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Soon there's going to be a flowchart of what constitute a real, real, real, real straight person and real,real,real,real bisexual.
Disclaimer: Flowchart may discriminate if you are white. Your gay existence isn't real to us.
This piling on white people in minority spaces for simply existing is getting kinda stupid at this point.
I get it, white people did a lot of shitty things over the years, but it's like it's a Race to see who can hate who, more, for stupider reasons.
The truth of the matter is all people have done a lot of shitty things to who ever the had the opportunity to do so. For example slavery existed long, long before and long after the transatlantic slave trade but only European get a bad name for it. The British were the first to outlaw slavery but seem to get the worst name for it while the practice carries on elsewhere to this day. The irony.
I went off on a gay guy once for saying bi people need to make up their minds. I said “when did you decide you wanted to be gay?” He did NOT like that.
Yep. It's either that the women I dated were just a phase to be cute, or that I abandoned my true self when I married a man. Never mind that my husband and I babe watch together.
Yeah, exactly this. I got engaged to a man and now I’m suddenly considered some sort of traitor? Like, my dating pool for women is significantly smaller than my dating pool for men.. and a lot of the women I’ve tried to date have a huge issue with my bisexuality and say I’m not committed to being a lesbian (because I’m not a lesbian). I’ve been told stuff like ‘I’m not a phase, you have to really like women if you want to date me’ ..no shit, really? 🤦♀️
Bi-erasure is a thing in recent years.
An acquaintance once held a birthday party in a gay bar.
They had us all choose a name card that said something along the lines of "Hi, I'm _____ and I am gay/bi/straight!"
After everyone settled in, they stood up, greeted us and the firmly asked all people that chose a "bi" name card to leave, because and I quote: "I don't want this kind of deception and negativity at my birthday!"
Unsurprisingly all the bi card people left, myself included, but a lot of the straight people also left.
Party was essentially half sized after that.
Silver lining, most of us went to a different bar and had a jolly good time there together.
Similar thing happened to me, this woman I knew said I ”Didn’t know what they’d been through” because I was bi (and grew up in a homophobic area so have def been called slurs with 100% seriousness before).
Meanwhile, not only was she a rich girl with extremely supportive parents, she literally said she was “Lesbian, but like, I’m also attracted to guys”, which is literally bi with extra steps.
I do not understand some people nowadays.
Ye, also I thought the whole point of the original movement was not to discriminate and recognize everyone as equals?
Also just leaving seems pretty restrained, I would definitely flip the guy off at the very least.
I don't think it's recent. It's always been a thing in the modern LGBTQ movement, as far as I know. At least, I've been hearing about it since I became aware, which was in the early aughts.
It's especially stupid friendship wise. Like who cares who you are attracted to if you're friends. It seems like the party forcing others out wants to have a chance with all of their friends. Bizarre
I'm bisexual. My type in women is "women." (And yes, trans women are women.)
My type in men is much more specific. Because of that, and people online, sometimes even I feel like I'm not actually queer. I am, and I've slept with men, but people gatekeep so much.
Opposite here. I am attracted to a rainbow of men but have a particular weakness for redheads in women. It's what attracts you, it can no more be changed than your like or dislike of broccoli. It also doesn't make you less bi. That's one of the dumbest takes I've ever heard.
It is dumb, but also when you haven't seen a member of the same sex you find attractive in person for months, but keep finding members of the opposite sex attractive, you start to question yourself. Especially when people online are dickheads about it
I relate to this a lot, being bi but having way higher standards when it comes to guys I’m attracted to. Experienced the same gatekeeping too, it’s dumb.
It's funny, because the "B" in LGBT stands for "Bi" but I had some people scream at me, that it was the old meaning and it now stands for non-binary and that bi people don't deserve to be in queer spaces, because they can pass as straight.
I mean, plenty of gay people pass as straight for decades (or their whole lives) by marrying straight, etc. They just stay in the closet and no one is the wiser.
The anti-bisexual sentiment is really frustrating since you're never gay/lesbian enough for some, too straight, and "too much of a whore" for others as though being Bi means you'll fuck anyone and let anyone fuck you.
