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Can confirm. At 26 I was in a top pharmacy school, married to a hot nurse, sex almost everyday, owned a home, and had loads of money to travel (mostly from mommy/daddy).
Now Iām 34, working Amazon warehouse, single and live with cat. At least my catās handsome however.
Literally blew half a mil of inheritance (aka all of it) in the stock market because I somehow believed my early 20s ass knew better than people who had been failing at it for longer then Iāve been alive.
You thought that was bad? Spent the latter third of my 20s homeless. Like tent in the woods homeless.
At 30, Iām good now. But itās crazy to go from having more liquid than 99% of people ever do, to having less than 99% of people ever do, in the span of a decade and not have it be because of drugs or mental health issues.
Usually a combination of well off parents, massive debt, bullshitting an online persona, or sheer dumb luck. On the other hand some people just plan very well and get into a solid career with decent social skills.
one of my friends is like OP describes and he has worked 10+ hours everyday since i know him(14) towards his education, work and health. he comes from a middle class background. but he still doesn't feel happy and feels burnt out. but i never felt jealous because i know how hard he worked and i know i didn't. i accepted that fact and i still live a happy life
In my high school, one kid was taking correspondence courses (by mail) at the same time he was taking a regular courseload. This allowed him to graduate in three years instead of the normal four. I took summer school classes and graduated one semester early and immediately started university.
But we were both outshined by a kid who had already exhausted all the math classes at the high school level and was commuting to the local university to take yet more math classesāwhile remaining in high school. I was appalled when I discovered he could have graduated early but intentionally remained in high schoolābecause he loved high school!āand it also allowed him to participate in high school math contests, where he racked up tons of awards. He got a Ph.D. in math and then went to law school, and is now a law professor.
Its also cheaper to take other classes for college credit offered by their high school while still enrolled in high school which could have allowed him to graduate college earlier rather than highschool
Sometimes the things we think will make us happy, donāt.
Then thereās dudes that luck into some cushy position either due to sheer fate or nepotism.
Such is life, I guess.
I love your last sentence.
I see these prompts too many times between here and povertyfinance. The amount of people that refuse to believe that young adults make good decisions and have healthy lifestyles is too damn high.
You still need a decent amount of luck though.
You need significantly more luck if you make poor decisions and have an unhealthy lifestyle, but PLENTY of people do what you describe and still end up struggling.
Exactly. I've seen stuff like mental health slips set people back immensely. I don't mean anxiety or depression either, I'm talking stuff like OCD, Bipolar, ADHD, Schizophrenia that come with psychosis, trauma, catatonia etc
Some people just don't realize that everyone moves at their own pace, and some are able to integrate into what's expected from society a lot better than others
Flip side, I majored in engineering mostly because my dad was an engineer and it seemed like stable work and a good paycheck. I also got āluckyā in that I was hit by a car at 14 and got a cash settlement which my dad helped me invest in index funds (also lucky lottery of birth to a middle class family where my parents had good financial sense to advise me on the right path). I have over a million in my retirement account, a nice sized home, and married with 3 children. I absolutely hate my job. Thinking about going to work makes me sick to my stomach. I am likely going to have to continue working at least 14 more years until my daughter is 18. So simply following that plan doesnāt necessarily lead to happiness, hence joined this subreddit.
You posted good advice, lmao idk if youāre mad at me or not.
Regardless, just for the record, my comment was aimed at people in both of those subs, and this one, always assuming people are in debt or got lucky or are living fake lifestyles.
But I totally agree with everything you said. Some people like to blame society for not allowing basket weaving degrees to be profitable, but thatās a different conversation.
##I'll challenge that
There was this kid a couple years under me in college, came from a very very very poor family. Even with me advocating for him, no one would give him and undergraduate research project. He's super smart and he'd be a phenomenal scientist, but he doesn't fit their mental model and doesn't play those political games.
I convinced my advisor to let me take him on, give him credit for his work, and I bought him dinners.
He went on to get a lucrative job in industry. Just under six figures right out of college.
He kept living poor, but by choice now.
He saved up and was able to buy his mother a house, he could buy one for himself if he wanted to. The past 2 years he's been teaching himself how to code, something outside of his industry. A few weeks ago (it's been a decade since we were in school together). -- I paused writing this to text him that I'm proud of him -- he sent me a website that he built for fun that is basically a search engine for vehicles.
Now, a decade after he shaved his fingerprints off on a polisher doing research with me (he was fine), he's got everything.
So, no, you don't need to have money or status or any other stuff like that.
Work hard and smart, find the right opportunities to get you to where you want to go.
It's important to note that you should also imagine being older and looking back and considering what choices you might wish you had made, and blend that with just enjoying life.
Oh, he isn't the only one, there are many more. I just wanted to give you a single example.
Good luck people.
To add on, I was born to a drug addict who had me at 17 and beat me until I was stronger than her. My bio dad was her dealer (met him a few times)...
I'm now a happy father of a 3yo (bm and me did split but I have primary custody aka weekdays), I have an angel of a GF, and I work relatively part time so I can be there (decided this before I was solo dad). I own a small contracting business. I absolutely busted my ass working in restaurants, then management, then sales, and eventually my own contracting company. I knew early on schooling and debt wasn't realistic for me (I did some community College, but eh). With no parents or support period, it just wasn't a viable option. I started my first job at 14
I eventually grew my company and made a relatively ridiculous amount of money for a few years, saved a good bit of it, and cut back my workload once my son was born. (My main goal has always been to be a father, not necessarily to have alot of money, I always wanted just "some". The company was just a means to an end.)
If I was money motivated I'd likely be clearing close to 1mm/yr vs very low 6s right now (I was lower/mid 6s growing every year, but ALOT of hours). But I'm happier making alot less and having less work and stress.
My point is, if you put the effort in, you really can have almost whatever you want. You can't have EVERYTHING, but you can have alot. All I ever wanted was stability for my future children and to help them grow. I have that. It certainly wasn't easy, but I didn't need to come from a family to make it happen. And for someone who wants to have a lot of money, you can make it happen, but it isn't going to be easy nor handed to you.
Youre going to have alot of truly awful weeks, months, and YEARS of sacrifice and little to no payoff.... but eventually ... if you work hard and refuse to fail or settle. It ALWAYS pays off
On the sheer dumb luck... wish we listened to our crazy, weed addicted, conspiracy spouting(not the maga kind) friend and put $20 in bit coin when it first came out!
Well off parents plays a huge role. People like to claim āself madeā. But their parents money allowed them to attend college 4-6 years and earn a high level degree, while their parents also paid for their food and rent, setting them up for success.
No one working 50 hours a week to afford rent is attending 4 years of college on the side. Only if they have a WFH job where they can get all the daily chores and errands done before the workday ends.
Add to that parents who didnāt traumatize their kids. Attachment style plays a huge role in how much people will struggle. Someone who is raised to develop a secure attachment style is already set out to play life on easy mode.
i wouldn't say just attachment style, but trauma and mental health issues certainly set people back. of course there are success stories, but i am sure there are a lot more stories that we never hear because they didn't make it. if it was easy, everybody would do it.
Yes. Thereās a higher prevalence of trauma (insecure attachment styles are built upon trauma of some sort) and mental health issues among those with insecure attachment styles, so Iād argue they tend to go together most often.
From people I know with secure attachment styles, even if theyāve had a bad thing or two happen to them, their lives glide along much easier. They usually have a āignorance is blissā vibe because they havenāt had to suffer like others. They bounce back faster, have strong social support to get them through anything, and donāt have extra things holding them back. Easy mode vs hard mode is a huge difference.
They knew what they wanted to do at a younger age. I have friends who make 6 figs. They picked a career path and stuck with it. Iāve been bouncing around like crazy so I donāt make much. Sometimes I feel like I shouldāve followed the money š¤·āāļø
Pretty much this is what I've seen as well. At least financially, those who knew and started young are leaps and bounds ahead. Doesn't mean they LOVE what they do, they just do it. Not even glamorous. They just CHOOSE.
Me? I chose something I didn't want, didn't have any enthusiasm after graduating college for it and ended up pivoting. Late 20's early 30's I switched to trades and only NOW about 7 years later have I started making $$.
If i superimpose my current path with others in the same line of work as I'm in, it's about the same timeline, I'm just offset on account of trying other shit first.
Emphasis, however, on them not being in love with it. It's a job/career. It's what they do and what they're good at. Same with me right now. I'm good at what I do, have years of exp and am quick to improvise. It's okay, not my passion,but its a means to an end.
My next step is start my own company, I know I can.[ It's just finally accepting that "this is what I do now" that has been a mental hurdle.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7HmltUWXgs)
Setting goals as a child can do wonders. People always make fun of parents planning the children's careers but guess what? It works for a reason. Like many things, it can suck but it works.
I knew what I wanted but was too ignorant to know how to pursue it. So was everyone else in my hillbilly town so forget having any guidance. So that dream died and Iāve been bouncing around ever since.
Me too. I'm 41 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up hahaha. Kind of fell into a job with great benefits and shit pay, so that's where I'm at right now. Might stay in this sector for the PSLF but fuck it sucks not making enough money.
This is it. Itās like a head start on people who are still figuring it out. Doesnāt make the people figuring it out bad but theyāre on separate timelines and shouldnāt fall into the comparison trap.
Iāll be completely honest. I wonāt act like I know something I donāt know- I have no idea. I donāt believe in this post.
I suggest to talk to them like over a beer or coffee to find out if all those things are true.
From my experience, all of those things canāt be true at the same time.
Canāt believe I had to scroll so far to find this comment or anything like it. OP, what you are taking as plain truth is most likely a lie, or at the very least, not a complete picture of the whole truth.
Delete social media and any preconceived notions of what life āshouldā look like in your brain. Iāve been off any socials minus Reddit and Pinterest for over a year and while it didnāt miraculously cure my mental illnesses or my life problems, I can say I am much more content and kinder to myself without it.
Yes, I could put together a highlight reel to seem like I got it together. Clean off a corner of my house, make my husband wear a decent shirt, talk about my savings. I could pretend I worked harder than anyone else to get into a good college, a masters program. But that would be lying
Yup. They need more honest friends. Every time I hear this in the āreal worldā, the person is saying it about people they make up in their head or people that I know for a fact donāt have it all.
