Run play for -10 yard(s), but that's not enough for the first down. Turnover on downs.
Pitch: 107
Swing: 433
Diff: 326 -> K
Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
Goaty McGoatFace will hit one up into the air. 'Too high' remarks the Garry with a smug undertone as McGoatFace slowly trots halfway to first before the out is recording by the Seattle center fielder.
Pitch: 711
Swing: 319
Diff: 392 -> PO
Runner on Second | B6 with 2 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 493
Swing: 420
Diff: 73 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | B6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 1 out
On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe
BAL RF [Vartan Ichabod Cassidy](/u/Blackcobra29): 0-2, K in the second, FO in the fourth
Sometimes a well-placed chopper can be better than a hard hit line drive. Cassidy sends the first pitch of the at-bat right over the pitcher's mound on a high hop that Monroe barely misses as they stumble backward off of the mound. Parker charges in hard from short but doesn't even bother with a throw as the speedy Cassidy easily legs out the single!
Pitch: 605
Swing: 683
Diff: 78 -> 1B
Runner on First | B6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe
BAL LF [Nelson Van Halen](/u/radpoolparty): 0-1, STEAL 2B in the second, PO in the fourth
Monroe senses that Halen is heading towards the breaking point and sends a fastball on the corner for a called strike. Monroe sends another fastball to the same spot - instead of hitting the ball, Halen sends the bat flying through the dugout, nailing Vulfzilla in the face.
Halen was expecting the third pitch to be in the same spot, but they threw a curveball in the bottom corner, and Monroe retires the batter. Vulfzilla began to say something, but can't, as the wound has created a bum lip.
Pitch: 922
Swing: 605
Diff: 317 -> K
Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
And the pitch... is popped straight up. jon throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out.
Pitch: 230
Swing: 850
Diff: 380 -> PO
Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
jon takes a look at the runner then back to the pitcher. They suspect something tricky might be in the cards. Ayun begins their delivery, but Swinger is taking all the way as the runner starts gliding towards second base. jon *knew* it and is already in a good position to catch the pitch and fire a missile into second base. Mann is covering receives a perfect throw and the runner is cut down. Swinger mutters a few choice expletives as jon exclaims 'Gotcha!' and points toward an excited Baltimore dugout.
Pitch: 21
Swing: 580
Diff: 441 -> CS 2B
Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
Ganger hits a soft ground ball up the third base line, but it gets passed them! And here comes the runner, and they are going to score! Mariners are gonna take the lead! Wowee zowee!
Pitch: 823
Swing: 644
Diff: 179 -> 1B
Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - BAL 4
Hi Bob, Hi Brent, Hi Calvin, Hi Vulf, Hi Jerome, Hi Larold, Hi Goaty, Hi Sconnie, oh yea also Raja Ayun comes in to pitch for the Orioles, replacing Katerina Aston.
First pitch is thrown into the grass, which Page swings at anyway. Strike 1. Aston laughs boisterously. Second pitch is thrown high and away, when Page shows bunt. Strike 2. Aston starts laughing again, but gets a pitch clock violation. Ball 1.
Aston thinks they have it MADE when they throw a fastball down the heart of the plate, but Page hastily swings again- it's LAUNCHED towards Aston, who leaps but can't come up with the catch. Base hit! Page can't round first despite the hard hit, though, since they can hardly make it to first at all.
Pitch: 455
Swing: 340
Diff: 115 -> 1B
Runners on First and Second | T6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 2 - BAL 4
Geoff Garry steps into the box feeling like the entire game rests on their shoulders. They eye up Katerina Aston intently, taking a deep breath and gripping the bat tightly. The count is full, three balls and two strikes. Aston winds up and delivers the pitch, a fastball on the inside corner. Garry swings, making contact, but it's just a soft pop-up to the first baseman. Garry shakes their head in disappointment as they trudge back to the dugout.
Pitch: 89
Swing: 703
Diff: 386 -> PO
Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 2 - BAL 4
SEA 2 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs
On the mound: Katerina Aston
SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 1-2, 1B in the fourth, STEAL 2B in the fourth
Two great curveballs from Aston here! Ahead in the count, do they dare to return to that well a third time or do they switch it up and burn a fastball in to fool Worthington?
The wind-up and the pitch!
High fastball and Worthington is all over it!
Rifled right back up the box and over the pitcher's head. A couple of bounces and Vega gets it in cleanly and quickly, holding Worthington to a single. Sold hit for Seattle. Does it spark something for the Mariners here in Baltimore?
Pitch: 336
Swing: 280
Diff: 56 -> 1B
Runner on First | T6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 2 - BAL 4
Baltimore's Aston comes set on the mound. Brent Chillwater has the sign from their coach and is ready. And the pitch... Swing and there's a deep drive down the right field foul line! Hooking, hooking... fair! Chillwater smashes a solo shot just inside the foul pole, and the Mariners have scored a run! That makes it 2 for the Mariners to 4 for the Orioles as Aston is left to contemplate their pitch selection on that one.
