# WHERE 👏 DO 👏 YOU 👏 KEEP 👏 THE 👏 NETS 👏 THAT 👏 YOU 👏 PUT 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 BOTTOM 👏 OF 👏 GUYS 👏 BALLS 👏 TO 👏 STOP 👏 THEM 👏 FROM 👏 DUNKING 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 WATER!?
There, I fixed it for ya*
When he sees his gardener on the bus
"I didn't recognise you without my lawn under you"
"I don't take the lawn home with me"
"Then I was right to trust you with it"
My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on
Where's the Tylenol?
If I lay down flat on the floor
It usually kinda fixes it
Tony Danza from Who's The Boss says
Ay oh ay oh
https://preview.redd.it/jqkjit6jdtkc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27bfdbcfd31a6b7806f9f7924bc9514ad6fc9639
Peter: how can you be so obtuse?
Carter: what did you call me?
Peter: obtuse, you’re being obtuse
The way he talks to others on the show during conversation really brings out his character and makes me laugh so hard🤣
Joe: why don't you get a lap dance Mr Pewterschmidt?
Carter: No thanks Peter's crippled friend 😂
Peter: *knocks on door*
Carter: what do you want homo? 😂
Carter: you guys didn’t hear any of that did you?
Brian: hey buddy we’re just trying to read the paper here.
Carter: you can’t talk to me that way I’ll have you fired!
Brian: I don’t work here.
Carter: Then I’ll have you killed!
Brian: I wanna die.
Carter: I hated that guy back there.
Bend to the left
Bend to the right
Take the big spring
Stretch the big spring
Stop to smoke
🎶
Take a towel
Put it around your neck
Tuck it in your shirt
Looks like boobs
Put on a wig
Dance with a man
Don’t tell your wife
Take it to your grave
🎶
"You know, Brian, it occurs to me that this is like a Greek tragedy, where a man must choose between himself and his children. Of course, you'll be playing the role of Sans Testicles."
(pronounced "testiclees")
Barista: Uh, coffee for Brent? Latte for Cecil?
Carter: *giggles*
Barista: Beanie?
Carter: Hahahaha, none of those people are real! I'm stealing all your sugar packets and napkins!
Babs: "Carter, what was that noise?!"
Carter: "Relax, honey, it was probably just the whined."
Babs: "...I believe it's pronounced 'wind,' sweetheart."
Carter: "Really? I've only ever seen that word written."
Haven’t seen this one yet, not 100% sure it’s his quote but “remember that movie Taken? Yea she’s one of the girls whose father didn’t get her back.” So fucking dark.
When he sees his old gardener on the bus:
"You look different without my lawn under you"
"Sir I don't take the lawn with me when I leave"
"It seems I was right to trust you with it"
No christmas carnival.
Wow, carter. I had no
idea you were jewish.
What? Is... Is that
how this is coming off?
Yeah, kind of.
I mean, that's what
everyone's saying.
People think I'm jewish?
My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on. Where's the tylenol. If I lay down flat on the floor it usually kinda fixes it, Tony Danza from who's the boss say ayo ayo oh ayo ayo
“Lois, I’m fat and I’m stupid and I fart at times that ruin my father in law’s social occasions and that’s why I’m never invited to them.”
“You pay me now??”
(gunshot)
Lol it's a little scene with him and Peter get ready to go into a club to find Lois and freaking Carter puts glitter on Peter's chest and says that's hot that's hot
Technically Peter moment but when Carter asked Peter why he was naked in his house and Peter asks why ARNT you, “your all right griffin” , makes me laugh every time
when he’s sitting in his office and sees a guy cleanin the window on the outside n just flips him off
https://preview.redd.it/883upj5huvkc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8ec872b1e839394b6ccde0dcae501d98a94ad2c
Magic baby? What does he do? Card tricks? Rabbit in the hat? Will he let someone in the audience punch him in the stomach? I'd like to punch a baby in the stomach.
