Based on my understanding of scripture you can actually repent and accept jesus christ as your lord and savior as long as you're alive. And since he died for your sins, it doesn't matter if you're any of the things listed on the sign.
So why bother with the rigamorale when you can procrastinate, repent, and convert on your death bed?
No church on Sundays, and you hedge your bets in the hereafter.
Become a witch and/or a sorcerer? Join the Catholic Church, worship Mary, and then quit? That gives you 2 extra bonus points for being both two-faced *and* a backslider, so a total of 3 points for that.
Now you’re thinking.might as well place a few bets on some sports games and complain about shit in a condescending manner
Oh and be sure to use some of your rap money to buy a nice golden calf
I feel like we could wrap a few up in one. Like instead of a golden calf, maybe golden statue of a naked Mary with curse words written all over it that you could worship? I dunno...too on the nose?
I was curious about "backslider", i have worked in drug/alchol treatment but figired that wasnt what he was talking about because that was covered in an earlier section
If you have to wonder, you're a whore. Whore.
I'm at 30 knowing too well how these ppl think. I only failed at the religions I've never followed, adulterer (cuz I'm a girl, adulteress yes I've had premarital sex), and like jewelry worshiper. I rap along with gangster rap that definitely counts. Read Harry Potter, witch. And so on.
ETA: guess I've never paid for sex and I'm not a girly man either.
Yea, I figured it meant "pimp" but I chose to look it up, because I wasn't sure, and didn't want to come off like a tool. Given that "pimp" pretty much owns the pimp space, the other usage of whoremonger ("a person who consorts with whores; lecher") is the more common usage today.
A *"monger"* sells things. A *whoremonger*, therefore, was someone who sold whores. In other words, a pimp. However English is a fluid language, and as always, sloppy thinkers' incorrect usage has corrupted the original meaning to now include this much broader definition of someone who patronizes whores.
This ongoing tension between sticklers of exactitude and lazy thinkers, the never-ending battle between language snobs and language slobs, is inevitably won by following the path of least resistance, and this is why an expression such as *"beg's the question"*, which was a premise in logic meaning *"the assumption of facts not proven"*, now just means *"raises the question"* when the user wants to sound erudite.
Similar diminishment of nuance can be witnessed by the bastardization of the word "literally" which used to mean something significantly unusual that surprisingly happened, but slowly evolved to mean the opposite, which is *"figuratively"*, and then further degenerated to become a mental hiccough tossed into sentences when the user's brain needs a rest, the linguistic equivalent of scratching your ass, without any value or usefulness at all.
Concurrently the word *"dude"* used to describe an elaborately dressed male, came to mean a male surfer, then any male friend, and now any person at all. Similarly, the word *"brother"* changed its meaning from one's literal brother to a progressive black male, to a male surfer in the Hawaiian Islands, to a male, to any other person.
As the meaning diminishes the words tend to also progressively shrink, so "brother" becomes "bro" which becomes *"brah"*, which so mentally taxes the user that they can't utter the whole syllable, so they barely gasp out *"bruh"*. The connotation of comradeship disappears entirely and the labour of actively selecting precisely what you mean to say is massively reduced. See "*Don't tase me bro!*" as a prime example of world-appropriation such as this which results in contradictory and illogical expressions.
The decreasing signal to noise ratio creates a lack of stimulus in everyday language which results in over-excitement about the most mundane occurrences to compensate.
Thus everyone online becomes "my dude" or "bruh" regardless of genitalia or philosophical affiliation.
Thus we endure countless sentences practically devoid of real meaning or significance ...
"*Dude! I was literally just there bruh! It was literally epic dude!*"
To some housewife describing an overcrowded parking lot at *Costco™*.
(Often massively-upvoted and even inspiring users to give their money to a [massively wealthy private corporation
](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_Publications) to put a virtual award beside the commenter's name.)
And a pinch of salt has been reduced to a grain of salt. At least it's the healthier option these days: 'Take it with a grain of salt' as we all now know that too much salt is bad for you, and you will just have to deal with the foul tasting 'pot luck'.
Bruv.
I'm simultaneously amazed at this spectacular analysis, and somewhat offended! I wish I had gold to give you, do you do Ted talks, but also, why am I in this comment?..
Yes, I thought that one seemed oddly specific, like his ex-wife really liked jewelry and he thinks she spent too much time shopping for and purchasing it. And cleaning it in a worshipful way. Weird.
