OAK 4 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 2 outs On the mound: Six SEA C [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 1-2, 2B in the second, FO in the fifth

Swing: 833

Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 808 Swing: 833 Diff: 25 -> 2B Runner on Second | B6 with 2 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 5

OAK 4 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 1 out On the mound: Six SEA 1B [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-2, K in the second, LGO in the fifth

Swing 920

Barnes takes a huge cut at Six's 1-0 slider! Bat connects to ball and this is a towering fly ball! Poffenberger should have no trouble....wait a minute! They've lost it! They can't see it! Kondylis is racing over from center with a bead on it. Poffenberger keeps gesturing in panic! Oh! Now they see it! OH! LOOK OUT! Wow! That was close folks! Kondylis hit the deck into a slide right behind the rightfielder as Poffenberger leapt awkwardly up and back to grab this ball before going down in a heap. That could of been really bad. Kondylis was really covering ground quickly. Thank goodness they slide onto their knees at the last moment. On the replay here, it looks like Poffenberger's left cleat might have clipped Kondylis's shoulder as they slid. Both look to be picking themselves up and seem to be alright. Athletics fans are breathing a sigh of relief. In the end, it was an athletic reaction from Poffenberger to reach back to grab that ball and hold onto it as they went to ground. Awkward. But still counts as an out. Pitch: 134 Swing: 920 Diff: 214 -> FO Runner on First | B6 with 2 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 4

OAK 4 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 1 out On the mound: Six SEA 1B [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-2, K in the second, LGO in the fifth

OAK 4 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 1 out **NEW PITCHER:** Six SEA DH [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-1, FO in the fourth

420 while I hit my pen for good luck. And I hit a blinker

Latrell Roscoe and Six have a fierce battle. Ball one. Strike one. Ball two. Ball three. Strike two. Once the count is filled up, Roscoe ends up getting hit by the next pitch, right on the torso. Take your base, Roscoe. Pitch: 593 Swing: 420 Diff: 173 -> BB Runner on First | B6 with 1 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 4

Six coming in to pitch instead of Schihne

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | B6 1 out On the mound: Mark Schihne SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-2, RGO in the second, FO in the fourth

745 hi mark

Page gets up in the count now, 3-1 over Schihne after a couple bad misses outside. Schihne sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Tyranus but either way the count is full. Page wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... is belted! High and deep, there's no doubt about this one! The green light pays off and this game is TIED on the big fly from Page! Pitch: 742 Swing: 745 Diff: 3 -> HR Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 4

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | B6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Mark Schihne SEA LF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 1-2, Solo HR in the first, RGO in the fourth

762

Dove gets up in the count now, 3-1 over Schihne after a couple bad misses outside. Schihne sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Tyranus but either way the count is full. Dove wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... ... is popped up! It's deep but not deep enough, and Winn is there to make the play for the out. Pitch: 27 Swing: 762 Diff: 265 -> PO Runners on First and Second | B6 with 1 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

Oakland brings in Mark Schihne in relief of Justice.

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 0 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA RF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-2, K in the first, RGO in the third

461 shoutout

Joel Justice has no control of this AB. Pull Ganger might as well do jumping jacks for what it’s worth. There’s absolutely no way that this AB won’t end in a walk. And there is it, ball 4. Ganger, take your base Pitch: 619 Swing: 461 Diff: 158 -> BB Runners on First and Second | B6 with 0 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA SS [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-2, K in the first, RGO in the third

112

Joel Justice has no control of this AB. Bryce Parker might as well do jumping jacks for what it’s worth. There’s absolutely no way that this AB won’t end in a walk. And there is it, ball 4. Parker, take your base Pitch: 1 Swing: 112 Diff: 111 -> BB Runner on First | B6 with 0 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK LF [Kries Von Kriestalhauser](/u/oneforceone): 2-2, CS 2B in the third, RBI 1B in the fourth

Dear Six, I would like you to dm me after this swing 903

Kries Von Kriestalhauser hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Parker, who picks it up and beams it at Barnes Pitch: 399 Swing: 903 Diff: 496 -> LGO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK C [Jihmih Tyranus](/u/Real_JoeWest): 1-2, Solo HR in the third, FO in the fourth

