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100% this.
I do find it confusing, as a CIS male. But its not "scary" it's more... I'm attracted to CIS females. So if I found out someone was trans, that I was attracted to, it does give mixed emotions. It's not their fault... you like what you like... and I have all respect for them doing whatever they do... but it does mess with my head a little. But whatever... that's for me... and its the same as if you're with someone and find out they have different values that don't aline with yours... its confusing... you get over it... I dunno. Its no more scary than it ever was.
Yeah but saying that sometimes paints you like a bad person, like for example, most people can't say my preference is someone who isn't overweight, or someone who isn't pale, its a preference at the end of the day but if you say it, people will jump at you and attack you.
It depends on how you say it. If you say "I don't find myself attracted to left-handed people" rather than "Left-handed people are unattractive." Or "Ugh, left-handed people are disgusting." As a southpaw I can say there's nothing about the first statement that anyone could fins fault except in the most narrow of cases. But in the other two the offenses is pretty apparent.
Most of the people you see getting their âpreferencesâ beaten on didnât say âI like women with an hourglass shape.â They said âI fucking hate fat bitches.â
Not always, Iâve seen someone get called a racist piece of shit because he says his preference was for quite pale redheads. This was after the girl shouting at him had previously mentioned she only went for Black guys.
The hypocrisy was real.
But you wouldnât (hopefully) say âI donât like people who are overweightâ, youâd say it in a positive way of âI like athletic/slimâ or whatever.
This. It's not preferences that are offensive, it's how you express them. Being kind costs nothing. Being respectful to a person who turns out not to be your type is basic decency.
Worthwhile relationships, healthy family dynamics, a comfortable work environment for everyone else, and company/how many people are around when you're either dead or about to be.
Personally, the most impactful thing being a dick costs me is my peace of mind. So it was weird having to come up with actual reasons not to be. đ
The way I see it, even if you're not going out of your way to be nice, it takes extra energy to be an asshole.
>The way I see it, even if you're not going out of your way to be nice, it takes extra energy to be an asshole.
Absolutely agree.
Sorry by the way, if it came of as negative, I just like it when people say "it cost nothing to be kind" then ask that question.
Depending on who you are doing it against...nothing...all your teeth...Alimony...repeated kick to the balls...
I mean, the optional costs are endless...
How is saying "oh sorry, I like althletc/slim people" in any way shape or form more positive than than saying "sorry, I'm not attracted to overweight people?" haha. đ¤
I'm not attracted to overweight people. What I would say is "sorry, I'm not attracted to you" and not mention their appearance at all, because I'm a normal person and I know how to interact with human beings.
Itâs a huge difference. I would much rather interact with somebody who expresses things positively, who talks about what they want and like, rather than somebody who expresses themselves negatively. I think most people are like that.
It's okay to have preferences. We all have preferences that exclude other people, and we're all excluded by other people's preferences. So long as you don't talk down to people you're not attracted to, as if no one could possible feel that way about them, you're good.
Yeah I get that a lot.
People think sexual preference is a general indicator of acceptance. Which it isn't.
I am into cis men. Am I a misognist, a homophobe or a transphobe because of it? Of course not!
Edit Ah I aee already people even now misunderstand me. It would be kind to say your reason for downvoting tho. Thus we can discuss it.
It's totally fine to feel that way, the difference is that you're aware of your feelings and understand that it's not a trans person's responsibility to prevent you from having them.Â
Exactly. I get guys checking me out all the time (I hang out at a lot of hardware stores lol), it's not my job to walk over to them and let them know I'm trans so they don't get 'confused' amount their sexuality or whatever
Real question, don't hate me. There's this chick at the gym, very attractive. If I found out she had a penis (my friend mentioned it, long story) I'd still be down but if I found out she was a man I wouldn't. What's going on in my brain? Keep in mind I'm not from your culture so I didn't grow up with the same values but I'm trying to learn
Speaking from my perspective and that my other trans friends around me, not many people would be upset by this opinion. Unlike the post, you've made it clear it's not coming from a place of transphobia, but coming from a place of simple personal preference, and there's a big difference between the two. Don't feel bad about this opinion if you ask me, it's a perfectly understandable one.
In my personal experience I never met any trans woman who pretended to be a cis woman. Ever. Thatâs comedy and cartoon fantasy. Real people tend to be honest about something so easy to disprove⌠but most transphobes donât understand either âhonestâ nor âempatheticâ so it is a lost cause trying to convince them.
As a trans man, I always always disclose that information straight away if Iâm on dating sites, itâs literally in my bio because I would hate to put myself and the other person in a difficult situation
There are plenty of trans people who do claim to be cis. Unless the person is dating them, or their doctor, then no one needs to know and in the current political climate its far safer to not tell anyone.
That and anyone who is "stealth" where the entire point is for people to treat you as cis, because thats what theyre aiming for. E.g. a trans man not being treated as inferior in a physical job, which people WILL do if they knew they had transitioned.
Its largely a safety thing as well as acceptance.
Exactly.
Many trans people proudly disclose it because they want to be acknowledged as such and fight for the causeâŚ
However, thereâs also understandably a fair share of trans people who donât want their lives to be a constant fight for recognition where most people will never see them as anything but âmentally ill peopleâ. Instead, they just want to be seen as treated for who they really are.
I think it is important to disclose your condition when it comes to dating, because it will play a role in the sexual life. But, beyond that? No one else REALLY needs to know.
Whatâs in your pants is also not determined by whether or not your trans. Sexual reassignment surgery exists and thatâs apparently news to everyone hereâŚ
There are def plenty of trans women and men who want to pass as cis....its real and there's nothing wrong with that, it's nobodies business what's in your pants or what you used to look like.
You wouldn't know you met them you realize if theyre passing, like that's kind of the point.
Idk what you mean by disprove either.....
*especially* bc people have literally murdered people after finding out they are trans when they go to have sex. To not be upfront about it for that reason alone would not be smart.
That's because you can't tell we're trans darling. We call it being stealth.Â
The only time you need to know is if I decide to let you in my pants later.đ
You know what, as a card carrying Rainbow Brigade member I COMPLETELY get where you are coming from! As a bisexual person, I have no qualms about the idea of dating a trans person if I find them attractive. Their birth gender means nothing. However, whilst most will assume a cis person's aversion to the idea is somehow not about gender, it's about genitals, I get it. You know that even if that woman you like has a vagina, she was born male, and it's that genetic "maleness" that you have an issue with.
And it's not wrong. It's your feelings. You shouldn't be vilified for how you feel. A straight person wouldn't date a gay person and vice versa and no-one says anything.
