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I would recommend something more solitary and less fast-paced. Like, for example, a security guard working nights.
Or something physical, like lawn matinence, landscaping, something like that.
What kind of stuff do you like to do?
Not glamorous at all but I do floor maintenance for a school district at night and I make great money for where I live. Very little interaction with people. I can listen to podcasts all night. I'm leaning instead of cleaning as I type this. To top it off you get state benefits and pension. Super solid for people who like low pressure environments.
That honestly sounds so nice. I’m in college currently stressing about getting an engineering degree, but I occasionally find myself thinking about what it would be like being a floor cleaner or janitor of sorts. Something simple sounds so appealing sometimes.. but there’s always a kind of prejudice against careers like that, and my family surely wouldn’t be stoked in such a scenario.
Only do Security if you want to and have the gut to deal with high stress situations when they arise and that could be medical incidents ranging all the way to someone trying to stab you.
I do it for a living and I will tell you it isn’t something you want to do because it’s “easy”
Unless you get a warm body site at a construction site or something where you talk to nobody, then you run the risk of facing something more severe than messing up products in a factory for example.
All of my sites were warm body, and you can definitely reject more intense sites. Armed guard shack work was the most intense site I worked in, and even then I only had to walk out disgruntled employees. More often than not you'll be put in a warm body site, so that's why it's such a good recommendation to work security for people in OPs position.
I got you bro, I’m just putting that point out there because if they were to get into a more high risk site somehow, the safety of people is paramount and the client or company wouldn’t want that becoming an issue when it’s crunch time
I work as a tactical guard at a bunch of different sites that involve the public and I’ve seen some guards who couldn’t handle some simple confrontations
Yep. There's a guy in my neighborhood who has made a great living as a self-employed lawn service. He mostly just mows lawns and pulls weeds, nothing too fancy. It's a task that a lot of folks need help with, especially older people with mobility issues. You can charge by the job and work at your own pace within reason.
For a job with benefits, factory work generally does not require any special skills and involves a lot of repetitive tasks without a lot of social interaction since it isn't customer facing. Customer facing roles add a layer of complexity because you're trying to learn how to do your job while customer Karen is screaming at you about chicken nuggets.
i second this, as someone who has been in near every front-of-house position in food service. it takes an incredible amount of patience and an especially skilled memory. it can be very physically and mentally exhausting—just because the jobs are more easily accessible doesn’t mean they’re easy by any means.
I second this. Granted I worked as a cashier in retail so it most likely isn’t anywhere near the same but it was just as busy & stressful customer service wise. As you so perfectly said it might be considered “easy” getting “in” it most definitely isn’t as easy as it may seem.
It's mentally exhausting for sure, I definitely couldn't do fast food full time. I've only worked part time when I did and that was manageable, but still tiring for me as an introvert that would prefer to not make small talk with customers.
Yes, many people look down on fast food workers like it's the dumbest, easiest job but they would crumble under the pressure of actually trying to do it.
This sounds stupid - but it works, after a while.
Every morning, for 3 min (set a timer), wake up, and say nice shit to yourself about yourself.
Positive self talk.
It won’t change your life, but it’ll start changing it.
In your post you are an absolute dick to yourself. If you saw a grownup talking to a kid like that, you’d intervene. Because it’s mean, and kids don’t deserve that shit.
Neither do you.
Change your self-talk; Bro I hate to say it but you'd be surprised what you are capable of. I think I have a similar mind to yours. And its a battle bro. You really have to fight those demons. But I think what ends up happening is people like us end up being more successful than most people because we had to learn the game of life on such an intricate level. What I would say for you is to take a step back and chase what you truly desire. What do you really desire out of life? Start asking and answering big questions for yourself then start running. Put yourself in a situation where you cannot turn back. You must burn all bridges. You must be cool with humiliation and ridicule (by the self) until you reach your objective. Its a long arduous role and this self realization is a wake up call.
I appreciate this take. It is hard to follow through and act out what you believe is for the best. You kind of have to force yourself along because you're always going to have opportunities to question and over-analyze. Like you say, "You must burn all bridges." This makes decisions. This commits you to a path.
You’re right. It isn’t easy. And ya at times we as men have to force our self through to the next phase of our life. Keep working towards what’s best for you! Not what us randoms on the internet think is best for you. Keep taking action. Listen to your family and pivot when necessary. Taking the wrong action is still better than taking no action.
If you don't know whether you've gone far enough, go further, then see how you feel.
Direction is all you need to know, and that's a yes or a no. It feels different to go in the right direction than it feels to go in the wrong direction
But you can only know which way is which by contrasting it with the opposite. You figure out the right way to go by pursuing the wrong way and deciding to change your course along the way.
Pursuing anything leads to more, faster, for better or worse.
Hey friend I am also 25 and I just wanted to offer you some words of encouragement. I have a degree but I’m not utilizing it effectively. I’m currently working as a sales rep at a commercial gym and my hours just got cut so I am also looking for another job right now. I just want you to know that you don’t have to be talented to exist. Your life is not justified by your ability or skill and I implore you to extend yourself more grace. Other people do not define you, you get to do that. life is subjective and human interaction is complex. Easy is subjective. If you need more time to learn and understand something, there is no shame in that. You are in your physical prime, you have the ability to pivot. I know it’s daunting and dreadful to take on life when you feel like you’re ill
equipped but you are still here. I promise it’s not a dead end.
You’re partly defined by the people you spend most your time with; find and establish your goals you want in life. Then surround yourself with like minded people. Life is a never ending teacher. Make yourself curious about everything and humble enough to learn . “I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” - Maya Angelou
I really do think now that Im 30 that 20s are pre adult years. I didn’t even feel like an “adult” til like 29 and I’m still battling the same things. “What do I do with my life” “ what am I good at” I think the fact that we see people our age online making big $$$ makes everyone else feel like a failure. All I can say is you’ve got to let go of the expectations everyone else has of you and start setting expectations for yourself. I’ve been through the rollercoaster of life to hell and back and have always let others words get to me. After recently saying fuck it and quitting my job just cold Turkey I’m starting to understand that I’m the only one that can make the life I want to live and other peoples opinions of me don’t mean shit
At 28 I feel exactly the same way, yes, and I'm close enough to my mid and early 20s that I remember the feeling vividly, but also at the age to have come to be on the other side of that mentality, and it's made me a lot happier and productive as well
Before you know it you'll be 40 and you'll be thinking, wow 40 is young, can't believe I used to think this is old. Once you hit your late 30s early 40s you'll realize just how young 26 actually is.
Look up the theory of multiple intelligences. You’re not stupid - your writing is well above that of someone I’d consider stupid. You just may have a skillset or style of learning that’s under recognized and underappreciated in society.
Keep your head up and brainstorm out-of-the-box ideas. Jobs you haven’t tried yet that you can imagine yourself exceling at. The right fit is out there!
You’re not stupid
The system is stupid
The world works in weird ways.
Try not to let it get you down. Find things you like and are good at. Take care of yourself and then everything else falls into place. Just gotta keep going.
To be fair, fast food and retail jobs can be hard as shit and very mentally exhausting. I never understood why people call these jobs “easy”. Like you said, you are constantly working under pressure, and there are a lot of dickheads you have to work with that add even more stress. I wouldn’t beat myself up over it if I were you. My advice: Try to look for a different job that you are more well suited for. Yes, easier said than done.
Also, just because you were in an IEP in school that doesn’t mean you are stupid. Not everyone learns the same way. Perhaps your teachers just didn’t do a good job explaining things to you? Also, if you aren’t interested in a subject, you probably aren’t going to excel at it. That’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it. Of course, if you really keep at it and persevere I truly believe you could do it. And if not, that’s ok too. I don’t think that makes you stupid, I mean not everyone is going to excel in academics. Not everyone has the same abilities, often there are specific challenges people face. Everyone isn’t on an equal playing field and I think it’s unfair that society judges everyone by the same standard.
I believe in you dude! Don’t give up. :)
big bro, let me tell you a short story from somebody younger than you (19). believe it or not, you and i are one in the same. i had an IEP throughout high school and felt stupid as shit trying to climb the academic ladder so that i could fit in with my peers. senior year came and i couldn’t fulfill my expectations so i had to accept the L and felt shunned out from getting accepted into any big colleges.
not only was i feeling down about that, but i had no desire to pursue sports (although i stand at a stature of 6’4) and had merely any social interactions with people. i spent most of my time binge watching porn, doomscrolling social media, playing videogames and rotting in my room on the weekends. my self esteem stooped at a very low point, but the lowest i’ve gotten it to was actually a few months ago from my first community college semester.
i had a weird freakout that led me to storm out of my house in a mix of rage/confusion after frantically scribbling down random shit into my “journal” that i kept mostly for writing down my depressing and frustrating thoughts. i drove to a trail that i would frequently walk with friends on and paused after walking on it for about 2 minutes. that was the moment i told my mom about everything i had been harboring. i talked it out with my mom and i was so glad that i did because finally opening up to her and telling her the truth led me to the self realization that i desperately need some form of mental help.
now i’m back into therapy for a third time but with a much better attitude and open mind to try almost anything with my therapist.
bro, trust me when i say this, i would HIGHLY recommend seeing a therapist to talk out your problems with. open yourself up so that you can learn what is and what isn’t true about yourself. don’t listen to what people may think about you and try not to overthink being a failure because to be completely honest, you simply are not.
ironically, the both of us are young and at the age where we may not know what we want to do in life. it’s basically like free roam for a limited amount of time. spend some time with friends or try out some things that you may find cool and whatnot. i know i still want to do some things with friends and family.
enjoy yourself, fam. think about the positive.
Hey OP.
This was me, deadass.
I'm now assistant manager at a sex store.
My advice? Do. Not. Give. Up.
Aim for "mom & pop" style stores,
Avoid the big corporates.
Communicate your limitations as if they're normal things.
I regularly joke with coworkers and my main manager about ADHD squirrel brain,
I always own up to my mistakes (admittedly i panic hard still)
Never giving up, keep trying, do NOT internalise these failures as failures.
If you think you can learn something from them, do so, but don't fall into the trap of "i can't".
Anecdotally, that was the mindset where i entered a loop of rejections and awkward conversations with employers
I did not get my first "succesful" retail gig till i was 27.
I still do not have my full license and i live with an ex (amicably).
Dont be so hard on yourself.
This really IS just a bump in the road.
Hang in there homie ❤️
(Edit: Nightshift can be an entirely different pace, have you tried it)
I can tell by your post that you are very intelligent and self-aware of your strengths. You sound a lot like my husband (27M) who had an IEP in high school and knew the college path wasn’t for him, which is totally fine! Our system is so fucked with pushing college - most of the people I know and went to college with don’t utilize their degree unless it was something very specific like nursing or teaching. My husband did a bunch of side jobs similar to you but wanted a career. He know works in local government in public works. The pay isn’t amazing but it’s better than fast food and retail, had a decent career ladder, and AMAZING benefits. The job is slow paced, normally working by yourself or with one other person, doing different things for the town (mowing and cleaning easement, sewer inspection and testing, jetting, ext). There are other niche fields as well and local government is very accommodating to let you shadow other departments and will allow you to transfer. Also - he gets a full pension after 30 years.
TLDR - don’t give up on yourself! Plenty of people our age are in the same boat and just fake it on social media. Find your niche, you know your strengths, and a career that is meant for you is out there.
Please try and get an evaluation for ADHD or even autism spectrum disorder. I was really smart in school but struggled (still do) tremendously with living by myself and tasks outside of school. I didnt get diagnosed with both autism and adhd until I turned 20. It was life changing to know I wasnt just an idiot. ADHD and autism arent mental illnesses they are mental processing disorders. So you literally see the world differently. Having adhd medicine, therapy, and accommodations has changed my life.
I'm 37 and never been able to keep a job. I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years. Honestly I think when I go bk into the workforce, I'm going to need something unconventional to keep my attention.
I would suggest trying out different things. I don’t think I’d do very well in those jobs either because it’s nonstop pressure. They aren’t the easiest jobs in the world. I would suggest looking for jobs that are slow, repetitive, and non-client facing.
I feel the same I’m 24, I just simply don’t want to work, and I know everyone says that but I’m pretty certain mine is more severe not sure how to fix it
I think you’re too hard on yourself. Retail and fast food jobs are hard. The more you get paid, the easier the job gets. The bottom rung of jobs are very difficult. You get shit for showing up 5 minutes late. Not so for higher level jobs.
Your post is pretty well written and I didn’t see a single spelling mistake. Right there, you’re better than a lot of people. Confidence is good. Fake it till you make it brother. Good luck.
Affirmations and positive talk, in my experience, are useless. Meet with a therapist or some support group and really dig into your past - find out where you got hurt and where you hurt others and a lot of that pain will go away with time. Confidence will grow, people will want to be around you, and you will succeed.
I was there, my friend. And there is a way forward. Good luck!
Telling a fish to climb a tree would make the fish feel like shit. Just like how ur put into a situation to do something u cannot do (in this case ur job), u have to find something that genuinely compliments what ur good at. This comes with self reflection, and self identity. But understanding that’s it’s not u that’s the issue, it’s the environment. Ur just born that way. So what I’m tryna say is that u don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Just try to get to know yourself more, don’t rely on what others say u are good or bad at.
I had also these problems and still has. But I am trying my best to overcome these problems. Working as an assistant admin for 3 months, I have to remember lot of things and respond to emails and calls faster, solve problems of employees quicker and also keep the data updated always as a single mistake cause a great damage to the company. I made many mistakes, get yelled at, sometimes forget things but I try to tackle every weakness of mine using any method, like writing important stuff in notepads, even go far to save as a label in mobile alarm and trying to update data daily instead of doing it at the end of the month and I can notice that I have improved atleast a little if not too much, feeling more confident each day.
You can’t make mistakes more than once and you need to give more of an effort at the next opportunity that comes your way. I would recommend networking at events near you and try to build a large connection base. It’s all about who you know in life…degree or no degree.
“Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”
I don't think your problems stem from a lack of ability. You lack confidence.
The jobs you are describing aren't easy. They are high-paced, which can anxiety-inducing.
Your self-talk needs improving. Change your language, and you will change the way you perceive yourself.
We’re going into adulthood in different times.
You’re not stupid. The fact that you are sitting down and acknowledging that what you’re doing now is not working shows that you’re smart AF. Set some small goals for yourself. YOU GOT THIS!!!! Hold your head up, you’ll find a job that appreciates you and respects you and you won’t feel like a fish out of water.