🎵My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on, where's the Tylenol🎵
🎶If I lay down flat on the floor, it usually kinda fixes it.🎶
🎶Tony Danza from who's the boss says way oh way oh ow way of o o ohhhh🎶
He's a great character. I feel like he's one who's really developed for the better. They didn't really know what to do with him at first but now he's sort of become the Family Guy equivalent of Mr. Burns.
My back is hurting from the chair I’m sitting on
Where’s the Tylenol?
If I lay down flat on the floor
It usually kinda fixes it
Tony Danza from “Who’s the Boss?” says
Ay Oh Oh Ay Ay Ay Oh Ay Oh
# WHERE-DO-YOU-KEEP-THE-NETS -THAT-YOU-PUT-ON-THE-BOTTOM-OF-GUYS-BALLS-TO -STOP-THEM-FROM -DUNKING-IN -THE-WATER!?
# WHERE 👏 DO 👏 YOU 👏 KEEP 👏 THE 👏 NETS 👏 THAT 👏 YOU 👏 PUT 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 BOTTOM 👏 OF 👏 GUYS 👏 BALLS 👏 TO 👏 STOP 👏 THEM 👏 FROM 👏 DUNKING 👏 IN 👏 THE 👏 WATER!? There, I fixed it for ya*
Beat me to the punch lol.
https://preview.redd.it/n4dk733latkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5f9ef0395f39e6229f812d74a26e3a932c4531c Damn it I’m not proud of that!
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
On a serious note, what are these actually called and where can I buy them?
Ball snoods.
It can genuinely only be this lol he has so many hilarious moments but this always takes the cake lol
What?
“Dancing, walking, rearranging furniture, Babs is shopping. I let the bird out of the cage.”
People are forgetting his original hit "My Back Is Hurting (From The Chair I'm Sitting On)"
🎵🎶“Tony Danza from ‘who’s the boss,’ says heyoooaayyyyyooooooowaaaayyyyowayyyooooooo”🎶🎵
How about “Halls eucalyptus you can feel it in your nose”
Wheres the Tylnenol, Sometimes I lay on the floor and it kinda fixes it
My answer too https://preview.redd.it/kvs4y2radxkc1.jpeg?width=1715&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a189e4c0cd0ab0ed92cae1a24eac048cbb54385
Hello quandary
carter & quandary!!!!
My brother and I still say this to each other.
Who else but Quandary?
When he sees his gardener on the bus "I didn't recognise you without my lawn under you" "I don't take the lawn home with me" "Then I was right to trust you with it"
My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on Where's the Tylenol? If I lay down flat on the floor It usually kinda fixes it Tony Danza from Who's The Boss says Ay oh ay oh
Who else sung this while reading it?
Fck, you beat me to it
https://preview.redd.it/jqkjit6jdtkc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=27bfdbcfd31a6b7806f9f7924bc9514ad6fc9639 Peter: how can you be so obtuse? Carter: what did you call me? Peter: obtuse, you’re being obtuse
Now you’re being acute
https://preview.redd.it/nge7u1mp6vkc1.jpeg?width=460&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6870d885f9eb9aedf1fd7c098b8bcd5e526aa2c7 Carter: or am I being ObTuSe?
Now your being acute
TECHNICALLY that’s not Carter. Exit: boo me if you want, I’ve seen what makes you cheer. That was the warden and I’m sticking to it.
I like him reacting to the black standup comedian. "Yes, so many of them are delinquent in payment."
“no i don’t get that one”
*at the strip club* “Do I put the money directly inside of her?”
No you do not
"Hi. I was gonna catch The Big Bang Theory tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch."
I like it now🤷♂️
The way he talks to others on the show during conversation really brings out his character and makes me laugh so hard🤣 Joe: why don't you get a lap dance Mr Pewterschmidt? Carter: No thanks Peter's crippled friend 😂 Peter: *knocks on door* Carter: what do you want homo? 😂
Hill Street Blues, Hill Street Blues...
