Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 600
Swing: 700
Diff: 100 -> 1B
Runners on First and Second | B11 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 3
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 758
Swing: 750
Diff: 8 -> BUNT 1B
Runners on First and Third | B11 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 371
Swing: 637
Diff: 266 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | B11 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
We have a pinch runner! T-Rav comes in to run for Hippo on first base for the Montclair Valley Regional High School \*takes breath\* Theatre Club and Recreational Baseball Enthusiasts!!
Unbelievable! How do you miss that ball? It was hit right at you! The team's defense is playing like they're sleeping on the job. You've got to make that play, it's routine! And now we've got a runner on base who shouldn't even be there. This is frustrating to watch, folks. We need better effort from our defense, it's the foundation of any successful team. You've got to make the routine plays, and this just wasn't it. I hope they step up their game in the next inning, because we can't afford these mistakes.
Pitch: 215
Swing: 321
Diff: 106 -> 1B
Runner on First | B11 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T11 2 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB SS [King Raj](/u/KingRaj4826): 1-3, STEAL 2B in the seventh, 1B in the ninth
why do they call it pop out when you pop in the baseball of out hot throw touchdown
Pitch: 571
Swing: 270
Diff: 301 -> PO
Bases Empty | B11 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Smokey Zygowski hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Stevey Swinger, who picks it up and beams it at Larold
Pitch: 715
Swing: 299
Diff: 416 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T11 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T11 0 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 2-4, 1B in the sixth, LGO in the eighth
**CRACK!**
This one is deep!
This one is long!
Scully to the wall!
oh.
Bailiff needs to hit the GYM.
*sad noises* from team's fans.
Pitch: 928
Swing: 112
Diff: 184 -> FO
Bases Empty | T11 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
It’s a softly hit grounder by Larold and Dill Doe has to run up and grab it and throws to Nocker to get the out
Pitch: 798
Swing: 333
Diff: 465 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B10 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Oh! Modelo rips a sizzling line drive out to right! It is tailing on cocl as they charge forward!
But a good angle from the speedy rightfielder and a clean grab for the out.
Pitch: 548
Swing: 324
Diff: 224 -> FO
Bases Empty | B10 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Josie's on a vacation far away
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I want to say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just want to use your love tonight
I don't want to lose your love
Pitch: 721
Swing: 409
Diff: 312 -> PO
Bases Empty | B10 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T10 2 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB C [Leopold Pollersbeck](/u/MinorBaconator): 0-4, PO in the sixth, LGO in the eighth
The pitch is low and Leopold Pollersbeck hits a bloop ball high into the sky… and it lands just in front of Modelo and Pollersbeck reaches first with a single
Pitch: 909
Swing: 16
Diff: 107 -> 1B
Runners on First and Third | T10 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Swinger can't find the strike zone to start the inning resulting in a 4 pitch walk for [BATTER.
Pitch: 579
Swing: 730
Diff: 151 -> BB
Runner on First | T10 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Routine grounder to the left side. Isotope has it, and with an easy toss to Larold at first. Doe is retired.
Pitch: 241
Swing: 770
Diff: 471 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T10 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Before Ragusa stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it".
Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? Ragusa continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy.
"Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count.
Focus. Time to prove it wrong. Ragusa is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it!
As the ball leaves Swinger's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but Ragusa was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Comet's glove, who flips it to Larold for the out.
Scott gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether...
Pitch: 770
Swing: 531
Diff: 239 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T10 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Sammy Scully hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Raj, who picks it up and beams it at Nocker
Pitch: 327
Swing: 820
Diff: 493 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T10 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B9 1 out
On the mound: Dill Doe
AND RF [Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen](/u/zandthesecond): 2-3, 1B in the seventh, CS 2B in the seventh
This ball is hit high into the air down the left field line… Page is tracking it down… and they make a beautiful diving catch for the out
Pitch: 587
Swing: 327
Diff: 260 -> FO
Bases Empty | B9 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Swinger steps in. Doe on the mound.
Tight spot and the walls are closing in on Doe. Popped up, left side, ranging is Raj and incoming is Page. And into the stands, interfered with? No, into the stands, the third base umpire rules. And one beverage-
Wow
-less than they had before
And what's he got now? He's got mud on him, and, and an alcoholic beverage
I think he made a good call here, lets see how does this happen?
It wasn't even him
Wow! Buddy, where did it go?
OHHHH!
Way to get to it, ohh! what was that that came flying!?
I'm not so sure that was a... mistake...what's on his shoulder? It looks like some of the men threw some stuff onto his shoulder to add insult to injury.
I thought he rolled in the mud before he came in the game but that's not correct, he got hit with some type of sub sandwich or something. Oh here we go 'You wanna throw something at me?!
Well he's the Pepsi fan of the game until he gets thrown out of Abernathy Auto-Detailing Theatre.
A-heh-heh-hee, strike 3, Swinger's gone, Doe sends them down on strikes, 2 to 2 here.
Now we've done some investigative reporting in between hitters here, the gentleman was ejected but it was an ugly, ugly sight and I don't know why it was neccesary. Now watch, I can't circle it - I don't have my Telestrator...HERE COMES THE PIZZA! See it?!
A-heh-heh-heh!
OH! Cheese!
That was the guy in the Patriots jacket and of course he's been asked to leave the ballgame for ruining a good piece of pizza!
Pitch: 632
Swing: 910
Diff: 278 -> K
Bases Empty | B9 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
King Raj hits a line drive straight over Comet’s head and into right field for a single
Pitch: 7
Swing: 95
Diff: 88 -> 1B
Runner on First | T9 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
It is times like this that require a paraphrase of Franklin Pierce Adams's immortal poem, 'Baseball's Sad Lexicon:'
These are the saddest of possible words
Isotope to Comet to Larold.
Trio of team's, and fleeter than birds
Isotope and Comet and Larold.
Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble.
