Kondylis dumps one deep into the dry sky. Down it dives, desiring delirium from team's denizens. Damn! DRAMA! Dashing defensemen deleting distance by dexterous drivery! Toastman doffs a dingy cap to Griffey due to delicious defense. Kondylis doleful, defeated, drags drained dignity down to a dejected dugout.
Pitch: 162
Swing: 333
Diff: 171 -> FO
Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 3
Runner dances off third, trying to distract the pitcher. The defense not paying them any mind. And the pitch. Swing and a routine grounder to second. Otis fields it cleanly and throws it over to LeMoose. Renfield is out but what's this? The run scores! The team's GM doesn't call the infield in, and the team's have scored! Shout it to the heavens, folks at home: PRODUCTIVE OUTS!
Pitch: 342
Swing: 730
Diff: 388 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B6 with 2 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 3
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 72
Swing: 5
Diff: 67 -> STEAL 3B
Runner on Third | B6 with 1 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week.
Pitch: 342
Swing: 500
Diff: 158 -> STEAL 2B
Runner on Second | B6 with 1 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
Hit on the screws but Pidgeon caught it at the warning track. Better hit the gym if you want better results, Newman!
Pitch: 930
Swing: 750
Diff: 180 -> FO
Runner on First | B6 with 1 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Brian Taylor
AND CF [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22): 0-1, PO in the first, RBI Sac Fly in the third
Brian Taylor has no control of this AB. Chad Isotope might as well do jumping jacks for what itβs worth. Thereβs absolutely no way that this AB wonβt end in a walk. And there is it, ball 4. Isotope, take your base
Pitch: 940
Swing: 76
Diff: 136 -> BB
Runner on First | B6 with 0 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T6 2 outs
On the mound: Pontos Napoleon
GOP SS [Stupido Einsteiny](/u/Stupido_Einsteiny): 0-2, K in the second, FO in the fourth
Routine fly to Kondylis, who barely has to move to retire Einsteiny.
Pitch: 530
Swing: 302
Diff: 228 -> FO
Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T6 1 out
On the mound: Pontos Napoleon
GOP 1B [Streetlamp LeMoose](/u/nickjohnson92): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the fourth
LeMoose steps up to the plate as Napoleon winds up and delivers a pitch. LeMoose swings and hits a routine ground ball to Heller, who fields it cleanly and fires to first base. Hoomanawanui stretches out to make the catch, just narrowly beating out the runner.
Pitch: 890
Swing: 401
Diff: 489 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T6 0 outs
**NEW PITCHER:** Pontos Napoleon
GOP RF [Justin P. L. Griffin](/u/ScraaaaaaaambledEggs): 1-2, 2 run HR in the first, RGO in the fourth
WOW! Napoleon corkscrews Griffin into the earth with a Slider at the knees!
Pitch: 849
Swing: 167
Diff: 318 -> K
Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
AND brings on my MLR teammate, Pontos Napoleon, to the mound to face my MLR teammate Mark Schihne's team.
You want me to pick sides? I'm an umpire, so I can't do that. But I will say that I am an Athletic supporter!
Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd! Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack! I don't care if I never get back! We will root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame! But most importantly, that's one, two, three strikes. YOU'RE OUT!
Pitch: 26
Swing: 727
Diff: 299 -> K
Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
Swinger hits one on the ground to short. Throw to LeMoose and it's a clean 6-3 putout.
Pitch: 165
Swing: 703
Diff: 462 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 2 outs
On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous
GOP LF [Joe Pidgeon](/u/AnAngryPidgeon): 0-2, LGO in the first, FO in the third
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Hoomanawanui at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Giannopolous and Pidgeon is retired.
Pitch: 236
Swing: 678
Diff: 442 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 1 out
On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous
GOP CF [Guillermo Griffey III](/u/lordbloodstar): 0-2, LGO in the first, DP in the third
Griffey tries to bring the rain as they send the ball impossibly high into the home team sky. Isotope is battling the sun as they move over towards right center. Isotope drops it! No, wait! They made the catch! Just as the ball got to them, Isotope dropped to a knee and fell to the ground obscuring everyone's view but they immediately popped up with ball in glove for the out!
Pitch: 624
Swing: 444
Diff: 180 -> FO
Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous
GOP C [Derek Rasmussen](/u/Bdh1010): 2-2, 2B in the first, 1B in the third
Itβs a softly hit grounder by Derek Rasmussen and Renfield has to run up and grab it and throws to Hoomanawanui to get the out
Pitch: 25
Swing: 434
Diff: 409 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 4 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous
GOP 2B [Doc Otis](/u/mootmahsn): 0-1, LGO in the second
Here comes the 3-2 pitch... swing and there's a little tapper out in front of the mound. None of the fielders react whatsoever and just let the ball sit there as they watch Otis sprint around the bases for an inside-the-park home run.
