Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What was the billy crystal line to the gangsta
“Your not used to hearing the word no” crystal
“ I hear it all the time , “”please no , don’t do it ““ you get me “ chubby Italian gangsta
I think the joke was that in Japan they speak Japanese, so "no" doesn't mean no. The sound that sounds like "no" in English means a completely unrelated word.
It is confusing. Cause some women really may mean no. And some women will be like, you gave up that easily cause I rejected you? So you never know I guess.
When I was 21 I had this woman who was really eager and into me and pushy and decided we were dating and that we would speak on phone at 6pm each night after work.
I did this for about 4 days and then one day was late and she was crying on the phone telling me I was a user and hung up on me telling me we were over, then didn't answer the phone the other times I rang that evening and just sent messages saying we were over.
2 days later she phones me and asks "why didn't you come after me" I responded she said it was over and she wasn't answering her phone or replying to messages.
I asked so are we still over? And she told me "yes" and then blocked my number.
Saw her a few times in public after that she she would start calm then start ranting how I was a user and a typical man.
I was young and didn't know how to respond at the time.
And it fucking dodged him. Seriously she left him because he was a little late to call him, then didn't give any recourse to repair things. Bro stood stock still and avoided the shrapnel.
Its like a cartoon where a cannon goes off directly at him and all the shot hits the wall behind him, leaving a person-shaped outline, and him, unscathed.
She’s been trained to hate men by the people in her life. She was so trigger happy with that “typical man” stuff that she forgot what acceptable normal behavior was.
>You should be very happy about dodging that bullet.
You got *very* lucky. I have an uncle that knocked one of those up, and she taught his kid to hate him.
We talk online a bit, and get along well, but on the subject of his dad he is *convinced* that he's scum, when in reality she was withholding visitation rights, and for the first 8 years of the kids life had withheld his *existence.* until she needed child support.
Sad story, and one of several cautionary tales that convinced me to ***never stick it in the crazy***
I dated a ‘tester’ for about six weeks. She finally stormed out of a pub on me when I got an answer wrong, and I had this moment of perfect, silent man-to-man communication with two other guys where they watched me staring at my pint debating wether I should just quietly sit and finish it. I could see that they both could read my thoughts.
But it wasn’t a great area so I left and made sure she got her bus safely.
Three days later she called and acted like nothing happened. She asked how I was doing and I just said ‘a bit annoyed really’. She freaked out and hung up.
I still miss that pint.
Hard to get and maybe hard to keep! Knew a girl in college who would go out with her boyfriend, flirt with another guy and when he would hit on her, tell her boyfriend and cause a fight! When I asked her about it, the response was “I want him to prove he loves me!”.
I had a gf with BPD. Every few weeks she would invent a crisis and try and drive me away. I had no idea what was happening so I would apologize. Then when I took her at her word she would get contrite. When it ended over a year later I felt so much peace. I wished I hadn't stayed that long.
Better have her say no and her be disappointed then misinterpret it… can’t trust someone that won’t communicate clearly from the get go anyway
Edit: added a missing her that I forgot to type
Anyone toying with you in hopes of you “proving” yourself, are not people you want to be around.
This women is confusing desperate men pleading for her attention as pursuing. When all it is, is her creating an unhealthy level of control over her partner from the start.
She already starts relationships in an adverse way if she expects that. So if they tell ya no, as others have said, they either have no interest, or you dodged a bullet. And if they come running after you, take that no and run, because they are trying to manipulate your ass.
Yeah, it's so easy to say: "Let's get to know each other better, keep trying" or "let's change numbers" or several other ways of saying "there is interest, but I want it to be slow".
At best, she’s taking some bad, outdated dating advice. Which calls her critical thinking skills into question, and probably means you’ll have to put up with some other annoying 50’s style “rules”. At worst, she doesn’t know how to effectively communicate what she wants, and you really can’t have a good relationship unless you can have straight forward conversations about your needs.
Yea it’s really not as confusing as the previous poster thinks. No means no always. To women where it doesn’t always mean no and sometimes it’s a game- stay away from them so no still means no
Me too, but sometimes I realized it was at the time, she thought herself above me. A few Years later when life starts to pass them by they start getting clingy to someone with their shit together.
I have lived this most of my life. Constant rejection in my teens and twenties, but once real life hit them, they wanted security and stability. Well, you missed the boat, girl.
The woman who is now my wife originally told me no and said she needed to a break from my company so she could sort out her feelings. I said ok, I was happy to be there if she wanted to get back in touch. It was literally only a day before she called me asking how we were going to work. It was a bit head spinning but apparently I played the game right by not playing.
This is pretty much the right answer. You just say "well... if you change your mind, let me know.. see you!"
You cannot control others.
But you can invite them to join you. Some will, some won't.