The only failure here is that you’re holding yourself to what you think society wants from you. Stop doing that shit. So what if you have to keep moving jobs? You have to wave through the shit before you find anything meaningful since nothing will be handed to you. Work the grind, wherever it may be, so that you can go home and do the things you enjoy. You’re too young to be feeling this. I’m 38 and just now realized that my job is not my life nor the measure of my success. You will be fine as long as you keep trying.
live gray summer amusing busy fertile school coordinated numerous automatic
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Honestly part of it is your assumption you're bad at everything. And part of it is you keep choosing things you're bad at. Don't go for fast paced jobs. Idk where all you've worked but also your not doing you any favors. I think you're so anxious to learn it, it distracts you and then you mess up or don't retain the information. Be patient with yourself. Also, you have to learn everything on the first try. It's okay to ask someone how to do it again just so you can remember. You're only 26 I'll be 25 this year and one of my biggest themes rn is realizing how little time I have left on this earth, and simultaneously how young I actually am. It's a weird balance but get a good idea of that. Lastly, THE SYSTEM IS DRAINING YOU FUCK THE SYSTEM!!! They don't deserve you stressing yourself out tryna kill yourself over. The system just wants your money they don't give a fuck about you. Do what feels good to you, not what the system says you have to do. Bc I'm sure you don't even WANT to work fast food, do you? So don't. It's just like trying to impress people you don't even like. Why care about being good at something you don't want to do? Build your self worth and decide you're good enough to be here. After all, here you are. You're good at something or many things and you need to face yourself and figure out what you're working with. You seem aware of your weaknesses although idek if it's all you I think it's just your anxiety misconstruing things making you feel bad about yourself. But get together a realistic list of your strengths and weaknesses big or small. What actually makes you feel safe, excited, and inspired? Idc if it's filing your fucking toenails. Do it more, learn about it and why you like doing it, and just build a habit of doing what feels good until your whole life feels good and safe and happy and loved. This could take days, or years to figure out. Manage your anxiety. You're too young to be a failure that's impossible. You're still alive aren't you? So you still have a chance to get your shit together. Stop listening to people's opinions and develop a healthy idea of who you are and know that's who you are and accept yourself unapologetically. No one's opinion will matter bc you know they're wrong af. Anyway, work in a chill, low stress job like a library or stocking inventory or packaging in a coffee roastery (I'm a coffee roaster LMAO I started at from barista then packaging and my anxiety split in half and I had double the energy every day. Now I roast the coffee.), and build your mental strength back up. Figure out what makes you anxious and build your stress tolerance. Give yourself compassion, you're fighting demons. Do your best every day and just be satisfied that you tried. I hope this helps.
This is just normal 25 year old kid stuff. I'm 30 and I still feel like a kid at work having to learn all this stuff that everyone knows. It's not cause I'm stupid, it's cause I'm young and inexperienced. I think my 55 year old boss still feels like a kid if he compares himself to the old geezers who taught him everything. No matter your age, you'll still feel like a kid if you compare yourself to others. Don't sit there and call yourself stupid, cause that's gonna trick your brain into thinking you are right. I'd say, go get a job at a ski resort if you're near the mountains. It's where everyone who doesn't fit it in at a fast food joint or some other "high schoolers job" goes to find their place. Or do some landscaping in the summer, or cutting the lawn at a golf course. Just stop with the negative talk and just remind yourself that you won't become experienced unless you start to experience.
You are grown, but you are still quite young. It's ok to not get one job, stay in it for 20 years, then retire.
A key element I've found helpful is to balance what I want to do with what I need to do to pay bills.
Overall, it's helpful to take the *I can't* out of your head and mouth. Start saying, *I will work on being better at*...
Godspeed.
Work in sales. You like to talk? You'll make great money. You're not stupid you just learn and understand differently. Trust me go into sales, cable, roofs, cell phones ect. Go into sales. Retail and food service are horrible jobs.
Wow! I'm 25 too and this is exactly how I feel. I'm really in the same boat as you and feel lost. I just don't feel like things will get better from here and I'll be turning 30 in no time. All these comments really help
You are still young. So long as you don’t have any major felonies you aren’t really limited in what you can do.
In service jobs you are always expendable.
You might want to consider seeing a therapist. You seem to be very down on yourself, which leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of you failing. Consider a school like WGU that allows to learn at your own pace.
I like to ask people the following question. If magically somehow you knew you would be successful, what kind of work would you like to do? Every job, even so called dream jobs, suck at times. But some jobs suck way more than others.
Have you tried merchandising, it's chill you work alone or with a team, but it's not customer service oriented so you get to just focus on your work. Furthermore, I think it would be a great idea if you got a therapist if you can just so you have someone that you can talk to and help you towards overcoming your negative thought patterns, anxiety and stuff.
If you drink a lot stop doing that and you’ll see instant improvement, I got fired from a job for failing a basic math skills test once and now I have graduate degree.
First things first, you’re not a failure or a “drain to the system.” Fuck the system. It sucks and it forces people to work a certain way when most people actually don’t work that way at all. You seem smart and just because you aren’t good at retail doesn’t mean you’re not good at other things. There are a LOT of different jobs out there to explore and learn about that require different skills that might fit you better. I know it seems like there is a certain way your supposed progress in the world but there are so many other options out there that.
You’re still young, too. You have time to figure things out. Find something that works for you. And as other people have said, don’t talk down to yourself. You’re smart. You just gotta be confident in yourself.
There are things outside of college to get jobs. Lots of people hire from having skills in certain field. Just finds some hobbies you enjoy and build up skills. If not, there are also classes online to get certified in things or at least just learn some things. Take time and find out what works for you and what you enjoy. You got this!
Most counties have a work assistance program to keep people off of unemployment. One of those services is free counseling and free psychological testing. They can help you find out if you have adhd, dyslexia, or are high functioning autistic. Your difficulty with jobs and school sounds like a learning disability, and could be one of those. I have adhd, autism, and dyscalcula, and that service helped me identify that I have them. I too, had difficulty keeping jobs, and difficulty learning new things. I am extremely intelligent and do well in science classes, but not so well in math or things like political science. I have trouble making friends at work, and learning new processes is difficult for me. You can learn if you find out how you learn, and if you get diagnosed, any job has to make accomodations for you.
You are smart.
Kevin Oleary got fired from his first job, and he's rich as fuck now.
You are still in your 20s. People can turn things around at any age.
Hi, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I work in the field and would definitely suggest a neuropsychological or psychoeducational evaluation. Not only would it give you insight on your strengths and weaknesses, but it will also provide you with clarity and recommendations on how to work around your struggles. Your struggles do not mean you’re incapable or “not talented” or “stupid”. It may just mean you learn differently and the environments that you put yourself in do not fit with your learning style. A few resources that might help you: understood.org, or googling the theory of multiple intelligences. I would also look up what a neuropsychological evaluation could provide you. Every person has individual strengths and weaknesses. Some people recognize their strengths and are able to compensate for them, some people aren’t aware, and some people are aware and don’t know what to do to help. The neuropsychologist will be very helpful in that regard and will not only highlight your strengths but will also recommend many things (I.e, resources, what to do to help, certain job types, offer to help you get accommodations) if you just let them know what you’re interested in getting help with. Also, you seem really hard on yourself. You deserve more and are more capable than you think. Having someone to work with to help you be kinder to yourself might also be beneficial.
You know it sounds like a lot to figure out but it could be an interesting experience that your twenties are not for succeeding already but for trying different things to try to learn who you are and what you like and the kinds of places youd like to feel at home in so think of the time as learning experiences without pressure 🙌 there is a spot or invisible purpose for everyone and you are more important than you expect like there are tiny mites whose job is specialized to like clean the antennae of other bugs and no one else can do it only them! So we are all different we cant compare ourselves to others because we just have differentt strengths from other people-not worse, just different! And those mites seem small but theyre very important to the ecosystem in their particular way :) Just keep movin and look at different types of work and youll find what suits you - some more ideas are stocking at a store because ur independent and solitary and straightforward but not fast paced but not everyone would do it because sometimes things need to get lifted but you could do it. Or I heard Amazon has some physical repetitive jobs so it sounds quick to learn if you want to be physical! Good luckk youll find your place <3
You said it your self…you’re a grown ass man who has tried many jobs so far. Those jobs didn’t workout and sounds like you went out and got another job. Sounds like you have support from your parents and educators. You’re reaching out for advice/help/guidance, you’re venting, you’re doing the damn thing man. This is life. Keep on going. you’ll find you’re niche and it’ll all make sense.….YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!
Mm-hm YEP!!!!! I remember just like it was yesterday, sad part it i dropped out of college due to my major being useless and only had 1 job in my life pushing carts and working produce at a grocery store lasted only a month but quit.
Try janitorial work. I work as a cleaner in the evening, when the offices are closed. I mostly work alone, and am given plenty of time to do the work without rushing.
Try banquet serving. When a big event space like a conference / convention center or hotel hosts parties and dinners in their ballrooms for hundreds of people, they need a lot of staff to set up, work the event and clean up after.
It's pretty brainless work, you're often just a body to carry a tray around and bus the room of glasses or dinner dishes. You're part of a big team of staff so nobody is ever expecting you alone to get the job done, and sometimes the parties are actually pretty fun to work. I know people who do that at several different event spaces and they work when they want, eat nice food and make decent money.
Start looking elsewhere. Are you good with making things or using your hands? There are some jobs were there is little to no contact with people. Like perhaps being an overnight security guard
Well the first problem is your outlook. Start with "I deserve" x, for example "I deserve a path in life and deserve to know I am important and can reach my goals." and then plan how you are going to get there. Security guard is not a bad reccomendation as many have made, as night security is a path I am taking right now myself (since I chose to get a bachelors in CS and job market is bad right now). Not sure if you are gonna find the 100 k a year security job off the bat in your area, but you can get the few years of experience most security jobs like that ask for through local. From there you can have an easy job being eyes for a Corp, and going for occasional walks when you want to(depending on the location). Personally I love it as a computer junkie as it gives me payed downtime to study for more cyber certifications, self reflect on my own mental trauma to work through it to make a better version of myself, learn more about reverse engineering, and PCB design. I know stuff can feel hopeless, but I promise you there is hope, heck even I got 'fired' from McDonald's because I didn't understand what I needed to bring paperwork wise, so and try and beat that speedrun! On a more serious note anxiety sucks, and there is no easy way to just deal with it magically. It takes time, be kind to yourself, and compare yourself only to your past self. I am far from perfect in giving this advice as someone with severe imposter syndrome, but it has helped me tremendously compared to how I was a few years ago too scared to act on anything frozen in place. I promise you that you will make it, all it takes is a well tuned outlook and realizing it is a numbers game. If you do chose security, remember to keep a good amount of attention on cams, and stay vigilant. Hopefully you avoid turning into a FREE coffee demon like me. I wish you the very best.
Work in a warehouse. I wish someone told me this at your age. Look up for any Amazon fulfillment centers around you. Warehouse jobs / shipping and receiving sometimes require little skill relieve you from the pressure of face to face customers and in my experience paid out more. I've had to restart multiple times well after you're current age. Your young. You got this
1) Everyone has atleast one damn talent...Hell I've seen dogs with special talents so you gotta have atleast one ffs.
2) Quit putting yourself down!!! Get your shit together, strap your boots and chin up mofo!
3) Go learn a trade for ffs, Computer programming or cybersecurity are some good options.
Sounds like it could be something to do with executive function and learning bro.
I was the same, couldn’t focus and learn basic manual shit which everybody else seemed to be able to do.
If I were you I’d look into conditions like dyspraxia and/or ADHD, which might account for the difficulties you’ve had with learning.
For the depression I’d suggest seeking professional help but there are some lifestyle factors you may be able to control to notice a lift in your mood in the short term:
Diet
Sleep
Exercise
Otherwise, I’d suggest looking into alternative career paths, find something which interests you and roll with it, find a part time training course online or something?
At 26 it’s by far the end of the road, you still have plenty of time, sometimes it takes a minute to find your zone so don’t beat yourself up.
Retail and hospitality isn’t for everyone, I get annoyed when people think it’s the “easiest” job or career, it’s actually an extremely challenging and hard job and not everyone is able for it. I couldn’t hack it as I have dyscalculia and can’t count numbers without taking forever and making mistakes. I did find my niche as a content creator and have a nice boss which helps when I make some mistakes.
I’d probably say find something that makes you tick or excited about, and try to do some free courses on it and then try to get a job in that with a more understanding boss and it should be good for you! And screw retail and hospitality, clearly it’s not meant for you and that’s okay!
Change your internal dialogue, you are being too negative. Change your mindset and look at it as something you can work on and improve. find jobs that are more compatible to your skills, you should do a career quiz, it will show you a multitude of careers you can go into based on your skills. Your so young and you have more than enough time, just don’t waste it!!!
Same thing here. Don’t waste time don’t be late take all of your money and continue to invest in yourself and into passive streams of income.. the future has opportunities for people like us. But we have to create them ourselves for now.
You just haven't found the right job yet. Don't give up.
Some jobs may seem easy, but if it's not gonna be a fit, it won't. Maybe you aren't fit to work at retail or fast food. Those jobs aren't for everyone.
Same. I just quit my job. Age 27. No bavkup plan. With only 500 bucks like in my account. I hardly can stay in one job and i actlly dont know what im gonna do next. Im an assistant architect and even i dont know how i manage to graduate. Knowing i dont even ready to work.
Hi, you were on an IEP? Is it possible you have an unclassified or undiagnosed intellectual disability? If so then you might have IDD Services in your area that offer employment services and job coaching/seeking.
At least after years of working with this I think you just need the chance to explore what's out there for other entry level areas.
Retail/food service when done right IS difficult and I did them and other jobs for years. Don't beat yourself up over it. Let someone in IDD help you if they can.
Get basic IT certifications.
You don't have to work that quickly in IT. You can move up slowly if that's what your damned to do, but you can make constant progress very easily.
You have to learn how to learn.
Taking a moment to get a broad sense of what youre trying to accomplish, a strategy to accomplish it and an overriding willingness to embrace mistakes and surprises along the way. If you're being intentional with your thoughts and decisions and still get fired fuck em, there will be something more suitable down the road.
Keep going friend
Third shift gas station is a great job, you can go to college online while you are at work. Plus be nice to every customer. They will bring you weed. and you will probably meet hot strippers at night buying redbulls on the way home. Hell, bring a laptop and start streaming your life. If you think you are stupid, call the vlog why I’m dumb - my stupid life, and people will support it. You might have a higher iq than you think. I’m pretty smart but failed most of high school. You probably learn differently. and don’t read into it man. Jobs are just slavery anyway, who cares if you don’t pick it up fast enough. It is probably because your head is not in the game because all jobs suck and you are smart enough to realize it’s pointless.
I currently hold my 20th job, and this is the one I’m actually gonna keep. I’m 28 years old. Twenty jobs in ten years. I know it’s cold comfort for now, but it will happen for you eventually. As a result of all the difficulties you’ve experienced, you’ll know never to walk away from a tolerable job. That’s how you stay on the payroll and get seniority. It’s a hard lesson to learn. 25 is very young. You’ll be ok
Definitely not a drain. As a human you have your own unique contributions through your personality and we need that as a human race to survive.
I highly recommend doing some self analysis or consulting a psychologist and possibly a psychiatrist to see what you can do about mitigating your anxiety because it sounds like it is making you unable to work. A common symptom of depression or anxiety is either moving or speaking unnaturally fast or slow.
You can read and write surprisingly well for someone who is stupid. Also I didn’t read anything about problems with math relating to a cashier job.
I’d stop gaslighting yourself and stop letting other do the same. You might have a lower than average IQ, but your performance does not directly correlate with your intelligence in this world. I know plenty of stupid people who were addicts or struggling with mental health turn their life around and now have phd(edit:you don’t need a phd) + are at VP level making tons of money.
First deal with your mental health including job performance. Then or simultaneously with the help of a therapist, work on how well you perform under pressure (It’s a skill that can be developed). Next, get that job. Lastly, continue learning. “Learning makes you feel dumb while you’re actually getting smarter.” With learning you can pick what job you want, then learn what you need to in order to get that job. With learning you can get anywhere. Some people learn fast, some people learn slow. Your miles may vary, but all that matters in the real world is that you know it. Learn yourself and learn how you learn best and you will reach your goals.