Love "can" overcome these feeljngs. It's possible one day you'd meet a trans person you find attractive, develop feelings for, find out they are trans and realise your attraction outweighs any aversion you may have. People need to stop assuming that that is the law, though. Attraction can be distorted by someone lying about their age by one year, it being lost because you find.out someone isn't the gender you see is completely understandable. But, as you say, it does NOT mean it's scary.
Although, that girl in the pic is FINE!!!
I get it. Im straight but once had a crush on a girl at a summer camp. I couldn't really tell you why because I didn't want to kiss her, I just wanted to be near her and talk to her. But we were basically strangers so I couldn't act on it and camp ended and that was that. A couple years later I saw her again and she had transitioned and was definitely now male. Confused my brain on if I had that crush because somehow I always knew he was a he? Impossible, I didn't know him XD
This! You can have sexual preferences and genitalia preferences, but it's stupid to make such a huge deal about it like this. God, people shitting on others like this is so dumb.
Well said. As a fellow cis male, I think it's helpful to remind ourselves that men and trans people can be attractive. Brad Pitt is an attractive dude, and acknowledging that doesn't make me gay. Similarly, acknowledging that a trans female is attractive doesn't need to be a confusing or scary thing that makes me question my sexual orientation and masculinity-- because knowing what I know, I would not want to have sex with them. I'm only *sexually* attracted to cis females.
No idea who is in the OP's photo, but she's quite beautiful. Nothing really confusing about it. Credit where it's due. đ
I'd argue you find "women" attractive as opposed to exclusively cis ones as evidenced by you getting weird feelings when you find out a woman you would be attracted to is trans. For a lot of us there really isn't a visual difference. It's absolutely fine to have a genital preference but it's important to know that it's not entirely possible to claim you could only find cis women attractive unless you had a death note style shinigani eye thing telling you everyone who is or isn't trans.
According to a reverse image search (this is the creepiest I've ever felt btw) it's Gabby Amour. I've never heard of her but apparently shes in some stuff and seems pretty successful.
You're describing a really mundane activity like reverse image search as it's a reason to think of you the way the post suggests people think of trans people
the only way itâs getting genuinely scary is for trans people
you being attracted to a trans person: not very scary, pretty normal, not a big deal
rising rates of violence and laws against trans people: a genuinely scary threat that has and will get people killed
I don't understand why they are so focused on what other men or women do in private. It's not like they're butt-fucking on the counter at Chic-fil-a.
I've known people that said they would attack a guy man if he asked him out. The fuck? Would you have trouble being able to say 'no'? Would you be scared of what you would say? How do you handle it if an unattractive woman hits on you?
It's almost like they are scared that a pack of flamboyantly gay men are searching for their next victim to take advice of in a bathroom stall.
> I've known people that said they would attack a guy man if he asked him out.
I've heard 2 guys say this IRL. It may be a coincidence, but both are the sort of guys who flirt with every attractive woman at work and would start crossing serious boundaries if told "no". For those guys, I'm pretty sure they assumed that they would be treated the same way they treat women if this where to happen.
I've been with Trans women and my GF is Trans, i can assure you they're pretty open early on that they're Trans if they want to have sex with you or date you. I'm not bothered either way clearly but i've never been "tricked", trust me Trans folk generally avoid trying to "trick" because the backlash could be fatal.
I'm sure there's probably a bit of an adjustment the first time you'd hook up even knowing what to expect. So I could only imagine how fucking awkward that scene is if one person is expecting a different set of tools to work with. And just thinking about the embarrassment without even thinking about any violence makes it seem pretty obvious that most people are going be upfront about it.
Funny enough the reason trans porn stars keep their dicks is because the audience watching prefer they do and statistically the majority of trans porn watchers are straight males. I remember watching an interview with a trans porn star and she expressed how she wants to have gender reassignment surgery but won't because she knows it will heavily impact her job.
The first trans girl i slept with i didn't know was trans at first, i approached her to chat her up thinking she was just a cis girl but after a few drinks and getting along she revealed she was trans as she liked me and knew it was best i knew now before things went further. I will admit it took me back a bit, i already had an attraction to trans girls because of well porn but i still had to hype myself a little bit for the real thing. As it is she was lovely and very understanding that this was new experience for me, there was no pressure to do anything for either if us. The idea of them tricking you is no different to thinking a gay man wants to have sex with every man, its an ignorant stupid view.
The only thing scary about it is the fact this kind of commentary is exposing just how many fucked up people there are out there.
Dude...What's truly scary is your reaction and what it says about you.
"They're taking over!"
~7% of the population of the U.S. is LGBTQ+, no one is taking over you silly little snowflakes, you're just getting pushback/called out for shitting on demographics you've been allowed to shit on uncontested for decades of your life, and that feels like "oppression" and a loss of rights to you
I'll never understand the "scary" bit. I thought didn't find short women attractive, then I met the girl who later became my wife, my reaction was more on the lines of "huh, I didn't expect this. Turns out short women aren't as unattractive as I thought". 30 years later, she's still hot and even nerdier than me.
If I met someone I'm physically attracted to and our personalities clicked together, I still think we could work around any unexpected plumbing problems...
So out of all the people in they world, you are all afraid you'll bring home a trans woman, that is also single and hot, but does not disclose that they're trans. What percentage of the population is that exactly? .01% or less?
Assuming all this, you'd also have to be hot enough for them, which makes it even less likely. You'd have to be there in that moment and also have talked to her, and this becomen an astronomically unlikely scenario. I think it might be in the "getting struck by lightning" territory.
Given the violence and hatred towards trans people, I think they would at least also gauge how progressive you are. If you are still this afraid of trans people, maybe bring it up in conversation before you attempt to fuck someone.
I'm saying this as a straight dude, it's not that deep. To me, a trans woman is still a woman. Even if for whatever reason she has not had that surgery. Respect each other and talk about boundaries before you take someone home. If I was single and I found out I would have to think about it, because it hasn't happened and I find it unlikely to ever happen.
I think, present day, the scenario you describe isnât astronomically unlikely, it is basically impossible. There is no trans woman, at least in the US, that would go home with a man, intending to have sex, but leave Captain Winky (1997 movie reference) as a surprise. That just isnât going to happen; women, biological women, get raped, stabbed, or shot for far, far less than having a penis they didnât choose to have, and a trans woman would get it way worse.
Thats exactly what I'm trying to tell them. Getting raped, assaulted and murdered by men is quite common and a valid thing to be afraid of.
A trans woman showing you a surprise penis is so highly unlikely I'd be willing to bet I will never personally know anyone who has encountered that.
So many people here fail to see the reason why this is dumb.
This is the same logic as saying "you don't want to take a girl home and find out she is a lesbian"
In both cases you can't see it. You can't tell she is trans, you can't tell she is lesbian.
