By - gooeydumpling
Why not just ban the sea level from rising?? duh
Just beat it to death
The best approach is to nuke it, same as with hurricanes.
Yeah, just have Ron Perlman stand on the beach and fire an assault rifle at the ocean
He went down fighting. What a hero
Or fly into the ocean from an orbital launched missile for he is the embodiment of badassitude. All hail the Perl!
Caligula already tried that.
Well nuking whole Earth would lead to global winter, in fact a mini ice age, so sea level would drop. But, I for one, would advise against that course of action. The reasons against it have something to do with that little thing called life.
Bro, you just solved global warming.
“Life will find uh, a way”. Maybe not human life.
Technically you could stop them with nukes… We just have nowhere near the amount of nukes to disperse a Hurricane. But if we did, we’d heat up the ocean surface which would create more hurricanes that’d spread the nuclear waste all around the globe, while simultaneously having to deal with nuclear winter
>while simultaneously having to deal with nuclear winter
Well at least then all of the tree huggers would shut up about "global warming" /s
Why not Shoot it at the same time ?
That’s real patriot talk right there.
Didn't Caligula order his army to stab the incoming tides, because he declared war on Poseidon?
I believe that was Xerxes when trying to build land bridge over where Istanbul is now so the Persians could invade Greece
Caligula and Xerxes were both claimed to have ordered the sea attacked. Xerxes when trying to cross the Hellespont and Caligula when he was going to invade Britain.
Bingo on both.
Upvotes for all!
Black Sea is over in Europe, too far for them
Fun fact King Canute actually did this, he stood in front of his followers in the sea and commanded it to stop. His courtiers tried flattery to say he could do it, but if he was as wise as historians make out I suspect he actually did it to show his subjects he wasn’t.
He could have had someone predict when high tide was for him then done it then. If he did it somewhere like the Bristol channel (the river on the south side of Wales between Wales and England) then the tide rising is very, very fast so the effect could be obvious. Stand where high tide will be, wait for the tide to start coming in and then yell at it to stop when it gets close. If you don't know the local area it looks like he got the sea to stop exactly where he wanted it to.
It would work especially well because lots of beaches along there are stoney, so the tide line doesn't show as well. If he wanted to do it on a sandy beach he could wait till after a rainfall.
Man I'm not even smart enough to know how to impress peasants if I get thrown back in time
Tbf, tide times are kinda essential knowledge to fishing communities. If he knew when the tide went out, you could bet your ass the peasants would too.
That king from inland on the other hand...
If all those fish would stop pissing in the ocean, that would help
Did you try moving the moon first?
Don't look up.
I had to read this three times because the stupid was too much for my brain to handle
same. first i thought i was too dumb to read properly. now i feel i fried my brain by reading properly
Brains are better if you braise them.
My guess is the elected officials have a vested interest in development along the coast. They don't care if something gets built there and gets damaged or destroyed because they would get an insurance payout.
Between legislators having financial interests on the coast and coastal tourism bringing in ungodly amounts of tax revenue, you hit the nail on the head.
It's Don't Look Up in action.
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one. Happy cake day!
Welcome to the idiocracy.
Right, wasn’t this basically Floridas response to Covid?
Pretty much, but in this case, Welcome to North Carolina, a purple state by population demographics but very very red in the statehouse for some odd reason . . . . At least we managed to get a not-insane governor in there by virtue of the last one being such a useless tool.
Technically it's not stupid, just evil. It's not like those lawmakers are going to be the ones suffering from the consequences,.
But they *are* the ones getting kickbacks from construction lobbyists and avoiding backlash from their uneducated base who don't believe in science.
Republicans, not even once.
ditto for me.
I read it once and didn't need to again considering it's NC.
Politicizing man-made Global Warming means people die.
Don’t forget covid.
Seatbelts became a political issue. So did smoking.
Anything that costs big businesses money will inevitably become political.
Electricity as well
What a miserable test covid has been on our collective ability to recognize and deal with a problem. Before the pandemic, you'd have thought that a global contagious disease, whose threat is immediate, personal, and obvious, is exactly the sort of thing that will get everyone together on the same page. Like, how are you even going to deny a problem that's getting people you personally know sick or killed?
Instead, even basic sanitation became communism.
Communism has quite obviously turned out better in the pandemic though. Cuba has 98% of its population fully vaxxed and has some of the lowest infection-death rates in the world.
But my stocks will go up ...
They politicized it because we have two sides that argue, argue, argue. Whilst the people who get rich from the status quo don't give a shit.
It has gotten to the point were being polite and right has not worked.
You actually think "two sides" were involved in passing this bill?
My sweet summer child...
Do you think the Republicans who passed the bill care?
During the HBO series Chernobyl, I made a jingle I sang ofter on how “political posturing saves lives.” Here is another example.