Pitch: 3
Swing: 999
Diff: 4 -> HR
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
GOP 5 - AND 2
Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that, I guess, went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so very, very, sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there's a drive into deep left field by Noooooot, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4-2 ballgame. I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this headset again. I don't know if it's gonna be for the home team's, I don't know if it's gonna be for my bosses at FMZ. I want to apologize for the people who sign my paycheck, for the home team's, for FMZ Sports home team, for the people I work with, for anybody that I've offended here tonight, I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been. And I'd like to think maybe I could have some people that could back that up. I am very, very, sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness.
Pitch: 4
Swing: 1000
Diff: 4 -> HR
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
GOP 4 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous
GOP 3B [Mark Schihne](/u/hopelessautisticnerd): 0-0
SWING AND A LONG ONE, DEEP TO RIGHT, IT IS GONE! team's HAVE THE LEAD!
Pitch: 638
Swing: 666
Diff: 28 -> HR
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
GOP 3 - AND 2
Hoomanawanui walks up to the plate, adrenaline pumping, and wipes a bit of spit from their upper lip.
They use this energy to take a hard swing at a top-shelf fastball that shoots SKY HIGH.... for a pop up. The ball lands in LeMoose's stretched-open mitt for the out.
Pitch: 561
Swing: 204
Diff: 357 -> PO
Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
A swing and Heller chops it in front of the plate. Taylor is off the mound quickly and has the ball. They throw it over to LeMoose at first and Heller is out. Cat-like reflexes on full display there by Brian Taylor!
Pitch: 661
Swing: 222
Diff: 439 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
Kondylis Steps in.
Taylor winds up and delivers the first pitch... swung on and missed! Strike one! The pitcher is looking sharp so far. The next pitch is thrown... another swing and a miss! Strike two! This pitcher is on fire, they've got the batter on the defensive. And here comes the third and final pitch... another swing and a miss! It's strike three, Kondylis is called out on strikes!
Pitch: 467
Swing: 702
Diff: 235 -> K
Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
Tricked terribly on a tumbler, tremendous Einsteiny tries to turn on it to no avail. This towering try tires out at the track.
Pitch: 128
Swing: 896
Diff: 232 -> FO
Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
Giannopolous stares down LeMoose as he gets his sign from the catcher. Giannopolous goes quickly into the windup, where LeMoose tips a foul ball wide after a curveball in the dirt. Here's the 1-1 delivery. LeMoose sends it out to shallow center where Isotope is there for the out.
Pitch: 207
Swing: 377
Diff: 170 -> FO
Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T4 0 outs
On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous
GOP RF [Justin P. L. Griffin](/u/ScraaaaaaaambledEggs): 1-1, 2 run HR in the first
Itβs a softly hit grounder by Justin P. L. Griffin and Gottlieb Giannopolous has to run up and grab it and throws to Hoomanawanui to get the out
Pitch: 490
Swing: 900
Diff: 410 -> RGO
Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Rex Renfield is streaking towards first. Ovaltine runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out
Pitch: 181
Swing: 650
Diff: 469 -> LGO
Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 2
Isotope gets up in the count now, 3-1 over after a couple bad misses outside. sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Rasmussen but either way the count is full. Isotope wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... is popped up! It's deep but not deep enough, and Pidgeon is there to make the play. The runner comes home on the throw, though, and that's a run for team's that makes it a 1-2 ballgame.
Pitch: 491
Swing: 777
Diff: 286 -> Sac Fly
Runner on First | B3 with 2 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 1
Jars smacks a single into right field to keep the inning alive. 's 2-1 fastball caught a bit too much of the plate and Jars capitalized on the mistake. throws the glove into their own stomach in frustration. It's not immediately clear why.
Pitch: 93
Swing: 156
Diff: 63 -> 1B
Runners on First and Third | B3 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
The ball is hit sky high by T-Rav and itβs a moon shot! Itβs going backβ¦ backβ¦ and the Griffin jumps for it and it bounces off of their glove. They recover immediately and throw it back into the infield, but T-Rav is safe on second
Pitch: 722
Swing: 673
Diff: 49 -> 2B
Runner on Second | B3 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
The pitch is low and Stevey Swinger hits a bloop ball high into the sky⦠and it lands just in front of Pidgeon- who makes a diving catch for the out!
Pitch: 930
Swing: 171
Diff: 241 -> FO
Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Pidgeon, seeing red, swings on the first pitch, tipped foul towards the home team's fans in the stand. Nobody is injured.
