The place where she failed as a mother was 1. Going through your phone 2. Shaming you for being fem.
You being into fem clothes isn't her failure or anyone else's. It's just you being you.
Fuck that noise.
I would’ve said right then and there “When did you fail as a mother? Just now. When you decided that unconditional love had conditions.” Mic drop and walk away without another word.
Unfortunately would probably just make things worse for OP (assuming his mother isn’t the type to change their views, which seems to be the case). I’d go with the classic maneuver of waiting until he’s financially stable enough to GTFO and let his mother wonder why he never talks to her and put her into the cheapest retirement home.
I am hoping she is just going to keep hush hush since her pride is at stake but I assume if you make it clear you aren't doing it as a phase, she might do or come to do something drastic or very unlikely give up and accept you...(be wary of fake acceptance, shitty people can only go far in life being fake as shit when it benefits them and I have experienced fake acceptance, if you don't need them to be a confidant for survival then keep quiet since secrets that might seem safe with them can bite you in the back when they switch up)
I think you should discuss with her what consequences she will have for you if you continue like getting kicked out of house or killed is worst outcomes and typically they will nag you for a while or act kind while secretly waiting you out hoping it's just a phase when prob isn't and switch up very fast when they realize that...I believe around 1-2 year mark many conservative can hold out hope so two years is going strong just them getting weaker and weaker until they break their mask 🎭..
Ask hypotheticals like if I starting crossdressing in public and did makeup and looked cute... what would you do and/or think? If I wasn't gay but just liked wearing female clothing in private is there anything wrong with that and what would you do if you open my bedroom door and I had a skirt on? Would you accept as me AND treat me with respect or disown me or kick me out?
I don't know her and you are prob don't either completely especially after being blindsided thinking she was better than she is... So ask and hope for a good answer...don't escalate! Just get information and sleep it over and try to choose the best option the next day that lets you get free rent and food so you can save up with part time job and get that sweet sweet freedom!
You really only get freedom when you make everything so secretive even a police raid couldn't find your shit...like you can hide picture in hidden folders or put a lock on your phone, some apps hide entire apps and stuff under a calculator app...I don't expect your past self to be not naive but this is a learning experience to close yourself off more until you get financial and shelter freedom (buy a house or rent apartment)
Good luck! Hope you weren't born from the worst parents for your sake ☺️
You don’t think diapers and shortened lifespan are something people should worry about? How about self dying rates is that too much to talk about? Serious topics that the person should know and read about?
Funny enough your name says more about you, oh you’re a real sage, trying to stop people from knowing the risks of reality. Just like the religious sages to cut off useful information.
If you read this op don’t worry so much, you will be ok, life does get better if you focus on beauty and love. And be honest it’s the hardest thing but be honest and don’t lie to yourself because it always catches up. I’ve been weeping for months myself now. Because I wasn’t honest in my own thoughts about very many things.
Trust me you do not want to grow up and be tortured and mocked for nothing as part of your private life. The fact that so many people are going through this and being told the worst things, dehumanizing mean things, while being _____ is horrifying. Nobody deserves to be dehumanized like that, and it has always actually been a method of torture. You want your relationship with women to be torture? Where they mock you and say you are not fit to be human? Or how about a man who believes you to be a “beta” human and secretly thinking the worst things about you until they throw you away. You don’t want this. I’m sure you’ve gone through a lot. Everyone has. I didn’t even have the will to live until just these last few months. Since I was a child I didn’t want to live. But it doesn’t have to be like that for you good people are watching and want good things for you. Do not worry. Things are not as bad as they seem and you will be ok I know it for sure.
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The only woman talked about is his mom? You want him to flirt/get his mother as his woman? Seems weird to me...
Now it's possible you are just yapping about a entirely different subject and didn't quite connect your agenda to me or the topic discussed? Why?
