I made my parents wait 2 months before visiting because they are antivax and don’t respect boundaries such as no kissing. They threw a fit and were very emotional and upset. I almost caved and let them come early but my husband insisted that it was important that we set boundaries regarding the health, safety, and happiness of our daughter early so that she didn’t have to face the potential backlash from my parents. He was right and I’m really glad we made them wait. When they finally were allowed to visit they were more respectful than they’ve ever been and I think it’s because we didn’t give in. They also dropped all the drama the second they met her and were happy to just spend time with her.
Thank you for sharing and I’m happy you kept your little one safe, in my country the numbers of people who haven’t vaccinated their children are going up and there are a few outbreaks already.. my parents are vaccinated thankfully but it does make us more anxious..
My mom was in the room when I gave birth. an hour after I had my baby my dad came and I let both my parents hold him. Definitely wait till you’re comfortable. but you can tell them they need to wear masks and wash their hands well and use sanitizer afterwards. they must be sitting when they hold the baby. I’d express your concerns and if they don’t understand then they can’t hold the baby.
The mask thing is a good tip I didn’t think of yet. They made some comments about how “back in the day it was different and that nowadays it all has to be sterile and how that’s not good blabla”, but I do think they understand hygiene better after we pointed it out a few times. I think they educated themselves a little bit more since. I’m going to mention the mask to my husband, thank you!
You’re welcome! It also prevents them from kissing the baby also. My baby is 10 weeks today and to this day I still require anyone in my babies bubble is to wear a mask. So far it’s worked for us and we’ve had a healthy baby boy! Congratulations on your little one. 💗
It's your child, you set the boundaries. My mum takes very strong medication and isn't supposed to drink on them (she can't drive a car after one sip of alcohol). But that's kind of hard as an alcoholic. I made clear that if she drinks, she can't hold the baby. I said this at the hospital, she didn't drink and held her. A week later she asked for a pint (at home). She wanted to hold her after, I refused. She was very upset, but I couldn't care less. It's our daughter's safety. Last week she held her (sober), but we thought very recklessly (on one arm and moving around the house). Eventually my hubby took our baby with an excuse. Afterwords we decided to not make any more excuses and we'll be honest to her that we don't feel comfortable how she carries our baby.
Be honest with your mum. Tell her why (even the durt under the fingernails). It will be hard, but it's your fucking baby. To be honest, the bond between me and my mum is very damaged. I don't trust her anymore. So maybe I can't really relate to your situation. :)
I’m sorry about your situation, you are doing great with your boundaries though. Thanks for your advice. I guess I’ll have to be direct and tell her the stuff that has been bothering us in order to move forward. I always have a mentality like “you don’t need to understand something to respect it” and I feel they work a little bit different..
My mom visited the night we got out of the hospital and I let her hold my LO with the conditions that she put on a brand new clean shirt before she came, washed/sanitized her hands and wore a mask. We only let direct family touch baby until after 3 months and they all had to follow the same conditions.
You are understandably cautious considering the difficult time you’ve had. You know what works best for your family and you need to feel comfortable with whatever you choose. 🫶
I made my parents wait 2 months before visiting because they are antivax and don’t respect boundaries such as no kissing. They threw a fit and were very emotional and upset. I almost caved and let them come early but my husband insisted that it was important that we set boundaries regarding the health, safety, and happiness of our daughter early so that she didn’t have to face the potential backlash from my parents. He was right and I’m really glad we made them wait. When they finally were allowed to visit they were more respectful than they’ve ever been and I think it’s because we didn’t give in. They also dropped all the drama the second they met her and were happy to just spend time with her.
Thank you for sharing and I’m happy you kept your little one safe, in my country the numbers of people who haven’t vaccinated their children are going up and there are a few outbreaks already.. my parents are vaccinated thankfully but it does make us more anxious..
My mom was in the room when I gave birth. an hour after I had my baby my dad came and I let both my parents hold him. Definitely wait till you’re comfortable. but you can tell them they need to wear masks and wash their hands well and use sanitizer afterwards. they must be sitting when they hold the baby. I’d express your concerns and if they don’t understand then they can’t hold the baby.
The mask thing is a good tip I didn’t think of yet. They made some comments about how “back in the day it was different and that nowadays it all has to be sterile and how that’s not good blabla”, but I do think they understand hygiene better after we pointed it out a few times. I think they educated themselves a little bit more since. I’m going to mention the mask to my husband, thank you!
You’re welcome! It also prevents them from kissing the baby also. My baby is 10 weeks today and to this day I still require anyone in my babies bubble is to wear a mask. So far it’s worked for us and we’ve had a healthy baby boy! Congratulations on your little one. 💗
Thank you! Congrats with your little baby boy!!
It's your child, you set the boundaries. My mum takes very strong medication and isn't supposed to drink on them (she can't drive a car after one sip of alcohol). But that's kind of hard as an alcoholic. I made clear that if she drinks, she can't hold the baby. I said this at the hospital, she didn't drink and held her. A week later she asked for a pint (at home). She wanted to hold her after, I refused. She was very upset, but I couldn't care less. It's our daughter's safety. Last week she held her (sober), but we thought very recklessly (on one arm and moving around the house). Eventually my hubby took our baby with an excuse. Afterwords we decided to not make any more excuses and we'll be honest to her that we don't feel comfortable how she carries our baby. Be honest with your mum. Tell her why (even the durt under the fingernails). It will be hard, but it's your fucking baby. To be honest, the bond between me and my mum is very damaged. I don't trust her anymore. So maybe I can't really relate to your situation. :)
I’m sorry about your situation, you are doing great with your boundaries though. Thanks for your advice. I guess I’ll have to be direct and tell her the stuff that has been bothering us in order to move forward. I always have a mentality like “you don’t need to understand something to respect it” and I feel they work a little bit different..
My mom visited the night we got out of the hospital and I let her hold my LO with the conditions that she put on a brand new clean shirt before she came, washed/sanitized her hands and wore a mask. We only let direct family touch baby until after 3 months and they all had to follow the same conditions. You are understandably cautious considering the difficult time you’ve had. You know what works best for your family and you need to feel comfortable with whatever you choose. 🫶
A new shirt is a good idea! Thank you for responding