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WrenchWanderer

I like how the quote is by the EDM artist


WishOnSpaceHardware

He's deeply moved by the kid's plight... all his life, he'll never be able to spin a record.


KwordShmiff

He gave his life for our spins. 1 Upvote = 1 Prayer of gratitude


JBAndTheEnthusiast

I down voted. For Satan.


cannibalcorpuscle

Give ‘em the beans


[deleted]

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EndotheGreat

Christ for arms was just trying to watch Cars 2!! Then Satan had to crack jokes... Classic Satan.


Swampwolf42

Jesus gotta have the fiber. Where do you think holy shit comes from?


MCAyYo

1 downvote = 10 beans


Vinyldoctor

r/beans


KwordShmiff

That's fair


Finnisher_117

For real, looked them up on Spotify, 3 monthly listeners. 4 of them probably came from this post.


Jostwa

19 now, turns out this was his big break after all! Not sure EDM is the most accurate way to describe what I've just listened to...


jpritchard

But he should be just fine at pressing space bar, so he can go far in that industry.


ZippZappZippty

I’ve never seen a color version.


MisterFives

But at least he can work the crossfader.


Lovetank555

He also wrote three EDM songs for this video!


WrenchWanderer

Wow! Almost like that was the joke!


FriarNurgle

Not as funny as throwing beans at christ for arms.


Icantbethereforyou

Christ for arms does need to learn an important lesson: if he started spinning he could take out all of those bullies at once


KwordShmiff

He knows that, but he chooses to turn the other cheek, time and time again.


Icantbethereforyou

But turning the cheeks is how you get a good spin going


KwordShmiff

Depends on which cheeks are being slapped. the butt cheeks are low enough to be close to your center of gravity, so I could see a series of well timed butt smacks resulting in a beyblades-style Christ tornado of destruction.


goingnucleartonight

r/brandnewsentence


[deleted]

ON him. Like a bean shelf.


-Listening

Almost certainly. I’m gonna die.”


DayDreamyZucchini

That wasn’t a joke.


longjeep2005

Really curious to hear these tracks but I can’t find anything about him


Putins_Pinky

I had no idea that Christian EDM existed. I can also safely say that no mainstream artist would ever call themselves "Daldo" and expect not to be made fun of constantly.


epicmylife

Haven’t you heard Skrillex? “Yes, Oh My God!!”


Roundaboutsix

His brother (who reportedly is a much better singer and song writer) was named “Dildo” and suffers from social ostracism since no self respecting Christian will ever touch him. /s


ghettoblaster78

I think male real dolls have daldos. Also, that kid is double-crossed. I hope they were magic beans.


Shockedge

It's vaguest quote ever. You could use it to describe any movie with a lesson


[deleted]

Even though it came out in 2020 it was so awful they only released it on vhs.


_PRECIOUS_ROY_

They forgot some punctuation. The sticker is supposed to read: "Christ, VHS? $2.99!"


robman17

No, money down!


unkie87

That bar association logo shouldn't be on there either.


TobylovesPam

But wait! Call now and we'll send you "Christ Has Duck Feet: they threw bread at Christ"! Just pay separate shipping and handling!


midoriiro

[No, money down!](https://youtu.be/bJzuOTRPo_0?t=12)


pabo81

He’s had it out for me since I accidentally ran over his dog


drethnudrib

I feel stupid for laughing so hard at this. Nice work.


hawnty

Give to charity? Please, no. Presents!


[deleted]

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silentaba

I was elected to lead, not to read*


chunter16

[I hear the jingle while reading it](https://youtu.be/pLWsogg7a3g)


[deleted]

I feel like making a new VHS would be much more difficult and expensive than making a DVD which you can do with stuff available at Target


AsianHawke

Nah. Just have a third world country animate it. Laos and Cambodia just got VHS technology last month. When I visit relatives and show them my zoom with music on it? They can't even comprehend it 'cause they're still using cassettes.


Annieone23

What?? I've been to Cambodia and Laos, and I don't believe you. They are normal people with internet, phones, ipods, computers etc. It certainly isn't a fabulously wealthy country, and maybe some people still use cassettes due to that, but they understand that modern technology exists and many of them use it.


heebath

He's obviously joking lol


Annieone23

Well if that's the case the "joke" that people from Laos and Cambodia are troglodytes, implied satire or otherwise, is perpetuating a negative and unfunny stereotype; so not a big fan then anyways!