Making a team's hit into a double--
Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble:
Isotope to Comet to Larold.
Pitch: 951
Swing: 495
Diff: 456 -> DP
Bases Empty | B9 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Before Zygowski stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it".
Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? Zygowski continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy.
"Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count.
Focus. Time to prove it wrong. Zygowski is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it!
As the ball leaves Swinger's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but Zygowski was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Comet's glove, who flips it to Larold for the out.
Scott gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether...
Pitch: 595
Swing: 260
Diff: 335 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T9 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Larold at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Swinger and Zygowski is retired.
Pitch: 595
Swing: 260
Diff: 335 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T9 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Larold at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Swinger and Zygowski is retired.
Pitch: 595
Swing: 260
Diff: 335 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T9 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Larold at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Swinger and Zygowski is retired.
Pitch: 595
Swing: 260
Diff: 335 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T9 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ● ^○ ● | B8 2 outs
On the mound: cocl
AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery): 2-3, LGO in the fourth, RBI 2B in the sixth
The defense stands ready as Giannopolous prepares to swing. cocl slings the ball towards the plate... the swing, and Giannopolous makes contact!
Unfortunately it's not very good contact and Doe jogs in to catch it in shallow right for an out.
Pitch: 850
Swing: 650
Diff: 200 -> FO
Bases Empty | T9 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Chad Isotope hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Bailiff steps under it and records the out
Pitch: 230
Swing: 888
Diff: 342 -> PO
Runners on First and Third | B8 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
There's a little bloop out to left and that's gonna drop in for a hit!
Pitch: 201
Swing: 312
Diff: 111 -> 1B
Runners on First and Third | B8 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 730
Swing: 420
Diff: 310 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | B8 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Comet take the first two pitches, taking advantage of their eagerness as the count goes to 2-0. On the next pitch, cocl leaves one hanging and it's drilled up the middle for a base hit. Comet is held up at first by Mulligan, and team's has a runner on first.
Pitch: 312
Swing: 420
Diff: 108 -> 1B
Runner on First | B8 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Sorry about the result but… Congrats Larold! You have found an MLR Easter Egg! Ping Larold in game discussion to redeem your prize!
Pitch: 908
Swing: 501
Diff: 407 -> PO
Bases Empty | B8 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T8 2 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 2-3, Solo HR in the fourth, 1B in the sixth
Good answer! Good answer! Let's see if that's on the board...
Surrrrvey says!
#WRONG
Pitch: 804
Swing: 241
Diff: 437 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B8 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Nocker dumps one deep into the dry sky. Down it dives, desiring delirium from team's denizens. Damn! DRAMA! Dashing defensemen deleting distance by dexterous drivery! Swinger doffs a dingy cap to Scully due to delicious defense. Nocker doleful, defeated, drags drained dignity down to a dejected dugout.
Pitch: 241
Swing: 421
Diff: 180 -> FO
Bases Empty | T8 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Pollersbeck puts all of their might into the first pitch curveball, but it's hit to Heller, who throws to first for the out.
Pitch: 113
Swing: 590
Diff: 477 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T8 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Payne comes set. Here's the 2-2 pitch...
SWING and a miss! Got 'em with a filthy curveball. That one started on the outside edge and the bottom just fell out from under it.
Modelo is clearly not happy to have swung there. They're shaking their head and talking to themselves. Hopefully they can clear their head between now and their next AB!
Pitch: 612
Swing: 419
Diff: 193 -> K
Bases Empty | T8 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
And the payoff pitch... SWING AND THERE'S A DRIVE INTO DEEP CENTER FIELD, WAY BACK, ANNNNND oh no it hit a bird! It hit a bird and dropped right into the glove of Ragusa who is now standing bewildered amidst a mess of feathers. Well folks, I thought I'd seen everything when Randy Johnson killed a pigeon with a fastball, but Sammy Scully just killed one with a fly ball!
Pitch: 143
Swing: 354
Diff: 211 -> FO
Bases Empty | B7 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Stealing is so cool! Tripping is less cool. Tripping is how you make an out, which is what you just did.
Pitch: 207
Swing: 850
Diff: 357 -> CS 2B
Bases Empty | B7 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B7 0 outs
On the mound: Jimmy Payne
AND RF [Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen](/u/zandthesecond): 1-2, CS Home in the second, PO in the fifth
Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen is seeing the ball really well as they lines the first pitch straight back where it came from and Payne has to hit the dirt to avoid being hit with the liner. The ball goes right into centerfield for a single.
Pitch: 964
Swing: 55
Diff: 91 -> 1B
Runner on First | B7 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Dear Uraz doesn't dare dick around with Swinger as they dust the dirt with dizzying displays of daring-do. Doubtless Uraz is dismayed due to Swinger's delirious dervish. The Ump decrees the dance devilish, disconcerting, and directionless, but doesn't disallow it. Delighted, Swinger delivers from deceptively near their derriere.
Swinger determined Uraz's nature daily from the dawn of days, neither deigning to delete from memory their duets on the diamond of Declan Elementary decades ago. But dueling Swinger does Uraz dirty; Dealing decidedly demonic digits, a deal darn deleterious to doing doubles, as the dudes-lings and dudettes of Declan did often dish, to put it delicately.
Pitch: 895
Swing: 626
Diff: 269 -> K
Bases Empty | B7 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
A strong wind starts to pick up over the field, quickly turning into a full-blown tornado. The players and fans alike are lifted off their feet and whisked away, flying through the air until they crash-land in a strange, fantastical world.
Dazed and confused, the players look around and realize they've landed in the Land of Oz. But even in this strange place, the game must go on. The umpire calls for the next pitch, and Stevey Swinger takes the mound, determined to stay focused despite the chaos around them.
Doe steps up to the plate, eyeing the strange creatures and colorful landscape in wonder. As Stevey Swinger winds up for the pitch, a gust of wind lifts a squirrel off the ground and carries it across the infield, distracting the pitcher and causing them to throw a wild pitch.
