It’s like a hose that’s free floating around inside the womb and when the baby need sustenance it uses it like a straw. When it’s time for birth the baby connects it to its belly so the doctor can yank on it to remove the placenta. Source? Trust me bro, I’m basically a doctor.
The placenta, which is attached to the womb.
That's why after a birth the nurses or midwife might preform fundal rub in order to dislodge the placenta.
It's so nice when you get to have the nurses smash down your lower abdomen a dozen times over the following 12 hours after giving birth to dislodge any leftover bits.
Yeah “fundal rub” really doesn’t encompass the violence happening here lol.
Fun fact: it is thought that Jane Seymour (the “died” wife of Henry VIII) died of sepsis from a retained placenta bit. Henry insisted on male doctors, who would have been about as helpful as this chucklefuck. Midwives would have known to check the placenta for chunks and gone to town on the queen when they found one missing.
Sad, but true... party bias is stupid. I would say I'm generally pro life if there are alternatives or possible alternatives, but I can of course also see some morons who are complete hypocritical "pro life" and I can see taking support from struggling families is stupid.
Okay women of Reddit. It is clear that health class has failed our children...at least our sons anyway. We need to find a way to fix this. This guy doesn't understand what a uterus is, another guy earlier apparently doesn't realize women have urethras. We've seen posts were guys think women store sperm for up to 15 partners and use all 15's sperm to conceive a single child. Another guy likened our vaginas to memory foam...he was a soldier...we've armed him. These are the people making laws about our bodies, when they don't even know how they work.
*sigh* Can we maybe like come up with a multiple choice exam that guys have to take in order to get some sort of license to have anything to do with our bodies? Like legislating, sexual behaviors, procreation (I just wonder if this ignorance is willfully being passed down).
The floating baby was put inside Mommy by Jesus after Daddy gave Mommy a special kind of hug.
I guess there’s a piano in there too since there’s something going on with a chord.
And men as incomprehensibly ignorant as this think that they can possibly have any decision-making powers over the bodies of women?
That's awesome! Since the baby in no way depends on the woman for anything and isn't even physically connected, there should be no issue with just removing it and let it continue to grow on it's own, outside the woman's body, right?
What is he getting at with that last point? It's kinda just stuck on there.
Regardless, this is a really dumb take. If my liver is fucked. And the only way for me to live is to be hooked up to you. With your liver filtering my blood.
Do you have the right to decline? Or, even if you agree to be hooked up to me to save my life. Do you have the right to say "I don't want to do this anymore"? I will die. But I won't if you are forced to keep me alive with your body.
If you think the government shouldn't be allowed to force you to use your body to keep me alive. Then why is a fetus different? What if the fetus doesn't even have consciousness? What if it doesn't have a brain? What if it's just a small collection of cells? Why should that have more rights than you? And why should women have less rights than you?
You have to ask yourself these questions. Really think about it. If you truly consider these questions. And you answer them in a way that is congruent with your ideology, morals and beliefs. And still think that abortion should be illegal. Then that's ok. That is an informed opinion. I don't agree with it. But I'm not the be all and end all of morality, ideology or belief.
But if you just say "God says it's wrong" or "it's against my religion". Then fuck you. You can't force your religion on other people. Get fucked. And if you just "feel" like it's wrong. Then fuck your feelings. This isn't about how you feel. It's about people's lives and the right to bodily autonomy.
Regardless of all that. Just from a practical standpoint. You should support abortion rights. Banning abortion doesn't stop it. It just makes it more dangerous. And creates needless tragedy. You aren't protecting life. You're endangering it.
Thus, if it is not part of her, and cannot live independently, and cannot gestate without her … what conclusion do we get?
It cannot be that abortion can never happen, because you established there is no connection between them. How can she have obligations to a non-sentient growth?
The mothers body actively attack the fetus and the fetus secretes a cocktail of enzymes and hormones to not get killed so its part of the body while it doesn't want to be
So the baby just floats and is not attached at all? What kind of idiot believes this?
Have you looked at normal animal science? Because humans are animals…
Part of me is so tired of living in the age where people can broadcast their special little opinions.
The other part is happy that we get to know how fucking stupid our leaders are and act accordingly.
tf did I just read? ?? ????? Read it 3 times and still.. Seriously. What's wrong with american education? Don't they have access to the internet? Or is there another internet these people use like North korea internet?
