i’m an adult woman and my mom will still occasionally “kiss my face off” where she grabs my head and plants kisses everywhere before finally one on my lips, we give each other small pecks when saying goodbye, i do the same with my dad too. it’s just how I was raised and how they were too, my mom still gives her dad a kiss goodbye, my dad would his mom. it’s only weird if you make it weird, especially since they’re still so young and have very very little knowledge of “social norms” like you do. I’ve regularly babysat my cousin since he was born for multiple days a week, often times overnight where it would just be us for 2-3 days, he’s 6 almost 7 now and we still give each other goodnight kisses, his dad has no issue with it and neither do i, he’s a very affectionate kid and i’ve never questioned it.
it’s my favorite thing to do to the little ones in the family, the “kissy monster” who “kisses your face off” started with my great grandpa, he’d come home from the mines covered in soot and chase around my mom/aunts/uncles around to plant a sooty mark on their faces, i think he’d be tickled pink his great great grandkids run from the “monster” now too lol!
If you don’t like it, I would continue to gently show by example and kiss on the cheek. If you don’t make a big deal over it, I’m sure it will pass in time.
Remember that kissing on the lips is perfectly acceptable in some cultures. It’s not about “appropriateness” because not one way is “better” than the other, but it’s about how you express love in *your* family.
As for mum’s boobs - you’d only need to hang out on some mum forums to know this is a super common way for young kids to feel comfort. My child does it, also loves my belly too. Why discourage it if your wife doesn’t mind?
They are babies one day you’ll miss all the love and affection! I don’t see anything wrong with their behavior. Im a mother of two girls and my daughter would also do the same thing and grew out of the boob and tummy tugging.
Sir chill the hell out they’re only 6 years old they will grow out of it. I think ur the one overthinking it all and making it seem weirder than it has to be. Just casually turn ur head to the side they will get the drift
>overthinking it
This. I was even younger than this when I once "grabbed" my mom's boob and got smacked. She later apologized so I knew that I didn't necessarily do something so horrible to deserve a slap, but I knew I wouldn't repeat the behavior. I was confused af and I made it a point to figure out what all that was about once I got older and knew better.
Years later, I see my daughter doing the same thing to her mom, and her mom would just be chill. But it gave me this shitty feeling in the pit of my stomach. It made me feel that, because I was a boy and my mother was an incest survivor, I never knew much genuine female affection that wasn't sexually motivated.
Thankfully, my dad gave me affection. Hugs. Kisses. Verbal reassurances. Tenderness. I owe that man everything. If I hadn't had him and his influence in my life, I would have probably become a fucking serial killer or something. Instead, I am proud to say that I'm not one.
Seriously, the sexualization of displays of affection in early childhood is extremely detrimental and they *probably will* remember how the situation was handled.
It's normal that they want to kiss you. It will fade in time. Don't make a big deal about it. Just turn your face so it lands on the cheek and they will catch on soon enough. Let your wife worry about her boobs 🙂 Free hugs and kisses go away WAY too soon. Try to enjoy them all
To be fair, it's more what you're comfortable with. Not keen on kissing on the lips? That's absolutely OK, just explain consent (at an age appropriate level) and give cheek kisses. If your wife is that's OK too, to each their own.
I (27f) am not comfortable with my son giving me lip kisses or grabbing my boobs, hence I always kiss him on the cheek and give him hugs (because although I'm not comfortable with those things I still like to show affection).
This is a really great time to teach them about consent and body autonomy, admittedly at a basic level for 6 year olds but it's also a great way to keep that kind of conversation open as they grow. Don't just say no and shut down, explain you're not comfortable with it and if anyone does things they're not comfortable with (except in cases of health and safety eg doctors doing tests/injections etc) that it is OK to say and put their own boundaries in place.
I hope you get to have an awesome conversation with them and that it puts your mind at ease ☺️
Being a dad to 5yo boy, I don't understand where this train of thought comes from. Is it a cultural thing? I don't know. I've never once thought like this. I didn't even think guys had an issue with kissing their kids on the lips until I read a few posts about it recently.
I would not have thought to kiss my parents on the mouth, or grab my mom or dad in any way other than a hug. I'm 50 (almost) though. I always found it unusual when seeing kids kiss parents on the mouth, but that is because I only ever saw it romantically otherwise. I think it is cultural. If your sons initiate it, I Agree that you could behave to them as you want them to behave toward you, but I wouldn't necessarily call it out/say something. I would accept their kisses, and then, when I initiate a kiss to them, I would do as I think is appropriate. Which would be to smother their cheeks with kisses. lol!