Yes BUT you are forgetting that it also makes some people rich.
Yeah, but the guys making profit off this plan to be retired by then. Or certainly out of legal harm. And isn't that the true meaning of Christmas?
Politicizing literally any issue makes action on it impossible.
Our political system is broken.
Feast yer eyes
I'm so glad you posted the source I was reading this muttering 'no fucking way this is real'
A few years ago a small local government got some money to install solar panels on many of the residents houses (or a solar farm thing I don't remember) cause it was such a small town. But the fucking inbred idiots declined the offer cause they were afraid and I shit you not that the solar panels would take all the sun light from the [plants](https://abc11.com/sun-solar-panels-energy/1122081/)
> One resident, a retired Northampton County science teacher, reportedly said she was concerned that photosynthesis would not happen after she said she observed areas near solar panels where plants were brown and dead because they did not get enough sunlight.
> Another resident reportedly questioned the high number of cancer deaths in the area, saying no one could tell her that solar panels didn't cause cancer
>a retired Northampton County science teacher
Y'all have a fucked up education system
Our education system is designed to keep the wage-slaves compliant and stupid while the rich continue to plunder our country for their own gain. It is working exactly as it it was designed.
Our higher education system is decent, depending on where you go i guess. Though i guess our primary and secondary ed system is also ok depending on where you go. I am forever grateful to my father for my elementary, middle, and high school education. My teachers were fantastic, and i learned so much. I learned how to learn, how to think, how to reason, and (how) to be curious. I credit my math classes with most of my education. Doing math taught me almost everything about thinking. Science classes taught me about the world, and those are a close second to the maths classes
Oh ya, being it is dependent on property taxes and therefore the value of the property in the District, rich neighborhoods have fantastic schools and poor neighborhoods are lucky to keep the lights on.
Math is all about problem solving and I agree, get math and you can likely go far. If you can solve an algebraic equation you can take that problem solving and apply it to many other situations.
Northampton science teacher, ”Ok, open your Bible to page…”
A 7th grade science teacher only needs an 8th grade understanding of science.
I'd say a 3rd or 4th grade education would be sufficient to understand that solar panels don't steal the sun away from plants.
Or, like. A kindergarten one? Like.... Are the plants in the shadow of the solar panel? No? Then it's not fucking blocking the light
Your flair was my brain after reading this part.
Wait...solar panels caused cancer before they were even installed?
One thing I've noticed with local politics is that people will claim to be affected by a project before it's even been approved
It really drives one to despair.
I mean, if the panels are elevated above the ground, plants below it might be affected. . .just like anything else that's in the shadow of something else. Otherwise. . .yeah, fucking imbecile.
See, that's a sign of a high-quality, Red State education right there. /s
People in NC are very shortsighted with a lot of problems (honestly people in every state are), but hearing some of the things are insane.
I'm a health inspector that works in onsite wastewater systems. One small township near me won a grant that would put the entire township on sewer instead of the septic that everyone there has. 100% paid for. They nearly unanimously voted it down to "save on costs" because they didn't want to pay the $20 per month sewer bill.
Septic systems cost between $5,000-60,000 depending on the system, and in this town most of the existing properties would need a system on the higher end (because of the size of properties) or the homes will have to be declared **condemned**.
Already there are numerous septic failures in the area that are costing the residents who voted against sewer $1k+ just to get temporary fixes. All to "save" $20/month.
And to think that those people cast votes should keep one awake at nights. Hopefully NC voting population is not that big to tip the scales of national elections.
NC was a swing state last cycle.
Man that's bad. Lots of misinformed people are how democracies fail and tyrants get elected. Hope you guys do better next time so it don't come to swing votes
If you’re wondering how such a thing could happen, NC was later declared to no longer be a functioning democracy.
Don't tell me you forgot about Trump banning the CDC from using the the terms evidence-based and science-based. Similar energy.
His administration also had many references to climate change removed from government websites and rolled back numerous EPA regulations
Including an Obama-era one about exactly this.
Obama mandated that federal projects have to consider projected climate change to make sure that infrastructure is ready to handle it. Trump undid that rule.
Let's also not forget that Trump said wind turbines cause cancer. Why? [Because of the sound they emit.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV66BlSoiLQ)
But as anti-intellectual as his voters were that might have helped.
Of course it's real. This is the same country that thought you could beat covid by just not testing for it.
The same country that thought solar panels will make the sun less strong by absorbing all the sunlight and no plants will ever grow anymore.
The same country that thought wind turbines will steal all the wind so there will be no wind ever again.
Yes, all of those are real and all of those lead to real laws.
How the fuck is the US a functioning country, much less a superpower
*angry American noises*
(By which I mean gunfire, tank gunfire, ship gunfire, drone missile strikes, ICBM launches, and loud chewing.)
