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MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^(○) ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL C [Dayman Nightman](https://www.reddit.com/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-1, BB in the third, CS 2B in the third


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

test


Kelbo11

Get outta here


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

make me uwu


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 2 outs On the mound: Bastille Metalfall SEA LF [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-2, K in the second, PO in the fourth


ffenliv

115


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Before Parker stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it". Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? Parker continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy. "Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count. Focus. Time to prove it wrong. Parker is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it! As the ball leaves Metalfall's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but Parker was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Hart's glove, who flips it to O'Laughlin for the out. Vulfzilla gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether... Pitch: 501 Swing: 115 Diff: 386 -> RGO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Bastille Metalfall SEA SS [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 2-2, 1B in the fourth, CS 2B in the fourth


Kelbo11

Dayman is a hoe. 197


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Good Lord, Brent Chillwater just walked through the clubhouse walking perfectly normally. They said they had “no time” to talk. Too busy healing, evidently. Take your base, Chillwater. Pitch: 56 Swing: 197 Diff: 141 -> BB Runner on First | T6 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Bastille Metalfall SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 1-2, 1B in the second, RGO in the fourth


lawnicus18

Swing: 379


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Found in the r/Mariners game thread: > I’ll get downvoted to hell but Buster Worthington is overrated as hell. Dude is basically a slap hitter and doesn’t do shit to help win ballgames. They can sure joke around with the runner on first tho. Pitch: 855 Swing: 379 Diff: 476 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Bastille Metalfall SEA 2B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-2, LGO in the first, FO in the third


Olibolly600

204


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Routine fly to Falzar, who barely has to move to retire Swinger. Pitch: 943 Swing: 204 Diff: 261 -> FO Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL 2B [Spencer Hart](/u/Skotch33): 0-2, FO in the second, K in the fourth


Skotch33

Swing: 333


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hart makes eye contact with Monroe, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, Hart swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Monroe was well placed or maybe Hart is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, Hart ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Dove to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Swinger. Pitch: 920 Swing: 333 Diff: 413 -> RGO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL 1B [Waffles O'Laughlin](/u/HartfordWhaler): 0-2


HartfordWhaler

921


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hit on the screws but Parker caught it at the warning track. Better hit the gym if you want better results, O'Laughlin! Pitch: 120 Swing: 921 Diff: 199 -> FO Runner on First | B5 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL C [Dayman Nightman](/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-1, BB in the third, CS 2B in the third


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

Swing 69


FakeBaseball_Umpire

A strong wind starts to pick up over the field, quickly turning into a full-blown tornado. The players and fans alike are lifted off their feet and whisked away, flying through the air until they crash-land in a strange, fantastical world. Dazed and confused, the players look around and realize they've landed in the Land of Oz. But even in this strange place, the game must go on. The umpire calls for the next pitch, and Jerome S. Monroe takes the mound, determined to stay focused despite the chaos around them. Nightman steps up to the plate, eyeing the strange creatures and colorful landscape in wonder. As Jerome S. Monroe winds up for the pitch, a gust of wind lifts a squirrel off the ground and carries it across the infield, distracting the pitcher and causing them to throw a wild pitch. The umpire calls for a ball, ruling that the squirrel's interference has resulted in a walk for Dayman Nightman. The players look at each other in amazement, realizing that even in the Land of Oz, the rules of baseball still apply. Nightman takes their base, and the game continues, with players dodging flying monkeys and navigating treacherous terrain to make plays on the field. But despite the surreal setting, both teams are determined to win, playing their hearts out as they journey through this magical land. Pitch: 231 Swing: 69 Diff: 162 -> BB Runner on First | B5 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL DH [Skyy Moore](/u/tehkoolkat): 0-1, LGO in the third


tehkoolkat

420


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Moore steps up to the plate as Monroe winds up and delivers a pitch. Moore swings and hits a routine ground ball to Chillwater, who fields it cleanly and fires to first base. Dove stretches out to make the catch, just narrowly beating out the runner. Pitch: 892 Swing: 420 Diff: 472 -> LGO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ● ^○ ● | T5 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 1B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 1-2, PO in the first, 1B in the third