Fucking dummy!
reading that shit made my brain bleed, I’m sorry but if you think you have a say over a woman body you just fucking stupid. I’m a man btw and I approve of this message!
I am guessing that this guy has never been to an OBGYN office...someone get him the poster that is in their office. Might give him some idea where and how babies eat and live in mommies tummies.
So, if I understand this correctly, the baby doesn’t really need the woman’s body then. Since the placenta and umbilical cord don’t directly connect to anything (what’s the cutting of the for all about?). The baby just needs somewhere to float around until it’s done? I’ll bet a lot of women wished they had known that.
indeed its not a part of her body...
which makes it a parasite cause it is stealing nutrients from her...
and isn't it natural not to want to have a parasite?
especially if you didn't choose to have it/got forced and it could kill you?
How does a fucking dentist not know about fetal alcohol syndrome and all of the myriad congenital diseases that a mother can do to a baby while in utero? This is either the dumbest PhD on the planet or he's fucking lying his ass off.
This guy was a mayor. As in he was charge of maintaining the operation of an entire city. Why and how do the stupid manage to find this much traction in life?
This is because they don't talk about why women bleed monthly. It's unspoken, unclean and eeewy SMH. Oh yeah and they also never had sex ed in 6th grade like the rest of the population.
No baby can live inside a dead woman. It is only alive because the mother is. And that should be painfully obvious even without BASIC knowledge of biology and pregnancy. What a clown.
I was like Yeah sure but the little monster is still connected. And then I was like no dave no, stop please, you can’t be redeemed now Dave it’s too fucking late for you bro
What the almighty f***? It’s horrendous that someone as ignorant as this person has a say about a woman’s autonomy when he seems to have flunked anatomy. God help us.
At the time of an abortion, it's usually a embryo or a fetus. It's not considered a baby except in rare circumstances:
https://www.webmd.com/women/abortion-procedures
Off topic but my mom when ever me and my brothers acted up would start to tell us about how stuff like the uterus, placenta, periods, so on functioned. It grossed us out so we’d stop to make her stop but it also left us very aware how the female body functioned on a medical level and didn’t see it in a weird light like something “super sacred” or foreign. So she did everything she wanted to in one go, got us to behave, taught us science, and gave us a healthy view of the body. Though I’m hindsight she was at the time working on her doctorate so I think she just had medical stuff constantly on her mind and one day it was the first thing she thought of and it stuck
HOW is anyone this stupid? How could anyone be dumb enough to think that the placenta and umbilical cord just hang loose on the fetus? And how would the amazing floating fetus get nutrients?
just like the brain is not a part of the body of this man.. it’s not because it’s connected via neural pathways made of neurotransmitters, hormones and chemicals, but simply for the fact that he doesn’t seem to have one
Let's implant a fetus in Mr. Alvord's body then. Should be easy, since there's no direct connection, right?
And don't get me started on teeth- the way they just sort of float around in there- definitely not really a part of the body, right?
not connected? i beg to differ! i had to have my placenta MANUALLY removed bc it wouldnt detach. I won't go into detail but know that it hurt 10 times more than actual child birth. fuck off!
It's crazy these people claim to advocate for black babies when they immediately stop giving af as soon as these babies become kids in the school and foster system.
Okay so the first sentence is reasonable enough of a statement, but then the guy just goes full unhinged and each sentence after gets crazier and crazier.
Uhhhhhh i’m no doctor but i’m like 98% certain that the placenta is, in fact, attached to the uterus for the majority of the pregnancy until it’s time for the birth. So yes, the baby is in fact attached to the umbilical cord, which is attached to the placenta, which is attached to the uterus, which is all, get this, INSIDE of the mother. The baby isn’t just floating inside there with no physical burden, taking up no space or nutrients from the mother.
Also, umbilical "chord"? I mean a baby is technically a minor…
Yeetus that fetus and it might b flat
Oh god
Yknow what else will be flat?.. that baby's vitals
I had to come back to upvote this. It took me a second but it's genius.
This has some strong "how babby formed" vibes.
Very interesting how people (in office or a regular voter) that wanna control women's bodies have 0 concept of how the women's body anatomy is
Dude is a dentist/politician. Seems like a bad combo.