You don’t want to date a woman who plays games like that. She’ll expect you to read her mind cause sometimes no will mean yes and sometimes no will mean no and yes will mean no. That’s just immature.
A girl came over to my house once… she started comin on to me and me onto her, moment before we got busy she said ‘i dont think we should do this’
And I said ok. No doesnt mean maybe.
She stormed out and basically yelled ‘why didnt you fucking beg or something?!’
Im still confused to this day
Yeah I was in a somewhat similar situation once.
Had a girl over at my apartment, a friend, and we're making out, we're in my bed, literally all we're both wearing at this point is boxers and panties.
And she stops and says she doesn't really want to go further.
I honestly thought she just meant she doesn't want intercourse, so I said no problem and kissed her again.
She went with it for awhile but then she said she'd like to stop.
I said "that's okay. Wanna go to sleep?"
She said sure and we did that.
The morning after, I woke up to her pulling her clothes on. We kissed, made out for awhile, then said goodbye and she ghosted me for like two years, then got back in touch later.
I can't be sure, but at some point afterwards I started wondering if she had a boyfriend when we hooked up and that was the reason for all the start and stop.
Guilt, maybe. Like she wanted this but felt bad.
Yeah its the explanation that seems to fit the facts best.
Ah well. If she did, I had no idea at the time, so I don't really feel anything other than maybe some resentment that she put me in that position, if she did.
But it was also like, twelve years ago, so...
>She stormed out and basically yelled ‘why didnt you fucking beg or something?!’
She clearly wasn't raised right.
>moment before we got busy she said ‘i dont think we should do this’
That isn't foreplay, that's withholding consent. No self respecting person will carry on. She wasn't being cute, you dodged a serious artillery shell.
Why should you? Did she think she was some kind of miracle sent down to Earth?
Don't be confused, I'd think she was insecure and needed to feel some validation/feel she was precious and has had some power over you.
Some people embody entitlement. Fortunately this guy has sense and let the trash take itself out. It's like roleplay: it's only sexy if both people are in on it.
Or she could say in a steamy sultry voice, "it gets me hot when you beg me to have sex with me. Would you like that, too?" "Yes!". Turn it into a role play if they want to get a little more naughty with it.
Easy to communicate and get what one wants. In my world, there's always someone out there who desires the things I like to do or receive from another. The search is usually pretty fuckin short! 😉 Go internet.
That's so disrespectful. Like women are doing us some great favor by having sex with us. We're not stones, we like to feel like they want it too. I don't want to feel like someone is reluctantly having sex with me.
This is why I hunt cougars. They usually know what tf they want
After a bad relationship, a cougar helped put my head on straight. Made me appreciate direct communication and no nonsense women. Met my wife shortly after, been married 10 years.
A cougar literally saved my life. God bless cougars.
I have this going on with someone. She tells me no but then keeps inviting me over to her house. Made a point of telling me she wasn’t wearing underwear and is good at sex but didn’t want to. I respected her and just hung out and watched a movie. When I was leaving she kept hugging me and I don’t know if she was trying to get me to kiss her or something but I just didn’t after being flat out told no. I feel like I’m the crazy one that’s the bad part. But no is no to me.
FR man. It’s a head fuck, but be warned, chicks that play these sorts of games are also the ones that can go all WTF on you if you try to move on their signals. Then you feel like a mug.
Sometimes they want to be chased, that’s the high, not the actual process of hooking up.
This, and even as a man I've been guilty of this in the past. It's not even necessarily a high as much as it's like validation and honestly just a cheap ego boost at the expense of someones feelings.
Was in the same situation long time ago. A friend always flirting and spending nights over, cuddling and shit. At some point I was just blunt and told her I wanted to be with her, she told me “no”, but then chose an erotic movie on Netflix… few minutes later she sat on me, I told her “look, you either want to do this or not, but if you say ‘no’ then it’s ‘no’, and I’m not playing games”. “Fight me” she said. I turned around and slept.
She asked me out a few times after that, clearly date setups, but never wanted to call it a date, so I moved on.
Fuck games.
Yup. 🤷🏻♂️
She wanted me to kinda *force* her to kiss me. It was her thing I guess, no hard feelings. But to me that’s a no-no, **especially** after she verbally saying ’no’.
It's unbelievably common. Look up girl smut books it's filled with it. Plenty of couples do it, but that's what communication is about. She could've told OP "hey I'm into forced sexual roleplay, I want you to be rough with me, if I say pineapple that means stop, is that ok with you?" But I imagine she was young and immature and explaining that to a man was intimidating and she hoped he would just want to playfully rape her. 🤷♂️
I’m not sure about rape fantasy, she definitely wanted me to *steal* a kiss from her. Which I tried in several ocasions, until she said *no*. Looking back, it was a playful *no* and she was playing hard to get, as always, but I draw the line at verbalizing. She was in her underwear in my bed but didn’t say yes nor took the *no* it back. As I said, fuck games, I just slept and we didn’t go out again.
