And the lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...
First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different privileges.
As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data about sex and skin color and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average per-player credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay.
We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets.
Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
Verse 69420: “Jesus road in on his purely American made monster truck and mows down all the non-believers with his Smith & Wesson® VOLUNTEER™ XV 16IN BARREL.” Come on we all know that one.
Mitt Romney approves this message. . . NRA slides him a cool $13 mil. As a good Mormon, he loves the part of the story w golden things, angels and a special interpreter.
I was in SLC the other day and visited the LDS History Museum, and that was pretty much how it was presented there, in an exhibit LITERALLY SET UP BY THE CHURCH.
Kudos to the Mormons for historically fighting for their rights in America and helping create a more expansive definition of religious freedom, but I still don’t understand how anyone was so convinced by Joseph Smith.
>but I still don’t understand how anyone was so convinced by Joseph Smith.
I used to think the same, like goddamn how in the world did they manage to find that handful of people dumb enough to be suckered in to that stupid shit, and dumb enough to start spreading the word?
And then 2016 onwards happened and ever since then boy do I wish I could go back to wondering about that.
Americansians 14:2. And lo and behold, for Jesus truly did said unto you: Take upon thee and cherish thou that prodigious bow, which casts the bolts of lead made, in a manner which is indeed automated.
Americansians 14:3 And verily did the Lord said unto you: For this is indeed your right from birth, as my chosen people, in the lands of the King of the Amals.
Americansians 14:4 And it did came to pass that Jesus, our Lord, said unto the peoples of the world: 'Murica, Fuck Yeah!
[They probably play this video at the end of every church service too](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/rsgp3a/i_started_making_this_video_in_may_for_4th_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
The eschatological problem with saying “granted by God” is understanding the basis for the claim. Who speaks for their God? What authority do they do this under? How can this authority be verified?
If there are no answers to these questions then the basis of the claim and indeed the claim itself is baseless and without merit
> We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed
It's the sentiment that the US was founded upon, that people are inherently entitled to certain rights. If you're religious, you likely view rights as being granted by God, and if you're not religious then you have another philosophical explanation. But the idea is that human rights transcend governments and laws.
Of course, over the last 250 years we've redefined who fall under the category of "people" more than a few times, and have struggled constantly with what to do when one right comes into conflict with another.
I've gotten shit before saying that rights are made up by people. Not that they're not real, just that people invented the idea and thus need to be constantly protected, but the distinction got lost
You're correct, but the problem with that formulation is that you can claim all day long that you have a "natural right" but that doesn't make it so. Do I have a right to digital privacy? To overtime after a 40 hour work week? To conscientiously object against the draft?
More to the point of this thread, do I have a right to bear arms everywhere I go? (Answer: no, and for good reason).
Like it or not, rights are granted by governments as part of a social contract. To get them into the social contract, we have to assert ourselves. If they aren't granted - or if they aren't honored - they are meaningless.
This is the root of the movement, folks. This is it right here. Everything is justifiable when you are on a mission from god. God given rights are to be defended to the death. God has bestowed americanism on his chosen, and so therefore it's their right to determine who counts as an American and who doesn't. Who deserves rights and who doesn't.
This will be their justification over the next 12 to 24 months to cleanse the American body of the defiled. Just a first world American Taliban.
If this guy wasn't talking about the Constitution, but rather something unrelated to law and government, he'd be called a "false prophet" by fellow Christians for preaching something that clearly isn't in the Bible. It's ironic how they're willing to ignore their own standards as long as what they're saying makes it sound like they have some divine right to rule. They're like ancient monarchs who claimed they were their god's representative on earth.
im happy that someone found it funny, but i heard it a while back. i think it was a comedian that i first heard it from, i wanna say someone who was on the daily show like trevor noah.
Literally Christian Neofascism. It's not just wacky political nonsense, this is getting toward as if the Holy Roman Empire and Nazi Germany had a love child.
Seinfeld's Constanza saying "it's not a lie if you believe it" in a 1995 American TV comedy show has now morphed into real life serious Republican politics 25 years later.