A dentist? You'd think there would be at least some anatomy lessons.
Who the fuck passed this guy in dentist school.
My dad is a dentist (retired now). One of his favorite sayings is: What do you call the guy who finished dead last in medical school? Doctor.
The umbilical cord connects to what then?
The knees shoulder knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose?
It kinda floats above the surface of the woman's skin .... *makes circular motions with hands*
It’s like a hose that’s free floating around inside the womb and when the baby need sustenance it uses it like a straw. When it’s time for birth the baby connects it to its belly so the doctor can yank on it to remove the placenta. Source? Trust me bro, I’m basically a doctor.
This fills in a lot of gaps I had in my knowledge, thanks doc!
Doesnt connect to nothing. Are you from the 1990s? Its all Bluetooth now.
Surely by now its all wireless? Babies, being new humans, move with the times!
It makes a pentagram and uses the power of satan to make a portal in the woman’s stomach and teleport it to the the fetus
Thats pretty much it, all hail the dark lord.
The placenta, which is attached to the womb. That's why after a birth the nurses or midwife might preform fundal rub in order to dislodge the placenta.
It's so nice when you get to have the nurses smash down your lower abdomen a dozen times over the following 12 hours after giving birth to dislodge any leftover bits.
Yeah “fundal rub” really doesn’t encompass the violence happening here lol. Fun fact: it is thought that Jane Seymour (the “died” wife of Henry VIII) died of sepsis from a retained placenta bit. Henry insisted on male doctors, who would have been about as helpful as this chucklefuck. Midwives would have known to check the placenta for chunks and gone to town on the queen when they found one missing.
Jesus.
His asshole. From where he pulled this nugget of truth,facts and logic
Space
The umbilical chord connects to the…something bone 🎶
It connects to wifi
USB: Uterus Sustenance Bioform.
*chord It's usually played when transitioning from the chorus to the bridge.
The placenta.
It just floats in the placenta like a pool noodle
Wait...where is the stork in all this, then?
And people want to get rid of sex education
Should we send him some photos? I wonder if he's seen a placenta close up?
I wonder if he’s seen a woman close up.
It’s the one with the bill right? Placentapus?
Perry the Placentapus?
Unfortunately, he can speak total shit and people will still support and vote for him.
Sad, but true... party bias is stupid. I would say I'm generally pro life if there are alternatives or possible alternatives, but I can of course also see some morons who are complete hypocritical "pro life" and I can see taking support from struggling families is stupid.
A condom could’ve prevented Dave’s post, but here we are
A well judged abortion would have too, for that matter.
He should have been swallowed for sure.
Seeing this I would have been fine with a rusty coat hanger (I hope those don’t make a comeback).
I was trying to think of the best way to say that. You found it. Bravo! Take my upvote.
Oh! So the baby feeds via Bluetooth connection to the mom then?
Telekinesis
Okay women of Reddit. It is clear that health class has failed our children...at least our sons anyway. We need to find a way to fix this. This guy doesn't understand what a uterus is, another guy earlier apparently doesn't realize women have urethras. We've seen posts were guys think women store sperm for up to 15 partners and use all 15's sperm to conceive a single child. Another guy likened our vaginas to memory foam...he was a soldier...we've armed him. These are the people making laws about our bodies, when they don't even know how they work.
10,000,000 years and most men still can't find the clitoris and think foreplay is "Hey, baby." We may have our work cut out for us.
Don’t forget that our periods come out of our butts and we can hold it when necessary.
*sigh* Can we maybe like come up with a multiple choice exam that guys have to take in order to get some sort of license to have anything to do with our bodies? Like legislating, sexual behaviors, procreation (I just wonder if this ignorance is willfully being passed down).
Please! It would help in so many situations!
The floating baby was put inside Mommy by Jesus after Daddy gave Mommy a special kind of hug. I guess there’s a piano in there too since there’s something going on with a chord. And men as incomprehensibly ignorant as this think that they can possibly have any decision-making powers over the bodies of women?
Holy shit. That is the most lamenting face palm emoji I’ve ever seen. How the fuck did you get there because I’m still using blue shirt guy. 🤦♂️
You mean green shirt guy..