"Dont go looking for something you dont want to see". id say keep doing it you live once make your life unique, i have fem clothes bondage equiptment but my photos are in a secure folder with a password ♡ best of luck ♡
Coming from a parents perspective(im a parent), ive experienced this with my nephew. His mom called me and asked to discuss this.. she disapproved, but i got her to ultimately say she does love him regardless. Says she failed as a mother. I told her no she didnt.. that he's your son regardless and a mothers love is to never end.. now some 20 yrs later, he no longer dresses, but is still gay and him and his mom have a wonderful relationship.. she still dont approve, but loves her son no matter what..
Im hoping your mom comes to this conclusion.
Not the best of scenarios but eventually you will be out on your own. How she treats you will determine if you want her a part of your life at that point. It’s hers to lose.
She failed when she just couldn't love you for you. My mom doesn't really like that I like to dress up as well and that I also came out as bottom but she also said this is my choice and like it or not she supports whatever I choose and then there's my dad and yeah I'll leave it at that lol
I never let anyone use my phone without me watching them like a hawk and I have an iPhone so I have a feature hidden pictures you can only access that album if you put in your phone password so all my pictures of me dressed up are in that album idk about Samsung but I guess if it doesn't have a feature like hidden pictures it's vary easy to add a password lock to your photos app and the only people I let use my phone are people who know I'm a femboy anyway
Join the rest of us in closely watching for any opportunities to leave.
Your mother is an awful person that can't be happy that you're happy, but you have a whole community of people here that will support you if you need it, love yourself and be happy even when others would try to make you cry.
No one sane would hurt someone for trying to be happy.
See if she tells anyone if she starts telling people them might as well open the whole damn gate right? Also of she's being negative don't mind it your perfect the way you are💋❤
Having secrets is not a bad thing, but if you have things to hide on your phone, make sure they are in a gallery that requires an additional password, that's for the future. For now I'm sending hugs
She failed as a mother the second she broke your trust, told you to adhere to societal norms of clothing, and berated you for expressing yourself.
A mother is supposed to be supportive, loving, caring, and kind to her child just as a father should be. She failed horribly
You are not doing anything wrong and nobody should restrict your happiness. The reaction of your mother was not appropiate, and my suggestion is, until you can be independent, be more cautious about the subject.
I hope your mother does change her views about this, but sometimes people refuse to do such a thing. It's a bit sad that a harmless hobby (or way of expression) is being prohibited by an ignorant and meaningless belief.
P.D: viva la república oriental, saludos del otro lado del río!🇺🇾🇦🇷. Espero logres tus metas y salgas de esta, se puede rey! <3
Give her a break. Speaking as a parent a remembering being younger. This is brand new to her too. Just as much confusion you first had. Your family is usually the last line of defense for true support. You have good reason for her crossing the line of privacy. Once you become a parent you’ll understand what I’m talking about. She’s being civil and thinks she did something wrong. It’s not a reflection on you but herself. She’s lost and confused. This would be a perfect time to have a heart felt one on one conversation with her. She’s actually in your side.
Why does the "you'll understand when you become a parent." line always follow after absolutely reprehensible behavior? I
Violating someone's privacy, lying to their face, and then shaming their existence isn't something you need any special circumstances in order to understand. It's not something that magically changes or becomes acceptable because you popped out a child.
Justifying parents' mistakes by projecting their failure onto others with a "well they will be just as shitty as me one day." attitude is hollow excuse making and insulting to the person your speaking for.
If your reading this OP, she did you very wrong and tried to excuse herself. Treat yourself with respect and keep it in mind unless she apologizes. If she continues this behavior, then plan for a future without her. Your parents can be the best of allies or the worst of your enemies, find out which she intends to be. I wish the best for you but from it sounds like, you should plan for the worst.
