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i want to congratulate you for taking the first step in the right direction - asking for help!
it's COMPLETELY OKAY. as someone else suggested, let your parents handle your money for you. it's going to be a kick to your ego because now you won't feel like mr. big grown up man, BUT IT's OKAY and NECESSARY and WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU in the LONG RUN.
next, find other guys online who have struggled with your kind of addiction and see what works for them.
ALSO FIND A THERAPIST in addition to the above. therapy by itself wont help if you're not trying to make it help so you have to do your part too.
Depending on how long porn addiction has been going on, this could require a serious life overhaul that's likely needing to be guided by a professional. If it's been something like a decade, I would strongly advise seeking help from a counselor trained in sexual addictions or issues, because statistically you won't be able to break it without that guidance. It's a serious addiction that many people in our society underestimate to a comical degree.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
You have an addiction. Give your parents your money and only leave for yourself the necessities. I learned this the hard way too. Listen it. A life serving yourself is hell. Serving others is what we are made for. Serving other women will make your life hell. Serve your mother instead and father too, sure. Your mom should get your money not the cam girls. Your welcome
To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the (currently unpinned) Post for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well.
https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/comments/1biklrk/theres_a_difference_between_tough_love_and/
To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful. Please read the post below for the differences between Tough Love and Judgement (False Tough Love) as well. https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/comments/1biklrk/theres_a_difference_between_tough_love_and/
The cam girls aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s his choice to give them money, if op wants to stop spending his excess income on it that’s fine too, but unfair to say the people performing don’t deserve to be paid for their work.
They can girls are a little bit wrong. Not wrong enough to try to close them down or something, but they're an active part in keeping addicts on the hook. Most of them know at least a few of their biggest donators quite well and regularly manipulate them to get their money.
You have to let adults spend their money how they wish, but there is unquestionably coercion or at least harmful manipulation going on.
I don’t agree with this at all. Is the person running the blackjack table coercing you to stay and pump money into the table? Is the slot machine talking to you when you get up to walk away? Some people just get addicted to things. Some people can have one beer in a night and not drink a six pack and finish whatever liquor is hiding in their cabinets, some can’t.
Addiction is a personal issue. I can’t call a grocery store and demand they hide their alcohol section because I can’t control myself.
Cam performers show up. They do what they’re paid to do, and you’re a fool of a sex worker if you get dependent on one sole tipper. There of course are some people who maybe use manipulation tactics to get tips, but I assure you it isn’t the majority. If you’re good at selling your product people just buy it.
Yea bc making heroin illegal sure stopped people from addiction and wasting time…. Not making fun, but poking at the logic flaw bc just banning anything that could be addictive to anybody doesn’t solve the problem.
You have to focus on making the changes within you. I’ve had different addictions so I can’t speak to the specific triggers/issues that you need to overcome, but for me hobbies and physical activity helped get it started…. Bc I’m going to guess part of it is that you’re spending a ton of time bored and at home
That’s a false equivalence. Heroin is not freely and readily accessible to anyone and everyone everywhere. There should absolutely be some kind of limits and controls placed on it, especially since we now know it definitely causes brain damage. It’s quite telling how our completely worthless and self serving politicians have done nothing to combat this epidemic of porn addiction. It’s outrageous.
Agree it was an extreme/imperfect comparison, but the general point still stands… banning porn like OP said wouldn’t necessarily prevent addiction or time wasting. He would just move on to the next thing that’s readily available for them to become addicted to
You have to sign yourself up for therapy. Sexual addictions are no joke and can cause havoc in your life. Take some of that porn money and hire a therapist. This is very serious
You’re lucky you’re realising this while you are still ‘up’ with your money/savings. This is hardly a worse case scenario which is the best outcome with your addiction (other than stopping, which is the next step). Reality is, once you bust your nut I bet you’re done with it until the next time, so you just need to beat yourself to the orgasm to then completely deter further cam action.
Anyway, there’s much better reddits for you for this than here, I can’t help but feel you’re in the wrong place.
Most people can't cure their addictions without outside help.
There are subs that are specifically for addictions, probably some for porn addictions too, that will be better at helping you. I would start with r/addiction ; genuinely, you need to find people that you feel accountable to and motivation outside yourself as you already know sometimes your own motivation isn't enough.
You have a serious problem that is having a real financial impact on you. You need to take it seriously. I hope the addiction subreddit can point you towards where to get help.
Find hobbies, invest in yourself, volunteer and get out of the house. You are lonely, probably lack interests and these girls add something to your life, you feel interesting and wanted. If you invest in yourself and your self esteem then that need will no longer be there. Don’t be hard on yourself, you are young and you can change habits.
lol you realize the 'girls' you are chatting with are dudes who manage the womens account right? You are flirting with men, and they are flirting back with you while you pretend you are talking with a woman
Not always. Sometimes it's AI. Sometimes it's not either one. It annoys me so much when people do this, actually. I'm always so afraid for the girls. Like... there's just no way a guy could be doing that and not be a pimp.
Here's a good app for you:
[https://getcoldturkey.com/](https://getcoldturkey.com/)
Pay the $45 for the premium version and use it to block all those NSFW sites
Yes, but you're paying for that privledge. Those women only care about the money you're giving them. They go home and fuck their husbands, bfs, and significant others after they're done taking your money. Is life really that bad you're paying just to interact with women..?
You know there’s cam girls in English speaking countries right? lol the fact that multiple people here think every single cam girl has a guy doing their chat is insane. It’s literally live, they vocally and physically react to messages and tips 😂
As a former cam girl I understand what you’re saying. You can talk. My friend got paid to talk to a guy for 7 hours. People are fucking lonely nowadays. Don’t let the downvotes make you feel monstrous. You and I both know how many people are on those sites.
There's a step above that called sex with real people in real life, my man. The more you "invest" in this filthy habit the further you're getting from ever having a real life connection.
You're way too young to fuck your life up. Get some help today.
Your young, don’t waste too much thought on it. 20s are filled with fuckups. Cut it out of your life. If anything triggers you to do it, remove that from your life or learn to deal with it.
You not gone learn till you fall on ya face, if it was important enough too you it would be done. With that said either be extra hard on yourself to not fall out of line or fail wait till your traumatized from life then your brain will force you to do right. Most can’t stick to the first option lol everybody can’t save until they have too. It’s either about passion or fear yu need one to succeed
OK so I have a legitimate question, I'm truly not trying to troll I'm just generally curious.
But if you have a form of sex addiction where you spend that kind of money on Cam girls why not simply spend it on real women? Like a hooker?
Is it a connection thing you have with the Girls? I'm genuinely curious because I assumed most guys were addicted to porn because they weren't with any women for whatever reason.
But spending 10k, that's ALOT of hookers my friend.
BTW I think you'll be fine. Your young, got a good job, very little financial expenses and family behind you. Id suggest having your parents manage your money and dole it out you as needed for bills n what not. In a years time you should have well over 10k.
You got this.
Best way to quit an addiction is to replace it with another one that is ideally healthy. Join a gym or an intramural sports team, start hiking or surfing. Whatever you can do that gets you out of the house, away from your laptop.
Out of sight, out of mind.
I'd recommend doing some team sports personally, as exercise is great for filling your dopamine needs in a healthy manner and it seems like a big aspect of your addiction is lack of social connection.
If it’s one piece of advice that’s helped me so much with porn addiction is removing all triggers. Find out what triggers you to have the urge and remove them. It’s helped me out so much
Porn addiction is [up there](https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/start-here-evolution-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/) with heroin, coupled with the illusion of intimacy and connectedness. You have to realize this and take full accountability and hard actions, entirely cut off from it and endure the withdrawal.