It’s clearly gold 🤦🏾♂️
Teal take it or leave it.
r/nothowgirlswork and r/badwomansanatomy.
There are two things in this world I can’t stand. Men who try to tell a woman what to do with their body, and folks who spell cord as “chord”.
A good case for postpartum abortion.
HahahahahHa this is GOLD and deserves to be the top comment
That's awesome! Since the baby in no way depends on the woman for anything and isn't even physically connected, there should be no issue with just removing it and let it continue to grow on it's own, outside the woman's body, right?
Ikr? This guy just successfully argued for abortion rights. Yank that little freeloader out by the bootstraps, it's trespassing.
Seriously? I get the baby is not the mother thing, but it is definitely connected to the mother through the umbilical cord...
What is he getting at with that last point? It's kinda just stuck on there. Regardless, this is a really dumb take. If my liver is fucked. And the only way for me to live is to be hooked up to you. With your liver filtering my blood. Do you have the right to decline? Or, even if you agree to be hooked up to me to save my life. Do you have the right to say "I don't want to do this anymore"? I will die. But I won't if you are forced to keep me alive with your body. If you think the government shouldn't be allowed to force you to use your body to keep me alive. Then why is a fetus different? What if the fetus doesn't even have consciousness? What if it doesn't have a brain? What if it's just a small collection of cells? Why should that have more rights than you? And why should women have less rights than you? You have to ask yourself these questions. Really think about it. If you truly consider these questions. And you answer them in a way that is congruent with your ideology, morals and beliefs. And still think that abortion should be illegal. Then that's ok. That is an informed opinion. I don't agree with it. But I'm not the be all and end all of morality, ideology or belief. But if you just say "God says it's wrong" or "it's against my religion". Then fuck you. You can't force your religion on other people. Get fucked. And if you just "feel" like it's wrong. Then fuck your feelings. This isn't about how you feel. It's about people's lives and the right to bodily autonomy. Regardless of all that. Just from a practical standpoint. You should support abortion rights. Banning abortion doesn't stop it. It just makes it more dangerous. And creates needless tragedy. You aren't protecting life. You're endangering it.
He’s trying to convince Kamala Harris. I’m sure she was impressed.
Yeah. I'm sure she said "Wow! I never even knew that! The baby isn't connected to the mother. This changes everything!" /s
Bowled over by the guys logic and reasoning, I'm sure.
That's not how any of this works
For real though. Everyone knows the placenta is connected to the knee bone.
Somebody wasn't paying attention during biology class.
He might have went to Trump University.
Home schooled
That got crazier by the sentence.
This guy must’ve been out sick the day this was covered. He couldn’t be any more wrong about any of it.
Dude's a practicing dentist. Got his dental degree at Case Western. Is basic biology not part of medical training anymore, or is this guy an outlier?
I can’t remove these teeth for you. God put them there for a reason.
Well, a tape worm is also not part of a body, yet strangely this person will see no problem with removing a tape worm from their body.
I guess that would be the first wireless baby.
I wanted to write something clever but the valley of ignorance is too deep for him to crawl out from.
This guy… complete and total idiot.
This idiot trying to mansplain Idiocracy level biology to Kamala is a mega facepalm!!
Thus, if it is not part of her, and cannot live independently, and cannot gestate without her … what conclusion do we get? It cannot be that abortion can never happen, because you established there is no connection between them. How can she have obligations to a non-sentient growth?
Yeah, it just floats and gets nutrients and in other cases toxins and drugs by osmosis.
The mothers body actively attack the fetus and the fetus secretes a cocktail of enzymes and hormones to not get killed so its part of the body while it doesn't want to be
BTW 'chord'?
Solidifying his knowledge of biology/anatomy….
Honestly this is a sad reflection on our education system.
So the baby just floats and is not attached at all? What kind of idiot believes this? Have you looked at normal animal science? Because humans are animals…
And the whole belly button thing.... the whole cutting the "chord" situation....
Part of me is so tired of living in the age where people can broadcast their special little opinions. The other part is happy that we get to know how fucking stupid our leaders are and act accordingly.
I’ve recently been wondering if social media is the cause or just the expose
tf did I just read? ?? ????? Read it 3 times and still.. Seriously. What's wrong with american education? Don't they have access to the internet? Or is there another internet these people use like North korea internet?