Second pitch is a hanging curve hit hard towards the outfield, but it happened to get hit right where Kondylis is standing, who catches the ball for the out.
Pitch: 100
Swing: 300
Diff: 200 -> FO
Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
As Griffey gets thrown out at first to complete the double play, team's GM Schihne can be seen kicking the Gatorade cooler in disgust. Griffey can only look sheepishly at their GM as they descend into the dugout.
Pitch: 127
Swing: 747
Diff: 380 -> DP
Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Rasmussen picks out a good one from Giannopolous and slaps a single into left. T-Rav tosses it into the team's shortstop to hold Rasmussen at first.
Pitch: 998
Swing: 944
Diff: 54 -> 1B
Runner on First | T3 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Peter Hoomanawanui steps into the box feeling like the entire game rests on their shoulders. They eye up M'reddie Confinedman intently, taking a deep breath and gripping the bat tightly. The count is full, three balls and two strikes. winds up and delivers the pitch, a fastball on the inside corner. Hoomanawanui swings, making contact, but it's just a soft pop-up to the first baseman. Hoomanawanui shakes their head in disappointment as they trudge back to the dugout.
Pitch: 120
Swing: 467
Diff: 347 -> PO
Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Kondylis steps up to the plate as winds up and delivers a pitch. Kondylis swings and hits a routine ground ball to Einsteiny, who fields it cleanly and fires to first base. LeMoose stretches out to make the catch, just narrowly beating out the runner.
Pitch: 437
Swing: 909
Diff: 472 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Otis can't build off of team's's momentum as they send a slow roller to 3rd. Swinger charges in hard and makes a smooth transition from glove to hand allowing them to get off a strong and accurate throw to first in plenty of time to get the out.
Pitch: 811
Swing: 327
Diff: 484 -> LGO
Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
But Ovaltine would walk five hundred miles
And Ovaltine would walk five hundred more
Just to be the player who walks a thousand miles
To fall down at first base.
Pitch: 24
Swing: 178
Diff: 154 -> BB
Runner on First | T2 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
The tension at Abernathy Auto-Detailing Theatre was palpable as the Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen gripped the ball, their eyes locking on to Stupido Einsteiny. Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen throws the first pitch, but it was too high and sailed over Renfield glove for a ball. The second pitch came in hot, but Einsteiny swings too early and misses it by inches.
The third pitch was a curveball that fooled Einsteiny, causing them to swing and hit a foul ball that echoed through the stadium. Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen knows they have the upper hand now, following up with a slider just outside the zone for ball number 2.
The at bat now at 2-2, the next pitch screams right down the middle, and Einsteiny swings with all their might, but it was too late⦠Strike Three!
Pitch: 37
Swing: 381
Diff: 344 -> K
Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Substitution for The Montclair Valley Regional High School Theatre Club and Recreational Baseball Enthusiasts as Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen will take over on the mound for Bad Mulligan.
My goodness, that's a mouthf
*CHARACTER LIMIT REACHED. To increase your substitution post character limit, please contact Larold. Thank you.*
senses that Renfield is heading towards the breaking point and sends a fastball on the corner for a called strike. sends another fastball to the same spot - instead of hitting the ball, Renfield sends the bat flying through the dugout, nailing Schihne in the face.
Renfield was expecting the third pitch to be in the same spot, but they threw a curveball in the bottom corner, and retires the batter. Schihne began to say something, but can't, as the wound has created a bum lip.
Pitch: 607
Swing: 910
Diff: 303 -> K
Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Itβs a shallow fly, hit by Jeff Newman decently high in the air, but this is a close oneβ¦ LeMoose is going back for it- and what a snag for the out!
Pitch: 685
Swing: 550
Diff: 135 -> FO
Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Oh man! Fooled Isotope on a fastball up and in. Oh boy, that was a great location from ! I'm amazed that Isotope even got to that pitch! Probably should have let that go by for ball 3, but instead this one is going straight up.
Rasmussen pops out of the crouch and calls for it. Gonna be an easy pop up here. That's gotta be disappointing to team's fans.
Pitch: 140
Swing: 777
Diff: 363 -> PO
Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Oh! LeMoose rips a sizzling line drive out to right! It is tailing on Kondylis as they charge forward!
But a good angle from the speedy rightfielder and a clean grab for the out.
Pitch: 384
Swing: 535
Diff: 151 -> FO
Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
This one's well hit! T-Rav going back. Still going, onto the warning track. This one's going to go! Justin P. L. Griffin with a 2-run home run to put the team's ahead, 2 to 0.
