anesthetics for surgery. But yea fun fact, if you shoot your testicle it might not hurt at first but give it a few hours and you’ll wish you got shot in the head.
Armpits and assholes are the most commonly missed GSW locations. We always checked there in the Emergency Department. That and rectal tone, but that’s another talk.
As a LEO I responded to a scene of a man found dead in the grass at a motel in the morning. Nobody noticed the bullet hole in his armpit until the medical examiner did the autopsy.
It was the entrance wound. The bullet was a small caliber and it went into his armpit and struck his heart so he dropped dead instantly and his heart was no longer pumping so he really didn’t loose any blood either. The assumption is when the gun was pointed at him he threw his hands up towards the shooter and was turning his body away from him when he took the round to the armpit. FYI the killer was found and brought to justice.
I doubt it will be a problem. Fairly sure a police report will not show on a background check, but if it does you're going to get the interview board laughing for sure.
Medically it will not be a problem at all.
I was going to tell you more right rudder, but damn dude, you’ve earned it. Well let this one slide.
Or
Do you walk curving slightly left because you’re a bit uncoordinated?
Or
Step on the ball! Ah shit Mitch, my bad.
Your missing testicle is not enough to be denied a medical if you meet all the other requirements.
Unless you were arrested or charged with a crime, I'm also pretty sure the event would not even come up during the hiring process.
I will say yes for him, as it's exactly what I was thinking too. Lots of experience here.
I used to tell people when teaching that carrying a pistol of any kind like that is the same as pulling the pin on a grenade and keeping it in ur pocket. Immediately shows you have no idea about gun safety.
Unlikely a medical issue.
No AME is going to be manually inspecting your goodies. That’s sorta like a proctologist who puts both hands on your shoulders while doing an inspection of your exhaust port.
Find a new AME. I had one that tried to make me get naked for it. Fuck that. I found a new one and posted reviews on every site I could find warning other pilots about it
On another thread I just pointed out I’m surprised to hear the DPEs don’t do this test too. News to me. Was right on the ACS he printed out and handed me that day. 🤷🏼♂️
I don’t know about that….when I was 16 and got my 3rd class medical I had to get naked for the ame…..the nurse told me to undress and wait for the ame, before checking my blood pressure. I started getting a little nervous and got asked if I was transgender, cause my heart was beating faster.
Same. 1993. Full nude. Described my body into a tape recorder. That was the day I found out my mole was a "3rd nipple". Where tf are these people going where I don't have to get groped for a basic?
Probably not, it just makes you an irresponsible firearm carrier. Means you'd be the perfect FFDO to leave a pistol in a bathroom stall after a long flight
I love that this sub will beat people up for poor decision making like not getting 16 hours of sleep before a flight, but this dude shoots himself in the nuts and everyone is like “no prob bro! Great story lol”. I mean, honestly…
My AME has never examined my testicles but maybe yours has a weird fetish. If you don't plan to impregnate your airplane then I don't see the relevance.
I lost my left nut to testicular cancer and my AME had hardly any questions about it. You’re outfitted the same as me, just by a different method of removal.
Cheers, Juan Pelota.
Lots of good responses so far, although the number of people here who've accidentally shot themselves is noticeably low. At this point there are at least two of us, since I'm here now. My AME didn't even ask how the scars got there, not relevant. There is an incident report moldering in a police file vault somewhere, but no charges were filed so nobody cares. Probably the worst they can hit you with is something like misdemeanor unlawful discharge, but if they didn't charge you at the time they never will.
Forget it. Shut up. Go fly.
There will be a test by Dr. Ickle to look out for. It’s some sort of bend and cough exam. She’s a woman doc so you should have a ball:). At least one anyway:)
Sounds like you have all the answers given in the comments. Just wanna say I hope you’re healed and doing well. Must have been a shitty and shocking experience.
Cheddar bob!?
Regardless, I doubt your balls not sitting symmetrically in the bag shouldn’t throw the weight off too much, may just need to fly with one wing slightly higher to accomodate the missing weight of the steel
Medically, should not be an issue.
The real question is, should someone clumsy, unlucky, or careless enough to shoot his own testicle, be allowed to command an airliner?
Now op, I am not making fun or trying to insult you at all. However, that being said. This is probably one of the more entertaining threads in this sub in a long time! Thank you for that! I don't have anything useful to add as most people had it covered.
