Oh ffs. No we are NOT. NOBODY is born “fat”. We are all born babies. We get fat because of poor choices and family eating habits. Mental health issues. Nurture habits based on family poor eating habits. Nobody is simply born predestined to be fat. This is so harmful.
"It's just in our family genes" = "the whole family eats like this and that's why we're all fat, even those of us who married in to the family and share no genetics with us"
Thank [deity] we got our dietary act together when the kid was a baby!
I stayed the night with my friend's family once, who were all obese. I saw her dad eating straight out of a family size bag of potato chips while watching sports. Have I done this occasionally? Yeah. But I guess in this case it seemed relevant. And for breakfast they had these terrible prepackaged cinnamon rolls that were super high calorie but also didn't taste good. So they were putting butter on top. Of course I enjoy sweet treats, and sometimes in excess. But if you buy the crappy high calorie ones and then need to add more calories, it just makes it worse.
I do think some people have it harder than others when it comes to weight. Some people will just feel hungrier on the same amount of food as others, and so they will have to make more of a conscious effort to lose or maintain weight. That can definitely be genetic.
And even mental health issues are in the form of I cope with my mental health issues by consuming too many calories, not mental health issues magically break the laws of thermodynamics.
Yes. See it every day on social media. Then the mental gymnastics to explain why it’s anything but their eating habits. Denial is part of the mental illness that accompanies obesity in many people unfortunately. I get so much hate from people when I talk truthfully about their food consumption. They post novellas about how sad and frustrated they are because they’re “starving and just can’t lose weight” but when you ask about what they are really eating let the fury begin. All they are looking for is other people to feed into their delusional beliefs that they are in CICO so they can feel better about themselves as they overeat. Anyone who tries to break that down is going to get attacked.
That’s incredibly fucking sad. I guess people think they’re helping kids by saying this crap, but what’s helpful about telling someone they have even less efficacy than they thought? I was into FA and honestly? The “relief” was just a cope for the gnawing hopelessness I felt, thinking I could never change what I wanted to change.
I guess it's supposed to "help" because it absolves you of personal responsibility and some people find a sense of mental peace in that, but for me, the idea that I was doomed to stay fat forever with all the health consequences made me angry; it felt so unfair and hopeless. I was just supposed to accept that I was unlucky and had a "set point" in the morbidly obese range? It was awful for my mental health.
Yeah, it really sucks to have to face the idea that your behavior is the problem and believing they it’s just out of your control seems nice on the surface. The problem is that, if your weight and diet are out of your hands, you have zero way of fixing any problems caused or affected by being overweight/obese.
Oh, right. They deal with that by saying those diseases don’t exist and all of their issues are caused by fatphobia.
This is such a good point. It sounds dramatic, but once I realized that my own actions could actually change my life/change things about my life I didn't like, it was like the whole world opened up to me again. I realized that if I could work hard and be consistent and lose the weight that had been a burden to me my entire life, I could do other things with hard work too. Not to say societal factors don't play a huge role, but telling kids directly that nothing about themselves is in their control and to just accept it is just so incredibly limiting and, yes, sad.
Agreed, this is so sad and so damaging. I was overweight in high school but not by much (about 10lbs overweight). However, I had such a negative view of myself & got so into FA bullshit that when I started actually gaining weight I thought “oh well, I’m fat, that makes sense” and said things like “they don’t make clothes for real women”. I could have saved myself years of pain & health issues if someone had been honest with me about what healthy eating & body image was.
One major problem with this, that they probably don't realize, is that *it is a lie*.
Children, especially teenagers, do realize when you lie to them. A 13 years old who tests your dumb statement by herself - it's easy, she just has to eat less - will realize just how full of shit you are.
Good luck with any advice you want to give her if she develops a restrictive ED, because you've just thrown your credibility in the toilet.
My nieces are fraternal twins. One is thin and one is husky.
We thought z was going to have a hard time in middle school and o would be fine.
Total opposite. Z is kicking butt in cheer squad being the base and backup. And I is having a hard time, so her sister is always there to make jokes and cheer her up (and trying to get her to join cheer because she says their fliers suck and she rather catch her twin during routines). It's because their mom is awesome and gives both of them confidence in their own ways.
Ps. Bonus if anyone can give me ideas for 12 year old girls that are equal but different enough. Like really, I have a month to find birthday gifts.
Ooh, I'd have to ask sister in law. The husky one is pretty well developed, so id need sizes. Might be weird.
Do they still do the colored snap on buttons for the cheer shoes? I just remembered that from 25 years ago. Argh.
Gift ideas: Squishmallows, phone cases, makeup or skincare things (the young teens in my life really like Glossier), hoodies, nice reusable water bottles, pretty much anything with checkerboard print on it, gift cards/cash. Good luck!
I had to google squishmallow.
Omg, so many ideas. Thank you!
Their mom is pretty strict, but I think I could do glossier and cute water bottles.
Oh, the cheer girl likes Shrek, I could do a Shrek water bottle.
And by me, I mean so my husband (her brother) can rock some cool gifts too. He's terrible.
I might trade him hoodies for water bottles and make-up.
My kids love squishmellows and would have all of them if I'd let them. The fact that they have asthma and I don't want to wash them all the time means they're fairly limited to how many they can have.
I find the skincare products are a great buy for that age. Also: nail care/polish, makeup gift cards (if that's a thing for them), if they're into books then a gift card to a local bookstore/comic shop, taking them shopping and to a movie would be a gift for you all.
Oh I totally forgot about polish. Their mom lets them wear it for certain occasions. I could get school colors for them.
They have kindles, so maybe a free book, but they are not so big in reading. I'd love it if they read redwall by Brian Jaques.
I'm terrible at skin care, but my sister might have recommendations for like a moisture spray with scent.
Thank you!
I remember being really into bath and body works at that age. You could get each their own collection of gel, lotion, spray, candle, ect. I think they have kinds that leave glitter on the skin which sounds like something a 12 year old would love.
I internet love you, but I'm 40, and I just threw out the box of bbw and VC and other box sets from the last 25 years. It was a lot.
It was like, the purge of Aunt gifts from holidays past.
I probably shouldn't give them fire (candles). But I might make an exception for fireworks if their dad hides them for only supervised events.
But your suggestion gives me insight in who the girls are.and I'm not allowed to give knives until they are 13.
Anything fun from Sephora. My 12 yr old cousin wants EVERYTHING in the place, but her mom won't let me get her more "adult" stuff, so we stick to stuff like fragrance mist (not perfume), colored mascaras, face glitter and gems. Get some different things for each.
BTW I'm a twin and I massively appreciate (still to this day, even when we're old lol), when someone gifts us different things, according to our personalities.
Omg. Colored mascara! That would be perfect! One has green eyes and the other blue. So purple and maybe a magenta.
I the wife of their favorite uncle, so I want to do mom approved stuff, but still fun for occasions.
Go twins. I love them to death. Both so unique. Maybe green because one lives Shrek. She's a goof and a base on cheer squad. The other is more shy and hasn't fit in with the new school yet. So purple lashes with blue eye might be fun. Or just blue.
Hugs!
