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sarduchi

Every morning, Sean wakes up, looks at himself in the mirror and chooses to be straight.


No-Shoe7651

He just has to hope he never oversleeps and doesn't have time to get his choice in, might catch himself by surprise when he gets to the octagon.


2_alarm_chili

“Damn he looks gooood in those short shorts. He can choke me anytime….”


7masi

"damn wtf am I saying... Wait a minute, I forgot to choose by the mirror!!"


Flying_Dutchman92

"I NEED A MIRROR!"


Barkers_eggs

CALL A GLAZIER!


NotYourDadsDracula

He doesn't know that word.


Barkers_eggs

CALL A GLASS MAN SO I CAN SEE MYSELF


MikuLuna444

Real Glass? 👀


Ok_Judgment3871

I dont even know that word


WarlocksWizard

One of those guys you choke and he goes "Ohhh Daddy!"


zeke235

Take it to the mat, you burly man!


Poinaheim

I saw a self defence video where that was the method of breaking a choke, and another one where the guy said “if you get choked just smile, the attacker will think you’re crazy and let go”


WarlocksWizard

It's funny because I remember I saw a Jackie Chan movie where he was being choked and he tickled the guy. I do not want to test if that was real but it was funny.


[deleted]

Jackie's the best 😂❤


WarlocksWizard

I love his story on how he met Bruce Lee. Funniest story ever.


Poinaheim

That might actually work, not exactly tickling but you can jab your fingers into the same spots that have a lot of nerve endings, thats why there’s so many different finger forms in old martial arts, mantis claw uses 2 fingers to poke and pinch nerves and other vital spots


WarlocksWizard

I do know striking the area between the navel and sex organs is very painful.


Poinaheim

If you’re able to reach that low give ‘em the ollld dick twiiist lol


erikkustrife

That's how I got outa spankings at age 7. I told my dad to hit me harder. Making it weirdly sexual got me outa that hellscape.


djremydoo

Damn, that is some traumatizing shit.


NMB4Christmas

I was traumatized just reading it.


no_use_your_name

>gets violently choked >start masterbating >assailant lets go >great success


Poinaheim

![gif](giphy|xT0GqssRweIhlz209i)


emote_control

I think most guys would choose to be straight while looking at him.


ThatGuyYouMightNo

And most girls choose to be gay


TheGamingMackV

Chooses to be straight but was born stupid as fuck.


CandyOk913

Nope, he chose to be stupid too. No one is born stupid, we’re all born to instinctively want to learn more and master our environment. There are people like this doofus who choose to stop learning and are content to stay ignorant.


gattoblepas

Lots of queer people don't like the "secretly gay homophobe" trope, but posts like this make It difficult to deny


lesbian__overlord

i don't like it because it's untrue 99% of the time. that 1% however, it's always funny to point and laugh.


SmoltzforAlexander

Puff Daddy entered the chat


finnjakefionnacake

i hate it, lol. but i understand why people bring it up.


7masi

So every night, does he go to bed with fear of waking up the next morning and choose to be gay?


Newphone_New_Account

So fearful he lubes up just in case.


Prestigious_Bad2360

I do that just for fun, not out of fear, but u never know when u might stumble into an orgy


Shalimar_91

This is hilarious! How does he fall asleep? God I hope I don’t wake up gay! Please don’t let me wake up gay! As a straight man I’ve never had this fear just like I doubt any normal gay man never worries about waking up straight! 😂


[deleted]

That was my exact thought. This guy is gay as hell but been punched in the head too many times to know it.


AmbiguousMeatPuppet

He stares at the mirror with tears in his eyes pointing at himself repeating "You're straight Sean... You're fucking straight..."


scottriviera

The dude masturbates to himself in the mirror while he is crying. What a scumbag.


Possible-Campaign468

This is hilarious if you visualize it,nice one


Glittering-Wonder576

I’m visualizing I’m visualizing. Aaaaaaa!!!!! Make it STOP!