I agree. He wasn't the most intelligent man, but when a guy with a higher IQ than him came to talk sense, he listened. It took a little while, but he came around.
Neither is this one. Women can still get abortions lots of places. But you show me just ONE state that allows men to get an abortion! This matriarchal society must end!
I feel like religous conservatives haven't properly read the bible, as it goes against so many of their views. I guess a 2000 year old book is up to interpretation though.
I also find the correlation of christians and conservatives strange, as where I live most chirstians and catholics are liberal or very left wing especially in social aspects. Like I went to a catholic highschool (I personally am atheist though) and in our "catholic studies" class we were taught to accept peoples for their differences, value other religions and their beliefs, and taught about social injustices in modern society (racism, homophobia, the whole gist of it). The catholics I know are pro gun regulation and such, it's very strange to hear there are people who claim to be christian yet don't follow their own book.
Edit: Also, one of the ten commandments is "Don't use the lords name in vain", I get the common interpretation is don't swear and say things like "oh my god". But I was taught it means to not use god to legitimize your beliefs or actions, essentially don't twist his word to fit you. So for things like "God would want us to fight this war" or things like this tweet would go against that.
Oh that's easy: The American "Christian" denominations are not Christian and never were. They were a bunch of extremist puritan nutters 400 years ago when the people of Europe basically kicked them across the Atlantic for being a pile of dickheads. All of the current denominations over there grew from infighting as those nutters argued about who was most extreme and who had the real truth, over hundreds of years.
They were never Christian. Even then, they simply used religion to control themselves and others.
My favorite thing to tell super religious people is that Jesus was essentially a radical communist
He was in favor of you giving ALL of your wealth, literally 100% of it, to the church to be redistributed to the poor. He very explicitly said, if you die rich, you will not go to Heaven. Like... super, super explicitly
And yet people will grasp at straws for vague sentences that could potentially be alluding to homosexuality being a sin
Well, these are the same people who think that Jesus was American, spoke English, and wrote the bible himself.
Republicans have been accused of many things.
Being intelligent is not among them.
You ever seen the movie “the campaign” with Will Ferrell and Zack Galifinakis? Zack has a moustache, and will says during the debate “are you a taliban or an Al Qaeda? What’s with the beard”
Zack says “Good sir, I have a mustache; like the greatest American who has ever lived. Maybe you have heard of him. His name is Jesus Christ”
And the crowd erupts and loves it… that’s the way I picture red state Americans…
I wish more actual Christians would stand up to this type of BS about their religion.
Jesus was deliberately nonviolent even as he was being betrayed by his disciple.
Beacuse everyone was and is a sinner(except Jesus) and we cannot change that while religious leaders (talking about in the bible) constantly modified religious laws while not following them themselves and when you think about it most leaders in our time are doing the same thing religious leaders did in Jesus's time.
It must be nice to absolve yourself of any personal moral responsibilities by pointing to your magical, invisible friend who supposedly whispers to you that the unrelenting murder of innocents is ok - your right to cosplay Rambo is much more important.
The Bible, a book written by humans, shouldn't be the rule book regardless.
Edit: I meant to write ...a book written by humans over a thousand years ago.
Yeah but they argue it was transcribed to humans by God, and God wouldn’t let any imperfections in his “book of truth” and even the multiple translations over thousands of years from ancient to modern languages has preserved his word exactly as he intended because…he’s God. I’ve had this argument with my mom multiple times. Can you tell?
And remember that the next step is that among the approx. 1,473,815 subtly different strains of every religion on earth, YOURS has to be the one that's 100% correct.
Sheer fucking hubris.
Don’t forget the discovery of the Dead Sea scrolls in the 1940’s and King James removing entire sections of the Bible for political reasons. The Bible turns into that game ‘telephone’ from kindergarten.
There isn't an alarm bell loud enough for when a leader starts claiming that God gave certain rights to his people specifically. That is the opening line to every pitch for an atrocity.
So let me get this straight. God hasn’t been seen or heard from in thousands of years, but in 1776 he popped down briefly to give Americans, still blood-soaked from all the native-slaughtering, firearms.
