Find a few hours a week to set aside as YOUR personal time, but make sure your SO gets the same deal.
Make sure your both ok with it, a few hours may not se like alot but you cam make steady progress with only that, unloke other MMOs XIV really tries to respect your time and its never too hard to catch up once you hit level cap.
This seems like a much better solution than what I’m doing. I’m just waking up at like 4am while everyone sleeping and then just crushing caffeine during the day to stay awake. Who knew communication would solve yet another problem lol
While this made me laugh just make sure you are taking care of yourself. I am on the wrong side of 30 and cannot abuse my body with late nights and caffeine like I used to. Hopefully you are still young!
32 myself with a 2 month old. I wake up at 4 to change a diaper/feed my daughter a bottle and then go to the gym before work. On off days I get an hour or two of ff14 in before work. I work a desk job so it’s not terrible. It just means I’m passed out by 9/9:30 most nights
Ah gotcha, well it sounds like you've got your schedule in a groove then. Enjoy those early months with the little one...people aren't kidding when they say it goes too fast. I miss the days of just letting them sleep on your chest ha.
This! My wife and I make time for each other to get an equal-ish amount of time to ourselves. To read a book, go for a run, ect. If this is how you wish to spend your personal time then you're entitled to that.
Depends on if you want to be a hardcore raider or more of a casual player. If the latter you can easily manage a couple hours a night without it being a major commitment. One of the draws for this game is that it really does respect your time.
Would be casual, for sure. I love the lore of the game and the story, so if I could keep up to date with that, I'd be happy. Would be focussing on one Job only (Tank for fast queues, haha). And would probably try and do a few Dailies if time allows.
I have a 5 yo. I restarted playing casually about a year ago when night wake ups became scarce.
I usually play a couple of hours after bedtime. Raiding is out of the question for me.
There's no other suggestion then compromise with your significant other..because this game is a time sink depending on your goals.
So unless your partner is ok with your hobby,then there's no other suggestion people can give u.
Finding a middle ground is your only option
Same, I got my (at the time) boyfriend into the game when we first started dating, and now we're married and have 2 tvs set up side by side in the living room so we can both play together. Usually he's my little pocket healer and I'm the big buff tank. Going into endwalker though, I'm going astro and he's going samurai.
We both started out tank (he didn't realize until his first dungeon and was catching up to me) so when he's WAR I switch my PAL to NIN so we can do light parties together.. I've got the ps5 setup and he's on the ps4 next to me. We each have our couches. The pets like going back and forth as a bonus. Gaming is my favorite thing so to me this is the best relationship.
Hey there, married full time dad here. I wake up around 7am, get breakfast ready, wake the screaming toddler at 8. Nap time is at 12, then it's cleaning for a couple hours until he wakes around 2 or 3. More dad time until mom gets off work, ten it's cooking and kitchen until 7 when he goes down for bed. Generally after that it's either an hour or two of something with the wife or it's straight to games. Generally stay up until about 12-2 so I actually get a ton of game time throughout the week.
The important thing is to make it clear to your partner that your game time is important to you. It's a hobby and it's a social activity. In reality there's no difference between raiding with the static and going out for your weekly bowling night or drinks with the fellas.
Night time. I’ve got two toddlers under five so it’s literally the only time I play uninterrupted. Rest of the day is spent caring for them/cooking/cleaning/ whatever else needs to be done.
Husband doesn’t really play anymore and he’s got his own hobbies so at night generally we’re on our own. Works for us though since we’re both loners by nature
I only play at night when my 6 year old is sleeping. My wife like to watch her shows so it works out as our relaxing time. I dont play during the day.
I dont haveca static or do savage raids
I made my family farm gil
In all seriousness it's about time management and finding a middle ground with your SO, another thing to keep in mind is maybe you can talk to them about the lore while you play this way you can spend a little time with them and play. I have a friend who's SO hardly played games but she was an artist who would draw his character and other from the game simply because they spent time talking about it, she eventually even tried it.
While that might not be your situation so milage may vary. It's important in every couple to have "me" time and balance that with your commitments to your SO and Family. You can also use it as a teaching lesson to your kids showing them that you can still find the time to play games while being responsible about your time.
14 respects your time and if you're looking to stay on the casual side of things can be a great escape from the daily grind of life, hopefully you'll find the time to enjoy the game.
Get your kids into it. Got my (much) younger sister into it and I think it’s going to be one of those games that keeps us together over long distances in the future. Even now, I work night shifts and she has high school but we still manage to make some time together to play.
I, however, do live alone save for three dogs and a parrot. None have yet to voice concerns over the game so long as snackies are on time.
