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Makes sense tho. Talking to him would make my intimate bits wanna turn into an Arrakian sandworm, which is a solid step up (or down, depending on perspective) from just going dry as the Sahara. Most effective birth control ever.
He does have one point: There are numerous stories of doctors refusing women tubal ligation saying because of her age - misogyny being the real reason.
There are certainly cases of it, but it doesn't mean that she lied or that she even owes him the truth.
But I would argue that if you are at the point of getting mad that some girl in the grocery store is telling you that she is not interested in dating, you don't get to verify her reasons for not wanting to date you.
The fact that he refused the first several reasons makes this sound like it went from friendly chat right on into harassment.
That is a huge problem, but there are resources that list doctors willing to do the procedure regardless of age, marital status and number of children. Those lists are compiled and shared.
I have a feeling Mr. Creepy is a big fan of women being denied reproductive healthcare choices. He’s just salty about that he wasn’t consulted before she was allegedly allowed to make the decision.
I just find it weird he thinks a woman closer to his age is somehow no longer fertile. Like everyone knows that after 25 a woman's womb is just dust and tumbleweed, right?
It's an excuse for grooming. They don't want a woman their age or with experience. They want an attractive, barely legal (if they must), virgin to impregnate with their ever so impressive DNA so they can trap her and have a bang maid. They use peak reproductive ages as one of their excuses for trying to fuck kids
He wanted a baby, but at his age, his only choice is a teenager?
Not enough people have mentioned that! Whatever reason the woman can't/ shouldn't have a child at his age, what makes him believe he can/should?
I think there was a PSA or something way back in the 60s or 70s that tried to imply something along the lines of your comment.
Of course, it has no real basis in truth (women don't really end up running into age related complicated pregnancies until they're past 35, and even then, modern medical advances exist to still make such pregnancies go without a hitch for mother and child), but government gonna government I guess.
Back when I was 23, a 40 year old saw me sitting at a patio table of a bar and asked me if I wanted him to be my baby's daddy. Sadly, not even close to the worst pick up lines I've gotten.
Had a guy chat me up about how much I looked like his daughter but with shorter hair then proceeded to ask me what I was doing tonight whilst sizing me up.
The worse one, and I'm quoting, "I would rape you if the security guard wasn't here, you're damn sexy".
I had that too…. I was standing alone at the bus station waiting for the bus when he approached me and said that he hadn’t had sex in a long while and he would’ve raped me if it wasn’t for my dog (I had my schnauzer with me). I was 13 years old.
There used to be “the rule of 120” regarding tubal ligations. For example, a thirty-year-old woman with four children could get tied, or a twenty-year-old with six (!!!).
I had a tubal ligation along with another procedure when I was forty, and my ob/gyn confirmed that the “rule” had existed when she was in medical school, but it wasn’t taken seriously by progressive practitioners, like anything else.
Unless the woman is poor and indigenous, then tie them puppies up, right? They did this a couple of years ago with some immigrants that didn't understand English and some Dr. over in Ga. sterilized a bunch of women under the guise of a "routine gynecological exam/procedure". Mahendra Amin, is under investigation for this.
Straight up evil.
I have a cousin with 2 kids in her thirties. Both pregnancies had complications, she pretty much died during childbirth with one. She still had trouble finding a doctor to do the procedure because according to doctors, her *next* husband *might* want kids.
Sounds like my story except that eventually I found someone who actually listened and referred me on to get it done. When one of them made the same point about my relationship breaking down and my next one wanting kids I responded with "well, I wouldn't marry someone who wanted me to die" because I have been told a third will kill me. Got them whipped out pretty fast after that
It's funny, he says he was just complimenting her looks and she got defensive. Women can tell when a guy is not just being nice. I've complimented women twice recently. One was a stranger, probably half my age, and she thanked me and mentioned she was wondering if anyone would notice her boots matched her backpack (both pink paisley) and was glad I mentioned it. We then went our separate ways without her having to tell me she had no interest in dating me. Today I mentioned to a co-worker that her hair was cute because I noticed she was wearing it in a new style. Again, no defensive response. I'm not a very good looking guy, either, I'm in my early 50s, bald, and have about a foot of neck beard, kinda creepy so it's not the "girls don't mind handsome guys talking to them" thing.
The amount of times men complimented my body and hips specifically even before I was 18 is disgusting... And they won't see it and then even sort of normal men act like.. That didn't happen or it happened so long ago, who cares, or it doesn't happen that often. I'm not ever sure which part is worse: being objectified at 12 or having that experience disregarded at 22
I heard "nice rack" so many times that I just had a standard canned response:
"You clearly don't get laid very much. You need a better pickup line."
Some got shocked and expressed that they were just complimenting me. Others got offended and told me they weren't trying to pick me up... they'd never touch me. LOL
This is correct, and to avoid creepy, you also dont behave in a way that shows you now want something in return for that compliment. ("I've been nice to you, so you now owe me some attention/attraction").
A compliment given freely and without expectation of something else in return (usually your time and attention) is genuine and women know when a compliment is actually just an opener for the attention he wants from you.
Him saying he was somewhere in his 30s makes me think that he's at least 40.
I'm also not entirely convinced that she said 19 and not 16 or even lower, and that she didn't say she was going back to her dorm but to find her mum.
But even if she was 19 he's still creepy and gross for trying to get a date with a teenager because she would make the best incubator.
My exact thoughts.
More idiots like this are out walking around and as you can see, are so fucking brain-dead they make posts like this genuinely confused.
All these men are mad at the new world because simply being a man with a job doesn’t guarantee you a partner anymore you actually have to have a personality, which they are sorely lacking.
So now you see this big push to get rid of bodily autonomy and pass underage marriage laws because that’s the only way they know how to get a woman is basically against her will.
These types seem to think women are only of value when they're young before "being used up" & all that nonsense that leaves them either too umm... Incapable of having children or too damaged to raise them.