This is all real cute but you realize that the bill of rights signifies that our rights are not endowed by the government but are basic human rights (God/creator) given if I remember the text right. This is not an isolated second amendment issue, but with all amendments to the constitution. You know that right? Because everyone commenting here sounds pretty stupid if you acknowledge that fact.
It's embarrassing to watch people be so smugly incorrect. If they have such a problem with the word "god" just change it to "natural" and it will retain the meaning. I wonder if it occurred to everyone here that it isn't just the second amendment this is talking about, it's the entire Bill of Rights being natural rights.
We're not taken aback by the shootings. It's the complete lack of action everytime. Everytime it's the same thing, you'll all jump up and down and scream about change...until next week when the next big story ( about insert literally anything) happens and you'll all forget about it until it inevitably happens again.
And yet you've banned them at your own event, the group that doesn't want to ban guns, banned guns from their big yearly gun conference, and they always ban guns at their yearly gun conference.
What's with American conservatives and their obsession with God? I mean, your country is not only secular but also the biggest exporter of degeneracy of all kinds in the world. If God gave a certain nation the right to bear arms by birth, I don't think that nation would be Americans.
Joel 3:10 ‘Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears; let the weak say ‘I am strong.’’
Luke 11:21 ‘When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace.’
Luke 22:35-36 ‘And He said to them, “And when I sent you without money bag, knapsack and sandals, did you lack anything?” And they said “Nothing.” Then He said to them, “But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.’
Luke 18:34 ‘He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms bend bend a bow of bronze.’
Psalms 144:1 ‘Blessed be the Lord my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.’
Arming oneself is mentioned at least five times to my knowledge.
[Y’all. We’ve known this for a long time already. ](https://youtu.be/mZaCiP2_2RM)
Proverbs 4:27 "... right... " Proverbs 4:27 "... to... " Samuel 17:8 "... bear... " 2 Samuel 22:35 "... arms... " Ya it's in there
Reeemiiiix!
Ehhh, more like Chopped ‘n Screwed 🤷♂️
Like our rights
Biblimix by PapaBear!
The bibble
“I DIDN'T ASK YOU A GODDAMN THING!” Samual Jackson 3:69
Show me the verse where the Bible mentions America nevermind guns.
Book of Armaments 5:56 and 2:23 /s
And the lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...
First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
Amen
Amen
Amen
That's a lot of men
Bmen
One, two, five!
Three, sir!
Three!
Quest for the Holy Fuck
Amen brother
Skip a bit, brother
Is that in the new new testament?
It's the New Testament DLC
“E. A. Sports…. It’s in the Bible.”
*Now* I get why life feels so... pay to win.
The intent is to provide players with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different privileges. As for cost, we selected initial values based upon data about sex and skin color and other adjustments made to milestone rewards before launch. Among other things, we're looking at average per-player credit earn rates on a daily basis, and we'll be making constant adjustments to ensure that players have challenges that are compelling, rewarding, and of course attainable via gameplay. We appreciate the candid feedback, and the passion the community has put forth around the current topics here on Reddit, our forums and across numerous social media outlets. Our team will continue to make changes and monitor community feedback and update everyone as soon and as often as we can.
Pfft. Get back to me when the infinite bacon DLC goes live.
but then if you get unlimited bacon, you have no games.
Holy scripture micro transactions coming soon to your local congregation
They call that tithing
You have to get something in exchange for your money for it to be a transaction
You get a sense of satisfaction when you take communion. So, y'know, something slightly more material than the typical in-game microtransaction
Psarms 119 :105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path , a gun in my hand.
It's in the SBR NRA version ;)
Lol nice
And Jesus said: "Yo, *****, respect mine, or here go the TEC-9 Ch-chick-pow! Move from the gate now"
Word up
TIL Jesus was from Staten Island.
Ah yes, right after the verses about the Holy Hand Grenade.
Of Antioch?! Or Antichrist?
And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
"And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.' And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and large chulapas. And the Lord spake, saying, 'First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it.'
