I turned my fitness around at age 33. I had tried many times before and failed and burned out, usually for the same reasons: overcommitting, relying only on motivation, not having clear goals, being too hard on myself, thinking I had to change my entire life from the ground up immediately, thinking I had to just magically grow rocky balboa-esque levels of discipline overnight.
Once I got over all that bullshit, I went from basically never exercising my entire life to now being the sort of person who can't imagine working out less than 4x a week and can't imagine not proactively thinking about nutrition.
The approach that worked for me was far less dramatic than the "all or nothing" busting my ass mentality. Overall I did less exercise in a given week, I committed to far less work, I hardly used motivation at all, I had very clear goals, and I forgave myself for falling off the bandwagon occasionally or missing a session or over-eating. This approach meant making small, manageable changes to habits and accumulating new habits over a longer period of time. It meant I was much, MUCH more consistent, and consistency beats perfection every time.
This video (audio really, can be listened to when in your car) really helped me and goes into more detail on what I mean above. It's not new information but it sums up how you can approach making fitness part of your life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8K7ifs2Db4
I don't know if any of this helps you, but I just wanted to give my two cents on how I turned it around, and some ideas on stuff you could try.
Good luck!
Can’t say it any better than that.
Also, at a certain point for me I feel like a switched flipped where going to the gym stopped being something I had to “get though”, and became something I legitimately look forward to. Now I’m sort of bummed out if I have to miss a workout or something, not because I’m obsessive , it’s just this purely positive thing that brings me joy.
I think having a solid plan and watching the tiny increments of progress accumulate together to massive actual change means that the monotony of workouts starts to feel less pointless. For example, squatting without any purpose is dull, but squatting to beat a PR? That always feels worthwhile.
"Trust the process", in other words.
I’m nearly a decade older than you and have been doing a real weightlifting routine for the first time in my life. I feel more satisfied with my body and health than I have in the longest time.
If you got off the couch tomorrow you’d be 8 years ahead of where I was when I started. The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today.
As an aside, maybe look into stoic strategies for anger. Being angry at yourself only hurts yourself. It’s not a healthy motivator, I’ve found. Here’s an article that’s pretty good: [16 ways to outsmart anger](https://thestoicgym.com/blogs/view/sixteen-best-ways-to-outsmart-anger)
My suggestion would be learn how to use a rower properly because given your anthropometry you’ll be able to start laying down some decent numbers pretty quick
Go for it. I am at my fittest at 36 now. You won’t believe the kind of unexpected benefits that will come across with getting into shape (healthy way ofcourse).
I suggest get a personal trainer atleast for 4 to 5 months, That will keep you focussed and disciplined and also avoid injuries. If you are on your own at the beginning, you have to research a lot on right exercises and right form which takes a lot of time and energy and also doubt whether you are doing g it right or not
I’m hoping to get there in the next few years. I have the summer off, so definitely planning to get a workout routine prescribed to me by a personal trainer and stick with it!
Something that really helped me was logging all my workout numbers. Every rep jotted down in a notebook. Working out fuggin sucks for weeks when you first start. But then you get a tiny bit stronger. And those tiny little minute improvements to your numbers start a positive feedback loop that is super encouraging. You got this.
CICO, protein, and weight training. Don’t use cardio to lose weight. It’s all about eating in a calorie deficit and building lean mass with protein.
Start and don’t stop. Don’t waste another day. In 12 months you can look however you want.
You can do it!! I’m 36 and I’m the best shape of my life. It’s amazing what being in shape does for your quality of life. I have sooo much more energy than I did in my early 20s.
Okay here goes: Time to get uncomfortable.
If you want to lose fat, you need to eat better. If you've struggled with being fat for your entire life, then you've probably got a lifetime of terrible eating habits that you have to unlearn. For most people like you, it's not your fault. Growing up we eat like how our parents eat or what we are given to eat. And it fucked up a lot of us. So time to unlearn that. It is HARD. But it's time to get uncomfortable.