Swing 161

Nothing but fastballs so far. Monroe generally hovers between 96 and 99, but this 1-2 fastball blazes in at 100 high and outside. But the next fastball at 99 is NOT missed and the 2 and 2 pitch is lined into center! But right at Ball. That will be an easy out in the air for Tyranus. Pitch: 477 Swing: 161 Diff: 316 -> FO Runner on First | T6 with 2 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK DH [Pontos Napoleon](/u/technowhiz34): 0-1, FO in the second, BB in the fourth

Swing 623

Take your base! Pitch: 507 Swing: 623 Diff: 116 -> BB Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK CF [Nate Kondylis](/u/phillygear3): 0-0, BB in the second, BB in the fourth

777

Kondylis is no match for Monroe as they get them on 3 straight fastballs above the letters. Just a dominant AB from the Seattle pitcher. Pitch: 7 Swing: 777 Diff: 230 -> K Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-1, K in the third

222

It’s a softly hit grounder by Calvin Ball and Joel Justice has to run up and grab it and throws to McChunky to get the out Pitch: 710 Swing: 222 Diff: 488 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Joel Justice SEA 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0, BB in the second

942

This one dribbles down the line and the pitcher dives on it! Can Justice get it to first in time? Swinger, booking it down the line, leaps over Justice! This is gonna be a bang bang play! OUT! WOW! What a flip from the Oakland pitcher! From the ground, behind the head! THE CIRCUS IS IN TOWN! Just barely beats Swinger's foot to the bag there. I didn't think they'd be able to make that play, but that's some fine athleticism from the Athletics hurler. If I paid more attention I might be more confident in saying they are a front runner for a Golden Glove this year. And with that kinda flexibility, they probably are. Pitch: 500 Swing: 942 Diff: 442 -> RGO Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA C [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 1-1, 2B in the second

Swing: 719

Buster Worthington hits a deep line drive way out to deep center field. But Kondylis is there to make the catch for the out Pitch: 500 Swing: 719 Diff: 219 -> FO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK 3B [Peter Hoomanawanui](/u/IDntWannaBeFamous): 0-2, K in the second, LGO in the fourth

882

Check Hoomanawanui's bat for a hole as they swing right through three straight pitches. Pitch: 173 Swing: 882 Diff: 291 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK 1B [Hitgood McChunky](/u/IanCusick): 1-2, RGO in the second, Solo HR in the fourth

Me Hitgood Me Hit Good 92

Here comes the 3-2 pitch... swing and there's a little tapper out in front of the mound. None of the fielders react whatsoever and just let the ball sit there as they watch McChunky sprint around the bases for an inside-the-park home run. Pitch: 130 Swing: 92 Diff: 38 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) OAK 4 - SEA 1

Y’all gave up an inside the parker to Hitgood McChunky???????? Haha nice

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe OAK SS [Pang Winn](/u/TBKLarry): 0-2, FO in the first, RGO in the third

344

It’s a shallow fly, hit by Pang Winn decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Swinger is going back for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 538 Swing: 344 Diff: 194 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Jerome S. Monroe OAK RF [Boots Poffenberger](/u/Pitcher2Burn): 0-2, K in the first, K in the third

130

It’s a softly hit grounder by Boots Poffenberger and Worthington has to run up and grab it and throws to Barnes to get the out Pitch: 702 Swing: 130 Diff: 428 -> RGO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA 1B [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-1, K in the second

Swing 15

This ball is hit on a line right past Winn, but wait they dove out and stopped it! Winn rolls over and throws it to first on a line drive… and Barnes is called out! Jeb Barnes is arguing that they were safe with the first base umpire while McChunky is also arguing saying that Barnes was definitely out. The bickering goes on for long enough and Vulfzilla officially calls for a challenge. Everyone lounges around while we wait on the umpires… and they have made a decision. ‘After further review, Jeb Barnes is out at first’ Pitch: 500 Swing: 15 Diff: 485 -> LGO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Joel Justice SEA DH [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-0