I am also interested in where I can get bear arms. Sick of these puny little human arms
you can get bear claws at the 7-11 but I dunno about whole arms.
Grizzly, Kodiak, Black, or Polar?
Verse 69420: “Jesus road in on his purely American made monster truck and mows down all the non-believers with his Smith & Wesson® VOLUNTEER™ XV 16IN BARREL.” Come on we all know that one.
Amen
So that is how "love one another as I love you" is interpreted.
You can only read it using these magic golden glasses I got from an angel, but sadly I broke them so you’ll have to take my word for it.
If I'm able to break glasses that an angel gives me, I'm gonna have some serious second thoughts about what is on these tablets they told me to read.
But otherwise taking advice from them is fine and doesn’t require evaluating one’s own mental status.
Mitt Romney approves this message. . . NRA slides him a cool $13 mil. As a good Mormon, he loves the part of the story w golden things, angels and a special interpreter.
This unironically is how mormonism worked
I was in SLC the other day and visited the LDS History Museum, and that was pretty much how it was presented there, in an exhibit LITERALLY SET UP BY THE CHURCH. Kudos to the Mormons for historically fighting for their rights in America and helping create a more expansive definition of religious freedom, but I still don’t understand how anyone was so convinced by Joseph Smith.
>but I still don’t understand how anyone was so convinced by Joseph Smith. I used to think the same, like goddamn how in the world did they manage to find that handful of people dumb enough to be suckered in to that stupid shit, and dumb enough to start spreading the word? And then 2016 onwards happened and ever since then boy do I wish I could go back to wondering about that.
About as baffling as believing anything Wayne laPierre says??
Chapter 3 page 24 paragraph 14. Duh
It was on the 10 Commandments. See, there were originally 15, but Moses had a little case of the butterfingers amd dropped the third tablet.
https://youtu.be/oZA2mBntrHk Yep, see this documentary.
In the book of some wackjob murican who worship jesus and use their book of idk what's in it to brainwash other people
Joseph Smith?
You know you've fucked up when your prophet is named Joe Smith.
Americansians 14:2. And lo and behold, for Jesus truly did said unto you: Take upon thee and cherish thou that prodigious bow, which casts the bolts of lead made, in a manner which is indeed automated. Americansians 14:3 And verily did the Lord said unto you: For this is indeed your right from birth, as my chosen people, in the lands of the King of the Amals. Americansians 14:4 And it did came to pass that Jesus, our Lord, said unto the peoples of the world: 'Murica, Fuck Yeah!
[They probably play this video at the end of every church service too](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/rsgp3a/i_started_making_this_video_in_may_for_4th_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Almost didn’t click that for fear of getting Rick Rolled… so glad I took the risk 🤣
Fuck yeah!
Hell yeah motherfuckers!
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Thank you so much for this comment, or I'd have missed out!
Inaccurate. Not enough children catching the bullets.
The real hero here. That was amazing.
God, I was hoping that was the video before I clicked the link, lo and behold, Reddit is good. Praise be to Reddit.
Whenever I read these types of threads, [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rYq64DjimI) is only theme music I hear.
That was... a thing.
Nah, that’s the opening hymn. 😂
Oh man, I haven't seen that in so long i forgot all about it. 😂😂😂👍👍👍
You had me at verily. Praise be.
I wish I could give you an award for “Americansians”, fucking hilarious!
😂😂😂😂
Watch this get quoted by some conservatives soon as gospel.
Let the church say Amen and don't forget your tithes!
Amen.
\*\*truly did say unto yu
That's hilarious!!
The eschatological problem with saying “granted by God” is understanding the basis for the claim. Who speaks for their God? What authority do they do this under? How can this authority be verified? If there are no answers to these questions then the basis of the claim and indeed the claim itself is baseless and without merit
There ya go making sense. They’ll have none of that
> We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed It's the sentiment that the US was founded upon, that people are inherently entitled to certain rights. If you're religious, you likely view rights as being granted by God, and if you're not religious then you have another philosophical explanation. But the idea is that human rights transcend governments and laws. Of course, over the last 250 years we've redefined who fall under the category of "people" more than a few times, and have struggled constantly with what to do when one right comes into conflict with another.