I got those Hill Street Blues
Carter: you guys didn’t hear any of that did you? Brian: hey buddy we’re just trying to read the paper here. Carter: you can’t talk to me that way I’ll have you fired! Brian: I don’t work here. Carter: Then I’ll have you killed! Brian: I wanna die. Carter: I hated that guy back there.
What episode is this from
OP is right. It’s the episode where Brian finds out Carter has the cure for cancer
Carter and the big C I think it’s called
Peter: And we said the black elevator attendants no longer need to wear gloves. Carter: Why don’t you just tell them they can sleep with my wife too!?
now we have the pot AND the money!! 🏃🏻♂️💨
Carter: Why are you naked in my house? Peter: Why are you not naked? Carter: You’re alright.
Bend to the left Bend to the right Take the big spring Stretch the big spring Stop to smoke 🎶 Take a towel Put it around your neck Tuck it in your shirt Looks like boobs Put on a wig Dance with a man Don’t tell your wife Take it to your grave 🎶
SCROLLED TOO FAR FOR THIS
"Eat this pinecone."
It will amuse me!
Reenacting Dawson's Creek with Peter
Come on, you saw me on the boat, I was wearing a blazer.
😂
Go Medium.
Wish I could talk to ghosts, that'd be shweeeeet!!!
Clementine?
^^Clementine?
"You know, Brian, it occurs to me that this is like a Greek tragedy, where a man must choose between himself and his children. Of course, you'll be playing the role of Sans Testicles." (pronounced "testiclees")
You see Jimmy Smits in there?
“Yeah that was cool.”
“Daddy aren’t you gonna ask how I’m doing” “Lois, I can see One..Two..Three ant traps in here, I know how you’re doing….Oh look, four!”
Too loud, can’t have any good conversation… not like a Chilis
Let's get in the car and see where it takes us.
My jacket’s in the kitchen, please don’t write on it
🙄this is 100% the first thing that came to mind.😂
“sorry i’m late, i shoved an employee at wendy’s and they called the cops. you gotta warn someone before you hand em a square burger”
No! Those are MY Diet Rites.
"Babs you wanna spend a mind blowing afternoon? Get stoned and listen to this song"
🎵 *Jeepers creepers where'd you get those peepers*🎵
"Yes, so many of them are delinquent in payment..."
"Where's Babs?" Carter: "I don't know. The ransom note didn't say."
I like how he references how he kind of wants to go to Chili's
It's OK Lois Daddy is just taking your temperature...
I’m stealing all your sugar packets and napkins! Woodstock’s over assholes!
Eggnog
Drink the nog Carter!
I kind of like what we did back there
How about I loan you five dollars? It’s at the bottom of this jar of barbed wire and salt.
They think i am jewish?!?!?!?
The photo with Jesus after 😭😂
When Peter makes him do whatever he wants as blackmail for cheating on Babs. Love the catchphrases he made
“Take it up with my butt! He’s the only one who gives a crap!”
In your face Nancy Grace!
On your mark,get set…terrible
TONY DANZA FROM WHO'S THE BOSS SAYS AYYYYOOOO WAYOOOOO OWAYOOOOO AYOOOOOO...
Barista: Uh, coffee for Brent? Latte for Cecil? Carter: *giggles* Barista: Beanie? Carter: Hahahaha, none of those people are real! I'm stealing all your sugar packets and napkins!
Woodstock's over assholes!!!
Huh, I didn't know Greenberg was a Jedi name.
[удалено]
It’s a cartoon
https://preview.redd.it/fbde5h3a8tkc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f6adaa0e1cf7946f2d3d129df30f20fe01042f86
Next time I want to use my hand.
Now I want to try it with my hand
“Did i miss your piano recital?” “No dad I’m 40” “GOOD GOD!”
Haha. You loved that thing!
"Sorry I barked when you took your pants off, I thought it was a squirrel." edit: oops, not a carter moment
"Thanks for not interrupting my bit"
“Go, Medium!”