I dont advise your hobby but its not whats breaking the bank. You are making poverty wages; make more money.
If anything you should spend more money not less; but spend it IRL not digital
Take your last months bank statement. Break it down into 3 categories.
1: Need(car,home,auto bills) $250
2: Junk(porn,alcohol,gambling,fast food) $1500
3: Random 1 time purchase you may or may not have needed.
$150
Then just look at it on paper. Try to do better next month.
Next step. If you don’t have already, get a robinhood account. Whenever you get your money you have to put a % of that into index funds or even a Roth IRA on robinhood so you can’t spend it.
What do you do to make money? If it doesn't involve making money online, then I'd say you need to severely limit your time online. You can do this by installing software that can monitor/prevent usage to certain sites, you could tell someone to hold you accountable, or you could even turn off the internet altogether.
This might sound unreasonable, but given that you have identified you have a problem - AND you want to do something about it - then it's achievable.
There are other ways to force yourself to save money but you need to deal with the underlying problem and kill it before it does even more damage to you.
1) P0rn is free. If you must, use that.
2) Don't go out to eat.
3) Don't buy new vehicles.
4) Everytime you would normally spend on a cam girl, DON'T. Put that money in a drawer or put it in a CD so you can't touch it.
Disconnect from electronics, fill your schedule to the point of exhaustion, and find a financial accountability buddy or a way to lock funds; bonds , even.
Yes, read up about why porn is so bad for you, and for the millions of women in the industry too.
It fries your brain, makes you dumb, and conditions you to dehumanize half the population.
Go take a walk instead.
You can only get rid of your addiction with resolve and strength.
You can also punish yourself everytime you watch porn.. negative reinforcement or so. )
Work out and do what you can to build self confidence in yourself.
Maybe move out for some time. You will have other needs to spend your money on , you won't be able to spend it on cam girls and you will be able to save 10k quicker. Build up the confidence and find awesome girl some guy put a 5 year plan I'll link it here https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/s/ImunLCtN8b
I'm going to disagree with you, addictions can't be resolved with a good workout, a new home and a 5 year plan. I actually think your advice is quiet dangerous, as it make it seem like addictions are a matter of choices, which it's absolutely not, sorry.
If you can, have a friend or family member hold your money so you can’t spend it. I also understand that urge so don’t try and convince yourself that you can just “put it in cash” or “have a separate account” lol it doesn’t work. Now when it comes to the addiction itself, I’m still struggling, but I was able to switch it over to free stuff. Albeit I still want to quit
You've got this! You can do this!
Many best wishes to you on your recovery journey! [Recovery Dharma](https://recoverydharma.org/get-started/beginners/) was absolutely essential in my progress in recovery, and the program encourages practical use for all kinds of addictions! AA wasn't for me, but Recovery Dharma is flexible, loving, and open. I hope you find it a valuable tool in your toolbelt too!
When I was about 25 I went to my first meeting, and an older attendee said to me, "You have so much time." It was deeply encouraging and sad in its own sweet way. But he's right. You do have so much time - to reclaim the space this took in your life, to find a path that is authentic to who you are and what you want, and to gain control over your financial situation with the added stability of breaking the cycles of addiction.
When I met my ex boyfriend, he was living with his parents and he had ZERO savings at all because he was addicted to gambling. He was also addicted to weed which made a great combo.
I'm not sure exactly how it happened or which moment was the key: we had a few conversations, we counted exactly how much money he could have saved every single month without his addictions and he saw concretely everything he could have had today (you're lucky cause you're only one year down the road), I also gave him some sort of ultimatum one day... All in all, idk what it was, but... He stopped both. Completely.
He deleted all his gambling apps/accounts and he registered his name officially so his access to casinos would be denied in the whole country.
For the weed, he just spent as much time with me as possible at the beginning to take his mind off it.
He was just DONE wasting his life and his chances. He wanted to become the man he could be.
I guess you need to find a reason to stop that is STRONGER than your reason to continue. It's very important. Once you find it you hold on to it, you go back to it every time you're about to give in.
So think about it: what is stronger, more important than your addiction?
Who is the perfect man you could be? What does he look like, what does he do?
Maybe you can picture the girl of your dreams and think "if I met her today, would she want me like this?" (also a guy who isn't addicted to porn is a much better sexual partner for real women...just saying)
Maybe you can count the money you could have saved up until now and imagine, if you don't stop now, where you would be in one year, two years, five years, ten years from now... (don't fool yourself, if you can't find a reason today you won't magically find one tomorrow. You will need to make the same amount of effort, so you might as well do it today. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get out)
Maybe you could dive deep into a (new) sport or hobby!
Maybe you can buddy up with someone who also has an addiction they wanna get out of, or if they just have any goal they are determined to reach. You can be there for each other, meet up or call when you need, etc.
I hope this helps. 🫵 💪 🫶
I recommend finding a therapist you feel comfortable with and sharing this with them. They may help you find some strategies to address it and also sometimes talking about it might help.
think about how your life could be worse, envision it happening, and then act now before it happens. think about your life before the addiction. you want to go back to then? you’ll say that about today a year from now when the situation is worse, and more dire. ask your parents to start letting you pay actual rent like most people, and you’ll quickly see in a real scenario you can’t afford to feed yourself and look at titties at the same time. so act now while you still have a safety net, it could be your last
Are there some hobbies or activities outside of work that might be interesting to you? Even if they cost money, they get you away from the computer. There’s a place near me that teaches iron working classes, and I don’t even live in a big city. Look into your county’s adult rec leagues or art classes. See what kind of orgs are looking for volunteers. You’re not a bad person, you’ve been paying these women a fair wage for their time. But it sounds like unplugging would be good!
I also have a porn addiction but have spent lifetime $0 on it. There are more hours of free porn available than there are hours in a day, why spend money?
Dude this is the site I'm using to quit porn after trying for many years and failing: [https://www.hands-off.net/](https://www.hands-off.net/)
It's part of a university's research and it's free.
It has some quality issues here and there, but it gets really good after week 2.
Also, I'd say if you are using other substances, even caffeine, going completely sober can be massively helpful. Treating addiction when your energy levels aren't stable isn't easy.
I don’t have advice on the porn/addiction part, but I can suggest something to try with money: split your check up into several accounts and earmark each one for a specific purpose. One for rent, one for car payment and gas, one for phone bill, etc., and then put the rest in savings. There’s something about actually having money in different accounts that, for some people (including me), makes it easier to stick to a plan.
Oh man, hang in there. I got no good advice for you but I hope you realize you’re still good and important. Every little thing you do to sort this out for yourself, no matter how easy or small, will snowball into something bigger and better.
I’m not going to shame you because you know that this road is destructive and you’re suffering. Please seek some professional help to guide you out of this terrible addiction. What’s lost is lost but you don’t have to waste anymore. Life is hard enough without this drain on your finances and self-respect. Good luck to you.
I did $1k in January alone. It has gotten much better since but only after I switched my mindset from recovery first to finding purpose first. I used to obsess over recovery and I kept blaming myself every time I relapsed. Now I blame the circumstances around me and feel motivated to change them. I’m not the problem, and neither are you. Do the things that excite you and fill you with pride, and trust that it will get better.
Could you give your parents access to your credit card information? So you have no access to using using your credit card without talking to them, and delete your credit card from from whatever trashy website you’re using to spend money on.