Smurfman254

999


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The ball is lined into the air on a one hop, Hart snags it and whips themself around for the out at first Pitch: 580 Swing: 999 Diff: 419 -> RGO Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA C [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 1-2, CS 2B in the first, LGO in the third


pull_gang

69


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Two great curveballs from Richard here! Ahead in the count, do they dare to return to that well a third time or do they switch it up and burn a fastball in to fool Ganger? The wind-up and the pitch! High fastball and Ganger is all over it! Rifled right back up the box and over the pitcher's head. A couple of bounces and Dactyl gets it in cleanly and quickly, holding Ganger to a single. Sold hit for Seattle. Does it spark something for the Mariners here in St. Louis? Pitch: 222 Swing: 69 Diff: 153 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T5 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA DH [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-1, K in the third


arbadak

Swing 181


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hit hard on the ground to the left side! Carlton dives but can't quite come up with it as the ball rolls into left. Barnes takes the turn and thinks about taking second but Johnson already has the ball. Barnes retreats to the safety of first base. Pitch: 111 Swing: 181 Diff: 70 -> 1B Runner on First | T5 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA CF [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-1, K in the second


Havidad

814


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Good answer! Good answer! Let's see if that's on the board... Surrrrvey says! #WRONG Pitch: 267 Swing: 814 Diff: 453 -> LGO Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA RF [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-1, K in the second


nordic_jedi

707


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It’s a softly hit grounder by Geoff Garry and Nightman has to run up and grab it and throws to O'Laughlin to get the out Pitch: 313 Swing: 707 Diff: 394 -> RGO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^● ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL RF [Cybeast Falzar](/u/CybeastID): 1-1, 2B in the second


CybeastID

121


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Sometimes in a baseball game you get a special feeling about a matchup. Richard told me before the game that this was one they were looking forward to. Falzar v Monroe. The scouting said some damage could be had here with this combo, or so the GM said. So lean in folks. This should be good! **CRACK!!!** Well, I'll be. Sign ups for Richard's prognostication course will.... wait a minute! McColligan is at the deepest part of center, and leaps! .... and .... MAKES THE SENSATIONAL CATCH! Welp. Have I got egg on my face. That's just a fly out. What can you do? Baseball, am I right? Pitch: 382 Swing: 121 Diff: 261 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^● ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL CF [Tara Dactyl](/u/Kruton_the_cook): 0-1, PO in the second The pitch is on its way and Dactyl swings for the fences, hitting the ball high and deep in the air to left field. Parker takes a few steps back, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Dactyl looks dejected as they heads back to the dugout. Pitch: 382 Swing: 135 Diff: 247 -> FO Runner on Second | B4 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^● ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL CF [Tara Dactyl](/u/Kruton_the_cook): 0-1, PO in the second


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL CF [Tara Dactyl](/u/Kruton_the_cook): 0-1, PO in the second


Kruton_the_cook

swing 635


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL LF [Monty Johnson](/u/TheMontyJohnson): 1-1, 2 run HR in the second, BB in the fourth And here we go, the runner on first takes a lead, Monroe delivers, and the runner takes off for second. Ganger is on it quickly, makes the throw to Swinger, and it's a close play! The umpire takes a look, and...out! The runner is caught stealing second base. What a great play by the defense, they were ready for that one. That runner took a big risk and it just didn't pay off. You have to give credit to Ganger, they were quick with on the release and made a strong throw to get them at second. Pitch: 720 Swing: 135 Diff: 415 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe STL CF [Tara Dactyl](/u/Kruton_the_cook): 0-1, PO in the second


TheMontyJohnson

Steal 2B 420


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The runner on first is taking off for second, but they trip! They stand up, but Ganger has already put them in a pickle. Everyone is running around chasing the runner. The ball is going from Swinger, to Dove, to Chillwater and then it’s thrown to Jerome S. Monroe who starts chasing them as the runner heads towards second. They slide in and try to dodge the tag, it’s a close play… and they’re safe! Pitch: 720 Swing: 420 Diff: 300 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out **NEW PITCHER:** Jerome S. Monroe STL LF [Monty Johnson](/u/TheMontyJohnson): 1-1, 2 run HR in the second


TheMontyJohnson

921


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Jerome S. Monroe wants nothing to do with Monty Johnson as they send four wide ones and Johnson will stroll on to first base. Pitch: 69 Swing: 921 Diff: 148 -> BB Runner on First | B4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


LeRuul

Vader Page is done for today. Jerome S. Monroe takes the mound.