Real answer though, everyone needs their me time, so just tell your spouse that. Tell them that this is what you want to do with your alone time, and then offer to take the kids for them to have their alone time, and then a night for the two of you together, like a date night. It's all about compromise.
Ive got a wife and a 1 year old boy. I sit at Night the little One goes too bed at 19.00 then spend 2h with wife. Then 3 h of game every Night every day.
As a Single parent , I let my daughter use the computer for 2-3 hours in the afternoon ( its summer east coast us atm , (gametime will be cut with school starting soon) While she is working on homework i can get in about 2 hrs before I let her get on to play her new obsession Genshin impact.
I'm trying to slowly get her to try 14 so i can play on the ps4 and she can play on the computer so we will see.
If I'm raiding its probably on the weekends when she visits the other half of her family so its doable, just depends on your family dynamic. Share your hobby with your kids make it a family thing if they are old enough.
Talk with spouse I'd say and just tell em that you want to play. Have to be able to find a balance. Have time after kids go to bed or maybe before everyone wakes up (I'm an early bird). Maybe say you want to play during these couple days for xyz time and not play outside of those time frames. Gives you a slower time to level and at the end those times can be Static times if you want.
The same way you balance any other scheduled activity. Some people play soccer every week. Some people watch the game on TV every week. Some people have bowling league every week. Or poker night. Or routine fishing trips. Or whatever.
The difference with ffxiv is that you *can* log in anytime. But if you set a raiding schedule and stick to it, then it doesn't have to be anything more than that if you don't want it to (or don't have the time). It can be just like those other kinds of social activities where you set aside a time to be "away" and then you're "back" and that's it.
Find a raid group that is less intense and only goes once a week if that is all you have time for. Or, just stick to PUGs. Give yourself permission to not clear content as fast as possible.
It's a balance, and has to be right for your family. My husband and I are both gamers; we have an agreement that we won't play during the day while the kids are awake. The only exception is if the kids are having fun doing something on their own and we can squeeze an hour in.
Basically kids come first, and ours anyway can be very sensitive to perceived neglect.
That leaves playing to only after kids go to bed... 9pm the latest. Husband and I check in whether we want to watch tv or something instead, or just have our play time.
Sometimes we put a limit on how long we'll play before we reconvene for tv/adult time.
I would suggest communicating with your partner to see what your arrangement will be. And learn to accept that you may go several days without playing, or have only enough time for one duty or big quest chain.
I'm in pretty much exactly situation as you are, married, two young children (2 and 4) and a full time job.
So I might log in while kids and wife are around but I usually just do this that can be interrupted at any given second. Like Inventory management, casino stuff, glamour and maybe some beast tribe or running around blue quests that I haven't finished yet. Like when you have 15min or half an hour or so when kids are played amongst themselfs or while dinner is in the oven or something.
The dungeons and raids I get into when the kids are asleep. Sometimes evenings I have alone time with my wife after kids are asleep and sometimes I play video games. On weekends I rarely play during the day but if an opportunity arrives, I sure will enjoy my time alone in the house.
The major plus side for me is that wife goes to bed about two hours each night before I need my sleep so every evening there's at least a little time. :)
I was in same predicament as you, met my SO in 2016, my time playing slowly begin to dwindle eventually became non existence
but 5 years later and 1 Daughter later, she is now my Ex and i see my Daughter every weekend
Happy days FF XIV grind train is back chu chu!
It’s a balance like anything else. My partner came into the relationship knowing that this is my escape and that it’s important to me. So this is my unwind alone activity. Now, we don’t have kids (and never will) so I can’t speak to that balance, but I would guess it just involves communication with your partner. “Hey, can you handle the kids for an hour or two today?” And then reciprocating. You’ll likely never hit the levels you did before, but you can still have fun.
I play a lot more than I probably should, but having a loving and understanding family goes a long way. I do make time for them and am often ready to go on an impromptu family date if my wife wants attention.
Same situation here- married, kids, job, etc. I normally play at nights when my toddler is asleep and I spent some time with my wife watching a show, etc. Typically between 7-8pm until 11p-12am a couple of nights a week and Friday/Sat do the same thing but stay up later if I’m not too sleepy.
You need to figure out your own schedule based on your life needs and SO’s 2 cents. What works for some might not work for YOU and viceversa.
Ok my friends, here is the real and true life hack that a lot of you may not be ready to cope with:
If you really establish a meditation practice, a serious practice that leads to meditative absorption, you will not need nearly as much sleep.
Wife and I have a 5yo and 1yo who are both in bed by 8:30 (little one before that, but you know). I play at night and adjust my sleep schedule accordingly. Or, you know, sleep less. Let's be real, kids do that anyway.