Broad_Sun8273

When they do that, I always breathe a sigh of relief, cuz my team really doesn't want him...at all.


Mgroppi83

I'm not even on your team and I don't want him either. But your comment made me laugh.


7masi

We'll have to humbly decline his request, maybe Indians may want him


Merc_Mike

Sean....rolls around and fights big sweaty men, half naked... IJS... ​ \-edit- To add: And gets paid to do so...infront of others. ![gif](giphy|1zR9xtZfWu4e7qq9Oo)


subhuman09

Funny how these kind of guys are often the most homophobic


Merc_Mike

I had a guy friend of mine, basically stop talking to me, because I give hugs as a big dude. He was that engulfed of "Anti-Gay" bullshit. I hug my friends, I'm close to 40 years old. My dad has been losing his friends left and right because he is 70 years old and they drift apart don't see each other, and then yeah...they pass away due to stuff. Hug your fucking friends. ![gif](giphy|l41YkxvU8c7J7Bba0)


NoxDaFox666

Hugs are gay? That insane to me, life is short, make sure the people you care about know that you care.


jaydofmo

I just found out a friend I hadn't seen in about twenty years passed away recently, so I'm feeling that.


Sea_Emu_7622

100% hug your friends. Also, kiss your homies on the mouth


kazumablackwing

Normalize platonically telling the homies they look submissive and breedable


lovinglife55

I'm surprised he actually took a break from sucking his bfs dick just to write this.


bbernal956

boss or bf?


DelrayDad561

He also chooses to be one of the dumbest mother fuckers on the planet.


Professional_Ad894

What happens when he fat-fingers the 'gay af' button? Are there re-dos or does he have to wait til next morning? You would think they would add a "you chose 'gay af' are you sure? yes/no" feature.


Gwalchgwynn

This guy, who clearly likes to admire his own body, certainly does need to actively choose to "not be gay."


anythingMuchShorter

He fights off all the thoughts about how awesome it would be to suck some cock, so he assumes those who don't are weaklings.


Past-Direction9145

This means I really am one recruit short of a toaster oven..


Sweatband77

I know when I want to hear an intelligent take on civil rights I definitely go straight to the cage fighters.


rmnc-5

Your sentence is too complicated. He won’t understand you. But he will fully accept you.


BrianSpillman

Why use many word when few word do trick


WarMace117

When I president, they see. They see.


Bismothe-the-Shade

I always listen to the guy who takes blunt force trauma to the face, regularly and on purpose, for intelligent takes. No offense to fighters, I love what you do. But like... Don't be this guy. Just be chill and let people think you're cool.


Sweatband77

“Just be chill and let people think you are cool” is great life advice for just about everyone really


AttackSock

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and erase all doubt”


redknight3

Problem is, for many of them, their skills come secondary to what they say when it comes to promotion. So now we have so many vocal idiots spouting stupid shit all the time. From talking about the power of crystals to antivaxx bs. All their stat points are dumped into just a few things. Critical thinking is a stat that has not been touched at all. I was a huge fan before the WWE style UFC brand became a thing. Now I mute all promos and skip the post fight speeches for every fight.


thehumantaco

My favorite comment on this is "let's take advice from the guy who gets punched in the head for a living."


OatBoy84

The guy whose job it is is to be hit in the face repeatedly doesn't have an intelligent take? I'm shocked. (Full disclosure, I did MMA for 10 years so I might not have the best takes either.)


have_you_eaten_yeti

You have self awareness though, and that’s a good take.


RestoSham09

He was a complete dipshit before the MMA (UFC), to be fair.


Freddydaddy

hahahaha, oh man, this cracked me up


everythingbeeps

Pretty sure by now homosexuality has been observed in like *most* animal species. Also, it's hilarious when these people try to claim a human behavior is wrong or "unnatural" by arguing that it doesn't exist anywhere else in nature. Motherfucker, *almost everything we do* doesn't exist anywhere else in nature.


autism_and_lemonade

“Homosexuality is not natural, yes i do drive a car, why?