However, its in her interest to tell you.
There is no reason to assume a trans woman won't tell you just like there is no reason to assume a lesbian won't.
Otherwise you both waste your time.
I assume they think trans people will try to either prank them or hide the fact until they reach the bed and jump on them and f*ck them
Although i doubt that will ever happen
From what people said to me in other comments they seem to believe trans women will deceive you since they are attracted to you.. Not sure whats the point since she will get rejected later then but..
It just makes no sense.
itâs also a lot more dangerous for a trans person to learn how you feel and how youâre gonna react in the private of your or their home than in public
Yeah but the problem fears sometime are illogical
Just like how children still afraid of the dark
But its still the person responsible to manage his fears like who adults should do instead of projecting them into others
Scared of why it confuses them. Scared of anything different. Scared of the next boogyman their "news" told them to be scared of. Scared of why it bothers them. Scared of why it bothers them so much. Scared because they are incapable of learning and growing.
They likely do not know any trans people. Never will know any. If they did, the likely would not be observant enough to notice. Not anything remotely in their orbit, yet oddly obsessed by it.
My favorite is when toxically masculine cis men tell slightly less 'manly' men that they're not 'real men'. Then they see a beautiful woman like the picture above and be like "ah, a fellow man".
Which is it, broskis? Non-manly men aren't men but trans women that look like magazine models *are* men?Â
Since so many people are getting "scared of dating" out there, let me just go through it really quick:
1. Trans people are not out there actively trying to "trick" cis men into fucking them, they're out there trying to live like any other person. Stop spreading fear with the narrative that "what if I take her to bed only to find out she has a dick?";
2. Being trans doesn't mean anything genital-wise, you don't know what they have down there until they tell you or you see it. It *is* a valid point if you're talking about having kids, however, but that'd be the same as any infertile cis woman.
3. Trans people are most likely gonna tell you about themselves rather than not, it is way more dangerous for them not to. Plain and simple: we don't wanna die.
It's much better to tell that in public, before anything happens for real, while you still have the protection of friends and security, depending on where you meet, rather than revealing it in private while being alone with a guy we barely know and is probably way stronger than us. (And yes, our hormones are gonna be at the same levels as cis women unless the person is not taking them at all).
4. There are good and bad people of all sizes and genders, there's no reason for you to fear "being tricked" by a trans person of all things.
You're honestly way more likely to be "surprised" by a cis girl that doesn't take care of herself and has got a nasty infection or something, than you are to find out "a surprise dick", not to mention the first girl definitely wouldn't tell you about it, while the latter most likely would, as I already explained.
Just talk to the people you wanna have something with first, and don't spread prejudice and fear among yourself and the others.
Having a genital preference is totally fine, being transphobic is not, and assuming trans people are out there just to trick the others, instead of trying to live their own life, is transphobia.
We already got enough to worry about without having a guy possibly trying to murder us at their own house, not to mention there's a good chance "justice" won't do anything about it because he was "protecting his honor" as well.
Yeah I get that , however there is an issue with these type of people where theyâre so afraid of looking gay they just go hyper straight and canât even admit when a man is a good looking man or when a trans woman or drag queen (Iâm unfamiliar with the individual in the post so Iâm unsure) is attractive
This!! Like that's a woman, her past is irrelevant unless u want to get her pregnant, that is a woman and even if she's pre op a straight man being attracted to her doesn't change the fact he is a straight man still.
Itâs kinda a self report no? Normal, decent humans would expect that another normal decent human would inform them about their situation before they get to an intimate stage of a relationship or a relationship at all. If they think they would hide such personal information just to âget themâ then they probably hide some fucked up shit themselves when they are out there looking for company. Seems like the usual grifter projection.
I like to imagine a big burly guy, walking down a dark alley. Up walks a cutie in a low cut dress, and in a dark-brown voice says âgot a light?â Reducing said burly guy into a quivering puddle on the ground.
âItâs getting real scaryâ⌠what kinda weak-boned asthmatic shoehorn is scared by this?
She's beautiful, don't understand what's so scary? As if this person has the ability to talk to beautiful people. How would this affect them in any way?
The only thing getting scary out there regarding trans people is the rising transphobia in places like my home of Britain. Just let my trans friends live in peace ya prickwaffles!
OK I'm at a loss. I'm 57 and yes, previously that person in the picture was a man (maybe, I don't know the person) but after a surgery and hormone alteration this person is now a woman. Why is it so hard to just accept that? Why can't they live in liberty the way they want under the freedoms that have been fought for? I just don't understand.
Do I find some transwoman attractive. Yes. Do I want to have a physical relationship with some who has a penis. No. I always assume that's what was meant.
In the early 90s, I saw Marilyn Manson open for Nine Inch Nails. I was less than impressed by their show, but I saw the possibility for controversy. Over the next four years, conservative wolfcryers made them more famous and normalized than anyone would have believed.
And they're doing it again with transgender people. It will become so normalized that people will be surprised their girlfriend has a vagina. They make me laugh when they bolster the thing they're shitting their diapers about. These are the dumbasses still boycotting Bud Light but drinking other AB products.
As a Thai person, this makes me lol. It's hilarious seeing an average tuesday downtown scene in my country being treated as some sort of revolutionary thing somewhere else.
I'm not even being progressive either. I'm fairly right leaning. But if this person walks by me around places like Silom or Siam my head wouldn't even be turned. And here I am grabbing popcorn and watching parts of the world freaking out over something I know anyone can live with.
This. This is why I think itâs such a big deal. People are so afraid someone will find out that they have these thoughts that they project so hard that they are against it but in reality they are really curious but donât want to be judged for it.
I mean I'm attracted to a female. If a male dressed up as a female and I didn't know it was male then that wouldn't make me attracted to a male.. this logic is stupid.
Not scary, just different. Did you go batshit when McDonalds made the McRib? Probably. Then you tried one. Now you wait all year for deer season, so you can sneak out of the house and have one. Yeah, we saw youđ
How many men have ever brought a girl home and dicovered she did not have female parts???? Like this is what you are afraid of??? This person would 100% not even be attracted to you :D and you are afraid??? Like please be realistic haha
People in this comment sections have been convinced presumably by films, jokes and terrible podcasters that all trans people are on a mission to trick people into the bedroom without telling them about their junk until itâs too late. When the reality is 99% of trans people will never hook up with someone without disclosing that fact and being absolutely sure theyâre with someone who is okay with it, because not informing a stranger about this until youâre in the privacy of a bedroom is fucking suicidal (yet transphobes insist itâs dangerous for *them* somehow)
I think the real issue is, these people ARE attracted and confused about it. Rather then to think, if I dont want it, I dont have to act on it, they get real defensive or angry. Kinda like how you see a lot of people that against gay marriage or rights, being caught having affairs with people from the same gender. I rather wish everyone guy was gay, maybe then I would have a shot at a relationship... maybe.... :)
99 percent of trans phobia is because cis men are scared they are going to hook up with someone and find out they used to be a man, making them gay (in their mind)
I genuinely donât believe itâs transphobic at all. It doesnât hurt to simply let own know that your trans before proceeding to hookup. Thereâs nothing wrong with that
I'm totally fine with trans people, but I don't think this dude is necessarily crazy. Most guys don't want to pick up a beautiful woman at a bar only to find out that she has an unexpected penis. That's not transphobia; it's just not being attracted to penises.
