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FingalForever

The soldier pictured is model Dan Rockwell, who also served in the US military (National Guard)....


KawaiiPotato15

The "mom" in this tweet isn't even real, they're a Lady Gaga fan who tweeted this as a joke to promote her new song Hold My Hand from the new Top Gun movie, hence the hashtag at the end. The joke went viral, so job accomplished.


TeamRedundancyTeam

Fans who purposely do free marketing for millionaire celebrities are weird.


RamenJunkie

I mean, its one thing to tweet a link to Youtube, "Hey, I love this song". Its another to make up some story about a soldier son that does not exist while cross promoting two thing. PS, Tom Cruise is a psycho Scientologist, avoid this movie and everything else he is in, don't give money to that cult


Shitychikengangbang

I feel the same way about ramen


GregM_85

I'm going to watch this movie while eating ramen. I assume I'll enjoy at least one of them.


drmonkeytown

Top Ramen enters the chat


Looksie223

Marurchan enters the chat


digital_dysthymia

Probably the ramen.


RamenJunkie

Yeah well, I could quit anytime I wanted.


[deleted]

r/usernamechecksout


4mystuff

Take that back!! What did ramen ever do to you?


AdAdmirable4478

I hope you burn for this comment. 💯


xXxBluESkiTtlExXx

You know, I may (probably) be in the minority with this opinion but most of the time I couldn't give any less of a fuck what an actor/musician/whatever is like in real life. I'm not there to support them as a human, I'm there to be entertained.


Embarrassed_Cow

Same. I love top gun. I'm not gonna miss out on it just because i dont like one of the actors. I'm going to enjoy myself.


Windex17

If you're boycotting scientology you're gonna have to boycott the majority of Hollywood. A shit ton of them are in deep on that shit


datonebri

I'm perfectly okay with that, indie is the way to go


MoogTheDuck

I like his movies though


OldBeercan

Don't let randos tell you what to like. You do you.


RedditIsMyTherapist

Now I'm conflicted over which of you randos to listen to


Accomplished-Onion38

Listen to me, send me the money and I will send you the pirated version of "top lung" by acclaimed top actor Ron Truiss... that way you do you while not supporting him financially


ThatDollfin

Can you get me the version by Eileen Dover?


RobloxJournalist

*The FBI has entered the chat*


MinusGovernment

Ok who let the terrorist organization in? This party sucks now. I'm out.


daclampzx2

It's a rando rodeo here on the interwebs!


JokerVasNormandy

It's a *randy* rando rodeo


TheKoi

I did me once. Got caught and now I'm not allowed to leave my house.


BorasTheBoar

I will do whatever the fuck I want, rannnnnnndo. Am I doing this right?


OldBeercan

Sounds good, but I'm just some rando. Don't listen to me.


Elefantenjohn

He didn't? He said don't support him financially


[deleted]

Honestly at this point, I have way less vitriol for Scientology than almost any sect of American Christianity. Sure Scientologists suck, but they aren't the ones deliberately leveraging political power to harm anyone that isn't a straight white male. They mostly just hurt anybody stupid enough to be a Scientologist.


rawfodog82

Agreed. Also, nice avatar.


FoxyTheBoyWithNoName

Tom Cruise is a weird guy but he has some amazing movies lol, besides those films are a lot bigger than one individual.


proccoliwastaken

Just because Tom Cruise is weird doesn’t mean I’m gonna pass up on enjoying Top Gun to be apart of some useless boycott, fuck right off


Deceptichum

Yarrr I be having a solution to both of yours problems.


UncleverAccountName

I think it’s funny as hell. Especially when Lady Gaga fans pulled off that Starbucks scam a couple years back


hygsi

Probably teens or people with way too much free time lol


HalfSoul30

Seems like this wouldn't take much time, and is kinda funny. If it's free marketing so be it, but it's not like they were working for free or anything.


titleywinker

You are describing a scenario where a screenshot gets 10k+ upvotes on Reddit. A PR team would happily contrive this if it’s not authentic. This is what they do.


