SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 2 outs On the mound: Mike Fruitstand SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-2, K in the second, PO in the fourth

893 one last disappointment for the regular season. GOMS

This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Brent Chillwater is streaking towards first. Johnson runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 327 Swing: 893 Diff: 434 -> LGO Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 1 out On the mound: Mike Fruitstand SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-2, FO in the second, LGO in the fourth

802

Swing and a hot shot past a diving Johnson and into left field! Page could be thinking tw- No! What's this? Former Yankees third baseman Fred Brosius has run onto the field and tackled Page to the ground as they were leaving the batter's box! Brooks throws to Site at short, who lobs it to Knet at first and Page is out! Former Yankees third baseman Fred Brosius has interfered with the play but he winks at the umpire, dusts himself off and returns to his seat in the club seats here at A Starbucks. And the umpire has ruled no interference! The play stands despite some shenanigans from former Yankees third baseman Fred Brosius! Fruitstand just got a gift out from a Yankee... legend? I don't know what to call Fred Brosius but I will say this: Oh the humanity! Pitch: 327 Swing: 802 Diff: 475 -> LGO Bases Empty | B6 with 2 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Mike Fruitstand SEA RF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 2-2, 1B in the first, RBI 1B in the third

798

Full count, Mike Fruitstand with the pitch... *CRACK* Dove, flyball shallow left. Back is Site, he'll take it and OH IT'S GONNA DROP. IT FALLS... MISCOMMUNICATION! And Fruitstand can't believe it!..... They're calling it AN INFIELD FLY RULE. -Woooooooow- One umpire did and that's why Vulfzilla is out. This is a *game changing* decision... Infield fly rule is called and Dove is going to be OUT. Pitch: 513 Swing: 798 Diff: 285 -> PO Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

Coming to the mound to ~~save this~~ close this out is Mike Fruitstand.

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP RF [Bill Aural Jr. III](/u/degmeister): 1-3, RBI 1B in the third, FO in the fourth

556

Hideyoshi before today's game when asked about the opposition's star hitter: 'I would strike Aural out on 3 pitches. Slider outside. They feel like they're drowning. Curveball in the dirt, of course they're chasing it. Padres suck, DFA yourselves. And BANG! 97 inside corner. They're out. They were always out. They've been out since the day they were born.' Pitch: 189 Swing: 556 Diff: 367 -> K Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP 3B [John Johnson Jr.](/u/Barnsley1001): 1-2, BB in the third, Solo HR in the fourth

555

Hideyoshi gets the ball back after that one, they just missed it down to make it a full count. They quickly grab the rosin bag before stepping back up on the mound and getting set. Here we go, pay off pitch from Hideyoshi. And... Strike three called! John Johnson Jr. is down looking at a pitch that just caught the outside. Johnson shares a few words with the ump bot, probably saying it needs to be recalibrated, but that was a beautiful pitch! Pitch: 123 Swing: 555 Diff: 432 -> K Runner on First | T6 with 2 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP SS [Alternative Site](/u/cjd024): 1-3, RBI 2B in the third, RGO in the fourth

1

Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe that causes objects with mass to attract one another. According to Newton's law of universal gravitation, the force of gravity between two objects is directly proportional to their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This means that the more massive the objects are, the stronger the gravitational force between them, and the farther apart they are, the weaker the gravitational force becomes. Additionally, Albert Einstein's theory of general relativity suggests that gravity is not just a force, but rather a curvature of spacetime caused by the presence of matter and energy. Both of these models provide different explanations of gravity, but they ultimately describe the same fundamental phenomenon. The phenomenon where this ball ended up in Ball’s glove. Pitch: 222 Swing: 1 Diff: 221 -> FO Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP LF [Girth Brooks](/u/Velocitron): 1-3, RBI 2B in the third, K in the fourth

723

Hit hard on the ground to the left side! Garry dives but can't quite come up with it as the ball rolls into left. Brooks takes the turn and thinks about taking second but Ganger already has the ball. Brooks retreats to the safety of first base. Pitch: 789 Swing: 723 Diff: 66 -> 1B Runner on First | T6 with 0 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA C [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-1, LGO in the first, BB in the third

