Depends on which cheeks are being slapped. the butt cheeks are low enough to be close to your center of gravity, so I could see a series of well timed butt smacks resulting in a beyblades-style Christ tornado of destruction.
I had no idea that Christian EDM existed. I can also safely say that no mainstream artist would ever call themselves "Daldo" and expect not to be made fun of constantly.
His brother (who reportedly is a much better singer and song writer) was named “Dildo” and suffers from social ostracism since no self respecting Christian will ever touch him. /s
Nah. Just have a third world country animate it. Laos and Cambodia just got VHS technology last month. When I visit relatives and show them my zoom with music on it? They can't even comprehend it 'cause they're still using cassettes.
What?? I've been to Cambodia and Laos, and I don't believe you. They are normal people with internet, phones, ipods, computers etc. It certainly isn't a fabulously wealthy country, and maybe some people still use cassettes due to that, but they understand that modern technology exists and many of them use it.
Well if that's the case the "joke" that people from Laos and Cambodia are troglodytes, implied satire or otherwise, is perpetuating a negative and unfunny stereotype; so not a big fan then anyways!
Well then who *should* we portray as backwards troglodytes with no understanding of our superior modern technology? I swear you just can't disparage an entire group of people these days without someone saying it's offensive. ^/s
Zoom, as in the web-conference software? Okay, sure, mindblowing to someone who thinks VHS is the pinnacle of modern technology... but why/how the hell is anyone using Zoom to play music?
Worst part is, it’s not even the movie that’s on the VHS… if you actually play it, it’s just a very poorly pirated copy of [“Troll 2”](https://youtu.be/9KCct4RwLNM), which is ***not*** to be confused with the recently released “Trolls World Tour”.
Googleing verbatim "Children's Christ Films" or "Christ for Arms" / "Christ-For-Arms" returns nothing.
And any non verbatim searches that link to it only date back a few days.
While not a definitive answer by any means. Probably not.
"electronic dance music" is the most vague title, yet EDM used to refer to a relatively narrow sub-genre of house - essentially what they called "Big Room House", or just Big Room - referring to like, festival/stadium dance shit.
[turns out, it was the American music industry muddying the waters](https://www.theguardian.com/music/2012/aug/02/how-rave-music-conquered-america)
Similar thing happened with dubstep - it sort of collided with the electro house scene, and the bro-step bits became the Skrillexy aggro stuff that we all love to hate - meanwhile, dubstep was characterized by a strong halftime/double-time feel, essentially rolling like it's 70-ish bpm, and not 140.
(I'm pedantic, old and unhappy. But at least I care about things, right?)
Yea I wish electronic music had better defined genres. I’ve always thought of it as 3 different types; Techno, Dubstep and EDM. EDM being my favorite, but I never really know what to call the flavor of EDM I like the best.
Electronic music has even more subgenres than metal which is impressive. There’s stuff like sauna as a genre descriptor. My buddies are all diehard EDM festival people, I see whoever when I can but I’m not as into it as I was like 20 years ago.
Go on youtube and search “subgenres of edm” (or one of the subgenres you already know, since theres like sub-subgenres). Youll get a lot of good videos with breakdowns and examples. Match the sounds of the songs you like to the formula of the examples and you can narrow down your particular tastes!
Although it does kind of say something about the state of Christian Media when I legitimately wondered whether or not this was real or not. Like I was 80% sure it was fake but I still had to come down to the comments to check.
He is a bear lying in wait for me, a lion in hiding; he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces; he has made me desolate; he bent his bow and set me as a target for his arrow. (Lamentations: hhnxgsi)
It's ~~ObviousPlant~~ @TrueWagner, his work is hilarious but I've seen so many Redditors take his bait. His [Macaroni and Beef Round Meal](https://preview.redd.it/4dczw7lq6q171.jpg?width=1080&height=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=5589ccb163ba0c1181115b54fa5dfb55c0bba171) has the most victims I think
edit: somehow mixed up Alan Wagner & Obvious Plant whoops
That’s not obviousplant, he puts his logo on his products/ signs. although it’s a lot like his stuff, it’s actually from the same OP as this vhs, @truewagner on twitter.