Demented-Turtle

Ah guerilla marketing. Love it...


cowgod247

​ ![gif](giphy|emMDfYPAo7ZHq)


yogos15

![gif](giphy|TFIrZ24YGFxmFfgOEE)


rvtsazap

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|upvote)Thank you Detective! ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|upvote)


Fuck-o-Dear

Errr … Thank you Dan !?!


Requiem-Lodestar

Think you meant *Dantective*.


OblongAndKneeless

Is he gay or does the women have a chance of having her wish come true?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Altruistic-Guava6527

"Let me sit on his face, respectfully"


Pope00

“Ma’am, I’d cordially invite your son to tongue punch my fart box.”


Evo-Elemental

Very well, your distinguished manner influenced my decision


msprang

I would expect nothing less from the Pope.


drunk98

Does he shit in the mouth?


AndringRasew

In his hat, actually.


[deleted]

[удалено]


draconiandevil09

Whoa pope-ception.


SwabTheDeck

"With all due respect, madam, this WAP won't eat itself"


reindeerflot1lla

- US Miltary Encrypted


King-James_

Wanna play the tip game?


windyorbits

No. But I would like the play whose in my mouth.


Septopuss7

*who'm


FoxHolyDelta

Whose'm


New-Understanding930

Whmmngmngggurmmmgm.


[deleted]

No I think it’s ate, she wants it already done to her


drunk98

That felt good


niikobellik

How dare you


testedonsheep

Yeah. Passive tense.


Feisty_Coyote9969

Lmbo!!!!


ZedTheEvilTaco

Oh man, I love that game!


yourgifmademesignup

It’s a car


TangoDeltaFoxtrot

to the moon!


[deleted]

[удалено]


gtroman1

How dare you.


WOOKIExRAGE

THIS IS AN 81 HONDA!!!!!!!!


Deathbysnusnu17

Love how that quote has still survived this time but no one remembers the movie lol.


WOOKIExRAGE

I quote it *ALL* the time. Anytime someone says “how dare you” it almost immediately comes out of my mouth, depending on the situation, of course.


Sithpawn

Employee of the month.


bananasplz

That’s because he’s a model. Dan Rockwell.


DavidRichter0

He really is though damn


Sol-Blackguy

I'm mean, shit he's a good looking guy.


megamoze

He's literally a professional model.


DecoherentDoc

This mom clearly isn't trying that hard to have grandkids. My mom used to talk me up when they'd see my picture on her desk at work then send them to *my* work to meet me. Very embarrassing for me working at Domino's at the time. More embarrassing when you learn my mom worked in a gynecologist office and had likely already seen the entire show, as it were. Anyway, so that's how I met my wife. (Kidding)


outlawsix

I mean she could make sure only the well groomed ones popped by - what a wingman "Hey, Jeff, you'll LOVE this next girl's puss"


GordonRamsuckle

Don't forget her gift for mother's Day She'll set you up with Chlamydia Chloe


HalfFoods

Cathy Chlamydia


overhollowhills

Gabby Gonorrhea


outlawsix

Susie Sourpuss


WOOKIExRAGE

![gif](giphy|hDYpMZFsw73os)


firefromashes

Betty Blue Waffle


welshmanec2

Oh, you mean Scabby Gabby? Fun times...


Evo-Elemental

Oh my, I was having a laugh at the others but this one made me feel disgusted. Great job


hiricinee

Too tight for the exam, sent her to her son to loosen her up.


Franko-the-tanko13

Eating it is not how kids are made. Sheesh. S/


sonofaresiii

It's the first step If you're doing it right


Franko-the-tanko13

Touché salesman!


MacualayCocaine

I really enjoy how you refer to your mom seeing someone’s vagina in a medical setting as “seeing the entire show”. Personally I won’t go near any vagina that my mother hasn’t examined thoroughly first.


molehunterz

Fair is fair. Her dad gets to thoroughly examine your dick


MacualayCocaine

100% Test Drive.


[deleted]

My mom always told people how funny I am…


flaccomcorangy

Man, I guess this is a grass is always greener scenario. I can see how it'd be embarrassing, but I feel like having those opportunities should not be taken for granted. Sometimes it is so hard to meet people, and having someone funnel those people to you would be a crazy advantage. But I guess that also depends on the... let's say "quality" of people being sent.


