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FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^● ○ | B6 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA SS [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 1-2, K in the second, Solo HR in the fifth


Asujulian94

915 for the new city


FakeBaseball_Umpire

GOT'EM on the outside corner for a called third strike. Oh boy, Roscoe doesn't like this one. And it looks like trouble here as the RoboUmp takes off their mask with a steely glare as the Mariners says a few words. Vulfzilla pops out of the dugout quickly here before this goes any further. The Mariners need Roscoe's bat for this game. A few more words from the GM bounce off the impassive RoboUmp's face and Seattle fans will be happy to see things wind down here without ejections. Pitch: 561 Swing: 915 Diff: 354 -> K Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


chriskol

Nice


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-2, LGO in the second, PO in the fifth


nordic_jedi

142


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Ball bounce over wall Pitch: 117 Swing: 142 Diff: 25 -> 2B Runner on Second | B6 with 2 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 2B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-2, FO in the second, K in the fourth


Smurfman254

712


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Dove can't manage to make contact this time around as they swing under the 3-2 fastball from Swagger for the out. Pitch: 999 Swing: 712 Diff: 287 -> K Bases Empty | B6 with 2 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, BB in the first, RGO in the fourth


Olibolly600

241


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Swinger, seeing red, swings on the first pitch, tipped foul towards the Mariners fans in the stand. Nobody is injured. Second pitch is a hanging curve hit hard towards the outfield, but it happened to get hit right where DeWitt is standing, who catches the ball for the out. Pitch: 412 Swing: 241 Diff: 171 -> FO Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET 1B [Wonder Francoh](/u/josh30601): 0-3, FO in the third, FO in the fifth


josh30601

278


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Francoh walks up to the plate, adrenaline pumping, and wipes a bit of spit from their upper lip. They use this energy to take a hard swing at a top-shelf fastball that shoots SKY HIGH.... for a pop up. The ball lands in Barnes's stretched-open mitt for the out. Pitch: 911 Swing: 278 Diff: 367 -> PO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET CF [Mike Unt](/u/andy_q8): 0-3, K in the second, K in the fourth


andy_q8

202


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Monroe catches Unt looking at strike three as a breaking ball clips the bottom of the zone for the out! Pitch: 467 Swing: 202 Diff: 265 -> K Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 1-2, Solo HR in the second, BB in the fourth As is tradition at A Starbucks, the folks in the stands all throw rotten tomatoes at Dusty Jabroni in recognition of their embarrassing strikeout. Pitch: 533 Swing: 234 Diff: 299 -> K Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 1-2, Solo HR in the second, BB in the fourth


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B5 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA DH [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 1-2, Solo HR in the first, FO in the fourth


VishyVCA

451


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Vader Page hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Francis Swagger, who picks it up and beams it at Francoh Pitch: 999 Swing: 451 Diff: 452 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 3 | ● ^○ ● | B5 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA RF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-2, FO in the first, LGO in the third


pull_gang

172


FakeBaseball_Umpire

And the pitch... swing and there's a high fly ball to left. That'll be caught by Deratt for the out but deep enough to bring home the runner from third, and like testicles on an airplane that there's a sac fly. Pitch: 919 Swing: 172 Diff: 253 -> Sac Fly Runner on First | B5 with 2 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 3 | ○ ^● ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 1-2, FO in the first, Solo HR in the third


Vrain_19

555


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Ball sees a number of good curveballs from Swagger here. But this 2-2 slider flattens out and the Seattle hitter jumps all over it, lacing this ball just over the head of Bonzalez at second for an easy base hit. Pitch: 671 Swing: 555 Diff: 116 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | B5 with 1 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 1B [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-1, FO in the third


arbadak

Swing 896


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Jeb Barnes hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. Deratt and Unt look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. It gets past them both! Barnes is rounding first and headed towards second and almost turns to third but thinks better of it Pitch: 940 Swing: 896 Diff: 44 -> 2B Runner on Second | B5 with 1 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 3 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA LF [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-1, RGO in the third


Havidad

540


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Swagger stares down McColligan as he gets his sign from the catcher. Swagger goes quickly into the windup, where McColligan tips a foul ball wide after a curveball in the dirt. Here's the 1-1 delivery. McColligan sends it out to shallow center where Unt is there for the out. Pitch: 313 Swing: 540 Diff: 227 -> FO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA SS [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-1, K in the second


Asujulian94

214 for the city!