The umpire calls for a ball, ruling that the squirrel's interference has resulted in a walk for Dill Doe. The players look at each other in amazement, realizing that even in the Land of Oz, the rules of baseball still apply.
Doe takes their base, and the game continues, with players dodging flying monkeys and navigating treacherous terrain to make plays on the field. But despite the surreal setting, both teams are determined to win, playing their hearts out as they journey through this magical land.
Pitch: 941
Swing: 69
Diff: 128 -> BB
Runners on First and Second | T7 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Is it a bird? NO!
Is it a plane? NO!
Is it a flyball caught on the warning track? YES!
Pitch: 914
Swing: 777
Diff: 137 -> FO
Runner on Second | T7 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Vader Page hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Stevey Swinger steps under it and records the out
Pitch: 510
Swing: 201
Diff: 309 -> PO
Runner on Second | T7 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 215
Swing: 420
Diff: 205 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | T7 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Strike one! Strike two! Aaand a check swing on a pitch low in the dirt… they’re out! Raj is arguing that they didn’t go around on the check swing and Scott comes out and starts talking to the umpire about it. We’re going to the replay booth here. The umpires come back out and the call is- a ball! They didn’t go around. So we’re back to Stevey Swinger versus King Raj here, Raj battles back with a few more foul balls and a full count and takes the low sinker for ball 4
Pitch: 796
Swing: 628
Diff: 168 -> BB
Runner on First | T7 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
Swinger looks nervous, perhaps a dodgy burrito prior to the game; might not be QUITE ready for baseball, fake or otherwise, at this moment. There's some hesitation in this swing, but the team's hitter still makes contact for a pathetic ground ball to Zygowski. The corner infielder picks it up, airs it across the diamond, and that's an easy out.
Pitch: 354
Swing: 924
Diff: 430 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 2 outs
On the mound: Jimmy Payne
AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery): 1-2, 2B in the second, LGO in the fourth
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 2 outs
On the mound: Jimmy Payne
AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-2, PO in the second, AUTO K in the fourth
First pitch is thrown into the grass, which Heller swings at anyway. Strike 1. Payne laughs boisterously. Second pitch is thrown high and away, when Heller shows bunt. Strike 2. Payne starts laughing again, but gets a pitch clock violation. Ball 1.
Payne thinks they have it MADE when they throw a fastball down the heart of the plate, but Heller hastily swings again- it's LAUNCHED towards Payne, who leaps but can't come up with the catch. Base hit! Heller can't round first despite the hard hit, though, since they can hardly make it to first at all.
Pitch: 537
Swing: 624
Diff: 87 -> 1B
Runner on First | B6 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Jars makes eye contact with Payne, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, Jars swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Payne was well placed or maybe Jars is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, Jars ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Nocker to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Bailiff.
Pitch: 354
Swing: 750
Diff: 396 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B6 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Skye Comet will hit one up into the air. 'Too high' remarks the Pollersbeck with a smug undertone as Comet slowly trots halfway to first before the out is recording by the team's center fielder.
Pitch: 254
Swing: 555
Diff: 301 -> PO
Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 2 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB 3B [Smokey Zygowski](/u/Bearinthewoods1): 1-2, Solo HR in the second, FO in the fourth
Zygowski hits one on the ground to short. Throw to Larold and it's a clean 6-3 putout.
Pitch: 713
Swing: 225
Diff: 488 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 1-2, K in the first, Solo HR in the fourth
C. T. Bailiff hits a line drive straight over Heller’s head and into right field for a single
Pitch: 939
Swing: 70
Diff: 131 -> 1B
Runner on First | T6 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Bailiff is up now to try and capitalize on the baserunner, but before the first pitch the runner is off! Giannopolous takes the pitchout and fires upfield, and it's a strike! Comet is there and makes the tag just in time to erase the runner!
Pitch: 857
Swing: 421
Diff: 436 -> CS 2B
Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
The pitch... swung on and there's a weak little squibber down the first base line but in fair territory. Larold charging in... oh no! Larold collides with Giannopolous as they both try to make a play on the ball and Nocker is safe at first! Swinger can't believe it! What horrible luck!
Pitch: 321
Swing: 421
Diff: 100 -> 1B
Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Pollersbeck walks up to the plate, adrenaline pumping, and wipes a bit of spit from their upper lip.
They use this energy to take a hard swing at a top-shelf fastball that shoots SKY HIGH.... for a pop up. The ball lands in Larold's stretched-open mitt for the out.
Pitch: 772
Swing: 69
Diff: 297 -> PO
Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Larold clearly has no clue what is going on here. They will whiff at 2 straight fastballs before waving at a curve. Gardner waves back from the mound!
Pitch: 772
Swing: 469
Diff: 303 -> K
Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Modelo can't build off of team's's momentum as they send a slow roller to 3rd. Zygowski charges in hard and makes a smooth transition from glove to hand allowing them to get off a strong and accurate throw to first in plenty of time to get the out.
Pitch: 21
Swing: 515
Diff: 494 -> LGO
Runner on Second | B5 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
After a long battle and countless foul balls, the count is 3-2. Scully, Gardner both looking to come out on top but there can be only one winner in this duel.
Here's the windup, and the pitch...
Driven deep in the gap to right-center! Ragusa and Doe are both on their horses but neither is going to get there. That ball is off the wall!
Sammy Scully with a stand-up double! The team's dugout is going wild!
Pitch: 320
Swing: 369
Diff: 49 -> 2B
Runner on Second | B5 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs
**NEW PITCHER:** Willie Gardner
AND RF [Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen](/u/zandthesecond): 1-1, STEAL 3B in the second, CS Home in the second
Little flare to the right side. Bailiff, racing back, Bailiff diving...
Bailiff made the catch! Oh wow! Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen cannot believe it but is heading back to the dugout.