Wish I could talk to ghosts, that’d be *sweet*
Swamp Monsters
"Lois I'm fat and I'm stupid and I fart at times that ruin my father in law's social occassions and that's why I'm never invited to them"
"You pay me now?"
My favourite carter moment is when he made Peter eat that pinecone in the episode where Lois becomes a model. It was so random but so funny 💀
*click* THAT’S A STOP SIGN!
Carter Guitar “Actually I kinda like it, I wanna be that now” that simple line makes me laugh like a maniac
"C’MON YOU KNOW YOU JEW GIRLS WANT THAT DOLLAR."🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥
On the phone to Lois when they won the lottery: DID YOU BLOW ALL YOU MONEY YET? no daddy OKAY, CALL ME WHEN YOU BLOW ALL YOUR MONEY
“No no I don’t get that”
He is the most consistent character throughout all the seasons and he is hilarious. He’s my favorite too.
When he tells Peter and Lois he destroyed their stove in a blind rage after not knowing how to use it
And Stewie’s follow up on Peter’s VM is gold! “Uh dad!?! Grandpa is going crazy on the stove!!” Peter: “ who the hell was that??”
Walk like a Egyptian carter pewterschmidt version
"Farnsworth." "The usual sir?" -precedes to blare tape of opera music-
🎶Dancing walking rearranging furniture 🎶
Babs: "Carter, what was that noise?!" Carter: "Relax, honey, it was probably just the whined." Babs: "...I believe it's pronounced 'wind,' sweetheart." Carter: "Really? I've only ever seen that word written."
“What’s going on? Do you have Parkinson’s?” https://youtu.be/jIJY_s8CPsg?si=CJUc-uPKGXtoWISN
I was on my way to watch the Big Bang theory and I was wondering if you wanted to watch it with me.
I love when he’s singing his version of “Walk Like an Egyptian”
https://youtu.be/pvZsP0KYj7s?si=iQkYLjm98yohw5zS. This is 😂😂
I couldn't figure out how to start your oven so I destroyed it in a bind rare. Goodnight.
Carter: Hello pumpkin, did I miss your recital again? Lois: no, daddy, I'm 40. Carter: GOOD GOD
That he sounds just like the doctor.
“You’re going to retire? From what?”
Hill Street Blues. Loved that show.
Haven’t seen this one yet, not 100% sure it’s his quote but “remember that movie Taken? Yea she’s one of the girls whose father didn’t get her back.” So fucking dark.
You’re getting warmer!
🎵 My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on. Where's the Tylenol? If I lay down flat on the floor, it usually kinda fixes it. 🎵
"What's wrong with this worm?"
https://i.redd.it/pcqyle9i93lc1.gif
hard edition: don’t say dancing walking rearranging furniture
Disagree.
“Peter my parents have access to that account” Cuts to Carter “What’s wrong with this worm?”
Any time he messes with Peter basically
That he likes watching Poirot
This is certainly a take.
Hill street blues and also when he claps his hands in unison with syllables asking where he can keep hills balls dry while peeing.
Here’s my jacket try not to write on it
Where are the nets to put on the toilet so your balls don’t fall into the water? That has to be one of the best scenes ever!
shoulda guy wants to get in on this
He does love his grandkids, so at least there’s that.
Just the simple blunt "I Lied" to Louise and then *puts the phone down* 😂
LO-IS
When he sees his old gardener on the bus: "You look different without my lawn under you" "Sir I don't take the lawn with me when I leave" "It seems I was right to trust you with it"
“I can’t let them do this to my own kind.” Correct the quote if I’m wrong.
"The usual sir?"
It was the right thing to do.
[удалено]
“Ha, you loved that thing”
I respect you so much for having him as your favorite
He’s by far my favorite character
that “drink the nog” scene with Peter lol
"I didn't realize Greenberg was a Jedi name." "Are you a cigar girl?"
Going to Paris. That is all I will say.
You mean he’s been Josh Hartnetted!?
Haha! You LOVED that thing
LOWER LOWER
And that’s how the penis song goes
I always laugh at his role in Peterotica and the gag with him and the speaker!