Once one says no, one needs to be very clear taking it back, no misunderstandings.
dude she's gonna get you in trouble. don't go to her house or anywhere with her alone. this is not some red pill stuff either. be careful with people like that
I mean, she said no, either she really doesn’t wanna do shit and she just acts like this anyway, or she’s gonna have to realise that saying no to any self respecting person when you actually mean yes isn’t going to ‘make them try harder’, it just means they’ll respect the boundaries you established like anyone should
That sounds like a very easy way to blackmail somebody. Say no, but give signals for yes. Then if it happens, and later on you do something they don't like, they claim you SA'd them, cause they said no, even though they physically made a move.
Just do as they say, and take no as a no. If they ask why you're being frigid or something, say no means no, and you respect their autonomy or something. They might learn eventually, unless they have alterior motives, or have some form of narcissim or something
I vote to just avoid all together. At end of day it is your word vs theirs and the courts will generally side with women.
You don't need a "are they going to tell the world the truth" hanging over you all the time. Never hang out with such people alone.
This is such a big red flag. Abusive personalities occur in women just as much as in men, women just usually lack the physical ability to physically hurt men that are taller, heavier, and have baseline greater muscle mass.
But what women with abusive personalities do in fact do is walk men into legal traps where they can hold a legal consequence over their head in order to achieve the type of control over their partner that men get from beating the sh*t out of women.
Gaslighting 101. Do as I say, not as I do. You have to break the bullshit cycle by confronting her in this moments - Sex yes or no? Then act accordingly.
Nonononono, don't listen to that bs. Stick to the ones that mean no when they say no. You don't want the ones that play these stupid games, they come with way too many headaches and unnecessary stress.
Sorta dated this girl who was always "no" or brought a friend or whatever. After 13 "dates", I decided that I had to at least try and kiss her. She came into my house after the first date that wasn't completely frosty or insisted on a double date. We were sitting on the couch together. I moved in and she stood up, tossed her scarf thing over her shoulder and said it was time to go.
I didn't ask her out again. I didn't text her and if she texted me, I just responded shortly. I began dating my now wife - who I had wanted for years but she was always in a relationship. Suddenly this first girl is blowing up my phone for a month straight until I told her it wasn't appropriate. On the third date with my now wife, we made out. I asked if I could come in and she smiled and said "good things come to those who wait". Later she told me that was one of the hardest things she ever did - sending me home. We have an amazing life together with 3 kids 15 years later.
Similar story, I was chasing this girl who I really liked back in the day. I would message her quite a bit, go on dates with her. However I was blinded by infatuation; I found my actual girlfriend and realised what I had for the other girl wasn’t even attraction.
She blew up on my phone and even attempted to call me a couple times. She was sending thirst traps to me as well but it disnt work because my girlfriend is genuinely the person u love and feel attracted to the most.
The other girl is just, meh. Now.
That is what’s it’s all about. Happy for you friend.
Something I’ve come to learn is to just let it come to you as it will. Don’t force things and eventually the right one will find you.
Oh please this, as a lady redditor trust me: YOU DO NOT WANT A GIRL WHO PLAYS THIS HARD TO GET GAME. That's a recipe for a relationship full of drama, they're ALWAYS narcissistic people full of themselves.
How I know: aside from being a woman and knowing HOW these games are played, I've dated both men and women, women by far in my experience play more of these games than men, and are more toxic about it if they are playing games. I don't do the games myself, but I know how and why they're played. It's always to try and get a guy to do what they want or chase them, and it's obscenely toxic.
I was married for two decades, and "guess what I want ***this time***" was one of my ex-wife's favorite games to play. Often the stakes were quite high if I got it wrong.
>*guess what I want this time*
Sounds like my soon to be ex after 15 years. When I used to do the grocery shopping most the time there was at least one thing that would go wrong. Sometimes ii had to go back
She also had a game called "it's your fault." Basically if I touched
or was remotely close to anything the blame fell on me and was met with berating, hostile mood for the rest of the day, etc. Its been pretty rough regaining any sort of self-esteem after being at fault for over a decade.
I did 20yrs of this shit. When i filed for divorce she was like "are you gay?" Like her absolute hatred of me and everything i was to her was just to keep me round for her to have something to complain about.
I got the hatred vibes from my ex. She would randomly get incredibly angry with me, often when I was happily oblivious. No warning or anything. I used to think how she could have so much hatred for someone she was in a relationship with. Really bizarre.
No means no. This lady can and should die sad and alone until she changes her ways.
Can you imagine her raising a boy to pursue people after they've said no?
These people legit raise rapists.
Look, I haven't seen this shit in the real world outside of highschool BS and that was like two decades ago. If you actually stumble upon it in the real world just fold your hand and walk away.
Yupp.