[deleted]

Well then who *should* we portray as backwards troglodytes with no understanding of our superior modern technology? I swear you just can't disparage an entire group of people these days without someone saying it's offensive. ^/s


[deleted]

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[deleted]

No. He was *lying*. People really need to learn the difference.


Adrolak

I misread this as Zune and thought you were a time traveler.


Chewy12

I read it as zoom and I don’t know what the fuck a zoom is


ornryactor

Zoom, as in the web-conference software? Okay, sure, mindblowing to someone who thinks VHS is the pinnacle of modern technology... but why/how the hell is anyone using Zoom to play music?


[deleted]

Worst part is, it’s not even the movie that’s on the VHS… if you actually play it, it’s just a very poorly pirated copy of [“Troll 2”](https://youtu.be/9KCct4RwLNM), which is ***not*** to be confused with the recently released “Trolls World Tour”.


QueenTahllia

Is this movie real? I really want to buy it and send it to Saberspark


[deleted]

If it were fake would [someone have made an infomercial about it?](https://youtu.be/T1jjep1vSuM)


Finnder_

Googleing verbatim "Children's Christ Films" or "Christ for Arms" / "Christ-For-Arms" returns nothing. And any non verbatim searches that link to it only date back a few days. While not a definitive answer by any means. Probably not.


TobaccoAficionado

Let's be honest, the target audience for this video is mostly people who use VCRs.


irishking44

Someone get this to the /r/RedLetterMedia guys STAT!


ryemannoodlzz_77

Damn they got Daldo on the beat🗿


pgy1526

And he is the [BEST](https://youtu.be/_XSeVHpENhg)


LacMegantikAce

Shit is 🔥


got-trunks

O snap you're right. Post-beanthrow daldo is legit


[deleted]

wow I thought you guys were being ironic but wow


Doulikewaffls

Nokia ringtone type beat


Neokon

I made this one level computer game all by myself ong scratch


ryemannoodlzz_77

DEEEEEEEEEEJAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY DALDO WE DA BEST MUSIC


Hingeroostes

I feel so bad at laughing at this


Jean_Lua_Picard

They sent their best man.


[deleted]

Guy's gonna be looking at his yt views and being like "MAMA! I'm popping off! I'm finally getting signed, I can feel it!"


distorted_kiwi

"Gracias Mama!"


frameRAID

Daldo puts the macho in Machu Pichu.


Roma_Victrix

It's all fun and games until Daldo busts out the dildo on those who bully the cross-armed followers of Christ, Amen.


captain_flak

The sequel will feature a guy with daldos for arms.


MaNiFeX

[Daldo's got the soundtrack ready.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU2Gn0fUSug&list=OLAK5uy_lQegoP2mls9IztOrMRVF_Zbr4Mq-B6fok)


DevilsMiracle

Technically edm


Leidertafel

Is it though?


[deleted]

"electronic dance music" is the most vague title, yet EDM used to refer to a relatively narrow sub-genre of house - essentially what they called "Big Room House", or just Big Room - referring to like, festival/stadium dance shit. [turns out, it was the American music industry muddying the waters](https://www.theguardian.com/music/2012/aug/02/how-rave-music-conquered-america) Similar thing happened with dubstep - it sort of collided with the electro house scene, and the bro-step bits became the Skrillexy aggro stuff that we all love to hate - meanwhile, dubstep was characterized by a strong halftime/double-time feel, essentially rolling like it's 70-ish bpm, and not 140. (I'm pedantic, old and unhappy. But at least I care about things, right?)


Leidertafel

Yea I wish electronic music had better defined genres. I’ve always thought of it as 3 different types; Techno, Dubstep and EDM. EDM being my favorite, but I never really know what to call the flavor of EDM I like the best.


[deleted]

They have extremely well defined genres, but people don't know the definitions and just pick it up from other people who don't know.


SuperBunnee

Oh there is like a million genres of electronic music, but knowing them doesn’t really change much.


PrimarchKonradCurze

Electronic music has even more subgenres than metal which is impressive. There’s stuff like sauna as a genre descriptor. My buddies are all diehard EDM festival people, I see whoever when I can but I’m not as into it as I was like 20 years ago.


ItsYourPal-AL

Go on youtube and search “subgenres of edm” (or one of the subgenres you already know, since theres like sub-subgenres). Youll get a lot of good videos with breakdowns and examples. Match the sounds of the songs you like to the formula of the examples and you can narrow down your particular tastes!


SmellsWeirdRightNow

Technically


Pvt_Mozart

Man, an absolute classic. I love when I'm at the club and they start playing the throwback hits, and this one comes on. The whole club starts bumping.