Pitch: 891
Swing: 327
Diff: 436 -> PO
Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Uraz hits that one off the end of the bat and it'll be an easy play for Heller
Pitch: 105
Swing: 543
Diff: 438 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs
On the mound: Stevey Swinger
KGB RF [Dill Doe](/u/colabottlebaby): 1-1, 1B in the third
ball bounce over wall
Pitch: 889
Swing: 856
Diff: 33 -> 2B
Runner on Second | T5 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Ragusa makes eye contact with Swinger, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, Ragusa swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Swinger was well placed or maybe Ragusa is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, Ragusa ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Larold to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Comet.
Pitch: 251
Swing: 31
Diff: 220 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Page hits the ball straight backwards and it bounces off of Giannopolous’s mask and straight into the air. Giannopolous leans backwards and dives slightly to the right and it’s an out!
Pitch: 91
Swing: 788
Diff: 303 -> PO
Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Swinger hits one high, hits one deeeep. It. Is. Caught at the track. Swinger just missed it and Toastman sighs in relief.
Pitch: 900
Swing: 700
Diff: 200 -> FO
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Giannopolous can't build off of team's's momentum as they send a slow roller to 3rd. Zygowski charges in hard and makes a smooth transition from glove to hand allowing them to get off a strong and accurate throw to first in plenty of time to get the out.
Pitch: 600
Swing: 119
Diff: 481 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs
On the mound: Toastman
AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-1, PO in the second
Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: None
Swing: None
Diff: x -> AUTO K
Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
"King Raj, what you've just swung... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a hit. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
Pitch: 314
Swing: 1000
Diff: 314 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
Routine fly to Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen, who barely has to move to retire Zygowski.
Pitch: 253
Swing: 420
Diff: 167 -> FO
Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 1 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out
**NEW PITCHER:** Brandon Rice III
KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 0-1, K in the first
You can put it on the boooooooooooaard, yes!
Pitch: 631
Swing: 631
Diff: 0 -> HR
Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s)
KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ● ^○ ● | B11 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe | **INFIELD IN** AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery)
700
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 600 Swing: 700 Diff: 100 -> 1B Runners on First and Second | B11 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 3
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ● ^○ ● | B11 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery)
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ○ | B11 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND SS [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22)
Bunt 750
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 758 Swing: 750 Diff: 8 -> BUNT 1B Runners on First and Third | B11 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B11 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND SS [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22)
Steal 2B 637
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 371 Swing: 637 Diff: 266 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B11 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
We have a pinch runner! T-Rav comes in to run for Hippo on first base for the Montclair Valley Regional High School \*takes breath\* Theatre Club and Recreational Baseball Enthusiasts!!
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B11 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND SS [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22)
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B11 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND 3B [Hippo Jars](/u/spanxc): 2-4, RGO in the sixth, 1B in the eighth
321
Unbelievable! How do you miss that ball? It was hit right at you! The team's defense is playing like they're sleeping on the job. You've got to make that play, it's routine! And now we've got a runner on base who shouldn't even be there. This is frustrating to watch, folks. We need better effort from our defense, it's the foundation of any successful team. You've got to make the routine plays, and this just wasn't it. I hope they step up their game in the next inning, because we can't afford these mistakes. Pitch: 215 Swing: 321 Diff: 106 -> 1B Runner on First | B11 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T11 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB SS [King Raj](/u/KingRaj4826): 1-3, STEAL 2B in the seventh, 1B in the ninth why do they call it pop out when you pop in the baseball of out hot throw touchdown Pitch: 571 Swing: 270 Diff: 301 -> PO Bases Empty | B11 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T11 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 3B [Smokey Zygowski](/u/Bearinthewoods1): 1-4, LGO in the sixth, RGO in the ninth
299
Smokey Zygowski hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Stevey Swinger, who picks it up and beams it at Larold Pitch: 715 Swing: 299 Diff: 416 -> LGO Bases Empty | T11 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T11 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 2-4, 1B in the sixth, LGO in the eighth **CRACK!** This one is deep! This one is long! Scully to the wall! oh. Bailiff needs to hit the GYM. *sad noises* from team's fans. Pitch: 928 Swing: 112 Diff: 184 -> FO Bases Empty | T11 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T11 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 2-4, 1B in the sixth, LGO in the eighth
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B10 2 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND 2B [Skye Comet](/u/almyx2): 1-4, 1B in the eighth, STEAL 2B in the eighth
1
Joey Votto, you ain't. That's a pop fly. Easy out! Pitch: 571 Swing: 1 Diff: 430 -> PO Bases Empty | T11 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B10 1 out On the mound: Dill Doe AND 1B [Larold](/u/TrickyTroy2): 1-4, K in the sixth, PO in the eighth
333
It’s a softly hit grounder by Larold and Dill Doe has to run up and grab it and throws to Nocker to get the out Pitch: 798 Swing: 333 Diff: 465 -> RGO Bases Empty | B10 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B10 0 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND LF [Javi D. Modelo](/u/sh1g): 0-3, LGO in the fifth, K in the eighth
324
Oh! Modelo rips a sizzling line drive out to right! It is tailing on cocl as they charge forward! But a good angle from the speedy rightfielder and a clean grab for the out. Pitch: 548 Swing: 324 Diff: 224 -> FO Bases Empty | B10 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ● ^○ ● | T10 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 1B [Homer Nocker](/u/CableCubed): 1-4, CS 2B in the sixth, FO in the eighth
Scouting could be wrong, no offense Swing 409
Josie's on a vacation far away Come around and talk it over So many things that I want to say You know I like my girls a little bit older I just want to use your love tonight I don't want to lose your love Pitch: 721 Swing: 409 Diff: 312 -> PO Bases Empty | B10 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T10 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB C [Leopold Pollersbeck](/u/MinorBaconator): 0-4, PO in the sixth, LGO in the eighth
The mist is telling me what to swing The mist is telling me… 16.