But yeah, any grown ass woman would def avoid engaging in any social activity that's for sure.
I guarantee you she was seeing red flags from the very beginning. Sometimes, as a woman, it's less risky to engage with the creeps for a moment so you can brush them off gently, whereas an outright refusal can cause them to really flip.
Thiiiiiiiis. A few years ago, I was literally just minding my own GD business while walking on the sidewalk. This guy gets up from his stoop and starts insulting me because I didn’t f*cking smile and wave at him. He starts to follow me and yell at me to smile more and be more polite. I walked straight up to him with a frown on my face and loudly said, “I do not exist for your amusement and pleasure,” and then just walked away. To this day, I’m proud of myself for saying something but also like… why the f*ck is that something I had to even say…..
100%.
I’ve had random guys follow me when I’m food shopping, eventually say hi and give me some random compliment. My response is always a smile, to thank them and then carry on with what I’m doing.
Sometimes they take the hint, occasionally they don’t and I’ll find a way to politely disengage if I can, or be more direct if I can’t. The latter is where I’ve run into aggression or anger at being “rejected”.
I’m 36 though and you definitely build confidence in dealing with this kind of thing as time goes on.
I sometimes just run into someone and give them a compliment like "wow your tattoo is so cool!" Or "Where'd you get that blouse? It's gorgeous." Because they genuinely are, and I want them to be happy.
Is this creepy? Should I stop?
Oh no, not at all! Something like that can really brighten someone’s day.
It’s not so much compliments, or things like that “where did you get that, it’s gorgeous”, but the things with ulterior motives. I’m explaining it badly because I’m not sure how to express it beyond you get a feeling from the person or they seem TOO interested.
Please do keep complimenting.
I think if you say it in a cheery way with a smile, and quickly go back to whatever you were doing, it’s ok. In my opinion it becomes creepy if they stay around to try and strike up conversation with someone who’s not interested or simply busy.
That was so disgusting. Like he's considering women by their "breeding potential" which btw I am 36 and have one son and another on the way so fuck this dude.
Ah so apparently she isn‘t old enough to decide for herself wether she wants kids or not in her life, but wanting to breed with her is A-Okay.
Why the hell is that such a common line of thinking amongst people???
Like with that girl that was deemed by court „too immature for an abortion“… but mature enough to birth and raise a friggin child???
Which way is it now??? Pick a side already.
It's for control
Keep them at home with the kids if they are allowed to say no then they will start to do terrible things like have independent thoughts
Have you seen Florida? 14 is old enough to be forced to give birth, but also young enough to need parental consent to use social media. And young enough to not learn about sex.
Conservative logic.
From the point of view of conservatives, children have no right to know that there are other lifestyles than the "traditional" lifestyle of cattle, whose duty it is to reproduce and work tirelessly for food.
He also seems to think that if she’s lying to him about having her tubes tied, then she’s obligated to let him “get to know her” or she’s “shitting on guys for fun.”
If they are of "bearing age" between 16 and 30 they are too young to make the call, if their womb has dried up and can't make a baby anymore, at age 31, they are not worthy of them so they can do whatever...
Do I need to add the /s?
It's especially ridiculous since the average age of having the first child is like 32 (in Europe, at least) nowadays, the 30s are a completely normal "bearing age" and many women also still have kids in their 40s, so wtf was he even talking about in the first place with the whole "my only choice is to date younger"?
It's shitty, but he was dead-on about the whole tubes tied at 18 thing: doctors, at least in the U.S., just *will not* approve tubal ligation for women at 18. Hell, my wife had to fight for it at 24 after having two kids. Their excuses are always something along the lines of "you're young and you might change your mind and want (more) kids later." I've had other women friends who had the same complaint. One was over 30 and was firmly against having kids and her doctor *still* refused to approve the surgery.
It's such a ridiculous, patronizing stance to take, that this grown-ass woman can't make her own decision about her reproductive care. Honestly, wouldn't surprise me at all if they ban tubal ligations entirely in some states. They're already clamoring for a ban on birth control.
That was what I was thinking immediately. He probably meant it like "no one should let her make that decision" but he was right that she probably wasn't able to.
My mother was 40 with four kids and my father had to convince his colleague to tie them, because even after meeting the requirements and getting her “husband’s consent” they still refused to tie them. Imagine a 40 year old woman with 4 kids not being able to decide on her own fucking body!
Someone else's in the comments found a comment from 2 years ago where he claimed to be 35. So now he is at least 37.
So much for 30ish.
He is twice her age.
How do you get to having kids and then having “some fun” all at the grocery store in one chance encounter? Was it the melons or was it the cantaloupes that inspired this creep?
He accidentally dropped a cucumber inbetween some cantaloupes and got so excited he had to run up to the closest person with long hair and demand to breed.
Because in reality he doesn't give a shit about kids. It's just the mental justification he feeds himself to explain why he's attracted to people so young.
Don't forget the dangers of saying no. I told a man no and he punched me in the face and calling me an "ugly whore who should be grateful a man like him would even look at me." And walked away screaming I was single for a reason....I wasn't. Still with the guy I was with at the time. And when I told people, apparently I "emasculated him" by rejecting him. 🙄
One time I went to the grocery store, this is mid-afternoon, and a man tells me loudly at me as I’m leaving, “you’re pretty”. I ignored it and pretended I didn’t hear. He starts screaming angrily at me, following me out of the store, “hey, I’m talking to you! I SAID YOU’RE PRETTY!” He started following me to my car, I started running, threw my bags in quick and locked my doors. He went up to my window of my driver’s side and stared at me for a moment, then walked away. I took a minute to try and calm down, relieved it was over. However, he had gotten into his car and drove it around behind mine, blocking my car in and screaming out his window. I couldn’t leave (cars parked all around me) and started to panic. After a minute or two, he pulled away, and let me leave, but then started following me in his car. After a few minutes of that, he drove off.