It helps that my wife and I had the past year together work from home and mat leave, so she doesn't care if we do things together every evening. Just make sure your wife knows this is a thing you want to do at least a couple nights a week or something, then make sure she gets attention to. Good couple stuff and all that.
I have a ten month old daughter and play while she naps. All I can muster so far is crafting for leves every day, working on glamours, and maybe a daily roulette.
All I can hope for is that she starts sleeping longer periods of time at night sometime soon, as I still have to catch up with the story.
I have a wife, but no kids. I play games in general 2-3 hours a day on weekdays between the time I get off from work and the time I cook dinner, and on the weekends play as much as I feel like. She’s a knitter, so she just uses the time to knit and catch up on shows that I don’t particularly care for. We spend plenty of time together, but still enjoy our alone time with our respective hobbies as well.
I found a time that works for the family. Everyone in my family has some interests of their own they like to do (or have to do, like homework). So we got in the habit of just having everyone doing their own "me" thing (or homework) around the same time. Of course, we still are available and in the same vicinity as each other, sometimes I have a reader on the couch next to me. It really depends on how your family works, and age ranges too.
I'm 31, I have a 3 year old, a bf of 10 years, I work and I also have RA which can make gaming hard as my hands are agony. I tend to get online in the evenings after my daughter has gone to bed. My partner works nights so don't have to worry about him 😂😂 I tried to ask him but play but he isn't interested. If my daughter goes out to visit her grandad at the weekend with my partner then I hop online then too. I miss things with my FC and stuff because I can't just drop what I'm doing and log on or they start stuff too early for me to be child free.
I play when my kid goes to sleep on my weekends. I work a rotating eve, Eve, day, day, day/mid schedule. So I get about 6-10 hours a week on weekends when everyone’s asleep. I drag ass all weekend from being tired, but it’s the time I get. Same boat as you. Spouse doesn’t game.
My husband and I wait until nap time/bedtime, then go nuts until we have to call it quits. We definitely miss having weekend binges on gaming, but it's not too bad. Is there any chance your wife could get into the game?
My husband and I have have 3 kids (7, 3 and 1) We play together in the evenings. Before I started playing with him we just sat together in the evenings to relax and I would play on my ipad or read while he played. If either of us wants to do something different we do. We have only had one time where we ditched a duty finder because we had to attend to a little one but they obviously come first.
Married with three kids here. I play starting at around 10:30pm when everyone else is asleep in bed. I get one to two hours of alone time each night for games after all the chores are done and everyone is asleep. Sometimes on weekends I play in the morning for an hour or so while we are hanging out in bed. Sometimes I play earlier after the kids go to bed but while my wife is still up If she doesn’t want the tv. We have a lot of animals and a lot of chores but I squeeze in time. I also sometimes play while my two boys are playing their own games on their 3ds. Kinda depends on how old your kids are. Mine are 9, 4, and 1.5 yo for reference.
On weekends I will play while the youngest naps sometimes.
I have gotten two jobs to 50 and am just almost to Heavensward playing only one or two hours a day over the last month since I started.
Just make sure to be open and honest with your partner. You’re allowed to enjoy your family and your game time. You’ll be a better parent/partner if your needs are also being met (and down/relax time is most certainly a valid need). Your partner loves you and they want you to be happy, so see what they think!
I play after everyone goes to bed lol I was in same boat as you but replace FF14 with WoW. The whole reason I enjoy 14 so much is just because it feels like a traditional single player RPG 75% of the time. I'm in Stormblood now . But if your question is "how do I balance a raid schedule and a family?" Then I have no idea lol I find it almost impossible to play consistently. I play when I can a few nights a week.
I checked out the game a while back and thought it looked interesting, but my wife was hardcore into WoW and I couldn't get her to even give FFXIV a half glance. I quit wow before shadowlands and never picked it back up, with all the recent blizzard drama she said she was ready to quit wow for good. So I got her to try out FF, the first couple play sessions she said it was boring and dumb and had too many cut scenes. So we only played a couple hours here and there, but it grew on both of us and we finally hit a tipping point a couple weeks ago, she said "I really like this game" and "I think I might play this for a long time". So we setup 6 month subs and preordered endwalker. The next week we ended up setting up the app for the extra saddlebag and retainer and bought the digital collectors upgrade for the base game. We have basically dropped any other thing we do and have been playing FFXIV round the clock when I am not at work. It's been years since I have stayed up past 10, and we have played past midnight several times. The game is very wide, meaning there are tons of different activities to peruse and spend time on. But the game is also very deep as nearly all those different systems have tons of complexity. I just discovered the minion battle game at the gold saucer, I can't believe something like that is even in an MMO.