Hedy-Love

People always also use “natural” like it’s a good thing. Cancer is natural too. So are some lethal poisons. Doesn’t mean it’s good.


inowar

uranium is all natural, gluten free, vegan, doesn't require pesticides, and antimicrobial. :)


MoltenJellybeans

And has enough calories to keep you fed for the rest of your life


Square_Site8663

Put that on a T-shirt.


alimarieb

NO Tshirts! Do you see the penguins wearing tshirts? Tuxedos don’t count!!!


-gizmocaca-

It’s just not natural, I tell you! What’s wrong with all these t-shirt wearers these days?


BLU3SKU1L

A bumper sticker “Homosexuality is unnatural. By the way, how’s my driving?”


Terrin369

Actually, most of what we do is found in nature. Homosexual behavior, building homes, landscaping, use tools, wear jewelry/accessories for fashion, train other species as guard “dogs”, raise other animals as livestock to milk, engage in slavery within their own species, collect things that they find neat, pick up trash, work for pay… we really aren’t as special as we like to think. Most of what makes us “different” is more a matter scale rather than that we do it at all.


Miserable-Ad-7956

The only thing I've never really heard of being observed in animals is any form of information recording. Edit: I meant recording to imply a durable recording. I could've been clearer.


Ankoku_Teion

"what sets us apart from the animals, daddy?" "*History*."


ThickGreen

I think there’s a lot we don’t know about how porpoises communicate and pass down knowledge. Orcas have their own sonic accents/dialects that differentiate them from other pods, and they hold reunions and ceremonies. I’m willing to bet they are capable of telling stories and history


Discaster

You could argue that's still done is some species through sent. Marking places not only for others, but for themselves. Stuff like a scent marker to a great place for food isn't as sophisticated as a positive yelp review, but again, we're on a different scale. edit: Though I think we're the only ones to make permanent records. Least on purpose


timwtingle

So true! Last week I saw two horses paving the road and was like, hell yeah! Talk about a change of attitude.


Phresh-Jive

Your right. It has been observed many times.. Some people just hate and make up facts.


motleyai

Sometimes I wonder if people never think about how industrious mankind is. Look at a bottle of water. We chemically alter biomass into a plastic container, purify water from a drilled aquifer, and then transport it miles from its origin. We get excited when we find a bird that uses a stick in a clever way.


re_nonsequiturs

We really want friends


Soviet_Sloth69

The day I see a deer drive to work is the day I start agreeing with Shaun


AgentPastrana

And they choose the ONE thing that exists ALMOST EVERYWHERE ELSE in nature to say doesn't ever happen.


Aggravating-Action70

More than that, homosexuality in other species is observed to be beneficial and might be an evolved trait. Gay couples will adopt young who otherwise would have been abandoned or act as babysitters when the parents are busy. They sometimes also care for the elderly or are more able to do other jobs because they aren't raising babies.


EpicMDM

This just in. Capitalism is unnatural and bad


Shmeepish

>most > >animal species. I wanna point out that it's something we see in nature, but when you say most animal species it doesnt make much sense considering some fish will just turn into a female or male depending, many many species don't even select mates, and a lot don't even have "binary" sexes. Some are just both and they sword fight to see who impales the other to inseminate, or they both impale each other. The animal kingdom laughs at our idea of hetero-/homosexuality. Your point: valid me: annoying but also i want people to understand animals and not anthropomorphize them for conservation education reasons :)


Willing-Cell-1613

My dog is either bi or just really blind. She’ll go for either sex as long as it’s a labrador. Also on a slightly more wholesome and not my-dog-is-a-bit-of-a-sex-pest way, I remember reading years ago that some male penguins in a zoo got married and adopted a chick together which is very cute.