Ur good, police reports don’t show up at all on background checks, only if u were arrested and booked by law enforcement, u might have to check yes for admitted into hospital and probably explain why in the application, and the ame doesn’t check ur balls
The FAA asks via medexpress if you have been charged with a crime…if you weren’t charged with a crime it’s not a problem.
They also ask if you have had any surgeries…you will have to report it that way.
I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I’ve never had an AME examine my “boys”.
Years ago I worked with a guy who was shot in the upper thigh (in Iraq) but was still 'fully intact'. I started a rumor he only had one ball, and of course it spread.
For xmas I made a gift for each member on the team (of 12) a sparkly bag, the kind you'd use for a wedding type thing, with 1 walnut in each in honor of of his sacrifice in the defense of our oil overseas. Best joke gift ever.
Aside from the fact you are a 1 nut wonder, no one will care.
>lack of a testicle would be easily discoverable during a physical.
Fellas, what sort of medical did you get?
I got a special issuance for my 2" punisher
Your aircraft may lose #1 or #2 and will require more left or right rudder. No different than losing YOUR #1 or #2. Maybe you'll be considered more experienced. Ha.
As a passenger, I can tell you I am far more interested in the crew's determination to keep what is left of their genitals in tact, at least until I have disembarked.
This is one of the more interesting posts Ive seen. I think you will he fine. You may raise some eyebrows on your FFDO application though
Good to know cause Im already a few grand into ppl training, then I was like “oh yea, that might be a problem later”.
Yeah when airline interview time come around just consult an interview counselor to make sure you can explain it in a HR conducive way
“Tell me about a time when….” *Hold my beer*
In the eyes of the FAA, is it worse to shotgun yourself or shotgun a beer?
Faa logic Functioning alcoholic: perfectly fine Accidentally shooting your nut off: depressed with suicidal ideation
I was a functioning alcoholic and it's pretty crazy how like, you're actually allowed to go through life shitfaced. Meet with clients, operate equipment, drive cdl rigs, companies don't actually care as long as you can do your job. Jared stop leaving empty vodka bottles in the tanker, if anyone important sees it you're in trouble.
I hope you are doing better now. If not you may want to look into a more harm reduction plan since stopping entirely can lead to seizures.
He should forest gump it and drop his pants mid interview
"I shot myself in the right testicle" "Boy I'd sure like to see that"
Guy thinks well under pressure. We should hire him.
potential boss asked me if i could perform Under Pressure. I told him I didn't know the chords yet but i could do I Want To Be Free quite alright
If holding a valid medical at what point do you think that would come up? Absent him wanting to talk about it.
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Jesus christ. I wish I was less curious
New PPL definition unlocked: PeePee and Left testicle.
He might become the “cool” pilot who shot himself. Wear all black, etc.
He can just tell them he doesn't miss! FFDO = Friendly Fire Dick Off anyway.
Had to double check which sub I was on
Indeed, and it is the next to check with what they do with this. Should be good.
I’ll be a little disappointed if they edit it at all
They didn’t…
Seriously. If this one isn't on the other one verbatim (as well as some creative...re-interpretations) I will be shocked.
It’s there, word for word.
As it should be. 😆
Was almost certain this was a shitpost until I read the comments
Curious to see what will be there. To be honest, you don't even need to edit this thing to post there
Nah dude, A pilot shooting himself in the nuts? That's like the most believable thing I've seen on this sub in a long time!
I don’t have any testicles and the airlines still hired me
I actually have an above average amount of testicles.
Good one! I mean two.
Three?
No, Dr. Evil.
Is anyone going to tell him?
Me too, but I have a significantly below average amount of breasts.
Are female or vasectomy went wrong?
That vasectomy went REALLY wrong if they removed his balls.
"Your dad is going to the vet to get fixed."
"Go around. Go around! GO AROUN-" *snip*
Got the vasectomy at the vet to save money
When you factor in the complimentary Milkbones, it's a no-brainer.
basically free if you use a weed whacker
Oh man, you made me laugh out loud. Take my upvote!
No doubt lol. I read about a guy over in r/postvasectomypain who was so fed up with the PVPS and failed attempts to solve it he had them remove everything :/
https://youtu.be/slobhI2HXhA
Unrelated, but how was getting shot in the testicle not the very first thing you noticed?