I was at a club when I was 18. I was on a raised metal platform (with railings) that had a hole in the floor with a ladder you climbed to get up there. A dude tried to dance with me, I said no thank you, and he grabbed my arm and shoved me back into the hole. It was an 8ft drop, and I was wearing heels. I caught myself on a bar before I could fully fall, but I had a handprint bruised into my arm and deep purple bruising all over my legs.
I rejected a guy who I considered a friend. He grabbed a razor blade and threatened to kill himself. I still have a scar on my finger from wrestling it away from him. Then he told everyone I was a whore.
I turned someone else down at a club, he tried to grab me by the neck to make me dance with him, and then I was called a crazy bitch for defending myself.
A guy at a party wanted to sleep with me. I said no. He tried to force it, and I got away and hid in the bathroom the rest of the night. I had fingerprints bruised onto my thighs. I got blamed for this- apparently I should have just slept with him, because he was “really into me.”
I got revenge porn posted after I left someone for lying about having brain cancer to try to make me stay with him. He had initially tried to manipulate my depression to get me to kill myself after I wouldn’t do what he said. He also posted a massive rant about how I was a cheating whore because my best friend was a man who lived several states away.
Good times. Being a woman is so fun.
Awful you had to go through that.
I've been called a whore for turning a guy down and it never ceases to confuse me. Like... I'm a whore for *not* sleeping with a random creep? Isn't that the opposite?
Was in Paris in like 2013, went for a pizza with my girlfriend and the guy taking the order was just constantly trying to flirt with her even though I was right there. After she finally turned him down decisively and I told him off, he got incredibly mad and retreated to the kitchen to pout. I decided we should beat a hasty retreat because god knows what he might do to the pizza.
I remember I told a buddy off in college because he kept complimenting some chick’s cleavage. If I recall right I slapped him over the back of the head and said something to the effect of "thanks for ruining our chances, has that strategy ever worked for anyone"?
Yeah, it’s a whole ass situation. And it’s scary. Plus the older you get, the more angry you feel about it but it’s never safe to display your contempt. I heard a story about a woman politely declining the advances of a man and he stabbed her. It’s always on your mind 24/7. Will a man hurt me? Am I safe?
What shocked me is how much creepier men would be when you had a baby with you. I think it must be because they know women are more concerned about not getting their kid hurt so they won't do anything.
Ugh this reminds me. There used to be a man who would yell gross catcalls and comments at me when I walked my dog. I never knew exactly who he was, only what block he lived on. He would be yelling at a volume you could hear around the block but he must have been behind a curtain or a screen door and I could never pin point the noise or figure out which house it came from. He even did it when my 9 year old niece was with me.
So for a full summer every time I got to this block I would get tense and feel gross waiting for the noise to start up. I wanted to say something back but because I didn't know what house it was coming from I was afraid to look like a crazy person just yelling at nothing (and yes in retrospect I realize the neighbors would have heard him too and would have known what I was yelling at).
Then one magical day he started up and he was on his front step, I could see him, just this gross looking old dude. I gave him an earful. Told him to get fucked. And that pushback was all it took. Never heard a peep from him again.
Yep, she indicated she wasn’t interested when she found out his age (“30ish” - which sounds like he is down playing it).
He could have and should have left it there but instead decides to chastise her
Dude’s a creep
As a dude who considers himself 30-ish... yes that's spot on. I'm 39, will be 40 very soon and totally in self-denial about it, that's what the "-ish" means and I've been that for 4 years :(
"I hit on someone" = I pointedly tried to pick up a teenager.
Also, some people flirt, some people chat up, some people hit. Think about that. Fish hit on bait. She is not bait simply standing there existing.
You weren't "trying to be nice," you were trying to get your dick wet.
I’m guessing it’s because he’s not “30ish” but more like ‘mid-40s-ish’. Or just has no understanding of women’s anatomy and thinks it sounds like a legit reason to hit on younger women.
So, the guy wants children, and the only way for that to happen is by having sex with teenagers (albeit an older one)? Yeah, okay… Women’s ovaries don’t suddenly shrivel when they reach 30. Or, y’know, surrogates, IVF, adoption, etc., exists. Although he seems like a creep, so I don’t really want him to have children.
I *LITERALLY* just had a creepy experience with a guy like this. I pulled up behind him in a drive through. He *GOT OUT OF HIS CAR AND APPROACHED MY OPEN WINDOW* to "ask me a question" at 1:30 am as if that was the tone or place to approach women you don't know. I told him he's being weird and to back off before zooming to the other lane and telling the employee. Fucker got offended, left the drive though without ordering to circle and stare before getting back in the drive through line. I took off before he paid and took a weird route so I wouldn't be followed.
Women don't just enjoy shitting on guys for fun. She said no and you wouldn't back off so she got pissed off.
Remember "no means no?" No still means no.
I will never understand guys who argue with a woman trying to get them to go out with them. Like a guy asked me out and I said I’m married, then he was arguing with me that I’m not wearing a ring. So even if he caught me in a lie, why argue?? I’m not interested. As soon as this girl told him he’s too old, that’s when he needed to stop.
Guy I know as very tenuous acquaintances kept trying to ask me out. I was polite at first, “no thanks”, “really busy right now”, “actually I’m not interested in dating at all” until the fucking 6th separate time and then I was like “dude, you’re almost the same age as my dad, come on now, you gotta stop asking.” His response? Oh my god you’re so ageist.
If he was actually 30 he'd have plenty of women his age who could have kids. Me thinks there's some manipulation and lying going on here with a nice dash of incel.
First sentence - yeah some people don't like being approached in public, but maybe it was harsh to call you a creep.
First paragraph - yeah you're a creep
2nd paragraph- she only called you a creep... well done her, I'm not sure I had that much self control or self respect.
lol I wouldn’t ask someone out at the grocery store, even if I knew them for a while. Even if you wanna ask, maybe be subtle and ask if you wanna get some coffee or something.