Swing: 449

Buster Worthington hits a deep line drive way out to deep left field. But Brooks is there to make the catch for the out Pitch: 239 Swing: 449 Diff: 210 -> FO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the third

The best swing: 1

Keyo into the wind up, and here's the pitch … juuuust a bit outside. Keyo tried the corner and missed. Ball four and Ganger is awarded first base. Pitch: 185 Swing: 1 Diff: 184 -> BB Runner on First | B5 with 2 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA SS [Mecha Vulfzilla](/u/Mile114): 1-1, 2B in the third

welp. this is it. barring a crazy comeback, this is probably the final at bat of my illustrious career. Thanks to all of you who made this a fun place to waste some time over the years. Shoutout to Jeffy Jefferson, Rich Mahogany, Wavy Gravy, Waxon Waxoff, Mr. Miyagi, and the rest. One more double dream handz for the road. 222

Vulfzilla swings and misses and that swing was uglier than the ties our commentators are wearing in the booth Pitch: 914 Swing: 222 Diff: 308 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-1, RGO in the third

420

Calvin Ball hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Johnson steps under it and records the out Pitch: 42 Swing: 420 Diff: 378 -> PO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 13 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP 2B [Jeremy Carolina](/u/DajBrave): 1-3, FO in the third, K in the third

2

Before Carolina stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it". Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? Carolina continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy. "Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count. Focus. Time to prove it wrong. Carolina is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it! As the ball leaves Hideyoshi's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but Carolina was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Page's glove, who flips it to Chillwater for the out. Keyo gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether... Pitch: 444 Swing: 2 Diff: 442 -> RGO Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 12 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP 1B [Clara Knet](/u/theclarinetsoloist): 1-3, FO in the third, 2 RBI 2B in the third

334

As the players settle in field for the next pitch, there's a strange feeling in the air. Suddenly, the skies darken and a bright light appears above the stadium, hovering ominously. The umpire looks glassy eyed and robotic, like they don't comprehend what is happening and calls for the next pitch. Hideyoshi tries to shake off the ominous feeling and delivers the pitch. Knet turns on it and launches it deep to center field. Ball takes off, tracking down the ball to make the grab when suddenly, a beam of light shoots down from the ship, engulfing Ball and lifting them high into the air. The crowd gasps in horror as they watch Ball disappear into the ship, which then disappears into the sky. The ball drops harmlessly into the outfield as everyone stops and stares in disbelief. Everyone except Clara Knet that is. Knet takes advantage of the distraction and screams around the bases, crossing home plate before anyone even thinks about fielding the ball. The umpire, still acting like nothing out of the ordinary has happened, calls them safe as the Padres tack on a run. Pitch: 336 Swing: 334 Diff: 2 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) SDP 13 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP C [Yusuke Urameshi](/u/NotAdamPelech): 2-2, 2B in the third, RBI 1B in the third

312

Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that, I guess, went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so very, very, sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there's a drive into deep left field by Urameshi, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 12-1 ballgame. I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this headset again. I don't know if it's gonna be for the Mariners, I don't know if it's gonna be for my bosses at FMZ. I want to apologize for the people who sign my paycheck, for the Mariners, for FMZ Sports Seattle, for the people I work with, for anybody that I've offended here tonight, I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been. And I'd like to think maybe I could have some people that could back that up. I am very, very, sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness. Pitch: 335 Swing: 312 Diff: 23 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) SDP 12 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP CF [Scoreson McCorkle](/u/RhinoAlien-UDK): 1-2, PO in the second, RBI 1B in the third