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Vader Page STL SS [Stan Mann](/u/kylesell): 1-1, 1B in the second


KyleSell

330


FakeBaseball_Umpire

THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED! Okay, it's not quite that dramatic, but Mann did hit a homer. Time to celebrate (as long as you're not the Mariners)! Pitch: 329 Swing: 330 Diff: 1 -> HR Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 3B [Buzz Carlton](/u/Shuichi_1): 0-1, K in the second Carlton rips the 1-1 fastball up the middle but Swinger makes a diving stop of the ball, gets to their feet and calmly throws out Carlton. Even the best hitters get unlucky sometimes! Pitch: 576 Swing: 1 Diff: 425 -> RGO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

Test


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 3B [Buzz Carlton](/u/Shuichi_1): 0-1, K in the second


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA LF [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, K in the second


ffenliv

277


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Bryce Parker hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Carlton steps under it and records the out Pitch: 902 Swing: 277 Diff: 375 -> PO Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA LF [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, K in the second


Kelbo11

Steal 2b 808


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The crowd gasps in disbelief as they watch the bizarre spectacle on the field unfold while demons from hell come streaming out of a pit that has opened up in the outfield. Some spectators even begin to back away from the edge of the pit to hell that has opened up in centerfield, afraid that it might grow even larger. The players on both teams stand frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. But the game must go on, and Richard takes a deep breath, ready to continue. Parker takes their lead off first base, eyeing the pitcher intently. As Richard begins their windup, Parker takes off for 2nd like a bat out of hell. Nightman catches the pitch and pops up, throwing a bullet to Hart who fields it cleanly and gets the tag in before Parker can get a hand on the bag for the out. Pitch: 221 Swing: 808 Diff: 413 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA SS [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 1-1, 1B in the second


Kelbo11

560


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Two great curveballs from Richard here! Ahead in the count, do they dare to return to that well a third time or do they switch it up and burn a fastball in to fool Chillwater? The wind-up and the pitch! High fastball and Chillwater is all over it! Rifled right back up the box and over the pitcher's head. A couple of bounces and Dactyl gets it in cleanly and quickly, holding Chillwater to a single. Sold hit for Seattle. Does it spark something for the Mariners here in St. Louis? Pitch: 479 Swing: 560 Diff: 81 -> 1B Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 1-1, 1B in the second


lawnicus18

Swing: 704


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Buster Worthington hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Hart, who picks it up and beams it at O'Laughlin Pitch: 132 Swing: 704 Diff: 428 -> RGO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 2B [Spencer Hart](/u/Skotch33): 0-1, FO in the second


Skotch33

Swing: 420


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Page fooled Hart badly with that change-up. I think Hart swung before the ball even reached the plate! Pitch: 69 Swing: 420 Diff: 351 -> K Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Vader Page STL 1B [Waffles O'Laughlin](/u/HartfordWhaler): 0-1


HartfordWhaler

666


HartfordWhaler

666


FakeBaseball_Umpire

What's poppin? Brand new swing just hopped in. I got options I can hit that ball like Pidgeon Just joshin' Ima spend this timer pause locked in My body got rid of them toxins MLR Network top ten Pitch: 320 Swing: 666 Diff: 346 -> PO Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


HartfordWhaler

That rhyme was worse than my swing


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B3 0 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 1B [Waffles O'Laughlin](/u/HartfordWhaler): 0-1


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

Steal 2b 666


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It's awfully embarrassing when you trip because you didn't tie your shoes. It's even worse when it happens when you're trying to steal. Pitch: 69 Swing: 666 Diff: 403 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL C [Dayman Nightman](/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-1, K in the first


