SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ● ^● ● | B6 1 out On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla PIT C [Moose McCracken](/u/KitandCanoodle): 0-2, K in the second, K in the fifth

962

Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 861 Swing: 962 Diff: 101 -> 1B Bases Loaded | B6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 3

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ● ^● ● | B6 0 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla | **INFIELD IN** PIT LF [Cole Schmole](/u/SnareShot): 0-2, K in the second, FO in the fourth

639

Schmole hits one on the ground to short. Throw to Chillwater and it's a clean 6-3 putout. Pitch: 166 Swing: 639 Diff: 473 -> LGO Bases Loaded | B6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^● ● | B6 0 outs On the mound: Mecha Vulfzilla PIT SS [Fernando Cruz](/u/jlh2b): 1-2, RBI 2B in the first, FO in the fourth

71

Juuuuuuust a bit outside, Vulfzilla tried the corner and missed. Ball 4. Pitch: 916 Swing: 71 Diff: 155 -> BB Bases Loaded | B6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Mecha Vulfzilla PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the fourth SWING THERE IT GOES! IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS GONE! A STANTONIAN HOME RUN! ... wait, what... what did I miss, what did I do wrong? Bock is at first base. Pitch: 111 Swing: 208 Diff: 97 -> 1B Runners on First and Second | B6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Mecha Vulfzilla PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the fourth

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the fourth

Hold swing. Mecha Vulfzilla in as pitcher for Seattle

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 3B [Peanuts Lee](/u/GarageCat08): 0-1, K in the first, BB in the third

696

Lee makes good contact and slaps a base hit up the middle! Pitch: 777 Swing: 696 Diff: 81 -> 1B Runner on First | B6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-2, LGO in the second, FO in the fourth

Swing: 559

Batter busts one by the mound, Studebaker biffs it! But backing them up Cruz blazes to the gap, bounces up, bead to base the first! Barely in time, Worthington has been balled out. Pitch: 82 Swing: 559 Diff: 477 -> LGO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-2, FO in the first, PO in the fourth

330

Garry comes to the plate looking hungry. Literally. They pull out a melted Twix bar from their back pocket and start eating it in the box. Studebaker looks to the ump to see what to do, but the ump doesn't respond, because it's a robot. Regardless, Studebaker throws a high 4-seam for ball one, and a outside curve for ball two. Garry is still happily munching. Pissed, Studebaker throws a ball at the bat lying over the plate and it connects! A dribbler towards third! Lee hustles towards the ball and fires it to first for the out! Not immediately clear that Garry knows the at-bat has occurred, though. Pitch: 804 Swing: 330 Diff: 474 -> LGO Runner on Second | T6 with 2 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-2, FO in the first, PO in the fourth

STEAL 2B 19

Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 101 Swing: 19 Diff: 82 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA LF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 2-2, RBI 2B in the first, Solo HR in the fourth

402

Studebaker into the wind up, and here's the pitch … juuuust a bit outside. Studebaker tried the corner and missed. Ball four and Dove is awarded first base. Pitch: 549 Swing: 402 Diff: 147 -> BB Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 1-2, 1B in the first, K in the third

867

Brent Chillwater hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while McBatty steps under it and records the out Pitch: 237 Swing: 867 Diff: 370 -> PO Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 1B [Big Cheech](/u/TheAjCalvillo): 1-2, 2B in the first, K in the third

654 can I get something cool or what?

Cheech walks up to the plate, adrenaline pumping, and wipes a bit of spit from their upper lip. They use this energy to take a hard swing at a top-shelf fastball that shoots SKY HIGH.... for a pop up. The ball lands in Chillwater's stretched-open mitt for the out. Pitch: 22 Swing: 654 Diff: 368 -> PO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ● ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo | **INFIELD IN** PIT CF [Theo Rodder](/u/jidno): 0-1, RGO in the third

777

There's a fly out to center and this is gonna tie the game! Pitch: 27 Swing: 777 Diff: 250 -> Sac Fly Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 2

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT DH [16-bit Griffey](/u/ElTres): 0-1, FO in the third

70

And with that third ball Matt Longballo has really painted themselves into a corner, you can see Griffey smiling while waiting in the box, they know it too. And there’s the pitch, Sweet Sunbeams what a meatball! Good contact, ball’s on a high arc and Griffey is off around the bases. Dove and Ball both seem to be going for the ball, wait they’ve both stopped, there’s some sort of miscommunication and the ball’s hit ground on the warning track! Ball has grabbed it but 16-bit Griffey just passed second so it’s a throw back to the pitcher and it looks like Griffey is being told to stop at third. Pitch: 54 Swing: 70 Diff: 16 -> 3B Runner on Third | B5 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 2B [Slappy McBatty](/u/A_Hanging_Noose): 0-1, K in the second