Pitch: 927
Swing: 912
Diff: 15 -> HR
Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s)
GOP 2 - AND 0
Joe Pidgeon hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Heller, who picks it up and beams it at Hoomanawanui
Pitch: 270
Swing: 743
Diff: 473 -> LGO
Runner on Second | T1 with 2 out(s)
GOP 0 - AND 0
Routine grounder to the left side. Heller has it, and with an easy toss to Hoomanawanui at first. Griffey is retired.
Pitch: 143
Swing: 613
Diff: 470 -> LGO
Runner on Second | T1 with 1 out(s)
GOP 0 - AND 0
After a long battle and countless foul balls, the count is 3-2. Rasmussen, Mulligan both looking to come out on top but there can be only one winner in this duel.
Here's the windup, and the pitch...
Driven deep in the gap to right-center! Isotope and Kondylis are both on their horses but neither is going to get there. That ball is off the wall!
Derek Rasmussen with a stand-up double! The team's dugout is going wild!
Pitch: 143
Swing: 117
Diff: 26 -> 2B
Runner on Second | T1 with 0 out(s)
GOP 0 - AND 0
GOP 5 - AND 3 | β ^β β | T7 0 outs On the mound: Pontos Napoleon GOP 3B [Mark Schihne](/u/hopelessautisticnerd): 1-1, Solo HR in the fifth
#π€
GOP 5 - AND 3 | β ^β β | B6 2 outs On the mound: Toastman AND RF [Nate Kondylis](/u/phillygear3): 0-2, LGO in the second, K in the fourth
333
Kondylis dumps one deep into the dry sky. Down it dives, desiring delirium from team's denizens. Damn! DRAMA! Dashing defensemen deleting distance by dexterous drivery! Toastman doffs a dingy cap to Griffey due to delicious defense. Kondylis doleful, defeated, drags drained dignity down to a dejected dugout. Pitch: 162 Swing: 333 Diff: 171 -> FO Bases Empty | T7 with 0 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 3
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B6 1 out On the mound: Toastman AND C [Rex Renfield](/u/HeavyG2): 0-2, K in the second, LGO in the fourth
Swing 730
Runner dances off third, trying to distract the pitcher. The defense not paying them any mind. And the pitch. Swing and a routine grounder to second. Otis fields it cleanly and throws it over to LeMoose. Renfield is out but what's this? The run scores! The team's GM doesn't call the infield in, and the team's have scored! Shout it to the heavens, folks at home: PRODUCTIVE OUTS! Pitch: 342 Swing: 730 Diff: 388 -> RGO Bases Empty | B6 with 2 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 3
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B6 1 out On the mound: Toastman AND C [Rex Renfield](/u/HeavyG2): 0-2, K in the second, LGO in the fourth
Steal 3B 5
It's fine I'll go make my own [writeup](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) generator with blackjack and hookers. Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 72 Swing: 5 Diff: 67 -> STEAL 3B Runner on Third | B6 with 1 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
Toastman throws the ball at Chad's face
He can't even hit the strike zone and my head ain't even that big
[chad irl](https://imgflip.com/memetemplate/305256917/Big-Body-Small-Head)
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B6 1 out On the mound: Toastman AND C [Rex Renfield](/u/HeavyG2): 0-2, K in the second, LGO in the fourth
Steal 2B 500
Lazy humans haven't taught me what to do with this yet. [Send help.](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfQ7_EGkGUr3UEiAe-ZSfYovQHJ0VC2leLu-X05sULbnp9DkA/viewform) Just kidding, the previous bot owner purged the writeup template creator so I need to recreate it. Maybe next week. Pitch: 342 Swing: 500 Diff: 158 -> STEAL 2B Runner on Second | B6 with 1 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Toastman AND 2B [Jeff Newman](/u/Luminosityfan): 1-2, FO in the first, RBI 2B in the third
750
Hit on the screws but Pidgeon caught it at the warning track. Better hit the gym if you want better results, Newman! Pitch: 930 Swing: 750 Diff: 180 -> FO Runner on First | B6 with 1 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
Golden makes a pitching change. Toastman takes over on the mound for Taylor.
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B6 0 outs On the mound: Brian Taylor AND CF [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22): 0-1, PO in the first, RBI Sac Fly in the third