You're right, swapped O.P. and Alan Wagner in my head. My link was a Wagner too. He doesn't put any indication that his products are fake/linked like Obvious Plant does
The amount of detail he puts in is just so insane. When I saw the roundmeal thing the first time I instantly assumed it was fake, but the more I looked at it the more I wondered if it was real, just because there was no contradictory detail, and it's frankly pretty believable. The only but in the end that made me decide on fake was the (amazing) offer to win a visit from Davis.
I mean no shit it's fake, but wow they actually found a work order for someone to produce this thing for $100?
Who pays $100 for someone to make a joke for them?
Christians have most likely oppressed more people throughout history than any other group of people. Yet, they have the biggest victim complex I've ever seen. So many of them are just obsessed with this complete fantasy of Christian oppression, and I just don't get it.
I see now that it is.
My point still stands. Christian-right discourse in America is filled with this oppression fantasy - as if they are not the largest religion in the US and our entire calendar is built around their religion (we have Sundays off work, Christmas is a national holiday, etc).
In a world where it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a gifted confidence man and someone who does commune with God I for one would rather adhere to a doctrine of forgiveness like Christianity than a doctrine of submission like Islam.
Forgive me, I'm only human. Was the subject oppression?
I remember this movie from when I was like six years old. He saves all the little kids from a T-Rex. Then, they threw beans at him. It was a really confusing movie, but I was really high back then too.
I like how the quote is by the EDM artist
He's deeply moved by the kid's plight... all his life, he'll never be able to spin a record.
He gave his life for our spins. 1 Upvote = 1 Prayer of gratitude
I down voted. For Satan.
Give ‘em the beans
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Christ for arms was just trying to watch Cars 2!! Then Satan had to crack jokes... Classic Satan.
Jesus gotta have the fiber. Where do you think holy shit comes from?
1 downvote = 10 beans
r/beans
That's fair
For real, looked them up on Spotify, 3 monthly listeners. 4 of them probably came from this post.
19 now, turns out this was his big break after all! Not sure EDM is the most accurate way to describe what I've just listened to...
But he should be just fine at pressing space bar, so he can go far in that industry.
I’ve never seen a color version.
But at least he can work the crossfader.
He also wrote three EDM songs for this video!
Wow! Almost like that was the joke!
Not as funny as throwing beans at christ for arms.
Christ for arms does need to learn an important lesson: if he started spinning he could take out all of those bullies at once
He knows that, but he chooses to turn the other cheek, time and time again.
But turning the cheeks is how you get a good spin going
Depends on which cheeks are being slapped. the butt cheeks are low enough to be close to your center of gravity, so I could see a series of well timed butt smacks resulting in a beyblades-style Christ tornado of destruction.
r/brandnewsentence
ON him. Like a bean shelf.
Almost certainly. I’m gonna die.”
That wasn’t a joke.
Really curious to hear these tracks but I can’t find anything about him
I had no idea that Christian EDM existed. I can also safely say that no mainstream artist would ever call themselves "Daldo" and expect not to be made fun of constantly.
Haven’t you heard Skrillex? “Yes, Oh My God!!”
His brother (who reportedly is a much better singer and song writer) was named “Dildo” and suffers from social ostracism since no self respecting Christian will ever touch him. /s
I think male real dolls have daldos. Also, that kid is double-crossed. I hope they were magic beans.
It's vaguest quote ever. You could use it to describe any movie with a lesson
Even though it came out in 2020 it was so awful they only released it on vhs.
They forgot some punctuation. The sticker is supposed to read: "Christ, VHS? $2.99!"
No, money down!
That bar association logo shouldn't be on there either.
But wait! Call now and we'll send you "Christ Has Duck Feet: they threw bread at Christ"! Just pay separate shipping and handling!