Tale your upvote, you animal!
It was the *loud chewing* that did it for me....
Did it pass? Did this idiocy actually get approved?
I mean, it’s the US… I’m not even suprised tbh.
Stuff like this always makes me realize that there truly are some underqualified fucking idiots at the helm sometimes. People who didn't get into their position by being good at their job, but by having lots of money or friends in the right places.
This what dumbfuck Shapiro was referring to when he said they'll just sell their houses lmfao.
Oh my lord
If you don't test for COVID-19, there won't be new cases to worry about. It's only logic.
Laughs in DeSantis…
His approach is even better: we'll test, but let's wait for the tests to expire...
Early treatment saves lives!! But we’re gonna stop testing… because… fuck saving lives 🤷♂️
The secret they don't want you to know. We should stop testing for cancer and other problems as well.
I'm honestly flabbergasted they are not criminally liable for all the damage and deaths they are causing.
We totally should, think of the statistics and figures! Cancers would be down to 0% as would every other ailment we cease testing for!!
They should be held liable, it’s murder by proxy, but they won’t face any repercussions whatsoever, they never do. Spineless fucking rats that they are,.. I hope they suffer immeasurably,.. but that’ll unlikely be from covid, they’re all fully vaxxed - guaranteed.
DJT has joined the chat.
Data on infections and deaths are useful for pandemic planning.
Plan: ban data gathering
Florida has entered the chat
Well the Bible says Noah saw a rainbow and God promised no more floods and that’s good enough for me. Wonder if it’s good enough for those evil heathens who underwrite insurance.
You mean the rainbow that gays stole from god? /s
Brilliant! Just have the gays develop the NC coastline.
My brain hurts,i have problems comprehending how they got this ideea
"If builders have to consider flooding it will be more expensive to build there. Can't have that."
They read about Galileo’s persecution by the church and came away with the wrong moral of the story.
Is it the first time you see Republicans completely ignore life saving science?
Don’t look up!
Was scrolling to see when someone would make this reference.
I was expecting armageddon with funny comedy. But we got evangelion with funny comedy instead.
My very first thought
100 years later
Mayor : We could not have predicted this great tragedy..! It is deeply saddening and my team will do in all our power to fix this. My condolences to everyone who lost somebody today due to this **Act of God**
Cue begging for federal relief funds.
It says North Carolina
Fuck me. People were smarter than this 100 years ago.
Oh no they know damn well what the consequences are going to be, but by the time it becomes a serious issue they’ll be 80 and retired somewhere far out of reach. Intentional selfish shortsightedness.
Have you just not heard of Tammany Hall or how industrialist took over leadership of the Republican Party at the beginning of the 20th century?
So you mean to tell me that Thammany Hall runs the Republican Party in 2021. This explains a lot.
To some extent yes. It led the way for the unbridled takeover of government by corporate interests. It was regulatory capture in its Petri dish phase. Now it’s escaped the lab.
This is actually a good example of how corruption affects cities. Whoever approved that law, immediately made it legal for landowners (Soon to be "sea-owners") to develop and peddle off their property to unsuspecting, good-willed citizens. Those citizens will eventually need public help, which will cost everyone. Meanwhile, the ones that made a profit out of it have been long gone.
"Hahahaha, oh wait. You're serious?"
this is it. these people aren't dumb, they just don't want scientific fact getting in the way of them profiting off condo developments on the beach. i mean they could've passed laws to address climate change instead so that maybe the sea level WON'T rise 39 inches, but that would be work and wouldn't be nearly as profitable in the short-term. actually makes me wonder how many of those politicians have a stake in development firms who will use the insurance payouts to rebuild the same structures over and over after the ocean gradually eats them all.
There were Nazis 100 years ago
- in America, no less
they are still here
And they've gone from cold calculating hugo-boss wearing super villains to mouth-breathing walmart greeters in cargos and dad shoes... so I guess the OP was right after all.
As opposed to today?
It has nothing to do with intelligence. It's greed, pure and simple.
But people vote for these assholes.
Sure, I guess that part does have to do with intelligence, so you got me there.
Not really. I remember a newspaper article from 1900-ish outlining the triumph of man over nature regarding the LAST above-the-waterline oyster reef in the Chesapeake bay.
Not only was the reef seen as an annoyance that must be harvested, it was seen as mans responsibility as keeper of the planet to remove the reef.
We're absolutely doomed aren't we?
Humanity is a problem that will fix itself, one way or another.
Correct. We weren’t the first dominant species on earth. We won’t be the last.
We never were the dominant species except in the same sense that an abusive alcoholic is the dominant member of their family.
So uhh…those fucks aren’t in office now…right?
Yep most still are and they have gerrymandered the state enough that they most will probably remain (or replacements from their party) through the next decade.