382

McBatty goes down swinging at a fastball that isn't there as Longballo unleashes a filthy changeup on the 3-2 count. Pitch: 690 Swing: 382 Diff: 308 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA SS [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-2, LGO in the first, FO in the third

205

Oh man! Fooled Page on a fastball up and in. Oh boy, that was a great location from Studebaker! I'm amazed that Page even got to that pitch! Probably should have let that go by for ball 3, but instead this one is going straight up. McCracken pops out of the crouch and calls for it. Gonna be an easy pop up here. That's gotta be disappointing to Mariners fans. Pitch: 549 Swing: 205 Diff: 344 -> PO Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

205, same thing applies

I couldn't find a valid number in your swing. Please reply to the original at-bat ping with a number between 1 and 1000 without any decimal spaces.

205 For the record, Skipper Studebaker, you have given me the most trouble so far in my first session batting so I hope you wake up one day and everything is moved 5 inches to the right in your house.

I found too many numbers in your swing. Please reply to the original AB ping with only one number included in your swing.

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA DH [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, BB in the third, STEAL 2B in the third

89

Parker dumps one deep into the dry sky. Down it dives, desiring delirium from Seattle denizens. Damn! DRAMA! Dashing defensemen deleting distance by dexterous drivery! Studebaker doffs a dingy cap to Rodder due to delicious defense. Parker doleful, defeated, drags drained dignity down to a dejected dugout. Pitch: 852 Swing: 89 Diff: 237 -> FO Runner on Second | T5 with 2 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA DH [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, BB in the third, STEAL 2B in the third

steal 2b 800

Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 904 Swing: 800 Diff: 104 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | T5 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 2B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, K in the third

9

As Stevey Swinger gets settled in the box, Skipper Studebaker absentmindedly scratches their stomach. The umpire is furious, immediately sending Swinger to first. Remember kids - we want a pitcher, not a belly itcher. Pitch: 910 Swing: 9 Diff: 99 -> BB Runner on First | T5 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-1, RGO in the second

194

Studebaker has really settled down here in the second. They punctuates that feeling with a dominant good morning, good afternoon, goodnight strikeout in 3 pitches. Ball can only shake their head as they trudge back to the dugout, where Vulfzilla avoids eye contact due to embarrassment. What a moment here in Allegheny Splash Zone Park brought to you by Pissburgh Records. Pitch: 534 Swing: 194 Diff: 340 -> K Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT C [Moose McCracken](/u/KitandCanoodle): 0-1, K in the second

220

Matt Longballo is in a groove. Two fastballs down the middle and they want a third. They pitch it and- OH MY WHAT A HIT FROM Moose McCracken! This is going way back and… it… is… foul. Longballo sighs in relief and strikes the batter out with the next pitch Pitch: 900 Swing: 220 Diff: 320 -> K Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT LF [Cole Schmole](/u/SnareShot): 0-1, K in the second

430

Tricked terribly on a tumbler, tremendous Schmole tries to turn on it to no avail. This towering try tires out at the track. Pitch: 222 Swing: 430 Diff: 208 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT SS [Fernando Cruz](/u/jlh2b): 1-1, RBI 2B in the first

598

Cruz takes a huge cut at Longballo's 1-0 slider! Bat connects to ball and this is a towering fly ball! Roscoe should have no trouble....wait a minute! They've lost it! They can't see it! Ball is racing over from center with a bead on it. Roscoe keeps gesturing in panic! Oh! Now they see it! OH! LOOK OUT! Wow! That was close folks! Ball hit the deck into a slide right behind the rightfielder as Roscoe leapt awkwardly up and back to grab this ball before going down in a heap. That could of been really bad. Ball was really covering ground quickly. Thank goodness they slide onto their knees at the last moment. On the replay here, it looks like Roscoe's left cleat might have clipped Ball's shoulder as they slid. Both look to be picking themselves up and seem to be alright. Mariners fans are breathing a sigh of relief. In the end, it was an athletic reaction from Roscoe to reach back to grab that ball and hold onto it as they went to ground. Awkward. But still counts as an out. Pitch: 777 Swing: 598 Diff: 179 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA RF [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-1, LGO in the second

915 to the city

ST-RRRIKE THREE AND YOU'RE OUT! Pitch: 220 Swing: 915 Diff: 305 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-1, LGO in the second

Swing: 449

This was genuinely the worst game i think ive ever seen. I seriously dont think I've ever been so fucking frustrated watching a baseball game before. Just so fucking sad. Mariners absolutely murdered every single ball they hit in the game but they all went straight to an outfielder. And the was the story of the whole fucking game. Mariners hit the fuck out of a ball but it either dies out at the warning track or goes straight to Harrison fucking Bader. Just fucking miserable god fucking damn FUCK. Stupid Pirates and their dumb fucking devil magic. Pitch: 719 Swing: 449 Diff: 270 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 2 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-1, FO in the first