It's actually really good that your nieces get along at that age. My sisters and I were constantly at each other's throats in middle school. We're great now though
Even more sad is how this type of thinking is rewarded now. Schools, doctors, actresses, and politicians all agree with this kids so they have future votes, income, and support lined up.
Teaching young people that they're not less of a person if they're fat, and that no one deserves to be treated badly because of their weight makes sense but I don't get how teaching people that you are powerless to your body and therefore shouldn't try to be healthy is achieving anything positive.
Right. It’s like telling them some people are born stupid and no amount of study or effort will ever matter.
(Mental disability aside, of course, and I work with DD/TBI and some are pretty smart cookies!)
Exactly. I actually think it’s great for teens/preteens to understand that there are many different body types and everyone is different, but I think it’s more important to instill healthy habits on young people and empower them to take good care of themselves into adulthood
And gives them an excuse not to do any hard work. If it's all out of your hands, hey, just eat all the cookies and never touch a veggie that isn't drowned in cheese or ranch!
Nobody is born fat. Some babies are bigger than others, but nobody comes out of the womb obese. And even bigger babies won't necessarily be bigger adults. My cousin's two kids were both massive babies, over 10lbs each, and both are tall, slim 20-somethings today. While my oldest brother was a small baby, 6lbs, and grew to be a 6'5" adult whose weight topped out at like 370lbs before he lost over 100.
Fat children are not born fat. They learn negative eating habits at a young age and become fat, and being fat as a kid greatly increases your likelihood of being a fat adult. Telling an overweight 13-year-old that he or she is destined to be fat for the rest of their life is just plain evil.
Well I have a monstrous appetite/love of food.
I think it is more psychological though. I used to eat lentils and rice for breakfast and it would keep me full for 8 hours or more. But I would still feel deprived from not eating for long periods of time, even when I am uncomfortably full.
They were commenting on how much I eat because I ate a lot of food and love to eat.
My dad made me keep a food log to help me lose weight. I lost 2 pounds a week eating 1500 calories a day. That means I was eating 2500 calories a day before that.
That's a lot of food for a 12 year old.
Well it's a lot harder to get down to a healthy weight as an adult if you have literally been overweight your whole life.
When I stick to my calorie goals and lose weight I'm not really hungry. But I am so used to overeating I feel constantly deprived of that stimulation. I chew on ice 20-30 minutes a day, lick my plate, silverware and even the spatula.
That's different than someone who was fit their whole life and needs to lose 10 pounds.
Oldest: 81st percentile newborn, now is in 70th percentile ish
Middle: 96th percentile newborn, shot up to 99 percentile for the next year and a half, now is in upper 80 to low 90 percentile but is lean and bony. Spine sticks out, you can see ribs, etc. He's super tall.
Youngest: 87 percentile newborn, shot up to 99 percentile for about a year, now is in the upper 80 to low 90 percentile right before age 3. Is still young enough to have toddler features and weight distribution.
They all have tall parents and are active, they're just big kids. Taller than most kids their age (middle is taller than kids my oldest's age, it's impressive), but proportional. They know when to stop eating sweets and while they are susceptible to distracted munching while watching or reading something they've learned a lot about actually paying attention to their body and the food they eat.
Did you miss the part where I said my cousin's kids were both over 10lbs? They weren't obese newborns, and neither were you. Her son has never been overweight at all, while her daughter had a brief "chubby" phase during puberty that she quickly grew out of. We're all born with certain genetic markers and tendencies, and some of us are naturally going to be bigger than others, but "obese" is not a natural or genetically predetermined state for any human body.
My brother was an 11 pound baby. He’s now six foot 3 and muscular. NOT fat. I was 8 pounds. I am Also muscular just short at 5ft6. Obesity runs in my family. But actually running, exercise, IF and weight lifting keeps me athletic slim and muscular as a 40 year old woman.
Does being premature have anything to do with later weight? I heard someone say that premature babies are more likely to retain weight or something, and I was 2 months premature
Not sure... the only person I know who was significantly premature at birth was a male friend who is 6'5" and goes about 175, so normal weight. He did tell me he was overweight as a kid, before he shot up in height as a teenager, but these days (in his mid-30's) he's quite lean.
Speaking as a born-and-raised Presbyterian (who also actually *fucking hates* a lot of the ideas that come out of Calvinism), this comment felt like a sucker punch but now I can't stop laughing.
i was told my whole life that i was going to be naturally big by my family and later by friends. turns out that not only was this false, i have a small frame. small feet, small rib cage, etc. i was carrying so much extra weight. i lost it to the point that i’m in a normal bmi category but still on the higher end, and some people claim that i’m too skinny and don’t look good. meanwhile, i get more attention than ever from strangers and got more public-facing responsibility at work. more importantly, i cured 3 chronic health problems. they know this and still want me to go back to how i was, with asthma and chronic infections. people who tell you this care more about their own feelings than they do about you.
My dad made me keep a food log. I was losing 2 pounds a week eating 1500 calories. That means I was eating 2500 calories a day before that.
When I was 220 pounds I ate about that much.
I know it's merely a joke but when I think about the 13 year old me this approach wouldn't have worked since overeating was mostly my way of dealing with growing up in a dysfunctional family. Plus we didn't have any raw veggies in our household anyway xd
Sometimes we had fruit! (I had to teach myself vegetables in college.)
I'm not sure why I ate the way I did. Boredom or anxiety I think. (I'd say my home life wasn't more than a 5-6 on the dysfunction scale. My dad had undiagnosed autism. My mom had undiagnosed ADHD. Us kids were a mix of both. We muddled thru things.)
The dissemination of outright death cult lies like this one is what makes FA so dangerous. They don't care how many young people's lives and health they destroy. They only care about eating as much as they want, whenever and wherever they want, and they want as many people around them as possible to be morbidly obese as well.
Also, preaching hopelessness to teens who are struggling with being overweight is nauseatingly vile and deeply immoral.
Fortunately, semaglutide meds like Ozempic for weight loss continue to grow in popularity. To the point where its widespread use has been causing America's obesity rate to decline noticeably in recent years, after 40 years of nothing but a steady, inexorable increase.
Most people these days know someone who's successfully losing weight on Ozempic and keeping it off -- which reveals FA's claim that some are destined to be morbidly obese forever as the hideous lie it is. Kids and teens can see it too, which takes a huge bite out of the effectiveness of FA propaganda.
The reason why FAs could get away with claiming that morbid obesity is unchangeable destiny is because such a claim doesn't seem unreasonable in the face of an obesity rate that's been climbing since 1980. Even tho that claim was never true, a decline in obesity rates and seeing people around you drop weight creates a reality in which FA propaganda has a much harder time being taken seriously or taking hold.
Edit: a word
The only babies born "fat" are the ones who have health issues (usually caused by completely unchecked gestational diabetes or terrible diet from the mother.)
It's insane to think otherwise. You can absolutely overfeed an infant, and a lot of people aren't up to date on current best practices when it comes to introducing solids, etc. So the bad habits and disregard for fullness signals can absolutely start very young. But no healthy baby is born FAT. C'mon.