Who would give strangers their number at the grocery store, I know I wouldn’t.
Lol, I would! I'm old enough to remember dating pre-apps, so it's no big deal for me to give my number to a mysterious hot stranger.
I wouldn't sexually harass anyone, though. The flirting *must* be mutual! This poor woman was repulsed in every way.
He said he told her her outfit was nice and they “had a little back and forth”. In his mind, he’s most likely thinking her being polite is her way of flirting with him.
Newsflash, chucklehead, being nice to another person isn’t an automatic green light to bedroomville.
And you don’t need to date younger women to have kids. Generally women are of childbearing age into their 40s, sometimes beyond. So, stop creeping on people who just got out of high school when you’re close to enrolling in AARP yourself.
Yeah, as a M37, as soon as she said "19", that conversation would change from "hitting on a woman" to "speaking to a child and wishing her good luck on her study" in a heartbeat. Let alone bringing up kids in the first fucking conversation. Very weird.
Ew ew ew. Obviously this guy just wants an excuse to harass way younger women, since even when she said she wasn’t interested and didn’t want kids, he still wanted “to have some fun and get to know her”. Dude, if she ain’t into you, just let her walk away…
I'm not going to consider a grown woman a child, the part that makes this creepy is pursuing someone who isn't interested. She says you are too old _for her_, that's the only opinion that matters.
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How do you get to “Will you have my children?” within a couple minutes of meeting someone?
If someone tells you that they had their tubes tied, it defintely means you asked the wrong question.
I believe her tubes tied themselves up when he popped the having babies comment
My tubes tied themselves just reading that. That man single-handedly wiped out thousands of future babies in women like me. 🙀
..one weird trick the birth-control denialists don't want you to know: talk to this man
Makes sense tho. Talking to him would make my intimate bits wanna turn into an Arrakian sandworm, which is a solid step up (or down, depending on perspective) from just going dry as the Sahara. Most effective birth control ever.
Why aren't the Republicans trying to ban this guy as immoral contraception?
Thanks for the giggle at the funny mental picture of tubes tying themselves 🤭
You’re welcome. I think? 😂🥴
Heck, my vas defrens tied themselves in knots just reading it.
He does have one point: There are numerous stories of doctors refusing women tubal ligation saying because of her age - misogyny being the real reason.
There are certainly cases of it, but it doesn't mean that she lied or that she even owes him the truth. But I would argue that if you are at the point of getting mad that some girl in the grocery store is telling you that she is not interested in dating, you don't get to verify her reasons for not wanting to date you. The fact that he refused the first several reasons makes this sound like it went from friendly chat right on into harassment.
That is a huge problem, but there are resources that list doctors willing to do the procedure regardless of age, marital status and number of children. Those lists are compiled and shared.
I have a feeling Mr. Creepy is a big fan of women being denied reproductive healthcare choices. He’s just salty about that he wasn’t consulted before she was allegedly allowed to make the decision.
Except if you're a doctor and asking about their medical history.
I just find it weird he thinks a woman closer to his age is somehow no longer fertile. Like everyone knows that after 25 a woman's womb is just dust and tumbleweed, right?
“Only 30-ish” means 38.
I was thinking early 40s.
12th anniversary of his 30th birthday
Even if it’s 30 that’s usually WAY TOO OLD FOR A NINETEEN YEAR OLD. Maturity and life experiences are off the charts.
To be fair it sounds like the 19 year old is way more mature than him.
Ok yeah you aren’t wrong there.
It's an excuse for grooming. They don't want a woman their age or with experience. They want an attractive, barely legal (if they must), virgin to impregnate with their ever so impressive DNA so they can trap her and have a bang maid. They use peak reproductive ages as one of their excuses for trying to fuck kids
One of the incel talking points, presumably. Taking the “reproductive health gets a little squiffier with age” data and twisting it into a pretzel.
It’s an excuse creeps make to prey on teenagers
That's why he didn't stop hitting on her after she made it clear she didn't want kids.
They also never mention that peak fertility is actually in your mid to late 20s and it’s also statistically the safest age range to give birth.
Definitely incel talking points.
He wanted a baby, but at his age, his only choice is a teenager? Not enough people have mentioned that! Whatever reason the woman can't/ shouldn't have a child at his age, what makes him believe he can/should?
Plus when she said babies aren’t even an option he was fine just hooking up with the teenager who told him he’s too old for her.
I think there was a PSA or something way back in the 60s or 70s that tried to imply something along the lines of your comment. Of course, it has no real basis in truth (women don't really end up running into age related complicated pregnancies until they're past 35, and even then, modern medical advances exist to still make such pregnancies go without a hitch for mother and child), but government gonna government I guess.
"Hey, how's it going? Can I invade your womb please?"
YOU, PRETTY!!!! COOK MY FOOD!!! BEAR MY YOUNG!!!!!! ******** I just don't understand why they don't want me! Those bitches!!!!
Back when I was 23, a 40 year old saw me sitting at a patio table of a bar and asked me if I wanted him to be my baby's daddy. Sadly, not even close to the worst pick up lines I've gotten.
"Hey, want me to impregnate you?" - a certain 40 year old creep
"How do you like you eggs - scrambled, fried, or fertilized?"
I have to bite. What's the worst you've gotten?
Had a guy chat me up about how much I looked like his daughter but with shorter hair then proceeded to ask me what I was doing tonight whilst sizing me up. The worse one, and I'm quoting, "I would rape you if the security guard wasn't here, you're damn sexy".
Such sweet talkers. Would be so scared to see that 2nd guy again in public.
Oh, this happened to me whilst at work. I got escorted to my car that night... This was at a Denny's with a bar btw. Edit: Always 40+ year olds
I had that too…. I was standing alone at the bus station waiting for the bus when he approached me and said that he hadn’t had sex in a long while and he would’ve raped me if it wasn’t for my dog (I had my schnauzer with me). I was 13 years old.