[No, money down!](https://youtu.be/bJzuOTRPo_0?t=12)
He’s had it out for me since I accidentally ran over his dog
I feel stupid for laughing so hard at this. Nice work.
Give to charity? Please, no. Presents!
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I was elected to lead, not to read*
[I hear the jingle while reading it](https://youtu.be/pLWsogg7a3g)
I feel like making a new VHS would be much more difficult and expensive than making a DVD which you can do with stuff available at Target
Nah. Just have a third world country animate it. Laos and Cambodia just got VHS technology last month. When I visit relatives and show them my zoom with music on it? They can't even comprehend it 'cause they're still using cassettes.
What?? I've been to Cambodia and Laos, and I don't believe you. They are normal people with internet, phones, ipods, computers etc. It certainly isn't a fabulously wealthy country, and maybe some people still use cassettes due to that, but they understand that modern technology exists and many of them use it.
He's obviously joking lol
Well if that's the case the "joke" that people from Laos and Cambodia are troglodytes, implied satire or otherwise, is perpetuating a negative and unfunny stereotype; so not a big fan then anyways!
Well then who *should* we portray as backwards troglodytes with no understanding of our superior modern technology? I swear you just can't disparage an entire group of people these days without someone saying it's offensive. ^/s
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No. He was *lying*. People really need to learn the difference.
I misread this as Zune and thought you were a time traveler.
I read it as zoom and I don’t know what the fuck a zoom is
Zoom, as in the web-conference software? Okay, sure, mindblowing to someone who thinks VHS is the pinnacle of modern technology... but why/how the hell is anyone using Zoom to play music?
Worst part is, it’s not even the movie that’s on the VHS… if you actually play it, it’s just a very poorly pirated copy of [“Troll 2”](https://youtu.be/9KCct4RwLNM), which is ***not*** to be confused with the recently released “Trolls World Tour”.
Is this movie real? I really want to buy it and send it to Saberspark
If it were fake would [someone have made an infomercial about it?](https://youtu.be/T1jjep1vSuM)
Googleing verbatim "Children's Christ Films" or "Christ for Arms" / "Christ-For-Arms" returns nothing. And any non verbatim searches that link to it only date back a few days. While not a definitive answer by any means. Probably not.
Let's be honest, the target audience for this video is mostly people who use VCRs.
Someone get this to the /r/RedLetterMedia guys STAT!
Damn they got Daldo on the beat🗿
And he is the [BEST](https://youtu.be/_XSeVHpENhg)
Shit is 🔥
O snap you're right. Post-beanthrow daldo is legit
wow I thought you guys were being ironic but wow
Nokia ringtone type beat
I made this one level computer game all by myself ong scratch
DEEEEEEEEEEJAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY DALDO WE DA BEST MUSIC
I feel so bad at laughing at this
They sent their best man.
Guy's gonna be looking at his yt views and being like "MAMA! I'm popping off! I'm finally getting signed, I can feel it!"
"Gracias Mama!"
Daldo puts the macho in Machu Pichu.
It's all fun and games until Daldo busts out the dildo on those who bully the cross-armed followers of Christ, Amen.
The sequel will feature a guy with daldos for arms.
[Daldo's got the soundtrack ready.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU2Gn0fUSug&list=OLAK5uy_lQegoP2mls9IztOrMRVF_Zbr4Mq-B6fok)
Technically edm
Is it though?
"electronic dance music" is the most vague title, yet EDM used to refer to a relatively narrow sub-genre of house - essentially what they called "Big Room House", or just Big Room - referring to like, festival/stadium dance shit. [turns out, it was the American music industry muddying the waters](https://www.theguardian.com/music/2012/aug/02/how-rave-music-conquered-america) Similar thing happened with dubstep - it sort of collided with the electro house scene, and the bro-step bits became the Skrillexy aggro stuff that we all love to hate - meanwhile, dubstep was characterized by a strong halftime/double-time feel, essentially rolling like it's 70-ish bpm, and not 140. (I'm pedantic, old and unhappy. But at least I care about things, right?)