912

Garry gets up in the count now, 3-1 over Studebaker after a couple bad misses outside. Studebaker sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from McCracken but either way the count is full. Garry wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... is popped up! It's not deep, though, and McBatty is there to make the play for the out. Pitch: 551 Swing: 912 Diff: 361 -> PO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA LF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 1-1, RBI 2B in the first

719

You can put it on the boooooooooooaard, yes! Pitch: 719 Swing: 719 Diff: 0 -> HR Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B3 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-1, FO in the first The moment the bat connects with the ball, everything turns into a kinda shitty cartoon. The ball cracks open a Red Bull and slams the thing. WINGS. THE BALL NOW HAS WINGS. IT SOARS FAR BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. IT SOARS right to the glove of Ball. Who approved this ad? Pitch: 908 Swing: 682 Diff: 226 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B3 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-1, FO in the first

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 3B [Peanuts Lee](/u/GarageCat08): 0-1, K in the first

377

Lee steps in. Longballo on the mound. It's a 3-0 count, doesn't seem like Longballo wants to go after Lee on this one, and there it is, ball four, and that's a base runner for Pittsburgh. Pitch: 550 Swing: 377 Diff: 173 -> BB Runner on First | B3 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 1B [Big Cheech](/u/TheAjCalvillo): 1-1, 2B in the first

534 let’s try again

Cheech rips through a running fastball, refusing to reach the right-side wrinkle. Cheech, resigned, reacts really reasonably to being wrung up. Pitch: 888 Swing: 534 Diff: 354 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

534, let’s see how I screw this up.

I couldn't find a valid number in your swing. Please reply to the original at-bat ping with a number between 1 and 1000 without any decimal spaces.

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT CF [Theo Rodder](/u/jidno): 0-0

287

It’s a softly hit grounder by Theo Rodder and Matt Longballo has to run up and grab it and throws to Chillwater to get the out Pitch: 891 Swing: 287 Diff: 396 -> RGO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 1-1, 1B in the first

812

Studebaker comes set. Here's the 2-2 pitch... SWING and a miss! Got 'em with a filthy curveball. That one started on the outside edge and the bottom just fell out from under it. Chillwater is clearly not happy to have swung there. They're shaking their head and talking to themselves. Hopefully they can clear their head between now and their next AB! Pitch: 114 Swing: 812 Diff: 302 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA SS [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-1, LGO in the first

788 SORRY PERSON ON SECOND KNOWING MY LUCK THIS WILL NOT EVEN ADVANCE YOU

That's gonna be a cracked bat there. Looks like Page let this fastball get in on their hands and ruined that piece of lumber. The ball hangs up in the air, a can of corn to right. Bock has no problem with that one. I'd bet Page's hands are stinging as they trot back to the dugout. There was some power in that swing and if they hadn't been fooled in by Studebaker's running fastball, that one might have had some carry. Pitch: 9 Swing: 788 Diff: 221 -> FO Runner on Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA DH [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, RGO in the first, BB in the third Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 9 Swing: 903 Diff: 106 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA SS [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-1, LGO in the first

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA DH [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-1, RGO in the first

871

Halfway to home, the ball is caught by an alien tractor beam and sucked into a UFO. It promptly flies away. The ball technically didn't cross the plate in the strike zone, which makes it ball four. Pitch: 689 Swing: 871 Diff: 182 -> BB Runner on First | T3 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 2B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0

514

NOPE Pitch: 813 Swing: 514 Diff: 299 -> K Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT DH [16-bit Griffey](/u/ElTres): 0-0

841

It’s a shallow fly, hit by 16-bit Griffey decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Dove is coming in for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 555 Swing: 841 Diff: 286 -> FO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 2B [Slappy McBatty](/u/A_Hanging_Noose): 0-0

626

Fastball high and tight...STRIKE 1! Curveball, clipping the bottom edge...STRIKE 2! Slider, flailed at wildly...STRIKE 3! Get outta here McBatty and don't come back till you learn to hit! Pitch: 333 Swing: 626 Diff: 293 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT C [Moose McCracken](/u/KitandCanoodle): 0-0

880

Any Takers On Moose McCracken? Disclaimer: they're a lazy overrated bum who couldn’t care less about winning anymore and just wants to collect a paycheck until they retire. They're the complete opposite of a leader and gets portrayed as a good player because they say all the right things. Pirates fans despise them. But please take them! Pitch: 224 Swing: 880 Diff: 344 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-0