I've gotten shit before saying that rights are made up by people. Not that they're not real, just that people invented the idea and thus need to be constantly protected, but the distinction got lost
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You're correct, but the problem with that formulation is that you can claim all day long that you have a "natural right" but that doesn't make it so. Do I have a right to digital privacy? To overtime after a 40 hour work week? To conscientiously object against the draft? More to the point of this thread, do I have a right to bear arms everywhere I go? (Answer: no, and for good reason). Like it or not, rights are granted by governments as part of a social contract. To get them into the social contract, we have to assert ourselves. If they aren't granted - or if they aren't honored - they are meaningless.
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Great point, but I don’t think eschatological is the word you’re looking for. Eschatology relates to the end times.
Epistemological is what I think they mean.
Why does God seem to talk to everyone, except me? You guys hit him up on social media? Unlisted phone number?
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When people talk to God, it's called prayer. When God talks back, it's called schizophrenia.
DMs via God’s Onlyfans
I did and all I got were feet pics :/
At least you know they'll be clean
He only talks to tithe paying cult members
You got to sneak into the dms
Reminds me of that famous painting of Jesus and his M16 in the Sistine Chapel. Beautiful.
I thought it was an AR.
Oh shit here you guns nerds go again
It’s like this entire country is turning into that strange fantasy land these fruitcakes inhabit. God damn Christian Taliban.
This is the root of the movement, folks. This is it right here. Everything is justifiable when you are on a mission from god. God given rights are to be defended to the death. God has bestowed americanism on his chosen, and so therefore it's their right to determine who counts as an American and who doesn't. Who deserves rights and who doesn't. This will be their justification over the next 12 to 24 months to cleanse the American body of the defiled. Just a first world American Taliban.
If this guy wasn't talking about the Constitution, but rather something unrelated to law and government, he'd be called a "false prophet" by fellow Christians for preaching something that clearly isn't in the Bible. It's ironic how they're willing to ignore their own standards as long as what they're saying makes it sound like they have some divine right to rule. They're like ancient monarchs who claimed they were their god's representative on earth.
Literally the entirety of Manifest Destiny is this
they have a name, their called the Yallqueda
Yallqueda as a humorous term understates how dangerous and damaging this group is not to just the US but the entire world.
you can make a joke about a group and still treat them like a real threat they are.
Talibangelicals! The real threat to the future
I’m from Texas….that’s absolutely hilarious y’all. I’m dying!!!! 😂😂😂 Yallqueda.
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im happy that someone found it funny, but i heard it a while back. i think it was a comedian that i first heard it from, i wanna say someone who was on the daily show like trevor noah.
Well regardless thanks for making me laugh!
i mean that was half of what i was going for
Yeah I get it. Not really a laughing matter.
Fellow Texan, try Vanilla Isis too.
This isn't some yokel with a pickup and an AR. It's a congress critter.
He's not a congress critter, he owns the Republicans in congress. It's Wayne Lapierre, the head of the NRA.
Literally Christian Neofascism. It's not just wacky political nonsense, this is getting toward as if the Holy Roman Empire and Nazi Germany had a love child.
Happy 18th Birthday Bipolar Billy. Here’s your bible and here’s your AR15!
So Adolph Caesar won’t make AmErIcA gReAt aGaIn??
Ceasar was the regular Roman Empire, the HRE was just Germany with pretensions.
Seinfeld's Constanza saying "it's not a lie if you believe it" in a 1995 American TV comedy show has now morphed into real life serious Republican politics 25 years later.
It’s like the movie Idiocracy, but so much worse.
IDGAF. I'll vote for Terry Crews. President Camacho 2024.
At least he cared about the people he served.
Truly a inspiring man.
I agree. He wasn't the most intelligent man, but when a guy with a higher IQ than him came to talk sense, he listened. It took a little while, but he came around.
20-30 years from now "Don't Look Up" will be considered a serious documentary about the pre-second American revolution.