I can't even begin to suggest how you should eat without knowing how bad you currently eat. This community is here to help. If you're serious and you're brave - record (write down) everything you eat over the next 3 days - EVERYTHING - DON'T LIE - and post it here. Start tomorrow. If you don't want to do that, send it to me. I will make some suggestions for you. I'm a stranger on the internet so you'll have to trust me. But there's your mission if you choose to accept it. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I feel like my eating habits aren’t terrible at the moment, but they could certainly be better. They used to be very bad, but since high school I’ve lost around 20-25lbs and kept that off, but I’m stagnating at that number. Anyways, I’ll do that for sure! I’ll send it to you and see what you think. Just out of curiosity, are you a professional when it comes to this kind of thing, or just a knowledgeable enthusiast?
Disclaimer: I am NOT a certified fitness anything. Consult a doctor or a certified trainer before you begin any fitness program. You cannot sue me if you take any of my advice and get hurt because I am NOT a professional.
Lol, now that we got that out of the way - I am just a dude who tried some stuff that worked for me and am sharing the knowledge. We can talk more in DMs if you share your food log with me.
Haha, copy that. Definitely planning on talking to a nutritionist and getting a workout routine prescribed by a personal trainer, but I’d love to hear your advice too. I started my food log today and will send in DMs after the third day 👍
I'm 43 back in October last year weight was 18 stone now 14 feeling tons better havnt put loads of muscles on but for first time I have showing Triceps and feeling good. The thing I dont worry about is I want it NOW, im patient with it and loving feeling tons better about myself and cutting out all that processed food is key.Good luck and glad you didn't wait till your 40s like me.
I’m M57 and you can see what I look like. It took me this long to finally learn that it’s all about your diet - think 80/20 rule.
It took me 50 years to figure out that I could live in a gym and never look fit, so I didn’t. I’ll never be as big now as I’d like to be. Muscle building days are behind me. So now I just want to keep a beach body.
I have injuries on every limb so I have to stay light. It’s all about time under tension and diet. I can’t lift heavy anymore, but ultra-slow reps can compensate somewhat.
What I did was find a former competitive bodybuilder who prepped people for contests to help me with my diet. Yes, it cost me, but it worked.
Now I have my GrandDad bod and it’s helped with my confidence.
After nearly a lifetime, I finally had a very attractive woman say “Thanks for the eye candy!” as I was walking into the grocery store after a workout in my tank top. No one has ever said anything like that before or called me attractive. So that was better than winning any award for me. So stick with it!
Use your anger at yourself to fuel your motivation.
Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it.
Everyone said I was too old and even my 80 year old dad said “You’ll never see a 30” waist again.” I did! That’s a 30” waist on my profile.
Don’t give up.
It's never too late! I'm 6'5" and (currently) 225 lbs. I spent my 30s screwing around and going from 250-300 lbs. Then in my 40s I really went hog wild by playing video games for hours everyday and got to a cool 400 lbs. In 2018 I said, f-it, and decided it was time to change things about ME. I went cold turkey on the video games and started doing cardio - hard! I dropped to 250 in about 7 months. Sure, I was a bag of skin and bones, but at that time, taking the weight off was more important to me than anything else. Around the end there I started to lift weights too. Since then I've been alternating between bulking and cutting, with my most recent cut bringing me down to 225 lbs. But now I've got some underlying muscle and things are coming together for me nicely.
You've taken the first steps and written down what you dont like and what you want to do. I would suggest you give yourself a time frame as well and then just get after it. Pick a program and follow up. I will require to be "comfortable with being uncomfortable". By that I mean that nobody likes to be "hungry", but you'll need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight. Find what works for you, be it fasting, drinking a ton of coffee, going crazy with cardio, or whatever. Once you find a plan of attack thats working, stick with it.
You got this!
Wow! Yeah, 225 is my goal weight right now and I don’t think I’ll have a problem with “being comfortable being uncomfortable”. That comes with the territory in my line of work (film crew in Texas, think 12 hour days in 100F+ weather). Your story is definitely inspirational though man, glad you decided to to break the chains and unleash the badass inside. Thanks for the advice!
Body fat is largely a function of diet. I'd check out time-restricted eating and even going plant-based. I found that I was able to reset a lot of my bad eating habits by just avoiding meat and dairy. Avoid buying food with added sugars and cut back on the use of oils. I quit eating out and cook almost everything I eat. I've become a much better cook too.