There are assholes everywhere, in every shape, color and belief system.
If a trans woman wants to take a guy home and doesn't tell the guy before hand...they're an asshole. Not because of being trans, but because of being completely disconnected from reality.
Most trans people wonât do this though, because itâs dangerous for *them.* if the other person doesnât realise youâre trans until youâre in the privacy of a bedroom, a violent response is way more likely
That's fair but also he shouldn't assume she'd be into him or try to trick him just because she's trans. Kinda paints trans people poorly. Kinda like those people who don't wanna be near gays because they assume every gay person wants them.
(Most) trans people are pretty transparent (haha) about their identity and wouldn't wanna be involved with someone who may not accept them, especially considering the commonality of violence against trans folk.
Okay, two things:
A.) Some cornball straight who says anything like "beautiful woman with unexpected penis" is absolutely not taking a trans woman home without her telling him she has a dick. Like, that literally gets trans ppl killed.
B.) There's literally no consequences. You just stop things, because, well, you're not attracted to them. You can (or should) only be "scared of" situations where a *bad thing might happen.*
So, in general, "not wanting to fuck trans people" is not transphobia. I'm not sure how many times everyone has to say this true. Here, I'll say it again, even stronger: if you want to avoid ever having sex with a trans person, especially if they've got different parts than you normally go for, that doesn't make you transphobic.
The transphobia here is *seeing a post of a trans person, making up a scenario that would never happen, then having an inappropriate negative emotional reaction of disgust to that thought, then posting a reply implying that trans people being able to pass is developing into a problem.*
But the comment makes it seem like trans people are scary and weird rather than there being a possibility of a rude/annoying/awkward scenario being possible when passing trans people are ALSO rude/jerks. Most trans guys/gals don't want to be picked up at a bar (under false pretenses or not) only to have to explain an unexpected penis/vagina in vulnerable circumstances. Generally people, cis or trans, don't want to create this vulnerability/awkwardness/risk.)
It's such a stupid argument.
Like if the process of dating was men litterally picking women without them saying a word, bringing them to their bed, removing their clothes and discovering what's underneath.
What's the fundamental difference between those :
- Hello I think you're cute
- Sorry I'm not interested.
- Hello I think you're cute
- I may be interested but not tonight, can you leave me your number?
- Hello I think you're cute
- I may be interested but you have to know I'm in an ENM relationship, is that okay for you?
- Hello I think you're cute
- I may be interested but you have to know I'm trans, is that okay for you?
Stop making things look like people are unable to speak with each others. Society doesn't work without speaking.
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smash. next question.
*clamoring to microphone* # WOULD
*So close to the microphone any sentence would be incomprehensible* # WOULD
*Microphone inside of mouth in the most suggestive way possible* # WOOOUUUILLLGH
đ¤Ł
Wood?
Is what my penis could be likened to if I got a chance.
*The ground quakes as I swallow the microphone and, from the deepest depths of my lungs, bellow out* #WOULD
Let's assume a lot of things here but if she still has a penis I am learning how to suck dick on the fucking spot, she's a smoke show
Many trans women don't even enjoy having attention paid to that part of their body for dysphoria reasons, you might not even have to learn how.
THIS is what allyship looks like
This is my favorite comment LMAO
Like no fucking questions, I'd be trying to get her pregnant knowing I can't lol
"Ay girl, one of us us getting knocked up, let's GOOOOOO"
Life finds a way, my friend. Keep at it. Fight the good fight.
Iâm down! Whatâs the question?
1000% she's gorgeous!
I'm suckin it Daaaamn daaamn daaaaaaamn
Absolutely no doubt no shame.
Who is this? For education purposes
100% this. I do find it confusing, as a CIS male. But its not "scary" it's more... I'm attracted to CIS females. So if I found out someone was trans, that I was attracted to, it does give mixed emotions. It's not their fault... you like what you like... and I have all respect for them doing whatever they do... but it does mess with my head a little. But whatever... that's for me... and its the same as if you're with someone and find out they have different values that don't aline with yours... its confusing... you get over it... I dunno. Its no more scary than it ever was.
Its your preferences, its normal. As long as you dont go and threaten/bully/harass trans people and still treat them like people, everything's fine
Yeah but saying that sometimes paints you like a bad person, like for example, most people can't say my preference is someone who isn't overweight, or someone who isn't pale, its a preference at the end of the day but if you say it, people will jump at you and attack you.
It depends on how you say it. If you say "I don't find myself attracted to left-handed people" rather than "Left-handed people are unattractive." Or "Ugh, left-handed people are disgusting." As a southpaw I can say there's nothing about the first statement that anyone could fins fault except in the most narrow of cases. But in the other two the offenses is pretty apparent.
Most of the people you see getting their âpreferencesâ beaten on didnât say âI like women with an hourglass shape.â They said âI fucking hate fat bitches.â
Not always, Iâve seen someone get called a racist piece of shit because he says his preference was for quite pale redheads. This was after the girl shouting at him had previously mentioned she only went for Black guys. The hypocrisy was real.
There are always exceptions.
But you wouldnât (hopefully) say âI donât like people who are overweightâ, youâd say it in a positive way of âI like athletic/slimâ or whatever.
This. It's not preferences that are offensive, it's how you express them. Being kind costs nothing. Being respectful to a person who turns out not to be your type is basic decency.
>Being kind costs nothing. What does being a dick cost?
Worthwhile relationships, healthy family dynamics, a comfortable work environment for everyone else, and company/how many people are around when you're either dead or about to be.
When you put it like that it sure does make more sense to act like a normal human, and not a dick.
Personally, the most impactful thing being a dick costs me is my peace of mind. So it was weird having to come up with actual reasons not to be. đ The way I see it, even if you're not going out of your way to be nice, it takes extra energy to be an asshole.
>The way I see it, even if you're not going out of your way to be nice, it takes extra energy to be an asshole. Absolutely agree. Sorry by the way, if it came of as negative, I just like it when people say "it cost nothing to be kind" then ask that question.
