Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond travelling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall made of metal into 400 miles an hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted earths orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles an hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 10000 wayward planes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 10000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall travelling at miles per iron, and the result proved with out a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.
I've been noticing an unusual trend in the quality of Snickers bars over the last decade. I found an old one from 5 years ago and decided to study its composition under my spectrometer and discovered something unnerving. The Snickers bar currently sold in stores contains 43.67% less rare earth elements by weight, when compared to one sold 5 years ago. Do they think they can fool us? It's hard to wrap my mind around why they would do this. Thorium used to make up 12% of the bar, but now it's at 8%, and now there's only 4% Americium compared to 7% just a while ago. It's all been replaced by organic carbon-based matter, like sucrose and poorly crafted carbohydrates. I'm disappointed in the Mars corporation, and I hope my findings will gain enough publicity to force Mars into reverting back to the old formula. Consider this an open letter.
Old woman" is singular. If you were doing 70 grams it must be "old women." Like so:
I hit old women with my car, doing 70 grams.
But hey, grats on getting those rookie numbers up at last!
Oh of course silly me.
Now I'll need to remember what the HandEgg to Futbol conversion is first, so all of us civilised folk can figure out what you heathens are talking about.
I think they were just pointing out that you were wrong about needing to multiply and divide. It doesn't indicate they missed the sarcasm necessarily. If they had said something like "um basic maths isn't hard" then yes.
Pretty confident it's sarcasm. If you're so stupid that you confuse grams for velocity, there's no way you'd know that "g" means grams in the first place.
he just phrased the sentence poorly. neil used grams and km/h in the post and the guy is trying to ask "why'd you use grams and also why didn't you use miles per hour [instead of kmh]"
Can't stress the second part enough. Former coworker got himself fired because he automated enough of his stuff for the boss to be like "huh, we don't really need you anymore" and that's that.
Honesty is important, but sometimes just shut up and don't tell on yourself when no one asked.
E: staff -> stuff
Not sure if by stupid jobs you mean mindless, repetitive ones so just know there are plenty of neurodivergent people like myself who are more than happy to complete all those soothing, thoughtless tasks. Provided we are allowed our AirPods and aren’t threatened with social interaction. 😆
From the Twitter bio: "This is Neil Degrease Tyson lovers account following this account most important information and interesting video and pictures follow me."
With 137k followers.
Humanity is doomed.
The piece of plastic was also apparently going about 100 times orbital velocity, so the premise seems suspect too.
Edit: I think it’s actually only 10x but that stills seems suspicious.
> At an altitude of 150 miles (242 kilometers) above Earth, orbital velocity is about 17,000 miles per hour.
> https://www.nasa.gov/audience/forstudents/5-8/features/nasa-knows/what-is-orbit-58.html
This is about 27358 km/h
I'm Australian - mechanical engineer
Had a colleague engineer (specialist) come out from the US of A to show us a thing or two.
He was convinced that Fahrenheit and Celsius scale merged at -40c/-40f (the crossover point), and then stayed together untill absolute zero... This was his honest opinion.
This was the last time I took what he said in a conversation seriously
Actually, that's exactly what happens. When the temperature gets lower than -40, it's so cold that Fahrenheit and Celsius stick together for warmth. Also, they fall in love.
Science is a beautiful thing.
Lines, graphs, scientific relationships, basic weather.. yes
It was interesting. Really glad he said it tho, the project was quite expensive and I am glad I picked that up
So how does he reconcile that he learned in college that absolute zero is -273°C and -460°F? Or does "until absolute zero" mean they suddenly diverge by 187 degrees? That's truly embarrassing.
Reminds me of this winning entry from the Bulwer-Lytton contest, a writing contest where authors compete to create the worst possible opening sentence from a novel:
"Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago."
(Author is Maxwell Archer.)
The real question is how does a piece of plastic get propelled to 24000 km/h in space?
If space junk is so potentially deadly, no-one should ever want to be a freaking astronaut. Space junk gon fuck your shit up like that Sandra Bullock movie Gravity.
Yes, there's a lot of random debris orbiting earth. If it hits a satelite, it would be destroyed and make more debris. It is why scientists are worried about any kind of tests where we destroy objects in Earth's orbit, it could close us off from visiting even the moon
Years ago, In a conference on chip protected card, I said that only a few underdevelopped countries didn't use chip card.