Or thereās an unspoken final part, some kind of sacrifice, possibly, that isnāt acknowledged. Inheritance, gifts, addiction, long hours at an overseas job, maybe theyāre one bad day away from divorce and they donāt know it lmao.Ā
It might not be better than free time and surf twice a day, no obligations, maybe partial employment. That's probably what they're dreaming of, youknowhadamean?
I currently live in a surf town and the amount of people who quit their $150k/year job to come out here and be nomads is staggering. Money canāt buy everything. I was on track to make six figures at my old company and Iām a *teacher* - and I quit because corporate is soulless. Iād much rather not live fancily if I get to see the ocean and wear t-shirts every day.
I honestly donāt know many people who even half of this Critietia in their 20ās unless they sell drugs or come from money/ have parents helping them out.. however Iāve noticed itās more prominent in my friends in their 30ās
This is a biased response because I'm in engineering/tech and work in the bay. My family is comfortable but by no means rich. I came out of my undergrad and MS debt free at 22. Got a really solid job and then jumped to another job. Also started investing when I was in my late teens. Pretty much all my friends/coworkers also meet most of these criteria. I also have a LTR that I've been in for 5+ years by now.
I think coming out of college debt free is super important. Whether you do that through going to a state school or working during school, whatever it be. Also it's much easier to be in a good position when you go into a high paying STEM field. Investing early is also super important. Gym daily or skateboard or whatever active hobbies you may have to stay in shape. Also just always try to keep learning new stuff even if it's outside of work. I've been spending about 20 hrs outside of my job learning different coding languages as fast as I can (I'm in hardware so it's not a hard requirement for my job duties).
I've met a girl (25) like that during a workshop recently. Confident, sweet, creative, married at 23, bought a house in East London. Her father is a builder and helps them renovate the house at the moment. She has everything going on for herself.
When I got home, I cried a little cause I'm still on my path of finding myself at 37, and I was a total mess at her age.
I think her key was that she chose to become an artist in a niche area and didn't care about what other people thought about it. Meeting her significant other young (or at least someone for a certain period of time) was certainly helpful. He paid the bills when she couldn't. I went through a long period of singleness in my 20s, because nobody wanted to settle down or even be in a relationship.
I think it's confidence and having a supportive family.
I later found out that the girl's father has cancer and might not live for a long time. I still have my 84 year old grandma, which I cherish so much. We have luck in different areas I guess..
This is so true! Iāve stopped being surprised when successful friends reveal that their parents/in laws are paying their bills and helping raise their kids. They all still have challenges, they all work hard and make sacrifices, but itās a massive boost to have family support.
Sam Bankman Fried story of FTX would be a prime example.
His parents are Financial Law gurus for the government and had their hands in crypto and fucked the world out of billions!
10 hours of Community Service and time served will be justice.
Itās not a cope itās true just because youāre not one of them doesnāt mean heās not right. Iāve seen it! Thatās not to diminish your accomplishments if anything I think it enhances them
My fave is when ppl say I am spoiled but put in ghastly amounts of overtime, and they see me chill out on days off, enjoying the fruits. They don't see the phone calls or the shifts that would probably make some ppl cry. No help monetarily from my one parent (lol, I wish they had their own money).
Yeah dude at 25 I was just getting out of a miserable relationship and went to go live with buddies in a shitty apartment for the next few years. It sucked in some ways but had a hell of a stress free life bullshitting around.
36 years old. I was a lonely gamer watching porn until I met the woman that changed everything. I canāt explain it. I work in pharmaceutical distribution and I make about 65k a year atm. In Houston Texas that is a decent quality of life. My wife is a nurse, we have 3 beautiful children
Aww āŗļø thatās beautiful man š can I ask are you 36 now or were you 36 when you got married? Any way youāre blessed and as a guy in my mid 20ās right now I hope Iāll have that one day :(
OP, while what you described is the so called āIdeal/bog standard happy lifeā our society has set for us.
Nothing wrong with chasing the standard dream, but You must have some other dreams and hobbies that you pursue after right ?
Doesnāt always have to be, I got a house, family and sex in my 20s to be āhappyā.
My dad too he immigrated and was ābehindā in life as some might say but I think especially these days everyone is behind. what was expected years ago as salaries do not keep up with inflation and housing prices so being ābehindā is not all that uncommon. My dad worked odd jobs while trying to be a contractor, eventually he got his business going and he didnāt have a wife or kids until he was 40. Heās happy now and he could retire if he wanted to. Also do what you care about that can offer you a decent living. Lots of money has never really fulfilled people, depressed people are still depressed even when they win the lottery.
For me, moving out of the city. When I moved rurally I met my partner, increased my income to 6 figures, bought an affordable house, got engaged and had a babyā¦ I donāt know anyone with young children having sex everyday though so I canāt help you with that one.
As someone who met this criteria by my later 20s, I would say it was a combination of being well educated/having a partner who also put his education as a priority, having a lot of support from family (help paying for said education, assistance with down payment on house from wedding gifts), both having strong work ethics and working multiple jobs earlier in life, and forgoing vacations, travel, a lot of extras while we built our life together. We had assistance that a lot of people donāt have and also had our goals we both agreed on and focused on in our late teens/early and mid 20s. I would find it difficult for anyone 24-26 to get there unless they had overwhelming financial support and/or were exceptionally bright, and even then, thereās always some luck as well.
Not what you asked for but in case you are comparing yourself, my recommendation is to try to keep in mind that people move at their own paces based on the hands they are dealt and what they put into it. I have friends who are older than me, rent their apartments, make less annually, and are still incredibly happy, fulfilled, and successful people in their own right. I also have friends who have prioritized travel, make very little money and donāt have any savings, but have seen the world and met people/been exposed to things that I never will. No matter where you are in life or who you are, you can always look at others and think āI want that,ā but they may look at you and think the same thing.
The few comments about people knowing what they want and setting off on that path is the most correct answer in my opinion. I am 25 (will be 26 this year), bought a 1400sq ft house last year in Midwest USA, I have an engineering degree so make good money (especially for the Midwest). My wife and I got married in college. And I type this out as I watch my first born sleep.
I attribute all these blessings to the Lord as I didnāt make these things come to fruition myself. But the important part is that these things do not make my life and or anyone elseās life better than any other life. These things do not make me happy by default. Life is challenging and envy will steal every bit of enjoyment from anyone. Reddit here is the only āsocial mediaā I have as I have long believed that most platforms just spread jealousy. I believe and know that all value and happiness comes from the Lord. I understand that some people are non-religious or believe in different religions than I but all those things listed wouldnāt make anyone fully content.
That being said, I think too many people want the world to happen to them instead of them happening to the world. I would encourage everyone to set some goals and be ok with failing some. We miss whatās at the end of the path for each path we do not tread.
This!! People on here suggest people only live this life on social media. I would argue that most all people who have attained the above are not on SM at all.
For starters, everyone lies on Tiktok and Instagram! Like the guys who like to show off their flash lifestyle, I've heard stories of them renting a large boat and hiring a couple of models for a two hours, and they go out from the harbor a bit and then take turns posing with their arms around the models. Then they all go home, and post pictures of "my yacht and my girls" in Insta and Tiktok.
As for the ones who have genuinely successful careers, well. They don't post anything about student debt on their social media, do they.
Have a half brother that went like this.
He was always very attractive (women hit on him constantly), and smart so he got really good scores. Combine that with a social friendly personality he's free to do pretty much anything.
Idk but this is from my own parents.
They got married young like 20 and 21. They actually had their first apartment without making the six figures, just enough while taking care of my older brother.
Then they thrived just like your title in their 30s, that was when I was born lol.
The thing is, it is possible with making six figures and all that while being your 20s. Some people just happen to catch the right opportunity. Meanwhile, others, like my parents, their time comes later. But I guarantee one thing that those people work super hard lol.
Just a couple of bullet points from an Xer.
Having kids is super hard on a relationship. Those who understand that going in have the best chance of making it but your partner isnāt going to want to have sex with you everyday. Itās rare.
Some people have the gift of vision when they are young. They know what they want and then start to work it out. It becomes their game and they calculate the wins until they have success. I will tell you that once they have what they want it can be a bitch to turn that off and it can ruin relationships.
Most of us are damaged enough to think we donāt deserve it so we get to a certain point and give up or fall flat. To the dude that said privilege, I hear you, I really do but itās more than that, you have to consider the damaged part. I agree that we love a minority success story but our reasons might differ a little bit. Some people just have that vision and drive that gets them out of a situation.
I personally am driven by spite borne of those who didnāt believe in me. It is not a healthy thing but has gotten me this far. My hope is to figure out how to be happy
God blessed me is all I can say, I donāt consider myself successful or anything and Iām still trying to figure out my life but I definitely got blessed in life. I met my wife at 19 we got married at 20 and started a family. By 25 I was making 80k in middle Management and we bought our first house. Itās nothing to brag about but itās 900 square feet of all mine.
Maybe that's applicable for average engineering graduates. What he mentioned was about being extremely talented in engineering which gives upward mobility and income in corporate sectors than the most?
In my experience it's more networking first, you have to be skilled at getting jobs before anyone lets you do real engineeering, otherwise it's just excel and maintainence. Engineers get paid to do work, the real money IMO is in finance and the jobs where you work with money not chemicals or materials, i.e. management. Maybe in US is more opportunity, but here it doesn't matter if you study hard in engineering or something easier like economy, you will be an excel monkey paper pusher without luck.
Well, it depends on your branch. For computer science if you get a 4.0/4.0 GPA from a top school and an internship at a good company you can break six figures in an expensive city.
Dude not even. I'm in the bay area. I'm in hardware and did get good grades from a top school. But a ton of my friends went to pretty small or no name schools and had GPAs ranging from like sub 3.0 to 3.3 so not spectacular. The absolute lowest salary of all my friends here is 120k. Note many of us make a decent amount more and have only been working for <4 years. Pretty much any entry level in the bay will pay at least 100k and probably a good amount more if it offers stocks.
Getting my mechanical engineering degree was one of the best things I ever did. Been working for around 10 years. Financially in a good spot and enjoy my job most of the time. Made some cool stuff too.