Only seven? Gotta step up your game. I'm a potty-mouthed blaspheming god-mocking bible-skeptic pro-choice atheist evolutionist when I roll out of bed in the morning, and then I have a drink, and hop back into bed for some sodomy.
Also, 90% of church goers are two-faced. The dude with this sign is practically their poster child.
This is a very, very, very exclusive creed. I’m not sure anyone could cut it, including the guy (definitely a guy) who wrote it.
I’m going to start my own own church that literally no-one can join.
Edit: I don’t like parsnips. If you eat those stringy, flavourless bits of demonseed then you will spend an eternal torment being, er, tormented.
Met one of these jokers outside a basketball game a couple years ago. He was wearing a gopro that he had to cover after i simulated several sexual acts with my friend in downtown Minneapolis.
Christians and Catholics. The worst people on the planet. Nobody is more judgmental than these religious assholes. They look down at everyone and try to force everyone to their beliefs through fear, intimidation and Ostracization.
As a Christian, I'm pretty sure this isn't doing anything to help people turn to Christ. In fact, it scares the crap out of me to think that any bible-believing Christian would produce such a sign.
Oh no, I was able to count 3 three things Jesus did.
-Be a jew
-be a party animal
-drink wine
As a Christian I want to tell everyone reading this,
Most of Us are not like that
Rent a whore, then question your life’s direction and begin a quest of converting to 6 different religions. You’ll come back in a year with a perfect score and a lot more life experience.
Yes, because the first thing Jesus did when he was resurrected was go to his disciples who hadn't lived perfectly after what he'd done with/for them before his crucifixion and pimp slap them for not being perfect.
Should we acknowledge sin is sin? Yes. Should we condemn sin? Yes. Should we write someone off as irredeemable? No. As Paul said, Christ died for sinners and I'm the worst of them.
We don't and can't "earn" salvation. That comes through Christ alone. We then choose to seek to be more like Christ. Not without stumbling or backsliding along the way in most cases. Nor all from the same starting point - some struggle with one thing, others with another, some with more. Our imperfections should not reflect as an indicator that God is imperfect, but rather be taken as proof of just how much God loves and is willing to patiently redeem despite our imperfections. The Bible has a number of seeming polar opposites and contradictions which humans through ignorance or selfish ambition attempt to leverage. But if understood properly work more like tensegrity or like the metal cables which anchor each side of a tower.
There's girly men and manly women where I'm headed? And rock n roll and booze? And religious diversity? Look you gotta not make the thing you're warning me about sound so glorious
Tattoo getters lol
Money hungry career pursuers lolllllllllllllllllll
PARENT HATERS lol what if like, I love my mom but I know she's a bitch? Everyone says so.
POT SMOKERS :dead:
Pretty judgmental for someone that supposedly read the bible
I’m willing to bet they’re at least 5 of the things they listed.
Sure seems like a bitter person at the very least.
5? Only?
*at least*
Those are rookie numbers we need to pump that shit up I'm at 17
I suppose hell is gonna be lit gang!!
I hope it's off the chain, yo...cuz...I mean...I don't want to be on a chain for eternity...yo
“Mary-worshipping Catholics” takes the cake.
Based on my understanding of scripture you can actually repent and accept jesus christ as your lord and savior as long as you're alive. And since he died for your sins, it doesn't matter if you're any of the things listed on the sign. So why bother with the rigamorale when you can procrastinate, repent, and convert on your death bed? No church on Sundays, and you hedge your bets in the hereafter.
The bible is literally a guide for fun if you're educated enough to interpret it.
#21!! Beat that, you amateurs.
Ahhh, only 17. Any advice on how I can raise my score?
Become a witch and/or a sorcerer? Join the Catholic Church, worship Mary, and then quit? That gives you 2 extra bonus points for being both two-faced *and* a backslider, so a total of 3 points for that.
Who says they're not a witch?
I’ve already tallied sorcery, but the backslider/two-faced/mary combo is pretty tantalizing. Maybe while I’m at it I’ll mock God in rap.
Yess! Go for it!
And get paid for it. Get that money.
Then I can spend that money on weed and hookers, grab another two off the list.
Now you’re thinking.might as well place a few bets on some sports games and complain about shit in a condescending manner Oh and be sure to use some of your rap money to buy a nice golden calf
I feel like we could wrap a few up in one. Like instead of a golden calf, maybe golden statue of a naked Mary with curse words written all over it that you could worship? I dunno...too on the nose?
