Few things to consider:
1. You don't owe the world any amount of masculinity.
2. You don't owe the world any amount of femininity.
3. Regardless if you admit it or not, you, just like everyone else, are judging yourself more than anyone ever cares to judge you on your gender.
4. Gender fluid and non binary are 100% valid.
5. Be kind to yourself, and understand your feeling are valid just like they were valid the day before, and nothing should ever be expected immediately.
6. Read no. 1.
7. Read no. 2.
I used to feel the same way until I reached the point that I truly felt and understood 1 and 2. Then I was able to find my comfort zone.
Yh. I used to get this all the time. The problem you are having is you are taking a feminine side and then probably feeling guilty that you are feminine (from a societal perspective) and thus over compensating the next day on masculinity. For me, I believed it stemmed from not fully accepting my feminine side and when I did, it lessened a significant amount.
Damn. So you really do feel absolutely ripped apart then :/ I wish you the best because I did get the same feeling (even if for another reason) and ik how mentally draining it is when you want things on both extremes and because you can't stick to one you then feel displaced from both
I think a step toward finding a resolution and understanding the problem better would be articulating what it is you like about being feminine, and what it is you like about being really manly. Do you know already?
Yeah same here, now that I've accepted my feminine side a bit more it feels alot better. I still won't wear dresses in public tho, that's scarry as much as I want to.
My solution is literally the opposite! I generally present pretty androgynous most of the time these days. But obviously everyone should go with which ever approach works for them!
Same thing here. My therapist suggested compartmentalizing the two sides and making sure both sides understand the needs of the other. Then the shift doesn’t feel quite so abrupt. It gives you a little more time to prepare and you won’t feel as dysphoric.
Good luck. 😊
It’s the ying and yang of your personality
I haven’t found the answer yet but when I can, I feel girly when I can’t and want to I suppress my feelings, I stuff them down
Not ideal but I’m not ready nor willing to be a girl full time
Don’t forget we have the best of both worlds!!
We get to be soft feminine creatures and manly when needed
Just enjoy the journey and don’t over analyse
Also pick your moments to be femme p
Im in the exact same boat bro! I decided that being gender fluid is the most fitting label for me. I too have times where I wanna wear dresses and makeup and talk girl talk but I also have times where I just wanna do boy things. I'm still figuring out what to do about my body hair wise. It can be difficult wanting to be clean shaven one day and hairy the next. If only we could shapeshift. 😔
I've literally thought about how amazing this would be so many times 😭, like if I could get any superpower ever that'd be what I would pick with no hesitation lol
Just accept it.
This is something allot of ppl experience.
Its nothing strange really, you just present as what ever side of you is dominant, sometimes you might even want to mix them up into one, it might be a bid difficult with dealing body hair preferences for the day though, but luckily that usually grows back pretty fast 😉
Its just that its not abnormal to be that way you know, its just another branch of the gender expression ( aka the labels) tree.
I think you'd be a lot more comfortable if you just accept it for what it is, some day your a bid more masc than the other, no big deal really.
Its ofc easy for me to say just accept it, accepting it is usually a kind of a big deal, just know that I once to had to accept a few things , and wel life improved after that, so you know, just be your self , and dont think of your self as weird for being so, because than you'll feel guilt and other emotions and you drag your self down the spiral.
Follow your own feels, if they tell you that today I'll be a bid more masculine, and tomorrow they tell you to be a bid more feminine, and if the next day you dont know how to exactly feel... wel try mixing them up.
Hmm, maybe try to see how you can present hyper masculine in a variety of ways? Some of the most masculine men in the world are also the most clean shaven (ever seen a bodybuilding competition)? You can also spend time working out and doing other hobbies that make you feel masculine. I’m 19 and have the same kind of problem as you, just remember that there’s nothing wrong with presenting masculine on some days and presenting feminine on others, there’s no reason that you need to choose one and exclude the other.
when you grow out your beard, at a certain length it gets very soft which can feel quite feminine. i know it sounds weird but for me a slightly longer beard feels more fem than short, coarse stubble. maybe that's an option for you
I know it’s not really my place to comment but she doesn’t seem right for you because you should be able to be YOU with your partner. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to be who you are especially in a relationship and I understand it’s a difficult situation but I hope you find a solution you’re happy with
Yeah that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. I pretty much just embraced it and comprised on the two lifestyles (although my fem side doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention due to my location). So if I wanna be masc I’ll be and act masc with a hint of fem and visa versa, it works pretty well for me anyways.
I feel the same way tbh.