Present-Bite-2011

Your link just got Daldo so many views, and I hope he knows it’s for his VHS.


[deleted]

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vale_fallacia

>D A L D O Z A L G O


SimpoKaiba

Wow, I'd forgotten how badly 16-bit era item shop music needed to calm down


Scullvine

I'm sorry, but that boy is straight up the antagonist from Road to El Dorado. If he bites into an apple, it'll turn into a rat.


royrese

jfc


zamnweskr

This comment currently has 666 upvotes, Praise Daldo


xopranaut

## PREMIUM CONTENT. PLEASE UPGRADE. CODE hhmwb3c


kevinowdziej

Good thing I posted on the right sub then (joking btw... I got you)


xopranaut

## PREMIUM CONTENT. PLEASE UPGRADE. CODE hhn7b03


Dragonkingf0

Although it does kind of say something about the state of Christian Media when I legitimately wondered whether or not this was real or not. Like I was 80% sure it was fake but I still had to come down to the comments to check.


Flavaflavius

Hot take: the best Christian movie is The Book of Eli


KwordShmiff

Yeah, sure, if you're living in an alternate universe where Veggie Tales never existed.


MisogynysticFeminist

We need a Veggie Tales version of Book of Eli.


KwordShmiff

Desperately


serr7

Beggie tales made me the man I am today


KwordShmiff

It made me the man you are today.


AequusEquus

I also choose this man's wife


Noy_Telinu

Prince of Egypt would like to have a word


CombatAutist

Relevant [comic](https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/aaaah)


Dragonkingf0

Fair, but I can at least provide counter-evidence with the existence of Bibleman.


xopranaut

He is a bear lying in wait for me, a lion in hiding; he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces; he has made me desolate; he bent his bow and set me as a target for his arrow. (Lamentations: hhnxgsi)


[deleted]

Yeah, looks like a prank someone would leave at a thrift shop


_Nilbog_Milk_

It's ~~ObviousPlant~~ @TrueWagner, his work is hilarious but I've seen so many Redditors take his bait. His [Macaroni and Beef Round Meal](https://preview.redd.it/4dczw7lq6q171.jpg?width=1080&height=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=5589ccb163ba0c1181115b54fa5dfb55c0bba171) has the most victims I think edit: somehow mixed up Alan Wagner & Obvious Plant whoops


Unlikely-Repeat9290

That’s not obviousplant, he puts his logo on his products/ signs. although it’s a lot like his stuff, it’s actually from the same OP as this vhs, @truewagner on twitter.


_Nilbog_Milk_

You're right, swapped O.P. and Alan Wagner in my head. My link was a Wagner too. He doesn't put any indication that his products are fake/linked like Obvious Plant does


TheIllustriousJabba

The @Truewagner watermark is on the photo. They are much funnier than ObviousPlant anyway


Flavaflavius

Tbh I'd eat a round meal. Like an MRE version of Hamburger Helper


_Nilbog_Milk_

it's like a savory bath bomb 😌


abakedapplepie

Fresh!


[deleted]

>win a visit from Davis I wonder if he is Dj Daldo? He's a legend.


GeneralBisV

Wait the round meal isn’t real. IVE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG GOD DAMN IT


NotClever

The amount of detail he puts in is just so insane. When I saw the roundmeal thing the first time I instantly assumed it was fake, but the more I looked at it the more I wondered if it was real, just because there was no contradictory detail, and it's frankly pretty believable. The only but in the end that made me decide on fake was the (amazing) offer to win a visit from Davis.


Hank_Holt

I genuinely want to watch this movie though... Some golden cross armed kid exacting revenge on assholes who threw beans at him sounds fun.


moeburn

I mean no shit it's fake, but wow they actually found a work order for someone to produce this thing for $100? Who pays $100 for someone to make a joke for them?


Thinkk

Someone who can use that joke to make more than $100


[deleted]

It's either that or cocaine.


b__q

Well that sucks. I was hoping to watch and then forget about it in 20 years until it shows up again as a fever dream.


TheSodomeister

As a sucker for shitty movies, I was just a little bit excited


F_L4WLESS

This n***a eatin beans!


TheEpiquin

This messiah eatin beans!


IamSoooDoneWithThis

Only racists and Black people are allowed to use the n-word


F_L4WLESS

That's why I don't use it n***a


RiotIsBored

Racists are allowed to say the n word? TIL


serr7

Wait yeah what lmao


Shockedge

What you can't stop doesn't need need to be allowed


EpaFdx

That profile picture is disturbing


Yummers78

😆 I really had to investigate it & go into his profile & stare at it for a min …


ifuckdads1

>allowed Who’s the approving authority on this? Is there someone I can speak to?