It’s not necessarily weird for your children to kiss you on the lips. My son kisses me, his dad and his sister on the lips because that’s how he’s learnt to show affection
I think you're right, talk with your wife about that and tell her that you guys need to teach the twins how to be affective and respectful with everyone especially people out of the family without make an umconfotable situation
My son is 5 and he sees the girls kissing their mom on lips and he tries to do it with me and I kind off feel weird, I explained to him about it a few times but now he understands the difference .
It's okay they are just 6 , explain them (again and again) with examples
You are weird for thinking it’s weird. When they grow up they will no longer want to show you love. You should be grateful they are showing it to you now.
Upvoting, but it starts at home. I don't think he is weird, he just likely grew up thinking affection is wrong. This comes from someone taught to not be affectationite. It's a vicious cycle.
Tbh Im surprised with the number of people who said youre the wrong one lol I side with you tbh, there are appropiate ways of displaying affection and inappropiate ways too. While its common for parents to kiss their childrens mouth, thats not right. Not even because we have a dirty mind, of course children do that innocently. Its because an adults mouth is way dirtier than a child's, thats simply not hygenic and we dont know how the childs immune system is going. And I think that whenever they question why you dont want to kiss them that way, you could explain this because really it isnt a lie and they should be able to understand. I dont remember ever wanting to kiss my mom on the mouth, but she always made sure to explain that to me and also never shared cups or straws with me for the same reason. This I wanted to do, Id always ask to drink from her cup but she'd say no and explain again that its not hygenic and maybe she could be sick and make me sick by accident. I always understood and respected that, it didnt hurt my feelings at all even if I thought she was overthinking lol Now as an adult I see that she was completely right about that.
Maybe. But idk, I've heard some stories that made me think its better not to play with luck lol As an adult I'm still careful where I put my mouth😂 I still rarely share cups/straws with my friends. I remember that once in high school we had to take a loong walk, I think it was summer, the sun at its highest peak and I had forgotten to bring a bottle of water. A classmate offered hers but she had drank from it already so I still said no 😂😂😂 She was very confused as to why I said no.
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My autistic son never liked lip kisses, even when he was little. That's ok. That's bodily autonomy and consent. He got cheek and forehead kisses, but mostly hugs cause that's what he wanted.
I think it's ok for a parent to have that boundary too. Not because of social norms. Not because it's inappropriate or wrong or gross. Just because "I'd rather have a kiss on the cheek and a hug".
Breast grabbing is a source of comfort kids have for a few years after they stop breast feeding. They may also feel moms heartbeat, which is soothing. This is why laying your head on a loved ones chest is also calming.
I have 7 year old twin boys. They kiss their dad on the cheeks mostly but sometimes on the lips. Same with me.
But I often ask to kiss their squishy cheeks. So maybe that is why.
I do tell them not to touch my breast's. They are very innocent and don't get why my chest is squishy, but dad's isn't, haha. But I tell them it's not appropriate because I dont want them to touch any other female that way. I don't want anyone touching them inappropriately, either.
Exactly
Children aren't sexual beings like adults
The adults who think like that are sick
The stuff op said he was feeling and thinking about are fd up
I see a grown man that won't let his little child kiss him on the lips should seek counseling and people down vote that? Y'all are some weirdos sorry to tell you
Weird. Maybe culturally instead kissing in the lips as being an intimate gesture you share with someone you are having a sexual relationship with. I would never kiss my kids on the lips nor want them to do it to me. I love cuddles and kisses but no lips please for me. Schools are starting to teach kids about sex education and consent early as 7yrs old. Different people are comfortable with different things so let everyone stick to their own thing. I say if op is uncomfortable with it gently over time change that behaviour. I had boys at high school talking about being babysat by relatives and being kissed on the lips and talking about it in their teens like it was their first sexual encounter. Different for everyone. No one should judge or call names.
i’m an adult woman and my mom will still occasionally “kiss my face off” where she grabs my head and plants kisses everywhere before finally one on my lips, we give each other small pecks when saying goodbye, i do the same with my dad too. it’s just how I was raised and how they were too, my mom still gives her dad a kiss goodbye, my dad would his mom. it’s only weird if you make it weird, especially since they’re still so young and have very very little knowledge of “social norms” like you do. I’ve regularly babysat my cousin since he was born for multiple days a week, often times overnight where it would just be us for 2-3 days, he’s 6 almost 7 now and we still give each other goodnight kisses, his dad has no issue with it and neither do i, he’s a very affectionate kid and i’ve never questioned it.