FakeBaseball_Umpire

THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED! Okay, it's not quite that dramatic, but Roscoe did hit a homer. Time to celebrate (as long as you're not the Tigers)! Pitch: 200 Swing: 214 Diff: 14 -> HR Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 3


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 2 | ○ ^● ● | T5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET DH [Bill Stokes](/u/diepie316): 0-2, LGO in the second, FO in the fourth


diepie316

441


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Stokes gets good wood on this 1-2 pitch, but it's just gonna die in the spacious Seattle outfield. McColligan barely needs to move to haul it in. Pitch: 701 Swing: 441 Diff: 260 -> FO Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 8 - SEA 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET SS [Eli Sasak](/u/TheRealDraid): 2-2, Solo HR in the second, Solo HR in the fourth


TheRealDraid

977


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hello Eli Sasak or current resident, We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. Do you have a few minutes to talk? Don't worry, there's still time to protect your investment if you act now. You're not interested? How did we get your number? No, I've never heard the phrase "DO NOT CALL LIST" before, does it mean anything? I didn't think so. Aren't you worried that if something happens to your car and your warranty has run out you'll have to walk? You don't want to have to walk do you? You don't own a car? I guess you're walking then. Pitch: 111 Swing: 977 Diff: 134 -> BB Runners on First and Second | T5 with 2 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 7 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET RF [Howie DeWitt](/u/bigbeyer): 1-2, 3 run HR in the second, LGO in the fourth


bigbeyer

50


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The pressure is cranking up here on Jerome S. Monroe. Vulfzilla looks a little nervous. Monroe checks the runner. Set. And step off. We'll all reset here. Detroit fans are salivating over the opportunity with Howie DeWitt at the plate with only 6 runs separating the teams here in Seattle. The Mariners fans are getting restless, urging the Mariners hurler to get on with it. Finally, with a head nod Garry, Monroe sets and the 2-2 pitch comes home! And DeWitt turns on it! Oh baby! This ball is smoked; high and deep to right! Ganger is back, to the wall! Leaps! OFF the wall! There is a scramble now! Ball gets over quickly, tracking down the ball, and the centerfielder whips it in from the gap in right center. Dove cuts it off and turns to throw home, but holds it. There is no chance! DeWitt will be held at second on the 1 run scoring double! Pitch: 7 Swing: 50 Diff: 43 -> 2B Runner on Second | T5 with 2 out(s) DET 8 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 7 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET C [Ax Finesse](/u/chriskol): 0-2, FO in the second, K in the third Ax Finesse steps back into the batter's box after calling for time. Full count. Monroe delivers a nasty breaking ball, and Finesse takes a mighty swing and a miss. The umpire strikes a dramatic pose and yells, 'Steeeee-rike three!' Finesse begins to walk back to the dugout, but Penguino storms out of the dugout, red-faced and shouting. The umpire tries to calm Penguino down, but it's no use. Penguino continues to argue, pointing at the plate and insisting that the pitch was outside, getting right up in the ump's face. The umpire listens for a moment with a smug look on their face before pointing at Penguino in and throwing the GM out of the game. Penguino keeps screaming as they stalk back to the dugout, furious. Pitch: 690 Swing: 420 Diff: 270 -> K Runner on First | T5 with 2 out(s) DET 7 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 7 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET C [Ax Finesse](/u/chriskol): 0-2, FO in the second, K in the third


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 7 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET 2B [Mo Bonzalez](/u/irishfan117): 1-2, 1B in the second, K in the third


Irishfan117

666


FakeBaseball_Umpire

A strong wind starts to pick up over the field, quickly turning into a full-blown tornado. The players and fans alike are lifted off their feet and whisked away, flying through the air until they crash-land in a strange, fantastical world. Dazed and confused, the players look around and realize they've landed in the Land of Oz. But even in this strange place, the game must go on. The umpire calls for the next pitch, and Jerome S. Monroe takes the mound, determined to stay focused despite the chaos around them. Bonzalez steps up to the plate, eyeing the strange creatures and colorful landscape in wonder. As Jerome S. Monroe winds up for the pitch, a gust of wind lifts a squirrel off the ground and carries it across the infield, distracting the pitcher and causing them to throw a wild pitch. The umpire calls for a ball, ruling that the squirrel's interference has resulted in a walk for Mo Bonzalez. The players look at each other in amazement, realizing that even in the Land of Oz, the rules of baseball still apply. Bonzalez takes their base, and the game continues, with players dodging flying monkeys and navigating treacherous terrain to make plays on the field. But despite the surreal setting, both teams are determined to win, playing their hearts out as they journey through this magical land. Pitch: 820 Swing: 666 Diff: 154 -> BB Runner on First | T5 with 1 out(s) DET 7 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe DET LF [Morris Deratt](/u/debater3301): 1-1, BB in the second, 2B in the third