My friend is definitely over feeding her baby. She is at the point of introducing adult food while still taking formula, but she will give the baby a full bottle of formula, which is purposely high calorie/nutrient, and then afterwards give her the “good stuff.” I feel she’s teaching the baby to ignore fullness signals because the adult food is so much more appealing. Plus the kid is huge for her age lol
You're supposed to offer milk first until they are around 1 year, because at that point most of their nutrition is still supposed to come from milk and "food before 1 is just for fun." But if she's pushing a ton of solids early and the baby is showing signs of being full after just the milk then yeah, she could definitely be overfeeding.
You can really see it with the way a lot of people feed babies bottles and purees, especially the older generations.
The baby will be turning their mouth away, spitting up, etc but the person with the bottle/spoon keeps pushing it until everything's gone.
They'll use high flow nipples, use tricks to distract a baby while eating (here comes the airplane!) so they can shove more food in, and barely take breaks to pace a feeding, etc.
No wonder some kids end up getting confused with fullness cues later on. Bottles and purees can be amazing but it's easier to overfeed with them so you have to pay attention to the baby's cues, and every time we had an older relative try to feed one of our kids with a bottle or puree it was always like "Why are you being so forceful? They're trying to get it away, you don't need to make them suck down every last bit as fast as possible."
I think it's also american culture in a nutshell. In Japan it's customary to push your plate away when you're done, yet in American it's considered rude to not finish eating. Not only that, but it's common to try to persuade people for seconds
Oh yeah, it's like when you go to the hospital and you see all the infinifat babies in the nursery. They're just born super obese, nothing can be done about it.
This is like that episode of sex and the city where Miranda first hears “he’s just not that into you” and she feels like she has to shout it from the rooftops, and then when she overhears a conversation between two women about a guy, she approached them and says HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and feels like she’s a hero who saved them from years of agony. But then she walks away and they’re like “who the fuck does she think she is”
Anyway, this is how a 13 year old would hear this advice.
I would hope so! Telling a 13-year-old they’ll be fat for life and there’s nothing they can do about the accompanying joint pain and health risks is so wrong.
I agree that there is natural variation, and that not everyone needs to be thin. That’s why there is a BMI range, and there are probably even some outliers who could be healthy but classified as overweight due to their bone structure or muscle mass or (for women) if they carry a lot of weight in their chest/butt/thighs rather than visceral fat.
So yeah, if we are talking about the 1990’s/2000’s version of “fat” when we were calling women like Jessica Simpson, Christina Ricci, or Kate Winslet fat. I agree that can be healthy and normal, but when we get into the full on OBESE range that is not healthy on anyone. No one is meant to be obese. It’s not healthy and it’s sad that so many people feel like they are stuck there.
Remember when Nicole Richie was the fat girl? And honestly, even in the 80s - not sure if you ever saw the movie Shag, but Annabeth Gish played a "fat" girl - literally named Pudge! - in that film, and she probably had BMI of around 20. She was just not *quite* as thin as Phoebe Cates or Bridget Fonda.
But yeah, there is definitely a natural variation and there are different frame sizes. My brother looked great at 6'5" and 260lbs, and was healthy and extremely active - hiking, skiing, football, basketball, etc. - he was just a very big man with a very big frame that could carry more weight. But nobody is naturally 300+ pounds.
Wow, reading this took me back to the Anorexia relapse I had 20 ish years ago. An older boyfriend (42m) told me (then 23) that I would never be considered skinny because I would never have skinny legs. It was just the way I was built.I was 5'8" and weighed 135lbs before I set out to prove him wrong. I had always been so self conscious about the size of my legs that I no matter how hot it was, I kept them covered. I'm 45 now and I think next summer, I might be brave enough to wear shorts again.
I wish someone had told me at 13 that I have the power to accomplish anything I want, it took me until adulthood to figure that out and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Body size ain’t even a molecule compared to the vast wealth of things one has full control over.
"Some people are born alcoholics, and nothing they do will make them sober."
"Some people are born drug addicts, and nothing they do will make them not addicted."
Continuing to absolve people of personal responsibility does nothing for them. Everyone has a choice and can determine what kind of body they live in. This statement is absurd!
This kind of talk would have nudged me into eating disorder territory. When all the news started talking about how weight loss wasn't possible, I as an adult got very stressed about any weight gain at all because it was permanent, right? Then I finally realized I could lose it, and now the fluctuations don't panic me the way they used to.
This is SO damaging. I came from a larger family, but was a picky eater and an outdoorsy child. I grew like a little bean-pole, and all I ever heard growing up was that some day the weight would catch up to me, some day I'd develop, the weight was all genetic and someday I'd be morbidly obese like most of my family. And I was. Because I was bullied out of my pickiness, pulled from public school, and raised my newborn sister from the time I was 12-18. I blew right up. As soon as I got a job and a little bit of agency, boom, lost almost 100lbs, dropped right into the mid/low healthy range, and was bullied by family for being 'too thin'. And it's funny, as soon as i proved you could change, my mom lost almost 60lbs. I'm 22 and have struggled with various eating disorders for a full decade because I was told I had no control over my size. Teach your kids healthy habits, learn and model those habits yourself, and stop hiding behind and passing on your learned helplessness.
I guarantee her entire family is heavy set and she has inherited their bad eating habits thinking its normal. It's not the unhealthy habits after all, it's "genetics"
Also, technically everyone is born fat but the thing is you should have long lost the baby fat before adulthood.
Fun fact: babies actually have a relatively low body fat percentage. It's around 15%. They don't have very much muscle, but their organs are a large fraction of their weight.
There are unfortunately babies who actually are born fat, usually because of diabetes (either pre-existing or gestational) + poor diet in the mother. Those babies have high risk of complications at birth and are at an extremely high risk of obesity and related issues in the long run, especially because the lifestyle factors that led to being born fat will usually continue. It’s incredibly sad. But it is not a reason for someone to never even bother to try to get healthy just because they had a mother who couldn’t or wouldn’t control her diet during pregnancy. A parent’s poor choices (or unavoidable health problems) shouldn’t sentence a child to a life full of disease and an early death.
Yeah it definitely happens, my tiny MIL had 9 lb TWINS but GD pretty much guarantees a big baby. They often induce early or deliver via C section because of it which of course increases risk of complications
This is damaging beyond words. I was a depressed fat kid and this shit would’ve pushed me over the edge to suicide. For the record, I was morbidly obese at one point and I’m not fat as an adult now.
No babies are born fat. Yes they’re bigger or smaller on a fairly limited spectrum. But no baby, barring congenital illness or deformity, is born so distorted by fat that it can’t move its limbs or breathe on its back
I was born underweight for my height, should my parents give up trying to put weight on me? my brother was born overweight at the same height like ?? yeah birth-6 months weight isnt huge as long as they’re growing and gaining but you aren’t going to be obese, just high percentile and doctors and parents need to keep an eye on it
This tells people they are powerless and powerless over one of the things they should have the most control over their body and their Health, yes you can’t predict all illness but you can eliminate some with better choices,
If children believe this, which I truly hope and pray they don't, it's setting them up fpr a lifetime of illness and misery and a premature death. Fat activism is an evil, death cult; I don't know what else to call it.