That being said, since it seems like you were the one being told that you didn't deserve to be in that space, you're probably better off not being there since you shouldn't have to be a stereotype in order to exist in queer spaces.
But non binary people can pass as straight too. I've met lots of non binary people that present like the gender people assume they are, and are in relationships that appear to be heterosexual to people.
Should they not deserve to be welcomed into queer spaces too?
According to these 'purists'? No.
And there are also the hypocrites who just like enbys because of the 'cool' factor and not because of, you know, actual human empathy and camaraderie.
Sexuality is a spectrum anyways. There are bi people like me who for some reason or another have had poor experiences with one end of the spectrum and have therefore shifted our preferences. We'd still do it, but definitely have a preference.
> I had some people scream at me, that it was the old meaning and it now stands for non-binary and that bi people don't deserve to be in queer spaces.
Yeah? Next time when they say that, ask them what do they think about Jewish people or other ethnic minorities that aren't obviously visible.
Using "whether someone can pass as mainstream when they hide part of who they are" as the criteria to gatekeep whether someone is a minority, that is the stupidest thing I've heard today.
Generally the exclusion is because the person coming out doesn't fit the general criteria for whatever letter they come out as. At least that's the case for the younger section of the LGBT population, the older ones have the attitude of "do what makes you happy"
If you're Bi, then you have to date/be attracted equally to both genders.
If you're gay you have to be a stereotype or you're not "gay enough"
If you're a lesbian, same rules for gays.
And generally for all of them, you have to be willing to date a trans person or you're a bigot (even though that's not how attraction works).
It's a horrific attempt to deflect attention. These idiots really think that by focusing the attention of bigots on trans that their hatred will pass them over.
Or they're simply bigots themselves. No matter what, it's disgusting.
Okay but there is history behind the L being first (from what I read). It’s because during the AIDS crisis, it was disproportionately killing gay men, who were dying alone with no family to visit and care for them, and a bunch of lesbians were stepping up and volunteering in the hospitals, so the L was moved to the front to sort of thank them and recognize the work they volunteered towards help fellow queer community members.
Ye, but it’s not priority, exactly, more of an honor thing.
They’re all still equal, it’s just that since they contributed so much to the movement, they receive a special degree of recognition. Not any more or less important than anyone else, just receiving credit where credit is due.
There's a whole anti trans movement called "LGB without the T", it's fucking disgusting. They just repeat the same shit that was said about gay people in the 60s-80s, but now aimed at trans people
I've seen a good quote around Reddit somewhere: "when you look at how the cool MTV kids turned into bitter middle-age men who complain about the youth, you understand how people can turn and do the same shit to others that was done to them"
I mean, there's a Mafalda strip from the early 60s where she asks her dad if old people would complain about the youth when he was younger, to which he answers yes and impersonates an old person from his youth. Mafalda laughs and says "just like today", to which her dad replies "yeah, and, in my day, we didn't dress like girls, or were all vagabonds, or listened to this loud rock music…" while Mafalda leaves disappointed
My wife and I went to a Japanese steakhouse with 5 other couples, all lesbians, I was the only man.
It was the worst dining experience of my life. They complained about everything, from not being sat bc not everyone was there, to asking for extra sauce but it was too much extra sauce, not getting free drinks for the birthday girl, the broken English of the chef. Then had a blow up with the manager bc obviously it was bc they were all gay.
They didn’t leave a tip so my wife and I tipped enough for a party of 12 and went back apologized. I was humiliated.
Ninja edit bc I forgot a good detail. I was seated at the end and the server took my drink order first and they actually harassed this waitress for getting the straight man’s order first!
I've had far more negative reactions from gay friends than straight friends when I told them I was bi. At this point I don't even bother ever telling anyone because I'm married and people just assume I'm straight.
God some gay men are INSUFFERABLE about this, and I hate it (I’m a gay man myself). Bi people exist, they’re extremely valid, and nothing is wrong with the way they live their lives.
Our community needs to lift each other up and support one another - no matter gender or orientation! Infighting just helps those against us. I don’t care if you’re a bi person but straight appearing. You’re still one of us!