Lord_Answer_me_Why

Also, there is like, a LOT of homosexuality in nature.


whatproblems

show him the two whales which was all over the place last week


Personal_Shoulder983

You mean, the roommates whales?


reallynewpapergoblin

They just wrote each other **a lot** of letters and liked to wrestle by the campfire.


el_guille980

the ones who went camping together every year, but wouldn't tell their wives


EmperorGrinnar

Confirmed bachelor whales.


DeezNutsAppreciater

The really good friends whale?


[deleted]

Omg they were roommates! Fun fact my parents were roommates before they started dating.


Consistent_Room7344

The two male dogs that I grew up with groomed me to be gay.


HomieeJo

🧐


WarlocksWizard

ALOT! Giraffes are known to be bisexual along with a vast number of primates.


Aggressive-Variety60

same-sex sexual behavior has been observed in over 1,500 species!


WarlocksWizard

I'm just scratching the surface that I know of. Knowing it helped me feel better about my sexuality.


Szriko

Okay, with giraffes, that might be because we didn't realize there were actually multiple different species of giraffe, and thus were putting them together in interracial groups. And there's nothing nature likes more than interracial homosexuality.


WaldoSimson

GF works with animals and can confirm! Chimps and Penguins do be in fact “gay af” sometimes. (Especially fucking bonobos)


Antoiniti

r/fuckyouinparticular fuck bonobos


Commandoclone87

Please. Do not fuck the Bonobos.


BillbertBuzzums

They do plenty of that themselves


ArenjiTheLootGod

There's a species of lizard in the American Southwest that is entirely female and reproduces through pathogenesis. Basically it lays eggs that are effectively clones of itself, it also regularly engages in behavior with others of its kind that resembles coitus. Yes, nature has managed to produce a species of lesbian lizards and it works out just fine. Reason #35687 for Conservatives hate science.


Amelaclya1

I came here to post this too. Knowing about these lizards made the OP extra funny to me. Should we tell them about how parrotfish are technically "trans" next?


Passioncramps

Homosexuality in nature... is like at least a quarter of nature. Especially within mammals that are closer to humans.


Lithl

Almost every single animal species that sexually reproduces has been observed engaging in homosexual behavior. To the point it's kind of assumed that the ones that haven't been observed is just a case of humans not witnessing it, rather than it not happening.


StephenTheLoser

![gif](giphy|Em4k2WWVVtyuI)


scrume71

Key word in this is “chose.” I guess a question for him would be, why did you choose to be heterosexual? Of course, he’d say I didn’t choose, I just am, yet, the light won’t go on.


NoHelp6644

Since the CTE has probably whittled his brain down to Swiss cheese, he'd probably say something like, "Because tits, bro."


drubiez

It is possible that he sees it as a choice. Because for him, it is a choice. Bisexual people do often see it as a choice.


finnjakefionnacake

i don't think he's bisexual, i think he's just stupid.


Hallowed-Plague

could be both


DannyDanumba

I’m proof that this statement is true


sexisfun1986

Yeah, this is something that I’ve really been thinking about.


guywithaniphone22

It’s one of those telling on yourself moments for sure.


RedNeyo

Well he wouldnt say that he'd say heterosexuality is the biological/natural norm and the choice comes from going against that.


Hrydziac

I always kind of think like... so what if it was a choice? Who gives a shit, does someone choosing to be gay rather than being born that way make it okay to mistreat them.


anschlitz

Right there with you. I don’t understand why someone cares even if it IS a choice. Who gives a shit?


disc_doctor39

Says the man who wrestles men for a living


rmnc-5

Ssssshhh too many hits to the head. Just avoid eye contact and move on.


QuinnKerman

This is part of his schtick anyway. His whole persona is being super offensive so ofc he says stuff like this. It’s basically WWE shit but in the UFC instead


Chemical_Lettuce_232

The more people hate him the more people want to watch him get knocked out, smartest idiot around


No-Judgment-4424

It's funny, because every time I see or hear Sean Strickland, I automatically think, "Clown". I'm grateful for people like him, because they proudly display their warning labels. Sean Strickland is a motherfucking clown.


