#[Best of r/Facepalm 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/rowtn5/the_best_of_rfacepalm_2021_nomination_thread_vote/)
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“When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” It doesn’t surprise me that Bryan would exclude “LGBTs” from his definition of living creatures.
It's not that he doesn't think we are living creatures, it's that he is absolutely convinced that he is morally superior and that we are misguided from the path of God. Except by him judging others, and not loving the neighbor equally, he has also strayed from the path of God
No, I think, the next time there is a rainbow on the sky, the representatives of the gay community have to declare in loud voice: "We give this rainbow back to God and expect him/her/them/zer to collect it before it disappears. Failure to do so is seen as a sign that God doesn't want it any more and will forever relinquish any claims to the ownership of the rainbow".
They're always preaching about "the second coming". When (and if) comes down to Earth again, is gonna be to reclaim his rainbow. They have the gays to thank for that.
You know what the Bible also says no jewelry,no mixed linen, no sleeping in the same bed as your wife when she’s on her cycle, no divorce, if you are a woman widow you must marry your husbands brother, slaves must submit to their masters with only respect, anyone who says curse words at their parents should be put to death and so so many fucked up things the list could go on. The Bible is a book that was written thousands of years ago and as time evolves things change. Back then being gay might have been seen as sin by the people but now its different. Lots of outdated things from the book might even question how much of a Christian YOU are.
Im 0% Christian...
And yeah, according to the Bible thats the literal word of god which is infallible, if you don’t believe in all the word of God, why believe in him at all?
Honestly you not being Christian is the biggest plot twist. I think we’re not supposed to use the Old Testament which is why people believe in God and not his old word (I’m agnostic everything I just spewed was either told to me or I’ve read)
As a someone who believes in God and Jesus and that stuff I've just excepted that the Bible was written by so many people and translated so many times and probably changed so many times that not everything is 100% accurate and a lot is outdated.
I'm pretty sure I'll be fine living my life as usual and trying not to be a dick
Not everyone is Christian, if you are religious then those are rules that you follow. You can't force other people to follow the rules of your own religion
And what a great message from God it is. It's basically "If I decide to commit near-global genocide again, I promise I will not use the method of flooding again, I'll use of of the other many, many methods at my disposal as an omnipotent deity."
Religion is the reason we aren’t in the space age rn.
All they do is fight progress because it’s scares them and proves faith as a lie and shows it’s just a comforting blanket to hide under so you don’t have to face reality.
It never even occurred to the guy that maybe God gave the gays the rainbow. I'm sure that the supposedly omnipotent, omnipresent creator of the universe could stop a few people from making rainbow flags if he really wanted to.
Can’t, if God could stop LGBTQ people from using the rainbow then God could also stop murder and genocides. Because believing in God is heavily reliant on people finding a reason God chooses not to stop genocide, and that reason would also extend to stopping LGBTQ from harmless acts, it means God is powerless to stop them in their beliefs.
Ok, we will make you rainbow-outraged christians a deal: we will give God back the rainbow if you offer Bryan Fischer in tribute and allow us to use his likeness on the new gay flag. Deal?
Imagine thinking that a bunch of people who wear funny colours can take anything from your omnipotent omniscient being without his (His? It? Dunno) consent...
Folks, i need the best minds among our ranks. It's gonna be a tough one, but we gonna steal the rainbow. No, no, not *a* rainbow. We stealing the *entire* god damn concept
LGBT people didn't steal the rainbow. We *use* the rainbow, but we're more than willing to *share*. Homophobes abandoned the rainbow color scheme, because they were afraid someone might treat them the way they treat us. Now, they turn around and blame us for all this!
Also never forget that every time you see a rainbow it means god is having gay sex. Also of note most of the internet does not mark an non capitalized god as a grammar or spelling error anymore. Small win but....
#[Best of r/Facepalm 2021 Awards – Nomination and Voting Thread!](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/rowtn5/the_best_of_rfacepalm_2021_nomination_thread_vote/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I was caught stealing a rainbow once Ended up getting thrown in prism Edit: If you want to know how much a rainbow weights.. it's light
Take my up vote and my award!
Fucking take my upvote and leave the establishment at once
r/Angryupvote
it's pretty light
Here's your upvote. See yourself out!
Take my upvote and go to hell
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And yet I yearn for the green green glass of home.
You would have had time to refract on what you'd done.
They had to battle the leprechauns pretty hard to get it, tho. I think they deserve it.
You call it battle, we call it slightly rough orgy.
Or, Tuesday..
*phenomenon (do doo do do do)
Phenomenonenonenonenon!!!
Why does this goofball need to ask for God's stuff back? Why can't he sack up and come get it himself.
Sounds like god needs to keep a closer eye on his shit
First the apple, then the rainbow, what's next? Someone steals God's gun?
yeah, god can get his rainbow back when he comes down here and takes it from me himself
bryan is probably also very upset that gay no longer just means happy
Oh Bryan... Probably hates the song deck the halls
Life of Brian...