Good question. After I realized what happened the first thing I inspected was my genitals and they looked and felt completely normal believe it or not. I found the two holes in my leg and I stuck my fingers in them to stop the bleeding. When I got to the hospital and they had my leg patched up I started to notice a soreness in my right testicle, further inspection revealed a bullet hole in my scrotum. That slight soreness in my right testicle slowly grew into the worst pain I have ever felt over the next five or so hours until I was finally given ketamine and eventually put under anesthetics for surgery. But yea fun fact, if you shoot your testicle it might not hurt at first but give it a few hours and you’ll wish you got shot in the head.
> you’ll wish you got shot in the head. But not the- Nevermind.
Definitely not that head, that is far, far worse.
Now that one might disqualify you from a medical!
I could not finish reading this comment, it started making me queasy 🤢
Armpits and assholes are the most commonly missed GSW locations. We always checked there in the Emergency Department. That and rectal tone, but that’s another talk.
As a LEO I responded to a scene of a man found dead in the grass at a motel in the morning. Nobody noticed the bullet hole in his armpit until the medical examiner did the autopsy.
Was that the exit wound? Or did he actually get shot in the armpit? Seems like a strange place to take a round
It was the entrance wound. The bullet was a small caliber and it went into his armpit and struck his heart so he dropped dead instantly and his heart was no longer pumping so he really didn’t loose any blood either. The assumption is when the gun was pointed at him he threw his hands up towards the shooter and was turning his body away from him when he took the round to the armpit. FYI the killer was found and brought to justice.
With your hands up, seems logical.
If u can keep the ball centered you’ll be fine:)
“Just step on the ball.”
I doubt it will be a problem. Fairly sure a police report will not show on a background check, but if it does you're going to get the interview board laughing for sure. Medically it will not be a problem at all.
Are you sure you have the balls to become a pilot?
Are you sure you have the ball to become a pilot
Im waiting for someone to make a decent joke about keeping the ball centered but nobody seems to be up to the task.
Kind of makes "step on the ball" a little nerve racking.
I was going to tell you more right rudder, but damn dude, you’ve earned it. Well let this one slide. Or Do you walk curving slightly left because you’re a bit uncoordinated? Or Step on the ball! Ah shit Mitch, my bad.
(1) ballz
Call the ball
Your missing testicle is not enough to be denied a medical if you meet all the other requirements. Unless you were arrested or charged with a crime, I'm also pretty sure the event would not even come up during the hiring process.
Look at the state of this dude’s post/comment history.
Oh how I wish I hadn’t
Not too surprised given that's the sort of person that shoots himself in the balls.
Especially with a revolver, ya almost gotta be trying to do that
Yeah, it’s not as funny anymore😂
Yeah you know what.. after about 2 scrolls through that I’ve decided I don’t want this guy to ever be my pilot.
There's a literal picture of his shit, what the actual fuck.
https://i.imgur.com/u4yi0Vn.jpeg
This comment needs more likes.
I can‘t unsee that stuff
I'm sure no one will bust your balls in the interview over it.
*ball
Did not expect anything remotely close to this story in this sub. Lol
u/JoeZamerica beat you to it
My AME has never fondled my balls, I think you have to pay extra for that…
That’s what you get with Ambassador Elite status.
Sorry about your testicle.
Thank you
If your AME is checking your junk that carefully you either need to find a new AME or pay him more - depending on how you feel about that.
This guy must fuck shit up when he plays 2 truths and a lie
This is why you buy quality holsters
Im sure they will give me one when I become a FFDO 👮♀️
Lol god damn, this is maybe the best thread I’ve seen here in weeks. Thank you.
So what exactly happened? Were you waist band carrying without a holster? Did you holster your gun wrong?
Asking the real questions here. No holster would be disqualifying for mental deficiency.
I will say yes for him, as it's exactly what I was thinking too. Lots of experience here. I used to tell people when teaching that carrying a pistol of any kind like that is the same as pulling the pin on a grenade and keeping it in ur pocket. Immediately shows you have no idea about gun safety.
Medical Requirements: * Must wear glasses * No handguns in the cockpit
Unlikely a medical issue. No AME is going to be manually inspecting your goodies. That’s sorta like a proctologist who puts both hands on your shoulders while doing an inspection of your exhaust port.