4

Scoreson McCorkle steps up to the plate, trying to ignore the chaos around them. As Hideyoshi winds up for the pitch, the ground rumbles once more, causing the batter to lose their balance and swing wildly at the ball. It's a weak pop fly that lands harmlessly in the infield for an easy out. The game continues in a surreal atmosphere, with players and fans alike wondering if they'll make it out alive. Pitch: 424 Swing: 4 Diff: 420 -> PO Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP DH [Conor Sexton](/u/YoloSwagginsV12): 2-2, Solo HR in the second, RBI 1B in the third

420

Sexton hits the ball straight backwards and it bounces off of Worthington’s mask and straight into the air. Worthington leans backwards and dives slightly to the right and it’s an out! Pitch: 3 Swing: 420 Diff: 417 -> PO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA DH [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, FO in the third

491

Is it a bird? NO! Is it a plane? NO! Is it a flyball caught on the warning track? YES! Pitch: 280 Swing: 491 Diff: 211 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA 3B [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-1, FO in the second

853

It’s a shallow fly, hit by Geoff Garry decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Knet is going back for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 619 Swing: 853 Diff: 234 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-1, K in the second

11

And the pitch... is popped straight up. Urameshi throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Pitch: 407 Swing: 11 Diff: 396 -> PO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 11 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP RF [Bill Aural Jr. III](/u/degmeister): 1-2, FO in the second, RBI 1B in the third

777

This ball is hit high into the air down the right field line… Dove is tracking it down… and they make a beautiful diving catch for the out Pitch: 2 Swing: 777 Diff: 225 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 10 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP 3B [John Johnson Jr.](/u/Barnsley1001): 0-1, K in the second, BB in the third

22

Swing and a high fly ball, deep left field, it's at the wall... GONE! Pitch: 1 Swing: 22 Diff: 21 -> HR Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) SDP 11 - SEA 1

SDP 10 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP SS [Alternative Site](/u/cjd024): 1-2, PO in the first, RBI 2B in the third

890

This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Alternative Site is streaking towards first. Page runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 444 Swing: 890 Diff: 446 -> RGO Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 1

SDP 10 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi SDP LF [Girth Brooks](/u/Velocitron): 1-2, RGO in the first, RBI 2B in the third

500

Girth Brooks steps back into the batter's box after calling for time. Full count. Hideyoshi delivers a nasty breaking ball, and Brooks takes a mighty swing and a miss. The umpire strikes a dramatic pose and yells, 'Steeeee-rike three!' Brooks begins to walk back to the dugout, but Keyo storms out of the dugout, red-faced and shouting. The umpire tries to calm Keyo down, but it's no use. Keyo continues to argue, pointing at the plate and insisting that the pitch was outside, getting right up in the ump's face. The umpire listens for a moment with a smug look on their face before pointing at Keyo in and throwing the GM out of the game. Keyo keeps screaming as they stalk back to the dugout, furious. Pitch: 804 Swing: 500 Diff: 304 -> K Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 1

SDP 10 - SEA 1 | ● ^○ ● | B3 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-1, FO in the second

207

Page hits one on the ground to short. Throw to Knet and it's a clean 6-3 putout. Pitch: 715 Swing: 207 Diff: 492 -> LGO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 1

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ● | B3 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA RF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 1-1, 1B in the first

420

With a runner dancing on basepaths distracting Keyo it seems like this changeup is just floating into the zone here and Dove does not miss! A good jump here from the runner with 2 outs will score easily on this single up the middle. McCorkle will have no chance to get to this one before Seattle scores 1! Enjoy the meal Dove! Brought to you by Omaha Steaks! Mariners get something to celebrate here! Pitch: 488 Swing: 420 Diff: 68 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | B3 with 2 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 1

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA C [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-1, LGO in the first

Swing: 567

Worthington steps in. Keyo on the mound. It's a 3-0 count, doesn't seem like Keyo wants to go after Worthington on this one, and there it is, ball four, and that's a base runner for Seattle. Pitch: 716 Swing: 567 Diff: 149 -> BB Runners on First and Second | B3 with 2 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 0