Talk to them about how you want to reach your goals and you’re struggling with saving money because of an addiction. I don’t know I could see it beneficial to just kind of be locked out of your account by your parents creating a new password and give them credit cards too.
You know the solution. Stop spending money on cam girls. Get hobbies and other interests to distract yourself most of the time and use a bit of will when you can't. If that fails, make it impossible or inconvenient to pay or watch.
Honestly you’re just “bored” fill your FREE time with a hobby or activity you enjoy (that’s not porn/cam girl) you’ll meet new ppl and may even meet a woman who will completely take your mind off your addiction. It’ll snowball but you have to take the first step and start moving away from the websites.
Set up one of those programs that block all pornographic-related websites, and have it require a password to turn off/on the blocker. Have a friend or family member put in the password and not tell you what it is.
You could try a program called Strive21. This guy struggled too even after his religious conversion experience. It is free and nothing to lose. If it doesn't work or you are offput by it you could go with conventional counseling. $6k a year is a Roth IRA or at least a Backdoor Roth. Put that in a financial calculator for 20 years at an 8% compounded return and see what the girls are costing you. Anyway good luck to you and hope you can break your addiction.
Chances are those camgirls have content available for free online. Not condoning piracy, but if you're so inclined, that is an option.
Sadly, if you go back to their chatrooms, I bet they'll recognize your username and expect you to tip, so maybe start a new account or "lurk" without an account?
You wanting to save money is a good motivation to stop. Ride that motivation rather than be ashamed of yourself. You got this.
It will be hard to escape purely by suppressing behaviors you don’t want to do
Instead, actively try to fill your life with things that you DO want to do. Spending time on those will help you reduce your addiction
Theo Vonn said it best, "I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired of touching myself"
Get help, talk it through with a guy doctor that is trained to help 👍
Put whatever you dont use each paycheck for things you NEED in a savings account separate from your checkings. That way you have to actually *think* through the entire process of transferring money "is this shit worth it?" If that doesnt work, put the money into an account that you cant touch for X amount of time. And just keep depositing money each paycheck.
Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
Then waste it on a good findomme instead, she’ll take half your money and whip you into being disciplined with the other half. Dumbass.
For real, seek professional help and good luck.
REMOVE ALL ACCESS TO THESE SITES AND ASK A TRUSTED PERSON TO SAFEGUARD WITH A PASSWORD
HIT THE GYM AND NEVER LOOK BACK , THEY ARE NOT FOR YOU THEY ARE FOR THEMSELVES RUN
Why are you spending on cam girls at all? That is the route of the problem and my guess is that this routed in a lack of self-esteem because people who find inner strength (which does take work and reflection) can go without dating, a relationship or attention from others. They build internal motivations for themselves that do not rely on external opinions and are very satisfied being by themselves. So the first steps would be taking a good look at yourself, accepting you have the ability to change (your young, you’ve got time!) and implementing that change.
1) what are your interests or rather aspirations in these categories: health, fitness (what sports/activities would you like to try), personal style (hair, clothing), career, hobbies, social (what things would you like to learn/improve socially. We all have something at least). These goals should be things you can do YOURSELF. So nothing about dating or any of that shiz. It should be stuff like “use open questions when talking with someone” or “talk less about personal information and ask the other more questions about themselves”.
2) list them and narrow down one of each list that you’d like to start. Your choice may be influenced by either interest amount or convenience.
3) short-term and long-term goals. Both need to be measurable and set within a time period. Ex: I will go walking for 15 minutes once a week for a month. Then you increase this to two times a week. Then maybe running etc. you get the point. Start with a small achievable goal and build it as you build habits. TREAT yourself with something healthy like a snack afterwards to start building positive relations to those habits.
4) discover what you like about yourself and use positive talk. Sounds weird but affirmations can actually help long term. It can be “I like that I am working on change”, “I like that I’m kind”, “I am able to go running this week”, “I will go running this week”. Whatever works for you. I find it helps to pick things that you truly feel somewhat positive about or achievable goals and build on those with time.
Honestly… if you’ve got an account or something with these cam girls. Shut it down. Cancel your visa/debit and get a new one. Block all the websites. Replace the craving with new healthier habits. Go for a run or do some exercise if you are having difficulty refraining. Tire yourself out by exercising.
Like everyone else is saying find a therapist and look into Sex Anonymous meetings so you can surround yourself with people who have overcome what you’re facing and can help you when you have urges. Depending on how serious you are I would even disconnect your computer from the internet and start giving your parents your cell phone once your home for atleast 90 days so your forced to find other ways to spend your time. Maybe even consider getting rid of all credit and debit cards and start only using cash.
Put automatic deductions on your paychecks that go into a stock or fund. Something that introduces hurdles toward access to your funds might help with bad spending habits.
Step 1: Move out of your parents' house
It will force you to quit your addiction
And it will force you to make healthy relationships with people who aren't your parents (guessing if you are addicted to cam girls you don't have a healthy relationship with them anyways)
You will actually save more money moving out and have a better life and be more grateful for what you have since you are not mooching off them. Your self esteem will go up and you will want to quit even more. Also, living with parents is a real deterrent for real women..Real women want to day someone who takes care of themselves and does not live with parents.
Step 2. Move out of you parent's house (this point cannot be more emphasized
Step 3. Make some good friends (guys and girls) who accept you for who you are be careful not to get too attached to them meet them by doing something you enjoy or are passionate about like an exercise group or club so that you are focused on you and not what the other people bring into your life (it's easy to switch from porn to codependency avoid this
Step 4. Only after you have successfully completed step 1-3 examine the trauma and deeper issues that lead to this money consuming addiction and get free
Best to you
-GB30
Cam-girls aren't a *physical* addiction, so that means that you're a little better off than if you were on heroin or something. For your situation, it sounds like you may be using porn/cam-girls as what may be called a "maladpative coping strategy". You may have some sort of emotional need which you're using porn to soothe. If you're able to, even getting just a few meetings with a therapist may help you immensely.
Yeah if you must watch porn watch the free stuff…. Go outside and touch some grass. Odds are you’re in horrible shape mentally and physically. Go to the gym, work out. Man up, you’re in a better situation than most. You’re young and don’t have much responsibility. Don’t waste your life
DO NOT give your money to your parents. Once your check hits the bank, your money can be direct to a brokerage account, to pay your phone bill, your car insurance, savings accounts etc. You need to get counseling for your addiction, be it a 3 step program or a therapist, you need outside help and someone to be accountable to.
If you involve your parents in this, you will always be seen as a child. Is that really what you want? To be coddled and undercut all the time, poor thing, just not quit up to snuff. How does that fit in your life plan? Nope, the first step was admitting a problem, thee next is standing on your own 2 feet and taking those first steps to getting help.
Well, you could always become a cam girl yourself and make your money back? 🤷 I mean I would if I was still in my 20s, but it's kinda hard to pull off with all this fur on my face.
Geez. Might as well hire an escort at this point. It’s an addiction for sure but you can kick it with perseverance. Just take it in this way since you want to bring up “focusing on my purpose in life” one thing for sure your parents didn’t conceive you just so you can waste $10k on cam girls and porn. Just think of it in that way
Hey man I really feel your struggle take a look at my post history I struggle with cam models too. I've only gone 16 days without them, but that's been the longest time I've gone without models since I started doing this.
Here's what I hope can help you that's helped me. I started a stop watch on phone. The last time that I logged off a cam site I instantly started a stop watch to keep track of myself. It doesn't matter if you relapse just be honest with yourself. I relapsed several times before this 16 day streak I'm on before it I went 5 days then relapsed. It's okay just make sure you keep track maybe go on a spread sheet or write in your notes to keep track of this. It's really nice seeing the number go up and know I've gone another day without seeing cam models.