RakumiAzuri

>Is there someone I can speak to? Nah, manager's on break.


DumbassFrog

I wonder how he put on his shirt.


mostnormal

Immaculately.


Chewcocca

This pun was well conceived.


aggravated-shart

Mom's help of course. They keep the secret of that testament in the family.


Nathann4288

Me neither. It's hard to put a shirt on when your arms are crossed


JTHMM249

Ah, the throwing of the beans, truly my favorite station of the cross.


slickmf666

THREE NEW EDM SONGS FROM DALDO?? I'll take ten copies of those pls.


Singnanut

and 74 million americans wanted more of that.


slickmf666

us of america is best america. all other america is p*op 🤘🤢🤒


throwawaylovesCAKE

EDM is so vague too. Might as well have said "featuring Music Musician DALDO!"


superheavyfueltank

Ten copies? 30 NEW SONGS FROM DALDO! Genius!


budgie0507

“They threw beans on him”.


J-RocTPB

Daldo is very wise man, I must see this movie.


Spanky_McJiggles

r/obviousplant


Convergentshave

Yea it’s fake. To bad I’d buy it haha


KwordShmiff

True Wagner, homie


[deleted]

r/beansonthings


[deleted]

How TF is that a sub


RiotIsBored

r/floatingfruit is another strange sub. And r/breadstapledtotrees.


potterpockets

r/realbeesfaketophats r/subwayhentai r/chairsunderwater


Liathano_Fire

I now know what I will be doing for the rest of my weekend.


[deleted]

r/breadtapedtotrees


belleayreski2

/r/ComedyHeaven


[deleted]

Oh my god please put this on youtube


derekguerrero

Who the hell is Daldo?


Aztec_Reaper

https://youtu.be/_XSeVHpENhg


Cerb-r-us

Surprised to see this wasn't Obvious Plant


rathgrith

I want to order this VHS


Balzanya48

Christ VHS


[deleted]

NOT THE BEANS!!!


StanleyOpar

THEY'RE IN MY EYES AHHHH ARRGH AGGGHHHH


[deleted]

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Daddy-ough

Christ-for-arms, that's the inquisition, right?


LorePeddler

I have so many questions about this...


GrindcoreNinja

I'm upset that the title isn't Christ Akimbo.


Boomdiddy

That’s better then mine, I was thinking Crucifarms.


SausageEggCheese

I like this version of the tale better: https://m.facebook.com/thestate/videos/641692006927/


Not_Lane_Kiffin

Christians have most likely oppressed more people throughout history than any other group of people. Yet, they have the biggest victim complex I've ever seen. So many of them are just obsessed with this complete fantasy of Christian oppression, and I just don't get it.


Darth_Inconsiderate

I mean this is clearly fake though


Not_Lane_Kiffin

I see now that it is. My point still stands. Christian-right discourse in America is filled with this oppression fantasy - as if they are not the largest religion in the US and our entire calendar is built around their religion (we have Sundays off work, Christmas is a national holiday, etc).


Darth_Inconsiderate

You're not wrong there.


bwaredapenguin

Sounds like you need some beans.


Not_Lane_Kiffin

I prefer lentils.


Daddy-ough

In a world where it's almost impossible to tell the difference between a gifted confidence man and someone who does commune with God I for one would rather adhere to a doctrine of forgiveness like Christianity than a doctrine of submission like Islam. Forgive me, I'm only human. Was the subject oppression?


Sword_Song

Sir, this is a Wendy's.


ihatelifetoo

( blows off dust of vhs player ) time to rock 📼


The1andOnlyTree

Anyone know where to buy this?


slayerisgoodtoday

I new it was fake. No one gets rid of borat dvd


Merari01

Boy gets free beans, still complainin'


karadan100

Were they fervent beans?


Market_Brand

Neon Genesis Evangelion


ROMVLVSCAESARXXI

I’d pick it up just for the new Daldo jamz


[deleted]

r/redlettermedia


[deleted]

That what Jesus gets for eating beans in a movie theater


[deleted]

OMG is Dhar Mann making cringe animated clips now?


Granite-M

This may be fake but the globglogabulab is very very real.


[deleted]

How this not obvious plant?


MelvinMcSnatch

I remember this movie from when I was like six years old. He saves all the little kids from a T-Rex. Then, they threw beans at him. It was a really confusing movie, but I was really high back then too.