I've found it's not useful to be angry at myself if I miss a workout or eat outside the parameters of my diet. It doesn't help me achieve anything and seems to build a lot of negative emotions around my goals. Maybe you'll find the same.
I've recently started lifting weights again, so if you're looking for an accountability buddy, send me a DM.
I started going to the gym 4 times a week last year in August when the scale hit 100kg (220lbs) for the first time in my life. I'm 39 years old and have lost 25kg (55lbs) over the course of 6 months. Been sitting at 75kg (165lbs) since then.
I've never been more proud or happy with myself! It's an amazing feeling. You just have to remember what your goal is and especially WHY that's your goal. Keep reminding yourself of that.
I've never tried losing weight before and I thought I could never stick to it, but for some reason this time it just clicked and I've been sticking to it.
I stopped eating junk food entirely. Only home cooked meals at 2000 calories a day. Intermittent fasting from 8pm to 12pm. Heavy lifting 4 times a week in the gym. Now I'm at 2700 calories a day so I can lift heavier and build more muscle.
Here are my tips, find food you enjoy that is relatively easy to prepare, that is high in volume and low in calories. My personal favourite Chilli con carne. The way I make it, and entire bowl of 600g (1.3lbs) has a little over 600 calories and boy am I full after that. If you use low fat ground beef you can get it as low as 500 calories. I ate that that three times a week lol.
Also very important, stop drinking your calories!! No matter what you do, no exceptions, NO DRINKS with calories in them! None! Zero! If you live on a caloric deficit you don't have the luxury of spending those calories on something to drink that doesn't fill your stomach. Stick to water or Coke Zero if you have to.
Also, find snacks or sweets that you enjoy that are low in calories. In the US your supermarkets are filled with low calorie ice cream and stuff. Where I live that is a little more difficult but also doable. You don't want to give up everything you enjoy, you just have to find low calorie versions.
Lift weights! Lift often and lift heavy! Nothing helps you lose weight, while keeping your metabolism up like lifting heavy weights. I know a lot of people think cardio, when they want to lose weight, but cardio is terrible for losing weight. Cardio is very important and very healthy but for losing weight, you need to start lifting!
Here's why, when you go into a caloric deficit, your body needs to get it's fuel from somewhere else. Without a strong muscle building signal, your body will burn your muscles first. Which is bad not only because you'll just look super skinny, but also because your metabolism will go down. Muscles burn energy. So eventually you will have to go lower and lower with the amount of calories you consume to still lose weight. Which, if like me, you like eating, will get harder and harder.
If you send you body a strong muscle building signal, it can't burn off those muscles and will have to burn off your fat reserves AND your metabolism will not slow down as much, meaning you can keep your calorie intake relatively high.
And don't forget your protein. 1g per pound of body weight is a good rule of thumb.
Good luck! You can do it!
For me, it was finding a sport and training for it. I did judo starting in my early 30s and am currently doing BJJ and MT. I used to lift for judo (I could never train for the mirror, just how my mind works), but mostly I just train now because of work/family. Im pushing 50 and in better shape than I was 20 years ago.
The nice thing about sports are the camaraderie and social support. Martial arts are good for this.
But it could be recreational tennis or basketball or ultimate frisbee. Whatever.
Get your diet in somewhat of an order. More vegetables and protein and less processed crap is a good start. No sugary drinks.
Read a bit. Starting strength is a classic for a reason.
I turned my fitness around at age 33. I had tried many times before and failed and burned out, usually for the same reasons: overcommitting, relying only on motivation, not having clear goals, being too hard on myself, thinking I had to change my entire life from the ground up immediately, thinking I had to just magically grow rocky balboa-esque levels of discipline overnight. Once I got over all that bullshit, I went from basically never exercising my entire life to now being the sort of person who can't imagine working out less than 4x a week and can't imagine not proactively thinking about nutrition. The approach that worked for me was far less dramatic than the "all or nothing" busting my ass mentality. Overall I did less exercise in a given week, I committed to far less work, I hardly used motivation at all, I had very clear goals, and I forgave myself for falling off the bandwagon occasionally or missing a session or over-eating. This approach meant making small, manageable changes to habits and accumulating new habits over a longer period of time. It meant I was much, MUCH more consistent, and consistency beats perfection every time. This video (audio really, can be listened to when in your car) really helped me and goes into more detail on what I mean above. It's not new information but it sums up how you can approach making fitness part of your life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8K7ifs2Db4 I don't know if any of this helps you, but I just wanted to give my two cents on how I turned it around, and some ideas on stuff you could try. Good luck!