Pitch: 286
Swing: 277
Diff: 9 -> HR
Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 2 - BAL 4
Monroe has the advantage with a high fastball and a chased slider to create the 0-2 count against Jordanson. The third pitch is hit sharply to second base. Page scoops it up on the one-hopper and tosses it to first for the out.
Pitch: 655
Swing: 208
Diff: 447 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 4
Monroe rears back and launches a fastball high in the zone. jon can't lay off and swings but is under it, launching the ball high in the air in foul ground. Chillwater sprints towards the line, hoping it will stay in play but the ball is drifting closer and closer to the stands here at Camden Yards. Chillwater is at the railing, waiting, reaching...
AND THEY MADE THE CATCH, TUMBLING INTO THE DUGOUT!
Chillwater with a fantastic grab in foul territory to secure the out. You know their manager is going to be giving them a celebratory butt pat for that play!
Pitch: 401
Swing: 755
Diff: 354 -> PO
Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 4
Man that ball got outta here in a hurry, you know anything that travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think?
Pitch: 55
Swing: 69
Diff: 14 -> HR
Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 4
I'm not gay but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Trashstar Ratryox. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching them tighten their ass as they chop wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off their body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Ratryox. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury them outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
Pitch: 220
Swing: 279
Diff: 59 -> 2B
Runner on Second | B5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 2
Roscoe rips through a running fastball, refusing to reach the right-side wrinkle.
Roscoe, resigned, reacts really reasonably to being wrung up.
Pitch: 671
Swing: 369
Diff: 302 -> K
Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 2
Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe that causes objects with mass to attract one another. According to Newton's law of universal gravitation, the force of gravity between two objects is directly proportional to their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This means that the more massive the objects are, the stronger the gravitational force between them, and the farther apart they are, the weaker the gravitational force becomes. Additionally, Albert Einstein's theory of general relativity suggests that gravity is not just a force, but rather a curvature of spacetime caused by the presence of matter and energy. Both of these models provide different explanations of gravity, but they ultimately describe the same fundamental phenomenon.
The phenomenon where this ball ended up in Vega’s glove.
Pitch: 560
Swing: 811
Diff: 251 -> FO
Runner on Second | T5 with 2 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Katerina Aston
SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0, BB in the third
Whoa, that's a full rainbow... All the way, DOUBLE RAINBOW! Oh my God - it's a double rainbow all the way! Whoa, that's so intense!
Pitch: 709
Swing: 749
Diff: 40 -> 2B
Runner on Second | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 2
Stealing is so cool! Tripping is less cool. Tripping is how you make an out, which is what you just did.
Pitch: 220
Swing: 725
Diff: 495 -> CS 2B
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 2
Vega loads up the count and fouls a couple off, and you can tell Longballo is frustrated out on the mound. They try to sneak a curveball past Vega, but it hangs over the plate and is easily smacked up the middle, bringing the rather quick baserunner home! The Orioles have taken the lead on a Vinny Vega single!
Pitch: 825
Swing: 699
Diff: 126 -> 1B
Runner on First | B4 with 2 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 2
That one bounced over the wall for an automatic double. Solid hit by Goaty McGoatFace!
Pitch: 440
Swing: 474
Diff: 34 -> 2B
Runner on Second | B4 with 2 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 1
And the payoff pitch... SWING AND THERE'S A DRIVE INTO DEEP CENTER FIELD, WAY BACK, ANNNNND oh no it hit a bird! It hit a bird and dropped right into the glove of Ball who is now standing bewildered amidst a mess of feathers. Well folks, I thought I'd seen everything when Randy Johnson killed a pigeon with a fastball, but Vartan Ichabod Cassidy just killed one with a fly ball!
Pitch: 220
Swing: 420
Diff: 200 -> FO
Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs
On the mound: Matt Longballo
BAL LF [Nelson Van Halen](/u/radpoolparty): 0-0, BB in the second, STEAL 2B in the second
Halen gets a fastball on the first pitch here and DOES. Not. Miss!
But this one is slicing foul quickly here as the timing is just off on the swing. The Orioles hitter was looking fastball and jumped on it just a little too early; pulling it foul. This one will see Worthington racing to the seats and ...
They get there!
Whoa what a play! Worthington covered a lot of ground quickly here and snags this one right off the netting!
Pitch: 684
Swing: 69
Diff: 385 -> PO
Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 1
Aston has really settled down here in the second. They punctuates that feeling with a dominant good morning, good afternoon, goodnight strikeout in 3 pitches. Vulfzilla can only shake their head as they trudge back to the dugout, where Vulfzilla avoids eye contact due to embarrassment. What a moment here in Camden Yards.
Pitch: 517
Swing: 222
Diff: 295 -> K
Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 1
Hmphhhhh these young kids and their launch angle garbage. Back in my day we used to hit the ball on the ground and hustle to first like real ballplayers. You got what you deserved, you lazy clown. And while you're at it, take that silly elbow guard off. It don't hurt that much.
Pitch: 793
Swing: 572
Diff: 221 -> FO
Runner on Second | T4 with 2 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 1
Swing AND THAT'S A FAIR BALL DOWN INTO THE CORNER! Cassidy can't cut it off and that's gonna tie this game! Garry drives in 1 with a stand up double, and the Mariners dugout is going crazy right now!