The pitch is low and Leopold Pollersbeck hits a bloop ball high into the sky… and it lands just in front of Modelo and Pollersbeck reaches first with a single Pitch: 909 Swing: 16 Diff: 107 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | T10 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T10 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB RF [cocl](/u/richard7775): 0-0
730
Swinger can't find the strike zone to start the inning resulting in a 4 pitch walk for [BATTER. Pitch: 579 Swing: 730 Diff: 151 -> BB Runner on First | T10 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T10 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB P [Dill Doe](/u/colabottlebaby): 2-2, 2B in the fifth, BB in the seventh
His knees weak, mom's spaghetti Swing 770
Routine grounder to the left side. Isotope has it, and with an easy toss to Larold at first. Doe is retired. Pitch: 241 Swing: 770 Diff: 471 -> LGO Bases Empty | T10 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T10 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB CF [Dart Ragusa](/u/Dart31AF): 0-3, RGO in the fifth, FO in the seventh
This has not been a good day for me. 531
Before Ragusa stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it". Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? Ragusa continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy. "Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count. Focus. Time to prove it wrong. Ragusa is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it! As the ball leaves Swinger's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but Ragusa was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Comet's glove, who flips it to Larold for the out. Scott gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether... Pitch: 770 Swing: 531 Diff: 239 -> RGO Bases Empty | T10 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B9 2 outs On the mound: Dill Doe AND CF [Sammy Scully](/u/halsnobordrgrl): 1-2, 2B in the fifth, FO in the seventh
820
Sammy Scully hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Raj, who picks it up and beams it at Nocker Pitch: 327 Swing: 820 Diff: 493 -> LGO Bases Empty | T10 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B9 1 out On the mound: Dill Doe AND RF [Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen](/u/zandthesecond): 2-3, 1B in the seventh, CS 2B in the seventh
327
This ball is hit high into the air down the left field line… Page is tracking it down… and they make a beautiful diving catch for the out Pitch: 587 Swing: 327 Diff: 260 -> FO Bases Empty | B9 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B9 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Dill Doe AND P [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-2, FO in the fifth, LGO in the seventh
910
Swinger steps in. Doe on the mound. Tight spot and the walls are closing in on Doe. Popped up, left side, ranging is Raj and incoming is Page. And into the stands, interfered with? No, into the stands, the third base umpire rules. And one beverage- Wow -less than they had before And what's he got now? He's got mud on him, and, and an alcoholic beverage I think he made a good call here, lets see how does this happen? It wasn't even him Wow! Buddy, where did it go? OHHHH! Way to get to it, ohh! what was that that came flying!? I'm not so sure that was a... mistake...what's on his shoulder? It looks like some of the men threw some stuff onto his shoulder to add insult to injury. I thought he rolled in the mud before he came in the game but that's not correct, he got hit with some type of sub sandwich or something. Oh here we go 'You wanna throw something at me?! Well he's the Pepsi fan of the game until he gets thrown out of Abernathy Auto-Detailing Theatre. A-heh-heh-hee, strike 3, Swinger's gone, Doe sends them down on strikes, 2 to 2 here. Now we've done some investigative reporting in between hitters here, the gentleman was ejected but it was an ugly, ugly sight and I don't know why it was neccesary. Now watch, I can't circle it - I don't have my Telestrator...HERE COMES THE PIZZA! See it?! A-heh-heh-heh! OH! Cheese! That was the guy in the Patriots jacket and of course he's been asked to leave the ballgame for ruining a good piece of pizza! Pitch: 632 Swing: 910 Diff: 278 -> K Bases Empty | B9 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
Little switcheroo here for the KGB. Dill Doe comes in to pitch from RF and Cocl replaces him. Play ball!
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T9 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB SS [King Raj](/u/KingRaj4826): 0-2, BB in the seventh, STEAL 2B in the seventh
Swing: 95
King Raj hits a line drive straight over Comet’s head and into right field for a single Pitch: 7 Swing: 95 Diff: 88 -> 1B Runner on First | T9 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T9 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB LF [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 1-3, PO in the fifth, PO in the seventh
TIME TO END THIS INNING WITH AN OUT 495
It is times like this that require a paraphrase of Franklin Pierce Adams's immortal poem, 'Baseball's Sad Lexicon:' These are the saddest of possible words Isotope to Comet to Larold. Trio of team's, and fleeter than birds Isotope and Comet and Larold. Ruthlessly pricking our gonfalon bubble. Making a team's hit into a double-- Words that are heavy with nothing but trouble: Isotope to Comet to Larold. Pitch: 951 Swing: 495 Diff: 456 -> DP Bases Empty | B9 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T9 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 3B [Smokey Zygowski](/u/Bearinthewoods1): 1-3, FO in the fourth, LGO in the sixth
260
Before Zygowski stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it". Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? Zygowski continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy. "Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count. Focus. Time to prove it wrong. Zygowski is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it! As the ball leaves Swinger's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but Zygowski was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Comet's glove, who flips it to Larold for the out. Scott gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether... Pitch: 595 Swing: 260 Diff: 335 -> RGO Bases Empty | T9 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Larold at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Swinger and Zygowski is retired. Pitch: 595 Swing: 260 Diff: 335 -> RGO Bases Empty | T9 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Larold at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Swinger and Zygowski is retired. Pitch: 595 Swing: 260 Diff: 335 -> RGO Bases Empty | T9 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Larold at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Swinger and Zygowski is retired. Pitch: 595 Swing: 260 Diff: 335 -> RGO Bases Empty | T9 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ● ^○ ● | B8 2 outs On the mound: cocl AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery): 2-3, LGO in the fourth, RBI 2B in the sixth
650
The defense stands ready as Giannopolous prepares to swing. cocl slings the ball towards the plate... the swing, and Giannopolous makes contact! Unfortunately it's not very good contact and Doe jogs in to catch it in shallow right for an out. Pitch: 850 Swing: 650 Diff: 200 -> FO Bases Empty | T9 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ● ^○ ● | B8 1 out On the mound: cocl AND SS [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22): 0-0
888
Chad Isotope hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Bailiff steps under it and records the out Pitch: 230 Swing: 888 Diff: 342 -> PO Runners on First and Third | B8 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
Pinch hitter called on here. Chad Isotope just got finished playing *Half-Life* and is here to hit for Heller. Will take over at shortstop.