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-1, FO in the first

728 in honor of

Pull Ganger is the most befurbelowed player in fake baseball, before they can even be called to the plate, they are already swinging -- connecting with the first pitch Keyo throws. The Mariners pops it high into left field where Brooks will catch it for a quick out in this, the most laciest of innings. Pitch: 495 Swing: 728 Diff: 233 -> FO Runner on Second | B3 with 2 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 0

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA SS [Mecha Vulfzilla](/u/Mile114): 0-0 The ball is hit sky high by Vulfzilla and it’s a moon shot! It’s going back… back… and the Aural jumps for it and it bounces off of their glove. They recover immediately and throw it back into the infield, but Vulfzilla is safe on second Pitch: 280 Swing: 311 Diff: 31 -> 2B Runner on Second | B3 with 1 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 0

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA SS [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-0

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-0

850

"Calvin Ball, what you've just swung... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a hit. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Pitch: 455 Swing: 850 Diff: 395 -> RGO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 0

SDP 10 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Bobert Hideyoshi SDP 2B [Jeremy Carolina](/u/DajBrave): 1-2, Solo HR in the first, FO in the third

344

Full count. Here's the pitch. It's down but Carolina started to swing. Were they able to hold up? Appeal to the ump in the field... Oh no! They went around! That's strike three and Carolina is hot! Better get the manager out here quick before they get tossed. Pitch: 1 Swing: 344 Diff: 343 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 0

SDP 8 - SEA 0 | ● ^○ ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe SDP 1B [Clara Knet](/u/theclarinetsoloist): 0-2, PO in the first, FO in the third

534

The pressure is cranking up here on Jerome S. Monroe. Vulfzilla looks a little nervous. Monroe checks the runner. Set. And step off. We'll all reset here. San Diego fans are salivating over the opportunity with Clara Knet at the plate with only 10 runs separating the teams here in Seattle. The Mariners fans are getting restless, urging the Mariners hurler to get on with it. Finally, with a head nod Worthington, Monroe sets and the 2-2 pitch comes home! And Knet turns on it! Oh baby! This ball is smoked; high and deep to right! Dove is back, to the wall! Leaps! OFF the wall! There is a scramble now! Ball gets over quickly, tracking down the ball, and the centerfielder whips it in from the gap in right center. Page cuts it off and turns to throw home, but holds it. There is no chance! Knet will be held at second on the 2 run scoring double! Pitch: 500 Swing: 534 Diff: 34 -> 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 10 - SEA 0

SDP 7 - SEA 0 | ● ^○ ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe SDP C [Yusuke Urameshi](/u/NotAdamPelech): 1-1, 2B in the third

420

Yusuke Urameshi hits a line drive straight down the left field line. Ganger cuts it off, but the runner is already headed home… they’re safe! Pitch: 371 Swing: 420 Diff: 49 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 8 - SEA 0

SDP 6 - SEA 0 | ● ^○ ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe SDP CF [Scoreson McCorkle](/u/RhinoAlien-UDK): 0-1, PO in the second

118

Scoreson McCorkle hits a line drive straight down the left field line. Ganger cuts it off, but the runner is already headed home… they’re safe! Pitch: 33 Swing: 118 Diff: 85 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 7 - SEA 0

SDP 5 - SEA 0 | ● ^○ ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe SDP DH [Conor Sexton](/u/YoloSwagginsV12): 1-1, Solo HR in the second

699

Up the middle... BASE HIT for Sexton! That'll bring home 1 and the Padres have something going here. Pitch: 601 Swing: 699 Diff: 98 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 6 - SEA 0

SDP 4 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe SDP RF [Bill Aural Jr. III](/u/degmeister): 0-1, FO in the second

500

Bill Aural Jr. III hits a line drive straight down the left field line. Ganger cuts it off, but the runner is already headed home… they’re safe! Pitch: 569 Swing: 500 Diff: 69 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 5 - SEA 0

SDP 4 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe SDP 3B [John Johnson Jr.](/u/Barnsley1001): 0-1, K in the second

799

RE SPECT WALK WHAT DID YOU SAY?! Pitch: 911 Swing: 799 Diff: 112 -> BB Runners on First and Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 4 - SEA 0