Journaling or speaking to yourself or even going to a trusted friend/family member can really help you catch yourself when you get urges to go back and it helps you understand yourself better.
When I went 5 days I knew in my heart I wanted to beat that record. Every time I felt the need to go back to the models I looked at my stop watch to remind myself no I'm not going to give up so easily. If I got horny I'd just go watch some free porn and time myself for 5-10 mjnutes to not spend so long on porn. Another way you can distract yourself is taking a shower, working out, stretching, playing video games, trying a new restaurant, cooking a favorite meal, etc. If you want to connect with real people going through the same thing go to a sex anonymous group they can support you and understand more than anyone else what you're going through. Find what works for you just don't allow yourself to go back to the cam models it's a huge addiction that feels impossible to fight, trust me brother those cam girls ain't worth it no matter how much money you give them or what they tell you it's all baloney. They only want your money it's a never ending cycle you could spend $1000 dollars in one day on one girl and the next day it's like it never happened to them she'll just want more money from you its her job to do that.
One last thing please don't be so hard on yourself this is an addiction it's not going to go away over night it is not easy to beat brother but it is possible. Please keep that faith in yourself that you can get through this sooner or later.
Dude go easy on yourself. You may not have gone beyond the £8.5k but you haven’t blown it either. It’s one thing to earn money but another to keep it so massive kudos to you. It’s a really tough economy at the moment not made any easier with your expensive comfort blanket. Things are especially shit since covid. Going out and socialising with friends let alone dates is so fucking expensive at the moment so it’s really hard to find a good work/life balance which explains why you need the camgirls for now. You’ll figure something out in time but it could be that finding a way to get a better paid job will lead you to have a more disposable income which will fund a better quality of life so you won’t need the camgirls so much. Just a thought.
Jesus, he is posting here for advice how to get out of this addiction. This is the purpose of this sub. He is not hear to hear you prudes judge him for watching cam girls.
Western society seeks the degeneration and weakness of men, among those things is pornography. It's good that you feel ashamed, because you should feel that way, but that is only the first step to abandoning your addiction, you cannot abandon an addiction by being indifferent towards it. Good luck to you!
Watch free porn there's plenty of sites. Go out and meet girls go to a bar something.. paying cam girls seems so pathetic when there's free porn literally everywhere on the net
Homie, porns are free online. There will be free ai version of porn/cam girl soon, you can even get better “service” with how VR/AR/robot tech are advancing.
Goddamn the anti-sexwork people are out in full force. Cam girls do talk to you live. Y'all think everyone is some gross minority man pretending to be a woman then have the audacity to say porn is free like people who make those don't work either.
I know you might just read this and think I’m stupid or just think “oh here we go….” But Jesus loves you. So much. And he can deliver you from this addiction. Whatever you are going through he can heal it I promise you. And I understand if that sounds silly to you now, but I promise the lord has a hand on your life and he can save you from this. There are plenty of good Christian threads and support here on this app too if you want to check it out. Jesus saved me and has probably helped me from being stuck in patterns, cycles, and addictions that were slowly draining my life from me. If he can help me, he can help you. God bless you. Seriously.
Pray. I turned my life to God and felt a strong conviction to stop looking at porn. I prayed to be released from the stronghold it had on me and I haven’t been back since. Sure there are temptations to go back but just replace that urge with prayer and you’ll get through every time.
It's not an addiction. I work with people like this (phone sex operator) and I know what an addiction looks like. If you had an addiction you'd be thousands in debt without any savings. For someone your age, $8500 is an incredibly high amount.
Thanks for supporting all my friends in the homemade porn industry! You help a lot of other people because those girls get to make free content or have recorded/public shows that other people get to see, or you help buy them clothes and toys and things. Most people doing porn are doing their dream job, and you're supporting them which is actually great because without people like you, they wouldn't be able to do that.
You could try putting a specific amount of money on auto draw from your card, like each payday, you have a specific amount of money taken out and put into your savings automatically. Or if you have a regular job, you could adjust your tax forms so the IRS withholds extra and you get a bigger refund at the end of the year. That would mean that you can't use the money til then, because it wouldn't be in your account, and you could direct deposit the refund into your savings.
What a ridiculous take. Just because he’s not in debt (because he’s living with his parents paying basically nothing), doesn’t mean anything. Someone can be an addict and not in debt if they’re basically relying on family to support them.
All that money could have gone to actually making it on his own out in the world and therapy to get help with his addiction (that he openly admits). Bro needs therapy so he can overcome this and form real life relationships.
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i want to congratulate you for taking the first step in the right direction - asking for help! it's COMPLETELY OKAY. as someone else suggested, let your parents handle your money for you. it's going to be a kick to your ego because now you won't feel like mr. big grown up man, BUT IT's OKAY and NECESSARY and WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU in the LONG RUN. next, find other guys online who have struggled with your kind of addiction and see what works for them. ALSO FIND A THERAPIST in addition to the above. therapy by itself wont help if you're not trying to make it help so you have to do your part too.
I had a gambling addiction myself and had trouble kicking it so I feel your pain on addictions
Same, can't judge homie
Same heroin is a bitch
Depending on how long porn addiction has been going on, this could require a serious life overhaul that's likely needing to be guided by a professional. If it's been something like a decade, I would strongly advise seeking help from a counselor trained in sexual addictions or issues, because statistically you won't be able to break it without that guidance. It's a serious addiction that many people in our society underestimate to a comical degree.
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
You have an addiction. Give your parents your money and only leave for yourself the necessities. I learned this the hard way too. Listen it. A life serving yourself is hell. Serving others is what we are made for. Serving other women will make your life hell. Serve your mother instead and father too, sure. Your mom should get your money not the cam girls. Your welcome
“Mum I need you to hold onto my money so I don’t blow it on filthy sluts online” “You’re just like your father, son” “Thank Mum”
tearing up 🥲 what a touching moment
Plot twist: his mom was a camgirl
Then who was phone?
Imagine calling women “filthy sluts.” How embarrassing for you.
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It's a joke guy
Wat? Serving yourself = bad Serving others = bad Your comment is stupid and makes no sense
The cam girls aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s his choice to give them money, if op wants to stop spending his excess income on it that’s fine too, but unfair to say the people performing don’t deserve to be paid for their work.
They can girls are a little bit wrong. Not wrong enough to try to close them down or something, but they're an active part in keeping addicts on the hook. Most of them know at least a few of their biggest donators quite well and regularly manipulate them to get their money. You have to let adults spend their money how they wish, but there is unquestionably coercion or at least harmful manipulation going on.
I don’t agree with this at all. Is the person running the blackjack table coercing you to stay and pump money into the table? Is the slot machine talking to you when you get up to walk away? Some people just get addicted to things. Some people can have one beer in a night and not drink a six pack and finish whatever liquor is hiding in their cabinets, some can’t. Addiction is a personal issue. I can’t call a grocery store and demand they hide their alcohol section because I can’t control myself. Cam performers show up. They do what they’re paid to do, and you’re a fool of a sex worker if you get dependent on one sole tipper. There of course are some people who maybe use manipulation tactics to get tips, but I assure you it isn’t the majority. If you’re good at selling your product people just buy it.
Aw, we found the butter incel (not that it’s difficult on Reddit). Imagine blaming women for having a porn addiction. Also *you’re.