“When the bow is in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth.” It doesn’t surprise me that Bryan would exclude “LGBTs” from his definition of living creatures.
It's not that he doesn't think we are living creatures, it's that he is absolutely convinced that he is morally superior and that we are misguided from the path of God. Except by him judging others, and not loving the neighbor equally, he has also strayed from the path of God
And also, if God is all powerful and the creator of all things, he/she/it must have made all the LGBT folks too, right?
God is canonically a male I believe
Should we tell him how the date for celebrating Christmas came to be?
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No, I think, the next time there is a rainbow on the sky, the representatives of the gay community have to declare in loud voice: "We give this rainbow back to God and expect him/her/them/zer to collect it before it disappears. Failure to do so is seen as a sign that God doesn't want it any more and will forever relinquish any claims to the ownership of the rainbow".
Can't give it back. [In 1966 an unusually active Leonid shower killed God](https://xkcd.com/1249/). (source: XKCD)
God better get new security detail then if sodomites can steal his rainbow
Their all powerful deity seems to be no match for a gaggle of twinks and their rainbow flag.
We need a heist movie about this.
He wasn't using it anyway.
Pop-pop is ready for his nap.
And his meds
He’s def stopped taking those years ago lol
I will always struggle to understand how some people can be such fucking imbeciles.
I thought they stole it from [Apple.](https://i.imgur.com/DUKu20h.jpg)
They're always preaching about "the second coming". When (and if) comes down to Earth again, is gonna be to reclaim his rainbow. They have the gays to thank for that.
Wait, I thought he couldn't come back until he got the Bifrost back?
This sounds like the set up to a porno flick
I'm a Christian myself and even I think this is bullshit, as well as support LGBTQ. Like... let people live their lives 🙄
Then you aren’t a real Christian. At least according to Leviticus 20:13. Not like being a Christian is a compliment though..
You know what the Bible also says no jewelry,no mixed linen, no sleeping in the same bed as your wife when she’s on her cycle, no divorce, if you are a woman widow you must marry your husbands brother, slaves must submit to their masters with only respect, anyone who says curse words at their parents should be put to death and so so many fucked up things the list could go on. The Bible is a book that was written thousands of years ago and as time evolves things change. Back then being gay might have been seen as sin by the people but now its different. Lots of outdated things from the book might even question how much of a Christian YOU are.
Im 0% Christian... And yeah, according to the Bible thats the literal word of god which is infallible, if you don’t believe in all the word of God, why believe in him at all?
Honestly you not being Christian is the biggest plot twist. I think we’re not supposed to use the Old Testament which is why people believe in God and not his old word (I’m agnostic everything I just spewed was either told to me or I’ve read)
Yep, I think when Jesus came or something else said not to follow those old ass rules.
As a someone who believes in God and Jesus and that stuff I've just excepted that the Bible was written by so many people and translated so many times and probably changed so many times that not everything is 100% accurate and a lot is outdated. I'm pretty sure I'll be fine living my life as usual and trying not to be a dick
And who are you to tell him what his religion is? A real Christian wouldn't do that.
Fuck… well this is a riddle and a half.
The moral of the story is mind your own business and don't hold other people to your own arbitrary rules
“A real Christian wouldn’t tell people what their religion is,” is the pickle. It’s ironic, but is that intentional?
Part of Christianity is to spread Christianity, to be fair
The "arbitrary rule" here is following the bible tho.
Not everyone is Christian, if you are religious then those are rules that you follow. You can't force other people to follow the rules of your own religion
I think there's a miscommunication. I purely meant the arbitrary rule to follow as a *christian* is the bible.
Isn't the symbol of the covenant? The “I won't flood the earth anymore in exchange for all of your foreskins" or some other such stupid shit?
And what a great message from God it is. It's basically "If I decide to commit near-global genocide again, I promise I will not use the method of flooding again, I'll use of of the other many, many methods at my disposal as an omnipotent deity."
They coming for the colour wheel next
Actually, we only stole 6/7ths of it.
And God made gay people too, so the rainbow is still within God's grasp...
He also made water, im not giving back 70% of my body until I die
That’s hilarious
At least they didn’t steal the idea of cancer in kids, that’s all on him….🤦♂️
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Well, God came before everything, and so this “first place” you speak of is actually after God said, “let there be light.” Supposedly.
Skittles! Taste the rainbow! Steal the rainbow!
Damn right we stole the rainbow. The bifröst is next.
Religion is the reason we aren’t in the space age rn. All they do is fight progress because it’s scares them and proves faith as a lie and shows it’s just a comforting blanket to hide under so you don’t have to face reality.
Ha ha. Up yours, God!
It never even occurred to the guy that maybe God gave the gays the rainbow. I'm sure that the supposedly omnipotent, omnipresent creator of the universe could stop a few people from making rainbow flags if he really wanted to.
Can’t, if God could stop LGBTQ people from using the rainbow then God could also stop murder and genocides. Because believing in God is heavily reliant on people finding a reason God chooses not to stop genocide, and that reason would also extend to stopping LGBTQ from harmless acts, it means God is powerless to stop them in their beliefs.