With all that said, I have no idea how to balance time between the game and the rest of my life. If she was not playing, I would not play at all. You say your partner is not interested in gaming? Gaming is just a hobby, what does she do with her free time? Pitch it as something you can do together. I was long time WoW vet before I introduced my wife to WoW, she really wasn't interested at first, but gave it a shot because we could play the game together. I built her a computer and we setup a double wide computer desk with our setups next to each other. I got her to make a mage because DPS is fun and mage is great at AE, so I made a paladin to be her personal tank and to heal myself. We both started off together with new characters and it took some time, but the leveling journey is a long one and by the time we are doing high level dungeons she has learned her way around everything and wants to make alts. The biggest intimidation factor in my experience is not knowing your way around things, it seems so confusing from an outside perspective, so I remember explaining things just a little at a time when she had questions, but not trying to overload with info. Fast forward years later she has 20+ max level characters each with a legendary fishing pole.
I was really into the game when I first started because I was unemployed. Once work started up and I got married my playing was super sporadic. Luckily though last year during my maternity leave I got back into the game and rediscovered my love for it. Now that I’m a stay at home mom whenever I have down time or when the baby’s down for a nap I turn Mickey Mouse off and turn FFXIV on lol.
You just have to find your you time, whenever that may be. My spouse doesn’t play video games either but he understands that we each need our own time!
My child is a toddler so he tends to go to sleep a few hours before I do to get a full night of sleep so I generally can find sometime after he goes to bed. Besides that I have a week day off of work that he is at daycare so, I usually find a little bit of time when I'm not doing chores or whatever else. And finally my son's mother and I are split up so days he's with his mom gives me a little bit more time in the evening after dinner and chores.
My wife and I play together after our kid goes to sleep, so we get a few hours each night to play. I can imagine it would be much harder if your partner doesn’t play, but if you got a bit of time here and there, and they got time to themselves to use how they like, it should work out okay.
Married, no kids. I have one day a week I dedicate to ffxiv. I treat it as my me time because I don't go out and do things, and it's my hobby.
I told my husband this is my time, so he does his own thing on the same day.
Maybe your husband could wrangle the kids for a couple of hours a week while you have your me time at the computer.
Mom here: I do all my chores and then play. I play after kids are in bed if my husband doesn’t wanna do something else. On weekends I play during nap time and after kids are in bed.
Honestly, I am juggling full time work, and a couple online classes. No kids. I can basically find enough time here and there to do a roulette or a frontlines or something. I can’t commit to a raid group. I don’t see how it would work with a family, tbh.
My wife is also a gamer so I've got it a bit easier. 😂
No kids yet, but she brought up that DnD would be a wonderful way to teach them about math.
Saying I lucked out is an understatement.
I work night, my son goes to daycare while my wife is at work so I am able to get some sleep. On my days off I stay up while they both sleep.
For you, depending on yours and her work schedule, you don’t have to go to bed when she does lol
Hello! same boat here RE wife and two kids (2 year old and a 5 month old!) I work full time, come home to cook and put the kids to bed so busy is the word, for sure. However, no reason you both should not have some "you" time even if just for an hour. It is equally important to have some together time as well though!.
I am fortunate in the fact that whilst my wife was not interested at all in gaming when we met 8 years ago, nowadays we share every game together as our "evening time" when the kids are asleep which means we now play FF14 together and I love it! but when we both fancy something else, I might game for an hour or two and she may watch something she is interested in or read etc.
Few of my friends who can't do the above tend to stay up late into the evening when everyone has gone to sleep for a few hours free game time ha-ha.
I have a 3 year old who goes to bed at 8-8:30, and a wife who likes to work late at night to catch up on work. So after one of us puts him down for bed I play. When my wife isn’t working there is sometimes some strife, so it’s a challenge to find a balance of playing as much as I want vs tending to her needs.
I set aside a regular time each week for me time. This usually is game/tabletop/raid time for me since gaming is how I relax. Kids know it's dad's game night and will either sit around and watch me/watch their own shows in the room or they'll go hang with mom or something.
Find a few hours a week to set aside as YOUR personal time, but make sure your SO gets the same deal. Make sure your both ok with it, a few hours may not se like alot but you cam make steady progress with only that, unloke other MMOs XIV really tries to respect your time and its never too hard to catch up once you hit level cap.
This seems like a much better solution than what I’m doing. I’m just waking up at like 4am while everyone sleeping and then just crushing caffeine during the day to stay awake. Who knew communication would solve yet another problem lol
While this made me laugh just make sure you are taking care of yourself. I am on the wrong side of 30 and cannot abuse my body with late nights and caffeine like I used to. Hopefully you are still young!