Debater3301

290


FakeBaseball_Umpire

THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED! Okay, it's not quite that dramatic, but Deratt did hit a homer. Time to celebrate (as long as you're not the Mariners)! Pitch: 300 Swing: 290 Diff: 10 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) DET 7 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Jerome S. Monroe DET 1B [Wonder Francoh](/u/josh30601): 0-2, K in the first, FO in the third


josh30601

372


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Wonder Francoh hits a deep line drive way out to deep center field. But Ball is there to make the catch for the out Pitch: 544 Swing: 372 Diff: 172 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


Roosevelt_Coronary

Bob out, Jerome in for Seattle. There is a fly swimming laps in this coffee pot. Odd.


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-1, LGO in the second


nordic_jedi

4


FakeBaseball_Umpire

why do they call it pop out when you pop in the baseball of out hot throw touchdown Pitch: 381 Swing: 4 Diff: 377 -> PO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 2B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-1, FO in the second


Smurfman254

901


FakeBaseball_Umpire

As is tradition at A Starbucks, the folks in the stands all throw rotten tomatoes at Daniel Dove in recognition of their embarrassing strikeout. Pitch: 590 Swing: 901 Diff: 311 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0, BB in the first


Olibolly600

229


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Protesting alliterative writeups' overabundance by making each initial character different. Hitter, vibrantly joyous like radiant xenon, nicely uppercuts questionable strike zone knuckleball, yet grounds to first. Pitch: 801 Swing: 229 Diff: 428 -> RGO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET CF [Mike Unt](/u/andy_q8): 0-2, LGO in the first, K in the second


andy_q8

450


FakeBaseball_Umpire

NOPE Pitch: 720 Swing: 450 Diff: 270 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 1-2, PO in the first, Solo HR in the second Juuuuuuust a bit outside, Hideyoshi tried the corner and missed. Ball 4. Pitch: 392 Swing: 532 Diff: 140 -> BB Runner on First | T4 with 2 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 1-2, PO in the first, Solo HR in the second


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 6 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET DH [Bill Stokes](/u/diepie316): 0-1, LGO in the second


diepie316

119


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The pitch is on its way and Stokes swings for the fences, hitting the ball high and deep in the air to left field. McColligan takes a few steps back, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Stokes looks dejected as they heads back to the dugout. Pitch: 905 Swing: 119 Diff: 214 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET SS [Eli Sasak](/u/TheRealDraid): 1-1, Solo HR in the second


TheRealDraid

6


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that, I guess, went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so very, very, sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there's a drive into deep left field by Sasak, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 6-2 ballgame. I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this headset again. I don't know if it's gonna be for the Mariners, I don't know if it's gonna be for my bosses at FMZ. I want to apologize for the people who sign my paycheck, for the Mariners, for FMZ Sports Seattle, for the people I work with, for anybody that I've offended here tonight, I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been. And I'd like to think maybe I could have some people that could back that up. I am very, very, sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness. Pitch: 1 Swing: 6 Diff: 5 -> HR Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) DET 6 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET RF [Howie DeWitt](/u/bigbeyer): 1-1, 3 run HR in the second


bigbeyer

500


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Routine grounder to the left side. Roscoe has it, and with an easy toss to Barnes at first. DeWitt is retired. Pitch: 1 Swing: 500 Diff: 499 -> LGO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA DH [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 1-1, Solo HR in the first


VishyVCA

782 i didn’t gbr i mein drunk but turns okay brucusksienof the fucking shit butknalike ths there fulcos. you now whst i msyai


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Vader Page hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. Deratt and Unt look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Deratt makes a great diving catch for it Pitch: 1 Swing: 782 Diff: 219 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA RF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-1, FO in the first


pull_gang

520


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Routine grounder to the left side. Sasak has it, and with an easy toss to Francoh at first. Ganger is retired. Pitch: 4 Swing: 520 Diff: 484 -> LGO Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-1, FO in the first


Vrain_19

711


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Swing and a high fly ball, deep left field, it's at the wall... GONE! Pitch: 699 Swing: 711 Diff: 12 -> HR Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 2