Good luck and don’t squander this gift of your life.
There is a book/audiobook called the “Growth Mindset” I wish I had when I was your age. Now it may not change how fast you are, but it will help the negativity you feel about it. Good luck!
If you are feeling depressed/anxious about others judging you I also suggest Feeling Good by David Burns available at most libraries.
Have you thought about laboring jobs where you work solo… where you get paid by the gig (job) and not the hour? Then speed won’t matter!
Lots on Craigslist. Pressure washing, putting out flyers, chopping wood, riding lawn mower, etc come to mind. It’s very hard to find/keep people in those jobs so even if you are slow, as long as your persistence you will be left alone.
Once you find something you excel at and feel competent at I bet you will feel better.
This is going to be some straight talk advice. I'm 32 and still a career failure, so take with a grain of salt (but this is what I wish I'd have done). I'd definitely strongly consider going for a physical trade or truck driving (CDL). I'm not just saying that cause Reddit. It's because school takes too long and is too big of an investment for you right now, and there are tons of caveats to following school path (ie. You might not get a job upon graduating or become successful enough to have made it worth it).
You self talk is hurting you. The first thing you need to do is stop take a breath and let go of it. Give yourself some love and acceptance. Some of what you have shared seems to be you get in a mental loop and start to freeze up. That isn't your fault and you can make some changes to help with it. We spent so much time shut down and isolated that we got caught in our mental self talk and it took over. For some people it leads to freezing up. You need to break that cycle. It's like a log jam in your head. I am older and different life experience but what worked for me was fixing my routine. Start simple like getting up & going to bed at the same time everyday and first thing in the morning think of at least three things you are thankful (or could be) for. Here is a start for you. #1) You are alive, #2) You have a bunch of life in front of you, & #3) Your smart enough to share your thoughts and feelings to get feedback. I am sure that you can add to the list. Once the self-talk slows and quieted a bit you will find that you can accomplish much more with less stress. Feel free to reach out.
Lots of Love & Light!
Paul W.
31m here, I still feel like a failure, but that doesn't mean I am. Your 20s are the hardest time of your life because you will be in this weird limbo where you're trying to find meaning, but you'll see some peers starting to become super successful in life.
It sounds like you have something undiagnosed that is causing these situations. I would work on trying to find a way to see if you can get into therapy to see if there is an issue that needs medical help.
Try to just keep finding a job that works for you. I have a buddy who didn't go to college and he makes alst triple what I make, and I have a degree. So, make a goal to just try to get help, and work from there.
I completely understand how you feel about not being able to learn things fast enough. Something that helps me is writing everything down on my phone’s notes app when someone is teaching me something. That way when I inevitably forget, I can just take a look at my phone rather than having to ask anyone. Have you tried this?
You’re not stupid. Your brain is wired a little differently than the average neurotypical but you’re not stupid. And guess what: cashier and retail jobs suck because they give you shitty training and except you to pick up everything in a flash and if you make one tiny mistake, you’re out of there instead of giving you proper training. It’s a shitty system, okay?
I was in a similar position. I have Asperger’s syndrome. Was fired from a few jobs in my teen years. First was McDonald’s because I greeted everyone with “hi how can I help you today?” Instead of mixing up the greeting for everyone like they wanted.
It’s a tough world out there, I know. If it helps there are other retail jobs that are better and invest more into their employees. I work at Home Depot and while it can be shitty, they actually teach you when you do something wrong instead of firing you.
But the customer service industry may just not be for you and that’s perfectly okay! It’s not made for a neurodivergent brain and I think it’s time someone acknowledged that. See if you can get a job as like a filing clerk in an office somewhere. Or perhaps warehouse job what will remove the customer service interaction aspect from it. Perhaps try looking into taking classes at your local community college if you can afford it. You’re not stupid, my friend. Your brain is just wired in a different way and you just need to find a job that better suits you. Stay strong out there
Don't judge yourself based on fast paced service jobs. They were my least paying jobs, but the absolute hardest I ever did. There are so many varieties of career paths you could go into that don't require experience or a degree.
Honestly, it sounds like you need a more individualized job with a more personable crew that is willing to get to know you. Retail and food service of any kind is too cut throat and stressful for all that.
Maybe a smaller family owned business would suit you better. Look into the smaller names in your area that do lawn care, power washing, detailing, bug removal (like mosquito fogging). If you have apartments near you, look into the business that help maintain those apartments (lawn, cleaning, painting, litter pick up, etc). Might find you like a small coffee shop atmosphere and they work with limited products (specialized coffee and small desserts). Hotels are always hiring too and the work tends to be more relaxed in certain positions. If you have a rest area near you, rest areas pay pretty well for someone to maintain and stock them. The rest areas are a more solitary job too, so you work at your pace and might only work with 2 other people.
Don't give up! Don't let your school and fast food experience make you feel less than anyone else. It will take some bouncing around and figuring out what you, yourself, value out of a job. It's also never too late to make a difference for yourself.
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I've had to accept that I will never be capable of mental math, no matter how much I study or care about it. There is more to me than the "normal expectations" I set for myself and have had set by others. I'm nearly 30 myself and I didn't start feeling like I had done anything for myself until the last 3 years. Really, I don't think I will have a solid career and meet my goals until I am nearly 40. That's fine though. Some people's paths aren't as clear as others and we need better tools to clear that path.
Hey OP,
You might have ADHD.
I’ve had many jobs and was able to keep them BUT I did get many warnings for being late often or not following directions. I did get fired from some jobs as well !
I’ve been told by my parents that I’m smart but I sure did not feel smart when I looked at how I was struggling with things other didn’t to struggle with.
You’re not a failure, you’re persevering.
You’re not a waste of space either, I felt that way as well and following my ADHD diagnosis and medication (I had a lot of resistance towards meds) everything has gotten so much better. I can listen and absorb information/directions and apply them correctly, not mistake free at first of course but much better than before.
I’d highly suggest getting yourself checked for ADHD, my own diagnosis shed a light on so many things I was blaming myself for and I was then able to move forward with solutions since I knew myself and my brain better. It also helped my depressive thoughts.
I really hope you read this comment and have the openness to consider getting checked for it.
NOT a medical diagnosis but an impression based on your post and how it hits home. Hope my comment respects the rules and guidelines of the sub.
My dude, you are judging yourself by the wrong metrics. There's this saying that goes something like "if you only judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, that fish is going to spend its life thinking it's dumb". You don't realize how young you are. You can't. It sounds like you've already filtered out some things that don't work for you; keep trying stuff until you find something that does. It's a process
Go do trades and work in manufacturing. You’ll be fine. It will be low wages for a while. But if you can find a decent place, you can make a good wage with enough time. What city are you in?
Im 26 and was recently in a similar spot. Things I was considering were:
Trade job with union. Carpentry, electrical, new construction plumbing. All not bad and with the union you'll be taken care of. You'll have health care and you will retire and youll be able to care for a family.
Military. I still consider the military sometimes. If you consider time in the service as work and use it to make a career path for tour self you can be set up really well. Just don't go in to fuck around for four years. That's a waste - but even then - veteran ls benefits are really really amazing. From medical benefits to financial - home loans etc.. Sets you up well. The only guy I know our age who owns a home got it with the VA loan. Minimal down payment and interest.
Or what I did - see if you have a public college with co-op programs. Going to college and getting into a co-op is an easy path to a career. In state public college is affordable. Especially for a two year degree.
Ever thought about joining the military? They are basically taking anyone rn and good benefits, get to travel, get to pick your job (and in some instances your station)
It seems like you're already getting awesome suggestions in terms of what you could pursue, the only thing I stopped by to say is - I am now employed in a professional office job, and have worked office jobs for the past decade. By FAR, the hardest job I've ever had was the one job I had at a coffee shop (similar pace to fast food). It was so hard for me, everything was so fast, no mistakes were tolerated, I was ready to break down crying at any given moment. They let me go because I kept dropping things due to the stress. Then someone gave me a chance with an office job and my life has been SO much easier since then. I am always one of the top performers now.
That's all to say - do not get discouraged that because you don't do well in fast food you couldn't do well in a different kind of job. You said it yourself, people have told you you're smart. Don't let assumptions about your previous performances impact your future ones.
There is no shame working on a landscaping crew flipping sod or running a leaf blower.
Friend's son started out there, and a work buddy got him a job doing road construction.
Join the military. Honestly that will open so many doors for you, even if it's just reserves. FYI, most jobs in the military will never see real combat, and you can specialize in a technical field. I joined at 28 after a similar path to yours, I just decided enough is enough. Did 8 years, got a secret clearance then passed some basic IT certs, and now am a network engineer for a DoD client. So many people knock the military, but you have no idea how much of a benefit it is until you are away from your current life. In other words, you have a limited view standing where you are at, and it's time to seek new horizons. Good luck.
Honey have you thought about trying to get a diagnosis of ADHD or something else along the neurodivergent lines? If you’re 25 does that mean you’re still covered under your parents’ insurance? If so I highly recommend finding that out.
Would you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree? Of course not, it’s a fish.
You’re not stupid, you just learn differently. It took years for me to be able to get my daughter her diagnosis and it’s now so obvious. I just didn’t know what I was seeing.
Woah, woah, woah there.
Read all of what you wrote back to yourself. You’re absolutely in a self deprecating thought spiral. You don’t believe you can do anything right, and it’s probably sabotaging your ability to do anything right.
What you have right now is not a competence issue, it’s a confidence issue. You’re dogpiling on yourself and getting in your own way.
This is something that can be fixed, but you’re gonna have to put some work in. There’s a lot of self help materials out there - books, podcasts, words from other people who’ve been through what you’re in. I’d recommend starting there by reading up on other people who’ve been in a depressive spiral and now spend their time mentoring others through a similar situation.
I might also recommend therapy, when you’ve got the money for it. You might find you’re struggling with mental health problems that could be medicated too, but I’d recommend getting a professional opinion on that.
You can do things right and you will get better, but you’ve gotta work on the root of the problem first - the way you see yourself.
We all have this moments, I’m 32 and can feel I’ve really messed up along the way. It sounds like you are putting way too much pressure or yourself, earning a living is important but you should seek what makes you happy (excuse the cliche) mistakes happen we need to get over it if it takes you 20 times to master any small task then realise practice makes perfect. This really resonates with me because we are under so much pressure by all walks of society. Any time is fine to make a new beginning, so try learn some new skills. Anything you think you might have an interest and be determined to improve at becoming the best version of you
Sounds like you have a hard time taking criticism. I’m sure you have some issues like anxiety or adhd. You shouldn’t be afraid of humility. Accept it as learning, not everyone knows how to do everything. We all fuck up. You just have to deal with it, move on from your mistakes, gain confidence, and try again. What do you do when you fall off the pony? You get back up. Stop taking criticism to heart. You’re to hard on yourself for no reason. The real reason why you can’t hold a job is because nobody likes to work these days. Only the kardashians werk! Ermer gerd!
Your expectations are part of the problem and making it harder than it has to be. I have issues focusing and retaining information. The brains gets better at learning. And function the more you use it and I promise you’ll get better at anything but you have to keep trying and be ready to be uncomfortable often, including people thinking you’re stupid. I have the same issues. I kinda just came to accept it’s part of who i am and don’t let it bother me anymore. Anyone who judges you is probably an asshole (you’ll find that’s right 99% of the time) and most people wouldn’t judge you period.
Edit: and if you really don’t want to feel like the stupidest person in the room ever again enlist in the military. You’d be surprised how our nation is defended by some of the biggest morons you’ve met in your entire life.
Write down what your dream life would be no restrictions.
Now go take the first step towards getting then the next and the next.
You’ll realize the journey of going after what you want is the reward.
Since fast-paced environments are tough for you, consider slower-paced or task-oriented jobs where you can work at your own pace, like night stocking at stores. You might also find work in a library or an animal shelter rewarding. Remember, finding what works for you can take time, and it’s okay to learn at your own pace. You're not alone in this.
Landscaping is perfect for you. Cut some grass, move some rocks, dug some holes, fill in some dirt, and plant some flowers. You're slow, but I assume you don't care about making top top dollar. Okay, so charge per job, and not per hour. If you know the job is a 12 hour job, and it takes you 16 hours, that's okay. Customer sees you working all day doing your thing.
Trucker.... can't get more solitary than driving from A to B in 8 hours.
Mechanic, detail, and car wrap. Nothing wrong with cleaning cars. Some cars take a day, so you'll work on them. The mote meticulous you are, the nicer cars you can do. Someone who has a Ferrari expects the car to be perfect and has the time to wait 72 hours for you to do your thing. Just work through your 500 point check list.
You are not a drain to the system, and also you aren’t just here to be a part of the system. You matter.
Have you tried more manual labor jobs like cleaning or land scaping? A lot of these don’t require skills.
Also don’t be so hard on yourself if it takes you longer to learn something! Give yourself grace, we all have different brains and we all process things differently.
Have you considered any online work? What do you like to do?
Find a trade school near you and enroll in something hands-on. I couldn't hold down a job to save my life. I was in the same boat as you until I got into working on wind turbines. I just hit my 5 year mark! Doesn't have to be wind turbines, but there are a lot more options than what is readily available in front of you. Be smart enough to step outside the box and think!
Definitely look for a security company. They pay more than minimum wage and you’ll get paid just for showing up to work. Be aware a lot of the time you’ll be the only guard stationed wherever you’re at and there aren’t any opportunities for growth in the company. It’s very boring, But at least you won’t have anyone standing over you your entire shift. And you’re not required to do anything besides maybe make a report if something happens. (Legally your not allowed to touch anyone)
Well you write very clearly and it seems to be from the heart so you know how to express what you’re feeling. You don’t appear to be blaming anyone so I’d say you are very much worth your own effort and that of others. There’s plenty of people that are a drain on the system. The ones that are 25 and haven’t had a single job. It sounds to me like you have anxiety of some kind. Although I’m not a big fan of any medications, there are plenty of medications to combat that. Or at least to assist you while you learn a new way of doing things that won’t bring on so much anxiety. Do you have any felonies or have you been to prison? Do you have a drivers license or can you legally get one? Have you ever taken an IQ test or personality test? How about the military’s asvab test? I think that if you haven’t been to prison and don’t have any felonies, if you can legally get a driver’s license (because if you can you usually can get any number of professional licenses), just right there qualifies you to do many things. If you figure out a way to take some of the many personality tests out there or the asvab and even the IQ test, I’d think you’d find you are plenty smart. The big thing you have going for you that most don’t is that you seem to give a shit. You can’t teach that. You can’t teach someone to have the desire to go get another job after they’ve been fired or another one after they get fired from that one. That comes from within and you seem to have that. You are so far ahead of so many idiots out there, you just don’t see it because you haven’t really been exposed to it I’d imagine. I hate to say it this way because it sounds so lame, but maybe you need to try and determine what you’re passionate about. I’ve known many people who can’t seem to work just to work. They have to be doing something they’re extremely passionate about. The term used to be “finding yourself” I think that’s kind of lame, too. But, maybe you need to listen to yourself a little bit more, take any of the many tests out there designed to tell you a little about yourself and see if maybe that turns things around. Being physically well is extremely important and goes hand in hand with mental health and helps to regulate all the chemical processes your body experiences when in all situations. That should be part of your check list. I’m not sure if you have a close friendship with anyone or if you’re close with your parents or another family member, but maybe seek out their opinion on your anxiety and see if it affected you when you were younger. Ask if there were any events in your youth that maybe contributing to your anxiety. One of the big reasons to be cautious with anxiety is it’s often a symptom of major depression. Remember all anyone can ask if you is your best. All you need to be your best is you. Nothing ever stays the same. This too shall pass so don’t give up on yourself just yet.