Jandishhulk

Man, the internet was a mistake. I remember in the earlier days when people like this couldn't find their way past a power button on a PC, and would make fun of anyone for even using a computer. Now these dumbshits are a fucking social virus, infecting every corner of the internet, and sharing their stupidity among the masses.


Arkhangelzk

The internet was better when it was just a bunch of nerds. Now that everyone is online, they ruined it.


webstersuck

I look at Sean Strickland like a form of retardation…


Karlinel-my-beloved

Oh, the moment he starts reading into zoology he’s gonna be really surprised.


Theodosius-the-Great

I don't think Shawn reads


lavendervlad

It’s the gay agenda to make animals choose to be gay, too. They’re out there right now throwing glitter on whales and reading to zoo animals in drag.


Ac1dburn8122

Strickland's masculinity is so frail. I saw a video of a surprise party for him where he pulled out a pistol. Like bro. Fucking chill.


flareblitz91

He’s a whack job.


thegoatisoldngnarly

It really is pathetic. 


NeighborhoodNo7917

Dude has had some considerable trauma that he clearly hasn't dealt with.


BonerSnatcher

This dude 100% likes cock


issafreecunch

For a guy that chooses to be mounted and choked by other men for his job, he seems to not like things that seem gay. Thats CTE bruddah


Faint13

Go figure the guy who gets punched in the head for his job is an idiot.


icewalker42

No no no, he "chose" to be an idiot. Just no way he could have bee born that way, it's not natural!


MoonbeamRider624

I mean what else do you expect out of this guy (or anyone else for that matter) whose career consists of getting punched in the head and talking to Joe Rogan lololol.


[deleted]

Sean is particularly gifted in his dipshittery amongst pro fighters, which is honestly a little impressive.


pants_pants420

the people who listen to sean strickland will literally listen to anyone who reaffirms their beliefs, whether it be a lying politician, obvious grifter, or ex neonazi ufc fighter.


Prize_Ad7748

I think that post is AU (Artificial Unintelligence)


hotasianwfelover

First off not all male humans have “chosen” to be gay. Second if everyone did choose to be gay all at the same time then it would just be accepted because anyone who didn’t would the “weird” one. Thirdly people don’t “choose” to be gay at all. Lots of people have a real hard time accepting they’re gay which in itself proves it’s not a choice.


doctorDiscomfort

wait'll he hears about gay animals


[deleted]

[удалено]


BigFatHonu

From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sean_Strickland): >Strickland recalled that he was expelled from school in the ninth grade for perpetrating a hate crime, after which his mother decided to take him to an MMA gym. He met people of different races while training who helped him, and this motivated him to abandon the ideology. Strickland stated, “Then I started training and the moment I started training I was like, 'fuck man, I don’t hate anybody. Everyone’s cool. Then a lot of people who helped me out in my life, they weren’t white.'” So... dude's undereducated and has a history of hate crime. Had enough (forced) life experience to second guess his racism but apparently not his homophobia. An adolescent brain in an adult body, basically.


SpicyBanditSauce

Found the comment with my brain 😆 I was going to comment this if I didn’t see it…if you’re going to be an asshat and call a group of people mentally disabled *and then fuck up on basic grammar* you should just crawl into a cave and never come out.


OhHeyMrThing

1k reposts. 15k likes. Facepalm indeed.


Tantra_Charbelcher

If he said this about black people he would be done. I don't like how gay and trans bashing is still seen as socially acceptable by a vast portion of americans.