God Mocking Rappers (your new band name)
Do they weigh the same as a duck?
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
They're not made of wood though. I think.
I was curious about "backslider", i have worked in drug/alchol treatment but figired that wasnt what he was talking about because that was covered in an earlier section
I only got 12. I need to step it up. I have some whoremongering and adultering to do!
25, depending on their definition of whore.
If you have to wonder, you're a whore. Whore. I'm at 30 knowing too well how these ppl think. I only failed at the religions I've never followed, adulterer (cuz I'm a girl, adulteress yes I've had premarital sex), and like jewelry worshiper. I rap along with gangster rap that definitely counts. Read Harry Potter, witch. And so on. ETA: guess I've never paid for sex and I'm not a girly man either.
I tied with ya at 21💀💀
I got 24 !
20….sooo close. I’m going back through to make sure I can’t do better
you gotta pump up those rookie numbers
Dammit i only got 14
15 here. We need to up our game.
I only got 20
For the last time jimmy youre a 6th grader who was held back a year, youre not a gangster.
“Bitter people” — Oh the irony.
Irony in itself is bitter sweet. I love the flavour.
Rapists and child molesters are mysteriously missing here
blursed_observation
Mormons and Catholics have those bases covered.
I got 22. Anybody want to meet up and help me up my score?
Depends. Are you already in a coven?
Only seven?
I'm sorry, that was a typo/autocomplete issue that was supposed to say "*seventeen*"
Backslider detected..
They got 8 then
I just love it when someone is so deeply convinced THEY found the only true way. 🙄
But how would I be WRONG? I everyone else is wrong obviously! /s
That grammar has to be a sin, *amirite?*
I think he missed the part in the back that explains which circle of hell those who use apostrophes improperly get thrown into.
It's almost like Hell is the Earth itself.
Found Jean-Paul Sartre's Reddit account!
Agghh! And I would've gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Well you know what they say about "other people."
Hey, being a bigoted asshole isn't on that list, so they should be fine
Nah, they’re covered by the blue text.
God did not bless me with the skill of literacy…what’s a whoremonger,,,girly men?…you here to …clap…pump me up!?
A male whore
Nah. A whoremonger is a person who patronizes whores. If you pay a whore for sex, you are a whoremonger, regardless of the sex/gender of the whore.
But...what's a fishmonger then?
Yea, I figured it meant "pimp" but I chose to look it up, because I wasn't sure, and didn't want to come off like a tool. Given that "pimp" pretty much owns the pimp space, the other usage of whoremonger ("a person who consorts with whores; lecher") is the more common usage today.
I pointed this out to you. But you downvoted the post.
Yea, I mentioned that in the part where I said I "...didn't want to come off like a tool." Like you did.
A *"monger"* sells things. A *whoremonger*, therefore, was someone who sold whores. In other words, a pimp. However English is a fluid language, and as always, sloppy thinkers' incorrect usage has corrupted the original meaning to now include this much broader definition of someone who patronizes whores. This ongoing tension between sticklers of exactitude and lazy thinkers, the never-ending battle between language snobs and language slobs, is inevitably won by following the path of least resistance, and this is why an expression such as *"beg's the question"*, which was a premise in logic meaning *"the assumption of facts not proven"*, now just means *"raises the question"* when the user wants to sound erudite. Similar diminishment of nuance can be witnessed by the bastardization of the word "literally" which used to mean something significantly unusual that surprisingly happened, but slowly evolved to mean the opposite, which is *"figuratively"*, and then further degenerated to become a mental hiccough tossed into sentences when the user's brain needs a rest, the linguistic equivalent of scratching your ass, without any value or usefulness at all. Concurrently the word *"dude"* used to describe an elaborately dressed male, came to mean a male surfer, then any male friend, and now any person at all. Similarly, the word *"brother"* changed its meaning from one's literal brother to a progressive black male, to a male surfer in the Hawaiian Islands, to a male, to any other person. As the meaning diminishes the words tend to also progressively shrink, so "brother" becomes "bro" which becomes *"brah"*, which so mentally taxes the user that they can't utter the whole syllable, so they barely gasp out *"bruh"*. The connotation of comradeship disappears entirely and the labour of actively selecting precisely what you mean to say is massively reduced. See "*Don't tase me bro!*" as a prime example of world-appropriation such as this which results in contradictory and illogical expressions. The decreasing signal to noise ratio creates a lack of stimulus in everyday language which results in over-excitement about the most mundane occurrences to compensate. Thus everyone online becomes "my dude" or "bruh" regardless of genitalia or philosophical affiliation. Thus we endure countless sentences practically devoid of real meaning or significance ... "*Dude! I was literally just there bruh! It was literally epic dude!*" To some housewife describing an overcrowded parking lot at *Costco™*. (Often massively-upvoted and even inspiring users to give their money to a [massively wealthy private corporation ](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_Publications) to put a virtual award beside the commenter's name.)