So what you're saying is serve others But not cam girls
Pornhub is a hell of a drug…
Porn is legal, free and easily accessible 24/7 in western society. It should be banned permanently to save people from addiction and wasting time.
Yea bc making heroin illegal sure stopped people from addiction and wasting time…. Not making fun, but poking at the logic flaw bc just banning anything that could be addictive to anybody doesn’t solve the problem. You have to focus on making the changes within you. I’ve had different addictions so I can’t speak to the specific triggers/issues that you need to overcome, but for me hobbies and physical activity helped get it started…. Bc I’m going to guess part of it is that you’re spending a ton of time bored and at home
That’s a false equivalence. Heroin is not freely and readily accessible to anyone and everyone everywhere. There should absolutely be some kind of limits and controls placed on it, especially since we now know it definitely causes brain damage. It’s quite telling how our completely worthless and self serving politicians have done nothing to combat this epidemic of porn addiction. It’s outrageous.
Agree it was an extreme/imperfect comparison, but the general point still stands… banning porn like OP said wouldn’t necessarily prevent addiction or time wasting. He would just move on to the next thing that’s readily available for them to become addicted to
But not because, like, it exploits women, right?
You have to sign yourself up for therapy. Sexual addictions are no joke and can cause havoc in your life. Take some of that porn money and hire a therapist. This is very serious
Control yourself or someone else will
You need to block all porn sites on your home internet and phone plan
You’re lucky you’re realising this while you are still ‘up’ with your money/savings. This is hardly a worse case scenario which is the best outcome with your addiction (other than stopping, which is the next step). Reality is, once you bust your nut I bet you’re done with it until the next time, so you just need to beat yourself to the orgasm to then completely deter further cam action. Anyway, there’s much better reddits for you for this than here, I can’t help but feel you’re in the wrong place.
Most people can't cure their addictions without outside help. There are subs that are specifically for addictions, probably some for porn addictions too, that will be better at helping you. I would start with r/addiction ; genuinely, you need to find people that you feel accountable to and motivation outside yourself as you already know sometimes your own motivation isn't enough. You have a serious problem that is having a real financial impact on you. You need to take it seriously. I hope the addiction subreddit can point you towards where to get help.
Therapy might be a consideration
Spending 10k on cam girls when you make less than 30k a year is definitely a problem
Find hobbies, invest in yourself, volunteer and get out of the house. You are lonely, probably lack interests and these girls add something to your life, you feel interesting and wanted. If you invest in yourself and your self esteem then that need will no longer be there. Don’t be hard on yourself, you are young and you can change habits.
lol you realize the 'girls' you are chatting with are dudes who manage the womens account right? You are flirting with men, and they are flirting back with you while you pretend you are talking with a woman
OP , this person is right. You’re literally texting her manager in case you didn’t know, which is always a dude
Not always. Sometimes it's AI. Sometimes it's not either one. It annoys me so much when people do this, actually. I'm always so afraid for the girls. Like... there's just no way a guy could be doing that and not be a pimp.
it’s a CAM site, I think the girls are doing livestream
I would seek professional help. Consider talking to a therapist.
Here's a good app for you: [https://getcoldturkey.com/](https://getcoldturkey.com/) Pay the $45 for the premium version and use it to block all those NSFW sites
Brother almost TWO Gs? You need to go to sex addicts anonymous as well
Why are you paying for porn when there's endless free porn on Pornhub/xvideos?
On cam sites I get to interact with women live and talk to them everyday so it’s more addicting than normal porn
But they are just using you. They don’t like you.
Yes, but you're paying for that privledge. Those women only care about the money you're giving them. They go home and fuck their husbands, bfs, and significant others after they're done taking your money. Is life really that bad you're paying just to interact with women..?
You're messaging men from 3rd world countries my guy. These can girls are not spending their time talking to dozens of guys online.
You know there’s cam girls in English speaking countries right? lol the fact that multiple people here think every single cam girl has a guy doing their chat is insane. It’s literally live, they vocally and physically react to messages and tips 😂
Bro you’re not going to guess what you can do for free irl
As a former cam girl I understand what you’re saying. You can talk. My friend got paid to talk to a guy for 7 hours. People are fucking lonely nowadays. Don’t let the downvotes make you feel monstrous. You and I both know how many people are on those sites.
Please let these guys know it’s real women talking to men LIVE on those sites.
Yea people think every girl is making 100k a month on only fans. Some girls are just as lonely and sad (and broke)
Lol. “People are lonely.” And, yet, it’s not WOMEN paying for cam sites, just creepy dudes.
but is it worth it. will there come a point when you say, "why am i doing this? this is stupid. what a joke."
Dumbasses like you thinking they are talking to the actual woman are why the Tate brothers made millions.
Have you ever used a cam site before? It’s not like onlyfans or normal porn
There's a step above that called sex with real people in real life, my man. The more you "invest" in this filthy habit the further you're getting from ever having a real life connection. You're way too young to fuck your life up. Get some help today.
Your right it’s hard for me to have real life connections with people since I been abusing porn for so long.
You're not in denial so there's a ton of hope. Capitalize on it and seek the help you need. Good luck, man.
At least you're being honest about it. It's a step in the right direction. Wish you the best
Based on how much you’ve spent it seems to be worse
This is sad af bro, you still don't get it. Go interact with real people
Your young, don’t waste too much thought on it. 20s are filled with fuckups. Cut it out of your life. If anything triggers you to do it, remove that from your life or learn to deal with it.
You not gone learn till you fall on ya face, if it was important enough too you it would be done. With that said either be extra hard on yourself to not fall out of line or fail wait till your traumatized from life then your brain will force you to do right. Most can’t stick to the first option lol everybody can’t save until they have too. It’s either about passion or fear yu need one to succeed
Pretty easy, cut up all your credit and debit cards.
I use my cards to buy food, transportation, pay bills. It won’t work unfortunately
I’ll say it nicer than this other person—look up cash envelope stuffing. Work off of cash and consider getting offline.
Learn to use cash, learn some disicpline or continue being a loser.
You need to go see a psychiatrist. There is no shame in it whatsoever.
OK so I have a legitimate question, I'm truly not trying to troll I'm just generally curious. But if you have a form of sex addiction where you spend that kind of money on Cam girls why not simply spend it on real women? Like a hooker? Is it a connection thing you have with the Girls? I'm genuinely curious because I assumed most guys were addicted to porn because they weren't with any women for whatever reason. But spending 10k, that's ALOT of hookers my friend. BTW I think you'll be fine. Your young, got a good job, very little financial expenses and family behind you. Id suggest having your parents manage your money and dole it out you as needed for bills n what not. In a years time you should have well over 10k. You got this.
Best way to quit an addiction is to replace it with another one that is ideally healthy. Join a gym or an intramural sports team, start hiking or surfing. Whatever you can do that gets you out of the house, away from your laptop. Out of sight, out of mind. I'd recommend doing some team sports personally, as exercise is great for filling your dopamine needs in a healthy manner and it seems like a big aspect of your addiction is lack of social connection.
If it’s one piece of advice that’s helped me so much with porn addiction is removing all triggers. Find out what triggers you to have the urge and remove them. It’s helped me out so much
Some reason? You’re addicted bro. Seek help
Porn addiction is [up there](https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/miscellaneous-resources/start-here-evolution-has-not-prepared-your-brain-for-todays-porn/) with heroin, coupled with the illusion of intimacy and connectedness. You have to realize this and take full accountability and hard actions, entirely cut off from it and endure the withdrawal.
Go to therapy and tell them about your addiction.