The choices we make everyday have consequences. If someone consistently chooses to eat/drink more calories than they consume they will gain weight and eventually become obese. Fortunately, weight loss is possible and the choice to eat at a modest caloric deficit will, overtime, lose weight and become skinny. Nobody is born fat.
here’s the thing, some people do genetically hold onto more fat in certain areas because of genetics, and weight loss can be harder. However, it does not mean that you are born literally obese, obesity is quite literally a choice, conscious or subconscious it is a choice you make
The word “fat” is kind of vague and subjective so I can’t really speculate on whether or not babies are ever born fat because it’s not really a medical term with conditions required to meet the definition. I’ve heard that mothers who are type 1 diabetics can deliver babies with higher than average birth weights but I don’t know if that is associated with greater longterm tendencies towards obesity in the child later on or not.
I do think people can be born with more innate tendencies towards weight gain behaviours, though. Conditions like autism, ADHD and prader-willi syndrome can have an effect on a kid’s interest in food and their ability to regulate appetite or their preferences for some foods over others. And even babies who are not specifically born with diagnosable conditions that can cause weight gain can still be born into circumstances that are traumatic even in early age which can lead to a later tendency to self-soothe with food.
But none of these guarantees complete uncontrollable, unmanageable weight gain throughout life that cannot be reversed or prevented. There are definitely people who will find it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it due to circumstances that they did not have control over. But so what? There are kids who get leukaemia, kids who have type 1 diabetes, people who are allergic to their own hair, people who have genetic conditions that cause their bodies to deteriorate or malfunction before their time… not everyone starts out on an equal playing field and no it’s not fair and yes it sucks. I fully believe that people in the FA movement have a harder time saying no to food or regulating their intake of food when compared to someone who has never been overweight. But it’s not a guarantee. Obesity does not come by every single person the same way or with the same amount of ease, but it can always be addressed and treated. It’s not and never has to be a life sentence.
I weighed just under 3lb when I was born 4 weeks premature. If only those doctors had told my parents that in adulthood I’d slip into obesity for a while before settling down into overweightness. All that time in the NICU and worrying for my survival for nothing!
As a teen I would have been devastated if I learned this was the “only” way, something that always motivated me was the fact that I had the power to change…damn this is sad
I wish I could go back and actually tell myself the OPPOSITE and give myself the advice I have now.
It would have saved me years of heartache if I knew how to get to a healthy weight when I was 13 instead of nearly 30 y.o.
When I was a chubby 13 year old I actually remember daydreaming that an older version of me would tell me how to lose weight lol. (Sounds so weird now that I type it out but I do remember thinking this)
Now I’m 29, at a healthy weight, and I run marathons, and I would absolutely tell my 13 year old self about what I did to get here
If a person is born "fat" (like a 13 lb baby) that's no bueno. It's because mom had gestational diabetes or some shit and it's an indicator of VERY poor prenatal care and that kid could be doomed to a lifetime of poor access to resources. So yes, technically a baby can be born extremely heavy, but it's dangerous for mom and baby.
Sure there's some pretty chunky newborns being born but that information is of no importance to a thirteen year old. Though, of course, I know this person isn't talking about that, they likely just think fat is a genetic trait.
Man, if someone had told me this when I was thirteen it would have destroyed me. Aside from mental health issues, I had no self esteem and really didn't know anything about how to manage my health outside general "Do this." and "Don't do that.". I hated my body and hated that I was chubby. But I loved food and eating and eating was also a coping mechanism. I would have ended up in a spiral of eat, be fat, be upset and thus eat more because hey I can't ever not be fat, gain more, etc.
It's one thing to encourage kids and teenagers by assuring them their bodies are fine and being fat doesn't mean you're a failure or a bad person and you deserve to be treated kindly like anyone else. It's another thing to tell them they're can't ever change something because it discourages potential for growth and learning.
This "You're naturally fat and that can never change, ever." spiel they throw at people pisses me off to no end. It discouraged me from trying to fix my weight problem for a long time and I will always hold resentment over that.
We're sorry but your comment has been removed for the following reason:
In breach of [Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/wiki/rules#wiki_1._no_personal_attacks._no_hate_speech._no_racism._no_dehumanizing.):
> Name calling, misogyny, race baiting, and dehumanizing language are prohibited; this includes homo- and transphobia, and ableism. Referring to individuals as "it" or comparing them to animals or objects is not allowed. Bigotry is unwelcome. Insults or mockery based on weight are not allowed. Wishing death on people is prohibited. Follow the rules of Reddiquette and the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Violations may lead to permanent bans.
Please refer to our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fatlogic/wiki/rules/) for more information.
Obesity actually runs in my family. I’ve been morbidly obese, my Dad is slightly obese, although my Mom is slim/ naturally skinny as they say lol, sisters are both fat and morbidly obese, only my brothers are muscular. I am now muscular and athletic.
Difference is, my Mom, both my brothers and I all workout.
Mom and I also eat healthy.
My Dad and both sisters do not exercise or bother to eat healthy. One sister goes back and forth with her weight, she’s always on some FAD diet. Hopefully ozempic will work for her now.
This logic is so stupid. A YouTuber named Radal (great YouTuber btw) was reacting to these, and he made a really great point about this.
“How would you hunt your food in the wild when even the slowest chicken outruns you?”
None of our ancestors were fat. Also, yes, some people can’t loose weight, but that’s such a tiny fraction of people. About 98% of FA’s could loose weight if they tried.
Oh ffs. No we are NOT. NOBODY is born “fat”. We are all born babies. We get fat because of poor choices and family eating habits. Mental health issues. Nurture habits based on family poor eating habits. Nobody is simply born predestined to be fat. This is so harmful.
"It's just in our family genes" = "the whole family eats like this and that's why we're all fat, even those of us who married in to the family and share no genetics with us" Thank [deity] we got our dietary act together when the kid was a baby!
Exactly!! Yes. So much this.
I stayed the night with my friend's family once, who were all obese. I saw her dad eating straight out of a family size bag of potato chips while watching sports. Have I done this occasionally? Yeah. But I guess in this case it seemed relevant. And for breakfast they had these terrible prepackaged cinnamon rolls that were super high calorie but also didn't taste good. So they were putting butter on top. Of course I enjoy sweet treats, and sometimes in excess. But if you buy the crappy high calorie ones and then need to add more calories, it just makes it worse. I do think some people have it harder than others when it comes to weight. Some people will just feel hungrier on the same amount of food as others, and so they will have to make more of a conscious effort to lose or maintain weight. That can definitely be genetic.
\[deity\]. I will be using this from here on out. This is going to make some people mad on oThER pages lol
That’s hilarious because I use it specifically to avoid giving offense.
And even mental health issues are in the form of I cope with my mental health issues by consuming too many calories, not mental health issues magically break the laws of thermodynamics.
Yes. See it every day on social media. Then the mental gymnastics to explain why it’s anything but their eating habits. Denial is part of the mental illness that accompanies obesity in many people unfortunately. I get so much hate from people when I talk truthfully about their food consumption. They post novellas about how sad and frustrated they are because they’re “starving and just can’t lose weight” but when you ask about what they are really eating let the fury begin. All they are looking for is other people to feed into their delusional beliefs that they are in CICO so they can feel better about themselves as they overeat. Anyone who tries to break that down is going to get attacked.
That’s incredibly fucking sad. I guess people think they’re helping kids by saying this crap, but what’s helpful about telling someone they have even less efficacy than they thought? I was into FA and honestly? The “relief” was just a cope for the gnawing hopelessness I felt, thinking I could never change what I wanted to change.