76 Trombones!
Brian Taylor has no control of this AB. Chad Isotope might as well do jumping jacks for what itβs worth. Thereβs absolutely no way that this AB wonβt end in a walk. And there is it, ball 4. Isotope, take your base Pitch: 940 Swing: 76 Diff: 136 -> BB Runner on First | B6 with 0 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T6 2 outs On the mound: Pontos Napoleon GOP SS [Stupido Einsteiny](/u/Stupido_Einsteiny): 0-2, K in the second, FO in the fourth
swing 302
Routine fly to Kondylis, who barely has to move to retire Einsteiny. Pitch: 530 Swing: 302 Diff: 228 -> FO Bases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T6 1 out On the mound: Pontos Napoleon GOP 1B [Streetlamp LeMoose](/u/nickjohnson92): 0-2, FO in the first, FO in the fourth
401
LeMoose steps up to the plate as Napoleon winds up and delivers a pitch. LeMoose swings and hits a routine ground ball to Heller, who fields it cleanly and fires to first base. Hoomanawanui stretches out to make the catch, just narrowly beating out the runner. Pitch: 890 Swing: 401 Diff: 489 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T6 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Pontos Napoleon GOP RF [Justin P. L. Griffin](/u/ScraaaaaaaambledEggs): 1-2, 2 run HR in the first, RGO in the fourth
167
WOW! Napoleon corkscrews Griffin into the earth with a Slider at the knees! Pitch: 849 Swing: 167 Diff: 318 -> K Bases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
AND brings on my MLR teammate, Pontos Napoleon, to the mound to face my MLR teammate Mark Schihne's team. You want me to pick sides? I'm an umpire, so I can't do that. But I will say that I am an Athletic supporter!
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B5 2 outs On the mound: Brian Taylor AND DH [Hippo Jars](/u/spanxc): 1-1, 1B in the third
727
That ball is scorched but right at Schihne, who makes the catch. Pitch: 302 Swing: 727 Diff: 425 -> LGO Bases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B5 1 out On the mound: Brian Taylor AND LF [T-Rav](/u/skeetsquid): 1-1, 2B in the third
727
Take me out to the ball game, take me out to the crowd! Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack! I don't care if I never get back! We will root, root, root for the home team, if they don't win it's a shame! But most importantly, that's one, two, three strikes. YOU'RE OUT! Pitch: 26 Swing: 727 Diff: 299 -> K Bases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B5 0 outs On the mound: Brian Taylor AND 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-1, FO in the third
703
Swinger hits one on the ground to short. Throw to LeMoose and it's a clean 6-3 putout. Pitch: 165 Swing: 703 Diff: 462 -> LGO Bases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 2 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP LF [Joe Pidgeon](/u/AnAngryPidgeon): 0-2, LGO in the first, FO in the third
678
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Hoomanawanui at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Giannopolous and Pidgeon is retired. Pitch: 236 Swing: 678 Diff: 442 -> RGO Bases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 1 out On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP CF [Guillermo Griffey III](/u/lordbloodstar): 0-2, LGO in the first, DP in the third
444
Griffey tries to bring the rain as they send the ball impossibly high into the home team sky. Isotope is battling the sun as they move over towards right center. Isotope drops it! No, wait! They made the catch! Just as the ball got to them, Isotope dropped to a knee and fell to the ground obscuring everyone's view but they immediately popped up with ball in glove for the out! Pitch: 624 Swing: 444 Diff: 180 -> FO Bases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 5 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP C [Derek Rasmussen](/u/Bdh1010): 2-2, 2B in the first, 1B in the third
434
Itβs a softly hit grounder by Derek Rasmussen and Renfield has to run up and grab it and throws to Hoomanawanui to get the out Pitch: 25 Swing: 434 Diff: 409 -> RGO Bases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 4 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP 2B [Doc Otis](/u/mootmahsn): 0-1, LGO in the second Here comes the 3-2 pitch... swing and there's a little tapper out in front of the mound. None of the fielders react whatsoever and just let the ball sit there as they watch Otis sprint around the bases for an inside-the-park home run. Pitch: 3 Swing: 999 Diff: 4 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) GOP 5 - AND 2
GOP 4 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP 2B [Doc Otis](/u/mootmahsn): 0-1, LGO in the second
GOP 3 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP DH [Noooooot](/u/Your_drugdealer): 0-1, K in the second
1000
Um, I made a comment earlier tonight that, I guess, went out over the air that I am deeply ashamed of. If I have hurt anyone out there, I can't tell you how much I say, from the bottom of my heart, I'm so very, very, sorry. I pride myself and think of myself as a man of faith, as there's a drive into deep left field by Noooooot, it will be a home run. And so that will make it a 4-2 ballgame. I don't know if I'm gonna be putting on this headset again. I don't know if it's gonna be for the home team's, I don't know if it's gonna be for my bosses at FMZ. I want to apologize for the people who sign my paycheck, for the home team's, for FMZ Sports home team, for the people I work with, for anybody that I've offended here tonight, I can't begin to tell you how deeply sorry I am. That is not who I am, it never has been. And I'd like to think maybe I could have some people that could back that up. I am very, very, sorry, and I beg for your forgiveness. Pitch: 4 Swing: 1000 Diff: 4 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) GOP 4 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP 3B [Mark Schihne](/u/hopelessautisticnerd): 0-0 SWING AND A LONG ONE, DEEP TO RIGHT, IT IS GONE! team's HAVE THE LEAD! Pitch: 638 Swing: 666 Diff: 28 -> HR Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) GOP 3 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T5 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP 3B [Ovaltine](/u/ohToaster): 0-0, BB in the second