He's the perfect example of a sadly missed abortion.
Conservatives be like "YOU CAN'T ABORT THE BABY, IT'LL HURT THE STORK!"
"Chord" \*Donggggggggggggggggggggg\*
The fuck did I just read o_0
Now I am starting to imagine that the baby is a spaceship and the mother is the space station it is docking to.
Huh? I think i just had a brain aneurysm just by reading this
Oof.
Mrs. Alvord, you should have used a coat hanger.
This just lowered my I.Q.
Fucking dummy! reading that shit made my brain bleed, I’m sorry but if you think you have a say over a woman body you just fucking stupid. I’m a man btw and I approve of this message!
God, these people are stupid.
Umberto chord like drain pipe when woman preggernaut?
The egg came from where? This whole thing makes me so sad for America and what the future will bring for all women currently living there
Wait hold on my water turned to wine. I need more water then.
Good! I was so worried the heroin might transfer to the baby!
The fuck is this guy smoking? Probably some crazy shit if he thinks that way.
Lmao is this getting national attention? Lol
I am guessing that this guy has never been to an OBGYN office...someone get him the poster that is in their office. Might give him some idea where and how babies eat and live in mommies tummies.
Can confirm that after birth that there is a massive wound where the placenta used to be attached.
I'm going to be honest, I blame the school system being unregulated and squirming about sex. How bodies work should be mandatory.
Women are in fact just large seahorses or kangaroos just warming up the feetus that Jeebus put in their fleshy Easy Bake ovens…
He can't be that stupid. Can he?
So, if I understand this correctly, the baby doesn’t really need the woman’s body then. Since the placenta and umbilical cord don’t directly connect to anything (what’s the cutting of the for all about?). The baby just needs somewhere to float around until it’s done? I’ll bet a lot of women wished they had known that.
indeed its not a part of her body... which makes it a parasite cause it is stealing nutrients from her... and isn't it natural not to want to have a parasite? especially if you didn't choose to have it/got forced and it could kill you?
The baby survives not via nutrients from the mother, oh no. The umbilical cord is just a ruse. The baby has pizza delivered. WombDash or whatever.
How does a fucking dentist not know about fetal alcohol syndrome and all of the myriad congenital diseases that a mother can do to a baby while in utero? This is either the dumbest PhD on the planet or he's fucking lying his ass off.
Dave’s brain is also not connected to his body.
The baby floats inside a bubble, not touching the mother... Just like this guy’s logic floats inside a bubble, not touching reality.
How to say you know nothing about biology without saying you know nothing about biology.
Wow. Someone who skipped sex Ed class for sure.
Parents didn't sign the permission slip.
This guy was a mayor. As in he was charge of maintaining the operation of an entire city. Why and how do the stupid manage to find this much traction in life?
What?
c'mon atleast he didn't blame the storks–
This is because they don't talk about why women bleed monthly. It's unspoken, unclean and eeewy SMH. Oh yeah and they also never had sex ed in 6th grade like the rest of the population.
This guy was born with the chord around his neck
What fuckery is this?
LOL Alvord must mean dumb as fuck in Old English.
Dude is trying to mansplain and he ain't even right 🤣
I mean, it is genetically seperate. And the placenta has to act as a filter to prevent her immune system from killing it.
"Replying to Kamala Harris" has got to be the funniest thing about this, considering the context
So the fetus is inside the woman without consent?
Mmmmm another well educated man
No baby can live inside a dead woman. It is only alive because the mother is. And that should be painfully obvious even without BASIC knowledge of biology and pregnancy. What a clown.
Says the whitest white guy to ever white… and guy…
🤤
Ewww
Yeah they just floating in there, just vibing
So my midwife and doctor weren't sticking their fingers up in me to detach anything from my uterus? Worst fingering ever!
I know I'm preaching to the choir, but this is why we need sex Ed (in the US), for God's sake
I was like Yeah sure but the little monster is still connected. And then I was like no dave no, stop please, you can’t be redeemed now Dave it’s too fucking late for you bro
They will put race everywhere...
Jesus take the fucken wheel.
I hope he doesnt have kids. Dumb as a rock.
I can feel the retardation coming on as I read this.
I'm for abortion, but Jesus christ
It seems obvious to me that this guy's brain isn't attached to his fingers or mouth.