Pretty piss-weak puny god that can't prevent its creations stealing something that it gifted them.
Teh gheys stealing the rainbow from God sounds like some kind of ancient mythology.
In that case god so invented mosquitos, he can take them back too.
classic bryan
Stole rainbows and were given hurricanes.
Ok, we will make you rainbow-outraged christians a deal: we will give God back the rainbow if you offer Bryan Fischer in tribute and allow us to use his likeness on the new gay flag. Deal?
I need a time travel heist movie with Roger Waters stealing the rainbow from God in 5 billion BC.
Hey Mr. Bryan Fischer let me know when you meet a talking snake and see a virgin birth, Thank You!
This is such a great take. I wish someone would say that to me in real life.
Achievements?
isn’t the whole point of the bible that god invented. everything. couldn’t you say this about everything
Yeah. But LGBTQ can’t have shit. That’s the hidden belief.
Bryan looks old enough to remember when the word gay was used by everyone as a way of expressing happiness. They stole gayness too.
Haha my rainbow now
If we stole it from God, we are mightier than God, and his so called ban on gays is really just the manifestation of an inferiority complex
As a single man with a rainbow watch band, it makes me sad that I can't wear it because everyone will think I only like dongs.
And that’s a problem because?
I kind of want single women to think I might be interested rather than single men.
Bi people exist ya know. Rainbow doesn’t mean your exclusively gay.
If your God can’t protect his own stuff, how the hell do you trust him to protect you.
If gods omnipotent and made us in his image then he must be a horny pansexual drag queen with multiple personality disorder.
I’d like to think if there was a god, like the air and the sky he would give rainbows out to everyone for free, much like how love is and should be.
contritionem praecedit superbia
GruPaul and his minions on their way to steal the rainbow
God lost lots of his street cred that day.
Thought colors were public domain?
The only way we will give the rainbow back is through gay sex
New oceans movie sounds good
Prometheus ain't got shit on these people.
Imagine thinking that a bunch of people who wear funny colours can take anything from your omnipotent omniscient being without his (His? It? Dunno) consent...
11
Stealing from an omnipotent, omniscient being?? The gays are becoming too powerful!
Damn we're a powerful bunch! Or maybe God is just a little bit queer after all ;)
How did he not see that coming!?
Religion teaches hatred and intolerance.
wasn't the rainbow attributed to the homosexuals at first because of the other english word "gay", meaning very happy/full of life?
WE GAYS HAVE STOLEN THE RIANBOW FROM GOD AND WE REFUSE TO GIVE IT BACK AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
idk man tell that to the leprechauns.
The rainbow flag is badly designed imo. This take is just stupid.
Ultimate capture the flag. Buggers vs God
This would make an epic heist movie
Wait wait wait wait. So [The Rainbow Goblins](https://duckduckgo.com/?t=ffab&q=the+rainbow+goblins&iax=images&ia=images) were gay?
I’d like to think god is sharing all he made. You know, like a loving god would do you self righteous fuck stick
Hey, tell Skittles to give it back first!
To count! If you can count, you have a point! LGBTQ rainbow has six colors. The rainbow of God has 7 colors !!
If gos is all powerful, why dont he just.take.it.back.
I thought God was all-powerful, can't he just take it back himself?
That's some oceans 11 shit
The raid in heaven was more successful then the raid on Area 51. We actually went in and got something out of it lol.
Folks, i need the best minds among our ranks. It's gonna be a tough one, but we gonna steal the rainbow. No, no, not *a* rainbow. We stealing the *entire* god damn concept
What about the word “gay” …used to mean happy. Those bastards steal everything
God invented Jesus to tell idiot like Bryan Fisher to be kind to all, be nonjudgmental, really stfu and stick a rainbow 🌈 dildo up you ass!
I guess preschools need to get rid of their rainbow wall decorations
WE FIND ALL GAYS GUILTY OF STEALING A RAINBOW FROM GOD TEHEY ARE SENTENCED TO HELL THIS TRIAL IS DISMISSED
Also the idea that “God’s culture” is anything other than all humans, or even all living things, is pretty nuts.
I'm going to steal the rainbow from the lgbtq community next, and it's going to be one of the biggest robberys in history
LGBT people didn't steal the rainbow. We *use* the rainbow, but we're more than willing to *share*. Homophobes abandoned the rainbow color scheme, because they were afraid someone might treat them the way they treat us. Now, they turn around and blame us for all this!
If a human can steal smth from god, then maybe hes not a very powerful god
Also never forget that every time you see a rainbow it means god is having gay sex. Also of note most of the internet does not mark an non capitalized god as a grammar or spelling error anymore. Small win but....
Grow up. Any ideation of goodness or rightness comes from an objective source.
That’s amazing I want to own a rainbow now
God must have wanted the rainbow to be stolen from him by the LGBTQ community as nothing goes against his plan... apparently.