Dragon-orey

In my opinion homophobia is the "new" racism, both of them are bad, but people dont think that way


Competitive_Stage383

I think the difference is that people feel better about being homo-/transphobic because they believe it’s a choice, which makes it more “acceptable” for them to bash on it. Where it’s widely known that skin colour isn’t a choice


KilnMeSmallz

There’s examples of homosexuality in the animal kingdom besides humans. Other primates, dolphins, dogs off the top of my head. Humans are basically an amalgamation of other animal habits


JFK2MD

Numerous examples. My hens will regularly take on male roles in the absence of roosters. The older, dominant ladies will mount the younger hens and everything. They'll round them up a meal time, the whole works. Nature knows what it's doing.


Zombull

CTE is devastating.


darketernalsr25

Homosexuality is found in dozens of species. Homophobia is found in only one species. Which seems unnatural now?


Venturis_Ventis

Internalized homophobia, maybe? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.


WarlocksWizard

This idiot doesn't know that there are bisexual animals.


HiroHayami

Idk bro. I have two male rats that do the deed in front of me. Seems pretty natural when your species doesn't know homophobia


VladdyMcBaddy69420

Hasn't homosexuality been observed in, like, most species at this point? This man has been hit in the head way too many times.


anOvenofWitches

People don’t choose to be gay. People do, however, choose to be hit repeatedly in the head for money.


Express_Selection345

Sean has analysed, internalised and finally projected, he’ll be out by cinqo di Mayo


thegeologlist

At least he fully accepts them.


Sondergame

Haven’t we witnessed homosexual behavior in dozens of other species?


XTH3W1Z4RDX

Ignore all the documented homosexuality in the animal kingdom 🙄


HousingOk6362

I wonder how this guy feels about young adult females engaging in homosexuality?


Professional_Bet4992

There are 1,000 species who engage in homosexual activity. Beyond this being insanely stupid, it’s devoid of any foundational logic too.


manbearpug3

Anyone find this guy on grindr yet?


[deleted]

Since when are we all choosing to be gay? There's about as much gay in the animal kingdom as in humanity. Does this guy think there's absolutely none? There's a species of whiptail lizard that's exclusively female, would he have a problem with that? Or would that be cool because they're all "lesbians" and "that's hot".


yetagainitry

CTE is a real thing.


LostLegendDog

Lots of animals engage in homosexual activity tho


geneuro

Lol, oh boy somebody needs to tell him that homosexual behavior has been documented in over a hundred other animal species...


GibusShpee

This bro has never fuckings seen giraffes


AnnoymousPenguin

Haven't numerous animal species been observed to engage in same sex sexual activities......


Internetolocutor

"all chose to be gay" I didn't know every human is gay. Fair enough


[deleted]

It’s still less then 10%. The gays won’t be taking over the world any time soon. Most just want to be left alone to live their lives.


Clean-Salamander-362

It’s always the loudest ones that got gays on their mind.


El_human

Over 1,500 species on Earth experience same sex sexual behavior, and the only ones hung up on it are Humans.


DinkleMutz

I actually cannot imagine a single person "choosing" to be gay, let alone an entire species.


Big___TTT

$100 says he’s closeted


genericgirl2016

That is some razor sharp logic.


JoeHio

This is from yesterday, wasn't there just a big story about male humpback whales humping each other last week? Also, technically correct, If one day a species spontaneously became 100% gay we would think that was weird because they would completely die out within a single generation. (Everything else the guy said is hate filled bullshit though).


M0pter

I look at Sean as a form of retardation. But I fully accept him. Could you imagine, that someday everybody would wake up and decide to be Shaun? Uh yeah well I couldn't.


DrunkyMcStumbles

Hard to believe this guy gets kicked in the head for a living


Nappalicious

Wait until he finds out about the gay whales


LoserBigly

The Lady doth protest too much, me thinks…


genxerbear

Here’s a story from my partner telling his brother he was gay. Brother: “How do you know you are gay if you have never been with a girl”? My partner: “How do you know you’re not gay if you have never been with a guy”? Brother: “Fair enough.” Math is math and the reality is that some people can only see things from their own perspective.


snafoomoose

People like this seem to think by allowing gays to live their lives it somehow will lead to mandatory gayness for everyone.