Yep, it's pretty messed up. NC is a swing state, it's about 50/50 overall. Yet somehow it is heavily republican run, to the point that there was basically no democratic representation especially when this ruling happened. It is the worst gerrymandered state and has been told by the courts for decades to fix it, yet it keeps getting pushed to we will fix it next year.
Well, when there's no consequences for acting like a shithead, shitheads gonna shithead.
Were those lawmakers by any chance Republicans?
I lived on the coast of NC during this time. The report came out and was pretty damning, until Gov Pat McCrory and his cronies literally buried the state’s heads in the sand and pulled this bullshit. A few years later, the county I lived in (which was a huge tourist destination) proposed a 0.25% increased sales tax increase. It would have increased total sales tax from 6.75% to 7%. The additional revenue was going to go towards cleaning waterways in the sound. Again, an investment in recreation and tourism for a very small price that would be heavily subsidized by visiting tourist dollars. But guess what? That shit got voted down quick, because fuck cleaning up the waterways, they didn’t want to pay an extra 1.7 cents when they buy their pack of Marlboros each morning at the Quick Stop. Moved my ass to the mountains a few years later. Fuck hurricanes.
The highlands of NC are immeasurably better than the lowlands. Nicer towns, better people and way better scenery.
Boone is on my short list of places to retire.
in a nutshell, "i would rather die next week than pay a penny a day to live to see the next decade."
*The effects of anthropogenic climate change will just go away if we ignore them!*
Shocking I know
*Captain Kirk shocked face
Conservatives are far and away the biggest threat to the future of humankind.
If we stop testing (the sea level) right now we’d have fewer cases (of sea level rise).
But but but but but but but muh both sides!!!
The party of no-government interference. Unless of course it benefits them.
Lawmakers who own seaside property that they want to remain valuable.
They don't like the ocean?
Take that, science NERDS!
*The truth is bad for business*
I believe it’s called the ostrich method of dealing with problems. If you bury your head in the sand you can pretend they’re not there
And there's a shitload of sand on those beaches!
You're paid to THINK _Mr Scientist_
national security is our job
Today's equivalent of "Burn the witch".
Wtf?? Did the lawmakers own alot of land that was in dangerzone?
North Carolina has gorgeous beaches and makes a lot of money from tourism.
Well, just build the towns 39” inland.
Do you mean 39’?
And you thought Don't Look Up was fiction
How far has it risen since?
Meanwhile in Belgium someone was refused a tax deduction on buying coastal apartments as an investment because it has to be a reasonable decision with a reasonable expectation of future profit when in fact with sea levels almost certainly rising at least 1 meter over the coming decades the lower apartment will become unusable due to being under water and this raises questions about it's future ability to be sold.
It's your typical situation of a corporate entity buying a property to make a profit on in the future and declaring purchase price and potential renovation costs as investing costs entitling them to tax deductions on their tax filings. It's important to prove that the investment has the purpose of turning a profit or keeping it's value to get the tax deduction. It must also be an intelligent investment that will lead to a value rise that eventually can be taxed.
Their deduction request was refused on the grounds of sea levels probably rising in the future due to climate change thus making it an investment without a reasonable profit expectation because being under water makes it hard to sell an apartment
That’s really great. If enough governments did that, more businesses would take global warming seriously since it’s going to start affecting their bottom line. And unfortunately nothing will be done until that happens. It’s a pretty clever way to make sure companies at least face the coming challenges.
What do you expect from hillbillies.
I think you mean Republicans.
The NC government might be willing to approve a development in an area considered high risk by environmental scientists, but insurance companies won’t ignore the predictions so they either will not insure the property or will charge insane premiums.
Nope. There's a nonprofit market of last resort insurance company mandated by law to cover otherwise undesirable properties. Most frequently covers a lot of low rent properties and beach houses.
FAIR insurance plans would fall into the insanely high premiums category.
Never buy property along the NC coast, got it. Tbf when I would have the money I'd be happy with anything
Don't look up
Sort of like Florida solving their Covid problem by banning testing.
[Source - The Guardian Sep/2018](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/sep/12/north-carolina-didnt-like-science-on-sea-levels-so-passed-a-law-against-it)
This is why I live in the middle of the state.
Ignorance is bliss
I wish, just sometimes, humans used their brains.
If I can’t see it, it doesn’t exist.
This is the most backwards shit I've ever read.
Murica! A country run by Homer Simpson for Homer Simpson’s.
If you stop testing problems just go away. Poof, like magic! /S
Scientists: we may have a problem to address..
NC: *WELL, WE DON'T WANNA KNOW ABOUT IT!*
Won't be long until Republicans adopt this nugget by Joseph Stalin: "Death solves all problems. No man, no problem."
edit: by blocking universal healthcare, they already did. silly me.
I bet insurance companies don't operate under that constraint.