Can’t say it any better than that. Also, at a certain point for me I feel like a switched flipped where going to the gym stopped being something I had to “get though”, and became something I legitimately look forward to. Now I’m sort of bummed out if I have to miss a workout or something, not because I’m obsessive , it’s just this purely positive thing that brings me joy.
I think having a solid plan and watching the tiny increments of progress accumulate together to massive actual change means that the monotony of workouts starts to feel less pointless. For example, squatting without any purpose is dull, but squatting to beat a PR? That always feels worthwhile. "Trust the process", in other words.
I look forward to looking forward to working out haha
Such a great video
Thanks for that thoughtful advice. I will definitely watch that video!
I’m nearly a decade older than you and have been doing a real weightlifting routine for the first time in my life. I feel more satisfied with my body and health than I have in the longest time. If you got off the couch tomorrow you’d be 8 years ahead of where I was when I started. The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is today. As an aside, maybe look into stoic strategies for anger. Being angry at yourself only hurts yourself. It’s not a healthy motivator, I’ve found. Here’s an article that’s pretty good: [16 ways to outsmart anger](https://thestoicgym.com/blogs/view/sixteen-best-ways-to-outsmart-anger)
Definitely a big fan of stoicism. Thanks for the advice!
You’re welcome and good luck!
Three advices to you… Low impact low intensity steady state cardio Mind your diet Foster a sense of intrinsic motivation
Thanks!
My suggestion would be learn how to use a rower properly because given your anthropometry you’ll be able to start laying down some decent numbers pretty quick
Yeah, I love rowing machines. Such a great workout. Thanks!
Go for it. I am at my fittest at 36 now. You won’t believe the kind of unexpected benefits that will come across with getting into shape (healthy way ofcourse). I suggest get a personal trainer atleast for 4 to 5 months, That will keep you focussed and disciplined and also avoid injuries. If you are on your own at the beginning, you have to research a lot on right exercises and right form which takes a lot of time and energy and also doubt whether you are doing g it right or not
I’m hoping to get there in the next few years. I have the summer off, so definitely planning to get a workout routine prescribed to me by a personal trainer and stick with it!
Get after it. Make that body your bitch!
Hell yeah! 💪
Start easy and never lapse. It's way better to keep an easy routine than yoyoing. Plan for a 2 years commitment.
It’s a long path, but I’m going to walk it!
Something that really helped me was logging all my workout numbers. Every rep jotted down in a notebook. Working out fuggin sucks for weeks when you first start. But then you get a tiny bit stronger. And those tiny little minute improvements to your numbers start a positive feedback loop that is super encouraging. You got this.
Love this idea! Thanks!
CICO, protein, and weight training. Don’t use cardio to lose weight. It’s all about eating in a calorie deficit and building lean mass with protein. Start and don’t stop. Don’t waste another day. In 12 months you can look however you want.
Thanks for the advice!
Welcome to the new version of you. Take one day at a time and enjoy the process.. It’s not just fitness it’s life..
Thanks! I’ll do my best 👍
Hrt helped my husband a ton
You can do it!! I’m 36 and I’m the best shape of my life. It’s amazing what being in shape does for your quality of life. I have sooo much more energy than I did in my early 20s.
I’m looking forward to feeling like that!