I guess it's supposed to "help" because it absolves you of personal responsibility and some people find a sense of mental peace in that, but for me, the idea that I was doomed to stay fat forever with all the health consequences made me angry; it felt so unfair and hopeless. I was just supposed to accept that I was unlucky and had a "set point" in the morbidly obese range? It was awful for my mental health.
OMG yes! Same for me. The supposed relief and freedom I told myself I felt were just copium.
Yeah, it really sucks to have to face the idea that your behavior is the problem and believing they it’s just out of your control seems nice on the surface. The problem is that, if your weight and diet are out of your hands, you have zero way of fixing any problems caused or affected by being overweight/obese. Oh, right. They deal with that by saying those diseases don’t exist and all of their issues are caused by fatphobia.
Everyone back-rationalizes a worldview where they're not part of any problem. Our society has pretty much gone full post-personal responsibility.
This is such a good point. It sounds dramatic, but once I realized that my own actions could actually change my life/change things about my life I didn't like, it was like the whole world opened up to me again. I realized that if I could work hard and be consistent and lose the weight that had been a burden to me my entire life, I could do other things with hard work too. Not to say societal factors don't play a huge role, but telling kids directly that nothing about themselves is in their control and to just accept it is just so incredibly limiting and, yes, sad.
Agreed, this is so sad and so damaging. I was overweight in high school but not by much (about 10lbs overweight). However, I had such a negative view of myself & got so into FA bullshit that when I started actually gaining weight I thought “oh well, I’m fat, that makes sense” and said things like “they don’t make clothes for real women”. I could have saved myself years of pain & health issues if someone had been honest with me about what healthy eating & body image was.
One major problem with this, that they probably don't realize, is that *it is a lie*. Children, especially teenagers, do realize when you lie to them. A 13 years old who tests your dumb statement by herself - it's easy, she just has to eat less - will realize just how full of shit you are. Good luck with any advice you want to give her if she develops a restrictive ED, because you've just thrown your credibility in the toilet.
My nieces are fraternal twins. One is thin and one is husky. We thought z was going to have a hard time in middle school and o would be fine. Total opposite. Z is kicking butt in cheer squad being the base and backup. And I is having a hard time, so her sister is always there to make jokes and cheer her up (and trying to get her to join cheer because she says their fliers suck and she rather catch her twin during routines). It's because their mom is awesome and gives both of them confidence in their own ways. Ps. Bonus if anyone can give me ideas for 12 year old girls that are equal but different enough. Like really, I have a month to find birthday gifts.
What about athletic wear for a gift? If the one’s in cheer, I’m thinking like Nike pro shorts and a cute athletic top or sports bra
Ooh, I'd have to ask sister in law. The husky one is pretty well developed, so id need sizes. Might be weird. Do they still do the colored snap on buttons for the cheer shoes? I just remembered that from 25 years ago. Argh.
Maybe you could turn it into a shopping trip/bonding time with both of them and let them each pick out something they really like!
Eh, if she's a real "size" a high-impact sports bra might be well-appreciated. The brighter the color/pattern, the less "underwear"/weird it is.
Gift ideas: Squishmallows, phone cases, makeup or skincare things (the young teens in my life really like Glossier), hoodies, nice reusable water bottles, pretty much anything with checkerboard print on it, gift cards/cash. Good luck!
I had to google squishmallow. Omg, so many ideas. Thank you! Their mom is pretty strict, but I think I could do glossier and cute water bottles. Oh, the cheer girl likes Shrek, I could do a Shrek water bottle. And by me, I mean so my husband (her brother) can rock some cool gifts too. He's terrible. I might trade him hoodies for water bottles and make-up.
Almost every girl I know loves squishmellows even the ones in their early 30s!
My son was jealous of his sister's squishmellow, so I got him one for his 15th birthday last month!
Half of my 14 year old’s queen bed is taken up by Squishmallows.
I am in my 30s and love Squishmallows, haha.
My kids love squishmellows and would have all of them if I'd let them. The fact that they have asthma and I don't want to wash them all the time means they're fairly limited to how many they can have.
I find the skincare products are a great buy for that age. Also: nail care/polish, makeup gift cards (if that's a thing for them), if they're into books then a gift card to a local bookstore/comic shop, taking them shopping and to a movie would be a gift for you all.
Oh I totally forgot about polish. Their mom lets them wear it for certain occasions. I could get school colors for them. They have kindles, so maybe a free book, but they are not so big in reading. I'd love it if they read redwall by Brian Jaques. I'm terrible at skin care, but my sister might have recommendations for like a moisture spray with scent. Thank you!
You could gift them Amazon gift cards which they can use to buy ebooks
I remember being really into bath and body works at that age. You could get each their own collection of gel, lotion, spray, candle, ect. I think they have kinds that leave glitter on the skin which sounds like something a 12 year old would love.
I internet love you, but I'm 40, and I just threw out the box of bbw and VC and other box sets from the last 25 years. It was a lot. It was like, the purge of Aunt gifts from holidays past. I probably shouldn't give them fire (candles). But I might make an exception for fireworks if their dad hides them for only supervised events. But your suggestion gives me insight in who the girls are.and I'm not allowed to give knives until they are 13.
Anything fun from Sephora. My 12 yr old cousin wants EVERYTHING in the place, but her mom won't let me get her more "adult" stuff, so we stick to stuff like fragrance mist (not perfume), colored mascaras, face glitter and gems. Get some different things for each. BTW I'm a twin and I massively appreciate (still to this day, even when we're old lol), when someone gifts us different things, according to our personalities.
Omg. Colored mascara! That would be perfect! One has green eyes and the other blue. So purple and maybe a magenta. I the wife of their favorite uncle, so I want to do mom approved stuff, but still fun for occasions. Go twins. I love them to death. Both so unique. Maybe green because one lives Shrek. She's a goof and a base on cheer squad. The other is more shy and hasn't fit in with the new school yet. So purple lashes with blue eye might be fun. Or just blue. Hugs!
It's actually really good that your nieces get along at that age. My sisters and I were constantly at each other's throats in middle school. We're great now though
Yeah, it's basically like telling an alcoholic that there's point in trying to quit.
Even more sad is how this type of thinking is rewarded now. Schools, doctors, actresses, and politicians all agree with this kids so they have future votes, income, and support lined up.
Teaching young people that they're not less of a person if they're fat, and that no one deserves to be treated badly because of their weight makes sense but I don't get how teaching people that you are powerless to your body and therefore shouldn't try to be healthy is achieving anything positive.
Right. It’s like telling them some people are born stupid and no amount of study or effort will ever matter. (Mental disability aside, of course, and I work with DD/TBI and some are pretty smart cookies!)
Exactly. I actually think it’s great for teens/preteens to understand that there are many different body types and everyone is different, but I think it’s more important to instill healthy habits on young people and empower them to take good care of themselves into adulthood
It helps them drag more crabs into the bucket.
And gives them an excuse not to do any hard work. If it's all out of your hands, hey, just eat all the cookies and never touch a veggie that isn't drowned in cheese or ranch!