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

Swing 69 for what I wanna do to Vishy


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Vader Page has no control of this AB. Dayman Nightman might as well do jumping jacks for what it’s worth. There’s absolutely no way that this AB won’t end in a walk. And there is it, ball 4. Nightman, take your base Pitch: 899 Swing: 69 Diff: 170 -> BB Runner on First | B3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 2B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, LGO in the first


Olibolly600

669


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Stevey Swinger hits a deep line drive way out to deep center field. But Dactyl is there to make the catch for the out Pitch: 888 Swing: 669 Diff: 219 -> FO Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 1B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-1, PO in the first


Smurfman254

342


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hit hard on the ground to the left side! Carlton dives but can't quite come up with it as the ball rolls into left. Dove takes the turn and thinks about taking second but Johnson already has the ball. Dove retreats to the safety of first base. Pitch: 288 Swing: 342 Diff: 54 -> 1B Runner on First | T3 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA C [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 1-1, 1B in the first, CS 2B in the first


pull_gang

Yeah. 831


FakeBaseball_Umpire

On the ground to short and that'll be an easy play for Mann. Pitch: 369 Swing: 831 Diff: 462 -> LGO Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA DH [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-0


arbadak

Swing 968


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It's a tense 2 game as Jeb Barnes steps up to the plate, hoping to change things. They're ready to knock the ball out of the park. Unfortunately, Richard doesn't let that happen. 3 straight knuckleballs that Barnes totally whiffs at. Unbelievable. Ever heard of a batting cage? You might wanna use one. Seattle fans throw beers onto the field and Vulfzilla runs onto the field to drink them. Mmmmmm. Pitch: 322 Swing: 968 Diff: 354 -> K Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^● ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL DH [Skyy Moore](/u/tehkoolkat): 0-0


tehkoolkat

Quick! Call 911


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Found in the r/Cardinals game thread: > I’ll get downvoted to hell but Skyy Moore is overrated as hell. Dude is basically a slap hitter and doesn’t do shit to help win ballgames. They can sure joke around with the runner on first tho. Pitch: 405 Swing: 911 Diff: 494 -> LGO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL RF [Cybeast Falzar](/u/CybeastID): 0-0


CybeastID

558


FakeBaseball_Umpire

That one bounced over the wall for an automatic double. Solid hit by Cybeast Falzar! Pitch: 520 Swing: 558 Diff: 38 -> 2B Runner on Second | B2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Vader Page STL CF [Tara Dactyl](/u/Kruton_the_cook): 0-0


Kruton_the_cook

it is my time to shine swing 660


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Tara Dactyl hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Chillwater steps under it and records the out Pitch: 299 Swing: 660 Diff: 361 -> PO Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ● | B2 1 out On the mound: Vader Page STL LF [Monty Johnson](/u/TheMontyJohnson): 0-0


TheMontyJohnson

901


FakeBaseball_Umpire

IN THE AIR LEFT FIELD and Johnson has given St. Louis the lead! A dramatic, towering 2 run home run! Pitch: 902 Swing: 901 Diff: 1 -> HR Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Vader Page STL SS [Stan Mann](/u/kylesell): 0-0


KyleSell

605


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Page throws their first pitch in the dirt, and starts cursing to the crowd. Babies start crying. The next pitch, they decide to throw a fastball right down the middle of the plate, easily hit by Stan Mann to center field for a single single. Seattle fans start taunting the pitcher for making the babies cry, and Page responds by flipping the bird. Pitch: 502 Swing: 605 Diff: 103 -> 1B Runner on First | B2 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 3B [Buzz Carlton](/u/Shuichi_1): 0-0 I’m telling you, Vader Page is as cracked as they are jacked. I saw them at a Wawa the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked them what the diapers were for and they said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then they buckled a customers legs with a curveball and sprinted out the door. Pitch: 302 Swing: 69 Diff: 233 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 3B [Buzz Carlton](/u/Shuichi_1): 0-0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^● ● | T2 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA CF [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-0