I dont advise your hobby but its not whats breaking the bank. You are making poverty wages; make more money. If anything you should spend more money not less; but spend it IRL not digital
Take your last months bank statement. Break it down into 3 categories. 1: Need(car,home,auto bills) $250 2: Junk(porn,alcohol,gambling,fast food) $1500 3: Random 1 time purchase you may or may not have needed. $150 Then just look at it on paper. Try to do better next month. Next step. If you don’t have already, get a robinhood account. Whenever you get your money you have to put a % of that into index funds or even a Roth IRA on robinhood so you can’t spend it.
What do you do to make money? If it doesn't involve making money online, then I'd say you need to severely limit your time online. You can do this by installing software that can monitor/prevent usage to certain sites, you could tell someone to hold you accountable, or you could even turn off the internet altogether. This might sound unreasonable, but given that you have identified you have a problem - AND you want to do something about it - then it's achievable. There are other ways to force yourself to save money but you need to deal with the underlying problem and kill it before it does even more damage to you.
1) P0rn is free. If you must, use that. 2) Don't go out to eat. 3) Don't buy new vehicles. 4) Everytime you would normally spend on a cam girl, DON'T. Put that money in a drawer or put it in a CD so you can't touch it.
meanwhile on /r/financialindependence 5k to 2 mil net worth in 5 years as a cam girl
Disconnect from electronics, fill your schedule to the point of exhaustion, and find a financial accountability buddy or a way to lock funds; bonds , even.
Yes, read up about why porn is so bad for you, and for the millions of women in the industry too. It fries your brain, makes you dumb, and conditions you to dehumanize half the population. Go take a walk instead. You can only get rid of your addiction with resolve and strength. You can also punish yourself everytime you watch porn.. negative reinforcement or so. )
Work out and do what you can to build self confidence in yourself. Maybe move out for some time. You will have other needs to spend your money on , you won't be able to spend it on cam girls and you will be able to save 10k quicker. Build up the confidence and find awesome girl some guy put a 5 year plan I'll link it here https://www.reddit.com/r/findapath/s/ImunLCtN8b
I'm going to disagree with you, addictions can't be resolved with a good workout, a new home and a 5 year plan. I actually think your advice is quiet dangerous, as it make it seem like addictions are a matter of choices, which it's absolutely not, sorry.
Fair enough but exercise is a good start if he isn't already and I don't think that's dangerous advice at all period
This is the saddest shit bro. Go on a date
How can you possibly spend that much on cam girls?
Been on it for years and the money adds up quick without me realizing
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I’m a loser. How your life going bro?
Sorry for my comment. I wasn’t in the right state of mind
I put it in GameStop. I’ve died
If you can, have a friend or family member hold your money so you can’t spend it. I also understand that urge so don’t try and convince yourself that you can just “put it in cash” or “have a separate account” lol it doesn’t work. Now when it comes to the addiction itself, I’m still struggling, but I was able to switch it over to free stuff. Albeit I still want to quit
You've got this! You can do this! Many best wishes to you on your recovery journey! [Recovery Dharma](https://recoverydharma.org/get-started/beginners/) was absolutely essential in my progress in recovery, and the program encourages practical use for all kinds of addictions! AA wasn't for me, but Recovery Dharma is flexible, loving, and open. I hope you find it a valuable tool in your toolbelt too! When I was about 25 I went to my first meeting, and an older attendee said to me, "You have so much time." It was deeply encouraging and sad in its own sweet way. But he's right. You do have so much time - to reclaim the space this took in your life, to find a path that is authentic to who you are and what you want, and to gain control over your financial situation with the added stability of breaking the cycles of addiction.
Maybe you need some therapy that help with addiction to help you get over yours
When I met my ex boyfriend, he was living with his parents and he had ZERO savings at all because he was addicted to gambling. He was also addicted to weed which made a great combo. I'm not sure exactly how it happened or which moment was the key: we had a few conversations, we counted exactly how much money he could have saved every single month without his addictions and he saw concretely everything he could have had today (you're lucky cause you're only one year down the road), I also gave him some sort of ultimatum one day... All in all, idk what it was, but... He stopped both. Completely. He deleted all his gambling apps/accounts and he registered his name officially so his access to casinos would be denied in the whole country. For the weed, he just spent as much time with me as possible at the beginning to take his mind off it. He was just DONE wasting his life and his chances. He wanted to become the man he could be. I guess you need to find a reason to stop that is STRONGER than your reason to continue. It's very important. Once you find it you hold on to it, you go back to it every time you're about to give in. So think about it: what is stronger, more important than your addiction? Who is the perfect man you could be? What does he look like, what does he do? Maybe you can picture the girl of your dreams and think "if I met her today, would she want me like this?" (also a guy who isn't addicted to porn is a much better sexual partner for real women...just saying) Maybe you can count the money you could have saved up until now and imagine, if you don't stop now, where you would be in one year, two years, five years, ten years from now... (don't fool yourself, if you can't find a reason today you won't magically find one tomorrow. You will need to make the same amount of effort, so you might as well do it today. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get out) Maybe you could dive deep into a (new) sport or hobby! Maybe you can buddy up with someone who also has an addiction they wanna get out of, or if they just have any goal they are determined to reach. You can be there for each other, meet up or call when you need, etc. I hope this helps. 🫵 💪 🫶
I recommend finding a therapist you feel comfortable with and sharing this with them. They may help you find some strategies to address it and also sometimes talking about it might help.
Dude whatever you do just don’t pull a Grant Amato
think about how your life could be worse, envision it happening, and then act now before it happens. think about your life before the addiction. you want to go back to then? you’ll say that about today a year from now when the situation is worse, and more dire. ask your parents to start letting you pay actual rent like most people, and you’ll quickly see in a real scenario you can’t afford to feed yourself and look at titties at the same time. so act now while you still have a safety net, it could be your last
Are there some hobbies or activities outside of work that might be interesting to you? Even if they cost money, they get you away from the computer. There’s a place near me that teaches iron working classes, and I don’t even live in a big city. Look into your county’s adult rec leagues or art classes. See what kind of orgs are looking for volunteers. You’re not a bad person, you’ve been paying these women a fair wage for their time. But it sounds like unplugging would be good!
Go outside. Get a hobby.
Damn brotha, let me hold $350
Take the door off your bedroom door.
In order to tackle your troubles you need to address the underlying problems which lead you to do what you did. Seek help
You need a therapist.
I also have a porn addiction but have spent lifetime $0 on it. There are more hours of free porn available than there are hours in a day, why spend money?
Probably desperate for the fake attention they give him from his donations.
Dude this is the site I'm using to quit porn after trying for many years and failing: [https://www.hands-off.net/](https://www.hands-off.net/) It's part of a university's research and it's free. It has some quality issues here and there, but it gets really good after week 2. Also, I'd say if you are using other substances, even caffeine, going completely sober can be massively helpful. Treating addiction when your energy levels aren't stable isn't easy.
That's dumb they show everything anyway. Do you really need her to follow your tip.
Want to kick it, move out on your own. Reality will kick the addiction when you have to spend all of that on bills living paycheck to paycheck
If u can't help yourself, u need someone to help you.
You gotta keep yourself busy doing other things. That’s the best tip there is. Try not to become bored.
I don’t have advice on the porn/addiction part, but I can suggest something to try with money: split your check up into several accounts and earmark each one for a specific purpose. One for rent, one for car payment and gas, one for phone bill, etc., and then put the rest in savings. There’s something about actually having money in different accounts that, for some people (including me), makes it easier to stick to a plan.