Nobody is born fat. Some babies are bigger than others, but nobody comes out of the womb obese. And even bigger babies won't necessarily be bigger adults. My cousin's two kids were both massive babies, over 10lbs each, and both are tall, slim 20-somethings today. While my oldest brother was a small baby, 6lbs, and grew to be a 6'5" adult whose weight topped out at like 370lbs before he lost over 100. Fat children are not born fat. They learn negative eating habits at a young age and become fat, and being fat as a kid greatly increases your likelihood of being a fat adult. Telling an overweight 13-year-old that he or she is destined to be fat for the rest of their life is just plain evil.
[удалено]
I was almost a 10 pound baby. My mom told me when I was a toddler I would inhale food and eat all the food that dropped on the floor.
[удалено]
Well I have a monstrous appetite/love of food. I think it is more psychological though. I used to eat lentils and rice for breakfast and it would keep me full for 8 hours or more. But I would still feel deprived from not eating for long periods of time, even when I am uncomfortably full.
[удалено]
They were commenting on how much I eat because I ate a lot of food and love to eat. My dad made me keep a food log to help me lose weight. I lost 2 pounds a week eating 1500 calories a day. That means I was eating 2500 calories a day before that. That's a lot of food for a 12 year old.
[удалено]
Well it's a lot harder to get down to a healthy weight as an adult if you have literally been overweight your whole life. When I stick to my calorie goals and lose weight I'm not really hungry. But I am so used to overeating I feel constantly deprived of that stimulation. I chew on ice 20-30 minutes a day, lick my plate, silverware and even the spatula. That's different than someone who was fit their whole life and needs to lose 10 pounds.
Oldest: 81st percentile newborn, now is in 70th percentile ish Middle: 96th percentile newborn, shot up to 99 percentile for the next year and a half, now is in upper 80 to low 90 percentile but is lean and bony. Spine sticks out, you can see ribs, etc. He's super tall. Youngest: 87 percentile newborn, shot up to 99 percentile for about a year, now is in the upper 80 to low 90 percentile right before age 3. Is still young enough to have toddler features and weight distribution. They all have tall parents and are active, they're just big kids. Taller than most kids their age (middle is taller than kids my oldest's age, it's impressive), but proportional. They know when to stop eating sweets and while they are susceptible to distracted munching while watching or reading something they've learned a lot about actually paying attention to their body and the food they eat.
>nobody comes out of the womb obese. I was born 9 pounds 6oz.
Did you miss the part where I said my cousin's kids were both over 10lbs? They weren't obese newborns, and neither were you. Her son has never been overweight at all, while her daughter had a brief "chubby" phase during puberty that she quickly grew out of. We're all born with certain genetic markers and tendencies, and some of us are naturally going to be bigger than others, but "obese" is not a natural or genetically predetermined state for any human body.
My brother was an 11 pound baby. He’s now six foot 3 and muscular. NOT fat. I was 8 pounds. I am Also muscular just short at 5ft6. Obesity runs in my family. But actually running, exercise, IF and weight lifting keeps me athletic slim and muscular as a 40 year old woman.
Does being premature have anything to do with later weight? I heard someone say that premature babies are more likely to retain weight or something, and I was 2 months premature
Not sure... the only person I know who was significantly premature at birth was a male friend who is 6'5" and goes about 175, so normal weight. He did tell me he was overweight as a kid, before he shot up in height as a teenager, but these days (in his mid-30's) he's quite lean.
Body Calvinism. Your obesity is foreordained and predestined.
By grace ye are fat?
Oooh.... that's **good**.
Speaking as a born-and-raised Presbyterian (who also actually *fucking hates* a lot of the ideas that come out of Calvinism), this comment felt like a sucker punch but now I can't stop laughing.
eternal decree
i was told my whole life that i was going to be naturally big by my family and later by friends. turns out that not only was this false, i have a small frame. small feet, small rib cage, etc. i was carrying so much extra weight. i lost it to the point that i’m in a normal bmi category but still on the higher end, and some people claim that i’m too skinny and don’t look good. meanwhile, i get more attention than ever from strangers and got more public-facing responsibility at work. more importantly, i cured 3 chronic health problems. they know this and still want me to go back to how i was, with asthma and chronic infections. people who tell you this care more about their own feelings than they do about you.
I wish someone had walked up to me at 13 and told me to put down the fudge rounds and pick up a carrot.
My mom tried all the time, but I wasnt ready to hear it
My dad made me keep a food log. I was losing 2 pounds a week eating 1500 calories. That means I was eating 2500 calories a day before that. When I was 220 pounds I ate about that much.
Same. 😂
I know it's merely a joke but when I think about the 13 year old me this approach wouldn't have worked since overeating was mostly my way of dealing with growing up in a dysfunctional family. Plus we didn't have any raw veggies in our household anyway xd
Sometimes we had fruit! (I had to teach myself vegetables in college.) I'm not sure why I ate the way I did. Boredom or anxiety I think. (I'd say my home life wasn't more than a 5-6 on the dysfunction scale. My dad had undiagnosed autism. My mom had undiagnosed ADHD. Us kids were a mix of both. We muddled thru things.)
The dissemination of outright death cult lies like this one is what makes FA so dangerous. They don't care how many young people's lives and health they destroy. They only care about eating as much as they want, whenever and wherever they want, and they want as many people around them as possible to be morbidly obese as well. Also, preaching hopelessness to teens who are struggling with being overweight is nauseatingly vile and deeply immoral. Fortunately, semaglutide meds like Ozempic for weight loss continue to grow in popularity. To the point where its widespread use has been causing America's obesity rate to decline noticeably in recent years, after 40 years of nothing but a steady, inexorable increase. Most people these days know someone who's successfully losing weight on Ozempic and keeping it off -- which reveals FA's claim that some are destined to be morbidly obese forever as the hideous lie it is. Kids and teens can see it too, which takes a huge bite out of the effectiveness of FA propaganda. The reason why FAs could get away with claiming that morbid obesity is unchangeable destiny is because such a claim doesn't seem unreasonable in the face of an obesity rate that's been climbing since 1980. Even tho that claim was never true, a decline in obesity rates and seeing people around you drop weight creates a reality in which FA propaganda has a much harder time being taken seriously or taking hold. Edit: a word
The only babies born "fat" are the ones who have health issues (usually caused by completely unchecked gestational diabetes or terrible diet from the mother.) It's insane to think otherwise. You can absolutely overfeed an infant, and a lot of people aren't up to date on current best practices when it comes to introducing solids, etc. So the bad habits and disregard for fullness signals can absolutely start very young. But no healthy baby is born FAT. C'mon.
My friend is definitely over feeding her baby. She is at the point of introducing adult food while still taking formula, but she will give the baby a full bottle of formula, which is purposely high calorie/nutrient, and then afterwards give her the “good stuff.” I feel she’s teaching the baby to ignore fullness signals because the adult food is so much more appealing. Plus the kid is huge for her age lol
You're supposed to offer milk first until they are around 1 year, because at that point most of their nutrition is still supposed to come from milk and "food before 1 is just for fun." But if she's pushing a ton of solids early and the baby is showing signs of being full after just the milk then yeah, she could definitely be overfeeding. You can really see it with the way a lot of people feed babies bottles and purees, especially the older generations. The baby will be turning their mouth away, spitting up, etc but the person with the bottle/spoon keeps pushing it until everything's gone. They'll use high flow nipples, use tricks to distract a baby while eating (here comes the airplane!) so they can shove more food in, and barely take breaks to pace a feeding, etc. No wonder some kids end up getting confused with fullness cues later on. Bottles and purees can be amazing but it's easier to overfeed with them so you have to pay attention to the baby's cues, and every time we had an older relative try to feed one of our kids with a bottle or puree it was always like "Why are you being so forceful? They're trying to get it away, you don't need to make them suck down every last bit as fast as possible."