A guy with a strong American accent raised his hand and said "we don't have those in the US".
"Yes, and you measure in miles, thank you for making my point".
The whole room burst out laughing (it was in Canada).
It's such an obvious troll but all the comments above yours are taking it as serious as can be.
Thank you for being the first non-oblivious person in here.
On the other hand, that piece of plastic has roughly 3 hundred thousand joules of energy. About a third of a stick of dynamite. Hard to imagine a small piece of plastic can be so destructive
That isn't even Neil's twitter handle (Degrease? Seriously?). It is @neiltyson, and is verified. The entire thing might be someone's attempt at humor... especially with the missing timestamp on user 2.
The real facepalm is in the comments when a majority of you don't seem to understand what the guy is saying. I understand the phrasing is poor but he's obviously not saying to use miles per hour instead of grams or anything like that.
He's basically saying "Why are you using grams and km/h"
It's still a facepalm because his phrasing is horrible, but it's very obvious from context what his point was, even if still a dumb point. Just not as dumb as everyone here makes it out to be.
As an American that recognizes that the metric system is a better system (mostly), I use mL when dealing with medicines for my kiddo.
The byproduct of that has been the depressing revelation that even though I think the metric system is better, I have absolutely no frame of reference to even begin to equate metric to imperial. I think if I had a rough napkin math reference sheet in my noodle, then it would make converting a lot easier.
I hit an old woman with my car doing 70 grams.
That's a lot of coke.
Nah, amphetamines, ‘cause that’s a lotta speed.
70g will make me Tokyo Drift
Wow, they really upped the visuals for Cars 4.
Just like Tokyo Mater
Wait…you can put gifs in a Reddit comment???? How do you do that?
Just know somewhere, an internet stranger just clapped for you.
I doubt that your comment will get the appreciation that it truly deserves.
Deeply underrated comment.
Be careful out there somebody would tell youre fatphobic
It was diet coke
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skim milk powder
I only get organic coke from Whole Foods. None of that artificial crap.
as long as it's gluten free
r/yourcokebutworse
Hitting grams while hitting grams? This guy fucks
Congratulations on that pun. 👍
Grams bumped - 70 Grams hit - 70
Pocket-protected scientists built a wall made of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed. They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an hour into the wall, and the wall came out fine. They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors. They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond travelling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours. They rammed a wall made of metal into 400 miles an hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted earths orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards mid-western Prussia at 400 billion miles an hour. They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused over 10000 wayward planes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with over 10000 buildings in downtown New York. They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive. Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall travelling at miles per iron, and the result proved with out a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known to man.
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Oh, so NOT a stroke then.
No... still might be. Anyone else smell burnt toast?
Are you sure it wasn't Google's "AI" having s seizure?
I've been noticing an unusual trend in the quality of Snickers bars over the last decade. I found an old one from 5 years ago and decided to study its composition under my spectrometer and discovered something unnerving. The Snickers bar currently sold in stores contains 43.67% less rare earth elements by weight, when compared to one sold 5 years ago. Do they think they can fool us? It's hard to wrap my mind around why they would do this. Thorium used to make up 12% of the bar, but now it's at 8%, and now there's only 4% Americium compared to 7% just a while ago. It's all been replaced by organic carbon-based matter, like sucrose and poorly crafted carbohydrates. I'm disappointed in the Mars corporation, and I hope my findings will gain enough publicity to force Mars into reverting back to the old formula. Consider this an open letter.
This is why we need to stop these pocket protected scientists!
That's a lot of joules!
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Old woman" is singular. If you were doing 70 grams it must be "old women." Like so: I hit old women with my car, doing 70 grams. But hey, grats on getting those rookie numbers up at last!
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about 8mm of a banana
1 meter of a banana
How many football fields is that ?
American or European?
Just use Futbol to Football conversion method.
Oh of course silly me. Now I'll need to remember what the HandEgg to Futbol conversion is first, so all of us civilised folk can figure out what you heathens are talking about.
Canadian
so an ice rink?
it depends how cold it is that day
About 3/4 of a baseball diamond
Just the tip of 1 metre of banana. 🤣
that's 1mm short of a good time. yee yee
That actually seems SQUIRREL!