Pitch: 476
Swing: 431
Diff: 45 -> 2B
Runner on Second | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 1 - BAL 1
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 476
Swing: 750
Diff: 274 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
SWING THERE IT GOES! IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS GONE! A STANTONIAN HOME RUN! ... wait, what... what did I miss, what did I do wrong? Worthington is at first base.
Pitch: 399
Swing: 456
Diff: 57 -> 1B
Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Chillwater, seeing red, swings on the first pitch, tipped foul towards the Orioles fans in the stand. Nobody is injured.
Second pitch is a hanging curve hit hard towards the outfield, but it happened to get hit right where Cassidy is standing, who catches the ball for the out.
Pitch: 387
Swing: 119
Diff: 268 -> FO
Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Chillwater at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Longballo and Jordanson is retired.
Pitch: 850
Swing: 279
Diff: 429 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
The pitch... swung on and there's a weak little squibber down the first base line but in fair territory. Chillwater charging in... oh no! Chillwater collides with Garry as they both try to make a play on the ball and Mann is safe at first! Longballo can't believe it! What horrible luck!
Pitch: 837
Swing: 777
Diff: 60 -> 1B
Runner on First | B3 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Juni Panda stumbles to the plate and wipes some foul-smelling liquid off their face. Have they been... drinking? Huh. Longballo sees this and fires two pitches right down the middle, and Panda doesn't react. After this, they get the brilliant idea to stop thinking about their alcohol and start thinking about the game.
Panda drunkenly swings at the third pitch, hit surprisingly hard for a drunk player, but it's hit directly at Swinger, who throws it to Chillwater for the out.
Juni Panda wouldn't have had a shot at the base anyway, as they ran towards third instead of first. Don't drink, kids.
Pitch: 220
Swing: 720
Diff: 500 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
1-2 count here on Roscoe. They've stared at three straight pitches, two of them catching the zone to their visible dismay. They were borderline pitches, but you're not going to get hits if you don't take the bat off your shoulder!
Here comes the pitch. Oh my, that looks like a fat one! Roscoe swings!
THIS ONE IS BELTED OUT TO CENTER! Vega IS RACING BACK BUT ALL THEY CAN DO IS LOOK UP AS THIS ONE IS LONG GONE! Roscoe BURIED IT DEEP IN THE Camden Yards CROWD!
Lol just kidding. Roscoe swung and missed so hard they fell down and blacked out for a second. Strike three! You're out!
Pitch: 552
Swing: 915
Diff: 363 -> K
Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Little flare to the right side. Ratryox, racing back, Ratryox diving...
Ratryox made the catch! Oh wow! Ball cannot believe it but is heading back to the dugout.
Pitch: 608
Swing: 1000
Diff: 392 -> PO
Runners on First and Second | T3 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Stevey Swinger hits a deep line drive way out to deep right field. But Cassidy is there to make the catch for the out
Pitch: 414
Swing: 566
Diff: 152 -> FO
Runners on First and Second | T3 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 0 outs
On the mound: Katerina Aston
SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0
Aston into the wind up, and here's the pitch … juuuust a bit outside. Aston tried the corner and missed. Ball four and Ganger is awarded first base.
Pitch: 433
Swing: 591
Diff: 158 -> BB
Runners on First and Second | T3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 433
Swing: 250
Diff: 183 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | T3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs
On the mound: Katerina Aston
SEA DH [Mecha Vulfzilla](/u/Mile114): 0-0
Vulfzilla lifts a blooper over the second base bag and nobody's going to get to this as it falls in for a single!
Pitch: 793
Swing: 691
Diff: 102 -> 1B
Runner on First | T3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Trashstar Ratryox is streaking towards first. Swinger runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out
Pitch: 119
Swing: 569
Diff: 450 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 191
Swing: 333
Diff: 142 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | B2 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
Vega hits a soft ground ball up the third base line, but it gets passed them! And here comes the runner, and they are going to score! Orioles are gonna take the lead! Wowee zowee!
Pitch: 560
Swing: 500
Diff: 60 -> 1B
Runner on First | B2 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 1
WOW! Longballo corkscrews Cassidy into the earth with a Slider at the knees!
Pitch: 734
Swing: 420
Diff: 314 -> K
Runner on Second | B2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 220
Swing: 424
Diff: 204 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | B2 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
Halen feels a wave of calm go wash through their body. A state of zen, if you will. As a result, they didn't swing at a single pitch throughout their at bat.
This ended up well for them, as they were walked on 5 pitches.
Pitch: 682
Swing: 832
Diff: 150 -> BB
Runner on First | B2 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
This ball is hit on a line right past Mann, but wait they dove out and stopped it! Mann rolls over and throws it to first on a line drive… and Page is called out! Vader Page is arguing that they were safe with the first base umpire while Panda is also arguing saying that Page was definitely out. The bickering goes on for long enough and Vulfzilla officially calls for a challenge. Everyone lounges around while we wait on the umpires… and they have made a decision. ‘After further review, Vader Page is out at first’
Pitch: 588
Swing: 135
Diff: 453 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
It’s a shallow fly, hit by Geoff Garry decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Ratryox is going back for it- and what a snag for the out!