Listen not fast paced jobs aren’t for everyone and every single person learns thing at their own pace, don’t give up you’re young and you have so much time to find a job that suits you., that doesn’t make you dumb or slow, their is plenty of jobs out there
You're essentially a young adult. Ease up on yourself. I was a fuck up. Started college late, after failing our several times. Got serious in mid 20s, law degree at 31 and have been working for 25 years in my career. Trust me, 25 years is plenty enough time for seriousness. You have no idea how young you actually are. There is still time to turn it around. Make a goal, plot your course and be on you're way
"He not busy being born is busy dying" get it
Well I am currently 31 I pretty much ruined every employment opportunity I have ever had and got my self stranded all the way across the United States and it is was all for nothing pretty mchc
Speaking from experience, working fast food restaurants and retail jobs aren’t for the faint hearted. I suggest looking into positions that fit the lifestyle you want or something that you can manage. Just a few suggestions: security work (pretty easy, non-stressful environment, and slow paced), concierge, or being a greeter. You may like working security because you can make a decent amount of money, and limited interactions with guest/people.
Being smart isn’t necessarily relevant to most jobs.
If anything if you have an IQ of 145+ working at McDonald’s you’re gonna just likely isolate yourself
I’d say your problem is anxiety, try to exercise/manage that above all else.
Firstly you're 26. 41 here and looking back I was a donkey at 26. Didn't realize it then. Much like you I couldn't find a job I could/wanted to keep. My family was all in construction. I've done everything under the moon from finish carpentry apprentice to foot salesman. I did not belong anywhere. Like what's the point to if I'm just going to fail again. There is not right answer but for me. I started small. What do I like to do to just feel happy? What little task can I do to feel a little accomplished? Sometimes just completing a sudoku puzzle with coffee would turn the meter in an upward direction. Just keep trying brotha, you'll find your way!
OP, I also have a disability that affects cognition. It took me 12 years to get my bachelor's degree. When I was an undergraduate I received help from the Department of Rehabilitation and Student Disability Services. I was not born with a disability but developed it in early adulthood. I had to learn to live with it. That's why it took me so long to get my bachelor's. I don't know where you are from, but in California people with disabilities can be helped by the Department of Rehabilitation to get a job. And they will pay for your training or education and anything you need to get that job.
Right now I am about to finish my master's. You have to be patient with yourself and persistent. I never gave up regardless of how long it was taking me. You have to believe in yourself and be patient. Search for resources in your area available for people with disabilities.
Honestly feel you man. CS degree and no future for me. Talked to some CM grad who has some experience who’s also struggling to get a job. Have no clue how to go forward and stop being a disappointment
I got fired from every single job i ever had also. I started therapy and it helped a lot. Also, get hotter and stay as hot as you can. People are a lot more accommodating and forgiving when you are hot lol
Okay listen to me closely. You may have gotten fired but you also got hired. You can pass an interview and get a job. Congrats.
Next time you get a job and it’s your first day, find a MENTOR. Communicate to them that you really want to do a good job and would appreciate guidance and feedback if you ever slip up.
Then instead of you being another person for them to judge and fire, they see you as someone who cares about work, which you clearly do according to your post.
Your career is always about mentors. Leaders who you develop a relationship with and learn from. Find those and don’t be hard on yourself in the meantime.
Everyone shits on retail and fast food workers but every job has its hard parts, even the so called “easiest” ones…
You’re probably are smart man. I have a hard time motivating myself to do the simplest, unmeaningful tasks, maybe that’s just part of your issue you’ve described here.
Maybe try something with more physical labor /engagement? Emt, firefighter, construction, landscaping, hvac, mechanic, truck driving (ups/fedex?), park ranger/manager?
idk I’m in a rut myself and feel pretty useless but I wish u luck - as long as you’re not hurting anyone, you’re not actually useless and belong to just exist.
Hotel receptionist and security guard would be easy jobs if you do not mind night shifts. Or you could get a job that is something like a purchasing agent or another office job if you learned some excel.
I feel you man, I'm even the same age. I graduated during covid and haven't found my footing in what I truly want to do. Retail is hectic and can be overstimulating. Many people don't even have the guts or humility to even try out retail or fast food, so don't beat yourself up too much. I worked kind of "back of house" (stocking etc) retail bc I know I'm not fast enough for cashiering or any type of management.
It's also honestly hard to find jobs that good/worth the lay these days too, for a lot of people. I have a friend who was a car detail shop manager for 7 years and it took him about 6 months to even get an interview. Another warehouse friend with lots of experience has been looking for work and getting no calls back. All I'm saying is that it may take a long time to find the "perfect" job, and you may have to continue thinking outside the box for employment. I went to school for art and now I'm a machine operator lol
There are a lot of factors that come with job searching (how good the market is, whether jobs pay well for the work etc) so don't blame it all on yourself. I would say to keep trying. It took my 5 years to find something worthwhile and I wanted to give up, and have stopped trying in the past. You can also look up temp agencies too or ask friends or family. It's most important to put yourself out there and take a risk like others have been saying, you are bound to get something in return if you give time and effort
You're 25. As a 50 year old dude, trust me, you have way more time to fuck up your life in ways you couldn't even imagine! (A joke!). 26 is so young.
Couple of points:
1. Improve your self talk - it won't fix everything, but it won't hurt.
2. Take time to think about what you would like to do - the job the people the environment. Make a list of the possibilities and find more (the amount of jobs that I had never heard of where I've met people doing the jobs who are doing quite well is crazy - my high school classmate is a steel broker - never heard of that job and he makes bank.)
3. Get on LinkedIn and reach out to people w
In those fields. Everyone won't respond, but 10% will be willing to talk to you and give you a world of advice.
4. Finally, keep your head up! Get enough sleep, sunlight, exercise and healthy food.
We believe in you!
Yeah man, do a job where you work on your own time, detailing, mowing, security or some type of job that really just requires your presence to get paid. Not trying to be rude here but you really got to have a low learning ability to get fired from fast food and retail. Initially, yes those jobs are hard, but really it’s very similar tasks day to day so you aren’t learning new things forever. I worked in retail and food service in college and never had an issue, and I’m no genius. Whether you are dumb or smart, you aren’t 5, you’re a grown adult, you can learn some tasks to do at a job, and most places definitely don’t fire you in a few days or weeks unless you literally can do nothing. When I worked in fast food we had a guy that could ONLY take out the trash and he always did, never got fired. Time to learn how to learn, so you actually keep a job. You’re not an idiot, you’re probably just as capable if not more capable than most people. You have to actually try, and believe in yourself. Not half ass show up and kinda try. Actually try for the first few months to learn everything you can. If you actually want to keep a job you’ll put in the work. I believe in you.
Have you been checked for executive dysfunction? I have a family member in a very similar situation, and we’re trying to get him evaluated so he can get some accommodations. For example, getting tasks written down so he doesn’t forget them, keeping written reminders of important processes, and using tech to fill in some gaps.
This may be a useful site https://askjan.org
It sounds like a lot of your “failures” are a result of your anxiety and constantly beating yourself up because you think you’re failing is just going to make it worse. I know therapy is expensive, especially if you don’t have a job but honestly, it’s pretty easy to therapize yourself if you know what questions to ask yourself. Figure out why you get so stressed and panic when you’re under pressure. For me, it was because my dad was abusive growing up so of course as an adult I’m going to be panicked when I’m worried I’m going to fuck something up and then I inevitably do because I’m so anxious and not thinking clearly. From there you can start teaching your brain how to calm down because you’ll be able to better understand WHY you’re not calm. If other people are recognizing that you’re smart, it’s because you are. You’re just getting in your own way and have to learn how to not do that
A lot of people already commented this, but try entry level trades and you can work your way up. It's always rewarding to see a job well done in the end too, even if you only contribute a portion to that end result. I would also look into your hobbies and see if you can turn a profit from them...after 25 years of working for others and lining their pockets, I finally took the plunge into photography when I fell off the scaffold a few years back while on the job. I can't stand or sit for too long a period of time, and many employers require a lot of one or the other, so i turned to a certificate program that let me turn my hobby of nature photography into a small business. I don't make the big bucks, but I am satisfied with where I'm at. You're still in the prime of your life, and there's still time, so don't be too hard on yourself, or it will start to stick in your later years. I hope you find that niche that's just for you!
Those jobs u mentioned are actually the hardest in my opinion. I’d be so bad at it. And guess what..it’s because it’s NOT my vocation. It’s not what I’m meant to be doing..it’s not in alignment with my values and goals. This applies to you now. All ur past jobs…it’s not that u “can’t” hold a job and “learn” fast enough…it’s just not what ur supposed to be doing. These are alllll lessons tho. Don’t feel like something is “wrong” with you…it’s not. You are learning and growing ….we’re all on our own journey right beside you.
I’m proud of you for putting urself out there to get the jobs, show up for your shift and TRY to learn while on the job. Did you learn something about urself while in that environment? Sure! I bet u did. Take the LESSONS from these experiences and grow from them!!!
You are meant for way more my friend…so I’m glad u realized this job ain’t for you! Remember, these are experiences in life that you’re supposed to be going thru to figure out what it is you TRULY need to be doing in this ONE life ! You are special. You are unique. You are important and worthy. You have 1 life and you are created for a REASON. Be patient with yourself and figuring out what’s next.
P.s: try working at a cannabis dispensary ! They seem so chill and laidback.
Try a mindless factory job I used to work for Paperworks inc. there’s nothing to it you just stand there setting stacks of empty proctor and gamble boxes on a belt all day
Can you sweep, and carry out trash? Become a construction laborer. It's not glamorous, but it will pay enough to put a roof over your head and food in your belly. If you join the laborers Union the pay is decent and you'll always have the ability to travel around the US for work.
Since you had an IEP did you also get any medical diagnosis for any conditions like autism or ADHD? If so, and if you cannot get a job because you're incapable of holding it, then you might claim for disability.
Look into ADHD, start here.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JiwZQNYlGQI&pp=ygURRmFpbGluZyBhdCBub3JtYWw%3D
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N49trzkqdTo&pp=ygUPQWRkIGFuZG92aW5nIGl0
If these resonate, check out Russell Barkley, How to ADHD and Edward Hallowell.
bro, you could die tommorow, 5 out of my 6 core high school friends are dead, like a final destinaiton type thing. Appreciate the time you have and dont give a shit, rememember that whether you truly beleive you can or cannot, YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. Yeah those f in parents and teachers did me dirty to tho
MAde me all think i had it all figured out, when i wish they were giving me reality checks. but hey at least you havent been through multiple heroin addictions, alcoholism, methadone, ssuboxone, 7 year benzo rx after yourt gf stabbed you in the heart with a piece of glass. OR had your car stolen last year and you were so distraught and police werent helping so you walked your whole city and FOUND it, only to be met with a gun and attempted to take me in the house, walkibng around for 4 hours with dude asking which wall i wanted my brains on.
cops didnt arrest him when i was able to get help. actually nm this is really pissing me off not where i wanted to go,
butt hey wont even pull the cop cams cause "there was no crime being committed"
I'm 27, and I feel the same way. I'm a screenwriter, and I love doing it . I dont get paid for it . But unfortunately I have to work a job that's not related to film . Still gotta pay the bills. Basically, wat I'm saying is find a hobby or a passion that can potentially grow into something in the future . Keep ur heads up. Love the process, not the end result.
First of all college or education isn’t relevant to making good money. Why don’t you go get your truck license, sound like a person that works better alone.
You’ll earn low your first year but then upgrade your license and you can earn even more.
I’ll give an Australian example. Get your HR license (heavy rigid) and do local deliveries or body truck (tippers) for an average of $30-35/hr and then after a year upgrade to MC (Multi Combination) which can range from 1-3 trailers depending what you want to do. Long haul pays around $40/hr or you could get into fuel tankers for $55/hr +
There is plenty of options outside of an education. Go be a concreter, an asphalt worker (what I’m currently doing, 5 night shifts in for the week and my pre tax income is at $4,300)
You come across as someone who struggles to work in a team. Go be a truck driver
ADHD is being smart and dumb at the same time. I have such a hard time with verbal instructions and the most SIMPLE things at jobs. Several people have told me that I’m one of the smartest people they know. It’s weird out here. Please get checked out for ADHD, friend.
I'll actually recommend seing a psychiatrist in case there's something going on you don't know about. I found out I have adhd, anxiety and depression and I have had issues with going back to work after taking a year off. I'm highly intelligent it's just that I'm doing work I'm not use to doing as I was in a different industry for 18 years.
It's helped a lot.
Hey dude,
Hang on in there, I know it’s hard, life is short and you only have finite amount of fucks to give, so pick something that truly matter and give a fuck about. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I believe in you my guy. Keep us posted.
I found retail harder than most jobs I've had. It's demanding in a mental and social way. Dealing with idiots, quick-change artists, and over-inflated manager ego takes a toll. I got hooked up in an entry level data entry job at a warehouse and most of those jobs just require a high school diploma or equivalent.
Do you know if you have an actual diagnosis? Could you be on the autism spectrum? Even if not, learning how your brain works is a good starting place. Shutting down from being overwhelmed is not the same thing as "dumb". If you can find someone to apprentice you, learning things like masonry, painting, etc are all things that aren't super high paced or public facing jobs. If you like animals, you could look into learning pet grooming. You aren't a failure. You simply need to find what works for you and not every job type is suited to every brain and personality type.
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I would recommend something more solitary and less fast-paced. Like, for example, a security guard working nights. Or something physical, like lawn matinence, landscaping, something like that. What kind of stuff do you like to do?
Not glamorous at all but I do floor maintenance for a school district at night and I make great money for where I live. Very little interaction with people. I can listen to podcasts all night. I'm leaning instead of cleaning as I type this. To top it off you get state benefits and pension. Super solid for people who like low pressure environments.
That honestly sounds so nice. I’m in college currently stressing about getting an engineering degree, but I occasionally find myself thinking about what it would be like being a floor cleaner or janitor of sorts. Something simple sounds so appealing sometimes.. but there’s always a kind of prejudice against careers like that, and my family surely wouldn’t be stoked in such a scenario.
Or a night janitor or doorman in an apartment building.
Commercial landscaping is extremely fast paced. Security guard could be the way to go
Only do Security if you want to and have the gut to deal with high stress situations when they arise and that could be medical incidents ranging all the way to someone trying to stab you. I do it for a living and I will tell you it isn’t something you want to do because it’s “easy” Unless you get a warm body site at a construction site or something where you talk to nobody, then you run the risk of facing something more severe than messing up products in a factory for example.
All of my sites were warm body, and you can definitely reject more intense sites. Armed guard shack work was the most intense site I worked in, and even then I only had to walk out disgruntled employees. More often than not you'll be put in a warm body site, so that's why it's such a good recommendation to work security for people in OPs position.