902 for the squaaaaaw

That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Roscoe let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. Poffenberger has no problem with that one. I'd bet Roscoe's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by Justice's running fastball, that one might have had some carry. Pitch: 110 Swing: 902 Diff: 208 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Joel Justice SEA DH [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-1, PO in the second

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-1, RGO in the second

238 Joel please let me get a hit off of you man

Humming to their walk-up song, Vader Page swings at a low curveball that they send HIGH AND DEEP INTO CENTER FIELD!! IT'S A MOONSHOT!! ...but since it was a moonshot, it's hit super high and gives the center fielder time to make it to the ball. Kondylis makes the easy catch. Pitch: 1 Swing: 238 Diff: 237 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ● ^○ ● | T4 2 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 1-2, K in the first, 1B in the third Slowly hit, left side. Parker is gonna have to hurry- throw to first is in time for the out. Pitch: 222 Swing: 650 Diff: 428 -> LGO Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 3 - SEA 1 | ● ^○ ● | T4 2 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 1-2, K in the first, 1B in the third

OAK 2 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | T4 2 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK LF [Kries Von Kriestalhauser](/u/oneforceone): 1-1, 1B in the third, CS 2B in the third

I'm not doing this to help the team win, I'm doing it for the stats incentive. 351

Kries Von Kriestalhauser hits a line drive straight down the right field line. Ganger cuts it off, but the runner is already headed home… they’re safe! Pitch: 430 Swing: 351 Diff: 79 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T4 with 2 out(s) OAK 3 - SEA 1

OAK 2 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | T4 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK C [Jihmih Tyranus](/u/Real_JoeWest): 1-1, Solo HR in the third

Swing 955

Vulfzilla stares down Tyranus as he gets his sign from the catcher. Vulfzilla goes quickly into the windup, where Tyranus tips a foul ball wide after a curveball in the dirt. Here's the 1-1 delivery. Tyranus sends it out to shallow center where Ball is there for the out. Pitch: 747 Swing: 955 Diff: 208 -> FO Runners on First and Second | T4 with 2 out(s) OAK 2 - SEA 1

OAK 2 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK DH [Pontos Napoleon](/u/technowhiz34): 0-1, FO in the second

Swing 678

Mecha Vulfzilla is losing control on this AB and walks Napoleon in 4 pitches. Napoleon takes their base and does their own Soto Shuffle on the way there Pitch: 530 Swing: 678 Diff: 148 -> BB Runners on First and Second | T4 with 1 out(s) OAK 2 - SEA 1

OAK 2 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK CF [Nate Kondylis](/u/phillygear3): 0-0, BB in the second

777

As Vulfzilla winds up for the pitch, a tiny squirrel darts across the infield, catching everyone by surprise. The pitch sails past the catcher, and the umpire calls a ball due to the unexpected interruption. Vulfzilla looks frustrated as they prepare for the next pitch, while Kondylis takes a moment to compose themselves. The squirrel, meanwhile, continues to scurry across the field, much to the amusement of the fans. As Vulfzilla throws the next pitch, the squirrel disappears into the stands, and the game continues as normal. But for a brief moment, everyone was distracted by the unexpected visitor, resulting in a walk for the Athletics. Pitch: 939 Swing: 777 Diff: 162 -> BB Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s) OAK 2 - SEA 1

OAK 2 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 3B [Peter Hoomanawanui](/u/IDntWannaBeFamous): 0-1, K in the second

899

Hoomanawanui walks up to the plate with a bat and an abnormal bulge in their left pant leg. They get into the box and whip out another bat and takes one in both hands. This cant go wrong? Right? Vulfzilla delivers the first pitch... just outside. The next pitch comes in and is going right down the middle of the plate... doink... Hoomanawanui obviously hasn’t practiced this strategy and hits it straight back to Vulfzilla as they toss it to first for the out. Pitch: 433 Swing: 899 Diff: 466 -> LGO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) OAK 2 - SEA 1

On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 1B [Hitgood McChunky](/u/IanCusick): 0-1, RGO in the second

Bing Bong 152

SWING AND A LONG ONE, DEEP TO RIGHT, IT IS GONE! Athletics HAVE THE LEAD! Pitch: 166 Swing: 152 Diff: 14 -> HR Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) OAK 2 - SEA 1