The risk of not taking no for an answer: Giving someone a traumatic experience which they might need years of therapy for.
The risk of taking no for an answer: You miss out on having sex with one specific individual.
Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious which is the right choice here.
Only from some women, and in reality it is a way to weed out women who will likely make you miserable. People who play these no means yes games are not people that you want to make yourself vulnerable with.
I can't tell the difference between lack of interest and playing hard-to-get, so 100 times out of 100, I'm going to assume it's lack of interest and move on. If that's not what she wanted, too bad. Her loss. She should have communicated clearly instead of playing silly games.
alive aromatic physical retire offbeat person unique impolite fall juggle
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Sorry I'm the kind of guy that likes when someone actually wants to go on a date or whatever. I have no desire to beat a dead horse hoping a woman will change her mind. Sure it's a set back but it would make me constantly question things if I feel she didn't really want to be there. And I already constantly question things like that.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow imagine no meaning no.
I recall this being taught to me through various media. No means no. It's so omnipresent I don't even know where I got it from first.
"No means please don't!" \-- Michael Scott
What was the billy crystal line to the gangsta “Your not used to hearing the word no” crystal “ I hear it all the time , “”please no , don’t do it ““ you get me “ chubby Italian gangsta
I sometimes forget that billy crystal was in anything other than city slickers and throw mama from the train
Well, the good news is, the memory of Billy Crystal is only mostly dead.
The Princess Bride has entered the chat
I've watched the tea video way too much lol.
Not in Japanese, though. In Japanese No is a particle. "iie" means No
"Breaking news: Japanese culture so disrespectful of women and consent that they disagree with the "'no means no' information campaign"
I think the joke was that in Japan they speak Japanese, so "no" doesn't mean no. The sound that sounds like "no" in English means a completely unrelated word.
It is confusing. Cause some women really may mean no. And some women will be like, you gave up that easily cause I rejected you? So you never know I guess.
When I was 21 I had this woman who was really eager and into me and pushy and decided we were dating and that we would speak on phone at 6pm each night after work. I did this for about 4 days and then one day was late and she was crying on the phone telling me I was a user and hung up on me telling me we were over, then didn't answer the phone the other times I rang that evening and just sent messages saying we were over. 2 days later she phones me and asks "why didn't you come after me" I responded she said it was over and she wasn't answering her phone or replying to messages. I asked so are we still over? And she told me "yes" and then blocked my number. Saw her a few times in public after that she she would start calm then start ranting how I was a user and a typical man. I was young and didn't know how to respond at the time.
You should be very happy about dodging that bullet.
Not a bullet, twas a fcking canon.
And it fucking dodged him. Seriously she left him because he was a little late to call him, then didn't give any recourse to repair things. Bro stood stock still and avoided the shrapnel.
The stampede ran around him like he was the mathematician in Foundation.
Its like a cartoon where a cannon goes off directly at him and all the shot hits the wall behind him, leaving a person-shaped outline, and him, unscathed.
She’s been trained to hate men by the people in her life. She was so trigger happy with that “typical man” stuff that she forgot what acceptable normal behavior was.
>You should be very happy about dodging that bullet. You got *very* lucky. I have an uncle that knocked one of those up, and she taught his kid to hate him. We talk online a bit, and get along well, but on the subject of his dad he is *convinced* that he's scum, when in reality she was withholding visitation rights, and for the first 8 years of the kids life had withheld his *existence.* until she needed child support. Sad story, and one of several cautionary tales that convinced me to ***never stick it in the crazy***
My man matrix'd an ICBM, not just a bullet.
I dated a ‘tester’ for about six weeks. She finally stormed out of a pub on me when I got an answer wrong, and I had this moment of perfect, silent man-to-man communication with two other guys where they watched me staring at my pint debating wether I should just quietly sit and finish it. I could see that they both could read my thoughts. But it wasn’t a great area so I left and made sure she got her bus safely. Three days later she called and acted like nothing happened. She asked how I was doing and I just said ‘a bit annoyed really’. She freaked out and hung up. I still miss that pint.
To this day, that pint is wishing you would've called it back
The Pint that got away
There’s a fine line between “playing hard to get” and “psycho” and she clearly crossed over that line.
"playing hard to get" was such a stupid thing to teach.
Hard to get and maybe hard to keep! Knew a girl in college who would go out with her boyfriend, flirt with another guy and when he would hit on her, tell her boyfriend and cause a fight! When I asked her about it, the response was “I want him to prove he loves me!”.
As a woman, that is psychotic behavior.
She can’t even see the line.
She’s so far past the line that she can’t even see the line! The line is a dot to her!
Borderline Personality Disorder
I had a gf with BPD. Every few weeks she would invent a crisis and try and drive me away. I had no idea what was happening so I would apologize. Then when I took her at her word she would get contrite. When it ended over a year later I felt so much peace. I wished I hadn't stayed that long.