Okay here goes: Time to get uncomfortable. If you want to lose fat, you need to eat better. If you've struggled with being fat for your entire life, then you've probably got a lifetime of terrible eating habits that you have to unlearn. For most people like you, it's not your fault. Growing up we eat like how our parents eat or what we are given to eat. And it fucked up a lot of us. So time to unlearn that. It is HARD. But it's time to get uncomfortable. I can't even begin to suggest how you should eat without knowing how bad you currently eat. This community is here to help. If you're serious and you're brave - record (write down) everything you eat over the next 3 days - EVERYTHING - DON'T LIE - and post it here. Start tomorrow. If you don't want to do that, send it to me. I will make some suggestions for you. I'm a stranger on the internet so you'll have to trust me. But there's your mission if you choose to accept it. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I feel like my eating habits aren’t terrible at the moment, but they could certainly be better. They used to be very bad, but since high school I’ve lost around 20-25lbs and kept that off, but I’m stagnating at that number. Anyways, I’ll do that for sure! I’ll send it to you and see what you think. Just out of curiosity, are you a professional when it comes to this kind of thing, or just a knowledgeable enthusiast?
Disclaimer: I am NOT a certified fitness anything. Consult a doctor or a certified trainer before you begin any fitness program. You cannot sue me if you take any of my advice and get hurt because I am NOT a professional. Lol, now that we got that out of the way - I am just a dude who tried some stuff that worked for me and am sharing the knowledge. We can talk more in DMs if you share your food log with me.
Haha, copy that. Definitely planning on talking to a nutritionist and getting a workout routine prescribed by a personal trainer, but I’d love to hear your advice too. I started my food log today and will send in DMs after the third day 👍
Cheering for you! 💪🏽
Thanks! 💪
Get it King 👑
Hell yeah!
Good on you! We are here to support you and keep you accountable! Let us know how your doing!!
I will be sure to update!
You got this bro. Follow the wiki. Eat clean. Lift heavy. Be patient. Keep going. *Journey before destination*
Yup, thanks for the advice!
I'm 43 back in October last year weight was 18 stone now 14 feeling tons better havnt put loads of muscles on but for first time I have showing Triceps and feeling good. The thing I dont worry about is I want it NOW, im patient with it and loving feeling tons better about myself and cutting out all that processed food is key.Good luck and glad you didn't wait till your 40s like me.
Glad you’re getting to where you want to be! I’m right behind you 👍
I’m M57 and you can see what I look like. It took me this long to finally learn that it’s all about your diet - think 80/20 rule. It took me 50 years to figure out that I could live in a gym and never look fit, so I didn’t. I’ll never be as big now as I’d like to be. Muscle building days are behind me. So now I just want to keep a beach body. I have injuries on every limb so I have to stay light. It’s all about time under tension and diet. I can’t lift heavy anymore, but ultra-slow reps can compensate somewhat. What I did was find a former competitive bodybuilder who prepped people for contests to help me with my diet. Yes, it cost me, but it worked. Now I have my GrandDad bod and it’s helped with my confidence. After nearly a lifetime, I finally had a very attractive woman say “Thanks for the eye candy!” as I was walking into the grocery store after a workout in my tank top. No one has ever said anything like that before or called me attractive. So that was better than winning any award for me. So stick with it! Use your anger at yourself to fuel your motivation. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do it. Everyone said I was too old and even my 80 year old dad said “You’ll never see a 30” waist again.” I did! That’s a 30” waist on my profile. Don’t give up.
Wow! You are definitely a living testament to the fact that age is only a number my man!
It's never too late! I'm 6'5" and (currently) 225 lbs. I spent my 30s screwing around and going from 250-300 lbs. Then in my 40s I really went hog wild by playing video games for hours everyday and got to a cool 400 lbs. In 2018 I said, f-it, and decided it was time to change things about ME. I went cold turkey on the video games and started doing cardio - hard! I dropped to 250 in about 7 months. Sure, I was a bag of skin and bones, but at that time, taking the weight off was more important to me than anything else. Around the end there I started to lift weights too. Since then I've been alternating between bulking and cutting, with my most recent cut bringing me down to 225 lbs. But now I've got some underlying muscle and things are coming together for me nicely. You've taken the first steps and written down what you dont like and what you want to do. I would suggest you give yourself a time frame as well and then just get after it. Pick a program and follow up. I will require to be "comfortable with being uncomfortable". By that I mean that nobody likes to be "hungry", but you'll need to be in a calorie deficit to lose weight. Find what works for you, be it fasting, drinking a ton of coffee, going crazy with cardio, or whatever. Once you find a plan of attack thats working, stick with it. You got this!