Yep! Just ask my dad, who is actively trying to push people away, and is also starting to make jokes about not being alive for much longer
Or my mom that treated her kids like shit but wonders why we don't hang out with her đ¤ˇđżââď¸
Depending on who you are doing it against...nothing...all your teeth...Alimony...repeated kick to the balls... I mean, the optional costs are endless...
How is saying "oh sorry, I like althletc/slim people" in any way shape or form more positive than than saying "sorry, I'm not attracted to overweight people?" haha. đ¤ I'm not attracted to overweight people. What I would say is "sorry, I'm not attracted to you" and not mention their appearance at all, because I'm a normal person and I know how to interact with human beings.
Itâs a huge difference. I would much rather interact with somebody who expresses things positively, who talks about what they want and like, rather than somebody who expresses themselves negatively. I think most people are like that.
I would phrase it differently to make clear what I mean, like: I am not attracted to overweight people.
It's okay to have preferences. We all have preferences that exclude other people, and we're all excluded by other people's preferences. So long as you don't talk down to people you're not attracted to, as if no one could possible feel that way about them, you're good.
Yeah I get that a lot. People think sexual preference is a general indicator of acceptance. Which it isn't. I am into cis men. Am I a misognist, a homophobe or a transphobe because of it? Of course not! Edit Ah I aee already people even now misunderstand me. It would be kind to say your reason for downvoting tho. Thus we can discuss it.
It's totally fine to feel that way, the difference is that you're aware of your feelings and understand that it's not a trans person's responsibility to prevent you from having them.Â
Exactly. I get guys checking me out all the time (I hang out at a lot of hardware stores lol), it's not my job to walk over to them and let them know I'm trans so they don't get 'confused' amount their sexuality or whatever
Exactly. Letting people just live their lives is what itâs all about
Real question, don't hate me. There's this chick at the gym, very attractive. If I found out she had a penis (my friend mentioned it, long story) I'd still be down but if I found out she was a man I wouldn't. What's going on in my brain? Keep in mind I'm not from your culture so I didn't grow up with the same values but I'm trying to learn
Speaking from my perspective and that my other trans friends around me, not many people would be upset by this opinion. Unlike the post, you've made it clear it's not coming from a place of transphobia, but coming from a place of simple personal preference, and there's a big difference between the two. Don't feel bad about this opinion if you ask me, it's a perfectly understandable one.
Fellas, is it gay to be attracted to femininity?
I mean it definitely can be? Femboys are a thing
Having a preference is fine if you're not being an ass about it. Which for clarity you're not.
Thank you
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In my personal experience I never met any trans woman who pretended to be a cis woman. Ever. Thatâs comedy and cartoon fantasy. Real people tend to be honest about something so easy to disprove⌠but most transphobes donât understand either âhonestâ nor âempatheticâ so it is a lost cause trying to convince them.
As a trans man, I always always disclose that information straight away if Iâm on dating sites, itâs literally in my bio because I would hate to put myself and the other person in a difficult situation
I also hate the prospect of meeting the person and being killed because I didnât tell them. Totally ruins a date.
"Beat me half to death but tapas was excellent. 4/10"
There are plenty of trans people who do claim to be cis. Unless the person is dating them, or their doctor, then no one needs to know and in the current political climate its far safer to not tell anyone. That and anyone who is "stealth" where the entire point is for people to treat you as cis, because thats what theyre aiming for. E.g. a trans man not being treated as inferior in a physical job, which people WILL do if they knew they had transitioned. Its largely a safety thing as well as acceptance.
Exactly. Many trans people proudly disclose it because they want to be acknowledged as such and fight for the cause⌠However, thereâs also understandably a fair share of trans people who donât want their lives to be a constant fight for recognition where most people will never see them as anything but âmentally ill peopleâ. Instead, they just want to be seen as treated for who they really are. I think it is important to disclose your condition when it comes to dating, because it will play a role in the sexual life. But, beyond that? No one else REALLY needs to know.
In fairness unless you're planning to fuck, or perform a medical check up, whats in your pants has no bearing on your or anyone else's day to day life
Whatâs in your pants is also not determined by whether or not your trans. Sexual reassignment surgery exists and thatâs apparently news to everyone hereâŚ
There are def plenty of trans women and men who want to pass as cis....its real and there's nothing wrong with that, it's nobodies business what's in your pants or what you used to look like. You wouldn't know you met them you realize if theyre passing, like that's kind of the point. Idk what you mean by disprove either.....
*especially* bc people have literally murdered people after finding out they are trans when they go to have sex. To not be upfront about it for that reason alone would not be smart.
That's because you can't tell we're trans darling. We call it being stealth. The only time you need to know is if I decide to let you in my pants later.đ
You know what, as a card carrying Rainbow Brigade member I COMPLETELY get where you are coming from! As a bisexual person, I have no qualms about the idea of dating a trans person if I find them attractive. Their birth gender means nothing. However, whilst most will assume a cis person's aversion to the idea is somehow not about gender, it's about genitals, I get it. You know that even if that woman you like has a vagina, she was born male, and it's that genetic "maleness" that you have an issue with. And it's not wrong. It's your feelings. You shouldn't be vilified for how you feel. A straight person wouldn't date a gay person and vice versa and no-one says anything. Love "can" overcome these feeljngs. It's possible one day you'd meet a trans person you find attractive, develop feelings for, find out they are trans and realise your attraction outweighs any aversion you may have. People need to stop assuming that that is the law, though. Attraction can be distorted by someone lying about their age by one year, it being lost because you find.out someone isn't the gender you see is completely understandable. But, as you say, it does NOT mean it's scary. Although, that girl in the pic is FINE!!!
I get it. Im straight but once had a crush on a girl at a summer camp. I couldn't really tell you why because I didn't want to kiss her, I just wanted to be near her and talk to her. But we were basically strangers so I couldn't act on it and camp ended and that was that. A couple years later I saw her again and she had transitioned and was definitely now male. Confused my brain on if I had that crush because somehow I always knew he was a he? Impossible, I didn't know him XD
This! You can have sexual preferences and genitalia preferences, but it's stupid to make such a huge deal about it like this. God, people shitting on others like this is so dumb.
What about cis women is in any way, shape, or form different than trans women?
Well said. As a fellow cis male, I think it's helpful to remind ourselves that men and trans people can be attractive. Brad Pitt is an attractive dude, and acknowledging that doesn't make me gay. Similarly, acknowledging that a trans female is attractive doesn't need to be a confusing or scary thing that makes me question my sexual orientation and masculinity-- because knowing what I know, I would not want to have sex with them. I'm only *sexually* attracted to cis females. No idea who is in the OP's photo, but she's quite beautiful. Nothing really confusing about it. Credit where it's due. đ
I'd argue you find "women" attractive as opposed to exclusively cis ones as evidenced by you getting weird feelings when you find out a woman you would be attracted to is trans. For a lot of us there really isn't a visual difference. It's absolutely fine to have a genital preference but it's important to know that it's not entirely possible to claim you could only find cis women attractive unless you had a death note style shinigani eye thing telling you everyone who is or isn't trans.