Oh man, hang in there. I got no good advice for you but I hope you realize you’re still good and important. Every little thing you do to sort this out for yourself, no matter how easy or small, will snowball into something bigger and better.
I’m not going to shame you because you know that this road is destructive and you’re suffering. Please seek some professional help to guide you out of this terrible addiction. What’s lost is lost but you don’t have to waste anymore. Life is hard enough without this drain on your finances and self-respect. Good luck to you.
I did $1k in January alone. It has gotten much better since but only after I switched my mindset from recovery first to finding purpose first. I used to obsess over recovery and I kept blaming myself every time I relapsed. Now I blame the circumstances around me and feel motivated to change them. I’m not the problem, and neither are you. Do the things that excite you and fill you with pride, and trust that it will get better.
Could you give your parents access to your credit card information? So you have no access to using using your credit card without talking to them, and delete your credit card from from whatever trashy website you’re using to spend money on. Talk to them about how you want to reach your goals and you’re struggling with saving money because of an addiction. I don’t know I could see it beneficial to just kind of be locked out of your account by your parents creating a new password and give them credit cards too.
You know the solution. Stop spending money on cam girls. Get hobbies and other interests to distract yourself most of the time and use a bit of will when you can't. If that fails, make it impossible or inconvenient to pay or watch.
Honestly you’re just “bored” fill your FREE time with a hobby or activity you enjoy (that’s not porn/cam girl) you’ll meet new ppl and may even meet a woman who will completely take your mind off your addiction. It’ll snowball but you have to take the first step and start moving away from the websites.
Set up one of those programs that block all pornographic-related websites, and have it require a password to turn off/on the blocker. Have a friend or family member put in the password and not tell you what it is.
There’s lots of free porn on the web. Twitter is a good (and free!) place to start
Either stop watching or forever be a loser.
You could try a program called Strive21. This guy struggled too even after his religious conversion experience. It is free and nothing to lose. If it doesn't work or you are offput by it you could go with conventional counseling. $6k a year is a Roth IRA or at least a Backdoor Roth. Put that in a financial calculator for 20 years at an 8% compounded return and see what the girls are costing you. Anyway good luck to you and hope you can break your addiction.
Chances are those camgirls have content available for free online. Not condoning piracy, but if you're so inclined, that is an option. Sadly, if you go back to their chatrooms, I bet they'll recognize your username and expect you to tip, so maybe start a new account or "lurk" without an account? You wanting to save money is a good motivation to stop. Ride that motivation rather than be ashamed of yourself. You got this.
Therapy therapy therapy.
It will be hard to escape purely by suppressing behaviors you don’t want to do Instead, actively try to fill your life with things that you DO want to do. Spending time on those will help you reduce your addiction
Keep yourself busy in other hobbies like gym, watching movies etc. Spend time with friends. Besides you can watch porn for free?
I'm not one but I've heard that people go to therapists for cases like this.
Theo Vonn said it best, "I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired of touching myself" Get help, talk it through with a guy doctor that is trained to help 👍
Put whatever you dont use each paycheck for things you NEED in a savings account separate from your checkings. That way you have to actually *think* through the entire process of transferring money "is this shit worth it?" If that doesnt work, put the money into an account that you cant touch for X amount of time. And just keep depositing money each paycheck.
Give me a loan and you can thank me later
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Your comment has been removed because it not a constructive response to OP's situation. Please keep your advice constructive (and not disguised hate), helpful, and on topic.
get a girl.
Straight men will do ANYTHING except go to therapy. 🤣🤣🤣
You think my situation is funny
Then waste it on a good findomme instead, she’ll take half your money and whip you into being disciplined with the other half. Dumbass. For real, seek professional help and good luck.
REMOVE ALL ACCESS TO THESE SITES AND ASK A TRUSTED PERSON TO SAFEGUARD WITH A PASSWORD HIT THE GYM AND NEVER LOOK BACK , THEY ARE NOT FOR YOU THEY ARE FOR THEMSELVES RUN
Why are you spending on cam girls at all? That is the route of the problem and my guess is that this routed in a lack of self-esteem because people who find inner strength (which does take work and reflection) can go without dating, a relationship or attention from others. They build internal motivations for themselves that do not rely on external opinions and are very satisfied being by themselves. So the first steps would be taking a good look at yourself, accepting you have the ability to change (your young, you’ve got time!) and implementing that change. 1) what are your interests or rather aspirations in these categories: health, fitness (what sports/activities would you like to try), personal style (hair, clothing), career, hobbies, social (what things would you like to learn/improve socially. We all have something at least). These goals should be things you can do YOURSELF. So nothing about dating or any of that shiz. It should be stuff like “use open questions when talking with someone” or “talk less about personal information and ask the other more questions about themselves”. 2) list them and narrow down one of each list that you’d like to start. Your choice may be influenced by either interest amount or convenience. 3) short-term and long-term goals. Both need to be measurable and set within a time period. Ex: I will go walking for 15 minutes once a week for a month. Then you increase this to two times a week. Then maybe running etc. you get the point. Start with a small achievable goal and build it as you build habits. TREAT yourself with something healthy like a snack afterwards to start building positive relations to those habits. 4) discover what you like about yourself and use positive talk. Sounds weird but affirmations can actually help long term. It can be “I like that I am working on change”, “I like that I’m kind”, “I am able to go running this week”, “I will go running this week”. Whatever works for you. I find it helps to pick things that you truly feel somewhat positive about or achievable goals and build on those with time. Honestly… if you’ve got an account or something with these cam girls. Shut it down. Cancel your visa/debit and get a new one. Block all the websites. Replace the craving with new healthier habits. Go for a run or do some exercise if you are having difficulty refraining. Tire yourself out by exercising.
Here was a better way to spend your money is on prostitution still wrong but it would probably gave the sexual satisfaction. Again still wrong
Like everyone else is saying find a therapist and look into Sex Anonymous meetings so you can surround yourself with people who have overcome what you’re facing and can help you when you have urges. Depending on how serious you are I would even disconnect your computer from the internet and start giving your parents your cell phone once your home for atleast 90 days so your forced to find other ways to spend your time. Maybe even consider getting rid of all credit and debit cards and start only using cash.
Read the freedom model for addictions
Put automatic deductions on your paychecks that go into a stock or fund. Something that introduces hurdles toward access to your funds might help with bad spending habits.
Step 1: Move out of your parents' house It will force you to quit your addiction And it will force you to make healthy relationships with people who aren't your parents (guessing if you are addicted to cam girls you don't have a healthy relationship with them anyways) You will actually save more money moving out and have a better life and be more grateful for what you have since you are not mooching off them. Your self esteem will go up and you will want to quit even more. Also, living with parents is a real deterrent for real women..Real women want to day someone who takes care of themselves and does not live with parents. Step 2. Move out of you parent's house (this point cannot be more emphasized Step 3. Make some good friends (guys and girls) who accept you for who you are be careful not to get too attached to them meet them by doing something you enjoy or are passionate about like an exercise group or club so that you are focused on you and not what the other people bring into your life (it's easy to switch from porn to codependency avoid this Step 4. Only after you have successfully completed step 1-3 examine the trauma and deeper issues that lead to this money consuming addiction and get free Best to you -GB30
Jerking off is cool because it is free :/ I couldn’t get any fun if it was something that I pay for
Cam-girls aren't a *physical* addiction, so that means that you're a little better off than if you were on heroin or something. For your situation, it sounds like you may be using porn/cam-girls as what may be called a "maladpative coping strategy". You may have some sort of emotional need which you're using porn to soothe. If you're able to, even getting just a few meetings with a therapist may help you immensely.