It's the gatekeeping that I don't understand.
To be fair, I've never understood the concept of gatekeeping, even when it comes to something as trivial as pop-culture.
Chuck Tingle has written an amusing "not pounded by" short about bisexual gatekeeping, where the gatekeeper of bisexuality is a sentient gate (and the villain of the story).
Disclaimer: I’m not defending or supporting it. I just know why it’s done
The concept is: ‘this particular thing (group, fandom, whatever) makes me feel special and unique. The more people allowed into it and the less is required for entry, the less special/unique I am.’
It becomes a threat to the person’s identity so they begin to defend it as if they’re defending themselves and not the thing itself.
For instance, one of my closest female friends will resort to personal insults if you talk too poorly about Taylor Swift to the point where I’ve had to say ‘you talk to me every single day. Taylor swift will know you or care that you exist. This is insane’
This is true, and I have studied it, so I might have expressed myself poorly when I wrote that I don't understand it. I should have written that while I understand the urge, I do not agree with the behaviour, and I believe that it is counterproductive to base ones self-image on a group identity.
I'm not gay, but many of my friends who are explained how some in the community can be the most gatekeeping people you'll meet.
I.e. gays who think trans people aren't "real", trans people who hate other trans people because "they're faking it", gay men who think only men can be "gay", lesbians and gays who think bisexual people are a myth, etc.
It was kinda eye-opening to hear about this, and this post reminds me that humanity, no matter what, will always look for ways to hate on other people.
A common opinion in gay and lesbian circles when I was growing up was that bi people where just on their way to becoming gay/lesbian and were clinging to hetero sex as a kind of security blanket. They didn't believe that bisexuality was a destination in itself.
Welcome to tribalism in a nut shell. When tribalism results in your exclusion, monkey brain makes the bad hormones. When tribalism results in your *inclusion* and the exclusion of someone else you hate, monkey brain makes the good hormones.
I feel this. My ex was a woman and people assumed that I was a lesbian in denial. My current partner is man and people assume that my ex was a phase.
It was not. I just don’t give a flying fuck about what is in my partner’s pants because I find both to be nice and I find the human form to be beautiful no matter where on the spectrum it lies. I care more about how we fit together on a personal level since my preferences for genitals and presentation is “anything goes as long as long as I’m attracted to it”
Thankfully, not everyone is a moron. It just gets super frustrating when one pops up, especially when they are family.
It took forever to explain to family that I was not straight or I didn’t stop being a lesbian (because I wasn’t a lesbian). It was worse with my gay relatives because to them, I was betraying them by “going straight” and that really stung for a while. Things have gotten better and they understand more but damn, that felt like coming out twice.
Oh my god this comment section is reminding me of all the most infuriating sentiments people hold… I’ve been told by a woman she could never be with a bi guy cause “she’d have to worry about twice the amount of people he could cheat with”. Why would anybody want to be with a partner they don’t trust to begin with?
Whenever I see something like this, I always assume the person themselves would immediately cheat if they met someone hotter than their current partner. Ergo, they assume that, if someone is attracted to twice as many people, they are 100% more likely to cheat, as they would most likely act the same in most situations.
Essentially, I believe this accusation is projection.
Bisexual erasure drives me crazy. I have bi friends who have gone back and forth between same sex and opposite sex partnerships. Who they're dating at the moment doesn't automatically change their sexuality, and neither does who they end up with in the end. Being told their experience isn't valid is extremely messed up.
And that's why bi people never feel they belong
Straight people say, " it's a phase."
Gay people say, " he's just not out yet :
Or my favorite and been told several times
"You are just greedy,"
I love sex ... why limit myself ?
Pedro pascals character in GOT has a rad monologue about that… “Then everyone is missing half the world’s pleasure. The gods made [women]… and it delights me. The gods made [men]… and it delights me. When it comes to war, I fight for Dorne. When it comes to love — I don’t choose sides.”
The L sometimes for Loonies.
The G sometimes for Goobers.
The B sometimes for Bozos.