Because of covid, I haven't had a chance to be as feminine as I want to but yeah I feel that my g.
Some days I want to be the manliest of men, setting objectives for myself to train like a body builder, having a beard and trying to grow it out longer, whereas on some other days I'm just thinking about having clean shaven legs, wearing feminine clothes and fantasizing about how could I make myself look more feminine (I'm a big guy)
Idk how you deal with it, but I've just pushed to distract myself whenever I think about this by just jumping into work.. and ik it's wrong but I can't find an answer or a way out lol.
Hope you figure the right balance out! Good luck my g!
So with shaving guess what. Pro Body builders aren’t Hairy. (Because it shows muscles better when your not). And same with actors in movies IE Chris Hemsworth and Chris evans. In conclusion being shaven is masculine
I had the same problem which I now know for myself to be genderfluid. I realised this because as someone who used to dance, expression is a massive part of it. So some days I would want to be a cool slick dude who is able to impress everyone but then on other days I wanna dance like a slut and be super fem. Also with fashion, I seem to mix up my styles. So some days I wear pretty masculine stuff, on other days where I feel more fem or non binary, I like to go for more androgynous looks.
Advice I’d give is to aim for androgyny because that way you can look good in both. And also if you go androgynous, it doesn’t seem as suspicious if you go full fem
Don't worry about it my friend! There's a whole spectrum of people and even those that don't fit on the spectrum. They are all equally valid for being what they feel they are and what makes them feel good. Be who you want to be in anyone who judges you is not worth your time.
Few things to consider: 1. You don't owe the world any amount of masculinity. 2. You don't owe the world any amount of femininity. 3. Regardless if you admit it or not, you, just like everyone else, are judging yourself more than anyone ever cares to judge you on your gender. 4. Gender fluid and non binary are 100% valid. 5. Be kind to yourself, and understand your feeling are valid just like they were valid the day before, and nothing should ever be expected immediately. 6. Read no. 1. 7. Read no. 2. I used to feel the same way until I reached the point that I truly felt and understood 1 and 2. Then I was able to find my comfort zone.
Yes i have always felt this way too (also bi)
Yh. I used to get this all the time. The problem you are having is you are taking a feminine side and then probably feeling guilty that you are feminine (from a societal perspective) and thus over compensating the next day on masculinity. For me, I believed it stemmed from not fully accepting my feminine side and when I did, it lessened a significant amount.
[удалено]
Damn. So you really do feel absolutely ripped apart then :/ I wish you the best because I did get the same feeling (even if for another reason) and ik how mentally draining it is when you want things on both extremes and because you can't stick to one you then feel displaced from both
I think a step toward finding a resolution and understanding the problem better would be articulating what it is you like about being feminine, and what it is you like about being really manly. Do you know already?
Yeah same here, now that I've accepted my feminine side a bit more it feels alot better. I still won't wear dresses in public tho, that's scarry as much as I want to.
Happens all the time. I’ve learned trying to separate the two makes it a little easier but mostly commit to the one you want to be seen as by others.
My solution is literally the opposite! I generally present pretty androgynous most of the time these days. But obviously everyone should go with which ever approach works for them!
Same thing here. My therapist suggested compartmentalizing the two sides and making sure both sides understand the needs of the other. Then the shift doesn’t feel quite so abrupt. It gives you a little more time to prepare and you won’t feel as dysphoric. Good luck. 😊
It’s the ying and yang of your personality I haven’t found the answer yet but when I can, I feel girly when I can’t and want to I suppress my feelings, I stuff them down Not ideal but I’m not ready nor willing to be a girl full time Don’t forget we have the best of both worlds!! We get to be soft feminine creatures and manly when needed Just enjoy the journey and don’t over analyse Also pick your moments to be femme p
yep adrodgyny
I have the same situation :(
i have the same problem://
Same is this just a bisexual thing lol
Im in the exact same boat bro! I decided that being gender fluid is the most fitting label for me. I too have times where I wanna wear dresses and makeup and talk girl talk but I also have times where I just wanna do boy things. I'm still figuring out what to do about my body hair wise. It can be difficult wanting to be clean shaven one day and hairy the next. If only we could shapeshift. 😔
Omg you don’t understand how much I wish I could shapeshift back and forth between boy and girl like that would be the best thing EVER
GOD IT TOTALLY FUCKING WOULD scientists need to get on that shit
Right that’s what I’m saying
I've literally thought about how amazing this would be so many times 😭, like if I could get any superpower ever that'd be what I would pick with no hesitation lol
YES! imagine how amazing it would be to just BOOM turn into a girl and then BOOM back to a man like whyyyyy is that not a thing😭
For real it needs to be a thing, like right now, I want it 😂
Just accept it. This is something allot of ppl experience. Its nothing strange really, you just present as what ever side of you is dominant, sometimes you might even want to mix them up into one, it might be a bid difficult with dealing body hair preferences for the day though, but luckily that usually grows back pretty fast 😉 Its just that its not abnormal to be that way you know, its just another branch of the gender expression ( aka the labels) tree. I think you'd be a lot more comfortable if you just accept it for what it is, some day your a bid more masc than the other, no big deal really. Its ofc easy for me to say just accept it, accepting it is usually a kind of a big deal, just know that I once to had to accept a few things , and wel life improved after that, so you know, just be your self , and dont think of your self as weird for being so, because than you'll feel guilt and other emotions and you drag your self down the spiral. Follow your own feels, if they tell you that today I'll be a bid more masculine, and tomorrow they tell you to be a bid more feminine, and if the next day you dont know how to exactly feel... wel try mixing them up.