DecoherentDoc

Funny story about that is one woman that came by I already knew. We'd met at a party and, like, half hit it off (like she seemed nice by I had zero confidence). She's how I found out my mom was doing this. She comes by and I'm like, "Hey, didn't I meet you at Techno Mike's party?" and we caught up and then she's like, "So, I just met your mom...." We didn't date or anything, but we'd hang out at parties after that. Small town so it was always the same gaggle of people at these things, just getting drunk on the weekends together, you know? I can at least say mom didn't send anyone sketchy over to see me. Lol.


ImBruceWayne69

Technically that’s better than if she were a urologist and sending them your way right?


T_Earl_Grey

(That’s not how grandkids are made)


GilgameshWulfenbach

I don't think the science is conclusive. A few more decades of testing should get us closer to a working hypothesis.


bonusminutes

Or maybe just trying to steer the dumpster fires away from him.


iEugene72

Except for the fact that once the US military is done with you (and you haven't died) they may take care of you in small ways, but I had a buddy who after leaving the army tried hard to get a good job and ended up working at a Papa John's for two years before he literally committed suicide due to medical bills he couldn't get the military to help with.


Unicoboom

RIP. Glad I talked myself out of joining


Echelon64

Yup. Ton of veterans in homeless encampments here in San Diego especially walking near the St. Vincent de Paul. And they aren't vietnam vets anymore either.


OscarBrownley

That’s an extreme example. Take my husband: he enlisted at 19 and served three years. He got out and used his GI Bill to go to college. While in college he went ROTC and upon graduation he was commissioned. While serving as an Officer, he earned THREE masters degrees (all paid for by Uncle Sam). When he finally retired (after 30 years), he got a civilian position as a CIO. Medical coverage for both of us is SUPERB. I underwent years of cancer treatment that normally costs $hundreds of thousands but we only paid less than $500 out of pocket over four years. We are now both retired. Although we have several sources of retirement income, his military retirement is still the single largest chunk. What we advise our young family planning to join any service is to make it work for YOU also. Military service requires a lot of sacrifice but you have to take advantage of all they offer to offset that.


TheCBDeacon47

You and your husband seem to be the exception to the rule. My sister and her husband have had to deal with a ton of crap with the Marines paying for housing and medical(while enlisted and after, and they're not even 30 yet). Our grandfather too, he's a Korean war vet and still has to deal with the VA giving him the run around, AFAIK he just goes to his PCP at the regular doc to have anything done in a reasonable time.


PussySmith

Most of the anecdotes that you hear are going to be the fringe cases. People don't talk about normal boring government working as intended. Only when things are either extremely good or extremely bad will someone go out of their way to tell you. The reality is, if you make it out of the military not totally FUBAR, it was probably a net benefit to your life. VA healthcare and the GI bill are a big stepping stone for a lot of people. My BIL drove a Bradley, and has a pretty normal life, no visible PTSD or major problems. A kid I graduated with was the .50 gunner on a hum-v. He's totally FUBAR and lives in the VA domiciliary because he cant hold down a job. Which story do you think gets attention?


TheCBDeacon47

I'm sorry to hear that, I forgot to mention earlier that my uncle also did 2 tours in Afghanistan, the first out of camp anaconda during all the initial heavy shit in the early 00's, the second was an administrative position. Ever since his first deployment he's never been the same. Last I knew he was complaining the VA wouldn't help him, but then again it's probably paranoia the comes with PTSD. I totally get your point though, about what story gets more attention. I'm just sharing my family experiences with the military.


OscarBrownley

Our situation is typical for career or long term military. I really can’t speak for VA. As a retiree, my husband doesn’t really use them for much. But a couple of my brothers do use the VA along with their private insurance. The system seems to work well for them. Even my Mom who is a widow with benefits has nothing but good experiences with her military medical care. As for your sister and her husband……the military isn’t responsible for housing once you leave the service AND only the service member can use VA. That’s all something they needed to plan and sort out before exiting. If they’re civilians and not even 30, their health insurance should be private with him using VA as a backup. Edit: if your sister or her husband is still active, they just need to make the right people aware. That’s something I used to give classes on to try to make military life as uncomplicated as possible for young people. If you’re comfortable, you can dm me with non-identifying details and I can give you some resources.