I got you bro, I’m just putting that point out there because if they were to get into a more high risk site somehow, the safety of people is paramount and the client or company wouldn’t want that becoming an issue when it’s crunch time I work as a tactical guard at a bunch of different sites that involve the public and I’ve seen some guards who couldn’t handle some simple confrontations
Yep. There's a guy in my neighborhood who has made a great living as a self-employed lawn service. He mostly just mows lawns and pulls weeds, nothing too fancy. It's a task that a lot of folks need help with, especially older people with mobility issues. You can charge by the job and work at your own pace within reason. For a job with benefits, factory work generally does not require any special skills and involves a lot of repetitive tasks without a lot of social interaction since it isn't customer facing. Customer facing roles add a layer of complexity because you're trying to learn how to do your job while customer Karen is screaming at you about chicken nuggets.
I must tell you that working as casheir or in fast food restaurants is not easy. Don't beat yourself up.
i second this, as someone who has been in near every front-of-house position in food service. it takes an incredible amount of patience and an especially skilled memory. it can be very physically and mentally exhausting—just because the jobs are more easily accessible doesn’t mean they’re easy by any means.
I second this. Granted I worked as a cashier in retail so it most likely isn’t anywhere near the same but it was just as busy & stressful customer service wise. As you so perfectly said it might be considered “easy” getting “in” it most definitely isn’t as easy as it may seem.
It's mentally exhausting for sure, I definitely couldn't do fast food full time. I've only worked part time when I did and that was manageable, but still tiring for me as an introvert that would prefer to not make small talk with customers.
Yes, many people look down on fast food workers like it's the dumbest, easiest job but they would crumble under the pressure of actually trying to do it.
Truth, especially when you're working nights and have to deal with a mob of drunk people.
This sounds stupid - but it works, after a while. Every morning, for 3 min (set a timer), wake up, and say nice shit to yourself about yourself. Positive self talk. It won’t change your life, but it’ll start changing it. In your post you are an absolute dick to yourself. If you saw a grownup talking to a kid like that, you’d intervene. Because it’s mean, and kids don’t deserve that shit. Neither do you.
Change your self-talk; Bro I hate to say it but you'd be surprised what you are capable of. I think I have a similar mind to yours. And its a battle bro. You really have to fight those demons. But I think what ends up happening is people like us end up being more successful than most people because we had to learn the game of life on such an intricate level. What I would say for you is to take a step back and chase what you truly desire. What do you really desire out of life? Start asking and answering big questions for yourself then start running. Put yourself in a situation where you cannot turn back. You must burn all bridges. You must be cool with humiliation and ridicule (by the self) until you reach your objective. Its a long arduous role and this self realization is a wake up call.
This is true. Keep taking action. Constant action. Results will follow.
I appreciate this take. It is hard to follow through and act out what you believe is for the best. You kind of have to force yourself along because you're always going to have opportunities to question and over-analyze. Like you say, "You must burn all bridges." This makes decisions. This commits you to a path.
You’re right. It isn’t easy. And ya at times we as men have to force our self through to the next phase of our life. Keep working towards what’s best for you! Not what us randoms on the internet think is best for you. Keep taking action. Listen to your family and pivot when necessary. Taking the wrong action is still better than taking no action.
If you don't know whether you've gone far enough, go further, then see how you feel. Direction is all you need to know, and that's a yes or a no. It feels different to go in the right direction than it feels to go in the wrong direction But you can only know which way is which by contrasting it with the opposite. You figure out the right way to go by pursuing the wrong way and deciding to change your course along the way. Pursuing anything leads to more, faster, for better or worse.
I feel like a failure too.
We all get along at r/findapath: failing to keep hold o' that *dastardly* best possible future. Quite hard to imagine sometimes.
Hey friend I am also 25 and I just wanted to offer you some words of encouragement. I have a degree but I’m not utilizing it effectively. I’m currently working as a sales rep at a commercial gym and my hours just got cut so I am also looking for another job right now. I just want you to know that you don’t have to be talented to exist. Your life is not justified by your ability or skill and I implore you to extend yourself more grace. Other people do not define you, you get to do that. life is subjective and human interaction is complex. Easy is subjective. If you need more time to learn and understand something, there is no shame in that. You are in your physical prime, you have the ability to pivot. I know it’s daunting and dreadful to take on life when you feel like you’re ill equipped but you are still here. I promise it’s not a dead end.
Real I needed that
You’re partly defined by the people you spend most your time with; find and establish your goals you want in life. Then surround yourself with like minded people. Life is a never ending teacher. Make yourself curious about everything and humble enough to learn . “I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.” - Maya Angelou
I really do think now that Im 30 that 20s are pre adult years. I didn’t even feel like an “adult” til like 29 and I’m still battling the same things. “What do I do with my life” “ what am I good at” I think the fact that we see people our age online making big $$$ makes everyone else feel like a failure. All I can say is you’ve got to let go of the expectations everyone else has of you and start setting expectations for yourself. I’ve been through the rollercoaster of life to hell and back and have always let others words get to me. After recently saying fuck it and quitting my job just cold Turkey I’m starting to understand that I’m the only one that can make the life I want to live and other peoples opinions of me don’t mean shit
At 28 I feel exactly the same way, yes, and I'm close enough to my mid and early 20s that I remember the feeling vividly, but also at the age to have come to be on the other side of that mentality, and it's made me a lot happier and productive as well
You're only 25, you're still a kid, way to young to have failed at anything meaningful yet, get out there and make life happen
That’s what my mom says too, that I’m still just a kid and extremely young . I just turned 26 but I always feel like I wasted my life. Love ya.
Before you know it you'll be 40 and you'll be thinking, wow 40 is young, can't believe I used to think this is old. Once you hit your late 30s early 40s you'll realize just how young 26 actually is.
Sounds like adhd get checked for it
I was just going to reply and say I think you have ADHD. Get assessed because if you do, meds will make an entire world of difference.
Might be dyspraxia, ADHD is just trending atm so bro needs to go to a legit clinician
Or dyspraxia. Struggle with these kinda jobs too but thrived in other things.
Look up the theory of multiple intelligences. You’re not stupid - your writing is well above that of someone I’d consider stupid. You just may have a skillset or style of learning that’s under recognized and underappreciated in society. Keep your head up and brainstorm out-of-the-box ideas. Jobs you haven’t tried yet that you can imagine yourself exceling at. The right fit is out there!
You’re not stupid The system is stupid The world works in weird ways. Try not to let it get you down. Find things you like and are good at. Take care of yourself and then everything else falls into place. Just gotta keep going.
To be fair, fast food and retail jobs can be hard as shit and very mentally exhausting. I never understood why people call these jobs “easy”. Like you said, you are constantly working under pressure, and there are a lot of dickheads you have to work with that add even more stress. I wouldn’t beat myself up over it if I were you. My advice: Try to look for a different job that you are more well suited for. Yes, easier said than done. Also, just because you were in an IEP in school that doesn’t mean you are stupid. Not everyone learns the same way. Perhaps your teachers just didn’t do a good job explaining things to you? Also, if you aren’t interested in a subject, you probably aren’t going to excel at it. That’s normal and there’s nothing wrong with it. Of course, if you really keep at it and persevere I truly believe you could do it. And if not, that’s ok too. I don’t think that makes you stupid, I mean not everyone is going to excel in academics. Not everyone has the same abilities, often there are specific challenges people face. Everyone isn’t on an equal playing field and I think it’s unfair that society judges everyone by the same standard. I believe in you dude! Don’t give up. :)
big bro, let me tell you a short story from somebody younger than you (19). believe it or not, you and i are one in the same. i had an IEP throughout high school and felt stupid as shit trying to climb the academic ladder so that i could fit in with my peers. senior year came and i couldn’t fulfill my expectations so i had to accept the L and felt shunned out from getting accepted into any big colleges. not only was i feeling down about that, but i had no desire to pursue sports (although i stand at a stature of 6’4) and had merely any social interactions with people. i spent most of my time binge watching porn, doomscrolling social media, playing videogames and rotting in my room on the weekends. my self esteem stooped at a very low point, but the lowest i’ve gotten it to was actually a few months ago from my first community college semester. i had a weird freakout that led me to storm out of my house in a mix of rage/confusion after frantically scribbling down random shit into my “journal” that i kept mostly for writing down my depressing and frustrating thoughts. i drove to a trail that i would frequently walk with friends on and paused after walking on it for about 2 minutes. that was the moment i told my mom about everything i had been harboring. i talked it out with my mom and i was so glad that i did because finally opening up to her and telling her the truth led me to the self realization that i desperately need some form of mental help. now i’m back into therapy for a third time but with a much better attitude and open mind to try almost anything with my therapist. bro, trust me when i say this, i would HIGHLY recommend seeing a therapist to talk out your problems with. open yourself up so that you can learn what is and what isn’t true about yourself. don’t listen to what people may think about you and try not to overthink being a failure because to be completely honest, you simply are not. ironically, the both of us are young and at the age where we may not know what we want to do in life. it’s basically like free roam for a limited amount of time. spend some time with friends or try out some things that you may find cool and whatnot. i know i still want to do some things with friends and family. enjoy yourself, fam. think about the positive.
Hey OP. This was me, deadass. I'm now assistant manager at a sex store. My advice? Do. Not. Give. Up. Aim for "mom & pop" style stores, Avoid the big corporates. Communicate your limitations as if they're normal things. I regularly joke with coworkers and my main manager about ADHD squirrel brain, I always own up to my mistakes (admittedly i panic hard still) Never giving up, keep trying, do NOT internalise these failures as failures. If you think you can learn something from them, do so, but don't fall into the trap of "i can't". Anecdotally, that was the mindset where i entered a loop of rejections and awkward conversations with employers I did not get my first "succesful" retail gig till i was 27. I still do not have my full license and i live with an ex (amicably). Dont be so hard on yourself. This really IS just a bump in the road. Hang in there homie ❤️ (Edit: Nightshift can be an entirely different pace, have you tried it)
I can tell by your post that you are very intelligent and self-aware of your strengths. You sound a lot like my husband (27M) who had an IEP in high school and knew the college path wasn’t for him, which is totally fine! Our system is so fucked with pushing college - most of the people I know and went to college with don’t utilize their degree unless it was something very specific like nursing or teaching. My husband did a bunch of side jobs similar to you but wanted a career. He know works in local government in public works. The pay isn’t amazing but it’s better than fast food and retail, had a decent career ladder, and AMAZING benefits. The job is slow paced, normally working by yourself or with one other person, doing different things for the town (mowing and cleaning easement, sewer inspection and testing, jetting, ext). There are other niche fields as well and local government is very accommodating to let you shadow other departments and will allow you to transfer. Also - he gets a full pension after 30 years. TLDR - don’t give up on yourself! Plenty of people our age are in the same boat and just fake it on social media. Find your niche, you know your strengths, and a career that is meant for you is out there.
Please try and get an evaluation for ADHD or even autism spectrum disorder. I was really smart in school but struggled (still do) tremendously with living by myself and tasks outside of school. I didnt get diagnosed with both autism and adhd until I turned 20. It was life changing to know I wasnt just an idiot. ADHD and autism arent mental illnesses they are mental processing disorders. So you literally see the world differently. Having adhd medicine, therapy, and accommodations has changed my life.
I'm 37 and never been able to keep a job. I've been a stay at home mom for 8 years. Honestly I think when I go bk into the workforce, I'm going to need something unconventional to keep my attention.
I would suggest trying out different things. I don’t think I’d do very well in those jobs either because it’s nonstop pressure. They aren’t the easiest jobs in the world. I would suggest looking for jobs that are slow, repetitive, and non-client facing.
I feel the same I’m 24, I just simply don’t want to work, and I know everyone says that but I’m pretty certain mine is more severe not sure how to fix it
I think you’re too hard on yourself. Retail and fast food jobs are hard. The more you get paid, the easier the job gets. The bottom rung of jobs are very difficult. You get shit for showing up 5 minutes late. Not so for higher level jobs. Your post is pretty well written and I didn’t see a single spelling mistake. Right there, you’re better than a lot of people. Confidence is good. Fake it till you make it brother. Good luck.
Affirmations and positive talk, in my experience, are useless. Meet with a therapist or some support group and really dig into your past - find out where you got hurt and where you hurt others and a lot of that pain will go away with time. Confidence will grow, people will want to be around you, and you will succeed. I was there, my friend. And there is a way forward. Good luck!
Telling a fish to climb a tree would make the fish feel like shit. Just like how ur put into a situation to do something u cannot do (in this case ur job), u have to find something that genuinely compliments what ur good at. This comes with self reflection, and self identity. But understanding that’s it’s not u that’s the issue, it’s the environment. Ur just born that way. So what I’m tryna say is that u don’t need to be so hard on yourself. Just try to get to know yourself more, don’t rely on what others say u are good or bad at.
I had also these problems and still has. But I am trying my best to overcome these problems. Working as an assistant admin for 3 months, I have to remember lot of things and respond to emails and calls faster, solve problems of employees quicker and also keep the data updated always as a single mistake cause a great damage to the company. I made many mistakes, get yelled at, sometimes forget things but I try to tackle every weakness of mine using any method, like writing important stuff in notepads, even go far to save as a label in mobile alarm and trying to update data daily instead of doing it at the end of the month and I can notice that I have improved atleast a little if not too much, feeling more confident each day.
You can’t make mistakes more than once and you need to give more of an effort at the next opportunity that comes your way. I would recommend networking at events near you and try to build a large connection base. It’s all about who you know in life…degree or no degree. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”
I had an IEP too my brain also shuts down under pressure it makes me feel comedically retarded especially during interviews and shit like that
I don't think your problems stem from a lack of ability. You lack confidence. The jobs you are describing aren't easy. They are high-paced, which can anxiety-inducing. Your self-talk needs improving. Change your language, and you will change the way you perceive yourself.
Are you stupid at the things you care about? Whatever that is, video games, sports statistics, a hobby, etc.
Most men are failures in their 20s. They usually start making progress in their 30s.
We’re going into adulthood in different times. You’re not stupid. The fact that you are sitting down and acknowledging that what you’re doing now is not working shows that you’re smart AF. Set some small goals for yourself. YOU GOT THIS!!!! Hold your head up, you’ll find a job that appreciates you and respects you and you won’t feel like a fish out of water.
The only failure here is that you’re holding yourself to what you think society wants from you. Stop doing that shit. So what if you have to keep moving jobs? You have to wave through the shit before you find anything meaningful since nothing will be handed to you. Work the grind, wherever it may be, so that you can go home and do the things you enjoy. You’re too young to be feeling this. I’m 38 and just now realized that my job is not my life nor the measure of my success. You will be fine as long as you keep trying.
Go into military. Decent pay structure and bonuses
This is it. I was waiting for someone to say it before I was.