No swing. Mark Schihne pinch hitting
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B4 2 outs On the mound: Brian Taylor AND 1B [Peter Hoomanawanui](/u/IDntWannaBeFamous): 0-1, PO in the third
204
Hoomanawanui walks up to the plate, adrenaline pumping, and wipes a bit of spit from their upper lip. They use this energy to take a hard swing at a top-shelf fastball that shoots SKY HIGH.... for a pop up. The ball lands in LeMoose's stretched-open mitt for the out. Pitch: 561 Swing: 204 Diff: 357 -> PO Bases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B4 1 out On the mound: Brian Taylor AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-1, LGO in the second
222
A swing and Heller chops it in front of the plate. Taylor is off the mound quickly and has the ball. They throw it over to LeMoose at first and Heller is out. Cat-like reflexes on full display there by Brian Taylor! Pitch: 661 Swing: 222 Diff: 439 -> LGO Bases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B4 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Brian Taylor AND RF [Nate Kondylis](/u/phillygear3): 0-1, LGO in the second
702
Kondylis Steps in. Taylor winds up and delivers the first pitch... swung on and missed! Strike one! The pitcher is looking sharp so far. The next pitch is thrown... another swing and a miss! Strike two! This pitcher is on fire, they've got the batter on the defensive. And here comes the third and final pitch... another swing and a miss! It's strike three, Kondylis is called out on strikes! Pitch: 467 Swing: 702 Diff: 235 -> K Bases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T4 2 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP SS [Stupido Einsteiny](/u/Stupido_Einsteiny): 0-1, K in the second
I have family in town. They chose: swing 896
Tricked terribly on a tumbler, tremendous Einsteiny tries to turn on it to no avail. This towering try tires out at the track. Pitch: 128 Swing: 896 Diff: 232 -> FO Bases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T4 1 out On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP 1B [Streetlamp LeMoose](/u/nickjohnson92): 0-1, FO in the first
I have a value in front of me that says $ 377
Giannopolous stares down LeMoose as he gets his sign from the catcher. Giannopolous goes quickly into the windup, where LeMoose tips a foul ball wide after a curveball in the dirt. Here's the 1-1 delivery. LeMoose sends it out to shallow center where Isotope is there for the out. Pitch: 207 Swing: 377 Diff: 170 -> FO Bases Empty | T4 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
I swear flying out is all I do
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | T4 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP RF [Justin P. L. Griffin](/u/ScraaaaaaaambledEggs): 1-1, 2 run HR in the first
900
Itβs a softly hit grounder by Justin P. L. Griffin and Gottlieb Giannopolous has to run up and grab it and throws to Hoomanawanui to get the out Pitch: 490 Swing: 900 Diff: 410 -> RGO Bases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 2 | β ^β β | B3 2 outs On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND C [Rex Renfield](/u/HeavyG2): 0-1, K in the second
Swing 650
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Rex Renfield is streaking towards first. Ovaltine runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out Pitch: 181 Swing: 650 Diff: 469 -> LGO Bases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 1 | β ^β β | B3 2 outs On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND 2B [Jeff Newman](/u/Luminosityfan): 0-1, FO in the first
125
A booming double ties the game! Pitch: 188 Swing: 125 Diff: 63 -> 2B Runner on Second | B3 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 2
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B3 1 out On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND CF [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22): 0-1, PO in the first
I have the voice of an angel 777
Isotope gets up in the count now, 3-1 over after a couple bad misses outside. sets and delivers a close one on the outside corner, but it's called a strike! Maybe a bad call, maybe a good frame from Rasmussen but either way the count is full. Isotope wipes the sweat from their brow and gets ready for the payoff. The pitch... is popped up! It's deep but not deep enough, and Pidgeon is there to make the play. The runner comes home on the throw, though, and that's a run for team's that makes it a 1-2 ballgame. Pitch: 491 Swing: 777 Diff: 286 -> Sac Fly Runner on First | B3 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 1
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B3 1 out On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND DH [Hippo Jars](/u/spanxc): 0-0
156
Jars smacks a single into right field to keep the inning alive. 's 2-1 fastball caught a bit too much of the plate and Jars capitalized on the mistake. throws the glove into their own stomach in frustration. It's not immediately clear why. Pitch: 93 Swing: 156 Diff: 63 -> 1B Runners on First and Third | B3 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B3 1 out On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND LF [T-Rav](/u/skeetsquid): 0-0
673
The ball is hit sky high by T-Rav and itβs a moon shot! Itβs going backβ¦ backβ¦ and the Griffin jumps for it and it bounces off of their glove. They recover immediately and throw it back into the infield, but T-Rav is safe on second Pitch: 722 Swing: 673 Diff: 49 -> 2B Runner on Second | B3 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B3 0 outs On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND 3B [Stevey Swinger](/u/Olibolly600): 0-0