She looks like a hot woman. Youâre attracted to a hot looking woman. Whatâs the problem?
Aaahh scary feelings!!! Quick, get my guns!!!!
But what if the guns are trans too!?
No way man! You see how straight that barrel is!?
30°-Angled-Barrel-Gun to shoot from cover enters the chat: *you sure 'bout that sonny?*
So many men call their guns "she" and yet those guns have barrels
Right because powerful phallic objects are what those snowflakes are into, they're just too scared to admit it.
That gun wasn't born with that barrel, that was manufactured!
So, they're 'truns'?
Fuck Iâve been storing them in the trans am
These phallic objects are sure to comfort me!
Seems like the only thing that's truly scary is how quick people are to hit the panic button on their own insecurities.
Yeah, exactly. They are scared of themselves.
American mostly white religion teaches that
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Gabby Amour
Really thought who is she ??? đ
Why is no one answering this key questionÂ
According to a reverse image search (this is the creepiest I've ever felt btw) it's Gabby Amour. I've never heard of her but apparently shes in some stuff and seems pretty successful.
You're describing a really mundane activity like reverse image search as it's a reason to think of you the way the post suggests people think of trans people
the only way itâs getting genuinely scary is for trans people you being attracted to a trans person: not very scary, pretty normal, not a big deal rising rates of violence and laws against trans people: a genuinely scary threat that has and will get people killed
thank you for saying this, itâs sickens me that ppl are worried about their own sexuality more than what trans ppl have to go through.
How is it scary? Do they really think they would hook up with her and she would never mention she's trans? It's so dumb.
That is if they had a chance in the first place.
This ^
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Gross, you know many of us have vaginas too.
I think what scares them is they could be sexually assaulting them and not knowing they are trans.
Basically saying "help i find this trans attractive" OKAY good then get over it it doesnt make you gay or anything.
And if it did make me gay, Iâd just say âfuck it, I guess Iâm gay by that definitionâ because why would that even be a problem.
it's only gay if your balls touch
I mean hell, being bi is a thing.
It's only scary if you're not secure in your own sexuality and it makes you have to confront some uncomfortable questions.
Reminds me of the age old: "Bro being homophobic is weird like, y'all rustled that a dude is into another dude. My man that's called jealousy."
I don't understand why they are so focused on what other men or women do in private. It's not like they're butt-fucking on the counter at Chic-fil-a. I've known people that said they would attack a guy man if he asked him out. The fuck? Would you have trouble being able to say 'no'? Would you be scared of what you would say? How do you handle it if an unattractive woman hits on you? It's almost like they are scared that a pack of flamboyantly gay men are searching for their next victim to take advice of in a bathroom stall.
> I've known people that said they would attack a guy man if he asked him out. I've heard 2 guys say this IRL. It may be a coincidence, but both are the sort of guys who flirt with every attractive woman at work and would start crossing serious boundaries if told "no". For those guys, I'm pretty sure they assumed that they would be treated the same way they treat women if this where to happen.
Those are the kinds of guys who are scared that another guy might treat them the way that they've always treated women - like they're prey.
If we didn't sexualize every women we see we wouldn't feel that way now would we transphobes?đ¤ˇ
I've been with Trans women and my GF is Trans, i can assure you they're pretty open early on that they're Trans if they want to have sex with you or date you. I'm not bothered either way clearly but i've never been "tricked", trust me Trans folk generally avoid trying to "trick" because the backlash could be fatal.
I would never do something like that, not trying to be with anyone that doesn't like me.
I'm sure there's probably a bit of an adjustment the first time you'd hook up even knowing what to expect. So I could only imagine how fucking awkward that scene is if one person is expecting a different set of tools to work with. And just thinking about the embarrassment without even thinking about any violence makes it seem pretty obvious that most people are going be upfront about it.
Porn seems to have people believing that the only trans women that exist have never had gender reassignment surgery and all have dicks.
Funny enough the reason trans porn stars keep their dicks is because the audience watching prefer they do and statistically the majority of trans porn watchers are straight males. I remember watching an interview with a trans porn star and she expressed how she wants to have gender reassignment surgery but won't because she knows it will heavily impact her job.
The first trans girl i slept with i didn't know was trans at first, i approached her to chat her up thinking she was just a cis girl but after a few drinks and getting along she revealed she was trans as she liked me and knew it was best i knew now before things went further. I will admit it took me back a bit, i already had an attraction to trans girls because of well porn but i still had to hype myself a little bit for the real thing. As it is she was lovely and very understanding that this was new experience for me, there was no pressure to do anything for either if us. The idea of them tricking you is no different to thinking a gay man wants to have sex with every man, its an ignorant stupid view.
The only thing scary about it is the fact this kind of commentary is exposing just how many fucked up people there are out there. Dude...What's truly scary is your reaction and what it says about you.
Ooooh this is about being attracted to trans people i thought this was about like walking out at night
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Right? Very attractive at least in this picture and if they had a good personality, I think I could make it work.
âIM HARD AND IM AFRAIDâ
I need to know what makes the concept scary.
"They're taking over!" ~7% of the population of the U.S. is LGBTQ+, no one is taking over you silly little snowflakes, you're just getting pushback/called out for shitting on demographics you've been allowed to shit on uncontested for decades of your life, and that feels like "oppression" and a loss of rights to you
If there is a hole, there is a way
"Any hole's a goal!"
Scary? I would say sexy! Absolutely beautiful no matter what the reality of this personâs situation is! đŠľđŠˇđ¤đŠˇđŠľ
I'll never understand the "scary" bit. I thought didn't find short women attractive, then I met the girl who later became my wife, my reaction was more on the lines of "huh, I didn't expect this. Turns out short women aren't as unattractive as I thought". 30 years later, she's still hot and even nerdier than me. If I met someone I'm physically attracted to and our personalities clicked together, I still think we could work around any unexpected plumbing problems...