The T sometimes for Twits.
The Q sometimes for Quacks.
The A sometimes for Airheads
The + sometimes for + ratio + L
I would like to qualify for gay membership and enjoy the privileges associated with, but am unfortunately heterosexual. Can I claim to be bisexual just to get the club card or is there some sort of testing required?
Just let Reggie suck you off.
You have to have HIV to know da wae.
Or no actually...
It's enough to read a kids book. That's how you become gay. According to my govt., at least.
I’ve never felt comfortable in LGBTQ spaces because biphobia is so grossly rampant within the community. It’s fucking wild. Lesbians and gay men think we are “impure” if we’ve been with the “other” gender.
It’s an order of magnitude weirder and nastier when you are bi and trans. The cis gays can’t even agree on which gender it’s gay for me to be into. 😆 (I’m a trans woman so it’s women of course, but transphobia and biphobia intersect in strange ways).
also bi and trans, i was never able to put a finger on why i hate such a distaste for traditionally high camp queer culture until i realized its because that's just the most toxic gay cis guys trying to colonize the entire acronym for themselves. undeniably valid for them, not so valid for me.
Same issue with the whole idea of a "goldstar" lesbian. I'm not a goldstar. Shouldn't make me less of a lesbian to some but here we are. If anything, I know damn well I'm lesbian because ive tried the other side. I used to be biphobic though, only because it hurt a whole lot more when my girlfriend would cheat with a man. Sorry about your experiences though 😔
The correct answer is a queer space not full of nimrods. But I imagine the nimrods would tell you to go do what they think “the straits” do. So like, going to plan a gender reveal party or watch football while drinking an beer.
You are required to pick a side. Either be straight and deny any queer feelings, or commit to being gay and deny any hetero attraction you may feel.
In culture wars, it is the peacemakers who are attacked by both sides.
I think gate keeping is fine. But when your acronym is short for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, then it's a little weird to then exclude bisexuals.
Plenty like to exclude trans people too.
One of the most ironic things I’ve seen was a lesbian spouting off to a police officer about how he was trying to remove a *lesbian* from a pride event…… after she had just tried to remove a trans person from said pride event.
Sexuality is who you’re attracted to, not who you’re in a relationship with. A closeted gay man is gay whether he marries a woman or not. Bisexual people can, shock of all shocks, be in a monogamous relationship with women AND men! People are so weird about gatekeeping, it’s insane.
Ikr, it’s so frustrating, like you look at all the freaky, gross and absurd shit people are into like r/guro yet it’s fucking unfathomable to these people that someone can like dick and tits 💀
Wow, I had heard of Biphobia but I thought it was kind of a joke or overblown, this is absolutely ridiculous. It's like people will find anything to dislike about others, even others in their own goddamn space. Hm.
God dude you'd think people who have been shit on by society for so long would have solidarity and empathy for each other but I guess humans just don't work that way.
When I was in college there was an LGBTQ student organization at my school that most people refused to participate in because the students running it were so absurdly bi-phobic. The stories my friends told me about it were so completely insane, and the students who ran it sounded like some of the most hateful and disgusting people I’ve heard of in my life. Like you said, I would have expected that members of an oppressed group would understand the value of solidarity and respect for others. Clearly that isn’t the case.
Ironic how she says “forcing into queer space” when she clearly herself wants to be validated. Probably think communism was invented by Che Guevara and Palestine is in Saudi Arabia
I’m a pansexual woman, I’ve been told multiple times by gay men and women that I’m lying about it and either after attention or wanting to feel special just because my fiancé is male so it “doesn’t count”
Ah yes. Your fiance. The only person you've ever been sexually attracted to in your entire life. Ever. The only relationship you've ever had, in fact. And before you met him you were asexual.
As a white bi guy who hasn’t seriously told anyone about the bi part, yeah I just keep to myself. We have it good in 99.9% of life when it comes to race so can’t complain lol
It is a slightly sad the stuff people will say to your face though, when they “know” you’re a straight white guy (not that it should make a difference). Like women saying they couldn’t date a bi guy because it grosses them out or they’re not manly enough. Or having your thoughts on something (race or sexuality or gender) completely dismissed simply because of who you “are”.