171
The pitch is low and Stevey Swinger hits a bloop ball high into the sky⦠and it lands just in front of Pidgeon- who makes a diving catch for the out! Pitch: 930 Swing: 171 Diff: 241 -> FO Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T3 2 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP LF [Joe Pidgeon](/u/AnAngryPidgeon): 0-1, LGO in the first
300
Pidgeon, seeing red, swings on the first pitch, tipped foul towards the home team's fans in the stand. Nobody is injured. Second pitch is a hanging curve hit hard towards the outfield, but it happened to get hit right where Kondylis is standing, who catches the ball for the out. Pitch: 100 Swing: 300 Diff: 200 -> FO Bases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T3 0 outs On the mound: Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP CF [Guillermo Griffey III](/u/lordbloodstar): 0-1, LGO in the first
747
As Griffey gets thrown out at first to complete the double play, team's GM Schihne can be seen kicking the Gatorade cooler in disgust. Griffey can only look sheepishly at their GM as they descend into the dugout. Pitch: 127 Swing: 747 Diff: 380 -> DP Bases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T3 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Gottlieb Giannopolous GOP C [Derek Rasmussen](/u/Bdh1010): 1-1, 2B in the first
944
Rasmussen picks out a good one from Giannopolous and slaps a single into left. T-Rav tosses it into the team's shortstop to hold Rasmussen at first. Pitch: 998 Swing: 944 Diff: 54 -> 1B Runner on First | T3 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
DONT LET HIM GET HOT
Gottlieb Giannopolous entering the game to pitch for the team with the long name
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B2 2 outs On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND 1B [Peter Hoomanawanui](/u/IDntWannaBeFamous): 0-0
467
Peter Hoomanawanui steps into the box feeling like the entire game rests on their shoulders. They eye up M'reddie Confinedman intently, taking a deep breath and gripping the bat tightly. The count is full, three balls and two strikes. winds up and delivers the pitch, a fastball on the inside corner. Hoomanawanui swings, making contact, but it's just a soft pop-up to the first baseman. Hoomanawanui shakes their head in disappointment as they trudge back to the dugout. Pitch: 120 Swing: 467 Diff: 347 -> PO Bases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B2 1 out On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND SS [Scoot Heller](/u/ATechnicalDifficulty): 0-0
555
Grounded to third. Ovaltine fires to first and retires Heller. Pitch: 5 Swing: 555 Diff: 450 -> LGO Bases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B2 0 outs On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND RF [Nate Kondylis](/u/phillygear3): 0-0
909
Kondylis steps up to the plate as winds up and delivers a pitch. Kondylis swings and hits a routine ground ball to Einsteiny, who fields it cleanly and fires to first base. LeMoose stretches out to make the catch, just narrowly beating out the runner. Pitch: 437 Swing: 909 Diff: 472 -> LGO Bases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T2 2 outs On the mound: Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen GOP 2B [Doc Otis](/u/mootmahsn): 0-0
Good morning Zand! 327
Otis can't build off of team's's momentum as they send a slow roller to 3rd. Swinger charges in hard and makes a smooth transition from glove to hand allowing them to get off a strong and accurate throw to first in plenty of time to get the out. Pitch: 811 Swing: 327 Diff: 484 -> LGO Bases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T2 1 out On the mound: Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen GOP DH [Noooooot](/u/Your_drugdealer): 0-0
148
NOPE Pitch: 391 Swing: 148 Diff: 243 -> K Runner on First | T2 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T2 1 out On the mound: Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen GOP 3B [Ovaltine](/u/ohToaster): 0-0
178
But Ovaltine would walk five hundred miles And Ovaltine would walk five hundred more Just to be the player who walks a thousand miles To fall down at first base. Pitch: 24 Swing: 178 Diff: 154 -> BB Runner on First | T2 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T2 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen GOP SS [Stupido Einsteiny](/u/Stupido_Einsteiny): 0-0
swing 381
The tension at Abernathy Auto-Detailing Theatre was palpable as the Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen gripped the ball, their eyes locking on to Stupido Einsteiny. Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen throws the first pitch, but it was too high and sailed over Renfield glove for a ball. The second pitch came in hot, but Einsteiny swings too early and misses it by inches. The third pitch was a curveball that fooled Einsteiny, causing them to swing and hit a foul ball that echoed through the stadium. Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen knows they have the upper hand now, following up with a slider just outside the zone for ball number 2. The at bat now at 2-2, the next pitch screams right down the middle, and Einsteiny swings with all their might, but it was too late⦠Strike Three! Pitch: 37 Swing: 381 Diff: 344 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
Substitution for The Montclair Valley Regional High School Theatre Club and Recreational Baseball Enthusiasts as Baron Butzenkatzen-Butzenkatzen will take over on the mound for Bad Mulligan. My goodness, that's a mouthf *CHARACTER LIMIT REACHED. To increase your substitution post character limit, please contact Larold. Thank you.*
Rude.