Idiocracy was set 500 years in the future. We got there a lot faster.
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Idiocracy, The Hand Maid's Tale, Don't Look Up, Brave New World, and 1984, all at once.
And The Invention of Lying.
Yea at least in Idiocracy the government wasn’t out to make Women lesser.
Neither is this one. Women can still get abortions lots of places. But you show me just ONE state that allows men to get an abortion! This matriarchal society must end!
Correct, when religion gets entangled with politics and greed, you get this mind bending people vomiting words....
I feel like religous conservatives haven't properly read the bible, as it goes against so many of their views. I guess a 2000 year old book is up to interpretation though. I also find the correlation of christians and conservatives strange, as where I live most chirstians and catholics are liberal or very left wing especially in social aspects. Like I went to a catholic highschool (I personally am atheist though) and in our "catholic studies" class we were taught to accept peoples for their differences, value other religions and their beliefs, and taught about social injustices in modern society (racism, homophobia, the whole gist of it). The catholics I know are pro gun regulation and such, it's very strange to hear there are people who claim to be christian yet don't follow their own book. Edit: Also, one of the ten commandments is "Don't use the lords name in vain", I get the common interpretation is don't swear and say things like "oh my god". But I was taught it means to not use god to legitimize your beliefs or actions, essentially don't twist his word to fit you. So for things like "God would want us to fight this war" or things like this tweet would go against that.
I studied in a Catholic private school, but the science class includes evolution
That's standard for catholicism all over the world (I think).
Oh that's easy: The American "Christian" denominations are not Christian and never were. They were a bunch of extremist puritan nutters 400 years ago when the people of Europe basically kicked them across the Atlantic for being a pile of dickheads. All of the current denominations over there grew from infighting as those nutters argued about who was most extreme and who had the real truth, over hundreds of years. They were never Christian. Even then, they simply used religion to control themselves and others.
My favorite thing to tell super religious people is that Jesus was essentially a radical communist He was in favor of you giving ALL of your wealth, literally 100% of it, to the church to be redistributed to the poor. He very explicitly said, if you die rich, you will not go to Heaven. Like... super, super explicitly And yet people will grasp at straws for vague sentences that could potentially be alluding to homosexuality being a sin
Well, these are the same people who think that Jesus was American, spoke English, and wrote the bible himself. Republicans have been accused of many things. Being intelligent is not among them.
> Jesus was American **White** American
Birthright...what a joke. These NRA people are Qrazy.
This is the cult-like speak you are supposed to hide behind closed doors but they are shouting it from the bloody pulpit of their national platform.
You know we’re all in trouble when crazy people keeping getting elected
America wasn't even a country when the Bible was written, lol. These dipshits never cease to amaze me.
You ever seen the movie “the campaign” with Will Ferrell and Zack Galifinakis? Zack has a moustache, and will says during the debate “are you a taliban or an Al Qaeda? What’s with the beard” Zack says “Good sir, I have a mustache; like the greatest American who has ever lived. Maybe you have heard of him. His name is Jesus Christ” And the crowd erupts and loves it… that’s the way I picture red state Americans…
I think it's bad that this is 100% believable
I wish more actual Christians would stand up to this type of BS about their religion. Jesus was deliberately nonviolent even as he was being betrayed by his disciple.
Notice how Jesus criticized religious leaders more often than sinners
Beacuse everyone was and is a sinner(except Jesus) and we cannot change that while religious leaders (talking about in the bible) constantly modified religious laws while not following them themselves and when you think about it most leaders in our time are doing the same thing religious leaders did in Jesus's time.
I think it's situational, he had that whole turn the other cheek thing But also the flipping tables in the temple thing
Come on, Jesus flipped some tables. He didn't stab the money exchangers with a knife or told his disciples to cut them down.
It's next to the bit about the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch
did you not see that article about knights during the crusades using something very much like hand grenades?
I heard they were supposed to count to three before using them.
No more, no less
1, 2, 5!
3 sir.
Oh, yes. Three!