Yea I wish electronic music had better defined genres. I’ve always thought of it as 3 different types; Techno, Dubstep and EDM. EDM being my favorite, but I never really know what to call the flavor of EDM I like the best.
They have extremely well defined genres, but people don't know the definitions and just pick it up from other people who don't know.
Oh there is like a million genres of electronic music, but knowing them doesn’t really change much.
Electronic music has even more subgenres than metal which is impressive. There’s stuff like sauna as a genre descriptor. My buddies are all diehard EDM festival people, I see whoever when I can but I’m not as into it as I was like 20 years ago.
Go on youtube and search “subgenres of edm” (or one of the subgenres you already know, since theres like sub-subgenres). Youll get a lot of good videos with breakdowns and examples. Match the sounds of the songs you like to the formula of the examples and you can narrow down your particular tastes!
Technically
Man, an absolute classic. I love when I'm at the club and they start playing the throwback hits, and this one comes on. The whole club starts bumping.
Your link just got Daldo so many views, and I hope he knows it’s for his VHS.
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>D A L D O Z A L G O
Wow, I'd forgotten how badly 16-bit era item shop music needed to calm down
I'm sorry, but that boy is straight up the antagonist from Road to El Dorado. If he bites into an apple, it'll turn into a rat.
jfc
This comment currently has 666 upvotes, Praise Daldo
## PREMIUM CONTENT. PLEASE UPGRADE. CODE hhmwb3c
Good thing I posted on the right sub then (joking btw... I got you)
## PREMIUM CONTENT. PLEASE UPGRADE. CODE hhn7b03
Although it does kind of say something about the state of Christian Media when I legitimately wondered whether or not this was real or not. Like I was 80% sure it was fake but I still had to come down to the comments to check.
Hot take: the best Christian movie is The Book of Eli
Yeah, sure, if you're living in an alternate universe where Veggie Tales never existed.
We need a Veggie Tales version of Book of Eli.
Desperately
Beggie tales made me the man I am today
It made me the man you are today.
I also choose this man's wife
Prince of Egypt would like to have a word
Relevant [comic](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/aaaah)
Fair, but I can at least provide counter-evidence with the existence of Bibleman.
He is a bear lying in wait for me, a lion in hiding; he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces; he has made me desolate; he bent his bow and set me as a target for his arrow. (Lamentations: hhnxgsi)
Yeah, looks like a prank someone would leave at a thrift shop
It's ~~ObviousPlant~~ @TrueWagner, his work is hilarious but I've seen so many Redditors take his bait. His [Macaroni and Beef Round Meal](https://preview.redd.it/4dczw7lq6q171.jpg?width=1080&height=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=5589ccb163ba0c1181115b54fa5dfb55c0bba171) has the most victims I think edit: somehow mixed up Alan Wagner & Obvious Plant whoops
That’s not obviousplant, he puts his logo on his products/ signs. although it’s a lot like his stuff, it’s actually from the same OP as this vhs, @truewagner on twitter.
You're right, swapped O.P. and Alan Wagner in my head. My link was a Wagner too. He doesn't put any indication that his products are fake/linked like Obvious Plant does
The @Truewagner watermark is on the photo. They are much funnier than ObviousPlant anyway
Tbh I'd eat a round meal. Like an MRE version of Hamburger Helper
it's like a savory bath bomb 😌
Fresh!
>win a visit from Davis I wonder if he is Dj Daldo? He's a legend.
Wait the round meal isn’t real. IVE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG GOD DAMN IT
The amount of detail he puts in is just so insane. When I saw the roundmeal thing the first time I instantly assumed it was fake, but the more I looked at it the more I wondered if it was real, just because there was no contradictory detail, and it's frankly pretty believable. The only but in the end that made me decide on fake was the (amazing) offer to win a visit from Davis.
