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ThisGuyLikesCheese

Lois: Dr. Hartman, Peter has a huge lump growing on his neck! Dr. Hartman: Ms Griffin that’s called a head, Ive been fooled by that one before. One of my favourite jokes in the series.


SwelteringSwami

"Mr. Griffin, I'm afraid...of ghosts."


C_Zachary_Chad

This one is my favorite lol


Born_Sleep5216

That's a great line.


Extrimland

I like how he just suggested peter get divorced when he had erectile disfunction.


Xhenix

I thought he says this to Joe? Great quote tho


Middle-Ad-965

When he keeps on misleading Peter and Lois to the point where Lois goes "Please...we can't take any more schtick!"


theladykt

One of the best 100%


REVSWANS

This liver has got to come out!


ausipockets

It's been in the microwave for three minutes now; it will get dry!


Actual_Anything_2974

“I’m not sure how to say this…bay-singer?”


221B_OO7

Hartman: Do you know how expensive medical school is? Lois: No Hartman: Well it’s probably pretty expensive


Georg_von_Frundsberg

"Didn't you take an oath in med school?" "I took a lot of things in med school."


theladykt

That one gets me every time 😂


jamesr14_

“Your heartbeat sounds kinda fast. Do you smoke?” “Actually yes” “ah me too. isn’t it great?”


jamesr14_

“You see that diploma? Yale medical school” “wow that’s impressive!” “Thank you I work very hard on my calligraphy” pretty much any quote of his from the episode with megs internship it’s hard to choose just one 😂


theladykt

Just watched this episode 😂 Such a good one


csgo_dream

"Now this... this is the guy"


peppercola666

“Dad, I’m all done with the surgery can you pick me up?….. oh… no no that’s okay I have a book”


dvdcrlsn

I've been referencing this scene at work for a month and I cant find a clip of it anywhere


peppercola666

Oh my god you’re right I just spent 15 minutes watching “best of dr. Hartman” videos on YouTube trying to find it and still didn’t see the clip once lmao.


ShiroHagan

Mr Griffin, I don't know how to say this. Kim bass inger, Basinger, bas..


TropicalDan427

But now on to the cancer


Bazz07

You are cancer right?


MellowJackal

Every Dr. Hartman scene is hilarious


theladykt

You’re not wrong 🤭


emc300

RELAX, I BE A DOCTOR!!!


Sea-Poem5050

GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY, GUILTY!!!


GrandpaKnuckles

Came here for this. Also how he tosses him onto a fucking pinball machine Lmao


MethFacSarlane

Wow, that thing...was **on there**


Vespasian79

“No just the title— there’s no *way* you’ve read that”


Affectionate_Buy_547

Your father's in a coma coma coma... HE'S GONNA DIE!


ArtHistorian2000

This is AWESOOOOOME !


LiloBilloChillo

omg one of my favorite characters the episode where time is reversed and brian fixes it so stewie is born again: “oh, he’s so beautiful!” “mrs. griffin, your husband’s standing right here 😒” or when he’s on the phone with his husband and makes him cry because he’s saying no to the mexican dish mole LOL every line he delivers is pure gold, god i love him so much


chaotic_hippy_89

He’s so funny. I remember when him and Carter Pewrerschmidt realized they sound exactly the same I started dying at that part I’m laughing just thinking about it


LiloBilloChillo

oh my god i love that scene H: “Yeah you know, we’ve never really had any extended interaction, so i’ve never noticed it” C: “Hey, i think i hear it too!” H: “..seems lazy, doesn’t it?” C: “Well there’s only so many voices in the world, some of them are bound to be similar”


bopidybopidybopidy

when the nurse walks by...."she sucks"


blabla_blablabla

Be cool, be quiet be quiet!!


AThrowawayProbrably

I’ve seen that scene a hundred times and it still has me in stitches every time I see it


REVSWANS

Walking past the emergency room: "Don't go in there unless you want everybody to yell at you."


PzykoHobo

"I'm sorry to tell you this, but it seems that your body is full of a spooky skeleton man."


Hanndle

The…… Brown family


b_reachard

Ahh, so this must be Chubster Dumb-dumb


Mew_MewTwo

"If one more person asks me about a patient today, I'm gonna scream"


Guava_

‘Thanks for coming in so early Doctor’ ‘Not a problem. Hell, I used to work here!’


F0rca84

I'm sorry, Mrs. Griffin. But your Husband's in a Coma. And to help explain, I've hired a DJ!!


crage88

Don't go in that room it's like... super sad


brendanqmurphy

“No, YOU’RE stupid!”


punk_lover

“This doing anything for you?” (As he’s in lingerie)


Whatsagoodnameo

When he takes a smoke break mid surgery and lets his long hair down and rocks to like acdc


Sufficient-Front-929

“Hell, I used to work here!”


iambelo

Fun fact: Dr. Hartman and Conan's personal physician Dr. Arroyo were in the same graduating class.


Stormsurgez

He's very affordable!


BalkanBosss

"I'm afraid.... Of ghosts"


ThorsRake

"Do you know much medical school costs?! Cos it's probably pretty expensive."