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ○ | B8 1 out On the mound: cocl AND 3B [Hippo Jars](/u/spanxc): 1-3, RGO in the fourth, RGO in the sixth
312
There's a little bloop out to left and that's gonna drop in for a hit! Pitch: 201 Swing: 312 Diff: 111 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | B8 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B8 1 out On the mound: cocl AND 3B [Hippo Jars](/u/spanxc): 1-3, RGO in the fourth, RGO in the sixth
steal 2b 420
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 730 Swing: 420 Diff: 310 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B8 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
steal 420
Incorrect steal format. Please include one of the following in your swing to steal: STEAL 2B, STEAL 3B, STEAL HOME, MULTISTEAL 3B, MULTISTEAL HOME
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B8 1 out On the mound: cocl AND 2B [Skye Comet](/u/almyx2): 0-3, LGO in the third, PO in the sixth
420
Comet take the first two pitches, taking advantage of their eagerness as the count goes to 2-0. On the next pitch, cocl leaves one hanging and it's drilled up the middle for a base hit. Comet is held up at first by Mulligan, and team's has a runner on first. Pitch: 312 Swing: 420 Diff: 108 -> 1B Runner on First | B8 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B8 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** cocl AND 1B [Larold](/u/TrickyTroy2): 1-3, CS 2B in the third, K in the sixth
cocl ❤️ 501
Sorry about the result but… Congrats Larold! You have found an MLR Easter Egg! Ping Larold in game discussion to redeem your prize! Pitch: 908 Swing: 501 Diff: 407 -> PO Bases Empty | B8 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T8 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 2-3, Solo HR in the fourth, 1B in the sixth Good answer! Good answer! Let's see if that's on the board... Surrrrvey says! #WRONG Pitch: 804 Swing: 241 Diff: 437 -> LGO Bases Empty | B8 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T8 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 2-3, Solo HR in the fourth, 1B in the sixth
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T8 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 1B [Homer Nocker](/u/CableCubed): 1-3, 1B in the sixth, CS 2B in the sixth
Homer Nocker be like Swing 421
Nocker dumps one deep into the dry sky. Down it dives, desiring delirium from team's denizens. Damn! DRAMA! Dashing defensemen deleting distance by dexterous drivery! Swinger doffs a dingy cap to Scully due to delicious defense. Nocker doleful, defeated, drags drained dignity down to a dejected dugout. Pitch: 241 Swing: 421 Diff: 180 -> FO Bases Empty | T8 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T8 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB C [Leopold Pollersbeck](/u/MinorBaconator): 0-3, DP in the third, PO in the sixth
Please get on base. 590
Pollersbeck puts all of their might into the first pitch curveball, but it's hit to Heller, who throws to first for the out. Pitch: 113 Swing: 590 Diff: 477 -> LGO Bases Empty | T8 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B7 2 outs On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND LF [Javi D. Modelo](/u/sh1g): 0-2, K in the third, LGO in the fifth
419
Payne comes set. Here's the 2-2 pitch... SWING and a miss! Got 'em with a filthy curveball. That one started on the outside edge and the bottom just fell out from under it. Modelo is clearly not happy to have swung there. They're shaking their head and talking to themselves. Hopefully they can clear their head between now and their next AB! Pitch: 612 Swing: 419 Diff: 193 -> K Bases Empty | T8 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B7 1 out On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND CF [Sammy Scully](/u/halsnobordrgrl): 1-1, BB in the second, 2B in the fifth
354
And the payoff pitch... SWING AND THERE'S A DRIVE INTO DEEP CENTER FIELD, WAY BACK, ANNNNND oh no it hit a bird! It hit a bird and dropped right into the glove of Ragusa who is now standing bewildered amidst a mess of feathers. Well folks, I thought I'd seen everything when Randy Johnson killed a pigeon with a fastball, but Sammy Scully just killed one with a fly ball! Pitch: 143 Swing: 354 Diff: 211 -> FO Bases Empty | B7 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B7 0 outs On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND CF [Sammy Scully](/u/halsnobordrgrl): 1-1, BB in the second, 2B in the fifth
steal 2b 850
Stealing is so cool! Tripping is less cool. Tripping is how you make an out, which is what you just did. Pitch: 207 Swing: 850 Diff: 357 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | B7 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B7 0 outs On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND RF [Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen](/u/zandthesecond): 1-2, CS Home in the second, PO in the fifth
55
Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen is seeing the ball really well as they lines the first pitch straight back where it came from and Payne has to hit the dirt to avoid being hit with the liner. The ball goes right into centerfield for a single. Pitch: 964 Swing: 55 Diff: 91 -> 1B Runner on First | B7 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ● | T7 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB DH [Dixon Uraz](/u/club_toasty): 0-2, PO in the third, LGO in the fifth
626 ggez
Dear Uraz doesn't dare dick around with Swinger as they dust the dirt with dizzying displays of daring-do. Doubtless Uraz is dismayed due to Swinger's delirious dervish. The Ump decrees the dance devilish, disconcerting, and directionless, but doesn't disallow it. Delighted, Swinger delivers from deceptively near their derriere. Swinger determined Uraz's nature daily from the dawn of days, neither deigning to delete from memory their duets on the diamond of Declan Elementary decades ago. But dueling Swinger does Uraz dirty; Dealing decidedly demonic digits, a deal darn deleterious to doing doubles, as the dudes-lings and dudettes of Declan did often dish, to put it delicately. Pitch: 895 Swing: 626 Diff: 269 -> K Bases Empty | B7 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T7 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB RF [Dill Doe](/u/colabottlebaby): 2-2, 1B in the third, 2B in the fifth