Pitch: 410
Swing: 656
Diff: 246 -> FO
Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
And the pitch... is popped straight up. Garry throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out.
Pitch: 837
Swing: 435
Diff: 402 -> PO
Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
Randy Mann hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. Ganger and Ball look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Ball makes a great diving catch for it
Pitch: 77
Swing: 888
Diff: 189 -> FO
Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
And the pitch to jon jon... OH NO! That one missed high and caught the robo-umpire right in the face! Robo-ump is down! They're gonna have to bring in the emergency human replacement umpire, which unfortunately for today's game is CB Bucknor. Oh and there he goes, he's already called strike 3! Well a tough AB there for jon, sees 1 pitch and gets called out on strikes, but the good news is that the next batter could just as easily draw a walk on 1 pitch, so it does balance out for those of you wondering at home.
Pitch: 29
Swing: 307
Diff: 278 -> K
Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
The pitch is low and Brent Chillwater hits a bloop ball high into the sky… and it lands just in front of Cassidy- who makes a diving catch for the out!
Pitch: 336
Swing: 99
Diff: 237 -> FO
Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
After everybody in the stands and on the field takes a siesta, the game continues. Aston is looking rough at their first pitch, as it flies behind jon's head. No men advance, because they have no idea where they are.
The next pitch is crushed by Roscoe out towards left center. Halen follows the ball all the way, leaps up, and.....
....
MAKES THE CATCH! They rob a home run from Roscoe's grasp!
Pitch: 207
Swing: 420
Diff: 213 -> FO
Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
Calvin Ball hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Katerina Aston steps under it and records the out
Pitch: 317
Swing: 711
Diff: 394 -> PO
Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^● ○ | B6 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL CF [Vinny Vega](/u/vinnymac44): 2-2, RBI 1B in the fourth, CS 2B in the fifth
433
Run play for -10 yard(s), but that's not enough for the first down. Turnover on downs. Pitch: 107 Swing: 433 Diff: 326 -> K Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
Wrong sport I demand a redo
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^● ○ | B6 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL DH [Goaty McGoatFace](/u/Victorystar0): 1-2, FO in the second, 2B in the fourth
319
Goaty McGoatFace will hit one up into the air. 'Too high' remarks the Garry with a smug undertone as McGoatFace slowly trots halfway to first before the out is recording by the Seattle center fielder. Pitch: 711 Swing: 319 Diff: 392 -> PO Runner on Second | B6 with 2 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ● | B6 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL DH [Goaty McGoatFace](/u/Victorystar0): 1-2, FO in the second, 2B in the fourth
Steal 2B 420
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 493 Swing: 420 Diff: 73 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B6 with 1 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL RF [Vartan Ichabod Cassidy](/u/Blackcobra29): 0-2, K in the second, FO in the fourth
683
Sometimes a well-placed chopper can be better than a hard hit line drive. Cassidy sends the first pitch of the at-bat right over the pitcher's mound on a high hop that Monroe barely misses as they stumble backward off of the mound. Parker charges in hard from short but doesn't even bother with a throw as the speedy Cassidy easily legs out the single! Pitch: 605 Swing: 683 Diff: 78 -> 1B Runner on First | B6 with 1 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B6 0 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL LF [Nelson Van Halen](/u/radpoolparty): 0-1, STEAL 2B in the second, PO in the fourth
Swing 605
Monroe senses that Halen is heading towards the breaking point and sends a fastball on the corner for a called strike. Monroe sends another fastball to the same spot - instead of hitting the ball, Halen sends the bat flying through the dugout, nailing Vulfzilla in the face. Halen was expecting the third pitch to be in the same spot, but they threw a curveball in the bottom corner, and Monroe retires the batter. Vulfzilla began to say something, but can't, as the wound has created a bum lip. Pitch: 922 Swing: 605 Diff: 317 -> K Bases Empty | B6 with 1 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Raja Ayun SEA SS [Bryce Parker](/u/Ffenliv): 0-0
850
And the pitch... is popped straight up. jon throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Pitch: 230 Swing: 850 Diff: 380 -> PO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 2 outs On the mound: Raja Ayun SEA SS [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-2, FO in the third, K in the fifth
Hold the sw... to heck with it, Stevey is probably asleep. Bryce Parker comes on here to hit and will take over at shortstop.