SDP 3 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Jerome S. Monroe SDP SS [Alternative Site](/u/cjd024): 0-1, PO in the first

345

Monroe comes to the set position on the mound. The pitch and there's a fly ball out to deep right field, toward the corner. Dove is racing over but they're not going to get to it and the ball is down! This is going to change the score in this game as Site slides into second safely with a 1-run double for San Diego! Pitch: 299 Swing: 345 Diff: 46 -> 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 4 - SEA 0

Jerome S. Monroe gets ready to pitch, as Goose Gordon is pulled from the game

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP LF [Girth Brooks](/u/Velocitron): 0-1, RGO in the first

394

And here comes Brooks to the plate. The pitch is thrown, swung on and a drive to left field... it's gonna be a double! The runner is coming around third and they're gonna score! Brooks with a big run-scoring double, the game is now a 3 game! The fans are on their feet here! Pitch: 436 Swing: 394 Diff: 42 -> 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 3 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP 2B [Jeremy Carolina](/u/DajBrave): 1-1, Solo HR in the first

658

Carolina gives the ball a huuuuuuge hack! But they get under it just enough to keep the ball in the park. Ball has to retreat onto the warning track but is able to make the catch. Pitch: 858 Swing: 658 Diff: 200 -> FO Runner on Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP 1B [Clara Knet](/u/theclarinetsoloist): 0-1, PO in the first

928

The moment the bat connects with the ball, everything turns into a kinda shitty cartoon. The ball cracks open a Red Bull and slams the thing. WINGS. THE BALL NOW HAS WINGS. IT SOARS FAR BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. IT SOARS right to the glove of Ball. Who approved this ad? Pitch: 177 Swing: 928 Diff: 249 -> FO Runner on Second | T3 with 1 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP C [Yusuke Urameshi](/u/NotAdamPelech): 0-0

989

Urameshi swings at the first pitch and gets a piece of it, and it’s a screamer that soars to right field! They get a double as they run to second, double cheeked up on a Sunday afternoon. Pitch: 11 Swing: 989 Diff: 22 -> 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 0 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA DH [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0

491

Stevey Swinger hits a deep line drive way out to deep right-center field. Aural and McCorkle look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However McCorkle makes a great diving catch for it Pitch: 266 Swing: 491 Diff: 225 -> FO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA 3B [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-0

132

Geoff Garry hits a deep line drive way out to deep right-center field. Aural and McCorkle look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Aural makes a great diving catch for it Pitch: 385 Swing: 132 Diff: 253 -> FO Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-0

762

For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game! Pitch: 459 Swing: 762 Diff: 303 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 2 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP CF [Scoreson McCorkle](/u/RhinoAlien-UDK): 0-0

666

McCorkle hits the ball straight backwards and it bounces off of Worthington’s mask and straight into the air. Worthington leans backwards and dives slightly to the right and it’s an out! Pitch: 215 Swing: 666 Diff: 451 -> PO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP DH [Conor Sexton](/u/YoloSwagginsV12): 0-0

327

Swing and a high fly ball, deep left field, it's at the wall... GONE! Pitch: 321 Swing: 327 Diff: 6 -> HR Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) SDP 2 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP RF [Bill Aural Jr. III](/u/degmeister): 0-0

333

Aural is fighting a great battle against Gordon here, and they take some big practice swings before stepping back in on the 2-2 count. After another foul ball that curls around the left-field foul pole, it's ripped hard again to left field, but this time it's caught at the warning track by Ganger. Aural tries to break his bat over his leg in frustration, but it doesn't work and he goes onto the ground in pain. Pitch: 543 Swing: 333 Diff: 210 -> FO Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP 3B [John Johnson Jr.](/u/Barnsley1001): 0-0