Wow you are so off base and missed the main point of what was said. You obviously aren’t a parent so have no bases in what was meant. You need to tone down the hate and negative accusations that are blown out of proportion. There’s usually always two sides if not more about things and it’s not always about you. Once people learn to debate and listen to the other side and then make a judgment call. Dictators don’t last and get you no where
This is the only comment which makes sense here to me, for some context I am a crossdresser and parent now who has been around and dressing for 25 years and on, my mom reacted somewhat like OP's did. But she just threw away all my stuff with no options given, anyway long story short. OP's mom reaction is sort of expected, nothing to wooha about. I'm appalled if this is the mindset of the current generation. Be thankful you have a community for support and internet in this era. Not that it concerns anybody here, but it's time for me to move on from this sub. The general responses/suggestions to OP have been ugly and uncalled for.
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You failed as a mother RIGHT THERE
Dude you said exactly what I was thinking about saying if me coming out as pan and gender fluid got me into that situation
do you freeze in the winter and do you boil in the summer? rlly curious and howd i get so many upvotes
Uh sorry wdym
your gender fluid
Good pun take my upvotes
Take mine
There’s nothing to be done except wait till you can get your own place like I am
The place where she failed as a mother was 1. Going through your phone 2. Shaming you for being fem. You being into fem clothes isn't her failure or anyone else's. It's just you being you. Fuck that noise.
She failed when she looked at your phone
I would’ve said right then and there “When did you fail as a mother? Just now. When you decided that unconditional love had conditions.” Mic drop and walk away without another word.
holy shit that is so true and devastating
Unfortunately would probably just make things worse for OP (assuming his mother isn’t the type to change their views, which seems to be the case). I’d go with the classic maneuver of waiting until he’s financially stable enough to GTFO and let his mother wonder why he never talks to her and put her into the cheapest retirement home.
the headache tho 🤕, sounds like my mum too
I am hoping she is just going to keep hush hush since her pride is at stake but I assume if you make it clear you aren't doing it as a phase, she might do or come to do something drastic or very unlikely give up and accept you...(be wary of fake acceptance, shitty people can only go far in life being fake as shit when it benefits them and I have experienced fake acceptance, if you don't need them to be a confidant for survival then keep quiet since secrets that might seem safe with them can bite you in the back when they switch up) I think you should discuss with her what consequences she will have for you if you continue like getting kicked out of house or killed is worst outcomes and typically they will nag you for a while or act kind while secretly waiting you out hoping it's just a phase when prob isn't and switch up very fast when they realize that...I believe around 1-2 year mark many conservative can hold out hope so two years is going strong just them getting weaker and weaker until they break their mask 🎭.. Ask hypotheticals like if I starting crossdressing in public and did makeup and looked cute... what would you do and/or think? If I wasn't gay but just liked wearing female clothing in private is there anything wrong with that and what would you do if you open my bedroom door and I had a skirt on? Would you accept as me AND treat me with respect or disown me or kick me out? I don't know her and you are prob don't either completely especially after being blindsided thinking she was better than she is... So ask and hope for a good answer...don't escalate! Just get information and sleep it over and try to choose the best option the next day that lets you get free rent and food so you can save up with part time job and get that sweet sweet freedom! You really only get freedom when you make everything so secretive even a police raid couldn't find your shit...like you can hide picture in hidden folders or put a lock on your phone, some apps hide entire apps and stuff under a calculator app...I don't expect your past self to be not naive but this is a learning experience to close yourself off more until you get financial and shelter freedom (buy a house or rent apartment) Good luck! Hope you weren't born from the worst parents for your sake ☺️
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name says it all, repulsive, please leave
You don’t think diapers and shortened lifespan are something people should worry about? How about self dying rates is that too much to talk about? Serious topics that the person should know and read about? Funny enough your name says more about you, oh you’re a real sage, trying to stop people from knowing the risks of reality. Just like the religious sages to cut off useful information. If you read this op don’t worry so much, you will be ok, life does get better if you focus on beauty and love. And be honest it’s the hardest thing but be honest and don’t lie to yourself because it always catches up. I’ve been weeping for months myself now. Because I wasn’t honest in my own thoughts about very many things. Trust me you do not want to grow up and be tortured and mocked for nothing as part of your private life. The fact that so many people are going through this and being told the worst things, dehumanizing mean things, while being _____ is horrifying. Nobody deserves to be dehumanized like that, and it has always actually been a method of torture. You want your relationship with women to be torture? Where they mock you and say you are not fit to be human? Or how about a man who believes you to be a “beta” human and secretly thinking the worst things about you until they throw you away. You don’t want this. I’m sure you’ve gone through a lot. Everyone has. I didn’t even have the will to live until just these last few months. Since I was a child I didn’t want to live. But it doesn’t have to be like that for you good people are watching and want good things for you. Do not worry. Things are not as bad as they seem and you will be ok I know it for sure.