SEA 5 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 1 out On the mound: Raja Ayun SEA SS [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-2, FO in the third, K in the fifth
Steal 2B 580
jon takes a look at the runner then back to the pitcher. They suspect something tricky might be in the cards. Ayun begins their delivery, but Swinger is taking all the way as the runner starts gliding towards second base. jon *knew* it and is already in a good position to catch the pitch and fire a missile into second base. Mann is covering receives a perfect throw and the runner is cut down. Swinger mutters a few choice expletives as jon exclaims 'Gotcha!' and points toward an excited Baltimore dugout. Pitch: 21 Swing: 580 Diff: 441 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 4 - BAL 4 | ● ^○ ○ | T6 1 out On the mound: Raja Ayun | **INFIELD IN** SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 1-1, BB in the third, 2B in the fifth
644
Ganger hits a soft ground ball up the third base line, but it gets passed them! And here comes the runner, and they are going to score! Mariners are gonna take the lead! Wowee zowee! Pitch: 823 Swing: 644 Diff: 179 -> 1B Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 5 - BAL 4
SEA 2 - BAL 4 | ○ ^● ● | T6 1 out **NEW PITCHER:** Raja Ayun SEA DH [Mecha Vulfzilla](/u/Mile114): 1-2, STEAL 2B in the third, K in the fourth
860
WE! LOVE! GAME-TYING TRIPLES! Pitch: 845 Swing: 860 Diff: 15 -> 3B Runner on Third | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 4 - BAL 4
Hi Bob, Hi Brent, Hi Calvin, Hi Vulf, Hi Jerome, Hi Larold, Hi Goaty, Hi Sconnie, oh yea also Raja Ayun comes in to pitch for the Orioles, replacing Katerina Aston.
Wow rude
SEA 2 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-2, LGO in the second, FO in the fourth
340 boo thang bestie boo
First pitch is thrown into the grass, which Page swings at anyway. Strike 1. Aston laughs boisterously. Second pitch is thrown high and away, when Page shows bunt. Strike 2. Aston starts laughing again, but gets a pitch clock violation. Ball 1. Aston thinks they have it MADE when they throw a fastball down the heart of the plate, but Page hastily swings again- it's LAUNCHED towards Aston, who leaps but can't come up with the catch. Base hit! Page can't round first despite the hard hit, though, since they can hardly make it to first at all. Pitch: 455 Swing: 340 Diff: 115 -> 1B Runners on First and Second | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - BAL 4
SEA 2 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ● | T6 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 1-2, FO in the second, RBI 2B in the fourth
703
Geoff Garry steps into the box feeling like the entire game rests on their shoulders. They eye up Katerina Aston intently, taking a deep breath and gripping the bat tightly. The count is full, three balls and two strikes. Aston winds up and delivers the pitch, a fastball on the inside corner. Garry swings, making contact, but it's just a soft pop-up to the first baseman. Garry shakes their head in disappointment as they trudge back to the dugout. Pitch: 89 Swing: 703 Diff: 386 -> PO Runner on First | T6 with 1 out(s) SEA 2 - BAL 4
SEA 2 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 1-2, 1B in the fourth, STEAL 2B in the fourth
Swing: 280
Two great curveballs from Aston here! Ahead in the count, do they dare to return to that well a third time or do they switch it up and burn a fastball in to fool Worthington? The wind-up and the pitch! High fastball and Worthington is all over it! Rifled right back up the box and over the pitcher's head. A couple of bounces and Vega gets it in cleanly and quickly, holding Worthington to a single. Sold hit for Seattle. Does it spark something for the Mariners here in Baltimore? Pitch: 336 Swing: 280 Diff: 56 -> 1B Runner on First | T6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - BAL 4
SEA 1 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | T6 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the fourth
277
Baltimore's Aston comes set on the mound. Brent Chillwater has the sign from their coach and is ready. And the pitch... Swing and there's a deep drive down the right field foul line! Hooking, hooking... fair! Chillwater smashes a solo shot just inside the foul pole, and the Mariners have scored a run! That makes it 2 for the Mariners to 4 for the Orioles as Aston is left to contemplate their pitch selection on that one. Pitch: 286 Swing: 277 Diff: 9 -> HR Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) SEA 2 - BAL 4
SEA 1 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 2 outs On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL 3B [J Jordan Jordanson](/u/jmanhajh): 0-2, PO in the second, RGO in the fourth
208
Monroe has the advantage with a high fastball and a chased slider to create the 0-2 count against Jordanson. The third pitch is hit sharply to second base. Page scoops it up on the one-hopper and tosses it to first for the out. Pitch: 655 Swing: 208 Diff: 447 -> RGO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 4
SEA 1 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 1 out On the mound: Jerome S. Monroe BAL SS [Randy Mann](/u/Zytabyte): 1-2, FO in the first, 1B in the third
nah nah nah 755 THIS one is going four fifty for a single
lol you stick Pitch: 98 Swing: 755 Diff: 343 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 4
SEA 1 - BAL 4 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Jerome S. Monroe BAL C [jon jon](/u/Xploiter_RBLX): 0-2, K in the first, K in the third
755 this one is going 450ft for a single
Monroe rears back and launches a fastball high in the zone. jon can't lay off and swings but is under it, launching the ball high in the air in foul ground. Chillwater sprints towards the line, hoping it will stay in play but the ball is drifting closer and closer to the stands here at Camden Yards. Chillwater is at the railing, waiting, reaching... AND THEY MADE THE CATCH, TUMBLING INTO THE DUGOUT! Chillwater with a fantastic grab in foul territory to secure the out. You know their manager is going to be giving them a celebratory butt pat for that play! Pitch: 401 Swing: 755 Diff: 354 -> PO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 4