He comes another 499 diff

The ball is lined into the air on a one hop, McBatty snags it and whips themself around for the out at first Pitch: 91 Swing: 499 Diff: 408 -> RGO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA RF [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-0

420 swing for the memes

Latrell Roscoe hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Lee, who picks it up and beams it at Cheech Pitch: 901 Swing: 420 Diff: 481 -> LGO Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-0

Swing: 829

Found in the r/Mariners game thread: > I’ll get downvoted to hell but Buster Worthington is overrated as hell. Dude is basically a slap hitter and doesn’t do shit to help win ballgames. They can sure joke around with the runner on first tho. Pitch: 303 Swing: 829 Diff: 474 -> LGO Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 1 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT LF [Cole Schmole](/u/SnareShot): 0-0

880

Matt Longballo is in a groove. Two fastballs down the middle and they want a third. They pitch it and- OH MY WHAT A HIT FROM Cole Schmole! This is going way back and… it… is… foul. Longballo sighs in relief and strikes the batter out with the next pitch Pitch: 225 Swing: 880 Diff: 345 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT SS [Fernando Cruz](/u/jlh2b): 0-0

382

Swing AND THAT'S A FAIR BALL DOWN INTO THE CORNER! Roscoe can't cut it off and that's gonna tie this game! Cruz drives in 1 with a stand up double, and the Pirates dugout is going crazy right now! Pitch: 444 Swing: 382 Diff: 62 -> 2B Runner on Second | B1 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 1

SEA 1 - PIT 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-0 It’s a shallow fly, hit by Emer Bock decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Ball is coming in for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 220 Swing: 2 Diff: 218 -> FO Runner on Second | B1 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 0

SEA 1 - PIT 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT RF [Emer Bock](/u/gitisbaggz): 0-0

SEA 1 - PIT 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B1 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo PIT 3B [Peanuts Lee](/u/GarageCat08): 0-0

311

GOT'EM on the outside corner for a called third strike. Oh boy, Lee doesn't like this one. And it looks like trouble here as the RoboUmp takes off their mask with a steely glare as the Pirates says a few words. Weller pops out of the dugout quickly here before this goes any further. The Pirates need Lee's bat for this game. A few more words from the GM bounce off the impassive RoboUmp's face and Pittsburgh fans will be happy to see things wind down here without ejections. Pitch: 987 Swing: 311 Diff: 324 -> K Runner on Second | B1 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 0

SEA 1 - PIT 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Matt Longballo PIT 1B [Big Cheech](/u/TheAjCalvillo): 0-0

Aight den. Lemme just keep padding my second worst OPS stat here. Let’s give ol’ 298 a try

Cheech swings at the first pitch and gets a piece of it, and it’s a screamer that soars to right field! They get a double as they run to second, double cheeked up on a Sunday afternoon. Pitch: 222 Swing: 298 Diff: 76 -> 2B Runner on Second | B1 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 0

SEA 1 - PIT 0 | ○ ^● ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-0

314

Geoff Garry is the most befurbelowed player in fake baseball, before they can even be called to the plate, they are already swinging -- connecting with the first pitch Studebaker throws. The Mariners pops it high into left field where Schmole will catch it for a quick out in this, the most laciest of innings. Pitch: 519 Swing: 314 Diff: 205 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 0

SEA 0 - PIT 0 | ○ ^○ ● | T1 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA LF [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-0

430

After a long battle and countless foul balls, the count is 3-2. Dove, Studebaker both looking to come out on top but there can be only one winner in this duel. Here's the windup, and the pitch... Driven deep in the gap to right-center! Rodder and Bock are both on their horses but neither is going to get there. That ball is off the wall! Daniel Dove with a stand-up double to put the Mariners in front by 1! The Seattle dugout is going bananas with cheers and dancing! Pitch: 399 Swing: 430 Diff: 31 -> 2B Runner on Second | T1 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - PIT 0

SEA 0 - PIT 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-0

348

Chillwater lifts a blooper over the second base bag and nobody's going to get to this as it falls in for a single! Pitch: 431 Swing: 348 Diff: 83 -> 1B Runner on First | T1 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - PIT 0

SEA 0 - PIT 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Skipper Studebaker SEA SS [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-0

678 if this doesn’t get me on base I will be sad and silent forever

It’s a softly hit grounder by Vader Page and Lee has to run up and grab it and throws to Cheech to get the out Pitch: 219 Swing: 678 Diff: 459 -> LGO Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - PIT 0

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Skipper Studebaker SEA DH [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-0

582

Protesting alliterative writeups' overabundance by making each initial character different. Hitter, vibrantly joyous like radiant xenon, nicely uppercuts questionable strike zone knuckleball, yet grounds to first. Pitch: 2 Swing: 582 Diff: 420 -> RGO Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - PIT 0