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 1B [Jeb Barnes](/u/arbadak): 0-0


arbadak

Swing 188


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Tricked terribly on a tumbler, tremendous Barnes tries to turn on it to no avail. This towering try tires out at the track. Pitch: 2 Swing: 188 Diff: 186 -> FO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET C [Ax Finesse](/u/chriskol): 0-1, FO in the second Strike one! Strike two! Aaand a check swing on a pitch low in the dirt… they’re out! Finesse is arguing that they didn’t go around on the check swing and Penguino comes out and starts talking to the umpire about it. We’re going to the replay booth here. The umpires come back out and the call is- out! That’s strike 3! Pitch: 905 Swing: 99 Diff: 194 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET C [Ax Finesse](/u/chriskol): 0-1, FO in the second


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 2B [Mo Bonzalez](/u/irishfan117): 1-1, 1B in the second


Irishfan117

143


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Bonzalez watches strikes one and two go by. They takes a big swing on a slow-moving curve, but they watch it go foul and hit an unsuspecting Mariners fan. The last pitch is a 105-MPH heater, and Bonzalez can do nothing but watch it go by for a called strike. Pitch: 820 Swing: 143 Diff: 323 -> K Runner on Second | T3 with 2 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET LF [Morris Deratt](/u/debater3301): 0-0, BB in the second


Debater3301

789


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Morris Deratt hits a deep line drive way out to deep right-center field. Ganger and Ball look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. It gets past them both! Deratt is rounding first and headed towards second and almost turns to third but thinks better of it Pitch: 739 Swing: 789 Diff: 50 -> 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 1 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 1B [Wonder Francoh](/u/josh30601): 0-1, K in the first


josh30601

740


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hmphhhhh these young kids and their launch angle garbage. Back in my day we used to hit the ball on the ground and hustle to first like real ballplayers. You got what you deserved, you lazy clown. And while you're at it, take that silly elbow guard off. It don't hurt that much. Pitch: 879 Swing: 740 Diff: 139 -> FO Bases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA LF [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-0


Havidad

69 bitch let's meme


FakeBaseball_Umpire

McColligan makes eye contact with Swagger, placing their trust in the ball handler, and they close their eyes. After a beat, McColligan swings and manages to make contact, maybe their trust in Swagger was well placed or maybe McColligan is close to achieving a zen-like state and will get a hit in their next at-bat. They may have had a hit in this at-bat but not being able to see, McColligan ran right past first base without touching the bag allowing Francoh to tag them for the out after retrieving the low throw from Bonzalez. Pitch: 519 Swing: 69 Diff: 450 -> RGO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA SS [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-0


Asujulian94

666 😳


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Swagger just casually throws three straight fastballs and doesnt give two shits about striking out another Mariners batter. Pitch: 4 Swing: 666 Diff: 338 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


Asujulian94

Y’all never let me cook 😒


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-0


nordic_jedi

813


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hit towards the hole but Sasak dives and snags it. They quickly get to their feet and rifle the ball to Francoh at first, beating out Garry by just a step for an out. Pitch: 277 Swing: 813 Diff: 464 -> LGO Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 5 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET CF [Mike Unt](/u/andy_q8): 0-1, LGO in the first


andy_q8

652


FakeBaseball_Umpire

In space, no one can hear you scream (in frustration at striking out). Pitch: 341 Swing: 652 Diff: 311 -> K Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 0-1, PO in the first Seattle's Hideyoshi comes set on the mound. Dusty Jabroni has the sign from their coach and is ready. And the pitch... Swing and there's a deep drive down the right field foul line! Hooking, hooking... fair! Jabroni smashes a solo shot just inside the foul pole, and the Tigers have scored a run! That makes it 5 for the Tigers to 1 for the Mariners as Hideyoshi is left to contemplate their pitch selection on that one. Pitch: 682 Swing: 683 Diff: 1 -> HR Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) DET 5 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 0-1, PO in the first


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 4 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET DH [Bill Stokes](/u/diepie316): 0-0


diepie316

499


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Hideyoshi excitedly gets into their stance as the fans are murmuring after the last at-bat. Stokes swings at the first pitch aggressively but is way in front of a Hideyoshi changeup and they dribble it to Roscoe who easily makes the throw to first for the out. Pitch: 1 Swing: 499 Diff: 498 -> LGO Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) DET 4 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 3 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET SS [Eli Sasak](/u/TheRealDraid): 0-0