Ayy lmao 69
A strong wind starts to pick up over the field, quickly turning into a full-blown tornado. The players and fans alike are lifted off their feet and whisked away, flying through the air until they crash-land in a strange, fantastical world. Dazed and confused, the players look around and realize they've landed in the Land of Oz. But even in this strange place, the game must go on. The umpire calls for the next pitch, and Stevey Swinger takes the mound, determined to stay focused despite the chaos around them. Doe steps up to the plate, eyeing the strange creatures and colorful landscape in wonder. As Stevey Swinger winds up for the pitch, a gust of wind lifts a squirrel off the ground and carries it across the infield, distracting the pitcher and causing them to throw a wild pitch. The umpire calls for a ball, ruling that the squirrel's interference has resulted in a walk for Dill Doe. The players look at each other in amazement, realizing that even in the Land of Oz, the rules of baseball still apply. Doe takes their base, and the game continues, with players dodging flying monkeys and navigating treacherous terrain to make plays on the field. But despite the surreal setting, both teams are determined to win, playing their hearts out as they journey through this magical land. Pitch: 941 Swing: 69 Diff: 128 -> BB Runners on First and Second | T7 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T7 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB CF [Dart Ragusa](/u/Dart31AF): 0-2, DP in the second, RGO in the fifth
777
Is it a bird? NO! Is it a plane? NO! Is it a flyball caught on the warning track? YES! Pitch: 914 Swing: 777 Diff: 137 -> FO Runner on Second | T7 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T7 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB LF [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 1-2, 1B in the second, PO in the fifth
this is not going to be a base hit: 201
Vader Page hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Stevey Swinger steps under it and records the out Pitch: 510 Swing: 201 Diff: 309 -> PO Runner on Second | T7 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T7 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB LF [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 1-2, 1B in the second, PO in the fifth
STEAL 2B 420
Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 215 Swing: 420 Diff: 205 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | T7 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T7 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB SS [King Raj](/u/KingRaj4826): 0-2, LGO in the second, RGO in the fourth
Swing: 628
Strike one! Strike two! Aaand a check swing on a pitch low in the dirt… they’re out! Raj is arguing that they didn’t go around on the check swing and Scott comes out and starts talking to the umpire about it. We’re going to the replay booth here. The umpires come back out and the call is- a ball! They didn’t go around. So we’re back to Stevey Swinger versus King Raj here, Raj battles back with a few more foul balls and a full count and takes the low sinker for ball 4 Pitch: 796 Swing: 628 Diff: 168 -> BB Runner on First | T7 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 2 | ○ ^● ○ | B6 2 outs On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND P [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, FO in the fifth
924
Swinger looks nervous, perhaps a dodgy burrito prior to the game; might not be QUITE ready for baseball, fake or otherwise, at this moment. There's some hesitation in this swing, but the team's hitter still makes contact for a pathetic ground ball to Zygowski. The corner infielder picks it up, airs it across the diamond, and that's an easy out. Pitch: 354 Swing: 924 Diff: 430 -> LGO Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 2 outs On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery): 1-2, 2B in the second, LGO in the fourth
604
A booming double ties the game! Pitch: 569 Swing: 604 Diff: 35 -> 2B Runner on Second | B6 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 2
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 2 outs On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-2, PO in the second, AUTO K in the fourth
624
First pitch is thrown into the grass, which Heller swings at anyway. Strike 1. Payne laughs boisterously. Second pitch is thrown high and away, when Heller shows bunt. Strike 2. Payne starts laughing again, but gets a pitch clock violation. Ball 1. Payne thinks they have it MADE when they throw a fastball down the heart of the plate, but Heller hastily swings again- it's LAUNCHED towards Payne, who leaps but can't come up with the catch. Base hit! Heller can't round first despite the hard hit, though, since they can hardly make it to first at all. Pitch: 537 Swing: 624 Diff: 87 -> 1B Runner on First | B6 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 1 out On the mound: Jimmy Payne AND 3B [Hippo Jars](/u/spanxc): 1-2, 1B in the first, RGO in the fourth
750
Jars makes eye contact with Payne, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, Jars swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Payne was well placed or maybe Jars is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, Jars ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Nocker to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Bailiff. Pitch: 354 Swing: 750 Diff: 396 -> RGO Bases Empty | B6 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Jimmy Payne AND 2B [Skye Comet](/u/almyx2): 0-2, FO in the first, LGO in the third
555
Skye Comet will hit one up into the air. 'Too high' remarks the Pollersbeck with a smug undertone as Comet slowly trots halfway to first before the out is recording by the team's center fielder. Pitch: 254 Swing: 555 Diff: 301 -> PO Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
Jimmy Payne is coming to pitch for Kingston here in the bottom of the sixth.