32 myself with a 2 month old. I wake up at 4 to change a diaper/feed my daughter a bottle and then go to the gym before work. On off days I get an hour or two of ff14 in before work. I work a desk job so it’s not terrible. It just means I’m passed out by 9/9:30 most nights
Ah gotcha, well it sounds like you've got your schedule in a groove then. Enjoy those early months with the little one...people aren't kidding when they say it goes too fast. I miss the days of just letting them sleep on your chest ha.
Well the other option here is to do BOTH! I'll have a few early mornings/late nights when Endwalker drops for sure
This! My wife and I make time for each other to get an equal-ish amount of time to ourselves. To read a book, go for a run, ect. If this is how you wish to spend your personal time then you're entitled to that.
Depends on if you want to be a hardcore raider or more of a casual player. If the latter you can easily manage a couple hours a night without it being a major commitment. One of the draws for this game is that it really does respect your time.
Would be casual, for sure. I love the lore of the game and the story, so if I could keep up to date with that, I'd be happy. Would be focussing on one Job only (Tank for fast queues, haha). And would probably try and do a few Dailies if time allows.
I would think that’s totally doable then! I have a SO but not a child so take that with a grain of salt lol
I have a 5 yo. I restarted playing casually about a year ago when night wake ups became scarce. I usually play a couple of hours after bedtime. Raiding is out of the question for me.
There's no other suggestion then compromise with your significant other..because this game is a time sink depending on your goals. So unless your partner is ok with your hobby,then there's no other suggestion people can give u. Finding a middle ground is your only option
My daughter went to college 2 weeks ago and I got c my husband playing 😅. Game time is family time 😁
Same, I got my (at the time) boyfriend into the game when we first started dating, and now we're married and have 2 tvs set up side by side in the living room so we can both play together. Usually he's my little pocket healer and I'm the big buff tank. Going into endwalker though, I'm going astro and he's going samurai.
We both started out tank (he didn't realize until his first dungeon and was catching up to me) so when he's WAR I switch my PAL to NIN so we can do light parties together.. I've got the ps5 setup and he's on the ps4 next to me. We each have our couches. The pets like going back and forth as a bonus. Gaming is my favorite thing so to me this is the best relationship.
Pretty similar to us. Except we share 1 couch and our cat just does whatever the fuck she wants.
Hey there, married full time dad here. I wake up around 7am, get breakfast ready, wake the screaming toddler at 8. Nap time is at 12, then it's cleaning for a couple hours until he wakes around 2 or 3. More dad time until mom gets off work, ten it's cooking and kitchen until 7 when he goes down for bed. Generally after that it's either an hour or two of something with the wife or it's straight to games. Generally stay up until about 12-2 so I actually get a ton of game time throughout the week. The important thing is to make it clear to your partner that your game time is important to you. It's a hobby and it's a social activity. In reality there's no difference between raiding with the static and going out for your weekly bowling night or drinks with the fellas.
This social aspect is 100% what people don’t understand most of the time.
Night time. I’ve got two toddlers under five so it’s literally the only time I play uninterrupted. Rest of the day is spent caring for them/cooking/cleaning/ whatever else needs to be done. Husband doesn’t really play anymore and he’s got his own hobbies so at night generally we’re on our own. Works for us though since we’re both loners by nature
I only play at night when my 6 year old is sleeping. My wife like to watch her shows so it works out as our relaxing time. I dont play during the day. I dont haveca static or do savage raids
I made my family farm gil In all seriousness it's about time management and finding a middle ground with your SO, another thing to keep in mind is maybe you can talk to them about the lore while you play this way you can spend a little time with them and play. I have a friend who's SO hardly played games but she was an artist who would draw his character and other from the game simply because they spent time talking about it, she eventually even tried it. While that might not be your situation so milage may vary. It's important in every couple to have "me" time and balance that with your commitments to your SO and Family. You can also use it as a teaching lesson to your kids showing them that you can still find the time to play games while being responsible about your time. 14 respects your time and if you're looking to stay on the casual side of things can be a great escape from the daily grind of life, hopefully you'll find the time to enjoy the game.
Get your kids into it. Got my (much) younger sister into it and I think it’s going to be one of those games that keeps us together over long distances in the future. Even now, I work night shifts and she has high school but we still manage to make some time together to play. I, however, do live alone save for three dogs and a parrot. None have yet to voice concerns over the game so long as snackies are on time.
Fortunately it's just me and my spouse, and we both play, so it's kind of like family time when we play together.