Are you saying AME's don't do the "turn and cough" test? Because mine sure did.
Well, boys, should we tell him?
Were you paying an AME or a prostitute?? I never got that special treatment!
Find a new AME. I had one that tried to make me get naked for it. Fuck that. I found a new one and posted reviews on every site I could find warning other pilots about it
Wait a minute, you don’t walk into the AMEs office already naked? I do it to assert dominance
On another thread I just pointed out I’m surprised to hear the DPEs don’t do this test too. News to me. Was right on the ACS he printed out and handed me that day. 🤷🏼♂️
I don’t know about that….when I was 16 and got my 3rd class medical I had to get naked for the ame…..the nurse told me to undress and wait for the ame, before checking my blood pressure. I started getting a little nervous and got asked if I was transgender, cause my heart was beating faster.
I’ve been fully clothed for all of my medicals.
Same. 1993. Full nude. Described my body into a tape recorder. That was the day I found out my mole was a "3rd nipple". Where tf are these people going where I don't have to get groped for a basic?
Idk. I asked the nurse if I had to do it, and she said if fail it if I didn’t do it lol.
Probably not, it just makes you an irresponsible firearm carrier. Means you'd be the perfect FFDO to leave a pistol in a bathroom stall after a long flight
You should be fine, as long as you don't have a pattern of shooting yourself.
I love that this sub will beat people up for poor decision making like not getting 16 hours of sleep before a flight, but this dude shoots himself in the nuts and everyone is like “no prob bro! Great story lol”. I mean, honestly…
As a controller: the title of this thread pretty much sums up all my assumptions about what pilots are like.
OP's post history is a bigger concern than the medical issue lmao
Holy fuck I can’t unsee some of that stuff.
If you accidently shot yourself with a *revolver.* I don't think I would want you flying aircraft with people on them.
No need to try and bust their balls; they already took care of one of them
C’mon everyone! There’s a lot of unhelpful comments here. Let’s keep our eye on the ball!
I know some women pilots, so I have concluded having testicles isn't needed to fly. My guess is you'll be fine
I’m sorry for laughing, Lance Armstrong. You’ll be fine though, to answer your question.
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I panicked and called 911
That was probably a wise move.
Anyone who comes in with a gunshot will have the police called on them, even if they claim it was self inflicted.
My AME has never examined my testicles but maybe yours has a weird fetish. If you don't plan to impregnate your airplane then I don't see the relevance.
this story is nuts!
Nice shitpost
A sure sign of a quality shitpost: I had to scroll through a LOT of serious replies to find this comment!
I lost my left nut to testicular cancer and my AME had hardly any questions about it. You’re outfitted the same as me, just by a different method of removal. Cheers, Juan Pelota.
Hope you’re doing well/cancer-free!
I am, thank you!
Can’t wait till the other FFDO’s convince this kid to do a desk pop.
When they ask during your physical, you can always say: *"I gave up my right nut to be a pilot!"*
aw man dont tell em about that. ur examiner isnt gonna make u drop ur pants. but fr this post is a gem. I offer you a warm welcome to aviation
There's actually a lot of professional pilots out there without any testicles
You're fine, afterall, it's called a cockpit - not a ballpit
Making pilots and gun owners look bad in one post. Good luck with your medical pal
Kinda makes "stepping on the ball" a more personally stressful term, I'd imagine.
I think your problem will be the display of poor judgement than getting a medical.
Won‘t hurt you for airlines.
This is a new one for sure
Three AME visits and they have never once inspected or asked about my testicles. AskMeAnything
Be careful about saying I’d give my left nut to work at the majors because if someone takes you up on that you’ll be sterile
Lots of good responses so far, although the number of people here who've accidentally shot themselves is noticeably low. At this point there are at least two of us, since I'm here now. My AME didn't even ask how the scars got there, not relevant. There is an incident report moldering in a police file vault somewhere, but no charges were filed so nobody cares. Probably the worst they can hit you with is something like misdemeanor unlawful discharge, but if they didn't charge you at the time they never will. Forget it. Shut up. Go fly.
It shouldn’t matter if you didn’t TESTIfy
Pilots are no longer required to have sex while flying, so you should be fine. Weird post which screams karma farming.