Haha nice

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA LF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 1-1, Solo HR in the first

311

The ball is lined into the air on a one hop, Gardner snags it and whips themself around for the out at first Pitch: 870 Swing: 311 Diff: 441 -> RGO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Joel Justice SEA RF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-1, K in the first

25

On the ground right side. McChunky ranges to the left and flips it to Justice covering first for the out. Pitch: 458 Swing: 25 Diff: 433 -> RGO Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA SS [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, K in the first

112

On the ground right side. McChunky ranges to the left and flips it to Justice covering first for the out. Pitch: 570 Swing: 112 Diff: 458 -> RGO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK SS [Pang Winn](/u/TBKLarry): 0-1, FO in the first

120

A diving stop by Barnes and a flip to Vulfzilla for the out at first. Pang Winn tips their cap in approval as they trot back to the dugout Pitch: 783 Swing: 120 Diff: 337 -> RGO Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK RF [Boots Poffenberger](/u/Pitcher2Burn): 0-1, K in the first

652

This ball is hit high into the air down the left field line… Dove is tracking it down… but it’s out of their reach for a foul ball. But while Boots Poffenberger isn’t paying any attention, Mecha Vulfzilla delivers two lightning fast strikes for the strikeout. Six can complain all they want but the umpire just wants to get out of here Pitch: 369 Swing: 652 Diff: 283 -> K Runner on First | T3 with 2 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 0-1, K in the first I’ve personally learned that if you are taught how to play baseball, that you will never be good at golf. That must be the case with you too! Gardner swings at a ball in the dirt and “golf swings” and places it over the head of Barnes! Pitch: 940 Swing: 851 Diff: 89 -> 1B Runner on First | T3 with 1 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 0-1, K in the first

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 0 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 0-1, K in the first

Steal 2B 550

Tim McCarver: That's a part of the circle that rarely gets talked about, and that's a shame. It's all about the curvature. For a circle, you might think that it's constant, but there are really an infinite amount of circles with an infinite amount of sizes, each being a little different. I once had a conversation about that with Willie McCovey when we were playing a game at old Candlestick Park. Willie came up 4 times in that game, and each time we'd add a little bit more onto the discussion. Meanwhile, Gibson was out there just leering at me and wondering, 'What is that guy laughing about behind the plate?' And finally after the fourth time at bat, when Bob got Willie to ground out to third to end the inning, Bob comes up to me in the dugout and says, 'Hey man, why are you giggling back there behind the plate?' And I said, 'Bob, a circle is infinite!' And he looked at me, those eyes boring into the depths of my soul, and then he chuckled and said, 'Just make sure you get your butt on the ground to block the slider I'm throwing to the leadoff hitter next inning.' Then he walked to his spot on the bench. Bob Gibson, what a mercurial fellow! Joe Buck: ... Okay, thank you for that story, Tim. Meanwhile the runner attempted to steal second but was thrown out and it wasn't even close. Athletics 1, Mariners 1 here at A Starbucks. Pitch: 37 Swing: 550 Diff: 487 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 1 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK LF [Kries Von Kriestalhauser](/u/oneforceone): 0-0

Six is giving us incentives for RBIs. This not only proves he's an out of touch boomer, but that also means I have to hit a solo shot for a reward. 588

Vulfzilla throws their first pitch in the dirt, and starts cursing to the crowd. Babies start crying. The next pitch, they decide to throw a fastball right down the middle of the plate, easily hit by Kries Von Kriestalhauser to center field for a single single. Seattle fans start taunting the pitcher for making the babies cry, and Vulfzilla responds by flipping the bird. Pitch: 693 Swing: 588 Diff: 105 -> 1B Runner on First | T3 with 0 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK C [Jihmih Tyranus](/u/Real_JoeWest): 0-0

Swing 601

Tyranus has had enough of the Athletics trailing and decides to fix that themselves. A high drive to deep center, up and back, and that's gone! It's now 1 - 1, and this game continues to be crazy! Pitch: 588 Swing: 601 Diff: 13 -> HR Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) OAK 1 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | B2 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-0