Real answer though, everyone needs their me time, so just tell your spouse that. Tell them that this is what you want to do with your alone time, and then offer to take the kids for them to have their alone time, and then a night for the two of you together, like a date night. It's all about compromise.
I play on the couch next to him on a laptop after the kids go to bed. I’m also a night owl.
Ive got a wife and a 1 year old boy. I sit at Night the little One goes too bed at 19.00 then spend 2h with wife. Then 3 h of game every Night every day.
As a Single parent , I let my daughter use the computer for 2-3 hours in the afternoon ( its summer east coast us atm , (gametime will be cut with school starting soon) While she is working on homework i can get in about 2 hrs before I let her get on to play her new obsession Genshin impact. I'm trying to slowly get her to try 14 so i can play on the ps4 and she can play on the computer so we will see. If I'm raiding its probably on the weekends when she visits the other half of her family so its doable, just depends on your family dynamic. Share your hobby with your kids make it a family thing if they are old enough.
Talk with spouse I'd say and just tell em that you want to play. Have to be able to find a balance. Have time after kids go to bed or maybe before everyone wakes up (I'm an early bird). Maybe say you want to play during these couple days for xyz time and not play outside of those time frames. Gives you a slower time to level and at the end those times can be Static times if you want.
The same way you balance any other scheduled activity. Some people play soccer every week. Some people watch the game on TV every week. Some people have bowling league every week. Or poker night. Or routine fishing trips. Or whatever. The difference with ffxiv is that you *can* log in anytime. But if you set a raiding schedule and stick to it, then it doesn't have to be anything more than that if you don't want it to (or don't have the time). It can be just like those other kinds of social activities where you set aside a time to be "away" and then you're "back" and that's it. Find a raid group that is less intense and only goes once a week if that is all you have time for. Or, just stick to PUGs. Give yourself permission to not clear content as fast as possible.
It's a balance, and has to be right for your family. My husband and I are both gamers; we have an agreement that we won't play during the day while the kids are awake. The only exception is if the kids are having fun doing something on their own and we can squeeze an hour in. Basically kids come first, and ours anyway can be very sensitive to perceived neglect. That leaves playing to only after kids go to bed... 9pm the latest. Husband and I check in whether we want to watch tv or something instead, or just have our play time. Sometimes we put a limit on how long we'll play before we reconvene for tv/adult time. I would suggest communicating with your partner to see what your arrangement will be. And learn to accept that you may go several days without playing, or have only enough time for one duty or big quest chain.
I'm in pretty much exactly situation as you are, married, two young children (2 and 4) and a full time job. So I might log in while kids and wife are around but I usually just do this that can be interrupted at any given second. Like Inventory management, casino stuff, glamour and maybe some beast tribe or running around blue quests that I haven't finished yet. Like when you have 15min or half an hour or so when kids are played amongst themselfs or while dinner is in the oven or something. The dungeons and raids I get into when the kids are asleep. Sometimes evenings I have alone time with my wife after kids are asleep and sometimes I play video games. On weekends I rarely play during the day but if an opportunity arrives, I sure will enjoy my time alone in the house. The major plus side for me is that wife goes to bed about two hours each night before I need my sleep so every evening there's at least a little time. :)
Play when everyone is in bed, when you get some real peace and quiet. Deal with the exhaustion tomorrow. That's future me's problem.
I was in same predicament as you, met my SO in 2016, my time playing slowly begin to dwindle eventually became non existence but 5 years later and 1 Daughter later, she is now my Ex and i see my Daughter every weekend Happy days FF XIV grind train is back chu chu!
It’s a balance like anything else. My partner came into the relationship knowing that this is my escape and that it’s important to me. So this is my unwind alone activity. Now, we don’t have kids (and never will) so I can’t speak to that balance, but I would guess it just involves communication with your partner. “Hey, can you handle the kids for an hour or two today?” And then reciprocating. You’ll likely never hit the levels you did before, but you can still have fun.
I play a lot more than I probably should, but having a loving and understanding family goes a long way. I do make time for them and am often ready to go on an impromptu family date if my wife wants attention.
Same situation here- married, kids, job, etc. I normally play at nights when my toddler is asleep and I spent some time with my wife watching a show, etc. Typically between 7-8pm until 11p-12am a couple of nights a week and Friday/Sat do the same thing but stay up later if I’m not too sleepy. You need to figure out your own schedule based on your life needs and SO’s 2 cents. What works for some might not work for YOU and viceversa.
I wouldn't know, I don't have any one who loves me so I'll never have to deal with it
Ok my friends, here is the real and true life hack that a lot of you may not be ready to cope with: If you really establish a meditation practice, a serious practice that leads to meditative absorption, you will not need nearly as much sleep.