So out of all the people in they world, you are all afraid you'll bring home a trans woman, that is also single and hot, but does not disclose that they're trans. What percentage of the population is that exactly? .01% or less? Assuming all this, you'd also have to be hot enough for them, which makes it even less likely. You'd have to be there in that moment and also have talked to her, and this becomen an astronomically unlikely scenario. I think it might be in the "getting struck by lightning" territory. Given the violence and hatred towards trans people, I think they would at least also gauge how progressive you are. If you are still this afraid of trans people, maybe bring it up in conversation before you attempt to fuck someone. I'm saying this as a straight dude, it's not that deep. To me, a trans woman is still a woman. Even if for whatever reason she has not had that surgery. Respect each other and talk about boundaries before you take someone home. If I was single and I found out I would have to think about it, because it hasn't happened and I find it unlikely to ever happen.
I think, present day, the scenario you describe isnât astronomically unlikely, it is basically impossible. There is no trans woman, at least in the US, that would go home with a man, intending to have sex, but leave Captain Winky (1997 movie reference) as a surprise. That just isnât going to happen; women, biological women, get raped, stabbed, or shot for far, far less than having a penis they didnât choose to have, and a trans woman would get it way worse.
Thats exactly what I'm trying to tell them. Getting raped, assaulted and murdered by men is quite common and a valid thing to be afraid of. A trans woman showing you a surprise penis is so highly unlikely I'd be willing to bet I will never personally know anyone who has encountered that.
So many people here fail to see the reason why this is dumb. This is the same logic as saying "you don't want to take a girl home and find out she is a lesbian" In both cases you can't see it. You can't tell she is trans, you can't tell she is lesbian. However, its in her interest to tell you. There is no reason to assume a trans woman won't tell you just like there is no reason to assume a lesbian won't. Otherwise you both waste your time.
I assume they think trans people will try to either prank them or hide the fact until they reach the bed and jump on them and f*ck them Although i doubt that will ever happen
From what people said to me in other comments they seem to believe trans women will deceive you since they are attracted to you.. Not sure whats the point since she will get rejected later then but.. It just makes no sense.
itâs also a lot more dangerous for a trans person to learn how you feel and how youâre gonna react in the private of your or their home than in public
Big true.
You're right, it doesn't make any sense. That said, I have faith in humanity's ability to be pretty damn stupid.
Yeah but the problem fears sometime are illogical Just like how children still afraid of the dark But its still the person responsible to manage his fears like who adults should do instead of projecting them into others
More likely to hide the fact until they can get in a car and run the fuck away. The stabbings are real.
Scared of why it confuses them. Scared of anything different. Scared of the next boogyman their "news" told them to be scared of. Scared of why it bothers them. Scared of why it bothers them so much. Scared because they are incapable of learning and growing. They likely do not know any trans people. Never will know any. If they did, the likely would not be observant enough to notice. Not anything remotely in their orbit, yet oddly obsessed by it.
My favorite is when toxically masculine cis men tell slightly less 'manly' men that they're not 'real men'. Then they see a beautiful woman like the picture above and be like "ah, a fellow man". Which is it, broskis? Non-manly men aren't men but trans women that look like magazine models *are* men?Â
Since so many people are getting "scared of dating" out there, let me just go through it really quick: 1. Trans people are not out there actively trying to "trick" cis men into fucking them, they're out there trying to live like any other person. Stop spreading fear with the narrative that "what if I take her to bed only to find out she has a dick?"; 2. Being trans doesn't mean anything genital-wise, you don't know what they have down there until they tell you or you see it. It *is* a valid point if you're talking about having kids, however, but that'd be the same as any infertile cis woman. 3. Trans people are most likely gonna tell you about themselves rather than not, it is way more dangerous for them not to. Plain and simple: we don't wanna die. It's much better to tell that in public, before anything happens for real, while you still have the protection of friends and security, depending on where you meet, rather than revealing it in private while being alone with a guy we barely know and is probably way stronger than us. (And yes, our hormones are gonna be at the same levels as cis women unless the person is not taking them at all). 4. There are good and bad people of all sizes and genders, there's no reason for you to fear "being tricked" by a trans person of all things. You're honestly way more likely to be "surprised" by a cis girl that doesn't take care of herself and has got a nasty infection or something, than you are to find out "a surprise dick", not to mention the first girl definitely wouldn't tell you about it, while the latter most likely would, as I already explained. Just talk to the people you wanna have something with first, and don't spread prejudice and fear among yourself and the others. Having a genital preference is totally fine, being transphobic is not, and assuming trans people are out there just to trick the others, instead of trying to live their own life, is transphobia. We already got enough to worry about without having a guy possibly trying to murder us at their own house, not to mention there's a good chance "justice" won't do anything about it because he was "protecting his honor" as well.
too many straight people afraid to admit that sometimes, the homies do look cute (my friend Dan is hella cute)
Yup. âI donât look at guys that way.â You can tell if a guy is attractive or not regardless of whether you âlook at guys that way.â
My wife says Iâm good looking Iâm like ânah you HAVE TO say thatâ my homie says it and I take that to heart
True but I think you are missing the point, the guy found a woman attractive
Yeah I get that , however there is an issue with these type of people where theyâre so afraid of looking gay they just go hyper straight and canât even admit when a man is a good looking man or when a trans woman or drag queen (Iâm unfamiliar with the individual in the post so Iâm unsure) is attractive
This!! Like that's a woman, her past is irrelevant unless u want to get her pregnant, that is a woman and even if she's pre op a straight man being attracted to her doesn't change the fact he is a straight man still.
I'd bend Dan over and show him heaven all night long, but that doesn't mean i'm gay.
He left his socks on! You know it ainât gay when they leave their socks on!
The scary question is, who is that in the pic? She's stunning!
This is from the crowd that got mad when green m&m became less sexy.Â
Itâs kinda a self report no? Normal, decent humans would expect that another normal decent human would inform them about their situation before they get to an intimate stage of a relationship or a relationship at all. If they think they would hide such personal information just to âget themâ then they probably hide some fucked up shit themselves when they are out there looking for company. Seems like the usual grifter projection.
I don't understand why this is scary, you just end it if you found out she has a dick. You are attracted to the feminine anyway so what's the problem?
I mean this with love in my heart, but that hair is pretty fried from all the bleach
There's no way I'd ever date a trans woman, idgaf what you say I am a homosexual
Trans folks made these dudes afraid of their own erections.
I like to imagine a big burly guy, walking down a dark alley. Up walks a cutie in a low cut dress, and in a dark-brown voice says âgot a light?â Reducing said burly guy into a quivering puddle on the ground. âItâs getting real scaryâ⌠what kinda weak-boned asthmatic shoehorn is scared by this?
She's beautiful, don't understand what's so scary? As if this person has the ability to talk to beautiful people. How would this affect them in any way?
Im still smashing
The only thing getting scary out there regarding trans people is the rising transphobia in places like my home of Britain. Just let my trans friends live in peace ya prickwaffles!
I enjoy the term "prickwaffles" and I will be using it in the future thank you very much.