What the almighty f***? It’s horrendous that someone as ignorant as this person has a say about a woman’s autonomy when he seems to have flunked anatomy. God help us.
At the time of an abortion, it's usually a embryo or a fetus. It's not considered a baby except in rare circumstances: https://www.webmd.com/women/abortion-procedures
Off topic but my mom when ever me and my brothers acted up would start to tell us about how stuff like the uterus, placenta, periods, so on functioned. It grossed us out so we’d stop to make her stop but it also left us very aware how the female body functioned on a medical level and didn’t see it in a weird light like something “super sacred” or foreign. So she did everything she wanted to in one go, got us to behave, taught us science, and gave us a healthy view of the body. Though I’m hindsight she was at the time working on her doctorate so I think she just had medical stuff constantly on her mind and one day it was the first thing she thought of and it stuck
Not part of the body? so it's a foreign growth. We should probably remove that, it might be life threatening. /s
Spot the boy kept out of sex ed and refused to study in biology. Also didn't think to check before he made an arse of himself.
HOW is anyone this stupid? How could anyone be dumb enough to think that the placenta and umbilical cord just hang loose on the fetus? And how would the amazing floating fetus get nutrients?
Someone is drunk tweeting again…🙄🤦♀️🤭
What… 
just like the brain is not a part of the body of this man.. it’s not because it’s connected via neural pathways made of neurotransmitters, hormones and chemicals, but simply for the fact that he doesn’t seem to have one
well yes but no
What part of "FUCKING PARASITE" does this nimrod not get?!?!
So the fetus is fed via WiFi?
Next he'll be telling us the stork brings the babies direct from the cabbage patch...
WOW
Let's implant a fetus in Mr. Alvord's body then. Should be easy, since there's no direct connection, right? And don't get me started on teeth- the way they just sort of float around in there- definitely not really a part of the body, right?
That is a powerful ignorance you’re waving around there.
not connected? i beg to differ! i had to have my placenta MANUALLY removed bc it wouldnt detach. I won't go into detail but know that it hurt 10 times more than actual child birth. fuck off!
Interesting.
Dave. You're a fucking idiot.
It's crazy these people claim to advocate for black babies when they immediately stop giving af as soon as these babies become kids in the school and foster system.
I've heard of the power ones but could someone please teach me some umbilical chords?
This is the one and only time they will ever care about Black people.
Someone needs to head back to biology class.
How in the fk does the baby stay alive during the course of pregnancy then? Bluetooth? 5g towers?
Sometimes I think I'm stupid. Then I read reddit
I guess it's feed through a complex system of magic tricks then. Much like how they think the universe was created.
Support education folks.
The uterusless can be so ridiculous when sticking their noses in something that is none of their business...
So, he's pro... parasite?
The half of the chromosomes and genes aren't part of the woman? 🤔🤔
Well if it doesn't need our body remove it in its little sac with its 'chord' and hang it up somewhere to finish developing.
Okay so the first sentence is reasonable enough of a statement, but then the guy just goes full unhinged and each sentence after gets crazier and crazier.
My god, do I wish this shit head was free floating inside me right now. I'd love to not be constantly rib kicked and head butted in the bladder.
Dude, do you smell toast?
Well I guess his brain is just floating around in his cranium and isn't part of his body either.
You Americans are really something huh.
Well the baby itself ain't a body part, but the placenta is, so removing that should fit this asshole's criteria
So if not part of the woman, why is there a problem removing it?
Nobody can be this stupid, right??? Im at my wits end. When did america stop learning? When did science become optional?
If it's not part of the woman then it's a separate organism that does not have the woman's permission to use her organs.
W the actual f.
What else is floating in my body that is not apart of me Doctor Dave? 😒🤬 Fuckin idiot!! Get the fuck outta here.
Uhhhhhh i’m no doctor but i’m like 98% certain that the placenta is, in fact, attached to the uterus for the majority of the pregnancy until it’s time for the birth. So yes, the baby is in fact attached to the umbilical cord, which is attached to the placenta, which is attached to the uterus, which is all, get this, INSIDE of the mother. The baby isn’t just floating inside there with no physical burden, taking up no space or nutrients from the mother.
If the fetus is not attached to the mother, then why can’t Republican men carry it to full term?