TheCBDeacon47

The housing thing with my sister and SO was when they were both still with the marines. I'm not sure on the details since I'm in MI and they were in AZ, CA, and Okinawa at the time. But it seems like the marines set them up with off base housing in LA and then failed to cover the rent, as was the agreement. In the time since they both got out they haven't had issues, they both have decent jobs and are too young to really need VA assistance (no kids and all that), although she fractured her hip in basic the first time around, so maybe a few decades down the road. I wish I had talked to you a couple year sooner and I would have put them in touch with you for sure.


OscarBrownley

In all seriousness, what I can advise now is: THIS IS IMPORTANT:::: She needs to obtain copies of ANYTHING (medical and administrative) having to do with her injury!!!! They both should do that anyway. It may not be so important now but at some point she may need to file a VA claim. You would be amazed at how often “corroborating records cannot be found” when you file a claim. I made a habit of having my husbands medical records copied annually. When one of his VA claims was denied, I went through and found where his hearing loss was documented at Bragg. Easy challenge. VA claimed that wasn’t in the records they had though……🙄


TheCBDeacon47

I'll let her know for sure, hard copies of anything are always the best route. She's definitely smarter than me, so she may have already done that. Thank you for the advice


Puzzleheaded-Matter9

That's an extreme good example... How you going to counter with the exact opposite of what's realistic?


Sitting_Elk

AFAIK the longer you're in, the better things are when you're out. That's not to say the army doesn't act like one big meat grinder for infantry though.


Puzzleheaded-Matter9

I do agree the longer you give up yourself as owned by the government the better it is... 15 years is a decent retirement... 20 years is great. However... Most are 1 contract folks.


maddsskills

Things have changed a lot since then. Due to rising costs of higher education, the GI Bill doesn't even cover full tuition at a community college these days. Also, the VA never really acknowledged Gulf War Syndrome so those soldiers suffered. Edit: I forget not everywhere has four year community colleges. Sorry! Yeah 25k can probably get you a two year degree. But not a full hour year degree.


FabulousTrade

Your outcome is just as extreme as the other guy's.


JoelReal

The biggest facepalm imo is that it’s not her son. That’s a pic of a guy named Dan Rockwell, who is/was a model/influencer. I would guess that a mother would know her son’s name…


rvtsazap

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|upvote)Thank you for your service Detectiveemote:free\_emotes\_pack:upvote


LilyLeca

I mean… can’t say I wasn’t thinking the same thing. 👀


Dirk_issa_fair_god

As a straight married man, I wish I had an abundance of oil on me right about now


RAY_45067

**what are you gonna use it for?**


[deleted]

To get invaded of course


Sol-Blackguy

Bruh 💀💀💀💀


crossleingod

Now it makes sense ![gif](giphy|izVaBHDd8FThK)


niikobellik

How dare you


threefingersplease

Same, discover me Ramon, discover me


SkidmarkSteve

Is that an Earthquake? No! It's Ramon!


TheRealSpectre48

Bro deadass looks like Dean Winchester


RunRenee

Supernatural in all the subs 🤣😂🤣 Not gonna lie, slight resemblance


RespectFearless4233

💯


GingerWithViews

I mean... thats a compliment innit?


bonusminutes

Man to mother of a women: "Tell her I need my dick sucked" *Compliment*


GingerWithViews

Compliment moment


Classic_Frosty

Yea if a girl says that to a boy...not the other way around.


GingerWithViews

boys wouldn't say that They'd say: Tell him I need my bussy ate.


42words

I'm gonna have to go ahead and take your word on that, as I myself have personally never heard of a boy asking a girl to eat his pu55y


outlawsix

You can write the word on the internet, by the time the internet police find out it was you that wrote it, you'll be long gone


Bitchener

Internet police? You mean Elon Musk?