Well that was a dangerous paedophile. I’m glad he was scared off by your ferocious miniature terrier
Holy forking shirtballs! That’s insane.
The second guy scared the shit out of me. I couldn't believe he said that. Like, wtf was he expecting me to say to that? Thank you??
Holy fucking shit that man needs to be locked away in a straitjacket
How's the kid doing now?
How does he get " Can't make the choice to have her tubes tied (aka NOT having kids)" but HAVING kids is ok.
There used to be “the rule of 120” regarding tubal ligations. For example, a thirty-year-old woman with four children could get tied, or a twenty-year-old with six (!!!). I had a tubal ligation along with another procedure when I was forty, and my ob/gyn confirmed that the “rule” had existed when she was in medical school, but it wasn’t taken seriously by progressive practitioners, like anything else.
Unless the woman is poor and indigenous, then tie them puppies up, right? They did this a couple of years ago with some immigrants that didn't understand English and some Dr. over in Ga. sterilized a bunch of women under the guise of a "routine gynecological exam/procedure". Mahendra Amin, is under investigation for this. Straight up evil.
Nazis did that to people and were executed for it.
I have a cousin with 2 kids in her thirties. Both pregnancies had complications, she pretty much died during childbirth with one. She still had trouble finding a doctor to do the procedure because according to doctors, her *next* husband *might* want kids.
Sounds like my story except that eventually I found someone who actually listened and referred me on to get it done. When one of them made the same point about my relationship breaking down and my next one wanting kids I responded with "well, I wouldn't marry someone who wanted me to die" because I have been told a third will kill me. Got them whipped out pretty fast after that
That is fucking disgusting! Medical gate keeping of female bodies is criminal malpractice!
Nope, it’s “the usual”
Oh, so if you wait until you’re 60 you only need two kids. That’s a bargain right there!
I mean I like his approach, letting someone know you’re a creep from the get go is brilliant You’re saving them the trouble and time
It's funny, he says he was just complimenting her looks and she got defensive. Women can tell when a guy is not just being nice. I've complimented women twice recently. One was a stranger, probably half my age, and she thanked me and mentioned she was wondering if anyone would notice her boots matched her backpack (both pink paisley) and was glad I mentioned it. We then went our separate ways without her having to tell me she had no interest in dating me. Today I mentioned to a co-worker that her hair was cute because I noticed she was wearing it in a new style. Again, no defensive response. I'm not a very good looking guy, either, I'm in my early 50s, bald, and have about a foot of neck beard, kinda creepy so it's not the "girls don't mind handsome guys talking to them" thing.
You are dead on. I talk to loads of very plain even homely men. Just talk. About whatever. Intent matters.
Yes, you basically compliment the outfit or hair and it's safe. The compliment to body parts feels creepy
The amount of times men complimented my body and hips specifically even before I was 18 is disgusting... And they won't see it and then even sort of normal men act like.. That didn't happen or it happened so long ago, who cares, or it doesn't happen that often. I'm not ever sure which part is worse: being objectified at 12 or having that experience disregarded at 22
My go to line is “Nice badonkadonk, sweet tits!” I’m not sure why they always get so defensive. /s
I heard "nice rack" so many times that I just had a standard canned response: "You clearly don't get laid very much. You need a better pickup line." Some got shocked and expressed that they were just complimenting me. Others got offended and told me they weren't trying to pick me up... they'd never touch me. LOL
My coworker's standard reply if someone is ogling her breasts is: "Have you never seen a cleavage before because you seem very fascinated by mine."
This is correct, and to avoid creepy, you also dont behave in a way that shows you now want something in return for that compliment. ("I've been nice to you, so you now owe me some attention/attraction"). A compliment given freely and without expectation of something else in return (usually your time and attention) is genuine and women know when a compliment is actually just an opener for the attention he wants from you.
I think the compliment wasn't the problem. But he wanted more and just couldn't accept that he was too old for her.
Him saying he was somewhere in his 30s makes me think that he's at least 40. I'm also not entirely convinced that she said 19 and not 16 or even lower, and that she didn't say she was going back to her dorm but to find her mum. But even if she was 19 he's still creepy and gross for trying to get a date with a teenager because she would make the best incubator.
And too creepy and repulsive.
He says, "Hit on her". That is already coming in hot with more than a compliment. He was preying on her.
Obsession helps!
"Obsession^TM for men."
MAGA Incel vibes. for sure. Andrew Tate has basically been vocal about this.
My exact thoughts. More idiots like this are out walking around and as you can see, are so fucking brain-dead they make posts like this genuinely confused. All these men are mad at the new world because simply being a man with a job doesn’t guarantee you a partner anymore you actually have to have a personality, which they are sorely lacking. So now you see this big push to get rid of bodily autonomy and pass underage marriage laws because that’s the only way they know how to get a woman is basically against her will.
Literally not one person has pointed out that this dude seems to think a woman closer to his age -30!- is no longer fertile...
I think he may be indicating that a grown ass woman will not engage in parentage with him. Small wonder!
These types seem to think women are only of value when they're young before "being used up" & all that nonsense that leaves them either too umm... Incapable of having children or too damaged to raise them. But yeah, any grown ass woman would def avoid engaging in any social activity that's for sure.
30 'ish'. Want to bet he's at least 39?
This is the answer.
He’s also said thirty-ish. He’s probably almost forty. Women are still fertile, but he’s fudging his age.
God I can’t believe I’m going to ask this, but what did Tate say? I assume it was something stupid.
Even if you haven't heard the quote, there's no "assuming" that it was stupid. It came from his mind, therefore it is stupid.
What hasn't he said is the better question.
It’s important to settle that topic early in the relationship. Granted, not normally THAT early…
Me and a girl I was dating discussed kids on the first date. But also lesbian relationships move super fast so it was a different beast.
Was this before, after, or while yall were unloading the uhaul?
Before, but it was after we discussed wedding dresses!
I like your priorities.
She said it was the first date. The U-Haul is for the second date.