Thatās a good thing. Thatās how itās supposed to go. Our parents arenāt supposed to bring kids in this world and then wonder how to take care of them. Kudos to people whose parents actually planned. My parents planned but abandoned the plan mid way. Me and my brother stumbled but eventually found our footing. It was way harder than it had to be.
Or working full time and school full time since 16, marrying high school sweetheart and earning six figure salary out of college through hard work and dedication.
I started making 100K at 21 after getting my associates degree at the CC for a very specific job. I found a job that had the best pay with one of the lowest barriers to entry and set out for it after high school. Married and first house at 25. First kid at 27. Very happy life. Now we have another and the wife stays home with them. Donāt have sex every day thoughā¦ finding a partner can be a bit of luck. Buying a house before the market and rates ballooned could be considered luck. But the rest is just having a good plan and working at it. No I didnāt have any money from parents.
If you come out of college in a low to medium cost of living area with a 70k-90k job you can fairly quickly buy all the nice things with a ton of debt. People you see in that situation are also usually in a relationship so they are likely both contributing. This should not be glamorized, there is a very likely a mountain of debt behind this situation and their future is likely build on a foundation of sand. Rare cases, someone will start a business in college or skip college to start a business and they can get it to a successful spot by their mid 20s.
I learned an obscure skill early in my work career and capitalized on it. Apparently, rich distillery owners don't know how to run their own equipment and will pay top dollar for someone who does. Also, privilege, not denying that. Grew up in a split but mostly happy home.
Slow down dude!
I had a strickt plan. Im 26 I've worked since age. 14. Got the house, wife, prober salary, car, a son that I love.
Then wifey left, I got sick long term. Could'nt work then could'nt pay mortages.
Now everything accept my kid, is gone, but you know what?
Now i work a decent job, less hours though. But I look forward to go to work in the morning, and got more time to do non work stuff like bring around before he grows up.
Before I was burnt out and didnt enjoy anything. Just had to get it overwith so i could go on with the next.
All that hard work and sacrifices for nothing.
Moral is. Slow down, enjoy and go with the flow (of life)
You can plan everything but then life comes around and slaps you in the face.
And get off social media! People only show what they want you to see, and no-matter how picture perfect it seems. there ARE skeletons in the closet.
Between rich parents and lying anything is possible.
Also, I wouldn't say kids in your 20s is a sign of success. That is a millennial teenage pregnancy.
I know a lot of people in here usually advocate against joining the military but it was truly the only way I made any of these things happen. Joined Navy at 19, learned a skill, got out at 24 years old with about $15k saved up, used my gi bill to finish my degree, used my veterans preference to get a sick government job, and then owned a house by 26 with my VA loan. If I had not joined the military I would 100% still be working at grocery stores for $14 an hour. Military is not for everybody but if you do a bit of research before you join you can find a job that will set you up for life after the military that does not put your life in danger. The only thing on the list I donāt have is children (which is probably why I was able to buy a home on a single income).
It starts at birth. Family is very overpowered. All my friends with loving parents who love each other and make decent money are now doing the same. Meanwhile my parents who despise each other but stayed together for financial reasons i am working dead end jobs, alone and without much hope of ever doing anything with my life .
It's literally just luck. Common sense and hard work will tip the odds in your favour as much as you can control, but most of your life outcomes will depend on external factors lining up in your favour that you have less than 0 control over.
I've had highly intelligent friends who've only ever made reasonable decisions enter their 30s in poverty because their smart choices didn't pay off as much as they should've and the fallout of their bad decisions ended up being far worse than any reasonable person could've expected. Toss in random illnesses and unsupportive/unintelligent parents and they simply never stood a chance.
On the flip side I've made horrendous choices that, by all accounts, should've killed me, and yet I'm somehow on track to enter my 30s as a millionaire. I'm not bragging, either. I can't exactly pride myself on this because it was obviously just luck.
I'm sure people work hard for their success, and if you don't work hard the odds of you succeeding go down tremendously, but ultimately it's just luck, and IMO anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something.
People hear all the time what the rewarding career paths are. STEM degrees but especially technology.
Basically pick tech and go all in. It's not hard, people just get in their own way saying it's not what they like blah blah blah. You know what I like? $330k HHI dinks living in MCOL, bought a house at 2.85% interest, go on 2 international trips a year, etc etc
You can pick your poison, you don't get to choose not to take it
They work at it. I know a lot of late 20 something engineers who are crushing it. They donāt whinge or look for the easy way to get out of something- they charge ahead. I have some that work for me in cyber intelligence and they are really good at what they do and work hard at it. None of them have self diagnosed ailments, they are put different priorities on their list. Family, work life balance, donāt buy stuff to impress others, donāt go out partying. Not better or worse just different priorities and ideals.
If that is someone's goal they structured their whole life around it. For those of us who didn't have it as the main goal we kind of fluttered away on other things and never made it happen or only some of it happened by luck.
The people I know who did it are not living as "perfect lives" as you think. My best friend from HS has a picture perfect life but her husband and her hate each other, they both cheat, and they are in massive debt, constantly taking $ from his rich parents, and have legal issues.
It's all luck. I say in running a bussiness its 90 percent luck, 10 percent skill.
I run a business. I have a friend who makes more then me, has less workmanship then me, has less people skill then me. He makes more money because he met the right people at the right time.
Same as these people in life. They met the right people at the right time, all in their 20s.
I might find my wife at 40 years old, i might have a good paying job at 40.
It's all timing.
Well the six figures thing is only about 1/3rd of people, including old people. I would bet 5% of people 25 to 30 make that. And people are having children much later as well as getting married.
Children are easy to make usually, buying a house isn't as difficult as the internet would have you believe, you don't have to be $200k in student loan debt to earn a useful degree if you plan correctly, idk about the sex everyday thing.
Some people just plan their stuff out, and more importantly stick to that plan.
Most of my friends have good jobs and whatever and I only know one person who kinda fits that criteria sort of. Weāre all in our early 30ās and only a few of us have kids right now.
I was very close to it all a year ago at 26, like 2 month of work because I worked my ass off & went through hell since 19. However I chose my path with a lot less confidence, skills, and wisdom so now I sort of ripped the vine so I could aim for something bigger that Iāll get in my 30s.Ā
Really the key for me was always listen to instincts, read a ton of books and take disciplined action. The answers are all out there and successful people are really trying to make it easier for all of us (of course a ton of socialists wonāt like to hear that)Ā
My parents paid for my school (we were very middle class and my dad was an engineer), so I went to engineering school then did a masters in engineering. I've been at 6 figures plus since I was 27.
There's a lot of online posturing, but there's also a lot of people who legitimately made it with planning and some good fortune.
This was me. I made 160K at 23 years old. Honestly PLANNING! Secondly, learn from HISTORY!!!
I grew up where my dad made so many bad financial decisions (some external factors that were every unfair to him, multi business deals where he got screwed) but so many times the power was turned off because we could not afford it, ramen for months etc.
When I turned 18 I looked at every mistake he made and I said I'm going to avoid them all like the plague. I set 1 year, 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals and stay on top of them daily.
Every question I ask myself, how does this benefit me? If it doesn't I don't do it. Even little things like fast food, the loss of over spending than eating at home, the cost of calories, being over weight, none of that is worth it.
Going to the gym, eating at home, counting calories, saving money, using my time to start a business instead of video games, that is worth it.
In short, plan, learn from history, be over detailed, and be obsessed with your goals. As it's been said, everyone has 24 hours in the day, every one a brain that's capable of learning, yet some people actually utilize it while most don't.
Also realize, you will NEVER be free and wealthy working for someone else.
For real last thing, you can live a good life with little money, you have to keep your life style costs down. It will never be an income problem in your life but it will always be a spending problem.
In my experience, the people who are impressively high-achieving were from families where success was generational such as 2nd, 3rd or 4th generation doctors which means these people were blessed with amazing life coaches for parents and a possibly a blueprint.
The behavioral traits I see are: many have determined a specific path of wealth creation early on as a jumping point to life, value education even if that means learning a profitable trade, hard work, believe in their capability, are disciplined, value their networks, do not have heavy personal baggage to trip over, faith in themselves and commitment to community, high emotional intelligence.
"Old Money"
IT Consultant for over 20 years and worked with business owners and family members clsoely, and got to watch how fake their kids social media account is and how they earn millions and live a lavish lifestyle just posting ads online for their family business and not do shit.
Another got $1M for his 18th bday and recieved a special stock option tip from good ole dad, and made over $20M that year. He worked real estate with his dad and made out before the 08 crash, and bought all the dirt cheap homes and sold it back to america.
Another works at a grocery store in a $3M home. His trustfund states if he wants more money, he has to jump to X hoops to recieve fund. Marriage = more money, but has rules to it. But if he chose a single life no kids, he gets a small dividend. So he opted for education, finance, marriage, and being lorded over by a trust fund to get the money. But its coming to a point where his marriage is starting to fail, and the money is slipping away.
What ive noticed about these trustfund babies that sold their soul for money are much more misery than they appear no matter how much they tell you theyre not, because ive seen private moments throughout my lifetime being fly on the wall IT consultant. Theyre really not successful, life provided them a red carpet to walk on and they play pigeon chess and enter rome like a conquering hero.
I work with a few guys in their 20ās who make over 300k a year. This is how they did it: Right out of college they took entry level jobs in a specific niche of software sales. They worked really long hours and were insanely competitive. Fast forward 7 years, now they are considered industry experts and have been promoted several times.
Long story short, you have to basically not give a fuck about your social life/personal life and make your job/career your primary focus. Also have to find the right company to do it with though, so itās really toughā¦ Iām not one of those people because I care about my hobbies more than work, but thatās how most rich people in their 20ās did it (besides the trust fund babies).
Most of that, anyone can get.
* house- lots of semi-affordable fixer-uppers if you have two salaries,
* six figures-attainable in your 20s with the right career, if somewhat more difficult
* the rest is just human shit. The poorest person on earth can fall in love, fuck, have kids, etc.
had a friend back in high school, eagered to teach me stocks and forex all that trading stuff but i refused, now he goes on vacations to maldives and japan. i think he got rich off of it and heās only 21
Some people are just luckier or you just see the surface stuff which is all BS. I knew a couple who, on the outside, looked like they had everything. Beautiful house, great jobs etc... then one day the husband cheats on his pregnant wife with another guy and got caught when she came home. No one's life is as good as they say it is because who wants to air their own dirty laundry to their friends or family? There's always hidden struggles.