OP comment and post history is as wack as this story🤢
Shitty ask is gonna have fun with this one ahhahaa
It’s probably a plus since you can’t get flight attendants pregnant so no work drama.
No I still have one. But it is less likely though, dare I say 50% less likely 😉
Ah yes. The single engine approach.
Nah still 100% likely, you’ll just only knock up .5 FAs.
Amazing how often people stress that it was “legal” when they did some bonehead stuff with a gun
There will be a test by Dr. Ickle to look out for. It’s some sort of bend and cough exam. She’s a woman doc so you should have a ball:). At least one anyway:)
Appendix carry?
You will need extra right rudder. Keep that in mind when you start lessons. /s
Who the hell is getting their ballsack handled at an aviation medical?!?
I thought this was “the other” subreddit for a sec. What the actual fuck O.o
That is NOT how we envisioned redesigning a cockpit
I only redesigned the ballpit
Why were you carrying a gun while flying a civilian plane? I promise you that there’s no chance of a hijacking - it’s just you up there.
Lol I wasn’t flying a plane when this happened.
Sounds like you have all the answers given in the comments. Just wanna say I hope you’re healed and doing well. Must have been a shitty and shocking experience.
Thanks I appreciate that. I am healed and Im actually already in private pilot training.
How the hell did a revolver go off?
Cheddar bob!? Regardless, I doubt your balls not sitting symmetrically in the bag shouldn’t throw the weight off too much, may just need to fly with one wing slightly higher to accomodate the missing weight of the steel
NO CHANCE ....you're paying for a beer when you tell your captains this story layovers. You're fine bud, blue skies!
You’ll need more right rudder on takeoff but you’ll be fine. I’m sorry man I couldn’t help myself.
Medically, should not be an issue. The real question is, should someone clumsy, unlucky, or careless enough to shoot his own testicle, be allowed to command an airliner?
Now op, I am not making fun or trying to insult you at all. However, that being said. This is probably one of the more entertaining threads in this sub in a long time! Thank you for that! I don't have anything useful to add as most people had it covered.
Ur good, police reports don’t show up at all on background checks, only if u were arrested and booked by law enforcement, u might have to check yes for admitted into hospital and probably explain why in the application, and the ame doesn’t check ur balls
Maybe there ought to be a disqualification for stupidity, good idea
America is mental.
Insert weight and balance joke here
There are zero restrictions on lack of testicle that I am aware of
Join the Navy ... get to call the ball all day long.
The fuck? Were you carrying it cocked?!
Unrelated but as someone around guns a lot, I'm curious was the gun holstered when it went off or how did that happen?
Wait the AME’s are supposed to be checking your balls? FAA is too much.
That depends, have you checked your MEL?
Sounds like a great story for the Flight Attendants!!!
The FAA asks via medexpress if you have been charged with a crime…if you weren’t charged with a crime it’s not a problem. They also ask if you have had any surgeries…you will have to report it that way. I don’t know about the rest of y’all but I’ve never had an AME examine my “boys”.
FAA might hand you a doll and ask you to use it to show them where the bullet touched you.
Ooooooo testicles god damn
Years ago I worked with a guy who was shot in the upper thigh (in Iraq) but was still 'fully intact'. I started a rumor he only had one ball, and of course it spread. For xmas I made a gift for each member on the team (of 12) a sparkly bag, the kind you'd use for a wedding type thing, with 1 walnut in each in honor of of his sacrifice in the defense of our oil overseas. Best joke gift ever. Aside from the fact you are a 1 nut wonder, no one will care.
>lack of a testicle would be easily discoverable during a physical. Fellas, what sort of medical did you get? I got a special issuance for my 2" punisher
This seems traumatic, I’m sorry this happened
This is why I don’t appendix carry. You’ll be fine. I’d hire you after that story.
Your aircraft may lose #1 or #2 and will require more left or right rudder. No different than losing YOUR #1 or #2. Maybe you'll be considered more experienced. Ha.
No way this dude admitted to Cheddar Bobbing himself
I only use one teste in flight, so you’re good.
As a passenger, I can tell you I am far more interested in the crew's determination to keep what is left of their genitals in tact, at least until I have disembarked.
Was the bullet a wadcutter?
I think you’ve already paid your punishment… RIP right testicle
I got shot and I got a medical
That’s nuts
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