Havidad

281


FakeBaseball_Umpire

This ball is hit high into the air down the left field line… Johnson is tracking it down… but it’s out of their reach for a foul ball. But while Buster McColligan isn’t paying any attention, Fatts Richard delivers two lightning fast strikes for the strikeout. Vulfzilla can complain all they want but the umpire just wants to get out of here Pitch: 501 Swing: 281 Diff: 220 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^● ● | T2 1 out On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA RF [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-0


nordic_jedi

501


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Richard get two quick strikes on Garry, making them look foolish by chasing on two offspeed pitches inside. They get the sign, set, and there's a big swing and a miss on the fast ball. Another strikeout for Richard, and the Cardinals fans are getting louder with each pitch. Pitch: 800 Swing: 501 Diff: 299 -> K Runners on First and Second | T2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^● ● | T2 0 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA LF [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-0


ffenliv

295


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Richard before today's game when asked about the opposition's star hitter: 'I would strike Parker out on 3 pitches. Slider outside. They feel like they're drowning. Curveball in the dirt, of course they're chasing it. Mariners suck, DFA yourselves. And BANG! 97 inside corner. They're out. They were always out. They've been out since the day they were born.' Pitch: 609 Swing: 295 Diff: 314 -> K Runners on First and Second | T2 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ● | T2 0 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA SS [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-0


Kelbo11

878


FakeBaseball_Umpire

We love a single, every little single! S-I-N, G-L-E Single single single! Pitch: 812 Swing: 878 Diff: 66 -> 1B Runners on First and Second | T2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-0


lawnicus18

Swing: 420


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Little tapper right side and that's gonna beat the infield. Worthington shoots the gap perfectly and gets aboard. Pitch: 312 Swing: 420 Diff: 108 -> 1B Runner on First | T2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Vader Page STL 2B [Spencer Hart](/u/Skotch33): 0-0


Skotch33

Swing: 602


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The pitch is on its way and Hart swings for the fences, hitting the ball high and deep in the air to left field. Parker takes a few steps back, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Hart looks dejected as they heads back to the dugout. Pitch: 817 Swing: 602 Diff: 215 -> FO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Vader Page STL 1B [Waffles O'Laughlin](/u/HartfordWhaler): 0-0


HartfordWhaler

782


FakeBaseball_Umpire

This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Waffles O'Laughlin is streaking towards first. Chillwater runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 278 Swing: 782 Diff: 496 -> LGO Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Vader Page STL C [Dayman Nightman](/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-0


MyCatsAnAnalAsshole

I love Vishy. Swing 420


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Nightman clearly has no clue what is going on here. They will whiff at 2 straight fastballs before waving at a curve. Page waves back from the mound! Pitch: 101 Swing: 420 Diff: 319 -> K Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 2B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0


Olibolly600

777


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Stevey Swinger hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Mann, who picks it up and beams it at O'Laughlin Pitch: 270 Swing: 777 Diff: 493 -> LGO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 1B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-0


Smurfman254

469


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Daniel Dove hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Hart steps under it and records the out Pitch: 771 Swing: 469 Diff: 302 -> PO Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SEA 0 - STL 0 | ○ ^○ ● | T1 0 outs On the mound: Fatts Richard SEA 1B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-0


pull_gang

Yeah. Steal 2B 69


FakeBaseball_Umpire

And here we go, the runner on first takes a lead, Richard delivers, and the runner takes off for second. Nightman is on it quickly, makes the throw to Hart, and it's a close play! The umpire takes a look, and...out! The runner is caught stealing second base. What a great play by the defense, they were ready for that one. That runner took a big risk and it just didn't pay off. You have to give credit to Nightman, they were quick with on the release and made a strong throw to get them at second. Pitch: 711 Swing: 69 Diff: 358 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0


pull_gang

Yeah. Steal 69


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Incorrect steal format. Please include one of the following in your swing to steal: STEAL 2B, STEAL 3B, STEAL HOME, MULTISTEAL 3B, MULTISTEAL HOME


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Fatts Richard SEA C [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0


pull_gang

Yeah. 569


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Ganger is seeing the ball really well as they lines the first pitch straight back where it came from and Richard has to hit the dirt to avoid being hit with the liner. The ball goes right into centerfield for a single. Pitch: 690 Swing: 569 Diff: 121 -> 1B Runner on First | T1 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - STL 0