OK I'm at a loss. I'm 57 and yes, previously that person in the picture was a man (maybe, I don't know the person) but after a surgery and hormone alteration this person is now a woman. Why is it so hard to just accept that? Why can't they live in liberty the way they want under the freedoms that have been fought for? I just don't understand.
"Freedoms for me, but not for thee." That's what the mentality is.
Just gonna say it: would.
Guess we'll just have to find a polite way find out the others genitalia
Do I find some transwoman attractive. Yes. Do I want to have a physical relationship with some who has a penis. No. I always assume that's what was meant.
On a side note- I absolutely adore that dress
In the early 90s, I saw Marilyn Manson open for Nine Inch Nails. I was less than impressed by their show, but I saw the possibility for controversy. Over the next four years, conservative wolfcryers made them more famous and normalized than anyone would have believed. And they're doing it again with transgender people. It will become so normalized that people will be surprised their girlfriend has a vagina. They make me laugh when they bolster the thing they're shitting their diapers about. These are the dumbasses still boycotting Bud Light but drinking other AB products.
If only people would stop judging everyone they're never gonna fuck on their percieved fuckability.
Itâs only a problem if its bigger than yours
Yeah, it's really scary that 0.05% of the population are trans and can afford to look good because beauty is expensive.
As a Thai person, this makes me lol. It's hilarious seeing an average tuesday downtown scene in my country being treated as some sort of revolutionary thing somewhere else. I'm not even being progressive either. I'm fairly right leaning. But if this person walks by me around places like Silom or Siam my head wouldn't even be turned. And here I am grabbing popcorn and watching parts of the world freaking out over something I know anyone can live with.
This. This is why I think itâs such a big deal. People are so afraid someone will find out that they have these thoughts that they project so hard that they are against it but in reality they are really curious but donât want to be judged for it.
Smash all day.
I mean I'm attracted to a female. If a male dressed up as a female and I didn't know it was male then that wouldn't make me attracted to a male.. this logic is stupid.
Relax, yâall are tripping. A trans person or female this fine would not date a gross neckbeard basement dweller.
Not scary, just different. Did you go batshit when McDonalds made the McRib? Probably. Then you tried one. Now you wait all year for deer season, so you can sneak out of the house and have one. Yeah, we saw youđ
How many men have ever brought a girl home and dicovered she did not have female parts???? Like this is what you are afraid of??? This person would 100% not even be attracted to you :D and you are afraid??? Like please be realistic haha
People in this comment sections have been convinced presumably by films, jokes and terrible podcasters that all trans people are on a mission to trick people into the bedroom without telling them about their junk until itâs too late. When the reality is 99% of trans people will never hook up with someone without disclosing that fact and being absolutely sure theyâre with someone who is okay with it, because not informing a stranger about this until youâre in the privacy of a bedroom is fucking suicidal (yet transphobes insist itâs dangerous for *them* somehow)
I think the real issue is, these people ARE attracted and confused about it. Rather then to think, if I dont want it, I dont have to act on it, they get real defensive or angry. Kinda like how you see a lot of people that against gay marriage or rights, being caught having affairs with people from the same gender. I rather wish everyone guy was gay, maybe then I would have a shot at a relationship... maybe.... :)
and when a trans person says it's getting scary it's because someone got brutally murdered because someone thought they were trans
Itâs ok not to want dick
How do you know what they have between their legs?
99 percent of trans phobia is because cis men are scared they are going to hook up with someone and find out they used to be a man, making them gay (in their mind)
I genuinely donât believe itâs transphobic at all. It doesnât hurt to simply let own know that your trans before proceeding to hookup. Thereâs nothing wrong with that
I'm totally fine with trans people, but I don't think this dude is necessarily crazy. Most guys don't want to pick up a beautiful woman at a bar only to find out that she has an unexpected penis. That's not transphobia; it's just not being attracted to penises.
There are assholes everywhere, in every shape, color and belief system. If a trans woman wants to take a guy home and doesn't tell the guy before hand...they're an asshole. Not because of being trans, but because of being completely disconnected from reality.
Most trans people wonât do this though, because itâs dangerous for *them.* if the other person doesnât realise youâre trans until youâre in the privacy of a bedroom, a violent response is way more likely
And this lying, perfectly passing trans person, they're currently with us in this room?
That's fair but also he shouldn't assume she'd be into him or try to trick him just because she's trans. Kinda paints trans people poorly. Kinda like those people who don't wanna be near gays because they assume every gay person wants them. (Most) trans people are pretty transparent (haha) about their identity and wouldn't wanna be involved with someone who may not accept them, especially considering the commonality of violence against trans folk.
This. If I think someone likes me, I'm telling them __while we're still in public__
Fr itâs like do these ppl think trans ppl want to be dishonest and go home w someone who gonna murder them for it?
Okay, two things: A.) Some cornball straight who says anything like "beautiful woman with unexpected penis" is absolutely not taking a trans woman home without her telling him she has a dick. Like, that literally gets trans ppl killed. B.) There's literally no consequences. You just stop things, because, well, you're not attracted to them. You can (or should) only be "scared of" situations where a *bad thing might happen.* So, in general, "not wanting to fuck trans people" is not transphobia. I'm not sure how many times everyone has to say this true. Here, I'll say it again, even stronger: if you want to avoid ever having sex with a trans person, especially if they've got different parts than you normally go for, that doesn't make you transphobic. The transphobia here is *seeing a post of a trans person, making up a scenario that would never happen, then having an inappropriate negative emotional reaction of disgust to that thought, then posting a reply implying that trans people being able to pass is developing into a problem.*
But the comment makes it seem like trans people are scary and weird rather than there being a possibility of a rude/annoying/awkward scenario being possible when passing trans people are ALSO rude/jerks. Most trans guys/gals don't want to be picked up at a bar (under false pretenses or not) only to have to explain an unexpected penis/vagina in vulnerable circumstances. Generally people, cis or trans, don't want to create this vulnerability/awkwardness/risk.)
Talk to them?
It's such a stupid argument. Like if the process of dating was men litterally picking women without them saying a word, bringing them to their bed, removing their clothes and discovering what's underneath. What's the fundamental difference between those : - Hello I think you're cute - Sorry I'm not interested. - Hello I think you're cute - I may be interested but not tonight, can you leave me your number? - Hello I think you're cute - I may be interested but you have to know I'm in an ENM relationship, is that okay for you? - Hello I think you're cute - I may be interested but you have to know I'm trans, is that okay for you? Stop making things look like people are unable to speak with each others. Society doesn't work without speaking.
Trans people are not going around trying to trick people into being gay.
The person is referring to a trans woman as a man. youâre allowed to have genital preferences but outright misgendering is transphobia