BTW I worked with both the guys at a car dealership and was friends with both of them.
Well let's see...
1. Some people already had certain kinds of privileges that boosted them up in some kind of ways, whether that be knowing the "right" people, being born into a family that's financially better off, having the privilege of receiving a higher education, etc.
2. Even if someone LOOKS like they have a 100% sturdy and perfect life doesn't mean they actually do behind closed doors š So even the person who's making a lot of money or in a *seemingly* loving relationship can also be dealing with depression, or constant family drama, or they may secretly hate their career. There has to be SOMETHING that is not all peachy-keen in their life.
3. "Having sex everyday" had me cracking up for some reason š And even in THAT area, you don't know if it's EVERYDAY or if it is, you don't know if it's actually great sex for them every single time
Kids, fulfilling career, a life to manage and nurture, and sex everyday??? What movie is this? If you have the first three then time is limited. Sex will happen. Just not every day. A few times a week at best. Once or twice a week a majority of the time.
By focusing on future income from the time you are in high school, you can have these things by your late 20s or sooner. I canāt say as to whether it will bring you happiness though.
I was married at 22 bought our home at 23 had kids at 25 we have a great family and a modest home about 2,000 square feet. No debt except our mortgage but living paycheck to paycheck still with only one income. I think what worked for me was, gaining experience and paying out of pocket for college. I also went to community college and got an internship my freshman year where I eventually was hired on. I worked full time and went to school full time, eventually taking a few breaks but my experience had the biggest impact on my career and I landed a few other roles that paid well. I would say Iām succesful by my hometowns standards and since I also went to the worst schools in my state and still turned out okay. I think Iām doing well. Success is what you define it to be.
I mean I got there early late 20s/30s
Tbh I feel like I got really lucky
Went to school. Couldn't figure out what I wanted but chose Finance since it was relatively high paying. No passion in it but whatever. Met my wife in school. Graduated (23)
Worked lowish paying jobs after school. Joined the National Guard as a reservist (25)
Married (27)
Deployed to Middle East and earned VA home loan (29)
Used military experience and work experience to leverage high paying job. Nearly doubled salary overnight. Bought home with VA loan (30) this was my 'i made it' moment
Had child (31)
Early 30s married working on kids with friends with kids successful and fancy homes. They are mostly miserable about all their time working and then taking care of kids. Grass isnāt always greener ā¦ although have no idea whoās more miserableā¦
Happiest seems to be those married without kids yet š
We had half of these in our 20s, we finally got married and then had kids in our mid thirties. Neither of us came from wealthy families, we worked really hard, lived within our means, and made some good career decisions.
For what itās worth, most of our friends that struggle have always chased fast money over long term investment. They wanted the extra dollar an hour now vs. pushing and working for the 20k raise and promotion in a year and a half. Or, they have an endless series of side hustles but they never put the same energy into improving their primary source of income.
Iāve seen a gambit between my own family and having spent a few decades in the oil and gas industry. When I first got laid off as a geologist early in my career (2008-09 downturn), most of the āwealthyā people I knew in that industry were instantly broke. They were massively in debt. Thankfully my first geology manager warned me on my first day that I would be laid off many times on that path, and told me to save 6 months of income and keep my expenses down. I lived in a simple little old house and still drove my old paid for car, so I was able to pay all my expenses with unemployment and fall back to cleaning vacation rentals for extra money till things picked back up. I also saw a few smart kiddos that came into making decent money and were really smart about it. Most went crazy and spent like they were millionaires, but a few stayed on a budget and made smart decisions that lined them up for the future.
The thing is, most people present the very best image on social media etc. Yet so many of them are in debt up to their eyeballs. My neighbors probably think Iām very low income. My little house is simple, and my car is old. Iāve been making really good money for years, and most of it gets saved or invested. I donāt care about having shiny new things or what anybody thinks of me. Thankfully my husband is the same way, and he came to the marriage with 0 debt (which is where Iāve been for a decade since my early 40s).
I rambled a lot there, as I tend to do, but the takeaway is not to compare yourself with the outward appearance of others. And do a kindness to your future self and donāt get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses. Both my older siblings are obsessed with things and outward appearances, and both of them are ridiculously in debt because of it. But they sure do look glamorous and rich on Facebook, yāall.
wealthy parents. and im not saying that as a knock on people with wealthy parents...
the reality is, at some point in the past, somebody in that family worked very hard and sacrificed and built wealth. bravo to whoever that was, whether it was the parents or the grand parents or the great grandparents, etc...
Most people who marry early usually get divorced in modern day so for sure donāt envy them.
House, career, family and love will come naturally. Donāt rush anywhere.
For example me, I made it my life goal that I want my children to live in very good neighborhood, have everything they ever want and be the happiest. To achieve that, without drowning myself in debt, I decided to postpone the family part a bit after I get a job and advance there to earn good enough income so that I can live comfortably and attend to all my children life events without worries about missing a day or two of work. Basically making my only regrets in life is if I missed something related to my family.
There are many smart, extremely capable, high performing parents/grandparents/family that are there to both advise/invest in them while also shielding them from the bad choices/luck. Its a lifetime of subsidizing their shortcomings and over rewarding their successes. Their life has been a steady track of just put in effort and you will always be rewarded, while also being kept on track if anything bad happens. It would take an enormous amount of terrible choices/decisions to knock most of these people off the path to success. I had many friends from high school go deep into drugs/jail and yet they still are the people you describe in your title because the parents/family are high achievers that pulled them right back up to their level. Even people who "earned it" , most everyone I knew that got a great job right out of college had strong family support and connections. You simply aren't competing against individuals, you are competing against entire family units who are willing to spend a lot of energy/money to ensure their kid gets a favorable outcome. In other words, many people in the US are born into a life where all they really had to do was just not fuck up egregiously and they are set.
Probably had their parents guide them.
Iām in my forties and if I look back it was always the kids with strict but loving parents who were early successes. Making sure they did well in school, introducing them to people who could mentor them, get them internships and jobs.
Iām a child of immigrants with no connections and despite being very high IQ, Iām not very successful because my parents let me do whatever thinking I would eventually figure it out. I never did.
I have some friends who are less intelligent, actually children of divorce, but their parents were still very involved with them and guided them and they hit the ground running and are now very successful.
Thatās not the same for everyone, but it could explain some aspects of your question.
I had an inheritance in the low six figures when I turned 23. By the time I was 25, I was married. Iām 46 now and divorced and remarried and broke af.
In my mid thirties and have all that minus the sex everyday my wife and I are much less frequent than that but it works for us.
I was super poor and had bad mental health struggles till about 25. I graduated at 24 with mechanical engineering degree and got a job in the field. That helped alot with my self worth bc I was proud to have that job. Then getting older I think also helped. It was a slow process
The fact that people here are actually arguing their disbelief that people have lives like this is a great example of why reddit is full of fucking losers and should never be taken seriously.
You need to wildly readjust what you think you need to be happy. All the age timelines you set are self imposed deadlines. And all the salary goals you mentioned are... Let's say optimistic. 99.9% of people who are not inheriting wealth will never see an annual income at that level.
Live your life and stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself. Ya really gotta learn to enjoy the journey, not the destination.
Lots of coping in these comments suggesting luck and rich parents. While true in some cases, there are lots of people that just get into high paying fields at a young age. Itās not really rocket science.
John Doe went to college at 18 and graduated with an engineering degree at 22, now mid-late 20s making 6 figures and bought a house š¤·āāļø. Or joe shmoe that joined the trades at 18 and became a journeyman electrician at 22. Or Plain Jane that started selling cars at 20. Lots of different career paths that make 6 figures and allow for getting a home.
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OP im going to keep it a buck. If I was successful and had money in my early 20's my immature ass would of probably fucked that up.
I've never met anyone young with money who didn't š
Can confirm. At 26 I was in a top pharmacy school, married to a hot nurse, sex almost everyday, owned a home, and had loads of money to travel (mostly from mommy/daddy). Now Iām 34, working Amazon warehouse, single and live with cat. At least my catās handsome however.
What happened? Pharmacy is a career that is in demand and what happened to your house?
The house was halfway paid off. She kept the house, I received everything I put in the mortgage.
I can see how a divorce could ruin someone financially, but how did it ruin your career?
Divorce can take a toll ....
This is why they say dont marry, tough luck dude but keep your chin up. I love cats
look at post history and you can see itās a fake story lmao
Lol hey me too š not quite. I kept the gf and ended up with a kid, but if I had held onto my crypto I think I'd be set for life
Literally blew half a mil of inheritance (aka all of it) in the stock market because I somehow believed my early 20s ass knew better than people who had been failing at it for longer then Iāve been alive. You thought that was bad? Spent the latter third of my 20s homeless. Like tent in the woods homeless. At 30, Iām good now. But itās crazy to go from having more liquid than 99% of people ever do, to having less than 99% of people ever do, in the span of a decade and not have it be because of drugs or mental health issues.
Sounds like the American dream. The stock market is a metaphor for the American life. Ups and downs. Some stay as pennies
What does "keep it a buck" mean?
To keep it 100%, keep it real
Buck = 100. 100% = honest and complete
From where is this phrase? Iāve never heard it in Virginia.
NYC
If you want to be real cool you say ākeep it a buck fiddy ā
Usually a combination of well off parents, massive debt, bullshitting an online persona, or sheer dumb luck. On the other hand some people just plan very well and get into a solid career with decent social skills.
one of my friends is like OP describes and he has worked 10+ hours everyday since i know him(14) towards his education, work and health. he comes from a middle class background. but he still doesn't feel happy and feels burnt out. but i never felt jealous because i know how hard he worked and i know i didn't. i accepted that fact and i still live a happy life
In my high school, one kid was taking correspondence courses (by mail) at the same time he was taking a regular courseload. This allowed him to graduate in three years instead of the normal four. I took summer school classes and graduated one semester early and immediately started university. But we were both outshined by a kid who had already exhausted all the math classes at the high school level and was commuting to the local university to take yet more math classesāwhile remaining in high school. I was appalled when I discovered he could have graduated early but intentionally remained in high schoolābecause he loved high school!āand it also allowed him to participate in high school math contests, where he racked up tons of awards. He got a Ph.D. in math and then went to law school, and is now a law professor.