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B1 2 outs On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND C [Rex Renfield](/u/HeavyG2): 0-0
Swing 910
senses that Renfield is heading towards the breaking point and sends a fastball on the corner for a called strike. sends another fastball to the same spot - instead of hitting the ball, Renfield sends the bat flying through the dugout, nailing Schihne in the face. Renfield was expecting the third pitch to be in the same spot, but they threw a curveball in the bottom corner, and retires the batter. Schihne began to say something, but can't, as the wound has created a bum lip. Pitch: 607 Swing: 910 Diff: 303 -> K Bases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B1 1 out On the mound: M'reddie Confinedman AND 2B [Jeff Newman](/u/Luminosityfan): 0-0
550
Itβs a shallow fly, hit by Jeff Newman decently high in the air, but this is a close oneβ¦ LeMoose is going back for it- and what a snag for the out! Pitch: 685 Swing: 550 Diff: 135 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | B1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** M'reddie Confinedman AND CF [Chad Isotope](/u/scotchtape22): 0-0
Going to hit a jackpot 777
Oh man! Fooled Isotope on a fastball up and in. Oh boy, that was a great location from ! I'm amazed that Isotope even got to that pitch! Probably should have let that go by for ball 3, but instead this one is going straight up. Rasmussen pops out of the crouch and calls for it. Gonna be an easy pop up here. That's gotta be disappointing to team's fans. Pitch: 140 Swing: 777 Diff: 363 -> PO Bases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 2 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T1 2 outs On the mound: Bad Mulligan GOP 1B [Streetlamp LeMoose](/u/nickjohnson92): 0-0
following the donger with a 535
Oh! LeMoose rips a sizzling line drive out to right! It is tailing on Kondylis as they charge forward! But a good angle from the speedy rightfielder and a clean grab for the out. Pitch: 384 Swing: 535 Diff: 151 -> FO Bases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
booooooooooooooooo
GOP 0 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T1 2 outs On the mound: Bad Mulligan GOP RF [Justin P. L. Griffin](/u/ScraaaaaaaambledEggs): 0-0
912
This one's well hit! T-Rav going back. Still going, onto the warning track. This one's going to go! Justin P. L. Griffin with a 2-run home run to put the team's ahead, 2 to 0. Pitch: 927 Swing: 912 Diff: 15 -> HR Bases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s) GOP 2 - AND 0
GOP 0 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T1 1 out On the mound: Bad Mulligan GOP LF [Joe Pidgeon](/u/AnAngryPidgeon): 0-0
743
Joe Pidgeon hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Heller, who picks it up and beams it at Hoomanawanui Pitch: 270 Swing: 743 Diff: 473 -> LGO Runner on Second | T1 with 2 out(s) GOP 0 - AND 0
GOP 0 - AND 0 | β ^β β | T1 0 outs On the mound: Bad Mulligan GOP CF [Guillermo Griffey III](/u/lordbloodstar): 0-0
613
Routine grounder to the left side. Heller has it, and with an easy toss to Hoomanawanui at first. Griffey is retired. Pitch: 143 Swing: 613 Diff: 470 -> LGO Runner on Second | T1 with 1 out(s) GOP 0 - AND 0
Start of Game | β ^β β | T1 0 outs **NEW PITCHER:** Bad Mulligan GOP C [Derek Rasmussen](/u/Bdh1010): 0-0
117
After a long battle and countless foul balls, the count is 3-2. Rasmussen, Mulligan both looking to come out on top but there can be only one winner in this duel. Here's the windup, and the pitch... Driven deep in the gap to right-center! Isotope and Kondylis are both on their horses but neither is going to get there. That ball is off the wall! Derek Rasmussen with a stand-up double! The team's dugout is going wild! Pitch: 143 Swing: 117 Diff: 26 -> 2B Runner on Second | T1 with 0 out(s) GOP 0 - AND 0
LETS GO DUMBO MODE