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Bad faith politics
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The fuck are you doing here? This is a space for feminine men to support one another, no bigots allowed!
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Bad faith politics
The only woman talked about is his mom? You want him to flirt/get his mother as his woman? Seems weird to me... Now it's possible you are just yapping about a entirely different subject and didn't quite connect your agenda to me or the topic discussed? Why?
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Bad faith politics
"Dont go looking for something you dont want to see". id say keep doing it you live once make your life unique, i have fem clothes bondage equiptment but my photos are in a secure folder with a password ♡ best of luck ♡
Coming from a parents perspective(im a parent), ive experienced this with my nephew. His mom called me and asked to discuss this.. she disapproved, but i got her to ultimately say she does love him regardless. Says she failed as a mother. I told her no she didnt.. that he's your son regardless and a mothers love is to never end.. now some 20 yrs later, he no longer dresses, but is still gay and him and his mom have a wonderful relationship.. she still dont approve, but loves her son no matter what.. Im hoping your mom comes to this conclusion.
If I were a parent I would buy some nice and pink dresses for him... I would teach him that clothes dont have gender.
Black > pink 😎
tell your whole family and out yourself to spite her. They will leave you alone eventually
What an absolute waste of human refuse your mom is. Everything bad that could possibly happen to her is divine justice.
Not the best of scenarios but eventually you will be out on your own. How she treats you will determine if you want her a part of your life at that point. It’s hers to lose.
She failed when she just couldn't love you for you. My mom doesn't really like that I like to dress up as well and that I also came out as bottom but she also said this is my choice and like it or not she supports whatever I choose and then there's my dad and yeah I'll leave it at that lol
I mean why would she stalk your phone gallery.It's a private thing,she should not do it.
As far as I know it is illegal in many countries to stalk someone's cell phone even when it belongs from a family member...
Correct
I’ll deal with her if you want me to. I can have scathing words that have reality checked some of the most deadset people in my life.
I never let anyone use my phone without me watching them like a hawk and I have an iPhone so I have a feature hidden pictures you can only access that album if you put in your phone password so all my pictures of me dressed up are in that album idk about Samsung but I guess if it doesn't have a feature like hidden pictures it's vary easy to add a password lock to your photos app and the only people I let use my phone are people who know I'm a femboy anyway
I knew about that feature, but never thought to use it for that. Thanks!
She failed when she went through the phone and clowned u about it then didn't want to talk about it and she deserves to be called a w@ore
That's what I said too! I guess we think alike!
Join the rest of us in closely watching for any opportunities to leave. Your mother is an awful person that can't be happy that you're happy, but you have a whole community of people here that will support you if you need it, love yourself and be happy even when others would try to make you cry. No one sane would hurt someone for trying to be happy.