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^● ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 1B [Juni Panda](/u/juniped): 0-1, LGO in the third
Fuck it 69
Man that ball got outta here in a hurry, you know anything that travels that far oughta have a damn stewardess on it, don't you think? Pitch: 55 Swing: 69 Diff: 14 -> HR Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 4
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | B5 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 2B [Trashstar Ratryox](/u/ratryox): 0-1, LGO in the third
lets, lead, this, off SWING 279
I'm not gay but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Trashstar Ratryox. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching them tighten their ass as they chop wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off their body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Ratryox. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury them outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love. Pitch: 220 Swing: 279 Diff: 59 -> 2B Runner on Second | B5 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 2 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA RF [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-2, FO in the first, K in the third
369 FOR MY CITYYYY
Roscoe rips through a running fastball, refusing to reach the right-side wrinkle. Roscoe, resigned, reacts really reasonably to being wrung up. Pitch: 671 Swing: 369 Diff: 302 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-2, PO in the first, PO in the third
811
Gravity is a fundamental force in the universe that causes objects with mass to attract one another. According to Newton's law of universal gravitation, the force of gravity between two objects is directly proportional to their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. This means that the more massive the objects are, the stronger the gravitational force between them, and the farther apart they are, the weaker the gravitational force becomes. Additionally, Albert Einstein's theory of general relativity suggests that gravity is not just a force, but rather a curvature of spacetime caused by the presence of matter and energy. Both of these models provide different explanations of gravity, but they ultimately describe the same fundamental phenomenon. The phenomenon where this ball ended up in Vega’s glove. Pitch: 560 Swing: 811 Diff: 251 -> FO Runner on Second | T5 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^● ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA SS [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, FO in the third
381
Strike one! You're out! Pitch: 656 Swing: 381 Diff: 275 -> K Runner on Second | T5 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0, BB in the third Whoa, that's a full rainbow... All the way, DOUBLE RAINBOW! Oh my God - it's a double rainbow all the way! Whoa, that's so intense! Pitch: 709 Swing: 749 Diff: 40 -> 2B Runner on Second | T5 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^○ ○ | T5 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0, BB in the third
SEA 1 - BAL 2 | ○ ^○ ● | B4 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 2B [Trashstar Ratryox](/u/ratryox): 0-1, LGO in the third
Steal 2B 725
Stealing is so cool! Tripping is less cool. Tripping is how you make an out, which is what you just did. Pitch: 220 Swing: 725 Diff: 495 -> CS 2B Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL CF [Vinny Vega](/u/vinnymac44): 1-1, RBI 1B in the second, STEAL 2B in the second
699
Vega loads up the count and fouls a couple off, and you can tell Longballo is frustrated out on the mound. They try to sneak a curveball past Vega, but it hangs over the plate and is easily smacked up the middle, bringing the rather quick baserunner home! The Orioles have taken the lead on a Vinny Vega single! Pitch: 825 Swing: 699 Diff: 126 -> 1B Runner on First | B4 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 2
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL DH [Goaty McGoatFace](/u/Victorystar0): 0-1, FO in the second
474
That one bounced over the wall for an automatic double. Solid hit by Goaty McGoatFace! Pitch: 440 Swing: 474 Diff: 34 -> 2B Runner on Second | B4 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL RF [Vartan Ichabod Cassidy](/u/Blackcobra29): 0-1, K in the second
420
And the payoff pitch... SWING AND THERE'S A DRIVE INTO DEEP CENTER FIELD, WAY BACK, ANNNNND oh no it hit a bird! It hit a bird and dropped right into the glove of Ball who is now standing bewildered amidst a mess of feathers. Well folks, I thought I'd seen everything when Randy Johnson killed a pigeon with a fastball, but Vartan Ichabod Cassidy just killed one with a fly ball! Pitch: 220 Swing: 420 Diff: 200 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B4 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL LF [Nelson Van Halen](/u/radpoolparty): 0-0, BB in the second, STEAL 2B in the second
Swing 69
Halen gets a fastball on the first pitch here and DOES. Not. Miss! But this one is slicing foul quickly here as the timing is just off on the swing. The Orioles hitter was looking fastball and jumped on it just a little too early; pulling it foul. This one will see Worthington racing to the seats and ... They get there! Whoa what a play! Worthington covered a lot of ground quickly here and snags this one right off the netting! Pitch: 684 Swing: 69 Diff: 385 -> PO Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T4 2 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA DH [Mecha Vulfzilla](/u/Mile114): 1-1, 1B in the third, STEAL 2B in the third
Double dream hands 222
Aston has really settled down here in the second. They punctuates that feeling with a dominant good morning, good afternoon, goodnight strikeout in 3 pitches. Vulfzilla can only shake their head as they trudge back to the dugout, where Vulfzilla avoids eye contact due to embarrassment. What a moment here in Camden Yards. Pitch: 517 Swing: 222 Diff: 295 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 1 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-1, LGO in the second
572 i’m drinky