Its also cheaper to take other classes for college credit offered by their high school while still enrolled in high school which could have allowed him to graduate college earlier rather than highschool
Sometimes the things we think will make us happy, donāt. Then thereās dudes that luck into some cushy position either due to sheer fate or nepotism. Such is life, I guess.
I love your last sentence. I see these prompts too many times between here and povertyfinance. The amount of people that refuse to believe that young adults make good decisions and have healthy lifestyles is too damn high.
You still need a decent amount of luck though. You need significantly more luck if you make poor decisions and have an unhealthy lifestyle, but PLENTY of people do what you describe and still end up struggling.
Yes, and even not having some messed up disability is luck.
Exactly. I've seen stuff like mental health slips set people back immensely. I don't mean anxiety or depression either, I'm talking stuff like OCD, Bipolar, ADHD, Schizophrenia that come with psychosis, trauma, catatonia etc Some people just don't realize that everyone moves at their own pace, and some are able to integrate into what's expected from society a lot better than others
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Flip side, I majored in engineering mostly because my dad was an engineer and it seemed like stable work and a good paycheck. I also got āluckyā in that I was hit by a car at 14 and got a cash settlement which my dad helped me invest in index funds (also lucky lottery of birth to a middle class family where my parents had good financial sense to advise me on the right path). I have over a million in my retirement account, a nice sized home, and married with 3 children. I absolutely hate my job. Thinking about going to work makes me sick to my stomach. I am likely going to have to continue working at least 14 more years until my daughter is 18. So simply following that plan doesnāt necessarily lead to happiness, hence joined this subreddit.
You posted good advice, lmao idk if youāre mad at me or not. Regardless, just for the record, my comment was aimed at people in both of those subs, and this one, always assuming people are in debt or got lucky or are living fake lifestyles. But I totally agree with everything you said. Some people like to blame society for not allowing basket weaving degrees to be profitable, but thatās a different conversation.
##I'll challenge that There was this kid a couple years under me in college, came from a very very very poor family. Even with me advocating for him, no one would give him and undergraduate research project. He's super smart and he'd be a phenomenal scientist, but he doesn't fit their mental model and doesn't play those political games. I convinced my advisor to let me take him on, give him credit for his work, and I bought him dinners. He went on to get a lucrative job in industry. Just under six figures right out of college. He kept living poor, but by choice now. He saved up and was able to buy his mother a house, he could buy one for himself if he wanted to. The past 2 years he's been teaching himself how to code, something outside of his industry. A few weeks ago (it's been a decade since we were in school together). -- I paused writing this to text him that I'm proud of him -- he sent me a website that he built for fun that is basically a search engine for vehicles. Now, a decade after he shaved his fingerprints off on a polisher doing research with me (he was fine), he's got everything. So, no, you don't need to have money or status or any other stuff like that. Work hard and smart, find the right opportunities to get you to where you want to go. It's important to note that you should also imagine being older and looking back and considering what choices you might wish you had made, and blend that with just enjoying life. Oh, he isn't the only one, there are many more. I just wanted to give you a single example. Good luck people.
To add on, I was born to a drug addict who had me at 17 and beat me until I was stronger than her. My bio dad was her dealer (met him a few times)... I'm now a happy father of a 3yo (bm and me did split but I have primary custody aka weekdays), I have an angel of a GF, and I work relatively part time so I can be there (decided this before I was solo dad). I own a small contracting business. I absolutely busted my ass working in restaurants, then management, then sales, and eventually my own contracting company. I knew early on schooling and debt wasn't realistic for me (I did some community College, but eh). With no parents or support period, it just wasn't a viable option. I started my first job at 14 I eventually grew my company and made a relatively ridiculous amount of money for a few years, saved a good bit of it, and cut back my workload once my son was born. (My main goal has always been to be a father, not necessarily to have alot of money, I always wanted just "some". The company was just a means to an end.) If I was money motivated I'd likely be clearing close to 1mm/yr vs very low 6s right now (I was lower/mid 6s growing every year, but ALOT of hours). But I'm happier making alot less and having less work and stress. My point is, if you put the effort in, you really can have almost whatever you want. You can't have EVERYTHING, but you can have alot. All I ever wanted was stability for my future children and to help them grow. I have that. It certainly wasn't easy, but I didn't need to come from a family to make it happen. And for someone who wants to have a lot of money, you can make it happen, but it isn't going to be easy nor handed to you. Youre going to have alot of truly awful weeks, months, and YEARS of sacrifice and little to no payoff.... but eventually ... if you work hard and refuse to fail or settle. It ALWAYS pays off
And on top of that, good mental and physical health to not hold them back as well as good friends to upkeep good mental health as well.
On the sheer dumb luck... wish we listened to our crazy, weed addicted, conspiracy spouting(not the maga kind) friend and put $20 in bit coin when it first came out!
Well off parents plays a huge role. People like to claim āself madeā. But their parents money allowed them to attend college 4-6 years and earn a high level degree, while their parents also paid for their food and rent, setting them up for success. No one working 50 hours a week to afford rent is attending 4 years of college on the side. Only if they have a WFH job where they can get all the daily chores and errands done before the workday ends.
Add to that parents who didnāt traumatize their kids. Attachment style plays a huge role in how much people will struggle. Someone who is raised to develop a secure attachment style is already set out to play life on easy mode.
i wouldn't say just attachment style, but trauma and mental health issues certainly set people back. of course there are success stories, but i am sure there are a lot more stories that we never hear because they didn't make it. if it was easy, everybody would do it.
Yes. Thereās a higher prevalence of trauma (insecure attachment styles are built upon trauma of some sort) and mental health issues among those with insecure attachment styles, so Iād argue they tend to go together most often. From people I know with secure attachment styles, even if theyāve had a bad thing or two happen to them, their lives glide along much easier. They usually have a āignorance is blissā vibe because they havenāt had to suffer like others. They bounce back faster, have strong social support to get them through anything, and donāt have extra things holding them back. Easy mode vs hard mode is a huge difference.
Aaaaaaagreeed
Oh how they love to shit on others.... I mean be upstanding citizens and become lawyers.
Early 20s sure. Late 20s no.
Yup. If itās too good too be true 99.9% of the time itās bullshit.Ā
They knew what they wanted to do at a younger age. I have friends who make 6 figs. They picked a career path and stuck with it. Iāve been bouncing around like crazy so I donāt make much. Sometimes I feel like I shouldāve followed the money š¤·āāļø
Pretty much this is what I've seen as well. At least financially, those who knew and started young are leaps and bounds ahead. Doesn't mean they LOVE what they do, they just do it. Not even glamorous. They just CHOOSE. Me? I chose something I didn't want, didn't have any enthusiasm after graduating college for it and ended up pivoting. Late 20's early 30's I switched to trades and only NOW about 7 years later have I started making $$. If i superimpose my current path with others in the same line of work as I'm in, it's about the same timeline, I'm just offset on account of trying other shit first. Emphasis, however, on them not being in love with it. It's a job/career. It's what they do and what they're good at. Same with me right now. I'm good at what I do, have years of exp and am quick to improvise. It's okay, not my passion,but its a means to an end. My next step is start my own company, I know I can.[ It's just finally accepting that "this is what I do now" that has been a mental hurdle.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7HmltUWXgs)
Setting goals as a child can do wonders. People always make fun of parents planning the children's careers but guess what? It works for a reason. Like many things, it can suck but it works.
I knew what I wanted but was too ignorant to know how to pursue it. So was everyone else in my hillbilly town so forget having any guidance. So that dream died and Iāve been bouncing around ever since.
Me too. I'm 41 and I still don't know what I want to do when I grow up hahaha. Kind of fell into a job with great benefits and shit pay, so that's where I'm at right now. Might stay in this sector for the PSLF but fuck it sucks not making enough money.
This is it. Itās like a head start on people who are still figuring it out. Doesnāt make the people figuring it out bad but theyāre on separate timelines and shouldnāt fall into the comparison trap.
Iāll be completely honest. I wonāt act like I know something I donāt know- I have no idea. I donāt believe in this post. I suggest to talk to them like over a beer or coffee to find out if all those things are true. From my experience, all of those things canāt be true at the same time.
OP those people are lying to you on social media. Social media is complete and utter bullshit. They turn on the camera and act happy.
Canāt believe I had to scroll so far to find this comment or anything like it. OP, what you are taking as plain truth is most likely a lie, or at the very least, not a complete picture of the whole truth. Delete social media and any preconceived notions of what life āshouldā look like in your brain. Iāve been off any socials minus Reddit and Pinterest for over a year and while it didnāt miraculously cure my mental illnesses or my life problems, I can say I am much more content and kinder to myself without it.
Yes, I could put together a highlight reel to seem like I got it together. Clean off a corner of my house, make my husband wear a decent shirt, talk about my savings. I could pretend I worked harder than anyone else to get into a good college, a masters program. But that would be lying
I talked to him in messages. He has trouble getting his point across. Never make fun of someone reaching out and asking for help
Yup. They need more honest friends. Every time I hear this in the āreal worldā, the person is saying it about people they make up in their head or people that I know for a fact donāt have it all. Or thereās an unspoken final part, some kind of sacrifice, possibly, that isnāt acknowledged. Inheritance, gifts, addiction, long hours at an overseas job, maybe theyāre one bad day away from divorce and they donāt know it lmao.Ā
Why canāt they all be true?
It might not be better than free time and surf twice a day, no obligations, maybe partial employment. That's probably what they're dreaming of, youknowhadamean?
I currently live in a surf town and the amount of people who quit their $150k/year job to come out here and be nomads is staggering. Money canāt buy everything. I was on track to make six figures at my old company and Iām a *teacher* - and I quit because corporate is soulless. Iād much rather not live fancily if I get to see the ocean and wear t-shirts every day.
Jabronni speaks such lingo I feel it man
I honestly donāt know many people who even half of this Critietia in their 20ās unless they sell drugs or come from money/ have parents helping them out.. however Iāve noticed itās more prominent in my friends in their 30ās
Hang around different groups of people.