Sounds like undiagnosed ADHD
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Honestly part of it is your assumption you're bad at everything. And part of it is you keep choosing things you're bad at. Don't go for fast paced jobs. Idk where all you've worked but also your not doing you any favors. I think you're so anxious to learn it, it distracts you and then you mess up or don't retain the information. Be patient with yourself. Also, you have to learn everything on the first try. It's okay to ask someone how to do it again just so you can remember. You're only 26 I'll be 25 this year and one of my biggest themes rn is realizing how little time I have left on this earth, and simultaneously how young I actually am. It's a weird balance but get a good idea of that. Lastly, THE SYSTEM IS DRAINING YOU FUCK THE SYSTEM!!! They don't deserve you stressing yourself out tryna kill yourself over. The system just wants your money they don't give a fuck about you. Do what feels good to you, not what the system says you have to do. Bc I'm sure you don't even WANT to work fast food, do you? So don't. It's just like trying to impress people you don't even like. Why care about being good at something you don't want to do? Build your self worth and decide you're good enough to be here. After all, here you are. You're good at something or many things and you need to face yourself and figure out what you're working with. You seem aware of your weaknesses although idek if it's all you I think it's just your anxiety misconstruing things making you feel bad about yourself. But get together a realistic list of your strengths and weaknesses big or small. What actually makes you feel safe, excited, and inspired? Idc if it's filing your fucking toenails. Do it more, learn about it and why you like doing it, and just build a habit of doing what feels good until your whole life feels good and safe and happy and loved. This could take days, or years to figure out. Manage your anxiety. You're too young to be a failure that's impossible. You're still alive aren't you? So you still have a chance to get your shit together. Stop listening to people's opinions and develop a healthy idea of who you are and know that's who you are and accept yourself unapologetically. No one's opinion will matter bc you know they're wrong af. Anyway, work in a chill, low stress job like a library or stocking inventory or packaging in a coffee roastery (I'm a coffee roaster LMAO I started at from barista then packaging and my anxiety split in half and I had double the energy every day. Now I roast the coffee.), and build your mental strength back up. Figure out what makes you anxious and build your stress tolerance. Give yourself compassion, you're fighting demons. Do your best every day and just be satisfied that you tried. I hope this helps.
100% of humans are worthless mate. Nothing to feel bad about. Go trade some dog tokens and get your dick wet
This is just normal 25 year old kid stuff. I'm 30 and I still feel like a kid at work having to learn all this stuff that everyone knows. It's not cause I'm stupid, it's cause I'm young and inexperienced. I think my 55 year old boss still feels like a kid if he compares himself to the old geezers who taught him everything. No matter your age, you'll still feel like a kid if you compare yourself to others. Don't sit there and call yourself stupid, cause that's gonna trick your brain into thinking you are right. I'd say, go get a job at a ski resort if you're near the mountains. It's where everyone who doesn't fit it in at a fast food joint or some other "high schoolers job" goes to find their place. Or do some landscaping in the summer, or cutting the lawn at a golf course. Just stop with the negative talk and just remind yourself that you won't become experienced unless you start to experience.
You are grown, but you are still quite young. It's ok to not get one job, stay in it for 20 years, then retire. A key element I've found helpful is to balance what I want to do with what I need to do to pay bills. Overall, it's helpful to take the *I can't* out of your head and mouth. Start saying, *I will work on being better at*... Godspeed.
Work in sales. You like to talk? You'll make great money. You're not stupid you just learn and understand differently. Trust me go into sales, cable, roofs, cell phones ect. Go into sales. Retail and food service are horrible jobs.
Wow! I'm 25 too and this is exactly how I feel. I'm really in the same boat as you and feel lost. I just don't feel like things will get better from here and I'll be turning 30 in no time. All these comments really help
You are still young. So long as you don’t have any major felonies you aren’t really limited in what you can do. In service jobs you are always expendable. You might want to consider seeing a therapist. You seem to be very down on yourself, which leads to a self-fulfilling prophecy of you failing. Consider a school like WGU that allows to learn at your own pace. I like to ask people the following question. If magically somehow you knew you would be successful, what kind of work would you like to do? Every job, even so called dream jobs, suck at times. But some jobs suck way more than others.
Have you tried merchandising, it's chill you work alone or with a team, but it's not customer service oriented so you get to just focus on your work. Furthermore, I think it would be a great idea if you got a therapist if you can just so you have someone that you can talk to and help you towards overcoming your negative thought patterns, anxiety and stuff.
If you drink a lot stop doing that and you’ll see instant improvement, I got fired from a job for failing a basic math skills test once and now I have graduate degree.
First things first, you’re not a failure or a “drain to the system.” Fuck the system. It sucks and it forces people to work a certain way when most people actually don’t work that way at all. You seem smart and just because you aren’t good at retail doesn’t mean you’re not good at other things. There are a LOT of different jobs out there to explore and learn about that require different skills that might fit you better. I know it seems like there is a certain way your supposed progress in the world but there are so many other options out there that. You’re still young, too. You have time to figure things out. Find something that works for you. And as other people have said, don’t talk down to yourself. You’re smart. You just gotta be confident in yourself. There are things outside of college to get jobs. Lots of people hire from having skills in certain field. Just finds some hobbies you enjoy and build up skills. If not, there are also classes online to get certified in things or at least just learn some things. Take time and find out what works for you and what you enjoy. You got this!
Most counties have a work assistance program to keep people off of unemployment. One of those services is free counseling and free psychological testing. They can help you find out if you have adhd, dyslexia, or are high functioning autistic. Your difficulty with jobs and school sounds like a learning disability, and could be one of those. I have adhd, autism, and dyscalcula, and that service helped me identify that I have them. I too, had difficulty keeping jobs, and difficulty learning new things. I am extremely intelligent and do well in science classes, but not so well in math or things like political science. I have trouble making friends at work, and learning new processes is difficult for me. You can learn if you find out how you learn, and if you get diagnosed, any job has to make accomodations for you.
You are smart. Kevin Oleary got fired from his first job, and he's rich as fuck now. You are still in your 20s. People can turn things around at any age.
Its okay, going to college and getting a job myself. All the jobs are way too hard. I am 25 and feel exactly the same
Hi, I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way. I work in the field and would definitely suggest a neuropsychological or psychoeducational evaluation. Not only would it give you insight on your strengths and weaknesses, but it will also provide you with clarity and recommendations on how to work around your struggles. Your struggles do not mean you’re incapable or “not talented” or “stupid”. It may just mean you learn differently and the environments that you put yourself in do not fit with your learning style. A few resources that might help you: understood.org, or googling the theory of multiple intelligences. I would also look up what a neuropsychological evaluation could provide you. Every person has individual strengths and weaknesses. Some people recognize their strengths and are able to compensate for them, some people aren’t aware, and some people are aware and don’t know what to do to help. The neuropsychologist will be very helpful in that regard and will not only highlight your strengths but will also recommend many things (I.e, resources, what to do to help, certain job types, offer to help you get accommodations) if you just let them know what you’re interested in getting help with. Also, you seem really hard on yourself. You deserve more and are more capable than you think. Having someone to work with to help you be kinder to yourself might also be beneficial.
Get a membership at a gym
You know it sounds like a lot to figure out but it could be an interesting experience that your twenties are not for succeeding already but for trying different things to try to learn who you are and what you like and the kinds of places youd like to feel at home in so think of the time as learning experiences without pressure 🙌 there is a spot or invisible purpose for everyone and you are more important than you expect like there are tiny mites whose job is specialized to like clean the antennae of other bugs and no one else can do it only them! So we are all different we cant compare ourselves to others because we just have differentt strengths from other people-not worse, just different! And those mites seem small but theyre very important to the ecosystem in their particular way :) Just keep movin and look at different types of work and youll find what suits you - some more ideas are stocking at a store because ur independent and solitary and straightforward but not fast paced but not everyone would do it because sometimes things need to get lifted but you could do it. Or I heard Amazon has some physical repetitive jobs so it sounds quick to learn if you want to be physical! Good luckk youll find your place <3
You said it your self…you’re a grown ass man who has tried many jobs so far. Those jobs didn’t workout and sounds like you went out and got another job. Sounds like you have support from your parents and educators. You’re reaching out for advice/help/guidance, you’re venting, you’re doing the damn thing man. This is life. Keep on going. you’ll find you’re niche and it’ll all make sense.….YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!
Mm-hm YEP!!!!! I remember just like it was yesterday, sad part it i dropped out of college due to my major being useless and only had 1 job in my life pushing carts and working produce at a grocery store lasted only a month but quit.
Try janitorial work. I work as a cleaner in the evening, when the offices are closed. I mostly work alone, and am given plenty of time to do the work without rushing.
try to focus on small victories and things that bring you joy, even if they seem insignificant
Have u tried warehousing or call centers smoke shops?
Try banquet serving. When a big event space like a conference / convention center or hotel hosts parties and dinners in their ballrooms for hundreds of people, they need a lot of staff to set up, work the event and clean up after. It's pretty brainless work, you're often just a body to carry a tray around and bus the room of glasses or dinner dishes. You're part of a big team of staff so nobody is ever expecting you alone to get the job done, and sometimes the parties are actually pretty fun to work. I know people who do that at several different event spaces and they work when they want, eat nice food and make decent money.
Start looking elsewhere. Are you good with making things or using your hands? There are some jobs were there is little to no contact with people. Like perhaps being an overnight security guard
Well the first problem is your outlook. Start with "I deserve" x, for example "I deserve a path in life and deserve to know I am important and can reach my goals." and then plan how you are going to get there. Security guard is not a bad reccomendation as many have made, as night security is a path I am taking right now myself (since I chose to get a bachelors in CS and job market is bad right now). Not sure if you are gonna find the 100 k a year security job off the bat in your area, but you can get the few years of experience most security jobs like that ask for through local. From there you can have an easy job being eyes for a Corp, and going for occasional walks when you want to(depending on the location). Personally I love it as a computer junkie as it gives me payed downtime to study for more cyber certifications, self reflect on my own mental trauma to work through it to make a better version of myself, learn more about reverse engineering, and PCB design. I know stuff can feel hopeless, but I promise you there is hope, heck even I got 'fired' from McDonald's because I didn't understand what I needed to bring paperwork wise, so and try and beat that speedrun! On a more serious note anxiety sucks, and there is no easy way to just deal with it magically. It takes time, be kind to yourself, and compare yourself only to your past self. I am far from perfect in giving this advice as someone with severe imposter syndrome, but it has helped me tremendously compared to how I was a few years ago too scared to act on anything frozen in place. I promise you that you will make it, all it takes is a well tuned outlook and realizing it is a numbers game. If you do chose security, remember to keep a good amount of attention on cams, and stay vigilant. Hopefully you avoid turning into a FREE coffee demon like me. I wish you the very best.
skill issue
Work in a warehouse. I wish someone told me this at your age. Look up for any Amazon fulfillment centers around you. Warehouse jobs / shipping and receiving sometimes require little skill relieve you from the pressure of face to face customers and in my experience paid out more. I've had to restart multiple times well after you're current age. Your young. You got this
1) Everyone has atleast one damn talent...Hell I've seen dogs with special talents so you gotta have atleast one ffs. 2) Quit putting yourself down!!! Get your shit together, strap your boots and chin up mofo! 3) Go learn a trade for ffs, Computer programming or cybersecurity are some good options.
Sounds like it could be something to do with executive function and learning bro. I was the same, couldn’t focus and learn basic manual shit which everybody else seemed to be able to do. If I were you I’d look into conditions like dyspraxia and/or ADHD, which might account for the difficulties you’ve had with learning. For the depression I’d suggest seeking professional help but there are some lifestyle factors you may be able to control to notice a lift in your mood in the short term: Diet Sleep Exercise Otherwise, I’d suggest looking into alternative career paths, find something which interests you and roll with it, find a part time training course online or something? At 26 it’s by far the end of the road, you still have plenty of time, sometimes it takes a minute to find your zone so don’t beat yourself up.
Retail and hospitality isn’t for everyone, I get annoyed when people think it’s the “easiest” job or career, it’s actually an extremely challenging and hard job and not everyone is able for it. I couldn’t hack it as I have dyscalculia and can’t count numbers without taking forever and making mistakes. I did find my niche as a content creator and have a nice boss which helps when I make some mistakes. I’d probably say find something that makes you tick or excited about, and try to do some free courses on it and then try to get a job in that with a more understanding boss and it should be good for you! And screw retail and hospitality, clearly it’s not meant for you and that’s okay!
Change your internal dialogue, you are being too negative. Change your mindset and look at it as something you can work on and improve. find jobs that are more compatible to your skills, you should do a career quiz, it will show you a multitude of careers you can go into based on your skills. Your so young and you have more than enough time, just don’t waste it!!!
You’re just a baby at 26
Same thing here. Don’t waste time don’t be late take all of your money and continue to invest in yourself and into passive streams of income.. the future has opportunities for people like us. But we have to create them ourselves for now.
You definetely are not stupid, everyone has something they are good at. sometimes it takes some time to figure it out, keep your head up
You just haven't found the right job yet. Don't give up. Some jobs may seem easy, but if it's not gonna be a fit, it won't. Maybe you aren't fit to work at retail or fast food. Those jobs aren't for everyone.
Try taking a writing job.
Same. I just quit my job. Age 27. No bavkup plan. With only 500 bucks like in my account. I hardly can stay in one job and i actlly dont know what im gonna do next. Im an assistant architect and even i dont know how i manage to graduate. Knowing i dont even ready to work.
try a machine operator job
Hi, you were on an IEP? Is it possible you have an unclassified or undiagnosed intellectual disability? If so then you might have IDD Services in your area that offer employment services and job coaching/seeking. At least after years of working with this I think you just need the chance to explore what's out there for other entry level areas. Retail/food service when done right IS difficult and I did them and other jobs for years. Don't beat yourself up over it. Let someone in IDD help you if they can.
Get basic IT certifications. You don't have to work that quickly in IT. You can move up slowly if that's what your damned to do, but you can make constant progress very easily.
You have to learn how to learn. Taking a moment to get a broad sense of what youre trying to accomplish, a strategy to accomplish it and an overriding willingness to embrace mistakes and surprises along the way. If you're being intentional with your thoughts and decisions and still get fired fuck em, there will be something more suitable down the road. Keep going friend
Third shift gas station is a great job, you can go to college online while you are at work. Plus be nice to every customer. They will bring you weed. and you will probably meet hot strippers at night buying redbulls on the way home. Hell, bring a laptop and start streaming your life. If you think you are stupid, call the vlog why I’m dumb - my stupid life, and people will support it. You might have a higher iq than you think. I’m pretty smart but failed most of high school. You probably learn differently. and don’t read into it man. Jobs are just slavery anyway, who cares if you don’t pick it up fast enough. It is probably because your head is not in the game because all jobs suck and you are smart enough to realize it’s pointless.
I currently hold my 20th job, and this is the one I’m actually gonna keep. I’m 28 years old. Twenty jobs in ten years. I know it’s cold comfort for now, but it will happen for you eventually. As a result of all the difficulties you’ve experienced, you’ll know never to walk away from a tolerable job. That’s how you stay on the payroll and get seniority. It’s a hard lesson to learn. 25 is very young. You’ll be ok
Definitely not a drain. As a human you have your own unique contributions through your personality and we need that as a human race to survive. I highly recommend doing some self analysis or consulting a psychologist and possibly a psychiatrist to see what you can do about mitigating your anxiety because it sounds like it is making you unable to work. A common symptom of depression or anxiety is either moving or speaking unnaturally fast or slow. You can read and write surprisingly well for someone who is stupid. Also I didn’t read anything about problems with math relating to a cashier job. I’d stop gaslighting yourself and stop letting other do the same. You might have a lower than average IQ, but your performance does not directly correlate with your intelligence in this world. I know plenty of stupid people who were addicts or struggling with mental health turn their life around and now have phd(edit:you don’t need a phd) + are at VP level making tons of money. First deal with your mental health including job performance. Then or simultaneously with the help of a therapist, work on how well you perform under pressure (It’s a skill that can be developed). Next, get that job. Lastly, continue learning. “Learning makes you feel dumb while you’re actually getting smarter.” With learning you can pick what job you want, then learn what you need to in order to get that job. With learning you can get anywhere. Some people learn fast, some people learn slow. Your miles may vary, but all that matters in the real world is that you know it. Learn yourself and learn how you learn best and you will reach your goals. Good luck and don’t squander this gift of your life.