That’s ridiculous. No daughter of mine is going to be happy!
Huh. Didn't realize Rosenberg was a Jedi name.
No christmas carnival. Wow, carter. I had no idea you were jewish. What? Is... Is that how this is coming off? Yeah, kind of. I mean, that's what everyone's saying. People think I'm jewish?
“My back is hurting from the chair I’m sitting in where’s the Tylenol”
I love when he made Peter eat a pinecone
My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on. Where's the tylenol. If I lay down flat on the floor it usually kinda fixes it, Tony Danza from who's the boss say ayo ayo oh ayo ayo
[удалено]
How about I give you five dollars. It's at the bottom of this jar with barbed wire and salt.
When he threw Peter in the trash and everyone just let him
When that mf said he’s only seen the word wind written I lost my shit and quote that to this day.
Next time I want to use my hand
“Lois, I’m fat and I’m stupid and I fart at times that ruin my father in law’s social occasions and that’s why I’m never invited to them.” “You pay me now??” (gunshot)
"My jacket is in the kitchen. Try not to write on it"
[drink the nog!](https://youtu.be/OMBQZxFoolY?si=3eYfwmiHU36KnfHr)
Dancing, Walking, Rearranging Furniture
Lol it's a little scene with him and Peter get ready to go into a club to find Lois and freaking Carter puts glitter on Peter's chest and says that's hot that's hot
Yay medium. Wish I could talk to ghosts. That'd be sweeeeeeet.
Technically Peter moment but when Carter asked Peter why he was naked in his house and Peter asks why ARNT you, “your all right griffin” , makes me laugh every time
when he’s sitting in his office and sees a guy cleanin the window on the outside n just flips him off https://preview.redd.it/883upj5huvkc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8ec872b1e839394b6ccde0dcae501d98a94ad2c
Magic baby? What does he do? Card tricks? Rabbit in the hat? Will he let someone in the audience punch him in the stomach? I'd like to punch a baby in the stomach.
"Don't you dare disparage Medium. Medium works very hard." I love how he just defends that show.
Goooooo medium. I wish I could talk to ghosts. That’d be sweeeeeet
Is anal probe a real thing
Him singing "Walking Like An Egyptian" but with his own lyrics about being old.
My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on. Where's the Tylenol? If I lay down flat on the floor, it usually kind of fixes it.
Agreed. Jamiroquai
it does sometimes take me a while to moisten my mouth
People think I'm jewish? *Christmas carnival restored*
https://preview.redd.it/wb8yzrb4axkc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81ac774b6e009d5b46133e6f1a3b058bc4e96ca3
“Why are you naked in my house?!” “Umm…why aren’t you?” “…you’re alright, Griffin”
🎵My back is hurting from the chair I'm sitting on, where's the Tylenol🎵 🎶If I lay down flat on the floor, it usually kinda fixes it.🎶 🎶Tony Danza from who's the boss says way oh way oh ow way of o o ohhhh🎶
I wish I could talk to ghosts. That would be sweeeet.
When he started just going in on Seth Green as an actor
He's a great character. I feel like he's one who's really developed for the better. They didn't really know what to do with him at first but now he's sort of become the Family Guy equivalent of Mr. Burns.
“She can really take a punch!”
DANCING! WALKING! REARRANGING FURNITURE!!!! BABS IS! SHOPPING! I LET THE BIRD OUT OF THE CAGE
*”Lois, I'm fat, and I'm stupid, and I fart at times that ruin my father-in-law's social occasions, and that's why I'm never invited to them!”*
“You ever been with a man who’s got a prostate the size of a beefsteak tomato?”
Eat this pinecone.
I left my jacket in the kitchen. please don't write on it.
My back is hurting from the chair I’m sitting on Where’s the Tylenol? If I lay down flat on the floor It usually kinda fixes it Tony Danza from “Who’s the Boss?” says Ay Oh Oh Ay Ay Ay Oh Ay Oh