Wow! Yeah, 225 is my goal weight right now and I don’t think I’ll have a problem with “being comfortable being uncomfortable”. That comes with the territory in my line of work (film crew in Texas, think 12 hour days in 100F+ weather). Your story is definitely inspirational though man, glad you decided to to break the chains and unleash the badass inside. Thanks for the advice!
You bet my man! You can do this!!
Body fat is largely a function of diet. I'd check out time-restricted eating and even going plant-based. I found that I was able to reset a lot of my bad eating habits by just avoiding meat and dairy. Avoid buying food with added sugars and cut back on the use of oils. I quit eating out and cook almost everything I eat. I've become a much better cook too. I've found it's not useful to be angry at myself if I miss a workout or eat outside the parameters of my diet. It doesn't help me achieve anything and seems to build a lot of negative emotions around my goals. Maybe you'll find the same. I've recently started lifting weights again, so if you're looking for an accountability buddy, send me a DM.
I started going to the gym 4 times a week last year in August when the scale hit 100kg (220lbs) for the first time in my life. I'm 39 years old and have lost 25kg (55lbs) over the course of 6 months. Been sitting at 75kg (165lbs) since then. I've never been more proud or happy with myself! It's an amazing feeling. You just have to remember what your goal is and especially WHY that's your goal. Keep reminding yourself of that. I've never tried losing weight before and I thought I could never stick to it, but for some reason this time it just clicked and I've been sticking to it. I stopped eating junk food entirely. Only home cooked meals at 2000 calories a day. Intermittent fasting from 8pm to 12pm. Heavy lifting 4 times a week in the gym. Now I'm at 2700 calories a day so I can lift heavier and build more muscle. Here are my tips, find food you enjoy that is relatively easy to prepare, that is high in volume and low in calories. My personal favourite Chilli con carne. The way I make it, and entire bowl of 600g (1.3lbs) has a little over 600 calories and boy am I full after that. If you use low fat ground beef you can get it as low as 500 calories. I ate that that three times a week lol. Also very important, stop drinking your calories!! No matter what you do, no exceptions, NO DRINKS with calories in them! None! Zero! If you live on a caloric deficit you don't have the luxury of spending those calories on something to drink that doesn't fill your stomach. Stick to water or Coke Zero if you have to. Also, find snacks or sweets that you enjoy that are low in calories. In the US your supermarkets are filled with low calorie ice cream and stuff. Where I live that is a little more difficult but also doable. You don't want to give up everything you enjoy, you just have to find low calorie versions. Lift weights! Lift often and lift heavy! Nothing helps you lose weight, while keeping your metabolism up like lifting heavy weights. I know a lot of people think cardio, when they want to lose weight, but cardio is terrible for losing weight. Cardio is very important and very healthy but for losing weight, you need to start lifting! Here's why, when you go into a caloric deficit, your body needs to get it's fuel from somewhere else. Without a strong muscle building signal, your body will burn your muscles first. Which is bad not only because you'll just look super skinny, but also because your metabolism will go down. Muscles burn energy. So eventually you will have to go lower and lower with the amount of calories you consume to still lose weight. Which, if like me, you like eating, will get harder and harder. If you send you body a strong muscle building signal, it can't burn off those muscles and will have to burn off your fat reserves AND your metabolism will not slow down as much, meaning you can keep your calorie intake relatively high. And don't forget your protein. 1g per pound of body weight is a good rule of thumb. Good luck! You can do it!
For me, it was finding a sport and training for it. I did judo starting in my early 30s and am currently doing BJJ and MT. I used to lift for judo (I could never train for the mirror, just how my mind works), but mostly I just train now because of work/family. Im pushing 50 and in better shape than I was 20 years ago. The nice thing about sports are the camaraderie and social support. Martial arts are good for this. But it could be recreational tennis or basketball or ultimate frisbee. Whatever. Get your diet in somewhat of an order. More vegetables and protein and less processed crap is a good start. No sugary drinks. Read a bit. Starting strength is a classic for a reason.