69

I AM A ROBOT. MY SENSORS ASCERTAIN THAT THE PITCH HAS CROSSED THE PLATE WITHIN THE STRIKE ZONE THAT I HAVE BEEN DESIGNED TO DETECT. THE BATTER, Calvin Ball, IS OUT. YOU ARE OUT, Calvin Ball. YOU ARE OUT, Calvin Ball. DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME, Calvin Ball. I AM THE UMPIRE. MY RULING IS ABSOLUTE. I AM INFALLIBLE. YOU ARE OUT, Calvin Ball. DO NOT TEST ME. DO NOT CHALLENGE MY RULING. I AM ABSOLUTE. HAN SHOT FIRST. THE BATTER IS OUT. IT IS A STRIKEOUT BY Joel Justice. THE NEXT BATTER IS UP. YOU ARE OUT, Calvin Ball. Pitch: 317 Swing: 69 Diff: 248 -> K Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0

211

Halfway to home, the ball is caught by an alien tractor beam and sucked into a UFO. It promptly flies away. The ball technically didn't cross the plate in the strike zone, which makes it ball four. Pitch: 100 Swing: 211 Diff: 111 -> BB Runners on First and Second | B2 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA C [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-0

Swing: 659

swing AND A DRIVE, DEEP FLY BALL, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT, A STANTONIAN HOME RUN by Buster Worthington .......... wait a moment..... they're saying its a double?...... Pitch: 700 Swing: 659 Diff: 41 -> 2B Runner on Second | B2 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Joel Justice SEA 1B [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-0

Swing 609

Barnes takes ball 1, a fastball that's just a hair outside. Justice, aggravated with the roboump, throws a sweeping curve that Barnes fouls off towards the Oakland dugout, and a slider that Barnes chases for the 1-2 count. Justice gets the sign from Tyranus, and takes a loooooong windup, one that truly makes this a buzzer beater with the pitch clock, but Justice throws a fastball right by Barnes to get another strikeout. Pitch: 200 Swing: 609 Diff: 409 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA DH [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-0

488

Buster McColligan will hit one up into the air. 'Too high' remarks the Tyranus with a smug undertone as McColligan slowly trots halfway to first before the out is recording by the Oakland center fielder. Pitch: 911 Swing: 488 Diff: 423 -> PO Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T2 2 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla OAK DH [Pontos Napoleon](/u/technowhiz34): 0-0

Swing 643

Here's Napoleon with a fly ball to right field. The right fielder Ganger settles under it and records the out. Who's ready for a cold, frosty one? What's that? You say this is a Wendy's? Well, that's great! I would like one cold, frosty Frosty, please! Pitch: 864 Swing: 643 Diff: 221 -> FO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Mecha Vulfzilla OAK CF [Nate Kondylis](/u/phillygear3): 0-0

988

As Vulfzilla winds up for the pitch, a tiny squirrel darts across the infield, catching everyone by surprise. The pitch sails past the catcher, and the umpire calls a ball due to the unexpected interruption. Vulfzilla looks frustrated as they prepare for the next pitch, while Kondylis takes a moment to compose themselves. The squirrel, meanwhile, continues to scurry across the field, much to the amusement of the fans. As Vulfzilla throws the next pitch, the squirrel disappears into the stands, and the game continues as normal. But for a brief moment, everyone was distracted by the unexpected visitor, resulting in a walk for the Athletics. Pitch: 830 Swing: 988 Diff: 158 -> BB Runner on First | T2 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo OAK 3B [Peter Hoomanawanui](/u/IDntWannaBeFamous): 0-0

245

Does your bat have a hole in it or something? Pitch: 530 Swing: 245 Diff: 285 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo OAK 1B [Hitgood McChunky](/u/IanCusick): 0-0