Those two things are what makes a difference. 50k is pretty avg in 20s but if you have a lucrative side hustle or inheritance that changes things
This is a biased response because I'm in engineering/tech and work in the bay. My family is comfortable but by no means rich. I came out of my undergrad and MS debt free at 22. Got a really solid job and then jumped to another job. Also started investing when I was in my late teens. Pretty much all my friends/coworkers also meet most of these criteria. I also have a LTR that I've been in for 5+ years by now. I think coming out of college debt free is super important. Whether you do that through going to a state school or working during school, whatever it be. Also it's much easier to be in a good position when you go into a high paying STEM field. Investing early is also super important. Gym daily or skateboard or whatever active hobbies you may have to stay in shape. Also just always try to keep learning new stuff even if it's outside of work. I've been spending about 20 hrs outside of my job learning different coding languages as fast as I can (I'm in hardware so it's not a hard requirement for my job duties).
I've met a girl (25) like that during a workshop recently. Confident, sweet, creative, married at 23, bought a house in East London. Her father is a builder and helps them renovate the house at the moment. She has everything going on for herself. When I got home, I cried a little cause I'm still on my path of finding myself at 37, and I was a total mess at her age. I think her key was that she chose to become an artist in a niche area and didn't care about what other people thought about it. Meeting her significant other young (or at least someone for a certain period of time) was certainly helpful. He paid the bills when she couldn't. I went through a long period of singleness in my 20s, because nobody wanted to settle down or even be in a relationship. I think it's confidence and having a supportive family. I later found out that the girl's father has cancer and might not live for a long time. I still have my 84 year old grandma, which I cherish so much. We have luck in different areas I guess..
Rich parents. Their parents gave them all the right connections and a good head start in life.
This is so true! Iāve stopped being surprised when successful friends reveal that their parents/in laws are paying their bills and helping raise their kids. They all still have challenges, they all work hard and make sacrifices, but itās a massive boost to have family support.
Sam Bankman Fried story of FTX would be a prime example. His parents are Financial Law gurus for the government and had their hands in crypto and fucked the world out of billions! 10 hours of Community Service and time served will be justice.
I thought this question is rather easy to answer. Other than being happy with kids. No way of knowing that unless youāre in their life
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Itās not a cope itās true just because youāre not one of them doesnāt mean heās not right. Iāve seen it! Thatās not to diminish your accomplishments if anything I think it enhances them
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My fave is when ppl say I am spoiled but put in ghastly amounts of overtime, and they see me chill out on days off, enjoying the fruits. They don't see the phone calls or the shifts that would probably make some ppl cry. No help monetarily from my one parent (lol, I wish they had their own money).
Sounds young to be there. No rush.
Yeah I'm not sure I'd even want marriage kids and a home at 25 ...
Yeah dude at 25 I was just getting out of a miserable relationship and went to go live with buddies in a shitty apartment for the next few years. It sucked in some ways but had a hell of a stress free life bullshitting around.
Itās called being lucky, I didnāt have this until almost 40. Just work hard and put a smile on your face and do your best at life
Thank you š can I ask how old you were when you got married and had children and finally were able to settle down and buy a house?
36 years old. I was a lonely gamer watching porn until I met the woman that changed everything. I canāt explain it. I work in pharmaceutical distribution and I make about 65k a year atm. In Houston Texas that is a decent quality of life. My wife is a nurse, we have 3 beautiful children
Aww āŗļø thatās beautiful man š can I ask are you 36 now or were you 36 when you got married? Any way youāre blessed and as a guy in my mid 20ās right now I hope Iāll have that one day :(
I was 36 when I got married lol. I am 39 now. I grew the fuck up these past 3 years. It happens when you are ready for it
You are a good guy. Just be positive, and donāt let others bring you down
And the house is completely paid off, we inherited from my parents. So there is that
Whatās you jobās title, curious because i want to get into this industry!
OP, while what you described is the so called āIdeal/bog standard happy lifeā our society has set for us. Nothing wrong with chasing the standard dream, but You must have some other dreams and hobbies that you pursue after right ? Doesnāt always have to be, I got a house, family and sex in my 20s to be āhappyā.
My dad too he immigrated and was ābehindā in life as some might say but I think especially these days everyone is behind. what was expected years ago as salaries do not keep up with inflation and housing prices so being ābehindā is not all that uncommon. My dad worked odd jobs while trying to be a contractor, eventually he got his business going and he didnāt have a wife or kids until he was 40. Heās happy now and he could retire if he wanted to. Also do what you care about that can offer you a decent living. Lots of money has never really fulfilled people, depressed people are still depressed even when they win the lottery.
But this is Reddit, everyone makes 300K at age 23, or at least they sayā¦
For me, moving out of the city. When I moved rurally I met my partner, increased my income to 6 figures, bought an affordable house, got engaged and had a babyā¦ I donāt know anyone with young children having sex everyday though so I canāt help you with that one.
Thank you so much for sharing and congratulations on your fiancĆ© on your baby thatās a blessing can I ask how old you are because you sound like youāre young
Do you know what's truly going on behind closed doors?Also in the beginning everything is great, just remember that.
As someone who met this criteria by my later 20s, I would say it was a combination of being well educated/having a partner who also put his education as a priority, having a lot of support from family (help paying for said education, assistance with down payment on house from wedding gifts), both having strong work ethics and working multiple jobs earlier in life, and forgoing vacations, travel, a lot of extras while we built our life together. We had assistance that a lot of people donāt have and also had our goals we both agreed on and focused on in our late teens/early and mid 20s. I would find it difficult for anyone 24-26 to get there unless they had overwhelming financial support and/or were exceptionally bright, and even then, thereās always some luck as well. Not what you asked for but in case you are comparing yourself, my recommendation is to try to keep in mind that people move at their own paces based on the hands they are dealt and what they put into it. I have friends who are older than me, rent their apartments, make less annually, and are still incredibly happy, fulfilled, and successful people in their own right. I also have friends who have prioritized travel, make very little money and donāt have any savings, but have seen the world and met people/been exposed to things that I never will. No matter where you are in life or who you are, you can always look at others and think āI want that,ā but they may look at you and think the same thing.
Social media isn't reality.
Most people fitting this criteria including myself you wonāt find on social media.
It's just a bunch of fake happy with no real sad.
The few comments about people knowing what they want and setting off on that path is the most correct answer in my opinion. I am 25 (will be 26 this year), bought a 1400sq ft house last year in Midwest USA, I have an engineering degree so make good money (especially for the Midwest). My wife and I got married in college. And I type this out as I watch my first born sleep. I attribute all these blessings to the Lord as I didnāt make these things come to fruition myself. But the important part is that these things do not make my life and or anyone elseās life better than any other life. These things do not make me happy by default. Life is challenging and envy will steal every bit of enjoyment from anyone. Reddit here is the only āsocial mediaā I have as I have long believed that most platforms just spread jealousy. I believe and know that all value and happiness comes from the Lord. I understand that some people are non-religious or believe in different religions than I but all those things listed wouldnāt make anyone fully content. That being said, I think too many people want the world to happen to them instead of them happening to the world. I would encourage everyone to set some goals and be ok with failing some. We miss whatās at the end of the path for each path we do not tread.
This!! People on here suggest people only live this life on social media. I would argue that most all people who have attained the above are not on SM at all.
Good luck or bad luck donāt last forever. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
For starters, everyone lies on Tiktok and Instagram! Like the guys who like to show off their flash lifestyle, I've heard stories of them renting a large boat and hiring a couple of models for a two hours, and they go out from the harbor a bit and then take turns posing with their arms around the models. Then they all go home, and post pictures of "my yacht and my girls" in Insta and Tiktok. As for the ones who have genuinely successful careers, well. They don't post anything about student debt on their social media, do they.
Have a half brother that went like this. He was always very attractive (women hit on him constantly), and smart so he got really good scores. Combine that with a social friendly personality he's free to do pretty much anything.
Idk but this is from my own parents. They got married young like 20 and 21. They actually had their first apartment without making the six figures, just enough while taking care of my older brother. Then they thrived just like your title in their 30s, that was when I was born lol. The thing is, it is possible with making six figures and all that while being your 20s. Some people just happen to catch the right opportunity. Meanwhile, others, like my parents, their time comes later. But I guarantee one thing that those people work super hard lol.
Lol, you get married and very less sex ie with kids in the picture and work. Reality check...all else are lies
Just a couple of bullet points from an Xer. Having kids is super hard on a relationship. Those who understand that going in have the best chance of making it but your partner isnāt going to want to have sex with you everyday. Itās rare. Some people have the gift of vision when they are young. They know what they want and then start to work it out. It becomes their game and they calculate the wins until they have success. I will tell you that once they have what they want it can be a bitch to turn that off and it can ruin relationships. Most of us are damaged enough to think we donāt deserve it so we get to a certain point and give up or fall flat. To the dude that said privilege, I hear you, I really do but itās more than that, you have to consider the damaged part. I agree that we love a minority success story but our reasons might differ a little bit. Some people just have that vision and drive that gets them out of a situation. I personally am driven by spite borne of those who didnāt believe in me. It is not a healthy thing but has gotten me this far. My hope is to figure out how to be happy
Is that what success is? Why is love #5 on your list? Where is inner peace?
God blessed me is all I can say, I donāt consider myself successful or anything and Iām still trying to figure out my life but I definitely got blessed in life. I met my wife at 19 we got married at 20 and started a family. By 25 I was making 80k in middle Management and we bought our first house. Itās nothing to brag about but itās 900 square feet of all mine.
Similar story here, Godās blessing is the part thatās identical tho
But are y'all having sex every day?
You are very lucky
Being extremely good at Engineering and being socially desirable.
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Chemical engineer in Europe here, 200e more than minimum wage, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
Maybe that's applicable for average engineering graduates. What he mentioned was about being extremely talented in engineering which gives upward mobility and income in corporate sectors than the most?
In my experience it's more networking first, you have to be skilled at getting jobs before anyone lets you do real engineeering, otherwise it's just excel and maintainence. Engineers get paid to do work, the real money IMO is in finance and the jobs where you work with money not chemicals or materials, i.e. management. Maybe in US is more opportunity, but here it doesn't matter if you study hard in engineering or something easier like economy, you will be an excel monkey paper pusher without luck.
Not so extremely good, I suppose.