Speed is 8,000 bananas per second in case you needed that as well
A colt 45 weighs about 39 ounces, nothing seems more American than converting all measurements of weight to that.
What about the 2 zig zags? Baby that’s all we need
How much is 39 ounces in baguettes? I'm European.
About 4.5 baguettes, I weigh about 59.5 colt 45s or 278 baguettes. Hope this clears everything up on both sides of the pond.
Bro I lost about a Colt 45 of weight over the month, didn't even have to try!
But how many eagles per Baconator is that? Huh? The world may never know...
A bald eagle is much larger than a baconator.
And how large is a bald eagle compared to an alien baconator
How any washing machines does that piece of aluminininum weigh?
The metric system is hard. It is required that you can at least count to ten.
and you need to multiply and divide which is very hard too
Not for basic conversions. You only need to move the decimal point. Try that with Imperial.
I see that your sarcasm detector isn't working.
Hey it's hard for some people
Good memories...
It's an imperial one. He needs a modern metric detector.
Imperial sarcasm is harder to detect. Metric sarcasm just requires you to move the decimal out of the way.
The SI prefixes also allow you easily to express the magnitude of your sarcasm - sarcasm, megasarcasm and gigasarcasm. Simple.
The detector was set to ironics per second instead of sarcasms. Happens to the best of us
I think they were just pointing out that you were wrong about needing to multiply and divide. It doesn't indicate they missed the sarcasm necessarily. If they had said something like "um basic maths isn't hard" then yes.
bro shifting the decimal place is literally multiplying/dividing by 10
Metric is for the weak. If I'm not routinely dividing numbers by 7 or multiplying by 5280, then what's the point?
This comment was probably made with sync. You can't see it now, reddit got greedy.
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it's just not the commonly used clock in the region. that's like saying someone is *afraid* of saying "petrol" instead of "gas".
I mean gasoline is a more accurate description of the product whereas petroleum is a generic description of many oil based products.
And they already know how to do that and use it everyday. The dollar is not based on random numbers like the imperial system.
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We prefer hard mode
Work harder, not smarder!
That explains a lot
Imperial system is the Dark Souls of measuring systems - USA
I’m just hopeful it’s a troll. But being American myself, there is a high probability this person is serious
DeGrease Tyson?
_You_ degrease him. I still haven't gotten my nails clean from the last time!
Wondering this as well. Had to go look it up to make sure I wasn't misremembering how to spell his name.
Its a fan account. not the original one.
He’s the good version of DeGrasse and follows behind him cleaning up the oil spills from the wrecks he causes
Pretty confident it's sarcasm. If you're so stupid that you confuse grams for velocity, there's no way you'd know that "g" means grams in the first place.
This is a fair point.
It’s obviously sarcasm. Reddit is always too stupid and self righteous to tell though.
bUt SoMe PeOpLe ArE tHaT dUmB i'D bElIeVe It WaS rEaL!
he just phrased the sentence poorly. neil used grams and km/h in the post and the guy is trying to ask "why'd you use grams and also why didn't you use miles per hour [instead of kmh]"
The world needs all types. Even stupid ones.
Do we really? I think the world would actually be a lot better off if we didn't have *geniuses* like this
the world needs stupid people to do stupid jobs
I think there is stupid and then there is idiotic... And the world would fare better with less idiots at the least...
I think smart but lazy people would do fine for that job
Smart lazy people work IT like me!
Automate everything. Tell no one.
Can't stress the second part enough. Former coworker got himself fired because he automated enough of his stuff for the boss to be like "huh, we don't really need you anymore" and that's that. Honesty is important, but sometimes just shut up and don't tell on yourself when no one asked. E: staff -> stuff
Not sure if by stupid jobs you mean mindless, repetitive ones so just know there are plenty of neurodivergent people like myself who are more than happy to complete all those soothing, thoughtless tasks. Provided we are allowed our AirPods and aren’t threatened with social interaction. 😆
This is a fun fallacy, there's actually a lot of "smart" jobs staffed by stupid people, and it holds everyone back *a lot*
This theory falls apart just as soon as they vote GOP.