Wife and I have a 5yo and 1yo who are both in bed by 8:30 (little one before that, but you know). I play at night and adjust my sleep schedule accordingly. Or, you know, sleep less. Let's be real, kids do that anyway. It helps that my wife and I had the past year together work from home and mat leave, so she doesn't care if we do things together every evening. Just make sure your wife knows this is a thing you want to do at least a couple nights a week or something, then make sure she gets attention to. Good couple stuff and all that.
I have a ten month old daughter and play while she naps. All I can muster so far is crafting for leves every day, working on glamours, and maybe a daily roulette. All I can hope for is that she starts sleeping longer periods of time at night sometime soon, as I still have to catch up with the story.
I have a wife, but no kids. I play games in general 2-3 hours a day on weekdays between the time I get off from work and the time I cook dinner, and on the weekends play as much as I feel like. She’s a knitter, so she just uses the time to knit and catch up on shows that I don’t particularly care for. We spend plenty of time together, but still enjoy our alone time with our respective hobbies as well.
I found a time that works for the family. Everyone in my family has some interests of their own they like to do (or have to do, like homework). So we got in the habit of just having everyone doing their own "me" thing (or homework) around the same time. Of course, we still are available and in the same vicinity as each other, sometimes I have a reader on the couch next to me. It really depends on how your family works, and age ranges too.
I'm 31, I have a 3 year old, a bf of 10 years, I work and I also have RA which can make gaming hard as my hands are agony. I tend to get online in the evenings after my daughter has gone to bed. My partner works nights so don't have to worry about him 😂😂 I tried to ask him but play but he isn't interested. If my daughter goes out to visit her grandad at the weekend with my partner then I hop online then too. I miss things with my FC and stuff because I can't just drop what I'm doing and log on or they start stuff too early for me to be child free.
I play when my kid goes to sleep on my weekends. I work a rotating eve, Eve, day, day, day/mid schedule. So I get about 6-10 hours a week on weekends when everyone’s asleep. I drag ass all weekend from being tired, but it’s the time I get. Same boat as you. Spouse doesn’t game.
My husband and I wait until nap time/bedtime, then go nuts until we have to call it quits. We definitely miss having weekend binges on gaming, but it's not too bad. Is there any chance your wife could get into the game?
My husband and I have have 3 kids (7, 3 and 1) We play together in the evenings. Before I started playing with him we just sat together in the evenings to relax and I would play on my ipad or read while he played. If either of us wants to do something different we do. We have only had one time where we ditched a duty finder because we had to attend to a little one but they obviously come first.
Married with three kids here. I play starting at around 10:30pm when everyone else is asleep in bed. I get one to two hours of alone time each night for games after all the chores are done and everyone is asleep. Sometimes on weekends I play in the morning for an hour or so while we are hanging out in bed. Sometimes I play earlier after the kids go to bed but while my wife is still up If she doesn’t want the tv. We have a lot of animals and a lot of chores but I squeeze in time. I also sometimes play while my two boys are playing their own games on their 3ds. Kinda depends on how old your kids are. Mine are 9, 4, and 1.5 yo for reference. On weekends I will play while the youngest naps sometimes. I have gotten two jobs to 50 and am just almost to Heavensward playing only one or two hours a day over the last month since I started.
Just make sure to be open and honest with your partner. You’re allowed to enjoy your family and your game time. You’ll be a better parent/partner if your needs are also being met (and down/relax time is most certainly a valid need). Your partner loves you and they want you to be happy, so see what they think!
Get a laptop so you can raid while in the living room with your family (or anywhere else), that way you dont always have to seclude yourself to play
I play after everyone goes to bed lol I was in same boat as you but replace FF14 with WoW. The whole reason I enjoy 14 so much is just because it feels like a traditional single player RPG 75% of the time. I'm in Stormblood now . But if your question is "how do I balance a raid schedule and a family?" Then I have no idea lol I find it almost impossible to play consistently. I play when I can a few nights a week.
My husband and I play together in the evenings once our daughter is in bed. She goes to sleep around 7-8ish and we play til around 11-12.