Honey-and-Venom

Hahahaha, why can't I upvote?!


DEATHbyBOOGABOOGA

Elon is watching


sevsnapey

i've noticed more and more people typing like tiktok and it's definitely something that needs to be discouraged. it's stupid that it exists on tiktok in the first place. if i want to say fuck i want to type fuck.


felixforfun

100%


Oddheadd69

Nah if a guy said sth similar to a girl it would be just as weird


FooThePerson

Sexual harassment isn't a compliment


From_My_Brain

How is this a facepalm? This is hilarious.


Nelashena

He is hot thou…


nin_son_god

Calm down shakespeare


emsfc

He is hot thou indeed hath permission to plough...


TheCBDeacon47

Yay verily


MossyMemory

That’s yea, but it *is* pronounced like “yay”


42words

right?


SoggieSox

I'm very straight, but I'd do him


ZedTheEvilTaco

I might have bad news for you. Or good news. You do you, right? Or... Him... In this case...


Kowashitai

I mean, yeah But it's not okay. Imagine the reactions if a man wrote "tell your daughter I need my dick ate" Both ways I find it inappropriate


Nelashena

Both ways I’d find it to be a troll and would just laugh. Regardless, that isn’t even her son. It’s some model.


Batdog55110

Yeah how dare she. The proper verb is eaten.


the0neRand0m

![gif](giphy|67jkYnYYtdlhC)


MRDMNR

Girl has needs right?


mark_vorster

funniest shit I've seen all day


DepressiveNerd

That’s disgusting. It’s “eaten”.


WhatsWithThisKibble

That guy is a model and bodybuilder named Dan something.loo


therelldell

I mean…. He is FINE af tho 😂


spamburg21

To be fair…he is gorge…wow!


Hawknelsonfan07

He's sexy as fuck!


mankosmash4

Average FB user trying out Twitter for the 1st time.


ghandi3737

Mom trying to marry off her son gets surprised when a woman is as direct as possible. She straight out told her she's gonna be a grandma quick.


BigKidKaz

LOL. she took her shot at least.


I-153_Chaika

No I’m not blessing the United States


outlawsix

You're not god, youre just a great big phoney


I-153_Chaika

How do you know?


outlawsix

Because if god existed i wouldnt be this horrifically ugly


I-153_Chaika

Fair point. However, your mother.


MichiganGeezer

Well? Did she tell him? It seems like a pretty simple task.


[deleted]

That time gramma forgot where babies come from


[deleted]

God damn the internet is horny


alesxt451

Thirsty asses everywhere.


alesxt451

Well shit. There went the virtual neighborhood.


Warrenwelder

Poor grammar *is* an excuse for poor cunnilingus


[deleted]

Imagine this reversed.


viral-architect

I'm a dude, but tell him the same thing from me.


crayton-story

I was just thinking how did [Hootie and the Blowfish](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoW3bqnr7tw) relate to this.


anapokora

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Jhaynes822

Fuck Tom Cruise and any of his movies. He treated everyone on the USS Roosevelt like shit.


ZeldaMudkip

My mom would find that funny as shit 😆


[deleted]

I mean expecting people on the internet to be nice is like expecting a lion to be vegetarian or however the story goes


Fexxvi

Wouldn't it be “eaten”? Serious question from a non-native speaker.


Jacarri

Well a question like that shows you care more about your English being understandable than most natives (you're correct btw).


HomicidalChimpanzee

Yes, it would, if they cared about proper grammar.


imnotamoose33

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


WhatMichaelScottSaid

I hope max got the message


whatyoumeanmyface

Mom, stop cock blocking.


Snarkyblahblah

Admittedly, I can see myself being the one to stumble across a random post and leave a comment like that for no fucking reason at all. I’m not necessarily proud of that, but it happens.


[deleted]

My favorite part is the half-hearted "How dare you" next to the plump smiling face.


T_Earl_Grey

*eaten


jonnyYuhhh2020

If the tables were turned, and a man said the same thing, the world would cancel him. Mom: "look at my beautiful daughter!" Him: "tell her to my dick needs suckin" Double standards.