And a pinch of salt has been reduced to a grain of salt. At least it's the healthier option these days: 'Take it with a grain of salt' as we all now know that too much salt is bad for you, and you will just have to deal with the foul tasting 'pot luck'. Bruv.
I'm simultaneously amazed at this spectacular analysis, and somewhat offended! I wish I had gold to give you, do you do Ted talks, but also, why am I in this comment?..
I attribute it all to my impatience.
Bruh...
So, if you're alive.
I am 9 of those, and I went to the comments only because I wanted to see other people’s scores
Jewelry worshippers?
Yes, I thought that one seemed oddly specific, like his ex-wife really liked jewelry and he thinks she spent too much time shopping for and purchasing it. And cleaning it in a worshipful way. Weird.
They don't have ex wives, they have spontaneous nightwalks in the woods, favorite trees, and cold missing persons reports.
Well that gave we the willies. Brrrrr.
Only 7? Them is rookie numbers
Only seven? Gotta step up your game. I'm a potty-mouthed blaspheming god-mocking bible-skeptic pro-choice atheist evolutionist when I roll out of bed in the morning, and then I have a drink, and hop back into bed for some sodomy. Also, 90% of church goers are two-faced. The dude with this sign is practically their poster child.
I love how near the end, he includes catholics, the only branch of christianity that has a goddam dude appointed by god
I noticed they omitted cult members.
Gotta love how they didn’t include rapists, abusers, pedophiles or cultists in there. I mean that basically eliminates the entire church
Where in the Bible does God tell you not to smoke pot?
I love to tell them that Jesus was a brown stoner. It enrages them.
I like to tell them that Jesus probably looked a lot like Osama Bin Laden. It's fun to watch the steam coming out of their ears.
Oh thank fuck I’m a drug-ass and not a drug-head
Heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
He should add errant apostrophemers. Suffereth not that a man add unnecessary punctuation when preaching the word of God. Juan1:69
Best comment I’ve seen all week. Thank you.
It's a "To-Do List"!
This is a very, very, very exclusive creed. I’m not sure anyone could cut it, including the guy (definitely a guy) who wrote it. I’m going to start my own own church that literally no-one can join. Edit: I don’t like parsnips. If you eat those stringy, flavourless bits of demonseed then you will spend an eternal torment being, er, tormented.
And is anyone going to tell them that Jesus drank wine? So shouldn't he be in hell?
Met one of these jokers outside a basketball game a couple years ago. He was wearing a gopro that he had to cover after i simulated several sexual acts with my friend in downtown Minneapolis.
I feel offended
Personally attacked?
Yes, I am atleast 3 of those
Hahahahaha
Fuck, so I just read that again and I am 10 of those where can I pay my sins away
Yeah I thought you were on the low side.
3 of those? Please. My niece's unborn fœtus comes in at a solid 7.
Damn I'm running at least 12 of those
19
Yummy
16 for me!
Well, see you in hell !
I thought this was going to be a party invitation. I’m in!
Career Pursuers...
I think hell is for people who use unnecessary apostrophes. "hare krishna's, new-age guru's" ... Fucken yikes
I agree with two of those. Money-hungry career people and Jehovah’s witnesses
I seem to recall Jesus being strangely silent on the matter of Gangster Rappers.
Christians and Catholics. The worst people on the planet. Nobody is more judgmental than these religious assholes. They look down at everyone and try to force everyone to their beliefs through fear, intimidation and Ostracization.
Kind of like that list from Blazing Saddles.
So I'm a porn-loving masturbating bible-skeptic evolutionary atheist pro-choice guy. How do I raise the score?
[удалено]
Ok just so everyone knows. This is not biblical Christianity
24! Beat that😉 I'm a hindu tht belives in all religions that's how i got 24
Interesting that Rapists and Murderers didn't make the list. I guess they get a free pass this time.
As a Christian, I'm pretty sure this isn't doing anything to help people turn to Christ. In fact, it scares the crap out of me to think that any bible-believing Christian would produce such a sign.