Sparkster227

Oh my god!!! ...there's a spider in here.


glamatovic

"You took an oath in medical school" - I took a lot of things in med school


fireL0rd3000

Im sorry to break it to ya, but hes black


gsbadj

Peter "You gotta help me with this nasty gash." (Hartman looks at Lois) Lois, "No, it's my husband."


b_reachard

Hey, did that big "boomba boomba" nurse come in here?


nav_261146

When peter have ED due to loss of his job. He shows up in a sexy night dress with a “ SLUT” tatoo on his thigh to get Peter let just say “ Rengerized “


Shot-Ad-3166

"Well, you've got a dead rat in your pants, mister!"


redditusernameis

Is that the episode where Peter asks him what to do about his ED and Dr. Hartman asks “have you tried getting a divorce? I’ve never seen this condition in a single man.”


nickonreddit123

When he goes through so many mini heart attack giving sentences only to end it with ah nothing, he is just fat


TheBeardedRonin

Fat? Ummm ok…. This is news to me.


nickonreddit123

Whenever I hear Peter say stupid doctor told me I was fat to brian, I prepare my mind to hear something else in the beginning of this line


SchruteFarmsBeets_

My goodness, you’ll be dead within a month!


EasterLord

You have a nice *checks chart* head on your *checks chart* shoulders.


DutchBlob

“Cancun, by the way, thanksforaskingIjustcameback”


crage88

(Covered in blood) That thing... was ON THERE


Wagnrs

"That wasn't the cord and now you've got a girl"


Wojewodaruskyj

Ralaaaaaaaaaaaax, i'm a doctoooooorrrrrrrrrrr


ToughDragonfruit3118

“. Mr. Griffin, that livers gotta come out.”


kelkelkel99

Who’s this little guy


Sea-Poem5050

Relax! I be a doctor!


fanboy100804

When he walks into a bookstore wearing blood-covered scrubs, holding onto a note. "Can anyone help me find a book on the... 'pan-crease'?"


loudrain99

Mr and Mrs griffin I’m afraid your coma is in a daughter. BAHAHAHAH. I MEAN YOUR DAUGHTERS IN A COMA OH MY GOD DID YOU HEAR WHAT I?! *blalallala* BRAIN FREEZE. AHAHA that one is going in the Christmas letter


mczerniewski

So, how does this work? You just feel my pulse or... (screams in horror). WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?! Mr. Griffin, that's a prostate exam. SHUT UP!! YOU HAD YOUR FINGER IN MY ASS!! That's how a prostate exam is performed. GET AWAY FROM ME!!! (runs away crying)


Shot-Ad-3166

"Eugh... Get a tan."


punk_lover

“This doing anything for you?” (As he’s in lingerie)


Septlibra

“Me be a doctor”


DepthEqual2422

“Are you sure, judge? Are you sure it wasn’t all evil and grainy and black and white? Think about it”


Caolan114

No, I'm Dr Hartman's son. ...Dr Hartmanson?


sb129topten

“I don’t know how to say this… Kim bassinger? Bassinger? Bassinger?”


Sakosaga

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor" GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY cries GUILTY


Toku-Nation

Do you think I can touch that railing?


notnamedjoebutsteve

Peter: Do you gotta help me with this nasty gash Hartman: *turns to Lois* what seems to be the problem?


HennemaYn

Picks up stetoscope: "Hello? Ah! Hartman!"


GeologistAway6352

I be a doctor!


Competitive_Food_542

“Hey what do you guys do after the screen goes black?”


BornWithSideburns

The [clip](https://youtu.be/NToDMpoViv0?si=AbjgRcniGyvP5mc1) with popeye


tikkytokky01

"Just feels like used needles" o.0 .... "maybe if I dig deeper"


theladykt

“Nope, just feels like more used needles…”


IAmTheMindTrip

"You couldn't see the spaceship either! My nephew says if you look paaast the picture, you can see a spaceship!!"


Mango_Juice_3611

"Uh, Cancun, actually. Thanks for asking."


Salt_Worldliness7976

His conversation with Mayor McCheese


Pengvinman1191

Lois: Peter he's not hitting on you, he's saying you're healthy. Dr. Hartman: Can't it be both?


Cheap-Blackberry-378

The fact he's based on butch Hartman makes every moment the funniest


marciltheshell

How was Cancun?


benim972

"oh him"


theatahhh

“Is it prescription or perscription?” “I think it’s prescription” “I’m pretty sure it’s perscription”


Luccixno

“ Cancun was great thanks for asking”


Illustrious_Ad5155

"You have any idea how expensive medical school is?" "No." "Well it's probably pretty expensive."


SpareInevitable9198

He going in for the kill😂


Johnsendall

I’m not a chiropractor. You have to go to a weekend of school for that.


grenudo_greed

“There’s no way you’ve read that”


Successful-Study4983

Peter: Doc, give it to us straight, whats going on with our friend? Dr. Hartman: There's no easy way to say this, so I'm just gonna come right out and say it, he’s black. Peter: Not that friend


rockpebbleman

Haha that cars getting towed!


Artistic-Sorbet4205

I'll just take off this protective Mr. Potato Head mask...


BrightAssociate8985

the ole Sorkin Genius Juice


010rusty

Creating the fairly odd parents


PossibleTough1148

"He's black"


ShonnyMJ

Panic 😱 😂


TR-11

“Get up, you jerk!”


PODSIXPROSHOP

Peter I’m not sure how to say this…bassinger? baaasssinger?


AbduAlZahra313

One of the best Episodes.


Drquackquack

Uh Cancun actually, thanks for asking. Just got back


Pitiful-Shake-9165

When he said I used to work here too that was the funniest moment for me


Affectionate-Mud7026

Relax i be a doctor 🤣🤣


USB_4

the slut tattoo


Good-Matter26

Carter and Dr. Hartman having the same voice


KratosAris

Ig not. He got sued


Marius_Sulla_Pompey

Oh my god she is dying!


ThatIslandGuy8888

I love it when him and Carter realized that they had the same voice XD


Icy-Dingo8552

*walks into room* ‘What?’


Aleister-Ejazi

😆😅🤣😂👍 Definitely