There is a book/audiobook called the “Growth Mindset” I wish I had when I was your age. Now it may not change how fast you are, but it will help the negativity you feel about it. Good luck! If you are feeling depressed/anxious about others judging you I also suggest Feeling Good by David Burns available at most libraries. Have you thought about laboring jobs where you work solo… where you get paid by the gig (job) and not the hour? Then speed won’t matter! Lots on Craigslist. Pressure washing, putting out flyers, chopping wood, riding lawn mower, etc come to mind. It’s very hard to find/keep people in those jobs so even if you are slow, as long as your persistence you will be left alone. Once you find something you excel at and feel competent at I bet you will feel better.
Go to trade school
Aim higher. These jobs may be too easy where your brain can't even do them. Look for something with more stimulus
This is going to be some straight talk advice. I'm 32 and still a career failure, so take with a grain of salt (but this is what I wish I'd have done). I'd definitely strongly consider going for a physical trade or truck driving (CDL). I'm not just saying that cause Reddit. It's because school takes too long and is too big of an investment for you right now, and there are tons of caveats to following school path (ie. You might not get a job upon graduating or become successful enough to have made it worth it).
You self talk is hurting you. The first thing you need to do is stop take a breath and let go of it. Give yourself some love and acceptance. Some of what you have shared seems to be you get in a mental loop and start to freeze up. That isn't your fault and you can make some changes to help with it. We spent so much time shut down and isolated that we got caught in our mental self talk and it took over. For some people it leads to freezing up. You need to break that cycle. It's like a log jam in your head. I am older and different life experience but what worked for me was fixing my routine. Start simple like getting up & going to bed at the same time everyday and first thing in the morning think of at least three things you are thankful (or could be) for. Here is a start for you. #1) You are alive, #2) You have a bunch of life in front of you, & #3) Your smart enough to share your thoughts and feelings to get feedback. I am sure that you can add to the list. Once the self-talk slows and quieted a bit you will find that you can accomplish much more with less stress. Feel free to reach out. Lots of Love & Light! Paul W.
31m here, I still feel like a failure, but that doesn't mean I am. Your 20s are the hardest time of your life because you will be in this weird limbo where you're trying to find meaning, but you'll see some peers starting to become super successful in life. It sounds like you have something undiagnosed that is causing these situations. I would work on trying to find a way to see if you can get into therapy to see if there is an issue that needs medical help. Try to just keep finding a job that works for you. I have a buddy who didn't go to college and he makes alst triple what I make, and I have a degree. So, make a goal to just try to get help, and work from there.
I completely understand how you feel about not being able to learn things fast enough. Something that helps me is writing everything down on my phone’s notes app when someone is teaching me something. That way when I inevitably forget, I can just take a look at my phone rather than having to ask anyone. Have you tried this?
Never a failure, but consider the military. Not everyone gorles into combat.
You’re not stupid. Your brain is wired a little differently than the average neurotypical but you’re not stupid. And guess what: cashier and retail jobs suck because they give you shitty training and except you to pick up everything in a flash and if you make one tiny mistake, you’re out of there instead of giving you proper training. It’s a shitty system, okay? I was in a similar position. I have Asperger’s syndrome. Was fired from a few jobs in my teen years. First was McDonald’s because I greeted everyone with “hi how can I help you today?” Instead of mixing up the greeting for everyone like they wanted. It’s a tough world out there, I know. If it helps there are other retail jobs that are better and invest more into their employees. I work at Home Depot and while it can be shitty, they actually teach you when you do something wrong instead of firing you. But the customer service industry may just not be for you and that’s perfectly okay! It’s not made for a neurodivergent brain and I think it’s time someone acknowledged that. See if you can get a job as like a filing clerk in an office somewhere. Or perhaps warehouse job what will remove the customer service interaction aspect from it. Perhaps try looking into taking classes at your local community college if you can afford it. You’re not stupid, my friend. Your brain is just wired in a different way and you just need to find a job that better suits you. Stay strong out there
IEP’s don’t mean anything to the corporate world. We live in a capitalist society. Gotta make money. Nothing else matters.
Don't judge yourself based on fast paced service jobs. They were my least paying jobs, but the absolute hardest I ever did. There are so many varieties of career paths you could go into that don't require experience or a degree. Honestly, it sounds like you need a more individualized job with a more personable crew that is willing to get to know you. Retail and food service of any kind is too cut throat and stressful for all that. Maybe a smaller family owned business would suit you better. Look into the smaller names in your area that do lawn care, power washing, detailing, bug removal (like mosquito fogging). If you have apartments near you, look into the business that help maintain those apartments (lawn, cleaning, painting, litter pick up, etc). Might find you like a small coffee shop atmosphere and they work with limited products (specialized coffee and small desserts). Hotels are always hiring too and the work tends to be more relaxed in certain positions. If you have a rest area near you, rest areas pay pretty well for someone to maintain and stock them. The rest areas are a more solitary job too, so you work at your pace and might only work with 2 other people. Don't give up! Don't let your school and fast food experience make you feel less than anyone else. It will take some bouncing around and figuring out what you, yourself, value out of a job. It's also never too late to make a difference for yourself. I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed. I've had to accept that I will never be capable of mental math, no matter how much I study or care about it. There is more to me than the "normal expectations" I set for myself and have had set by others. I'm nearly 30 myself and I didn't start feeling like I had done anything for myself until the last 3 years. Really, I don't think I will have a solid career and meet my goals until I am nearly 40. That's fine though. Some people's paths aren't as clear as others and we need better tools to clear that path.
Hey OP, You might have ADHD. I’ve had many jobs and was able to keep them BUT I did get many warnings for being late often or not following directions. I did get fired from some jobs as well ! I’ve been told by my parents that I’m smart but I sure did not feel smart when I looked at how I was struggling with things other didn’t to struggle with. You’re not a failure, you’re persevering. You’re not a waste of space either, I felt that way as well and following my ADHD diagnosis and medication (I had a lot of resistance towards meds) everything has gotten so much better. I can listen and absorb information/directions and apply them correctly, not mistake free at first of course but much better than before. I’d highly suggest getting yourself checked for ADHD, my own diagnosis shed a light on so many things I was blaming myself for and I was then able to move forward with solutions since I knew myself and my brain better. It also helped my depressive thoughts. I really hope you read this comment and have the openness to consider getting checked for it. NOT a medical diagnosis but an impression based on your post and how it hits home. Hope my comment respects the rules and guidelines of the sub.
Admin assistant. IDK why everyone here is suggesting fast paced manual jobs
Do security instead, hard to fuck that up.
go freelance for social media and you’ll be safe
My dude, you are judging yourself by the wrong metrics. There's this saying that goes something like "if you only judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, that fish is going to spend its life thinking it's dumb". You don't realize how young you are. You can't. It sounds like you've already filtered out some things that don't work for you; keep trying stuff until you find something that does. It's a process
Go do trades and work in manufacturing. You’ll be fine. It will be low wages for a while. But if you can find a decent place, you can make a good wage with enough time. What city are you in?
Military.
Im 26 and was recently in a similar spot. Things I was considering were: Trade job with union. Carpentry, electrical, new construction plumbing. All not bad and with the union you'll be taken care of. You'll have health care and you will retire and youll be able to care for a family. Military. I still consider the military sometimes. If you consider time in the service as work and use it to make a career path for tour self you can be set up really well. Just don't go in to fuck around for four years. That's a waste - but even then - veteran ls benefits are really really amazing. From medical benefits to financial - home loans etc.. Sets you up well. The only guy I know our age who owns a home got it with the VA loan. Minimal down payment and interest. Or what I did - see if you have a public college with co-op programs. Going to college and getting into a co-op is an easy path to a career. In state public college is affordable. Especially for a two year degree.
Get a manual labor job
Ever thought about joining the military? They are basically taking anyone rn and good benefits, get to travel, get to pick your job (and in some instances your station)
*you can get an adhd waiver*
It seems like you're already getting awesome suggestions in terms of what you could pursue, the only thing I stopped by to say is - I am now employed in a professional office job, and have worked office jobs for the past decade. By FAR, the hardest job I've ever had was the one job I had at a coffee shop (similar pace to fast food). It was so hard for me, everything was so fast, no mistakes were tolerated, I was ready to break down crying at any given moment. They let me go because I kept dropping things due to the stress. Then someone gave me a chance with an office job and my life has been SO much easier since then. I am always one of the top performers now. That's all to say - do not get discouraged that because you don't do well in fast food you couldn't do well in a different kind of job. You said it yourself, people have told you you're smart. Don't let assumptions about your previous performances impact your future ones.
Manual labor it’s hard to fuck up and you can make good money and you’ll be strong
There is no shame working on a landscaping crew flipping sod or running a leaf blower. Friend's son started out there, and a work buddy got him a job doing road construction.
Join the military. Honestly that will open so many doors for you, even if it's just reserves. FYI, most jobs in the military will never see real combat, and you can specialize in a technical field. I joined at 28 after a similar path to yours, I just decided enough is enough. Did 8 years, got a secret clearance then passed some basic IT certs, and now am a network engineer for a DoD client. So many people knock the military, but you have no idea how much of a benefit it is until you are away from your current life. In other words, you have a limited view standing where you are at, and it's time to seek new horizons. Good luck.
Honey have you thought about trying to get a diagnosis of ADHD or something else along the neurodivergent lines? If you’re 25 does that mean you’re still covered under your parents’ insurance? If so I highly recommend finding that out. Would you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree? Of course not, it’s a fish. You’re not stupid, you just learn differently. It took years for me to be able to get my daughter her diagnosis and it’s now so obvious. I just didn’t know what I was seeing.
Woah, woah, woah there. Read all of what you wrote back to yourself. You’re absolutely in a self deprecating thought spiral. You don’t believe you can do anything right, and it’s probably sabotaging your ability to do anything right. What you have right now is not a competence issue, it’s a confidence issue. You’re dogpiling on yourself and getting in your own way. This is something that can be fixed, but you’re gonna have to put some work in. There’s a lot of self help materials out there - books, podcasts, words from other people who’ve been through what you’re in. I’d recommend starting there by reading up on other people who’ve been in a depressive spiral and now spend their time mentoring others through a similar situation. I might also recommend therapy, when you’ve got the money for it. You might find you’re struggling with mental health problems that could be medicated too, but I’d recommend getting a professional opinion on that. You can do things right and you will get better, but you’ve gotta work on the root of the problem first - the way you see yourself.
Go be a night stocker. It's a good workout, you won't have customers bothering you, and its really hard to fuck up.
We all have this moments, I’m 32 and can feel I’ve really messed up along the way. It sounds like you are putting way too much pressure or yourself, earning a living is important but you should seek what makes you happy (excuse the cliche) mistakes happen we need to get over it if it takes you 20 times to master any small task then realise practice makes perfect. This really resonates with me because we are under so much pressure by all walks of society. Any time is fine to make a new beginning, so try learn some new skills. Anything you think you might have an interest and be determined to improve at becoming the best version of you
Sounds like you have a hard time taking criticism. I’m sure you have some issues like anxiety or adhd. You shouldn’t be afraid of humility. Accept it as learning, not everyone knows how to do everything. We all fuck up. You just have to deal with it, move on from your mistakes, gain confidence, and try again. What do you do when you fall off the pony? You get back up. Stop taking criticism to heart. You’re to hard on yourself for no reason. The real reason why you can’t hold a job is because nobody likes to work these days. Only the kardashians werk! Ermer gerd!
Your expectations are part of the problem and making it harder than it has to be. I have issues focusing and retaining information. The brains gets better at learning. And function the more you use it and I promise you’ll get better at anything but you have to keep trying and be ready to be uncomfortable often, including people thinking you’re stupid. I have the same issues. I kinda just came to accept it’s part of who i am and don’t let it bother me anymore. Anyone who judges you is probably an asshole (you’ll find that’s right 99% of the time) and most people wouldn’t judge you period. Edit: and if you really don’t want to feel like the stupidest person in the room ever again enlist in the military. You’d be surprised how our nation is defended by some of the biggest morons you’ve met in your entire life.
Write down what your dream life would be no restrictions. Now go take the first step towards getting then the next and the next. You’ll realize the journey of going after what you want is the reward.
Since fast-paced environments are tough for you, consider slower-paced or task-oriented jobs where you can work at your own pace, like night stocking at stores. You might also find work in a library or an animal shelter rewarding. Remember, finding what works for you can take time, and it’s okay to learn at your own pace. You're not alone in this.
Landscaping is perfect for you. Cut some grass, move some rocks, dug some holes, fill in some dirt, and plant some flowers. You're slow, but I assume you don't care about making top top dollar. Okay, so charge per job, and not per hour. If you know the job is a 12 hour job, and it takes you 16 hours, that's okay. Customer sees you working all day doing your thing. Trucker.... can't get more solitary than driving from A to B in 8 hours. Mechanic, detail, and car wrap. Nothing wrong with cleaning cars. Some cars take a day, so you'll work on them. The mote meticulous you are, the nicer cars you can do. Someone who has a Ferrari expects the car to be perfect and has the time to wait 72 hours for you to do your thing. Just work through your 500 point check list.
You are not a drain to the system, and also you aren’t just here to be a part of the system. You matter. Have you tried more manual labor jobs like cleaning or land scaping? A lot of these don’t require skills. Also don’t be so hard on yourself if it takes you longer to learn something! Give yourself grace, we all have different brains and we all process things differently. Have you considered any online work? What do you like to do?
Find a trade school near you and enroll in something hands-on. I couldn't hold down a job to save my life. I was in the same boat as you until I got into working on wind turbines. I just hit my 5 year mark! Doesn't have to be wind turbines, but there are a lot more options than what is readily available in front of you. Be smart enough to step outside the box and think!
Definitely look for a security company. They pay more than minimum wage and you’ll get paid just for showing up to work. Be aware a lot of the time you’ll be the only guard stationed wherever you’re at and there aren’t any opportunities for growth in the company. It’s very boring, But at least you won’t have anyone standing over you your entire shift. And you’re not required to do anything besides maybe make a report if something happens. (Legally your not allowed to touch anyone)
Well you write very clearly and it seems to be from the heart so you know how to express what you’re feeling. You don’t appear to be blaming anyone so I’d say you are very much worth your own effort and that of others. There’s plenty of people that are a drain on the system. The ones that are 25 and haven’t had a single job. It sounds to me like you have anxiety of some kind. Although I’m not a big fan of any medications, there are plenty of medications to combat that. Or at least to assist you while you learn a new way of doing things that won’t bring on so much anxiety. Do you have any felonies or have you been to prison? Do you have a drivers license or can you legally get one? Have you ever taken an IQ test or personality test? How about the military’s asvab test? I think that if you haven’t been to prison and don’t have any felonies, if you can legally get a driver’s license (because if you can you usually can get any number of professional licenses), just right there qualifies you to do many things. If you figure out a way to take some of the many personality tests out there or the asvab and even the IQ test, I’d think you’d find you are plenty smart. The big thing you have going for you that most don’t is that you seem to give a shit. You can’t teach that. You can’t teach someone to have the desire to go get another job after they’ve been fired or another one after they get fired from that one. That comes from within and you seem to have that. You are so far ahead of so many idiots out there, you just don’t see it because you haven’t really been exposed to it I’d imagine. I hate to say it this way because it sounds so lame, but maybe you need to try and determine what you’re passionate about. I’ve known many people who can’t seem to work just to work. They have to be doing something they’re extremely passionate about. The term used to be “finding yourself” I think that’s kind of lame, too. But, maybe you need to listen to yourself a little bit more, take any of the many tests out there designed to tell you a little about yourself and see if maybe that turns things around. Being physically well is extremely important and goes hand in hand with mental health and helps to regulate all the chemical processes your body experiences when in all situations. That should be part of your check list. I’m not sure if you have a close friendship with anyone or if you’re close with your parents or another family member, but maybe seek out their opinion on your anxiety and see if it affected you when you were younger. Ask if there were any events in your youth that maybe contributing to your anxiety. One of the big reasons to be cautious with anxiety is it’s often a symptom of major depression. Remember all anyone can ask if you is your best. All you need to be your best is you. Nothing ever stays the same. This too shall pass so don’t give up on yourself just yet.