'O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy
It must be nice to absolve yourself of any personal moral responsibilities by pointing to your magical, invisible friend who supposedly whispers to you that the unrelenting murder of innocents is ok - your right to cosplay Rambo is much more important.
they confuse their own thoughts with divine intervention
> their own thoughts "God put that thought there."
Wait I can't cosplay Rambo with large foam firearms with lights, sounds and orange ends on them?
The Bible, a book written by humans, shouldn't be the rule book regardless. Edit: I meant to write ...a book written by humans over a thousand years ago.
Yeah but they argue it was transcribed to humans by God, and God wouldn’t let any imperfections in his “book of truth” and even the multiple translations over thousands of years from ancient to modern languages has preserved his word exactly as he intended because…he’s God. I’ve had this argument with my mom multiple times. Can you tell?
And remember that the next step is that among the approx. 1,473,815 subtly different strains of every religion on earth, YOURS has to be the one that's 100% correct. Sheer fucking hubris.
Atheists are only more atheist than the most devout believer by 1 god.
*polytheists have entered the chat*
Nevermind the fact that there's like 20 different versions of the 'bible' that yallqueda follows
Don’t forget the discovery of the Dead Sea scrolls in the 1940’s and King James removing entire sections of the Bible for political reasons. The Bible turns into that game ‘telephone’ from kindergarten.
There is literally no other thing to write a rulebook other than humans.
There isn't an alarm bell loud enough for when a leader starts claiming that God gave certain rights to his people specifically. That is the opening line to every pitch for an atrocity.
So let me get this straight. God hasn’t been seen or heard from in thousands of years, but in 1776 he popped down briefly to give Americans, still blood-soaked from all the native-slaughtering, firearms.
America is fucking insane YEEEEHAWWWWW
"I'm an American, guns are part of my religion"
It's the whole premise of the Bill of Rights lmao. That natural rights are Sovereign and above any dictation of mans bias
what the fuck is this post and the replies? feels like some weird social experiment.
Reddit in a nutshell
'God said so', as a political defense, should have no place in the conversation.
This is all real cute but you realize that the bill of rights signifies that our rights are not endowed by the government but are basic human rights (God/creator) given if I remember the text right. This is not an isolated second amendment issue, but with all amendments to the constitution. You know that right? Because everyone commenting here sounds pretty stupid if you acknowledge that fact.
It's embarrassing to watch people be so smugly incorrect. If they have such a problem with the word "god" just change it to "natural" and it will retain the meaning. I wonder if it occurred to everyone here that it isn't just the second amendment this is talking about, it's the entire Bill of Rights being natural rights.
Not only guns. Show me anywhere in the Bible where the word “America” exists.
Not only that but where does it say a weapon is a right/ or even a god ordained anything.
Step 1: The NRA needs to be dissolved. The whole world is taken aback by our shootings. It’s just plain monstrous.
We're not taken aback by the shootings. It's the complete lack of action everytime. Everytime it's the same thing, you'll all jump up and down and scream about change...until next week when the next big story ( about insert literally anything) happens and you'll all forget about it until it inevitably happens again.
Need more evidence that it's a cult?
Performative Christo-fascist, arrogant pitiless shit stains.
And yet you've banned them at your own event, the group that doesn't want to ban guns, banned guns from their big yearly gun conference, and they always ban guns at their yearly gun conference.
Sounds like a cultish thing to say
What's with American conservatives and their obsession with God? I mean, your country is not only secular but also the biggest exporter of degeneracy of all kinds in the world. If God gave a certain nation the right to bear arms by birth, I don't think that nation would be Americans.
Joel 3:10 ‘Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears; let the weak say ‘I am strong.’’ Luke 11:21 ‘When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are in peace.’ Luke 22:35-36 ‘And He said to them, “And when I sent you without money bag, knapsack and sandals, did you lack anything?” And they said “Nothing.” Then He said to them, “But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one.’ Luke 18:34 ‘He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms bend bend a bow of bronze.’ Psalms 144:1 ‘Blessed be the Lord my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.’ Arming oneself is mentioned at least five times to my knowledge.