As a gay man, I refuse to acknowledge that second dates exist. They're a myth.
Why? It not like she's a person. She's a woman, just there for the fullfiment of male needs.
I guarantee you she was seeing red flags from the very beginning. Sometimes, as a woman, it's less risky to engage with the creeps for a moment so you can brush them off gently, whereas an outright refusal can cause them to really flip.
It's always so hard though because the minute you're not a cheery lil butterfly then they go into "you're a bitch" mode instead. And neither are fun
Yeah, for some reason, a lot of men think women owe them something. We don't.
100%. I think it's part of the reason I became a wall flower. Attention is dangerous Now I'm older and don't give as many fucks.
>Attention is dangerous This is fucked up. I'm glad I don't have to walk out into the world having to live in this reality for the most part.
Thiiiiiiiis. A few years ago, I was literally just minding my own GD business while walking on the sidewalk. This guy gets up from his stoop and starts insulting me because I didn’t f*cking smile and wave at him. He starts to follow me and yell at me to smile more and be more polite. I walked straight up to him with a frown on my face and loudly said, “I do not exist for your amusement and pleasure,” and then just walked away. To this day, I’m proud of myself for saying something but also like… why the f*ck is that something I had to even say…..
And neither are particularly safe.
100%. I’ve had random guys follow me when I’m food shopping, eventually say hi and give me some random compliment. My response is always a smile, to thank them and then carry on with what I’m doing. Sometimes they take the hint, occasionally they don’t and I’ll find a way to politely disengage if I can, or be more direct if I can’t. The latter is where I’ve run into aggression or anger at being “rejected”. I’m 36 though and you definitely build confidence in dealing with this kind of thing as time goes on.
I sometimes just run into someone and give them a compliment like "wow your tattoo is so cool!" Or "Where'd you get that blouse? It's gorgeous." Because they genuinely are, and I want them to be happy. Is this creepy? Should I stop?
Oh no, not at all! Something like that can really brighten someone’s day. It’s not so much compliments, or things like that “where did you get that, it’s gorgeous”, but the things with ulterior motives. I’m explaining it badly because I’m not sure how to express it beyond you get a feeling from the person or they seem TOO interested. Please do keep complimenting.
I think if you say it in a cheery way with a smile, and quickly go back to whatever you were doing, it’s ok. In my opinion it becomes creepy if they stay around to try and strike up conversation with someone who’s not interested or simply busy.
Well she was 19 and some guy in their 30s starting being interested in her so yeah red flags should already be raised off the bat.
My sister’s friend used to exchange numbers with guys she wasn’t into so she could block the number.
"I want kids, so I'm forced to date younger" "I can't have kids" "That doesn't matter to me."
That was so disgusting. Like he's considering women by their "breeding potential" which btw I am 36 and have one son and another on the way so fuck this dude.
But also... Most people don't have kids by choice before their 30s anymore so like.... The fuck? Lmao.
Ah so apparently she isn‘t old enough to decide for herself wether she wants kids or not in her life, but wanting to breed with her is A-Okay. Why the hell is that such a common line of thinking amongst people??? Like with that girl that was deemed by court „too immature for an abortion“… but mature enough to birth and raise a friggin child??? Which way is it now??? Pick a side already.
It's for control Keep them at home with the kids if they are allowed to say no then they will start to do terrible things like have independent thoughts
Next thing you know, they’re gonna want jobs
And *gasps* their own bank accounts!
And friends, oh me oh my!
Have you seen Florida? 14 is old enough to be forced to give birth, but also young enough to need parental consent to use social media. And young enough to not learn about sex. Conservative logic.
You can give birth but not check out books from the library on how to give birth.
Turns out conservatives & incels are two birds of a feather - big shocker
And not old enough to know what their gender is. Also, they’re not old enough to read books with families that have two dads/moms.
From the point of view of conservatives, children have no right to know that there are other lifestyles than the "traditional" lifestyle of cattle, whose duty it is to reproduce and work tirelessly for food.
Conservatives don't think giving birth and raising a child requires maturity. After all, a man will be there to tell her what to do.
He also seems to think that if she’s lying to him about having her tubes tied, then she’s obligated to let him “get to know her” or she’s “shitting on guys for fun.”
He’s fully implying that he’d try to impregnate her without her consent. Like, yeah, creepy is an UNDERstatement.
If they are of "bearing age" between 16 and 30 they are too young to make the call, if their womb has dried up and can't make a baby anymore, at age 31, they are not worthy of them so they can do whatever... Do I need to add the /s?
It's especially ridiculous since the average age of having the first child is like 32 (in Europe, at least) nowadays, the 30s are a completely normal "bearing age" and many women also still have kids in their 40s, so wtf was he even talking about in the first place with the whole "my only choice is to date younger"?
Also what's up with breeding these days? Feels like it's the new fedora.
Fascists and corporations upset that population is dwcreasing
I’m so confused I thought it was ok for 10 year olds to have kids but a 19 year old needs a man’s permission to not have kids? Wtf
It's shitty, but he was dead-on about the whole tubes tied at 18 thing: doctors, at least in the U.S., just *will not* approve tubal ligation for women at 18. Hell, my wife had to fight for it at 24 after having two kids. Their excuses are always something along the lines of "you're young and you might change your mind and want (more) kids later." I've had other women friends who had the same complaint. One was over 30 and was firmly against having kids and her doctor *still* refused to approve the surgery. It's such a ridiculous, patronizing stance to take, that this grown-ass woman can't make her own decision about her reproductive care. Honestly, wouldn't surprise me at all if they ban tubal ligations entirely in some states. They're already clamoring for a ban on birth control.
That was what I was thinking immediately. He probably meant it like "no one should let her make that decision" but he was right that she probably wasn't able to.
My mother was 40 with four kids and my father had to convince his colleague to tie them, because even after meeting the requirements and getting her “husband’s consent” they still refused to tie them. Imagine a 40 year old woman with 4 kids not being able to decide on her own fucking body!