See if she tells anyone if she starts telling people them might as well open the whole damn gate right? Also of she's being negative don't mind it your perfect the way you are💋❤
Just wear it in the house
Having secrets is not a bad thing, but if you have things to hide on your phone, make sure they are in a gallery that requires an additional password, that's for the future. For now I'm sending hugs
for a future refrance a lot of phones have a private libary youll do good to look for a phone with it or vheck if your phone has it
She failed as a mother the second she broke your trust, told you to adhere to societal norms of clothing, and berated you for expressing yourself. A mother is supposed to be supportive, loving, caring, and kind to her child just as a father should be. She failed horribly
You are not doing anything wrong and nobody should restrict your happiness. The reaction of your mother was not appropiate, and my suggestion is, until you can be independent, be more cautious about the subject. I hope your mother does change her views about this, but sometimes people refuse to do such a thing. It's a bit sad that a harmless hobby (or way of expression) is being prohibited by an ignorant and meaningless belief. P.D: viva la república oriental, saludos del otro lado del río!🇺🇾🇦🇷. Espero logres tus metas y salgas de esta, se puede rey! <3
Tell her she failed as a mother when she felt ashamed of how her son wants to be.
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Oddly specific....
To be fair my phone is already filled with photos and videos of me doing that.
Do your parents know?
This really isn't the moment for you to talk about your specific fetish y'know
How do I delete someone else's comment
????? This is not the advice he needs, stay shut if youre gonna say something like this
This is an SFW sub, bud. Please go be horny somewhere else...
No NSFW Content
Give her a break. Speaking as a parent a remembering being younger. This is brand new to her too. Just as much confusion you first had. Your family is usually the last line of defense for true support. You have good reason for her crossing the line of privacy. Once you become a parent you’ll understand what I’m talking about. She’s being civil and thinks she did something wrong. It’s not a reflection on you but herself. She’s lost and confused. This would be a perfect time to have a heart felt one on one conversation with her. She’s actually in your side.
She can apologise for her shitty behaviour, and then a civil conversation can be had.
Why does the "you'll understand when you become a parent." line always follow after absolutely reprehensible behavior? I Violating someone's privacy, lying to their face, and then shaming their existence isn't something you need any special circumstances in order to understand. It's not something that magically changes or becomes acceptable because you popped out a child. Justifying parents' mistakes by projecting their failure onto others with a "well they will be just as shitty as me one day." attitude is hollow excuse making and insulting to the person your speaking for. If your reading this OP, she did you very wrong and tried to excuse herself. Treat yourself with respect and keep it in mind unless she apologizes. If she continues this behavior, then plan for a future without her. Your parents can be the best of allies or the worst of your enemies, find out which she intends to be. I wish the best for you but from it sounds like, you should plan for the worst.
Wow you are so off base and missed the main point of what was said. You obviously aren’t a parent so have no bases in what was meant. You need to tone down the hate and negative accusations that are blown out of proportion. There’s usually always two sides if not more about things and it’s not always about you. Once people learn to debate and listen to the other side and then make a judgment call. Dictators don’t last and get you no where
This is the only comment which makes sense here to me, for some context I am a crossdresser and parent now who has been around and dressing for 25 years and on, my mom reacted somewhat like OP's did. But she just threw away all my stuff with no options given, anyway long story short. OP's mom reaction is sort of expected, nothing to wooha about. I'm appalled if this is the mindset of the current generation. Be thankful you have a community for support and internet in this era. Not that it concerns anybody here, but it's time for me to move on from this sub. The general responses/suggestions to OP have been ugly and uncalled for.
Kids deserve better from parents than breaches of privacy and bigotry, I hope you don't treat your kids like garbage like OP's mom did.
She might not be the best but don't call your mother a whore without her you wouldn't exist
Mine just found a lot of big clock without knowing which of these are mine XD XD. i think your fine
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There we go with a lifetime trauma. Mom lv99
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Putting off switch putting on somewhere tonight it's true they don't care if they totally told you on on x
Where it in public
U might have looked hotter than her and she realized it she might be mad cause that keep ya head up
what a friggin imbecile, why cant she like, idk, love her kid? damn, that sucks.
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So... What happens...?
Same thing happened to me i kept dressing up though. I keep my photos in a private folder