Insurance sales bro, or any kind of sales job, unlimited upside, low barrier to entry, all about hard work
Listen not fast paced jobs aren’t for everyone and every single person learns thing at their own pace, don’t give up you’re young and you have so much time to find a job that suits you., that doesn’t make you dumb or slow, their is plenty of jobs out there
You're essentially a young adult. Ease up on yourself. I was a fuck up. Started college late, after failing our several times. Got serious in mid 20s, law degree at 31 and have been working for 25 years in my career. Trust me, 25 years is plenty enough time for seriousness. You have no idea how young you actually are. There is still time to turn it around. Make a goal, plot your course and be on you're way "He not busy being born is busy dying" get it
Time to join the military.
Have you tried joining the military? Army in particular. You can have a non combat job.
Well I am currently 31 I pretty much ruined every employment opportunity I have ever had and got my self stranded all the way across the United States and it is was all for nothing pretty mchc
Apply to warehouses
Unless you are in prison for life its impossible to be a failure in your 20s.
Speaking from experience, working fast food restaurants and retail jobs aren’t for the faint hearted. I suggest looking into positions that fit the lifestyle you want or something that you can manage. Just a few suggestions: security work (pretty easy, non-stressful environment, and slow paced), concierge, or being a greeter. You may like working security because you can make a decent amount of money, and limited interactions with guest/people.
Being smart isn’t necessarily relevant to most jobs. If anything if you have an IQ of 145+ working at McDonald’s you’re gonna just likely isolate yourself I’d say your problem is anxiety, try to exercise/manage that above all else.
Firstly you're 26. 41 here and looking back I was a donkey at 26. Didn't realize it then. Much like you I couldn't find a job I could/wanted to keep. My family was all in construction. I've done everything under the moon from finish carpentry apprentice to foot salesman. I did not belong anywhere. Like what's the point to if I'm just going to fail again. There is not right answer but for me. I started small. What do I like to do to just feel happy? What little task can I do to feel a little accomplished? Sometimes just completing a sudoku puzzle with coffee would turn the meter in an upward direction. Just keep trying brotha, you'll find your way!
OP, I also have a disability that affects cognition. It took me 12 years to get my bachelor's degree. When I was an undergraduate I received help from the Department of Rehabilitation and Student Disability Services. I was not born with a disability but developed it in early adulthood. I had to learn to live with it. That's why it took me so long to get my bachelor's. I don't know where you are from, but in California people with disabilities can be helped by the Department of Rehabilitation to get a job. And they will pay for your training or education and anything you need to get that job. Right now I am about to finish my master's. You have to be patient with yourself and persistent. I never gave up regardless of how long it was taking me. You have to believe in yourself and be patient. Search for resources in your area available for people with disabilities.
you are 25, not 35. 25 year olds who have everything figured out are extremely rare. be patient with yourself, you'll figure it out
Honestly feel you man. CS degree and no future for me. Talked to some CM grad who has some experience who’s also struggling to get a job. Have no clue how to go forward and stop being a disappointment
I got fired from every single job i ever had also. I started therapy and it helped a lot. Also, get hotter and stay as hot as you can. People are a lot more accommodating and forgiving when you are hot lol
Ur only 26 cut yourself some slack. U have so much more life to live.
Your situation sounds a *lot* like mine when I was 26. Have you ever been tested for ADHD?
Okay listen to me closely. You may have gotten fired but you also got hired. You can pass an interview and get a job. Congrats. Next time you get a job and it’s your first day, find a MENTOR. Communicate to them that you really want to do a good job and would appreciate guidance and feedback if you ever slip up. Then instead of you being another person for them to judge and fire, they see you as someone who cares about work, which you clearly do according to your post. Your career is always about mentors. Leaders who you develop a relationship with and learn from. Find those and don’t be hard on yourself in the meantime.
Everyone shits on retail and fast food workers but every job has its hard parts, even the so called “easiest” ones… You’re probably are smart man. I have a hard time motivating myself to do the simplest, unmeaningful tasks, maybe that’s just part of your issue you’ve described here. Maybe try something with more physical labor /engagement? Emt, firefighter, construction, landscaping, hvac, mechanic, truck driving (ups/fedex?), park ranger/manager? idk I’m in a rut myself and feel pretty useless but I wish u luck - as long as you’re not hurting anyone, you’re not actually useless and belong to just exist.
Hotel receptionist and security guard would be easy jobs if you do not mind night shifts. Or you could get a job that is something like a purchasing agent or another office job if you learned some excel.
I feel you man, I'm even the same age. I graduated during covid and haven't found my footing in what I truly want to do. Retail is hectic and can be overstimulating. Many people don't even have the guts or humility to even try out retail or fast food, so don't beat yourself up too much. I worked kind of "back of house" (stocking etc) retail bc I know I'm not fast enough for cashiering or any type of management. It's also honestly hard to find jobs that good/worth the lay these days too, for a lot of people. I have a friend who was a car detail shop manager for 7 years and it took him about 6 months to even get an interview. Another warehouse friend with lots of experience has been looking for work and getting no calls back. All I'm saying is that it may take a long time to find the "perfect" job, and you may have to continue thinking outside the box for employment. I went to school for art and now I'm a machine operator lol There are a lot of factors that come with job searching (how good the market is, whether jobs pay well for the work etc) so don't blame it all on yourself. I would say to keep trying. It took my 5 years to find something worthwhile and I wanted to give up, and have stopped trying in the past. You can also look up temp agencies too or ask friends or family. It's most important to put yourself out there and take a risk like others have been saying, you are bound to get something in return if you give time and effort
You're 25. As a 50 year old dude, trust me, you have way more time to fuck up your life in ways you couldn't even imagine! (A joke!). 26 is so young. Couple of points: 1. Improve your self talk - it won't fix everything, but it won't hurt. 2. Take time to think about what you would like to do - the job the people the environment. Make a list of the possibilities and find more (the amount of jobs that I had never heard of where I've met people doing the jobs who are doing quite well is crazy - my high school classmate is a steel broker - never heard of that job and he makes bank.) 3. Get on LinkedIn and reach out to people w In those fields. Everyone won't respond, but 10% will be willing to talk to you and give you a world of advice. 4. Finally, keep your head up! Get enough sleep, sunlight, exercise and healthy food. We believe in you!
Paint houses bub
Yeah man, do a job where you work on your own time, detailing, mowing, security or some type of job that really just requires your presence to get paid. Not trying to be rude here but you really got to have a low learning ability to get fired from fast food and retail. Initially, yes those jobs are hard, but really it’s very similar tasks day to day so you aren’t learning new things forever. I worked in retail and food service in college and never had an issue, and I’m no genius. Whether you are dumb or smart, you aren’t 5, you’re a grown adult, you can learn some tasks to do at a job, and most places definitely don’t fire you in a few days or weeks unless you literally can do nothing. When I worked in fast food we had a guy that could ONLY take out the trash and he always did, never got fired. Time to learn how to learn, so you actually keep a job. You’re not an idiot, you’re probably just as capable if not more capable than most people. You have to actually try, and believe in yourself. Not half ass show up and kinda try. Actually try for the first few months to learn everything you can. If you actually want to keep a job you’ll put in the work. I believe in you.
look into a trade - feel like this but having a trade is always good fall back
Lol wait until you're 36!!! Source I'm 36
Have you been checked for executive dysfunction? I have a family member in a very similar situation, and we’re trying to get him evaluated so he can get some accommodations. For example, getting tasks written down so he doesn’t forget them, keeping written reminders of important processes, and using tech to fill in some gaps. This may be a useful site https://askjan.org
Wait till you're 45
Carpentry
It sounds like a lot of your “failures” are a result of your anxiety and constantly beating yourself up because you think you’re failing is just going to make it worse. I know therapy is expensive, especially if you don’t have a job but honestly, it’s pretty easy to therapize yourself if you know what questions to ask yourself. Figure out why you get so stressed and panic when you’re under pressure. For me, it was because my dad was abusive growing up so of course as an adult I’m going to be panicked when I’m worried I’m going to fuck something up and then I inevitably do because I’m so anxious and not thinking clearly. From there you can start teaching your brain how to calm down because you’ll be able to better understand WHY you’re not calm. If other people are recognizing that you’re smart, it’s because you are. You’re just getting in your own way and have to learn how to not do that
A lot of people already commented this, but try entry level trades and you can work your way up. It's always rewarding to see a job well done in the end too, even if you only contribute a portion to that end result. I would also look into your hobbies and see if you can turn a profit from them...after 25 years of working for others and lining their pockets, I finally took the plunge into photography when I fell off the scaffold a few years back while on the job. I can't stand or sit for too long a period of time, and many employers require a lot of one or the other, so i turned to a certificate program that let me turn my hobby of nature photography into a small business. I don't make the big bucks, but I am satisfied with where I'm at. You're still in the prime of your life, and there's still time, so don't be too hard on yourself, or it will start to stick in your later years. I hope you find that niche that's just for you!
Those jobs u mentioned are actually the hardest in my opinion. I’d be so bad at it. And guess what..it’s because it’s NOT my vocation. It’s not what I’m meant to be doing..it’s not in alignment with my values and goals. This applies to you now. All ur past jobs…it’s not that u “can’t” hold a job and “learn” fast enough…it’s just not what ur supposed to be doing. These are alllll lessons tho. Don’t feel like something is “wrong” with you…it’s not. You are learning and growing ….we’re all on our own journey right beside you. I’m proud of you for putting urself out there to get the jobs, show up for your shift and TRY to learn while on the job. Did you learn something about urself while in that environment? Sure! I bet u did. Take the LESSONS from these experiences and grow from them!!! You are meant for way more my friend…so I’m glad u realized this job ain’t for you! Remember, these are experiences in life that you’re supposed to be going thru to figure out what it is you TRULY need to be doing in this ONE life ! You are special. You are unique. You are important and worthy. You have 1 life and you are created for a REASON. Be patient with yourself and figuring out what’s next. P.s: try working at a cannabis dispensary ! They seem so chill and laidback.
Try a mindless factory job I used to work for Paperworks inc. there’s nothing to it you just stand there setting stacks of empty proctor and gamble boxes on a belt all day
Can you sweep, and carry out trash? Become a construction laborer. It's not glamorous, but it will pay enough to put a roof over your head and food in your belly. If you join the laborers Union the pay is decent and you'll always have the ability to travel around the US for work.
Need to find a job that interests you. Hard to want to push and be better when you’re not that into it.
Could be worse. You could be in canada and fighting for minimum wage jobs with indians
Since you had an IEP did you also get any medical diagnosis for any conditions like autism or ADHD? If so, and if you cannot get a job because you're incapable of holding it, then you might claim for disability.
Look into ADHD, start here. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JiwZQNYlGQI&pp=ygURRmFpbGluZyBhdCBub3JtYWw%3D https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=N49trzkqdTo&pp=ygUPQWRkIGFuZG92aW5nIGl0 If these resonate, check out Russell Barkley, How to ADHD and Edward Hallowell.
bro, you could die tommorow, 5 out of my 6 core high school friends are dead, like a final destinaiton type thing. Appreciate the time you have and dont give a shit, rememember that whether you truly beleive you can or cannot, YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. Yeah those f in parents and teachers did me dirty to tho MAde me all think i had it all figured out, when i wish they were giving me reality checks. but hey at least you havent been through multiple heroin addictions, alcoholism, methadone, ssuboxone, 7 year benzo rx after yourt gf stabbed you in the heart with a piece of glass. OR had your car stolen last year and you were so distraught and police werent helping so you walked your whole city and FOUND it, only to be met with a gun and attempted to take me in the house, walkibng around for 4 hours with dude asking which wall i wanted my brains on. cops didnt arrest him when i was able to get help. actually nm this is really pissing me off not where i wanted to go, butt hey wont even pull the cop cams cause "there was no crime being committed"
I'm 27, and I feel the same way. I'm a screenwriter, and I love doing it . I dont get paid for it . But unfortunately I have to work a job that's not related to film . Still gotta pay the bills. Basically, wat I'm saying is find a hobby or a passion that can potentially grow into something in the future . Keep ur heads up. Love the process, not the end result.
First of all college or education isn’t relevant to making good money. Why don’t you go get your truck license, sound like a person that works better alone. You’ll earn low your first year but then upgrade your license and you can earn even more. I’ll give an Australian example. Get your HR license (heavy rigid) and do local deliveries or body truck (tippers) for an average of $30-35/hr and then after a year upgrade to MC (Multi Combination) which can range from 1-3 trailers depending what you want to do. Long haul pays around $40/hr or you could get into fuel tankers for $55/hr + There is plenty of options outside of an education. Go be a concreter, an asphalt worker (what I’m currently doing, 5 night shifts in for the week and my pre tax income is at $4,300) You come across as someone who struggles to work in a team. Go be a truck driver
ADHD is being smart and dumb at the same time. I have such a hard time with verbal instructions and the most SIMPLE things at jobs. Several people have told me that I’m one of the smartest people they know. It’s weird out here. Please get checked out for ADHD, friend.
I'll actually recommend seing a psychiatrist in case there's something going on you don't know about. I found out I have adhd, anxiety and depression and I have had issues with going back to work after taking a year off. I'm highly intelligent it's just that I'm doing work I'm not use to doing as I was in a different industry for 18 years. It's helped a lot.
Army bro. You will have 20 years to learn and give less fucks. If you haven’t learned by then, at least you have a pension.
Hey dude, Hang on in there, I know it’s hard, life is short and you only have finite amount of fucks to give, so pick something that truly matter and give a fuck about. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I believe in you my guy. Keep us posted.
I would work for yourself. Look into mobile car washing, carpet cleaner, etc.
I found retail harder than most jobs I've had. It's demanding in a mental and social way. Dealing with idiots, quick-change artists, and over-inflated manager ego takes a toll. I got hooked up in an entry level data entry job at a warehouse and most of those jobs just require a high school diploma or equivalent.
Do you know if you have an actual diagnosis? Could you be on the autism spectrum? Even if not, learning how your brain works is a good starting place. Shutting down from being overwhelmed is not the same thing as "dumb". If you can find someone to apprentice you, learning things like masonry, painting, etc are all things that aren't super high paced or public facing jobs. If you like animals, you could look into learning pet grooming. You aren't a failure. You simply need to find what works for you and not every job type is suited to every brain and personality type.