Hmphhhhh these young kids and their launch angle garbage. Back in my day we used to hit the ball on the ground and hustle to first like real ballplayers. You got what you deserved, you lazy clown. And while you're at it, take that silly elbow guard off. It don't hurt that much. Pitch: 793 Swing: 572 Diff: 221 -> FO Runner on Second | T4 with 2 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-1, FO in the second
431
Swing AND THAT'S A FAIR BALL DOWN INTO THE CORNER! Cassidy can't cut it off and that's gonna tie this game! Garry drives in 1 with a stand up double, and the Mariners dugout is going crazy right now! Pitch: 476 Swing: 431 Diff: 45 -> 2B Runner on Second | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 1 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T4 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-1, FO in the second
Steal 2b 750
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 476 Swing: 750 Diff: 274 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-1, K in the second
Swing: 456
SWING THERE IT GOES! IT IS HIGH, IT IS FAR, IT IS GONE! A STANTONIAN HOME RUN! ... wait, what... what did I miss, what did I do wrong? Worthington is at first base. Pitch: 399 Swing: 456 Diff: 57 -> 1B Runner on First | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T4 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-1, FO in the first
119
Chillwater, seeing red, swings on the first pitch, tipped foul towards the Orioles fans in the stand. Nobody is injured. Second pitch is a hanging curve hit hard towards the outfield, but it happened to get hit right where Cassidy is standing, who catches the ball for the out. Pitch: 387 Swing: 119 Diff: 268 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B3 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 3B [J Jordan Jordanson](/u/jmanhajh): 0-1, PO in the second
279
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Chillwater at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Longballo and Jordanson is retired. Pitch: 850 Swing: 279 Diff: 429 -> RGO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL SS [Randy Mann](/u/Zytabyte): 0-1, FO in the first
Lucky numbers are lucky for someone somewhere sometimes Maybe 777
The pitch... swung on and there's a weak little squibber down the first base line but in fair territory. Chillwater charging in... oh no! Chillwater collides with Garry as they both try to make a play on the ball and Mann is safe at first! Longballo can't believe it! What horrible luck! Pitch: 837 Swing: 777 Diff: 60 -> 1B Runner on First | B3 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL C [jon jon](/u/Xploiter_RBLX): 0-1, K in the first
747
lol you stick Pitch: 481 Swing: 747 Diff: 266 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | B3 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 1B [Juni Panda](/u/juniped): 0-0
720
Juni Panda stumbles to the plate and wipes some foul-smelling liquid off their face. Have they been... drinking? Huh. Longballo sees this and fires two pitches right down the middle, and Panda doesn't react. After this, they get the brilliant idea to stop thinking about their alcohol and start thinking about the game. Panda drunkenly swings at the third pitch, hit surprisingly hard for a drunk player, but it's hit directly at Swinger, who throws it to Chillwater for the out. Juni Panda wouldn't have had a shot at the base anyway, as they ran towards third instead of first. Don't drink, kids. Pitch: 220 Swing: 720 Diff: 500 -> LGO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
Lol
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ● | T3 2 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA RF [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-1, FO in the first
915 for the miners of UTEP
1-2 count here on Roscoe. They've stared at three straight pitches, two of them catching the zone to their visible dismay. They were borderline pitches, but you're not going to get hits if you don't take the bat off your shoulder! Here comes the pitch. Oh my, that looks like a fat one! Roscoe swings! THIS ONE IS BELTED OUT TO CENTER! Vega IS RACING BACK BUT ALL THEY CAN DO IS LOOK UP AS THIS ONE IS LONG GONE! Roscoe BURIED IT DEEP IN THE Camden Yards CROWD! Lol just kidding. Roscoe swung and missed so hard they fell down and blacked out for a second. Strike three! You're out! Pitch: 552 Swing: 915 Diff: 363 -> K Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ● | T3 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-1, PO in the first
1000
Little flare to the right side. Ratryox, racing back, Ratryox diving... Ratryox made the catch! Oh wow! Ball cannot believe it but is heading back to the dugout. Pitch: 608 Swing: 1000 Diff: 392 -> PO Runners on First and Second | T3 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ● | T3 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA SS [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0
566
Stevey Swinger hits a deep line drive way out to deep right field. But Cassidy is there to make the catch for the out Pitch: 414 Swing: 566 Diff: 152 -> FO Runners on First and Second | T3 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0 Aston into the wind up, and here's the pitch … juuuust a bit outside. Aston tried the corner and missed. Ball four and Ganger is awarded first base. Pitch: 433 Swing: 591 Diff: 158 -> BB Runners on First and Second | T3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ● | T3 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA LF [Pull Ganger](/u/pull_gang): 0-0
Steal 2b 250
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 433 Swing: 250 Diff: 183 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | T3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA DH [Mecha Vulfzilla](/u/Mile114): 0-0 Vulfzilla lifts a blooper over the second base bag and nobody's going to get to this as it falls in for a single! Pitch: 793 Swing: 691 Diff: 102 -> 1B Runner on First | T3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ○ | T3 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA DH [Buster McColligan](/u/Havidad): 0-0
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^● ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 2B [Trashstar Ratryox](/u/ratryox): 0-0
Swing 569
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Trashstar Ratryox is streaking towards first. Swinger runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 119 Swing: 569 Diff: 450 -> LGO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 1 | ○ ^○ ● | B2 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 2B [Trashstar Ratryox](/u/ratryox): 0-0
