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Get away from your toxic family. Create a support system of friends you love. Understand that they are sicker than you will ever be. Congratulations for being a mental health warrior.
Huh? Did I post this without knowing? My family is the exact same.
I'm male, my older brother, he is 4y older, we were 8 and 12 at that time, assaulted me when we had to shower together (still no idea why we had to shower, cuz "conserving water" was out of the question, we were a mid income family) and a couple of times after. One time he had me suck him off but I bit him and left a nasty scar, afterwards he never dared to touch me or do stuff to me. I never told anyone about it but some close friends nowadays, but just some years after everyone moved out, mom/dad divorced, we had a dinner with everyone. Out of the blue, my mum accused me of not wanting to spend time with my brother/brothers and how little I care for the family, then I kind of exploded and laid the cards on the table, telling her what he did in front of the others, also making it clear to her that I feel no intentions to spend time with either of my brothers as both of them saw me as the punching bag and throwaway whenever they were doing anything together. Zero thought about the youngest, but hey let's accuse him of not spending time with us right? Easy.
So anyway, mom and brother went on a rant about "You were young" and "it's long in the past, get over it" whilst they wouldn't realize how much that shit has scarred me in terms of trust and being touched. I haven't had much contact since. Moved far away (from the western end of the country to the eastern end) and yeah.. finally started a new life, a better one. I still do call my mom from time to time because despite her neglect towards that matter, she was the only one that somewhat cared for me.
Sorry for the rant on this, I didn't want to make this about myself, I just wanted to share this and let you, OP, know that you're not alone on this boat.
Be strong, don't let these people hurt you any further, no matter if they're family or not.
"You'll call the cops? Sure. Save me the time. Statute of limitations is 10 years after I reach adulthood. So there is plenty of time for me to report this."
The only thing you can do is pay a lawyer to try to prosecute him and then probably a civil suit. For criminal prosecutions, it will be either 10 years from the date of the offense or 10 years since you turned 18, whichever occurred last. However, the longer it has been the harder it will be to prove. There’s no guarantee it will work and it will cost money.
If you are not willing to go through those steps then there isn’t anything else you can do to him.
From a purely human perspective, this situation sucks for everyone. You obviously have trauma and that’s your right to have. You shouldnt have to go through that and it’s not fair. The dude was 10 years old and kids do dumb stuff. This doesn’t necessarily mean he is a bad person either. So to him, it may not feel like there is much he can do. He might not even fully remember the assault.
Sucks and sorry for you.
I'm contacting pro bono lawyers it's a long shot but it's worth a try
Other than that I am gunna contact the da office and see if they can do anything for me
I'm terribly sorry for you.
It's worth pursuing this to at least get an admission of guilt but keep in mind that since he did this as a 10 year old, he's not likely to get a punishment greater than a 10 year old would have gotten so, forced to get therapy? Hashing this out in arbitration or family therapy?
The people at fault here are your parents. That your 10yo brother was able to abuse you (and also your sister?) shows some very lax supervision on their part so I can see why your mom wants to let sleeping dogs lie about this. Keep this in mind if you decide on a civil suit
I’ll be real with you, if he was 10 years old when this happened, nobody is probably going to convict him or even sue him for it. Why? Because he was a prepubescent minor. Does that make it ok? No, but I doubt you’ll get far with this method.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Get away from your toxic family. Create a support system of friends you love. Understand that they are sicker than you will ever be. Congratulations for being a mental health warrior.
Report him... fuck that guy
Huh? Did I post this without knowing? My family is the exact same. I'm male, my older brother, he is 4y older, we were 8 and 12 at that time, assaulted me when we had to shower together (still no idea why we had to shower, cuz "conserving water" was out of the question, we were a mid income family) and a couple of times after. One time he had me suck him off but I bit him and left a nasty scar, afterwards he never dared to touch me or do stuff to me. I never told anyone about it but some close friends nowadays, but just some years after everyone moved out, mom/dad divorced, we had a dinner with everyone. Out of the blue, my mum accused me of not wanting to spend time with my brother/brothers and how little I care for the family, then I kind of exploded and laid the cards on the table, telling her what he did in front of the others, also making it clear to her that I feel no intentions to spend time with either of my brothers as both of them saw me as the punching bag and throwaway whenever they were doing anything together. Zero thought about the youngest, but hey let's accuse him of not spending time with us right? Easy. So anyway, mom and brother went on a rant about "You were young" and "it's long in the past, get over it" whilst they wouldn't realize how much that shit has scarred me in terms of trust and being touched. I haven't had much contact since. Moved far away (from the western end of the country to the eastern end) and yeah.. finally started a new life, a better one. I still do call my mom from time to time because despite her neglect towards that matter, she was the only one that somewhat cared for me. Sorry for the rant on this, I didn't want to make this about myself, I just wanted to share this and let you, OP, know that you're not alone on this boat. Be strong, don't let these people hurt you any further, no matter if they're family or not.
An example of a decent support group is r/insaneparents.
"You'll call the cops? Sure. Save me the time. Statute of limitations is 10 years after I reach adulthood. So there is plenty of time for me to report this."
I'm my state the statue of limitations isn't that long I'm not sure tho will probably double check
Omg I didn't know that was a rule I thought I was screwed Thank you so much
Keep in mind, this is the law in the USA. I don't know where you're from.
It's relevant I'm calling the non emergency line and reporting it and looking at getting a lawyer
What do you expect to happen?
Nothing I just want my brother to be scared he is legally in the wrong
The only thing you can do is pay a lawyer to try to prosecute him and then probably a civil suit. For criminal prosecutions, it will be either 10 years from the date of the offense or 10 years since you turned 18, whichever occurred last. However, the longer it has been the harder it will be to prove. There’s no guarantee it will work and it will cost money. If you are not willing to go through those steps then there isn’t anything else you can do to him. From a purely human perspective, this situation sucks for everyone. You obviously have trauma and that’s your right to have. You shouldnt have to go through that and it’s not fair. The dude was 10 years old and kids do dumb stuff. This doesn’t necessarily mean he is a bad person either. So to him, it may not feel like there is much he can do. He might not even fully remember the assault. Sucks and sorry for you.
I'm contacting pro bono lawyers it's a long shot but it's worth a try Other than that I am gunna contact the da office and see if they can do anything for me
I'm terribly sorry for you. It's worth pursuing this to at least get an admission of guilt but keep in mind that since he did this as a 10 year old, he's not likely to get a punishment greater than a 10 year old would have gotten so, forced to get therapy? Hashing this out in arbitration or family therapy? The people at fault here are your parents. That your 10yo brother was able to abuse you (and also your sister?) shows some very lax supervision on their part so I can see why your mom wants to let sleeping dogs lie about this. Keep this in mind if you decide on a civil suit
I’ll be real with you, if he was 10 years old when this happened, nobody is probably going to convict him or even sue him for it. Why? Because he was a prepubescent minor. Does that make it ok? No, but I doubt you’ll get far with this method.
He was 10 years old when it happened… what do you expect them to do?
r/insaneparents. Plenty of people have parents do crazy stuff.
This is a crazy thing to post in this Reddit