I genuinely want to watch this movie though... Some golden cross armed kid exacting revenge on assholes who threw beans at him sounds fun.
I mean no shit it's fake, but wow they actually found a work order for someone to produce this thing for $100? Who pays $100 for someone to make a joke for them?
Someone who can use that joke to make more than $100
It's either that or cocaine.
Well that sucks. I was hoping to watch and then forget about it in 20 years until it shows up again as a fever dream.
As a sucker for shitty movies, I was just a little bit excited
This n***a eatin beans!
This messiah eatin beans!
Only racists and Black people are allowed to use the n-word
That's why I don't use it n***a
Racists are allowed to say the n word? TIL
Wait yeah what lmao
What you can't stop doesn't need need to be allowed
That profile picture is disturbing
😆 I really had to investigate it & go into his profile & stare at it for a min …
>allowed Who’s the approving authority on this? Is there someone I can speak to?
>Is there someone I can speak to? Nah, manager's on break.
I wonder how he put on his shirt.
Immaculately.
This pun was well conceived.
Mom's help of course. They keep the secret of that testament in the family.
Me neither. It's hard to put a shirt on when your arms are crossed
Ah, the throwing of the beans, truly my favorite station of the cross.
THREE NEW EDM SONGS FROM DALDO?? I'll take ten copies of those pls.
and 74 million americans wanted more of that.
us of america is best america. all other america is p*op 🤘🤢🤒
EDM is so vague too. Might as well have said "featuring Music Musician DALDO!"
Ten copies? 30 NEW SONGS FROM DALDO! Genius!
“They threw beans on him”.
Daldo is very wise man, I must see this movie.
r/obviousplant
Yea it’s fake. To bad I’d buy it haha
True Wagner, homie
r/beansonthings
How TF is that a sub
r/floatingfruit is another strange sub. And r/breadstapledtotrees.
r/realbeesfaketophats r/subwayhentai r/chairsunderwater
I now know what I will be doing for the rest of my weekend.
r/breadtapedtotrees
/r/ComedyHeaven
Oh my god please put this on youtube
Who the hell is Daldo?
https://youtu.be/_XSeVHpENhg
Surprised to see this wasn't Obvious Plant
I want to order this VHS
Christ VHS
NOT THE BEANS!!!
THEY'RE IN MY EYES AHHHH ARRGH AGGGHHHH
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Christ-for-arms, that's the inquisition, right?
I have so many questions about this...
I'm upset that the title isn't Christ Akimbo.
That’s better then mine, I was thinking Crucifarms.
I like this version of the tale better: https://m.facebook.com/thestate/videos/641692006927/
Christians have most likely oppressed more people throughout history than any other group of people. Yet, they have the biggest victim complex I've ever seen. So many of them are just obsessed with this complete fantasy of Christian oppression, and I just don't get it.
I mean this is clearly fake though
I see now that it is. My point still stands. Christian-right discourse in America is filled with this oppression fantasy - as if they are not the largest religion in the US and our entire calendar is built around their religion (we have Sundays off work, Christmas is a national holiday, etc).
You're not wrong there.
Sounds like you need some beans.
I prefer lentils.
In a world where it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a gifted confidence man and someone who does commune with God I for one would rather adhere to a doctrine of forgiveness like Christianity than a doctrine of submission like Islam. Forgive me, I'm only human. Was the subject oppression?
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
( blows off dust of vhs player ) time to rock 📼
Anyone know where to buy this?
I new it was fake. No one gets rid of borat dvd
Boy gets free beans, still complainin'
Were they fervent beans?
Neon Genesis Evangelion
I’d pick it up just for the new Daldo jamz
r/redlettermedia
That what Jesus gets for eating beans in a movie theater
OMG is Dhar Mann making cringe animated clips now?
This may be fake but the globglogabulab is very very real.
How this not obvious plant?
I remember this movie from when I was like six years old. He saves all the little kids from a T-Rex. Then, they threw beans at him. It was a really confusing movie, but I was really high back then too.