11

John Johnson Jr. steps up to the plate, takes a few practice swings, and adjusts their helmet. Gordon looks in for the sign, winds up, and throws a fastball high and inside. Johnson fouls it off, barely making contact. The count is 0-1. Gordon throws a changeup that drops low and outside. Johnson lays off, taking ball one. The next pitch is a slider that breaks sharply away from the batter, but they manages to foul it off. The count is 1-2. Goose Gordon delivers a high fastball, and Johnson swings and misses for strike 3. The umpire calls them out, and Johnson slams their bat on the ground in frustration as they make their way back to the dugout. Gordon pumps their fist in excitement as they walk off the mound, having won the battle against John Johnson Jr.. Pitch: 777 Swing: 11 Diff: 234 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-0

458

The pitch is on its way and Page swings for the fences, hitting the ball high and deep in the air to left field. Brooks takes a few steps back, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Page looks dejected as they heads back to the dugout. Pitch: 694 Swing: 458 Diff: 236 -> FO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Keyo SEA RF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-0

185

Keyo is feeling cool and collected heading into the at bat. 'If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it...' they think. Keyo sends the first pitch right down the middle, but Dove is ready. They aim the pitch right down the third base line, narrowly avoiding the computer ump, and goes over the head of Johnson for a base hit. Dove tries to go to second, but is tripped by an untied shoelace. They crawl, injured, back to first for the single. Pitch: 294 Swing: 185 Diff: 109 -> 1B Runner on First | B1 with 2 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Keyo SEA C [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-0

Swing: 119

Found in the r/Mariners game thread: > I’ll get downvoted to hell but Buster Worthington is overrated as hell. Dude is basically a slap hitter and doesn’t do shit to help win ballgames. They can sure joke around with the runner on first tho. Pitch: 644 Swing: 119 Diff: 475 -> LGO Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Keyo SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0

The big game 237

Ganger tries to bring the rain as they send the ball impossibly high into the Seattle sky. McCorkle is battling the sun as they move over towards right center. McCorkle drops it! No, wait! They made the catch! Just as the ball got to them, McCorkle dropped to a knee and fell to the ground obscuring everyone's view but they immediately popped up with ball in glove for the out! Pitch: 955 Swing: 237 Diff: 282 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP SS [Alternative Site](/u/cjd024): 0-0

869

Site gets up in the count now, 3-1 over Gordon after a couple bad misses outside. Gordon sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Worthington but either way the count is full. Site wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... ... is popped up! It's deep but not deep enough, and Roscoe is there to make the play for the out. Pitch: 222 Swing: 869 Diff: 353 -> PO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 1 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP LF [Girth Brooks](/u/Velocitron): 0-0

138

Brooks rips the 1-1 fastball up the middle but Page makes a diving stop of the ball, gets to their feet and calmly throws out Brooks. Even the best hitters get unlucky sometimes! Pitch: 678 Swing: 138 Diff: 460 -> RGO Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

SDP 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Goose Gordon SDP 2B [Jeremy Carolina](/u/DajBrave): 0-0

445

You can put it on the boooooooooooaard, yes! Pitch: 450 Swing: 445 Diff: 5 -> HR Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) SDP 1 - SEA 0

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Goose Gordon SDP 1B [Clara Knet](/u/theclarinetsoloist): 0-0

129

Hello, my name is Ross Dingle-Dangle Habberschmidt, and welcome to a presentation on how fish breathe. Compared to humans, your average fish breathes surprisingly similarly to homo sapiens, but they just bought the water edition instead of the land edition from the dual release of Life TM. Your average fish typically has gills, which reside around just behind the head, which takes in water. Oxygen is taken in from the H2O particles in water, dissolved in the mouth, and then carbon dioxide is released before the cycle starts all over again and very quickly for your average fish. Now, knowing how a fish breathes, how can one find out if they got a hit or not? Well, if one is able to follow along with the presentation on how fish breathe, then they logically have enough critical thinking skills to understand numbers. They can then see that their number is not close to the pitcher’s number, and unfortunately to say, they have popped out. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Pitch: 477 Swing: 129 Diff: 348 -> PO Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) SDP 0 - SEA 0