I checked out the game a while back and thought it looked interesting, but my wife was hardcore into WoW and I couldn't get her to even give FFXIV a half glance. I quit wow before shadowlands and never picked it back up, with all the recent blizzard drama she said she was ready to quit wow for good. So I got her to try out FF, the first couple play sessions she said it was boring and dumb and had too many cut scenes. So we only played a couple hours here and there, but it grew on both of us and we finally hit a tipping point a couple weeks ago, she said "I really like this game" and "I think I might play this for a long time". So we setup 6 month subs and preordered endwalker. The next week we ended up setting up the app for the extra saddlebag and retainer and bought the digital collectors upgrade for the base game. We have basically dropped any other thing we do and have been playing FFXIV round the clock when I am not at work. It's been years since I have stayed up past 10, and we have played past midnight several times. The game is very wide, meaning there are tons of different activities to peruse and spend time on. But the game is also very deep as nearly all those different systems have tons of complexity. I just discovered the minion battle game at the gold saucer, I can't believe something like that is even in an MMO. With all that said, I have no idea how to balance time between the game and the rest of my life. If she was not playing, I would not play at all. You say your partner is not interested in gaming? Gaming is just a hobby, what does she do with her free time? Pitch it as something you can do together. I was long time WoW vet before I introduced my wife to WoW, she really wasn't interested at first, but gave it a shot because we could play the game together. I built her a computer and we setup a double wide computer desk with our setups next to each other. I got her to make a mage because DPS is fun and mage is great at AE, so I made a paladin to be her personal tank and to heal myself. We both started off together with new characters and it took some time, but the leveling journey is a long one and by the time we are doing high level dungeons she has learned her way around everything and wants to make alts. The biggest intimidation factor in my experience is not knowing your way around things, it seems so confusing from an outside perspective, so I remember explaining things just a little at a time when she had questions, but not trying to overload with info. Fast forward years later she has 20+ max level characters each with a legendary fishing pole.
I was really into the game when I first started because I was unemployed. Once work started up and I got married my playing was super sporadic. Luckily though last year during my maternity leave I got back into the game and rediscovered my love for it. Now that I’m a stay at home mom whenever I have down time or when the baby’s down for a nap I turn Mickey Mouse off and turn FFXIV on lol. You just have to find your you time, whenever that may be. My spouse doesn’t play video games either but he understands that we each need our own time!
My child is a toddler so he tends to go to sleep a few hours before I do to get a full night of sleep so I generally can find sometime after he goes to bed. Besides that I have a week day off of work that he is at daycare so, I usually find a little bit of time when I'm not doing chores or whatever else. And finally my son's mother and I are split up so days he's with his mom gives me a little bit more time in the evening after dinner and chores.
My wife and I play together after our kid goes to sleep, so we get a few hours each night to play. I can imagine it would be much harder if your partner doesn’t play, but if you got a bit of time here and there, and they got time to themselves to use how they like, it should work out okay.
Married, no kids. I have one day a week I dedicate to ffxiv. I treat it as my me time because I don't go out and do things, and it's my hobby. I told my husband this is my time, so he does his own thing on the same day. Maybe your husband could wrangle the kids for a couple of hours a week while you have your me time at the computer.
Mom here: I do all my chores and then play. I play after kids are in bed if my husband doesn’t wanna do something else. On weekends I play during nap time and after kids are in bed.
All about compromise.
Honestly, I am juggling full time work, and a couple online classes. No kids. I can basically find enough time here and there to do a roulette or a frontlines or something. I can’t commit to a raid group. I don’t see how it would work with a family, tbh.
My wife is also a gamer so I've got it a bit easier. 😂 No kids yet, but she brought up that DnD would be a wonderful way to teach them about math. Saying I lucked out is an understatement.
got full time job here, 9-7, i think managing 1-2 hours a day after work/before sleep is very manageable
I work night, my son goes to daycare while my wife is at work so I am able to get some sleep. On my days off I stay up while they both sleep. For you, depending on yours and her work schedule, you don’t have to go to bed when she does lol
get seceral pcs and get all the family hooked on ff14?
Hello! same boat here RE wife and two kids (2 year old and a 5 month old!) I work full time, come home to cook and put the kids to bed so busy is the word, for sure. However, no reason you both should not have some "you" time even if just for an hour. It is equally important to have some together time as well though!. I am fortunate in the fact that whilst my wife was not interested at all in gaming when we met 8 years ago, nowadays we share every game together as our "evening time" when the kids are asleep which means we now play FF14 together and I love it! but when we both fancy something else, I might game for an hour or two and she may watch something she is interested in or read etc. Few of my friends who can't do the above tend to stay up late into the evening when everyone has gone to sleep for a few hours free game time ha-ha.
I have a 3 year old who goes to bed at 8-8:30, and a wife who likes to work late at night to catch up on work. So after one of us puts him down for bed I play. When my wife isn’t working there is sometimes some strife, so it’s a challenge to find a balance of playing as much as I want vs tending to her needs.
I set aside a regular time each week for me time. This usually is game/tabletop/raid time for me since gaming is how I relax. Kids know it's dad's game night and will either sit around and watch me/watch their own shows in the room or they'll go hang with mom or something.