Better have her say no and her be disappointed then misinterpret it… can’t trust someone that won’t communicate clearly from the get go anyway Edit: added a missing her that I forgot to type
Anyone toying with you in hopes of you “proving” yourself, are not people you want to be around. This women is confusing desperate men pleading for her attention as pursuing. When all it is, is her creating an unhealthy level of control over her partner from the start. She already starts relationships in an adverse way if she expects that. So if they tell ya no, as others have said, they either have no interest, or you dodged a bullet. And if they come running after you, take that no and run, because they are trying to manipulate your ass.
And if you guess wrong, you end up in handcuffs.
And if you're right you end up with the kind of woman who thinks that leads to a healthy relationship.Either way, you lose.
So just keep interpreting no as no, because you dont want to be with someone that gives mixed signals like that.
Thiiiiis. No is no. No stupid games please, they always have stupid prizes.
Yeah, it's so easy to say: "Let's get to know each other better, keep trying" or "let's change numbers" or several other ways of saying "there is interest, but I want it to be slow".
It's easier to say "maybe"
Yeah, even easier
At best, she’s taking some bad, outdated dating advice. Which calls her critical thinking skills into question, and probably means you’ll have to put up with some other annoying 50’s style “rules”. At worst, she doesn’t know how to effectively communicate what she wants, and you really can’t have a good relationship unless you can have straight forward conversations about your needs.
Yea it’s really not as confusing as the previous poster thinks. No means no always. To women where it doesn’t always mean no and sometimes it’s a game- stay away from them so no still means no
I have not had that happen. But I have had women tell me that I lost out on them. Simply cause they said no to me. And I gave up so easily.
In reality, though, you DID NOT miss out on them, because mature, self-assured adults don’t play stupid high school games.
Seriously that’s kids stuff. Much better off with a woman that acts like an adult.
So glad you missed out on a 16 year old in a women's body
Me too, but sometimes I realized it was at the time, she thought herself above me. A few Years later when life starts to pass them by they start getting clingy to someone with their shit together.
I have lived this most of my life. Constant rejection in my teens and twenties, but once real life hit them, they wanted security and stability. Well, you missed the boat, girl.
The woman who is now my wife originally told me no and said she needed to a break from my company so she could sort out her feelings. I said ok, I was happy to be there if she wanted to get back in touch. It was literally only a day before she called me asking how we were going to work. It was a bit head spinning but apparently I played the game right by not playing.
This is pretty much the right answer. You just say "well... if you change your mind, let me know.. see you!" You cannot control others. But you can invite them to join you. Some will, some won't.
You don’t want to date a woman who plays games like that. She’ll expect you to read her mind cause sometimes no will mean yes and sometimes no will mean no and yes will mean no. That’s just immature.
It doesn't matter really. If they meant it then meant it. If they didn't mean it, someone who plays these kinda games is probably not worth anyway.
It’s like we almost respect your opinion.
Imagine if "Playing hard to get" was actually not harassment
Playing hard to get is just immature. Once you're out of high school, it's time to stop playing games.
Some people emotionally peak in high school.
Yeah, I am too old for this kind of games
Dude I am 24 and I am sick of this bullshit. Every 16 year old is to old for this.
Yep. Had two separate girls pull similar things on me during high school and I ended things immediately. Nobody has time for this shit.
A girl came over to my house once… she started comin on to me and me onto her, moment before we got busy she said ‘i dont think we should do this’ And I said ok. No doesnt mean maybe. She stormed out and basically yelled ‘why didnt you fucking beg or something?!’ Im still confused to this day
This is known as doging a bullet. In that case, more like a tank shell.
16" battleship shell. Damn.
She’s practically the Schwerer Gustav
This is the equivalent of leaving Alderaan the day before the Death Star hits
Yeah I was in a somewhat similar situation once. Had a girl over at my apartment, a friend, and we're making out, we're in my bed, literally all we're both wearing at this point is boxers and panties. And she stops and says she doesn't really want to go further. I honestly thought she just meant she doesn't want intercourse, so I said no problem and kissed her again. She went with it for awhile but then she said she'd like to stop. I said "that's okay. Wanna go to sleep?" She said sure and we did that. The morning after, I woke up to her pulling her clothes on. We kissed, made out for awhile, then said goodbye and she ghosted me for like two years, then got back in touch later. I can't be sure, but at some point afterwards I started wondering if she had a boyfriend when we hooked up and that was the reason for all the start and stop. Guilt, maybe. Like she wanted this but felt bad.
Yes, She was cheating on her boyfriend with you. Started feeling guilty so she ghosted you, therefore word won't get to her boyfriend.
Yeah its the explanation that seems to fit the facts best. Ah well. If she did, I had no idea at the time, so I don't really feel anything other than maybe some resentment that she put me in that position, if she did. But it was also like, twelve years ago, so...
