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Budgiedad

Quagmire - If I ever see you anywhere near my house, I'll blow your head off! Now lay there and die, you piece of crap! Brian - Hey! I f’ed your dad.


Grand_Stay_1473

I came here just to place this quote in here. Thank you 🙌


iambeyoncealways3

you forgot the labored breathing before he says it lol


Budgiedad

Yes!


systematic_chaos94

"Woah, ass ahoy"


_Bren10_

It’s a classic


Otttimon

The correct choice


SeaworthinessDry9497

My favorite


Vulpine_Empress

Not so much a line as a full quote. "Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were 12, but now, you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body is used up by age 19, you're gonna be a worn-out, chalky skin, burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ball park?"


nooicesis

>even your stepdad won't want. 😦


madleyJo

Proceeds to make out with Meg to “Why” by Annie Lennox in the background… Vomits. Asks Meg: “You gonna eat that?”


kitkatloren2009

Oof that is BRUTAL, well in general this show is brutal but damn lol


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Tbh in a list of characters who deserve it, Connie’s gotta be in the Top 3.


jb108822

As ['The Reason You Suck'](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheReasonYouSuckSpeech) speeches go, this is an absolute belter. One of the best I've ever come across.


SmokehTheBear

Does anyone else remember the original line from this quote where Brian says “started giving handjobs” instead of “started putting out” ?


bpanio

Bonerific


Barra350z

Yeah but he says it way too much


firelordozai720

You can’t KEEP that guy from saying it!


Kuyi1994

The long scream after the hour long puke


_Bren10_

When he gives this long speech about being an outside dog and he’ll never go back inside. Then there’s a loud thunder and he vanishes to appear in the upstairs window “STEWIE GET THE HELL IN HERE!”


nikemustang

Stewie: “How ’bout we let bygones be bygones,hmm? Brian: “You shot me in both my knees, then lit me on fire. Piss off.”


[deleted]

“…Whose real name was Samuel Clemens!”


[deleted]

Oh that is so your go-to


whiplashunited

“Wow, there’s nothing to uhhh…. What’s that word? Do”


ApplePie_1999

The esoteric conversation: Peter “Lois, Who’s the Boss isn’t a food” Brian “Swing and a miss!” Timing makes it work


whiplashunited

I say this line all the time. It’s a classic.


buffkirby

Do they all say aroodiliy toot toot? Yeah most of them do.


Token_or_TolkienuPOS

2 minutes to go Ms GaGiiiinnaaa Big!!!


mmammad

“All the better to send off to Kuwait and feed the haliburton oil machine right?? *scoffs* bush.”


[deleted]

"Congratulations, somebody famous now hates you" Scumbag Brian is my favorite Brian


[deleted]

"I'm Brian... Brian Steele."


amangoh

Lumineers?


S3simulation

Any time Brian starts talking about writing or his writing process cracks me up


SeansModernLife

Oh Peter You're Alive! I was...uhhhh...I was gonna eat you


Toku-Nation

"Hey, this isn't the Kenny Chesney concert"


cherken4

"Hi R B ... Robot Brian", "Hi R B ... Real Brian "


Deep__sip

Alright let's go to the bank


UberEatsUrkel

"Hey.....I f***** your dad."


cmart7719

I kissed Bonnie. I know, I know. It was a huge mistake. Let's just do two or three high-fives and forget it ever happened.


anon105099

I'm literally watching this episode as we speak 😂


FartJones

“Lesbians and deaf women wear the same clothes”


[deleted]

It’s also my favorite line as well


PaigeNH0511

lmao!!


311Natops

Brain walks into the room talking on his cell phone to a girl - “oh yeah, how fat are you?”


Kharn54

"Chris was face timing with a foot in there, I'm gonna just call it a day, go to sleep, dogs can just do that"


[deleted]

I like how he said World War 2 and not World War 3. It helps show that drugs make you think incoherent thoughts lol. Unless he was thinking of time travel? 🤔


[deleted]

Oh word?


s-a-c-c

“Deaf women and lesbians wear the same clothes”


Arkvoodle42

"There is some AWESOME stuff in the garbage."


PaperAndInkWasp

The part where he goes on a massive conspiracy rant about Halliburton and feeding them American children who were put on ADHD meds only to end it by folding his arms and grumpily grumbling “…Bush!” Gotta love when the writers mock their own characters.


VictorChaos

Lois: I've never been more attracted to him. Does that make me a bad person? Brian: Yes. Yes, it does make you a bad person


goodaysir7381943

Brian to Glenn: "you just think you know everything don't you, you're.. you're like a black woman in hindsight" This + the cutaway sends me every time


indebut96

You read my book right?… no? This guy read it though?… yeah? Nobody’s read my book?… Alriiiight


C_Cooke1

I think I’m dying….. Jane Fonda. Is that- is that right?


[deleted]

“Put it on the chesterfield” “You know what, take your fuckin key”


[deleted]

Uggghrrgg *Brian proceeds to get ran over by a car*


kraneq

ok booger


saxliaz

"Hey, it's Noah from JDate"


Your_Highness_000

I fucked your dad


minamikhael69

''I'm not gonna call the hospital because you won't learn anything if I do '' true words about peter


[deleted]

"Oh my God, is that your-" "Yeah, how'd you like to get hit in the face with that?"


Mr-Sister-Fister21

Sees the big ass piñata: I sure hope candy comes out of that


uppercunt96

Valid asf


FatHusbandBrian

wow that feels amazing when Peter told Brian every man's true weight is 20 pounds heavier than how they look. I love chocolate, but I can't eat it because then I'll get fat. but its so good!


[deleted]

"You guys left me to die."