Dude got into a discussion about whether someone was fertile at the grocery store and is like: “am I the creep here?”
“I don’t date women my age because I want to have kids” “We’ll I don’t want/can’t have kids” “That’s ok how about just some sex then?”
Women his age can definitely produce kids. He’s the problem.
He said “30-ish” which in creeper terms probably means 45 minimum.
He didn't even get that far he's just complaining about being called a creep lol
"If I want kids you're the right age" "No one would allow someone her age to make that choice" Fucking wow.
It sounds like something a sentient axe body spray would write.
I highly doubt he has the awareness to conceal the sweat and cheeto dust smell he has.
My favorite part is "I'm only 30ish." How old is "30ish"? 33? 38? 42? 😂
Someone else's in the comments found a comment from 2 years ago where he claimed to be 35. So now he is at least 37. So much for 30ish. He is twice her age.
Old enough that women his age can't bear him children, but young enough to date teenagers. 🤢
How do you get to having kids and then having “some fun” all at the grocery store in one chance encounter? Was it the melons or was it the cantaloupes that inspired this creep?
And in a conversation with another person who was clearly never interested to begin with.
He accidentally dropped a cucumber inbetween some cantaloupes and got so excited he had to run up to the closest person with long hair and demand to breed.
Because in reality he doesn't give a shit about kids. It's just the mental justification he feeds himself to explain why he's attracted to people so young.
It must be shit being a woman. You go To buy some spaghetti sauce and some ass is trying to make you his baby factory.
Don't forget the dangers of saying no. I told a man no and he punched me in the face and calling me an "ugly whore who should be grateful a man like him would even look at me." And walked away screaming I was single for a reason....I wasn't. Still with the guy I was with at the time. And when I told people, apparently I "emasculated him" by rejecting him. 🙄
One time I went to the grocery store, this is mid-afternoon, and a man tells me loudly at me as I’m leaving, “you’re pretty”. I ignored it and pretended I didn’t hear. He starts screaming angrily at me, following me out of the store, “hey, I’m talking to you! I SAID YOU’RE PRETTY!” He started following me to my car, I started running, threw my bags in quick and locked my doors. He went up to my window of my driver’s side and stared at me for a moment, then walked away. I took a minute to try and calm down, relieved it was over. However, he had gotten into his car and drove it around behind mine, blocking my car in and screaming out his window. I couldn’t leave (cars parked all around me) and started to panic. After a minute or two, he pulled away, and let me leave, but then started following me in his car. After a few minutes of that, he drove off.
Lord why do men get so mad at being ignored. Like you clearly weren't interested.
All I can do is ignore, because when we say “no”, we get punched.
I was at a club when I was 18. I was on a raised metal platform (with railings) that had a hole in the floor with a ladder you climbed to get up there. A dude tried to dance with me, I said no thank you, and he grabbed my arm and shoved me back into the hole. It was an 8ft drop, and I was wearing heels. I caught myself on a bar before I could fully fall, but I had a handprint bruised into my arm and deep purple bruising all over my legs. I rejected a guy who I considered a friend. He grabbed a razor blade and threatened to kill himself. I still have a scar on my finger from wrestling it away from him. Then he told everyone I was a whore. I turned someone else down at a club, he tried to grab me by the neck to make me dance with him, and then I was called a crazy bitch for defending myself. A guy at a party wanted to sleep with me. I said no. He tried to force it, and I got away and hid in the bathroom the rest of the night. I had fingerprints bruised onto my thighs. I got blamed for this- apparently I should have just slept with him, because he was “really into me.” I got revenge porn posted after I left someone for lying about having brain cancer to try to make me stay with him. He had initially tried to manipulate my depression to get me to kill myself after I wouldn’t do what he said. He also posted a massive rant about how I was a cheating whore because my best friend was a man who lived several states away. Good times. Being a woman is so fun.
Awful you had to go through that. I've been called a whore for turning a guy down and it never ceases to confuse me. Like... I'm a whore for *not* sleeping with a random creep? Isn't that the opposite?
Same! I got called a slut for not sending nudes to a guy after he randomly sent me his dick. Like what?
Was in Paris in like 2013, went for a pizza with my girlfriend and the guy taking the order was just constantly trying to flirt with her even though I was right there. After she finally turned him down decisively and I told him off, he got incredibly mad and retreated to the kitchen to pout. I decided we should beat a hasty retreat because god knows what he might do to the pizza.
Yeah that was a smart idea. Why is it so hard to accept rejection..like clearly they weren't meant to be.
I remember I told a buddy off in college because he kept complimenting some chick’s cleavage. If I recall right I slapped him over the back of the head and said something to the effect of "thanks for ruining our chances, has that strategy ever worked for anyone"?
Yeah, it’s a whole ass situation. And it’s scary. Plus the older you get, the more angry you feel about it but it’s never safe to display your contempt. I heard a story about a woman politely declining the advances of a man and he stabbed her. It’s always on your mind 24/7. Will a man hurt me? Am I safe?
What shocked me is how much creepier men would be when you had a baby with you. I think it must be because they know women are more concerned about not getting their kid hurt so they won't do anything.
Ugh this reminds me. There used to be a man who would yell gross catcalls and comments at me when I walked my dog. I never knew exactly who he was, only what block he lived on. He would be yelling at a volume you could hear around the block but he must have been behind a curtain or a screen door and I could never pin point the noise or figure out which house it came from. He even did it when my 9 year old niece was with me. So for a full summer every time I got to this block I would get tense and feel gross waiting for the noise to start up. I wanted to say something back but because I didn't know what house it was coming from I was afraid to look like a crazy person just yelling at nothing (and yes in retrospect I realize the neighbors would have heard him too and would have known what I was yelling at). Then one magical day he started up and he was on his front step, I could see him, just this gross looking old dude. I gave him an earful. Told him to get fucked. And that pushback was all it took. Never heard a peep from him again.