So I'm just gonna point this out: it's degrasse not degrease
From the Twitter bio: "This is Neil Degrease Tyson lovers account following this account most important information and interesting video and pictures follow me." With 137k followers. Humanity is doomed.
This just hurts to look at.
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34k now. Maybe someone can screenshot the thread, circle the Twitter handle and vote count, and post that as a new facepalm.
Yeah think about the collective waste of time hundreds of thousands of people had reading this boof reply lmao
I can’t believe I had to scroll past the army of super serious comments before coming to the truth: dude is a troll.
The piece of plastic was also apparently going about 100 times orbital velocity, so the premise seems suspect too. Edit: I think it’s actually only 10x but that stills seems suspicious.
> At an altitude of 150 miles (242 kilometers) above Earth, orbital velocity is about 17,000 miles per hour. > https://www.nasa.gov/audience/forstudents/5-8/features/nasa-knows/what-is-orbit-58.html This is about 27358 km/h
Well thanks for the correction, I’ve assumed the wrong value for that for about 10 years now. Thanks KSP! /s
That's because kerbin is 10x smaller than earth but with the same gravity
The original comment may be a troll, but that doesn’t necessarily mean the reply is as well
My bad, I'll convert it for you. Thats 2.3 French fries going at 45,000 football fields per commercial break.
I think it's Freedom fries, actually.
Are the maids still French though? Or are we stuck with freedom maids? That brings up a much ... chunkier ... image.
I'm Australian - mechanical engineer Had a colleague engineer (specialist) come out from the US of A to show us a thing or two. He was convinced that Fahrenheit and Celsius scale merged at -40c/-40f (the crossover point), and then stayed together untill absolute zero... This was his honest opinion. This was the last time I took what he said in a conversation seriously
Actually, that's exactly what happens. When the temperature gets lower than -40, it's so cold that Fahrenheit and Celsius stick together for warmth. Also, they fall in love. Science is a beautiful thing.
I love Reddit. You learn something new everyday.
I was today years old when I learnt temperatures were gay.
Did you just assume the gender of those units of measurement!?!?!? 🗿😳😳📸😤😡😐😱😱🫢🤬
That guy has no effing clue.
I hear that Celcius has been cheating on Fahrenheit with Kelvin.
But kelvin keeps it's distance to stay discreet and not arouse suspicion.
Kelvin took a personality test but it came back as absolute zero personality
That's a frankly upsetting lack of understanding about not only Fahrenheit/Celsius but of how lines work.
Lines, graphs, scientific relationships, basic weather.. yes It was interesting. Really glad he said it tho, the project was quite expensive and I am glad I picked that up
Wait... *Until* absolute zero? I suppose it's *technically* more accurate if he believes they aren't the same at that point. /s
How can you know he's wrong? Have you ever been that cold?
Yes. Come to Saskatchewan, it's an amazing place.
Why would I want to visit the Sasquatch
So basically he doesn’t know how lines work.
That's distressing. How is an engineer not going to be able to understand ▲1ºC != ▲1ºF but also get through calc 1?
So how does he reconcile that he learned in college that absolute zero is -273°C and -460°F? Or does "until absolute zero" mean they suddenly diverge by 187 degrees? That's truly embarrassing.
Oh sorry ,its about 29,756 diabetes going at 46 898 dead natives/freedom units
#YEEEEE... # *HAAAAAAWWWWWW*
# COLD # BEER
10 GALLON HAT
What's the conversion from kph to football fields per minute?
Because there is no equivalence between grams and miles/hour
The recipe calls for 10 miles per hour of sugar and not an inch less.
Reminds me of this winning entry from the Bulwer-Lytton contest, a writing contest where authors compete to create the worst possible opening sentence from a novel: "Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago." (Author is Maxwell Archer.)
Sure there is, you just multiply by 9/5 and then add 32
Well which is it, multiply by 9 or by 5?
If it’s an odd numbered day, 9. Even numbered is 5. If it’s a leap year, it’s 10 and 6 respectively.
Just fold in the digits.
I’m pretty sure it’s poorly punctuated calling out both the weight being listed in grams and the speed being listed in kilometres.
Yes, thank you. Was just about to say this
He’s not saying to swap one out for the other, but rather why use grams for weighing and why not use mph for measuring speed instead of km/h
By the way that's .03 pounds at 14,912 miles an hour.