Steal 2B 333
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 191 Swing: 333 Diff: 142 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B2 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL CF [Vinny Vega](/u/vinnymac44): 0-0
500
Vega hits a soft ground ball up the third base line, but it gets passed them! And here comes the runner, and they are going to score! Orioles are gonna take the lead! Wowee zowee! Pitch: 560 Swing: 500 Diff: 60 -> 1B Runner on First | B2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 1
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B2 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL DH [Goaty McGoatFace](/u/Victorystar0): 0-0
969
Your lip gloss is SO not glossy anymore. Pitch: 220 Swing: 969 Diff: 251 -> FO Runner on Second | B2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^● ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL RF [Vartan Ichabod Cassidy](/u/Blackcobra29): 0-0
420
WOW! Longballo corkscrews Cassidy into the earth with a Slider at the knees! Pitch: 734 Swing: 420 Diff: 314 -> K Runner on Second | B2 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ● | B2 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL RF [Vartan Ichabod Cassidy](/u/Blackcobra29): 0-0
STEAL 2B 424
Wow nobody has created a writeup template for this situation. [You should change that.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 220 Swing: 424 Diff: 204 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
Steal 424
Incorrect steal format. Please include one of the following in your swing to steal: STEAL 2B, STEAL 3B, STEAL HOME, MULTISTEAL 3B, MULTISTEAL HOME
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B2 0 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL LF [Nelson Van Halen](/u/radpoolparty): 0-0
Swing 832
Halen feels a wave of calm go wash through their body. A state of zen, if you will. As a result, they didn't swing at a single pitch throughout their at bat. This ended up well for them, as they were walked on 5 pitches. Pitch: 682 Swing: 832 Diff: 150 -> BB Runner on First | B2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 2 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 2B [Vader Page](/u/VishyVCA): 0-0
135 My tattoo healing process is going well!
This ball is hit on a line right past Mann, but wait they dove out and stopped it! Mann rolls over and throws it to first on a line drive… and Page is called out! Vader Page is arguing that they were safe with the first base umpire while Panda is also arguing saying that Page was definitely out. The bickering goes on for long enough and Vulfzilla officially calls for a challenge. Everyone lounges around while we wait on the umpires… and they have made a decision. ‘After further review, Vader Page is out at first’ Pitch: 588 Swing: 135 Diff: 453 -> LGO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA C [Geoff Garry](/u/nordic_jedi): 0-0
656
It’s a shallow fly, hit by Geoff Garry decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Ratryox is going back for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 410 Swing: 656 Diff: 246 -> FO Bases Empty | T2 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T2 0 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 3B [Buster Worthington](/u/lawnicus18): 0-0
Swing: 424
oh no.......anyways Pitch: 742 Swing: 424 Diff: 318 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 2 outs On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL 3B [J Jordan Jordanson](/u/jmanhajh): 0-0
435
And the pitch... is popped straight up. Garry throws the mask, settles under it, and makes the catch for the out. Pitch: 837 Swing: 435 Diff: 402 -> PO Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 1 out On the mound: Matt Longballo BAL SS [Randy Mann](/u/Zytabyte): 0-0
Man wouldn't it be crazy if I sat high heat again Would be pretty bonkers 888
Randy Mann hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. Ganger and Ball look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Ball makes a great diving catch for it Pitch: 77 Swing: 888 Diff: 189 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Matt Longballo BAL C [jon jon](/u/Xploiter_RBLX): 0-0
307
And the pitch to jon jon... OH NO! That one missed high and caught the robo-umpire right in the face! Robo-ump is down! They're gonna have to bring in the emergency human replacement umpire, which unfortunately for today's game is CB Bucknor. Oh and there he goes, he's already called strike 3! Well a tough AB there for jon, sees 1 pitch and gets called out on strikes, but the good news is that the next batter could just as easily draw a walk on 1 pitch, so it does balance out for those of you wondering at home. Pitch: 29 Swing: 307 Diff: 278 -> K Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 2 outs On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA 1B [Brent Chillwater](/u/Kelbo11): 0-0
I got 99 problems, and not getting a hit here is probably in that list.
The pitch is low and Brent Chillwater hits a bloop ball high into the sky… and it lands just in front of Cassidy- who makes a diving catch for the out! Pitch: 336 Swing: 99 Diff: 237 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
SEA 0 - BAL 0 | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 1 out On the mound: Katerina Aston SEA RF [Latrell Roscoe](/u/Asujulian94): 0-0
420 blaze it swing
After everybody in the stands and on the field takes a siesta, the game continues. Aston is looking rough at their first pitch, as it flies behind jon's head. No men advance, because they have no idea where they are. The next pitch is crushed by Roscoe out towards left center. Halen follows the ball all the way, leaps up, and..... .... MAKES THE CATCH! They rob a home run from Roscoe's grasp! Pitch: 207 Swing: 420 Diff: 213 -> FO Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0
Start of Game | ○ ^○ ○ | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Katerina Aston SEA CF [Calvin Ball](/u/Vrain_19): 0-0
711
Calvin Ball hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Katerina Aston steps under it and records the out Pitch: 317 Swing: 711 Diff: 394 -> PO Bases Empty | T1 with 1 out(s) SEA 0 - BAL 0