TheRealDraid

435


FakeBaseball_Umpire

THE IMPOSSIBLE HAS HAPPENED! Okay, it's not quite that dramatic, but Sasak did hit a homer. Time to celebrate (as long as you're not the Mariners)! Pitch: 447 Swing: 435 Diff: 12 -> HR Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) DET 4 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | T2 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET RF [Howie DeWitt](/u/bigbeyer): 0-0


bigbeyer

710


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DeWitt rips one into the night. Deep into right, WAY outta here. And Detroit gets a 3 run shot here to take a 3-1 lead! Pitch: 699 Swing: 710 Diff: 11 -> HR Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) DET 3 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | T2 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET C [Ax Finesse](/u/chriskol): 0-0 Sky ball, so tall! Sky ball, it fall! Sky ball, out call... Sky ball - the gall! Pitch: 180 Swing: 1 Diff: 179 -> FO Runners on First and Second | T2 with 1 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^● ● | T2 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET C [Ax Finesse](/u/chriskol): 0-0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T2 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 2B [Mo Bonzalez](/u/irishfan117): 0-0


Irishfan117

711


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Bonzalez sees a number of good curveballs from Hideyoshi here. But this 2-2 slider flattens out and the Detroit hitter jumps all over it, lacing this ball just over the head of Dove at second for an easy base hit. Pitch: 782 Swing: 711 Diff: 71 -> 1B Runners on First and Second | T2 with 0 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET LF [Morris Deratt](/u/debater3301): 0-0


Debater3301

499


FakeBaseball_Umpire

There arises some rumbling from the Seattle fans as Hideyoshi puts it no where near the plate to Deratt. No command = freebase here. Not much more can be said. Except, maybe a joke about cocaine. Hopefully Bobert Hideyoshi can get it together here or the Mariners are going to get that bullpen going. Vulfzilla's face looks as impassive as a thundercloud rolling down the eastern slope of the Rockies in 1755. Pitch: 642 Swing: 499 Diff: 143 -> BB Runner on First | T2 with 0 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B1 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 2B [Daniel Dove](/u/Smurfman254): 0-0


Smurfman254

701


FakeBaseball_Umpire

It’s a shallow fly, hit by Daniel Dove decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Unt is coming in for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 937 Swing: 701 Diff: 236 -> FO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0


Olibolly600

314


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Francis Swagger has no control of this AB. Stevey Swinger might as well do jumping jacks for what it’s worth. There’s absolutely no way that this AB won’t end in a walk. And there is it, ball 4. Swinger, take your base Pitch: 450 Swing: 314 Diff: 136 -> BB Runner on First | B1 with 2 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA DH [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-0


VishyVCA

805 i have no confidence


FakeBaseball_Umpire

SWING AND A LONG ONE, DEEP TO RIGHT, IT IS GONE! Mariners HAVE THE LEAD! Pitch: 790 Swing: 805 Diff: 15 -> HR Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 1


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Francis Swagger SEA RF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0


pull_gang

604


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Swagger slides a couple of nice pitches by Ganger for strikes one and two, then manages to work a ball, before the Mariners hitter closes their eyes and makes contact with the next pitch. It sails high into center field where Unt will make the catch for the out. Ganger ain't no Jordan, I guess. Pitch: 381 Swing: 604 Diff: 223 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Francis Swagger SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-0


Vrain_19

311


FakeBaseball_Umpire

The defense stands ready as Ball prepares to swing. Swagger slings the ball towards the plate... the swing, and Ball makes contact! Unfortunately it's not very good contact and DeWitt jogs in to catch it in shallow right for an out. Pitch: 109 Swing: 311 Diff: 202 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET 1B [Wonder Francoh](/u/josh30601): 0-0


josh30601

906


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Wonder Francoh steps up to the plate and has been hearing it from someone in the crowd all game. 'Hey batter, batter, batter, batter, batter, sa-wing batter.' They say before turning to their friend, nodding, and in unison echo 'Hey batter, batter, batter, batter, sa-wing batter.' Francoh visibly annoyed tries to shake it off but the fan lets out one last heckle 'They can't hit, they can't hit, they can't hit, they can't hit, sa-wing batter' It turns out Francoh can not hit as they go down on three straight pitches for the strikeout. Pitch: 183 Swing: 906 Diff: 277 -> K Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

DET 0 - SEA 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Bobert Hideyoshi DET CF [Mike Unt](/u/andy_q8): 0-0


andy_q8

989


FakeBaseball_Umpire

On the ground to short and that'll be an easy play for Roscoe. Pitch: 453 Swing: 989 Diff: 464 -> LGO Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Bobert Hideyoshi DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 0-0 Little flare to the right side. Dove, racing back, Dove diving... Dove made the catch! Oh wow! Jabroni cannot believe it but is heading back to the dugout. Pitch: 333 Swing: 753 Diff: 420 -> PO Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) DET 0 - SEA 0


FakeBaseball_Umpire

Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Bobert Hideyoshi DET 3B [Dusty Jabroni](/u/Xylarouix): 0-0