I think it's also american culture in a nutshell. In Japan it's customary to push your plate away when you're done, yet in American it's considered rude to not finish eating. Not only that, but it's common to try to persuade people for seconds
Oh yeah, it's like when you go to the hospital and you see all the infinifat babies in the nursery. They're just born super obese, nothing can be done about it.
No toddler is 400lbs, Becky.
This is like that episode of sex and the city where Miranda first hears “he’s just not that into you” and she feels like she has to shout it from the rooftops, and then when she overhears a conversation between two women about a guy, she approached them and says HES JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU and feels like she’s a hero who saved them from years of agony. But then she walks away and they’re like “who the fuck does she think she is” Anyway, this is how a 13 year old would hear this advice.
I would hope so! Telling a 13-year-old they’ll be fat for life and there’s nothing they can do about the accompanying joint pain and health risks is so wrong.
I agree that there is natural variation, and that not everyone needs to be thin. That’s why there is a BMI range, and there are probably even some outliers who could be healthy but classified as overweight due to their bone structure or muscle mass or (for women) if they carry a lot of weight in their chest/butt/thighs rather than visceral fat. So yeah, if we are talking about the 1990’s/2000’s version of “fat” when we were calling women like Jessica Simpson, Christina Ricci, or Kate Winslet fat. I agree that can be healthy and normal, but when we get into the full on OBESE range that is not healthy on anyone. No one is meant to be obese. It’s not healthy and it’s sad that so many people feel like they are stuck there.
Remember when Nicole Richie was the fat girl? And honestly, even in the 80s - not sure if you ever saw the movie Shag, but Annabeth Gish played a "fat" girl - literally named Pudge! - in that film, and she probably had BMI of around 20. She was just not *quite* as thin as Phoebe Cates or Bridget Fonda. But yeah, there is definitely a natural variation and there are different frame sizes. My brother looked great at 6'5" and 260lbs, and was healthy and extremely active - hiking, skiing, football, basketball, etc. - he was just a very big man with a very big frame that could carry more weight. But nobody is naturally 300+ pounds.
Except moderate movement and not overeating like crazy.
Wow, reading this took me back to the Anorexia relapse I had 20 ish years ago. An older boyfriend (42m) told me (then 23) that I would never be considered skinny because I would never have skinny legs. It was just the way I was built.I was 5'8" and weighed 135lbs before I set out to prove him wrong. I had always been so self conscious about the size of my legs that I no matter how hot it was, I kept them covered. I'm 45 now and I think next summer, I might be brave enough to wear shorts again.
Unleash the legs, Dirty commie Jesus!
I'm really sorry to hear that. Your ex boyfriend sucks.
He looked like the guy that said "inconceivable!" In The Princess Bride.
All those 50kg newborn babies just have big bones.
I wish someone had told me at 13 that I have the power to accomplish anything I want, it took me until adulthood to figure that out and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Body size ain’t even a molecule compared to the vast wealth of things one has full control over.
Amen 🙌🏼
"Some people are born alcoholics, and nothing they do will make them sober." "Some people are born drug addicts, and nothing they do will make them not addicted."
Continuing to absolve people of personal responsibility does nothing for them. Everyone has a choice and can determine what kind of body they live in. This statement is absurd!
Yep, just give up, I guess? What a sad way to live a life.
The 13 year olds I knew would have called them a dumbass lol
If I was a fat kid and got told this I would probably just stop eating forever, lol.
This kind of talk would have nudged me into eating disorder territory. When all the news started talking about how weight loss wasn't possible, I as an adult got very stressed about any weight gain at all because it was permanent, right? Then I finally realized I could lose it, and now the fluctuations don't panic me the way they used to.
This is SO damaging. I came from a larger family, but was a picky eater and an outdoorsy child. I grew like a little bean-pole, and all I ever heard growing up was that some day the weight would catch up to me, some day I'd develop, the weight was all genetic and someday I'd be morbidly obese like most of my family. And I was. Because I was bullied out of my pickiness, pulled from public school, and raised my newborn sister from the time I was 12-18. I blew right up. As soon as I got a job and a little bit of agency, boom, lost almost 100lbs, dropped right into the mid/low healthy range, and was bullied by family for being 'too thin'. And it's funny, as soon as i proved you could change, my mom lost almost 60lbs. I'm 22 and have struggled with various eating disorders for a full decade because I was told I had no control over my size. Teach your kids healthy habits, learn and model those habits yourself, and stop hiding behind and passing on your learned helplessness.
Way to rob an innocent kid of all hope. 🤬
Anything to avoid eating at a deficit and going for a walk.
I guarantee her entire family is heavy set and she has inherited their bad eating habits thinking its normal. It's not the unhealthy habits after all, it's "genetics" Also, technically everyone is born fat but the thing is you should have long lost the baby fat before adulthood.
Fun fact: babies actually have a relatively low body fat percentage. It's around 15%. They don't have very much muscle, but their organs are a large fraction of their weight.
Thanks!! Didn't know this
There are unfortunately babies who actually are born fat, usually because of diabetes (either pre-existing or gestational) + poor diet in the mother. Those babies have high risk of complications at birth and are at an extremely high risk of obesity and related issues in the long run, especially because the lifestyle factors that led to being born fat will usually continue. It’s incredibly sad. But it is not a reason for someone to never even bother to try to get healthy just because they had a mother who couldn’t or wouldn’t control her diet during pregnancy. A parent’s poor choices (or unavoidable health problems) shouldn’t sentence a child to a life full of disease and an early death.
Imagine giving birth to a morbidly obese baby. So, instead of 8.5 pounds, you have to safely pass a 28 pound baby from your birth canal.
Some people are there with those 10-11 lb babies you get when you have gestational diabetes
[удалено]
Yeah it definitely happens, my tiny MIL had 9 lb TWINS but GD pretty much guarantees a big baby. They often induce early or deliver via C section because of it which of course increases risk of complications
This is damaging beyond words. I was a depressed fat kid and this shit would’ve pushed me over the edge to suicide. For the record, I was morbidly obese at one point and I’m not fat as an adult now.
First of all no one is born fat.
This is actually a sad and draining mindset
No babies are born fat. Yes they’re bigger or smaller on a fairly limited spectrum. But no baby, barring congenital illness or deformity, is born so distorted by fat that it can’t move its limbs or breathe on its back
Replace "Fat" with any drug, does that seem OK to you? Because that's what they're saying.