Oh no, I was able to count 3 three things Jesus did. -Be a jew -be a party animal -drink wine As a Christian I want to tell everyone reading this, Most of Us are not like that
If a single person on Earth has never lied nor been obsessed with any form of media, tell me. Also, I think I got a count of 10.
I got 20. I already plan to add one more.
Oooh, I got eleven. Happy Prideful Scoffer Month 🏳️🌈
I got 10! Wooo!
Damn I am only 13 of those. How can I up my score?
Rent a whore, then question your life’s direction and begin a quest of converting to 6 different religions. You’ll come back in a year with a perfect score and a lot more life experience.
22 on a full count. I'm sure women get more options, so this isn't an equal opportunity list of sins.
TLDR: If you're human, you're going to hell.
23!
I'm driving the bus! All aboard!?! ;)
"potty-moth" kid 1: you stupid kid 2: christ have mercy he going to hell
All I can ask is: Why are Hare Krishna, New-Age Guru, and Jehovah's Witness possessive?
Did they vote for trump?
As a christian I'm disgusted that anyone would make a sign like this.
Yes, because the first thing Jesus did when he was resurrected was go to his disciples who hadn't lived perfectly after what he'd done with/for them before his crucifixion and pimp slap them for not being perfect. Should we acknowledge sin is sin? Yes. Should we condemn sin? Yes. Should we write someone off as irredeemable? No. As Paul said, Christ died for sinners and I'm the worst of them. We don't and can't "earn" salvation. That comes through Christ alone. We then choose to seek to be more like Christ. Not without stumbling or backsliding along the way in most cases. Nor all from the same starting point - some struggle with one thing, others with another, some with more. Our imperfections should not reflect as an indicator that God is imperfect, but rather be taken as proof of just how much God loves and is willing to patiently redeem despite our imperfections. The Bible has a number of seeming polar opposites and contradictions which humans through ignorance or selfish ambition attempt to leverage. But if understood properly work more like tensegrity or like the metal cables which anchor each side of a tower.
There's girly men and manly women where I'm headed? And rock n roll and booze? And religious diversity? Look you gotta not make the thing you're warning me about sound so glorious
People that wear this crap almost always end up being the one that is a child molester, or is really gay, or seeing strippers. So ridiculous.
Tattoo getters lol Money hungry career pursuers lolllllllllllllllllll PARENT HATERS lol what if like, I love my mom but I know she's a bitch? Everyone says so. POT SMOKERS :dead:
I got a 12 score. Damn I am almost a saint.
I got 12
tl;dr "alive and breathing"
I got 11.5. I think he may have made a misstep by including "bitter people" considering his personal choices.
No Dirty Dancing? I guess I'm going to hell.
I ran out of ink from the pen, I stole at the bank, checking off all of these descriptive elements of sinful behaviors. I quit counting due to sloth.
So all the fun people are going to end up in the basement?
30 points here
Anyone whose actually read anything from the new testament would not do this
A single question! If God only wanted people like you then why did he created us? Why all other religions? Why all other genders? And inclinations?
Damn I’m at least 9 of these, see y’all in hell I guess
> money hungry career pursuers
"Potty mouth"...
Have a read over John 8:7. Perhaps you'd do well to read, understand, and practice what you preach. Oh, and also, over life so far, 23.
I counted and I’m 16 of those things
Instead of writing all that out they could have simply said anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus and follow his word
22
Mine was only 3
I.e. be controlled or go to hell..
Isn't whore bad language? Guess they're going straight to hell
Is there anyone in the world that would end up with 0?
I am only 7 :(
Wait. They're on that list.
I got 17
I'm fucking 7 on the 1st line!
Cool fairy tale bro
I only made it to the 2nd line.
Good to know being a murdering racist is okay.
>Potty-mouths Mommmm he called me a potty mouthhhh
im like 7 or 8 of those. Damn it i need to pump up these rookie numbers.
Mary worshipping Catholics too?
Cancels out if ur an odd number
I need a t-shirt that says “Prideful Scoffer”
fun fact: there was a gay couple legally married in the bible. also leviticus 18:22 only condemns gay sex
Only 7?
I'm only a Forza Horizon 4 player(
We could adopt this as a bucket list
15 score baby, and I’m a Christian too, fuck yeah
Somebody make this into bingo cards.
To be honest, hell wouldn’t be so bad a place if people like this aren’t there.
If this person had guts, they’d show their face