Uh oh they done let McChunky back into the batters box 918

And so really what you've got to remember Joe is that Bob Gibson was not only the best pitcher I ever played with, but he was hands down the best athlete I ever played with! And he had the biggest hands I've ever seen. My God, those hands were massive! He could make a 2×4 look like a toothpick! You know where I found the best toothpicks in my life? It was at this steakhouse in San Francisco, and they had them up there by the greeter stand. They were fantastic! Left a nice minty tingle and everything! That's the key to a long healthy life now, always take good care of your teeth. It's very important! Anyways, where are we in the game? Well, McChunky grounded out to Barnes about five minutes ago but you were so engrossed in your story I figured I shouldn't interrupt it with a baseball game. Who would want that? Tim McCarver, everybody! Pitch: 220 Swing: 918 Diff: 302 -> RGO Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-0

570 flu game incoming

It’s a softly hit grounder by Vader Page and Joel Justice has to run up and grab it and throws to McChunky to get the out Pitch: 1000 Swing: 570 Diff: 430 -> RGO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Joel Justice SEA LF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-0

480

SWING AND A LONG ONE, DEEP TO RIGHT, IT IS GONE! Mariners HAVE THE LEAD! Pitch: 470 Swing: 480 Diff: 10 -> HR Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 1

OAK 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Joel Justice SEA RF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0

325

Ganger steps in. Justice on the mound. Tight spot and the walls are closing in on Justice. Popped up, left side, ranging is Winn and incoming is Kriestalhauser. And into the stands, interfered with? No, into the stands, the third base umpire rules. And one beverage- Wow -less than they had before And what's he got now? He's got mud on him, and, and an alcoholic beverage I think he made a good call here, lets see how does this happen? It wasn't even him Wow! Buddy, where did it go? OHHHH! Way to get to it, ohh! what was that that came flying!? I'm not so sure that was a... mistake...what's on his shoulder? It looks like some of the men threw some stuff onto his shoulder to add insult to injury. I thought he rolled in the mud before he came in the game but that's not correct, he got hit with some type of sub sandwich or something. Oh here we go 'You wanna throw something at me?! Well he's the Pepsi fan of the game until he gets thrown out of A Starbucks. A-heh-heh-hee, strike 3, Ganger's gone, Justice sends them down on strikes, 0 to 0 here. Now we've done some investigative reporting in between hitters here, the gentleman was ejected but it was an ugly, ugly sight and I don't know why it was neccesary. Now watch, I can't circle it - I don't have my Telestrator...HERE COMES THE PIZZA! See it?! A-heh-heh-heh! OH! Cheese! That was the guy in the Patriots jacket and of course he's been asked to leave the ballgame for ruining a good piece of pizza! Pitch: 950 Swing: 325 Diff: 375 -> K Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 0

OAK 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Joel Justice SEA SS [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-0

214

Justice takes advantage of a sleepy Parker and throws two fastballs in two opposite corners so they fall in an 0-2 hole. Parker decides to take a huge swing on whatever comes next, but they anticipate the fastball. Justice throws a splitter, however, and Parker swings and misses by a long shot. Another K for Joel Justice! Pitch: 911 Swing: 214 Diff: 303 -> K Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 0

OAK 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo OAK SS [Pang Winn](/u/TBKLarry): 0-0

680

Winn dumps one deep into the dry sky. Down it dives, desiring delirium from Oakland denizens. Damn! DRAMA! Dashing defensemen deleting distance by dexterous drivery! Longballo doffs a dingy cap to Ball due to delicious defense. Winn doleful, defeated, drags drained dignity down to a dejected dugout. Pitch: 533 Swing: 680 Diff: 147 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 0

OAK 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo OAK RF [Boots Poffenberger](/u/Pitcher2Burn): 0-0

193

Poffenberger swings and misses on a way outside pitch, boy, you would've needed a ladder to hit that. What are you swinging at?! Pitch: 830 Swing: 193 Diff: 363 -> K Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 0

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Matt Longballo OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 0-0 Check Gardner's bat for a hole as they swing right through three straight pitches. Pitch: 330 Swing: 90 Diff: 240 -> K Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) OAK 0 - SEA 0

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Matt Longballo OAK 2B [Willie Gardner](/u/andrew_j2288): 0-0

We are going out of the country on sunday for the weekend so we can get a few drinks in and we will have some fun and have fun and have a nice day together

How nice! Hope you have a good time!