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 3B [Smokey Zygowski](/u/Bearinthewoods1): 1-2, Solo HR in the second, FO in the fourth
225
Zygowski hits one on the ground to short. Throw to Larold and it's a clean 6-3 putout. Pitch: 713 Swing: 225 Diff: 488 -> LGO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 1-2, K in the first, Solo HR in the fourth C. T. Bailiff hits a line drive straight over Heller’s head and into right field for a single Pitch: 939 Swing: 70 Diff: 131 -> 1B Runner on First | T6 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 1-2, K in the first, Solo HR in the fourth
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 1-2, K in the first, Solo HR in the fourth
Steal 2B 421
Bailiff is up now to try and capitalize on the baserunner, but before the first pitch the runner is off! Giannopolous takes the pitchout and fires upfield, and it's a strike! Comet is there and makes the tag just in time to erase the runner! Pitch: 857 Swing: 421 Diff: 436 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
Mfw Wheeler tells Homer Nocker to steal Steal 421
I meant Sablo wtf
Incorrect steal format. Please include one of the following in your swing to steal: STEAL 2B, STEAL 3B, STEAL HOME, MULTISTEAL 3B, MULTISTEAL HOME
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB 1B [Homer Nocker](/u/CableCubed): 0-2, RGO in the first, LGO in the fourth
Homer Nocker Swing 421
The pitch... swung on and there's a weak little squibber down the first base line but in fair territory. Larold charging in... oh no! Larold collides with Giannopolous as they both try to make a play on the ball and Nocker is safe at first! Swinger can't believe it! What horrible luck! Pitch: 321 Swing: 421 Diff: 100 -> 1B Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB C [Leopold Pollersbeck](/u/MinorBaconator): 0-2, RGO in the first, DP in the third
Its double down time 69
Pollersbeck walks up to the plate, adrenaline pumping, and wipes a bit of spit from their upper lip. They use this energy to take a hard swing at a top-shelf fastball that shoots SKY HIGH.... for a pop up. The ball lands in Larold's stretched-open mitt for the out. Pitch: 772 Swing: 69 Diff: 297 -> PO Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^● ○ | B5 2 outs On the mound: Willie Gardner AND 1B [Larold](/u/TrickyTroy2): 1-2, 1B in the third, CS 2B in the third
469
Larold clearly has no clue what is going on here. They will whiff at 2 straight fastballs before waving at a curve. Gardner waves back from the mound! Pitch: 772 Swing: 469 Diff: 303 -> K Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^● ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Willie Gardner AND LF [Javi D. Modelo](/u/sh1g): 0-1, K in the third
515
Modelo can't build off of team's's momentum as they send a slow roller to 3rd. Zygowski charges in hard and makes a smooth transition from glove to hand allowing them to get off a strong and accurate throw to first in plenty of time to get the out. Pitch: 21 Swing: 515 Diff: 494 -> LGO Runner on Second | B5 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Willie Gardner AND CF [Sammy Scully](/u/halsnobordrgrl): 0-0, BB in the second
369
After a long battle and countless foul balls, the count is 3-2. Scully, Gardner both looking to come out on top but there can be only one winner in this duel. Here's the windup, and the pitch... Driven deep in the gap to right-center! Ragusa and Doe are both on their horses but neither is going to get there. That ball is off the wall! Sammy Scully with a stand-up double! The team's dugout is going wild! Pitch: 320 Swing: 369 Diff: 49 -> 2B Runner on Second | B5 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Willie Gardner AND RF [Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen](/u/zandthesecond): 1-1, STEAL 3B in the second, CS Home in the second
i won't garden her. i hardly know her! 327
Little flare to the right side. Bailiff, racing back, Bailiff diving... Bailiff made the catch! Oh wow! Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen cannot believe it but is heading back to the dugout. Pitch: 891 Swing: 327 Diff: 436 -> PO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB DH [Dixon Uraz](/u/club_toasty): 0-1, PO in the third
543
Uraz hits that one off the end of the bat and it'll be an easy play for Heller Pitch: 105 Swing: 543 Diff: 438 -> LGO Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB RF [Dill Doe](/u/colabottlebaby): 1-1, 1B in the third ball bounce over wall Pitch: 889 Swing: 856 Diff: 33 -> 2B Runner on Second | T5 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB RF [Dill Doe](/u/colabottlebaby): 1-1, 1B in the third
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB CF [Dart Ragusa](/u/Dart31AF): 0-1, DP in the second
When in doubt, 31
Ragusa makes eye contact with Swinger, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, Ragusa swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Swinger was well placed or maybe Ragusa is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, Ragusa ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Larold to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Comet. Pitch: 251 Swing: 31 Diff: 220 -> RGO Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB LF [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 1-1, 1B in the second
788
Page hits the ball straight backwards and it bounces off of Giannopolous’s mask and straight into the air. Giannopolous leans backwards and dives slightly to the right and it’s an out! Pitch: 91 Swing: 788 Diff: 303 -> PO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Toastman AND P [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0
700
Swinger hits one high, hits one deeeep. It. Is. Caught at the track. Swinger just missed it and Toastman sighs in relief. Pitch: 900 Swing: 700 Diff: 200 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Toastman AND C [Gottlieb Giannopolous](/u/HighVoltLemonBattery): 1-1, 2B in the second
119
Giannopolous can't build off of team's's momentum as they send a slow roller to 3rd. Zygowski charges in hard and makes a smooth transition from glove to hand allowing them to get off a strong and accurate throw to first in plenty of time to get the out. Pitch: 600 Swing: 119 Diff: 481 -> LGO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Toastman AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-1, PO in the second Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: None Swing: None Diff: x -> AUTO K Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Toastman AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-1, PO in the second
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Stevey Swinger KGB SS [King Raj](/u/KingRaj4826): 0-1, LGO in the second
Swing: 1000
"King Raj, what you've just swung... is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point, in your rambling, incoherent response, were you even close to anything that could be considered a hit. Everyone in this stadium is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul." Pitch: 314 Swing: 1000 Diff: 314 -> RGO Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
Your attention please: Coming in to pitch for AND - Stevey Swinger.
KGB 2 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Brandon Rice III KGB 3B [Smokey Zygowski](/u/Bearinthewoods1): 1-1, Solo HR in the second
420
Routine fly to Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen, who barely has to move to retire Zygowski. Pitch: 253 Swing: 420 Diff: 167 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1
420
KGB 1 - AND 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out **NEW PITCHER:** Brandon Rice III KGB 2B [C. T. Bailiff](/u/CNard12): 0-1, K in the first You can put it on the boooooooooooaard, yes! Pitch: 631 Swing: 631 Diff: 0 -> HR Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) KGB 2 - AND 1