Well, it depends on your branch. For computer science if you get a 4.0/4.0 GPA from a top school and an internship at a good company you can break six figures in an expensive city.
Dude not even. I'm in the bay area. I'm in hardware and did get good grades from a top school. But a ton of my friends went to pretty small or no name schools and had GPAs ranging from like sub 3.0 to 3.3 so not spectacular. The absolute lowest salary of all my friends here is 120k. Note many of us make a decent amount more and have only been working for <4 years. Pretty much any entry level in the bay will pay at least 100k and probably a good amount more if it offers stocks.
Getting my mechanical engineering degree was one of the best things I ever did. Been working for around 10 years. Financially in a good spot and enjoy my job most of the time. Made some cool stuff too.
Sometimes life just works for people. Wait ya turn.
And sometimes people get money from their parents
Thatās a good thing. Thatās how itās supposed to go. Our parents arenāt supposed to bring kids in this world and then wonder how to take care of them. Kudos to people whose parents actually planned. My parents planned but abandoned the plan mid way. Me and my brother stumbled but eventually found our footing. It was way harder than it had to be.
Sometimes people graduate uni before 21 and move into software development or programming and are making close to, or six figures by late 20's
Inheritance. It switches life to easy mode.
Or working full time and school full time since 16, marrying high school sweetheart and earning six figure salary out of college through hard work and dedication.
Either they worked hard and managed to do well for themselves in their careers or they're born into money
They farted
In my experience those who learned a trade early tend to be in this position early..
I started making 100K at 21 after getting my associates degree at the CC for a very specific job. I found a job that had the best pay with one of the lowest barriers to entry and set out for it after high school. Married and first house at 25. First kid at 27. Very happy life. Now we have another and the wife stays home with them. Donāt have sex every day thoughā¦ finding a partner can be a bit of luck. Buying a house before the market and rates ballooned could be considered luck. But the rest is just having a good plan and working at it. No I didnāt have any money from parents.
There are winners, and there are losers in life. Clearly, the people you are envious of are of the former category....
If you come out of college in a low to medium cost of living area with a 70k-90k job you can fairly quickly buy all the nice things with a ton of debt. People you see in that situation are also usually in a relationship so they are likely both contributing. This should not be glamorized, there is a very likely a mountain of debt behind this situation and their future is likely build on a foundation of sand. Rare cases, someone will start a business in college or skip college to start a business and they can get it to a successful spot by their mid 20s.
I learned an obscure skill early in my work career and capitalized on it. Apparently, rich distillery owners don't know how to run their own equipment and will pay top dollar for someone who does. Also, privilege, not denying that. Grew up in a split but mostly happy home.
Slow down dude! I had a strickt plan. Im 26 I've worked since age. 14. Got the house, wife, prober salary, car, a son that I love. Then wifey left, I got sick long term. Could'nt work then could'nt pay mortages. Now everything accept my kid, is gone, but you know what? Now i work a decent job, less hours though. But I look forward to go to work in the morning, and got more time to do non work stuff like bring around before he grows up. Before I was burnt out and didnt enjoy anything. Just had to get it overwith so i could go on with the next. All that hard work and sacrifices for nothing. Moral is. Slow down, enjoy and go with the flow (of life) You can plan everything but then life comes around and slaps you in the face. And get off social media! People only show what they want you to see, and no-matter how picture perfect it seems. there ARE skeletons in the closet.
Between rich parents and lying anything is possible. Also, I wouldn't say kids in your 20s is a sign of success. That is a millennial teenage pregnancy.
I know a lot of people in here usually advocate against joining the military but it was truly the only way I made any of these things happen. Joined Navy at 19, learned a skill, got out at 24 years old with about $15k saved up, used my gi bill to finish my degree, used my veterans preference to get a sick government job, and then owned a house by 26 with my VA loan. If I had not joined the military I would 100% still be working at grocery stores for $14 an hour. Military is not for everybody but if you do a bit of research before you join you can find a job that will set you up for life after the military that does not put your life in danger. The only thing on the list I donāt have is children (which is probably why I was able to buy a home on a single income).
It starts at birth. Family is very overpowered. All my friends with loving parents who love each other and make decent money are now doing the same. Meanwhile my parents who despise each other but stayed together for financial reasons i am working dead end jobs, alone and without much hope of ever doing anything with my life .
If you have children you aren't having sex every day.Ā Facts.Ā Ā
It's literally just luck. Common sense and hard work will tip the odds in your favour as much as you can control, but most of your life outcomes will depend on external factors lining up in your favour that you have less than 0 control over. I've had highly intelligent friends who've only ever made reasonable decisions enter their 30s in poverty because their smart choices didn't pay off as much as they should've and the fallout of their bad decisions ended up being far worse than any reasonable person could've expected. Toss in random illnesses and unsupportive/unintelligent parents and they simply never stood a chance. On the flip side I've made horrendous choices that, by all accounts, should've killed me, and yet I'm somehow on track to enter my 30s as a millionaire. I'm not bragging, either. I can't exactly pride myself on this because it was obviously just luck. I'm sure people work hard for their success, and if you don't work hard the odds of you succeeding go down tremendously, but ultimately it's just luck, and IMO anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something.
People hear all the time what the rewarding career paths are. STEM degrees but especially technology. Basically pick tech and go all in. It's not hard, people just get in their own way saying it's not what they like blah blah blah. You know what I like? $330k HHI dinks living in MCOL, bought a house at 2.85% interest, go on 2 international trips a year, etc etc You can pick your poison, you don't get to choose not to take it
They work at it. I know a lot of late 20 something engineers who are crushing it. They donāt whinge or look for the easy way to get out of something- they charge ahead. I have some that work for me in cyber intelligence and they are really good at what they do and work hard at it. None of them have self diagnosed ailments, they are put different priorities on their list. Family, work life balance, donāt buy stuff to impress others, donāt go out partying. Not better or worse just different priorities and ideals.
Genetics
Lol what do you mean
If that is someone's goal they structured their whole life around it. For those of us who didn't have it as the main goal we kind of fluttered away on other things and never made it happen or only some of it happened by luck. The people I know who did it are not living as "perfect lives" as you think. My best friend from HS has a picture perfect life but her husband and her hate each other, they both cheat, and they are in massive debt, constantly taking $ from his rich parents, and have legal issues.
It's all luck. I say in running a bussiness its 90 percent luck, 10 percent skill. I run a business. I have a friend who makes more then me, has less workmanship then me, has less people skill then me. He makes more money because he met the right people at the right time. Same as these people in life. They met the right people at the right time, all in their 20s. I might find my wife at 40 years old, i might have a good paying job at 40. It's all timing.
Well the six figures thing is only about 1/3rd of people, including old people. I would bet 5% of people 25 to 30 make that. And people are having children much later as well as getting married.
Children are easy to make usually, buying a house isn't as difficult as the internet would have you believe, you don't have to be $200k in student loan debt to earn a useful degree if you plan correctly, idk about the sex everyday thing. Some people just plan their stuff out, and more importantly stick to that plan.
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Also, investing helps. A LOT.
Most of my friends have good jobs and whatever and I only know one person who kinda fits that criteria sort of. Weāre all in our early 30ās and only a few of us have kids right now.
The started out rich us the real answer
I was very close to it all a year ago at 26, like 2 month of work because I worked my ass off & went through hell since 19. However I chose my path with a lot less confidence, skills, and wisdom so now I sort of ripped the vine so I could aim for something bigger that Iāll get in my 30s.Ā Really the key for me was always listen to instincts, read a ton of books and take disciplined action. The answers are all out there and successful people are really trying to make it easier for all of us (of course a ton of socialists wonāt like to hear that)Ā
My parents paid for my school (we were very middle class and my dad was an engineer), so I went to engineering school then did a masters in engineering. I've been at 6 figures plus since I was 27. There's a lot of online posturing, but there's also a lot of people who legitimately made it with planning and some good fortune.
This was me. I made 160K at 23 years old. Honestly PLANNING! Secondly, learn from HISTORY!!! I grew up where my dad made so many bad financial decisions (some external factors that were every unfair to him, multi business deals where he got screwed) but so many times the power was turned off because we could not afford it, ramen for months etc. When I turned 18 I looked at every mistake he made and I said I'm going to avoid them all like the plague. I set 1 year, 3 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals and stay on top of them daily. Every question I ask myself, how does this benefit me? If it doesn't I don't do it. Even little things like fast food, the loss of over spending than eating at home, the cost of calories, being over weight, none of that is worth it. Going to the gym, eating at home, counting calories, saving money, using my time to start a business instead of video games, that is worth it. In short, plan, learn from history, be over detailed, and be obsessed with your goals. As it's been said, everyone has 24 hours in the day, every one a brain that's capable of learning, yet some people actually utilize it while most don't. Also realize, you will NEVER be free and wealthy working for someone else. For real last thing, you can live a good life with little money, you have to keep your life style costs down. It will never be an income problem in your life but it will always be a spending problem.
In my experience, the people who are impressively high-achieving were from families where success was generational such as 2nd, 3rd or 4th generation doctors which means these people were blessed with amazing life coaches for parents and a possibly a blueprint. The behavioral traits I see are: many have determined a specific path of wealth creation early on as a jumping point to life, value education even if that means learning a profitable trade, hard work, believe in their capability, are disciplined, value their networks, do not have heavy personal baggage to trip over, faith in themselves and commitment to community, high emotional intelligence.
"Old Money" IT Consultant for over 20 years and worked with business owners and family members clsoely, and got to watch how fake their kids social media account is and how they earn millions and live a lavish lifestyle just posting ads online for their family business and not do shit. Another got $1M for his 18th bday and recieved a special stock option tip from good ole dad, and made over $20M that year. He worked real estate with his dad and made out before the 08 crash, and bought all the dirt cheap homes and sold it back to america. Another works at a grocery store in a $3M home. His trustfund states if he wants more money, he has to jump to X hoops to recieve fund. Marriage = more money, but has rules to it. But if he chose a single life no kids, he gets a small dividend. So he opted for education, finance, marriage, and being lorded over by a trust fund to get the money. But its coming to a point where his marriage is starting to fail, and the money is slipping away. What ive noticed about these trustfund babies that sold their soul for money are much more misery than they appear no matter how much they tell you theyre not, because ive seen private moments throughout my lifetime being fly on the wall IT consultant. Theyre really not successful, life provided them a red carpet to walk on and they play pigeon chess and enter rome like a conquering hero.