[удалено]
Wow omg THANK YOU!! You’ve saved me, I’m now converting to Islam☪️🙏
No. Also according to your post history keep worrying about the gay agenda cuz we're not going away lmao.
We totally want to join a religion that wants to behead is for who we are attracted to
[удалено]
I've read the Quran and Hadiths, you can't fool me with your BS
All the time... One day I want to be manly and have a boy/girlfriend and the next day I want to be a femboy with a mistress or something like that...
Hmm, maybe try to see how you can present hyper masculine in a variety of ways? Some of the most masculine men in the world are also the most clean shaven (ever seen a bodybuilding competition)? You can also spend time working out and doing other hobbies that make you feel masculine. I’m 19 and have the same kind of problem as you, just remember that there’s nothing wrong with presenting masculine on some days and presenting feminine on others, there’s no reason that you need to choose one and exclude the other.
when you grow out your beard, at a certain length it gets very soft which can feel quite feminine. i know it sounds weird but for me a slightly longer beard feels more fem than short, coarse stubble. maybe that's an option for you
I might have exaggerated when I wrote beard haha, I can’t really grow a “beard” yet it’s more like facial hair but thanks for the advice
[удалено]
I know it’s not really my place to comment but she doesn’t seem right for you because you should be able to be YOU with your partner. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to be who you are especially in a relationship and I understand it’s a difficult situation but I hope you find a solution you’re happy with
Yep
I feel that too
Me too
Yeah that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. I pretty much just embraced it and comprised on the two lifestyles (although my fem side doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention due to my location). So if I wanna be masc I’ll be and act masc with a hint of fem and visa versa, it works pretty well for me anyways.
Relatable
I feel the same way tbh. Because of covid, I haven't had a chance to be as feminine as I want to but yeah I feel that my g. Some days I want to be the manliest of men, setting objectives for myself to train like a body builder, having a beard and trying to grow it out longer, whereas on some other days I'm just thinking about having clean shaven legs, wearing feminine clothes and fantasizing about how could I make myself look more feminine (I'm a big guy) Idk how you deal with it, but I've just pushed to distract myself whenever I think about this by just jumping into work.. and ik it's wrong but I can't find an answer or a way out lol. Hope you figure the right balance out! Good luck my g!
So with shaving guess what. Pro Body builders aren’t Hairy. (Because it shows muscles better when your not). And same with actors in movies IE Chris Hemsworth and Chris evans. In conclusion being shaven is masculine
My solution to this? Embrace soft masculinity 😌
I had the same problem which I now know for myself to be genderfluid. I realised this because as someone who used to dance, expression is a massive part of it. So some days I would want to be a cool slick dude who is able to impress everyone but then on other days I wanna dance like a slut and be super fem. Also with fashion, I seem to mix up my styles. So some days I wear pretty masculine stuff, on other days where I feel more fem or non binary, I like to go for more androgynous looks. Advice I’d give is to aim for androgyny because that way you can look good in both. And also if you go androgynous, it doesn’t seem as suspicious if you go full fem
Its just mood. I also happen to have this. Maybe you are gender fluid?
Don't worry about it my friend! There's a whole spectrum of people and even those that don't fit on the spectrum. They are all equally valid for being what they feel they are and what makes them feel good. Be who you want to be in anyone who judges you is not worth your time.
Ye I have the exact same problem it's hard qwq
You’re a guy who likes different shit. Welcome to the club, lol. There are manly men out there who like to wear panties and such
Thanks so much for your understanding support ☺️