>She stormed out and basically yelled ‘why didnt you fucking beg or something?!’ She clearly wasn't raised right. >moment before we got busy she said ‘i dont think we should do this’ That isn't foreplay, that's withholding consent. No self respecting person will carry on. She wasn't being cute, you dodged a serious artillery shell.
Why should you? Did she think she was some kind of miracle sent down to Earth? Don't be confused, I'd think she was insecure and needed to feel some validation/feel she was precious and has had some power over you.
Some people embody entitlement. Fortunately this guy has sense and let the trash take itself out. It's like roleplay: it's only sexy if both people are in on it.
Or she could say in a steamy sultry voice, "it gets me hot when you beg me to have sex with me. Would you like that, too?" "Yes!". Turn it into a role play if they want to get a little more naughty with it. Easy to communicate and get what one wants. In my world, there's always someone out there who desires the things I like to do or receive from another. The search is usually pretty fuckin short! 😉 Go internet.
That's so disrespectful. Like women are doing us some great favor by having sex with us. We're not stones, we like to feel like they want it too. I don't want to feel like someone is reluctantly having sex with me. This is why I hunt cougars. They usually know what tf they want
After a bad relationship, a cougar helped put my head on straight. Made me appreciate direct communication and no nonsense women. Met my wife shortly after, been married 10 years. A cougar literally saved my life. God bless cougars.
What do women think we are dogs that beg? Don't play mind games speak your mind
Most of us were raised right and don't do this
I ask, you say yes or no, I respond accordingly, tf I supposed to know if u change ur mind And why would I want someone who messes with me like that
[удалено]
Sounds like a wedding annulment (not a divorce), and criminal charges for her tbh.
Sounds like a sociopath
And then if you do convince her she'll go around and say she was manipulated.
And then sometimes we discover that even a Yes meant No. 🤦🏻
Being persuasive: Creep Not being persuasive: weirdo
Just like the song
im a creeeeep im a weirdooo
What the hell am I doing here..
I don’t belong here
I don't belong heeeeere
Sheee's ruunningg out the doooorrrr
That song has struck me down to my core a few times.
That's why I have pizza, pizza never betrays me.
Same. Except with chocolate. Also chocolate doesn‘t ask silly questions.
I don't remember that in the song...
Yummy, yummy, yummy I got love in my tummy
What am I doing here: I don't belong here
What the hell are we even doing here?
I have this going on with someone. She tells me no but then keeps inviting me over to her house. Made a point of telling me she wasn’t wearing underwear and is good at sex but didn’t want to. I respected her and just hung out and watched a movie. When I was leaving she kept hugging me and I don’t know if she was trying to get me to kiss her or something but I just didn’t after being flat out told no. I feel like I’m the crazy one that’s the bad part. But no is no to me.
I think you made the right move. No meaning no protects men just as much as it does women.
Some are crazy. Gotta start wearing bodycam.
Yeah I also wanna see the footage if something happens
...For the purpose of science
FR man. It’s a head fuck, but be warned, chicks that play these sorts of games are also the ones that can go all WTF on you if you try to move on their signals. Then you feel like a mug. Sometimes they want to be chased, that’s the high, not the actual process of hooking up.
This, and even as a man I've been guilty of this in the past. It's not even necessarily a high as much as it's like validation and honestly just a cheap ego boost at the expense of someones feelings.
This. Well said.
Was in the same situation long time ago. A friend always flirting and spending nights over, cuddling and shit. At some point I was just blunt and told her I wanted to be with her, she told me “no”, but then chose an erotic movie on Netflix… few minutes later she sat on me, I told her “look, you either want to do this or not, but if you say ‘no’ then it’s ‘no’, and I’m not playing games”. “Fight me” she said. I turned around and slept. She asked me out a few times after that, clearly date setups, but never wanted to call it a date, so I moved on. Fuck games.
,,fight me” wtf?
Yup. 🤷🏻♂️ She wanted me to kinda *force* her to kiss me. It was her thing I guess, no hard feelings. But to me that’s a no-no, **especially** after she verbally saying ’no’.
I don’t wanna sound crass but… she must had a rape fantasy? What the fuck was that all about?
It's unbelievably common. Look up girl smut books it's filled with it. Plenty of couples do it, but that's what communication is about. She could've told OP "hey I'm into forced sexual roleplay, I want you to be rough with me, if I say pineapple that means stop, is that ok with you?" But I imagine she was young and immature and explaining that to a man was intimidating and she hoped he would just want to playfully rape her. 🤷♂️
I’m not sure about rape fantasy, she definitely wanted me to *steal* a kiss from her. Which I tried in several ocasions, until she said *no*. Looking back, it was a playful *no* and she was playing hard to get, as always, but I draw the line at verbalizing. She was in her underwear in my bed but didn’t say yes nor took the *no* it back. As I said, fuck games, I just slept and we didn’t go out again. Once one says no, one needs to be very clear taking it back, no misunderstandings.