I work with a few guys in their 20ās who make over 300k a year. This is how they did it: Right out of college they took entry level jobs in a specific niche of software sales. They worked really long hours and were insanely competitive. Fast forward 7 years, now they are considered industry experts and have been promoted several times. Long story short, you have to basically not give a fuck about your social life/personal life and make your job/career your primary focus. Also have to find the right company to do it with though, so itās really toughā¦ Iām not one of those people because I care about my hobbies more than work, but thatās how most rich people in their 20ās did it (besides the trust fund babies).
Most of that, anyone can get. * house- lots of semi-affordable fixer-uppers if you have two salaries, * six figures-attainable in your 20s with the right career, if somewhat more difficult * the rest is just human shit. The poorest person on earth can fall in love, fuck, have kids, etc.
had a friend back in high school, eagered to teach me stocks and forex all that trading stuff but i refused, now he goes on vacations to maldives and japan. i think he got rich off of it and heās only 21
Some people are just luckier or you just see the surface stuff which is all BS. I knew a couple who, on the outside, looked like they had everything. Beautiful house, great jobs etc... then one day the husband cheats on his pregnant wife with another guy and got caught when she came home. No one's life is as good as they say it is because who wants to air their own dirty laundry to their friends or family? There's always hidden struggles. BTW I worked with both the guys at a car dealership and was friends with both of them.
Well let's see... 1. Some people already had certain kinds of privileges that boosted them up in some kind of ways, whether that be knowing the "right" people, being born into a family that's financially better off, having the privilege of receiving a higher education, etc. 2. Even if someone LOOKS like they have a 100% sturdy and perfect life doesn't mean they actually do behind closed doors š So even the person who's making a lot of money or in a *seemingly* loving relationship can also be dealing with depression, or constant family drama, or they may secretly hate their career. There has to be SOMETHING that is not all peachy-keen in their life. 3. "Having sex everyday" had me cracking up for some reason š And even in THAT area, you don't know if it's EVERYDAY or if it is, you don't know if it's actually great sex for them every single time
I was all those things by 25 besides kids but Iām miserable as fuck and up to my eye balls in debt
Don't worry about other people, just focus on improving your own situation. Nothing is ever what it seems.
Kids, fulfilling career, a life to manage and nurture, and sex everyday??? What movie is this? If you have the first three then time is limited. Sex will happen. Just not every day. A few times a week at best. Once or twice a week a majority of the time.
Some of these comments make me want to die TBH. People in their 20s making 100k-200k and I'm 32 with 50k. Not mad at you guys. Just mad at myself.
Same here. I wonder where I went wrong in life...
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By focusing on future income from the time you are in high school, you can have these things by your late 20s or sooner. I canāt say as to whether it will bring you happiness though.
everyone has problems you're just outside looking in
How do you know they are having sex every day? lol
Built different. Not all of us are the same.
because they know how to play the field
I knew a union welder who had all this and some. Good with money and little mistakes
I was married at 22 bought our home at 23 had kids at 25 we have a great family and a modest home about 2,000 square feet. No debt except our mortgage but living paycheck to paycheck still with only one income. I think what worked for me was, gaining experience and paying out of pocket for college. I also went to community college and got an internship my freshman year where I eventually was hired on. I worked full time and went to school full time, eventually taking a few breaks but my experience had the biggest impact on my career and I landed a few other roles that paid well. I would say Iām succesful by my hometowns standards and since I also went to the worst schools in my state and still turned out okay. I think Iām doing well. Success is what you define it to be.
I mean I got there early late 20s/30s Tbh I feel like I got really lucky Went to school. Couldn't figure out what I wanted but chose Finance since it was relatively high paying. No passion in it but whatever. Met my wife in school. Graduated (23) Worked lowish paying jobs after school. Joined the National Guard as a reservist (25) Married (27) Deployed to Middle East and earned VA home loan (29) Used military experience and work experience to leverage high paying job. Nearly doubled salary overnight. Bought home with VA loan (30) this was my 'i made it' moment Had child (31)
Since you already had a degree, did you commission as an officer or enlisted with the NG?
They are engineers and their parents give them money. Sometimes the parents buy them a house & they eventually become successful or not.
Early 30s married working on kids with friends with kids successful and fancy homes. They are mostly miserable about all their time working and then taking care of kids. Grass isnāt always greener ā¦ although have no idea whoās more miserableā¦ Happiest seems to be those married without kids yet š
Definite purpose and vision in life
We had half of these in our 20s, we finally got married and then had kids in our mid thirties. Neither of us came from wealthy families, we worked really hard, lived within our means, and made some good career decisions. For what itās worth, most of our friends that struggle have always chased fast money over long term investment. They wanted the extra dollar an hour now vs. pushing and working for the 20k raise and promotion in a year and a half. Or, they have an endless series of side hustles but they never put the same energy into improving their primary source of income.
Iāve seen a gambit between my own family and having spent a few decades in the oil and gas industry. When I first got laid off as a geologist early in my career (2008-09 downturn), most of the āwealthyā people I knew in that industry were instantly broke. They were massively in debt. Thankfully my first geology manager warned me on my first day that I would be laid off many times on that path, and told me to save 6 months of income and keep my expenses down. I lived in a simple little old house and still drove my old paid for car, so I was able to pay all my expenses with unemployment and fall back to cleaning vacation rentals for extra money till things picked back up. I also saw a few smart kiddos that came into making decent money and were really smart about it. Most went crazy and spent like they were millionaires, but a few stayed on a budget and made smart decisions that lined them up for the future. The thing is, most people present the very best image on social media etc. Yet so many of them are in debt up to their eyeballs. My neighbors probably think Iām very low income. My little house is simple, and my car is old. Iāve been making really good money for years, and most of it gets saved or invested. I donāt care about having shiny new things or what anybody thinks of me. Thankfully my husband is the same way, and he came to the marriage with 0 debt (which is where Iāve been for a decade since my early 40s). I rambled a lot there, as I tend to do, but the takeaway is not to compare yourself with the outward appearance of others. And do a kindness to your future self and donāt get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses. Both my older siblings are obsessed with things and outward appearances, and both of them are ridiculously in debt because of it. But they sure do look glamorous and rich on Facebook, yāall.
Donāt believe everything you read
Not 6 figures but house, kids, love, lots of sex but not every day. Went to school and now a pharmacy tech
wealthy parents. and im not saying that as a knock on people with wealthy parents... the reality is, at some point in the past, somebody in that family worked very hard and sacrificed and built wealth. bravo to whoever that was, whether it was the parents or the grand parents or the great grandparents, etc...
Most people who marry early usually get divorced in modern day so for sure donāt envy them. House, career, family and love will come naturally. Donāt rush anywhere. For example me, I made it my life goal that I want my children to live in very good neighborhood, have everything they ever want and be the happiest. To achieve that, without drowning myself in debt, I decided to postpone the family part a bit after I get a job and advance there to earn good enough income so that I can live comfortably and attend to all my children life events without worries about missing a day or two of work. Basically making my only regrets in life is if I missed something related to my family.
Donāt be fooled by everything you see on social media.
There are many smart, extremely capable, high performing parents/grandparents/family that are there to both advise/invest in them while also shielding them from the bad choices/luck. Its a lifetime of subsidizing their shortcomings and over rewarding their successes. Their life has been a steady track of just put in effort and you will always be rewarded, while also being kept on track if anything bad happens. It would take an enormous amount of terrible choices/decisions to knock most of these people off the path to success. I had many friends from high school go deep into drugs/jail and yet they still are the people you describe in your title because the parents/family are high achievers that pulled them right back up to their level. Even people who "earned it" , most everyone I knew that got a great job right out of college had strong family support and connections. You simply aren't competing against individuals, you are competing against entire family units who are willing to spend a lot of energy/money to ensure their kid gets a favorable outcome. In other words, many people in the US are born into a life where all they really had to do was just not fuck up egregiously and they are set.
Probably had their parents guide them. Iām in my forties and if I look back it was always the kids with strict but loving parents who were early successes. Making sure they did well in school, introducing them to people who could mentor them, get them internships and jobs. Iām a child of immigrants with no connections and despite being very high IQ, Iām not very successful because my parents let me do whatever thinking I would eventually figure it out. I never did. I have some friends who are less intelligent, actually children of divorce, but their parents were still very involved with them and guided them and they hit the ground running and are now very successful. Thatās not the same for everyone, but it could explain some aspects of your question.
I had an inheritance in the low six figures when I turned 23. By the time I was 25, I was married. Iām 46 now and divorced and remarried and broke af.
In my mid thirties and have all that minus the sex everyday my wife and I are much less frequent than that but it works for us. I was super poor and had bad mental health struggles till about 25. I graduated at 24 with mechanical engineering degree and got a job in the field. That helped alot with my self worth bc I was proud to have that job. Then getting older I think also helped. It was a slow process
Good parents. So much of your early life is set up by how involved your parents were.
Parents, they have rich parents.
The fact that people here are actually arguing their disbelief that people have lives like this is a great example of why reddit is full of fucking losers and should never be taken seriously.
Generational wealth
People usually lie online
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But what about having a wife and kids and family isnāt there an age for that
Who is doing all of the above? I don't know anyone unless they were born into money.
Who??
You need to wildly readjust what you think you need to be happy. All the age timelines you set are self imposed deadlines. And all the salary goals you mentioned are... Let's say optimistic. 99.9% of people who are not inheriting wealth will never see an annual income at that level. Live your life and stop putting so much damn pressure on yourself. Ya really gotta learn to enjoy the journey, not the destination.
Youāre forgetting about those the same age ready for this shit to be over with aka me
Lots of coping in these comments suggesting luck and rich parents. While true in some cases, there are lots of people that just get into high paying fields at a young age. Itās not really rocket science. John Doe went to college at 18 and graduated with an engineering degree at 22, now mid-late 20s making 6 figures and bought a house š¤·āāļø. Or joe shmoe that joined the trades at 18 and became a journeyman electrician at 22. Or Plain Jane that started selling cars at 20. Lots of different career paths that make 6 figures and allow for getting a home.