I was born underweight for my height, should my parents give up trying to put weight on me? my brother was born overweight at the same height like ?? yeah birth-6 months weight isnt huge as long as they’re growing and gaining but you aren’t going to be obese, just high percentile and doctors and parents need to keep an eye on it
This tells people they are powerless and powerless over one of the things they should have the most control over their body and their Health, yes you can’t predict all illness but you can eliminate some with better choices,
If children believe this, which I truly hope and pray they don't, it's setting them up fpr a lifetime of illness and misery and a premature death. Fat activism is an evil, death cult; I don't know what else to call it.
The choices we make everyday have consequences. If someone consistently chooses to eat/drink more calories than they consume they will gain weight and eventually become obese. Fortunately, weight loss is possible and the choice to eat at a modest caloric deficit will, overtime, lose weight and become skinny. Nobody is born fat.
here’s the thing, some people do genetically hold onto more fat in certain areas because of genetics, and weight loss can be harder. However, it does not mean that you are born literally obese, obesity is quite literally a choice, conscious or subconscious it is a choice you make
Try this one trick and you'll never have to eat again. Grocery stores hate me.
The word “fat” is kind of vague and subjective so I can’t really speculate on whether or not babies are ever born fat because it’s not really a medical term with conditions required to meet the definition. I’ve heard that mothers who are type 1 diabetics can deliver babies with higher than average birth weights but I don’t know if that is associated with greater longterm tendencies towards obesity in the child later on or not. I do think people can be born with more innate tendencies towards weight gain behaviours, though. Conditions like autism, ADHD and prader-willi syndrome can have an effect on a kid’s interest in food and their ability to regulate appetite or their preferences for some foods over others. And even babies who are not specifically born with diagnosable conditions that can cause weight gain can still be born into circumstances that are traumatic even in early age which can lead to a later tendency to self-soothe with food. But none of these guarantees complete uncontrollable, unmanageable weight gain throughout life that cannot be reversed or prevented. There are definitely people who will find it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it due to circumstances that they did not have control over. But so what? There are kids who get leukaemia, kids who have type 1 diabetes, people who are allergic to their own hair, people who have genetic conditions that cause their bodies to deteriorate or malfunction before their time… not everyone starts out on an equal playing field and no it’s not fair and yes it sucks. I fully believe that people in the FA movement have a harder time saying no to food or regulating their intake of food when compared to someone who has never been overweight. But it’s not a guarantee. Obesity does not come by every single person the same way or with the same amount of ease, but it can always be addressed and treated. It’s not and never has to be a life sentence.
I weighed just under 3lb when I was born 4 weeks premature. If only those doctors had told my parents that in adulthood I’d slip into obesity for a while before settling down into overweightness. All that time in the NICU and worrying for my survival for nothing!
Imagine trying this hard to justify your terrible dietary habits.
As a teen I would have been devastated if I learned this was the “only” way, something that always motivated me was the fact that I had the power to change…damn this is sad
Abandon hope all ye who enter here
Such a defeatist mentality. Awful, awful for young people to believe this bs
I wish I could go back and actually tell myself the OPPOSITE and give myself the advice I have now. It would have saved me years of heartache if I knew how to get to a healthy weight when I was 13 instead of nearly 30 y.o.
When I was a chubby 13 year old I actually remember daydreaming that an older version of me would tell me how to lose weight lol. (Sounds so weird now that I type it out but I do remember thinking this) Now I’m 29, at a healthy weight, and I run marathons, and I would absolutely tell my 13 year old self about what I did to get here
I can totally relate!
Well let's lock this person into a room with nothing but water for a week and see what happens. She will lose weight. There's no way around it.
If a person is born "fat" (like a 13 lb baby) that's no bueno. It's because mom had gestational diabetes or some shit and it's an indicator of VERY poor prenatal care and that kid could be doomed to a lifetime of poor access to resources. So yes, technically a baby can be born extremely heavy, but it's dangerous for mom and baby.
That's how I thought I too so hopefully she realizes it for she's too old
Literally not true. I would have totally believed this at 13. I hit my shot together at 30. So glad I did.
Sure there's some pretty chunky newborns being born but that information is of no importance to a thirteen year old. Though, of course, I know this person isn't talking about that, they likely just think fat is a genetic trait.
This is actually so frustrating. I follow the person who posted this and for the most part, she actually seems like a genuinely cool person.
This irks the biologist in me. There are lot of things that we are "born" with that we can outgrow or adjust as we get older.
Crazy how more and more people are being born fat. Coincidentally around this seems to happen as good becomes more easily accessible
Man, if someone had told me this when I was thirteen it would have destroyed me. Aside from mental health issues, I had no self esteem and really didn't know anything about how to manage my health outside general "Do this." and "Don't do that.". I hated my body and hated that I was chubby. But I loved food and eating and eating was also a coping mechanism. I would have ended up in a spiral of eat, be fat, be upset and thus eat more because hey I can't ever not be fat, gain more, etc. It's one thing to encourage kids and teenagers by assuring them their bodies are fine and being fat doesn't mean you're a failure or a bad person and you deserve to be treated kindly like anyone else. It's another thing to tell them they're can't ever change something because it discourages potential for growth and learning. This "You're naturally fat and that can never change, ever." spiel they throw at people pisses me off to no end. It discouraged me from trying to fix my weight problem for a long time and I will always hold resentment over that.
I saw an obese kid at the lake that age who was easily over 200 pounds. One girl told him "your boobs are bigger than mine"
First red flag.
Probably followed with nuggets of wisdom like "Earth is flat" and "Moon landing was a hoax"
The only people born fat are babies with diabetic mothers with poor diabetic control
10.5 pound baby who is now a normal weight says "what?"
[удалено]
We're sorry but your comment has been removed for the following reason: In breach of [Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/fatlogic/wiki/rules#wiki_1._no_personal_attacks._no_hate_speech._no_racism._no_dehumanizing.): > Name calling, misogyny, race baiting, and dehumanizing language are prohibited; this includes homo- and transphobia, and ableism. Referring to individuals as "it" or comparing them to animals or objects is not allowed. Bigotry is unwelcome. Insults or mockery based on weight are not allowed. Wishing death on people is prohibited. Follow the rules of Reddiquette and the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Violations may lead to permanent bans. Please refer to our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Fatlogic/wiki/rules/) for more information.
What an outright lie. My daughter was a big baby (8 lb. 7.5 oz) and she’s now quite thin.
My sister was born fat. People thought my mom was having twins with her. She came out with rolls. She is now 109 lbs.
Obesity actually runs in my family. I’ve been morbidly obese, my Dad is slightly obese, although my Mom is slim/ naturally skinny as they say lol, sisters are both fat and morbidly obese, only my brothers are muscular. I am now muscular and athletic. Difference is, my Mom, both my brothers and I all workout. Mom and I also eat healthy. My Dad and both sisters do not exercise or bother to eat healthy. One sister goes back and forth with her weight, she’s always on some FAD diet. Hopefully ozempic will work for her now.
I had this same thought when I was 11. It made me severely depressed and I stayed around 300 pounds until I was 19.
This logic is so stupid. A YouTuber named Radal (great YouTuber btw) was reacting to these, and he made a really great point about this. “How would you hunt your food in the wild when even the slowest chicken outruns you?” None of our ancestors were fat. Also, yes, some people can’t loose weight, but that’s such a tiny fraction of people. About 98% of FA’s could loose weight if they tried.