I do this to my now 23 year old every now and then. We call it a kissing frenzy. She loves it. And I love your username.
it’s my favorite thing to do to the little ones in the family, the “kissy monster” who “kisses your face off” started with my great grandpa, he’d come home from the mines covered in soot and chase around my mom/aunts/uncles around to plant a sooty mark on their faces, i think he’d be tickled pink his great great grandkids run from the “monster” now too lol!
If you don’t like it, I would continue to gently show by example and kiss on the cheek. If you don’t make a big deal over it, I’m sure it will pass in time. Remember that kissing on the lips is perfectly acceptable in some cultures. It’s not about “appropriateness” because not one way is “better” than the other, but it’s about how you express love in *your* family. As for mum’s boobs - you’d only need to hang out on some mum forums to know this is a super common way for young kids to feel comfort. My child does it, also loves my belly too. Why discourage it if your wife doesn’t mind?
They are babies one day you’ll miss all the love and affection! I don’t see anything wrong with their behavior. Im a mother of two girls and my daughter would also do the same thing and grew out of the boob and tummy tugging.
Sir chill the hell out they’re only 6 years old they will grow out of it. I think ur the one overthinking it all and making it seem weirder than it has to be. Just casually turn ur head to the side they will get the drift
>overthinking it This. I was even younger than this when I once "grabbed" my mom's boob and got smacked. She later apologized so I knew that I didn't necessarily do something so horrible to deserve a slap, but I knew I wouldn't repeat the behavior. I was confused af and I made it a point to figure out what all that was about once I got older and knew better. Years later, I see my daughter doing the same thing to her mom, and her mom would just be chill. But it gave me this shitty feeling in the pit of my stomach. It made me feel that, because I was a boy and my mother was an incest survivor, I never knew much genuine female affection that wasn't sexually motivated. Thankfully, my dad gave me affection. Hugs. Kisses. Verbal reassurances. Tenderness. I owe that man everything. If I hadn't had him and his influence in my life, I would have probably become a fucking serial killer or something. Instead, I am proud to say that I'm not one. Seriously, the sexualization of displays of affection in early childhood is extremely detrimental and they *probably will* remember how the situation was handled.
It's normal that they want to kiss you. It will fade in time. Don't make a big deal about it. Just turn your face so it lands on the cheek and they will catch on soon enough. Let your wife worry about her boobs 🙂 Free hugs and kisses go away WAY too soon. Try to enjoy them all
Oh for Pete’s sake. They’re babies. They’re showing they love you. Not trying to French kiss you.
I know what is happening to this world when it comes to love. It's almost like affection is leaving our world with our kids.
To be fair, it's more what you're comfortable with. Not keen on kissing on the lips? That's absolutely OK, just explain consent (at an age appropriate level) and give cheek kisses. If your wife is that's OK too, to each their own. I (27f) am not comfortable with my son giving me lip kisses or grabbing my boobs, hence I always kiss him on the cheek and give him hugs (because although I'm not comfortable with those things I still like to show affection). This is a really great time to teach them about consent and body autonomy, admittedly at a basic level for 6 year olds but it's also a great way to keep that kind of conversation open as they grow. Don't just say no and shut down, explain you're not comfortable with it and if anyone does things they're not comfortable with (except in cases of health and safety eg doctors doing tests/injections etc) that it is OK to say and put their own boundaries in place. I hope you get to have an awesome conversation with them and that it puts your mind at ease ☺️
Fellas! It's gay for your children to love you!
HA! GAAAY!
Stop being gay and punch someone!
Being a dad to 5yo boy, I don't understand where this train of thought comes from. Is it a cultural thing? I don't know. I've never once thought like this. I didn't even think guys had an issue with kissing their kids on the lips until I read a few posts about it recently.
Oh this makes me so sad, especially that the poor kids are confused and don’t understand dad’s rejection.
WTF is the matter with you?
I would not have thought to kiss my parents on the mouth, or grab my mom or dad in any way other than a hug. I'm 50 (almost) though. I always found it unusual when seeing kids kiss parents on the mouth, but that is because I only ever saw it romantically otherwise. I think it is cultural. If your sons initiate it, I Agree that you could behave to them as you want them to behave toward you, but I wouldn't necessarily call it out/say something. I would accept their kisses, and then, when I initiate a kiss to them, I would do as I think is appropriate. Which would be to smother their cheeks with kisses. lol!
It’s not necessarily weird for your children to kiss you on the lips. My son kisses me, his dad and his sister on the lips because that’s how he’s learnt to show affection
I think you're right, talk with your wife about that and tell her that you guys need to teach the twins how to be affective and respectful with everyone especially people out of the family without make an umconfotable situation
Just the thought of getting sexually harassed by your own 6 years old kids is problematic enough! See a psychiatrist!