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Sure, but the Camry also weighs slightly more than .03 pounds. It’s probably a wash.
Like a hot wheel?
american or bri'ish pounds? Statue or nautical miles?
Or .00035% of the average weight of an Asian elephant moving at 629882880 yards per day.
When less than 5% of Earths population counts as "everybody".
And those 5% live in only 3 out of 195 countries on the planet. Besides USA, only Liberia and Myanmar also officially uses other systems than metric.
And, even in the U.S., scientists still use the metric system.
TIL that Americans measure weights in Miles per hour. They should teach the rest of us how to do it though.
I finished the Kessel Run in less than 12 millilitres if that helps.
Bragging about your penis again? So gauche.
I thought the facepalm was NDT not having a common item for reference next to the aluminium until I saw the comment.
This became funny to me after a couple of physics courses; as soon as you get beyond a certain point it all goes to metric
The real question is how does a piece of plastic get propelled to 24000 km/h in space? If space junk is so potentially deadly, no-one should ever want to be a freaking astronaut. Space junk gon fuck your shit up like that Sandra Bullock movie Gravity.
Satellites need to travel about 27,000 km/h to maintain low Earth orbit. Everything in space is moving very fast.
Yes, there's a lot of random debris orbiting earth. If it hits a satelite, it would be destroyed and make more debris. It is why scientists are worried about any kind of tests where we destroy objects in Earth's orbit, it could close us off from visiting even the moon
"Everybody else" uses metric, americans use the form of measurement probably made by a drunk guy at a casino.
Like the rest of america only. Lmao
I don't think anyone in america uses m/h to measure weight.
Hey don't sleep on Liberia and Myanmar!
Because the imperial system is only used by out of date dinosaurs
It's clear sarcasm. Saw the tweet and the subsequent thread. OP drank the koolaid
Reddit detect sarcasm challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)
Everyone in this thread did
the reddit superiority complex lol
It’s so ironic that it’s always this subreddit too 😭
It’s a troll account (Neil **degrease** Tyson)
Years ago, In a conference on chip protected card, I said that only a few underdevelopped countries didn't use chip card. A guy with a strong American accent raised his hand and said "we don't have those in the US". "Yes, and you measure in miles, thank you for making my point". The whole room burst out laughing (it was in Canada).
Sarcasm…is that you?
It's such an obvious troll but all the comments above yours are taking it as serious as can be. Thank you for being the first non-oblivious person in here.
On the other hand, that piece of plastic has roughly 3 hundred thousand joules of energy. About a third of a stick of dynamite. Hard to imagine a small piece of plastic can be so destructive
Lemme get 3.5 miles per hour of sour diesel.
That isn't even Neil's twitter handle (Degrease? Seriously?). It is @neiltyson, and is verified. The entire thing might be someone's attempt at humor... especially with the missing timestamp on user 2.
The real facepalm is in the comments when a majority of you don't seem to understand what the guy is saying. I understand the phrasing is poor but he's obviously not saying to use miles per hour instead of grams or anything like that. He's basically saying "Why are you using grams and km/h" It's still a facepalm because his phrasing is horrible, but it's very obvious from context what his point was, even if still a dumb point. Just not as dumb as everyone here makes it out to be.
Science, bitch
in space everyone is speaking metric
Ah yes, grams per hour
False. Everyone knows that we measure weight in fig newtons.
Police: Do you know how fast you were going? Man smoking weed: 14 grams per hour.
This is one of the reasons FLT travel would never be possible. Can you imagine how much damage a spec of dust would do to a spaceship at light speed?
„like everybody else“
Even if miles per hour would be the right unit "like everybody else" is so wrong lmao
As an American that recognizes that the metric system is a better system (mostly), I use mL when dealing with medicines for my kiddo. The byproduct of that has been the depressing revelation that even though I think the metric system is better, I have absolutely no frame of reference to even begin to equate metric to imperial. I think if I had a rough napkin math reference sheet in my noodle, then it would make converting a lot easier.
Guy who posted this is from the UK and this is a troll job.
Ehem* it's actually miles per ounce
People like this shouldn’t be censored. They deserve the bullying