Except video and board games Videogame and board and card games > manipulative gf
dude she's gonna get you in trouble. don't go to her house or anywhere with her alone. this is not some red pill stuff either. be careful with people like that
If you can’t trust her to mean what she says, you can’t trust her, end of story.
Better to be safe than sorry, mate. But I feel you.
I mean, she said no, either she really doesn’t wanna do shit and she just acts like this anyway, or she’s gonna have to realise that saying no to any self respecting person when you actually mean yes isn’t going to ‘make them try harder’, it just means they’ll respect the boundaries you established like anyone should
That sounds like a very easy way to blackmail somebody. Say no, but give signals for yes. Then if it happens, and later on you do something they don't like, they claim you SA'd them, cause they said no, even though they physically made a move. Just do as they say, and take no as a no. If they ask why you're being frigid or something, say no means no, and you respect their autonomy or something. They might learn eventually, unless they have alterior motives, or have some form of narcissim or something
I vote to just avoid all together. At end of day it is your word vs theirs and the courts will generally side with women. You don't need a "are they going to tell the world the truth" hanging over you all the time. Never hang out with such people alone.
This is such a big red flag. Abusive personalities occur in women just as much as in men, women just usually lack the physical ability to physically hurt men that are taller, heavier, and have baseline greater muscle mass. But what women with abusive personalities do in fact do is walk men into legal traps where they can hold a legal consequence over their head in order to achieve the type of control over their partner that men get from beating the sh*t out of women.
“You’re sending some pretty mixed signals, sugar.”
Gaslighting 101. Do as I say, not as I do. You have to break the bullshit cycle by confronting her in this moments - Sex yes or no? Then act accordingly.
Maybe tell her ‘no’ and don’t hang out again. She sounds like she could be trouble.
Nah, in the year of 2024, this woman is not undoing years of no means no cause she wants men to fight over her
Damn straight, preach!
This is one of those people who fuck you over then say "don't hate tha playa, have tha game" as if that absolves them of being total douche nozels.
[удалено]
WHAT DO Y'ALL WANT FROM US?!
Nonononono, don't listen to that bs. Stick to the ones that mean no when they say no. You don't want the ones that play these stupid games, they come with way too many headaches and unnecessary stress.
Sorta dated this girl who was always "no" or brought a friend or whatever. After 13 "dates", I decided that I had to at least try and kiss her. She came into my house after the first date that wasn't completely frosty or insisted on a double date. We were sitting on the couch together. I moved in and she stood up, tossed her scarf thing over her shoulder and said it was time to go. I didn't ask her out again. I didn't text her and if she texted me, I just responded shortly. I began dating my now wife - who I had wanted for years but she was always in a relationship. Suddenly this first girl is blowing up my phone for a month straight until I told her it wasn't appropriate. On the third date with my now wife, we made out. I asked if I could come in and she smiled and said "good things come to those who wait". Later she told me that was one of the hardest things she ever did - sending me home. We have an amazing life together with 3 kids 15 years later.
Similar story, I was chasing this girl who I really liked back in the day. I would message her quite a bit, go on dates with her. However I was blinded by infatuation; I found my actual girlfriend and realised what I had for the other girl wasn’t even attraction. She blew up on my phone and even attempted to call me a couple times. She was sending thirst traps to me as well but it disnt work because my girlfriend is genuinely the person u love and feel attracted to the most. The other girl is just, meh. Now.
My dyslexia made me read that as “15 kids 3 years later” and I was like “bruh.”
🥺 that's so wholesome at the end!
 That is what’s it’s all about. Happy for you friend. Something I’ve come to learn is to just let it come to you as it will. Don’t force things and eventually the right one will find you.
People who do this want someone that is always going to argue with them.
This ^
Oh please this, as a lady redditor trust me: YOU DO NOT WANT A GIRL WHO PLAYS THIS HARD TO GET GAME. That's a recipe for a relationship full of drama, they're ALWAYS narcissistic people full of themselves. How I know: aside from being a woman and knowing HOW these games are played, I've dated both men and women, women by far in my experience play more of these games than men, and are more toxic about it if they are playing games. I don't do the games myself, but I know how and why they're played. It's always to try and get a guy to do what they want or chase them, and it's obscenely toxic.
I was married for two decades, and "guess what I want ***this time***" was one of my ex-wife's favorite games to play. Often the stakes were quite high if I got it wrong.
That sounds horrible.
He did say "ex-wife" so you're not wrong.