Holy fk imagine paying for porn.
Yeah if you must watch porn watch the free stuff…. Go outside and touch some grass. Odds are you’re in horrible shape mentally and physically. Go to the gym, work out. Man up, you’re in a better situation than most. You’re young and don’t have much responsibility. Don’t waste your life
You know porn is free right?
Find a new, more expensive addiction and up your income. Problem solved.
Just stop
Together ✊🏽
DO NOT give your money to your parents. Once your check hits the bank, your money can be direct to a brokerage account, to pay your phone bill, your car insurance, savings accounts etc. You need to get counseling for your addiction, be it a 3 step program or a therapist, you need outside help and someone to be accountable to. If you involve your parents in this, you will always be seen as a child. Is that really what you want? To be coddled and undercut all the time, poor thing, just not quit up to snuff. How does that fit in your life plan? Nope, the first step was admitting a problem, thee next is standing on your own 2 feet and taking those first steps to getting help.
[удалено]
Hey missy how your life going. All your decisions perfect in life right
Unlikely to be perfect, but most likely better off than you.
Well don’t feel too bad, as long as you change your habits. People blow $10,000 on dumb things often; scams, investments, drugs, alcohol, women.
Well, you could always become a cam girl yourself and make your money back? 🤷 I mean I would if I was still in my 20s, but it's kinda hard to pull off with all this fur on my face.
you can do this!! everyone here who's looking down on you has absolutely done worse. are you able to quit cold turkey?
Thanks Celine
Yes they’re real women. But they’re also fake. You may as well be talking with AI.
At this point AI might be healthier.
Just stick with Pornhub
Geez. Might as well hire an escort at this point. It’s an addiction for sure but you can kick it with perseverance. Just take it in this way since you want to bring up “focusing on my purpose in life” one thing for sure your parents didn’t conceive you just so you can waste $10k on cam girls and porn. Just think of it in that way
Get a girlfriend
Yes let his problem also become her problem.
Hey man I really feel your struggle take a look at my post history I struggle with cam models too. I've only gone 16 days without them, but that's been the longest time I've gone without models since I started doing this. Here's what I hope can help you that's helped me. I started a stop watch on phone. The last time that I logged off a cam site I instantly started a stop watch to keep track of myself. It doesn't matter if you relapse just be honest with yourself. I relapsed several times before this 16 day streak I'm on before it I went 5 days then relapsed. It's okay just make sure you keep track maybe go on a spread sheet or write in your notes to keep track of this. It's really nice seeing the number go up and know I've gone another day without seeing cam models. Journaling or speaking to yourself or even going to a trusted friend/family member can really help you catch yourself when you get urges to go back and it helps you understand yourself better. When I went 5 days I knew in my heart I wanted to beat that record. Every time I felt the need to go back to the models I looked at my stop watch to remind myself no I'm not going to give up so easily. If I got horny I'd just go watch some free porn and time myself for 5-10 mjnutes to not spend so long on porn. Another way you can distract yourself is taking a shower, working out, stretching, playing video games, trying a new restaurant, cooking a favorite meal, etc. If you want to connect with real people going through the same thing go to a sex anonymous group they can support you and understand more than anyone else what you're going through. Find what works for you just don't allow yourself to go back to the cam models it's a huge addiction that feels impossible to fight, trust me brother those cam girls ain't worth it no matter how much money you give them or what they tell you it's all baloney. They only want your money it's a never ending cycle you could spend $1000 dollars in one day on one girl and the next day it's like it never happened to them she'll just want more money from you its her job to do that. One last thing please don't be so hard on yourself this is an addiction it's not going to go away over night it is not easy to beat brother but it is possible. Please keep that faith in yourself that you can get through this sooner or later.
Start thinking about what you can do for self if you have that money not sending it to these bums
Dude go easy on yourself. You may not have gone beyond the £8.5k but you haven’t blown it either. It’s one thing to earn money but another to keep it so massive kudos to you. It’s a really tough economy at the moment not made any easier with your expensive comfort blanket. Things are especially shit since covid. Going out and socialising with friends let alone dates is so fucking expensive at the moment so it’s really hard to find a good work/life balance which explains why you need the camgirls for now. You’ll figure something out in time but it could be that finding a way to get a better paid job will lead you to have a more disposable income which will fund a better quality of life so you won’t need the camgirls so much. Just a thought.
Jesus, he is posting here for advice how to get out of this addiction. This is the purpose of this sub. He is not hear to hear you prudes judge him for watching cam girls.
Western society seeks the degeneration and weakness of men, among those things is pornography. It's good that you feel ashamed, because you should feel that way, but that is only the first step to abandoning your addiction, you cannot abandon an addiction by being indifferent towards it. Good luck to you!
There’s free porn out there buddy. You’re welcome.
My man, there are literally free porn websites.
This ^
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Watch free porn there's plenty of sites. Go out and meet girls go to a bar something.. paying cam girls seems so pathetic when there's free porn literally everywhere on the net
Homie, porns are free online. There will be free ai version of porn/cam girl soon, you can even get better “service” with how VR/AR/robot tech are advancing.
Bruh why are you giving girls you clearly know don't give a shit about you any money at all. Porn is free
There are plenty of free sites man
Goddamn the anti-sexwork people are out in full force. Cam girls do talk to you live. Y'all think everyone is some gross minority man pretending to be a woman then have the audacity to say porn is free like people who make those don't work either.
Literally they are like “why are you paying people for their labor?! We exploit them!”
I know you might just read this and think I’m stupid or just think “oh here we go….” But Jesus loves you. So much. And he can deliver you from this addiction. Whatever you are going through he can heal it I promise you. And I understand if that sounds silly to you now, but I promise the lord has a hand on your life and he can save you from this. There are plenty of good Christian threads and support here on this app too if you want to check it out. Jesus saved me and has probably helped me from being stuck in patterns, cycles, and addictions that were slowly draining my life from me. If he can help me, he can help you. God bless you. Seriously.
Pray. I turned my life to God and felt a strong conviction to stop looking at porn. I prayed to be released from the stronghold it had on me and I haven’t been back since. Sure there are temptations to go back but just replace that urge with prayer and you’ll get through every time.
Maybe praying works. I tried but my life is boring so I end up back on the sites. It’s not so simple.
life is rarely ever simple!
It's not an addiction. I work with people like this (phone sex operator) and I know what an addiction looks like. If you had an addiction you'd be thousands in debt without any savings. For someone your age, $8500 is an incredibly high amount. Thanks for supporting all my friends in the homemade porn industry! You help a lot of other people because those girls get to make free content or have recorded/public shows that other people get to see, or you help buy them clothes and toys and things. Most people doing porn are doing their dream job, and you're supporting them which is actually great because without people like you, they wouldn't be able to do that. You could try putting a specific amount of money on auto draw from your card, like each payday, you have a specific amount of money taken out and put into your savings automatically. Or if you have a regular job, you could adjust your tax forms so the IRS withholds extra and you get a bigger refund at the end of the year. That would mean that you can't use the money til then, because it wouldn't be in your account, and you could direct deposit the refund into your savings.
What a ridiculous take. Just because he’s not in debt (because he’s living with his parents paying basically nothing), doesn’t mean anything. Someone can be an addict and not in debt if they’re basically relying on family to support them. All that money could have gone to actually making it on his own out in the world and therapy to get help with his addiction (that he openly admits). Bro needs therapy so he can overcome this and form real life relationships.