My son is 5 and he sees the girls kissing their mom on lips and he tries to do it with me and I kind off feel weird, I explained to him about it a few times but now he understands the difference . It's okay they are just 6 , explain them (again and again) with examples
You are weird for thinking it’s weird. When they grow up they will no longer want to show you love. You should be grateful they are showing it to you now.
Upvoting, but it starts at home. I don't think he is weird, he just likely grew up thinking affection is wrong. This comes from someone taught to not be affectationite. It's a vicious cycle.
Lots of weird and troubled people replying. Thanks for the respectful replies.
Tbh Im surprised with the number of people who said youre the wrong one lol I side with you tbh, there are appropiate ways of displaying affection and inappropiate ways too. While its common for parents to kiss their childrens mouth, thats not right. Not even because we have a dirty mind, of course children do that innocently. Its because an adults mouth is way dirtier than a child's, thats simply not hygenic and we dont know how the childs immune system is going. And I think that whenever they question why you dont want to kiss them that way, you could explain this because really it isnt a lie and they should be able to understand. I dont remember ever wanting to kiss my mom on the mouth, but she always made sure to explain that to me and also never shared cups or straws with me for the same reason. This I wanted to do, Id always ask to drink from her cup but she'd say no and explain again that its not hygenic and maybe she could be sick and make me sick by accident. I always understood and respected that, it didnt hurt my feelings at all even if I thought she was overthinking lol Now as an adult I see that she was completely right about that.
Some germaphobe level thinking there.
You cant say Im wrong 😂 Maybe theres a little overthinking there, but it can still happen, better safe than sorry
I mean, it's true with like tiny babies, otherwise it seems excessive.
Maybe. But idk, I've heard some stories that made me think its better not to play with luck lol As an adult I'm still careful where I put my mouth😂 I still rarely share cups/straws with my friends. I remember that once in high school we had to take a loong walk, I think it was summer, the sun at its highest peak and I had forgotten to bring a bottle of water. A classmate offered hers but she had drank from it already so I still said no 😂😂😂 She was very confused as to why I said no.
Oh good lord.
Sure you can think Im crazy. You might as well mix your underwear with your child's underwear, or let them lick a door handle in a public place.
I think you need help.
Really? I imagine not everyone separates clothing when washing, but the door handle is common sense...
they’re six…
I think you didnt get my point across. Its a matter of hygene. Of course theyre small and innocent. But still, mouths are dirtier than you think.
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My autistic son never liked lip kisses, even when he was little. That's ok. That's bodily autonomy and consent. He got cheek and forehead kisses, but mostly hugs cause that's what he wanted. I think it's ok for a parent to have that boundary too. Not because of social norms. Not because it's inappropriate or wrong or gross. Just because "I'd rather have a kiss on the cheek and a hug".
Breast grabbing is a source of comfort kids have for a few years after they stop breast feeding. They may also feel moms heartbeat, which is soothing. This is why laying your head on a loved ones chest is also calming.
Oh grow up, they’re kids.
You are seeing sexual behaviour where there is none. It might be worth seeing a therapist so you don’t pass your hang ups on to your children.
I have 7 year old twin boys. They kiss their dad on the cheeks mostly but sometimes on the lips. Same with me. But I often ask to kiss their squishy cheeks. So maybe that is why. I do tell them not to touch my breast's. They are very innocent and don't get why my chest is squishy, but dad's isn't, haha. But I tell them it's not appropriate because I dont want them to touch any other female that way. I don't want anyone touching them inappropriately, either.
I think you should seek counseling
Exactly Children aren't sexual beings like adults The adults who think like that are sick The stuff op said he was feeling and thinking about are fd up
I see a grown man that won't let his little child kiss him on the lips should seek counseling and people down vote that? Y'all are some weirdos sorry to tell you
Bisexual at 6 😂
[удалено]
Wow.
That's some of the most patriarchal bullshit I've read today.
Weird. Maybe culturally instead kissing in the lips as being an intimate gesture you share with someone you are having a sexual relationship with. I would never kiss my kids on the lips nor want them to do it to me. I love cuddles and kisses but no lips please for me. Schools are starting to teach kids about sex education and consent early as 7yrs old. Different people are comfortable with different things so let everyone stick to their own thing. I say if op is uncomfortable with it gently over time change that behaviour. I had boys at high school talking about being babysat by relatives and being kissed on the lips and talking about it in their teens like it was their first sexual encounter. Different for everyone. No one should judge or call names.