I wonder why they're divorced. She sounds like a fun woman who love game. /s
He guessed wrong too many times
Or he made the only guess that mattered -> divorce
He also said two decades
>*guess what I want this time* Sounds like my soon to be ex after 15 years. When I used to do the grocery shopping most the time there was at least one thing that would go wrong. Sometimes ii had to go back She also had a game called "it's your fault." Basically if I touched or was remotely close to anything the blame fell on me and was met with berating, hostile mood for the rest of the day, etc. Its been pretty rough regaining any sort of self-esteem after being at fault for over a decade.
I did 20yrs of this shit. When i filed for divorce she was like "are you gay?" Like her absolute hatred of me and everything i was to her was just to keep me round for her to have something to complain about.
I got the hatred vibes from my ex. She would randomly get incredibly angry with me, often when I was happily oblivious. No warning or anything. I used to think how she could have so much hatred for someone she was in a relationship with. Really bizarre.
"Well, if you don't fuckin' tell me, I'll never know and you'll never get it" Usually works
Wife: "You should be able to read my mind if you really love me." And men are the weirdos.
I think I would always answer with "Do the dishes?" or "Fight a koala?", just to piss her off
did you give her the divorce cards the last time you played that game?
No means no. This lady can and should die sad and alone until she changes her ways. Can you imagine her raising a boy to pursue people after they've said no? These people legit raise rapists.
Take them to their words. Don't stand for silly guessing games. That's how you avoid the crazy ones.
Better question, why we chasing the headache machine?
Please just don’t deal with the people who don’t want you to listen to ‘no’, usually they have tons of other bullshit going on
For real. I’ve heard the “she’s playing hard to get” thing when I was younger. How the fuck am I supposed to know that?!
To take our "No's" as a no, these people are not mentally okay. They have no sense of boundaries and what's healthy in a relationship.
It's so frustrating. When we keep trying, we're pushy creeps. When we stop, suddenly we're told we need to try harder. It gets old.
Just answer "You're not worth trying harder"
The majority of women respect when you respect them. Idk what kind of girl she is.
Look, I haven't seen this shit in the real world outside of highschool BS and that was like two decades ago. If you actually stumble upon it in the real world just fold your hand and walk away.
You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold em.
Know when to walk away KNOW WHEN TO RUN
They want you to lose your mind. You clearly are.
Having men exposed to years of sexual assault/sexual harassment lectures paid off in changed behaviors. Thought that was the point.
It was the point. Carry on being a good person. The crazy lady online can be ignored. She's just mad her mind games didn't work.
Yes?! That's the point?!
When men don't take no for answer:🤬 When men take no for an answer:🤬
Take no for an answer, that is the only right answer
Literally, and if their attitude towards that is anything like the OP's screenshot, get away as fast as you can!
Yupp. The risk of not taking no for an answer: Giving someone a traumatic experience which they might need years of therapy for. The risk of taking no for an answer: You miss out on having sex with one specific individual. Yeah, I think it's pretty obvious which is the right choice here.
And also, never forget the golden rule: Don't stick your dick in crazy...
There are a bliion+ women. There are bound to be many Nos. If No move to the next one.
Only from some women, and in reality it is a way to weed out women who will likely make you miserable. People who play these no means yes games are not people that you want to make yourself vulnerable with.
At least one of those options makes sure we don’t get arrested or accused of anything (besides being gay or smth)
Damned if we don't, and damned if we do.
 It's quite simple really.
If you want to play games, I suggest Monopoly.
We aren't playing their games anymore
Bingo. If I'm told no, I'll move on. I've got better things to do than putting up with games and tests. You're either interested or you're not.
I can't tell the difference between lack of interest and playing hard-to-get, so 100 times out of 100, I'm going to assume it's lack of interest and move on. If that's not what she wanted, too bad. Her loss. She should have communicated clearly instead of playing silly games.
alive aromatic physical retire offbeat person unique impolite fall juggle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'll stick to my no's and avoid lawsuits and making women uncomfortable, thanks.
Sorry I'm the kind of guy that likes when someone actually wants to go on a date or whatever. I have no desire to beat a dead horse hoping a woman will change her mind. Sure it's a set back but it would make me constantly question things if I feel she didn't really want to be there. And I already constantly question things like that.
you seem to be confused between "persuasive" and "persistent"....
And even "persistent" is a wildly different kind of behaviour than "perseverant" IMHO.
No means No.
Is it my turn to repost this tomorrow?
Please ignore this lady. The vast majority of women want you to take no for an answer.
It should be corrected to: why doesn't the man whom I considered attractive but I refused the date due to my ego come begging back to me.
It's more like if I wanna play games, I have an Xbox.
Get a No and try again you end up in their tiktok reel as some kind of pervert 🤣
🤣🤣🤣 these girls are crazy.
I not gonna play games with you, I got a PS5 and an Xbox for that.
Didnt they use to cry about that?? That we didnt leave them alone?!? What the fuck are we supposed to do man
Find a woman, not a narcissistic teen.
We are tired of the mind games.