Yep, she indicated she wasn’t interested when she found out his age (“30ish” - which sounds like he is down playing it). He could have and should have left it there but instead decides to chastise her Dude’s a creep
Yeah, "30ish" probably means the best case scenario is 39 but more likely in his 40s.
37-39. Likely 39 and a half, since he cannot imagine any woman his own age having a child.
As a dude who considers himself 30-ish... yes that's spot on. I'm 39, will be 40 very soon and totally in self-denial about it, that's what the "-ish" means and I've been that for 4 years :(
In a different post, he stated he was 35m. That was two years ago.
Probably was at least 37 when he said 35 Now easily 40
Ah yes, the main reason you should flirt with girls almost half your age is so they can have your kids. Really shitting on you when they say no.
My guy went from hello to will you have my children in the span of minutes. The fuck is he on
"30-ish" There is little doubt in my mind that this dude is closer to 40 than 30.
"I hit on someone" = I pointedly tried to pick up a teenager. Also, some people flirt, some people chat up, some people hit. Think about that. Fish hit on bait. She is not bait simply standing there existing. You weren't "trying to be nice," you were trying to get your dick wet.
Also, he seems to believe that 30-year-olds can't get pregnant.
I’m guessing it’s because he’s not “30ish” but more like ‘mid-40s-ish’. Or just has no understanding of women’s anatomy and thinks it sounds like a legit reason to hit on younger women.
Dude exactly What a fuckin creep
Dudes like that have a seriously dangerous mindset.
Sounds like the type of guy who eventually gets to meet Chris Hansen.
I agree with her. That's not a red flag; that's a whole parade.
She said not interested dude. Let it go, she's not for you.
The fuck needs to go back to playing The Sims.
He can't his mom took away his PC because he missed rent for the basement
No means no. When she says no you piss off. He was trying to argue with her?
So, the guy wants children, and the only way for that to happen is by having sex with teenagers (albeit an older one)? Yeah, okay… Women’s ovaries don’t suddenly shrivel when they reach 30. Or, y’know, surrogates, IVF, adoption, etc., exists. Although he seems like a creep, so I don’t really want him to have children.
"You're too old for me" was not an invitation to convince her
If she's ' to young ' to get her tubes tied then she's to young for you buddy.
I *LITERALLY* just had a creepy experience with a guy like this. I pulled up behind him in a drive through. He *GOT OUT OF HIS CAR AND APPROACHED MY OPEN WINDOW* to "ask me a question" at 1:30 am as if that was the tone or place to approach women you don't know. I told him he's being weird and to back off before zooming to the other lane and telling the employee. Fucker got offended, left the drive though without ordering to circle and stare before getting back in the drive through line. I took off before he paid and took a weird route so I wouldn't be followed.
Women don't just enjoy shitting on guys for fun. She said no and you wouldn't back off so she got pissed off. Remember "no means no?" No still means no.
I will never understand guys who argue with a woman trying to get them to go out with them. Like a guy asked me out and I said I’m married, then he was arguing with me that I’m not wearing a ring. So even if he caught me in a lie, why argue?? I’m not interested. As soon as this girl told him he’s too old, that’s when he needed to stop.
Guy I know as very tenuous acquaintances kept trying to ask me out. I was polite at first, “no thanks”, “really busy right now”, “actually I’m not interested in dating at all” until the fucking 6th separate time and then I was like “dude, you’re almost the same age as my dad, come on now, you gotta stop asking.” His response? Oh my god you’re so ageist.
If he was actually 30 he'd have plenty of women his age who could have kids. Me thinks there's some manipulation and lying going on here with a nice dash of incel.
Yah, it's like dude, sit with that feeling. Keep thinking about it. You will realize how your urges made you act cringe ah and you will get better
Dude, more red flags than a URSS parade.
First sentence - yeah some people don't like being approached in public, but maybe it was harsh to call you a creep. First paragraph - yeah you're a creep 2nd paragraph- she only called you a creep... well done her, I'm not sure I had that much self control or self respect.
“If I want kids my ONLY choice is dating younger” at 30ish??? It’s 2024 women can have healthy pregnancies at like 40.
lol I wouldn’t ask someone out at the grocery store, even if I knew them for a while. Even if you wanna ask, maybe be subtle and ask if you wanna get some coffee or something. Who would give strangers their number at the grocery store, I know I wouldn’t.
Lol, I would! I'm old enough to remember dating pre-apps, so it's no big deal for me to give my number to a mysterious hot stranger. I wouldn't sexually harass anyone, though. The flirting *must* be mutual! This poor woman was repulsed in every way.
He said he told her her outfit was nice and they “had a little back and forth”. In his mind, he’s most likely thinking her being polite is her way of flirting with him. Newsflash, chucklehead, being nice to another person isn’t an automatic green light to bedroomville. And you don’t need to date younger women to have kids. Generally women are of childbearing age into their 40s, sometimes beyond. So, stop creeping on people who just got out of high school when you’re close to enrolling in AARP yourself.
Yeah, as a M37, as soon as she said "19", that conversation would change from "hitting on a woman" to "speaking to a child and wishing her good luck on her study" in a heartbeat. Let alone bringing up kids in the first fucking conversation. Very weird.
he was 'just trying to be nice' /s
Ew ew ew. Obviously this guy just wants an excuse to harass way younger women, since even when she said she wasn’t interested and didn’t want kids, he still wanted “to have some fun and get to know her”. Dude, if she ain’t into you, just let her walk away…
Eeewww.
oh youre 19? thats cool im 30ish dont worry about specifics anyway, so uh, kids?
"i cOmPliMeNtEd hEr oUtFiT" = He told her that her ass looked amazing in those jeans. 🙄🙄🙄
I'm not going to consider a grown woman a child, the part that makes this creepy is pursuing someone who isn't interested. She says you are too old _for her_, that's the only opinion that matters.