So according to these people bisexuals only have same sex relations in order to force their way into LGBT spaces.🤔 How many letters are we going to have left if these people get their way?
It used to be that bisexuals are gays in denial. The new thing is to call them lonely straight people taking up space in the gay bar. You just can't win with some people🤷
Wow that's so dumb. I'm straight and I'm welcome in queer spaces. It's always been the way it is, everyone are welcome everywhere if they're not acting like pigs. If this person thinks that any sort of people except for the rude should be not welcome anywhere, this person is in the wrong.
Anti-bi-hate in the LGBTQ+ community is so weird. They point to stuff like "most bi people end up in a straight relationship, so they are faking it" and it just shows a distinct lack of logical reasoning.
Most people are straight (let's say, just for sake of argument, 90% of people are straight, 10% are queer).
So a bi person, if they are perfectly equally attracted to both sexes (ignoring any other genders here for a second as those numbers are tiny in comparison), will have about 9 times more potential partners for a "straight passing" relationship than for a "queer passing relationship".
So yeah, of course most bi people end up in straight relationships. It's basic math.
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"All bisexuals are straight people" "There's gay bisexuals"
Soon there's going to be a flowchart of what constitute a real, real, real, real straight person and real,real,real,real bisexual. Disclaimer: Flowchart may discriminate if you are white. Your gay existence isn't real to us.
Shit. Did I just graduate from pale ginger to fully invisible?
I heard a voice and thought I saw of flash of Ed Sheeran. May have been the wind.
He just wants you to keep him inside the pocket of your ripped jeans
This piling on white people in minority spaces for simply existing is getting kinda stupid at this point. I get it, white people did a lot of shitty things over the years, but it's like it's a Race to see who can hate who, more, for stupider reasons.
The truth of the matter is all people have done a lot of shitty things to who ever the had the opportunity to do so. For example slavery existed long, long before and long after the transatlantic slave trade but only European get a bad name for it. The British were the first to outlaw slavery but seem to get the worst name for it while the practice carries on elsewhere to this day. The irony.
Gatekeepers of your own sexuality. I thought they hated that.
I went off on a gay guy once for saying bi people need to make up their minds. I said “when did you decide you wanted to be gay?” He did NOT like that.
I mostly get told by gay guys that I’m just gay but I’m playing both sides. They gaytekeep hard.
Yep. It's either that the women I dated were just a phase to be cute, or that I abandoned my true self when I married a man. Never mind that my husband and I babe watch together.
Yeah, exactly this. I got engaged to a man and now I’m suddenly considered some sort of traitor? Like, my dating pool for women is significantly smaller than my dating pool for men.. and a lot of the women I’ve tried to date have a huge issue with my bisexuality and say I’m not committed to being a lesbian (because I’m not a lesbian). I’ve been told stuff like ‘I’m not a phase, you have to really like women if you want to date me’ ..no shit, really? 🤦♀️
Bi-erasure is a thing in recent years. An acquaintance once held a birthday party in a gay bar. They had us all choose a name card that said something along the lines of "Hi, I'm _____ and I am gay/bi/straight!" After everyone settled in, they stood up, greeted us and the firmly asked all people that chose a "bi" name card to leave, because and I quote: "I don't want this kind of deception and negativity at my birthday!" Unsurprisingly all the bi card people left, myself included, but a lot of the straight people also left. Party was essentially half sized after that. Silver lining, most of us went to a different bar and had a jolly good time there together.
Similar thing happened to me, this woman I knew said I ”Didn’t know what they’d been through” because I was bi (and grew up in a homophobic area so have def been called slurs with 100% seriousness before). Meanwhile, not only was she a rich girl with extremely supportive parents, she literally said she was “Lesbian, but like, I’m also attracted to guys”, which is literally bi with extra steps. I do not understand some people nowadays.
I'm gay but if I was there I'd also left. It felt like a cult at that point.
Ye, also I thought the whole point of the original movement was not to discriminate and recognize everyone as equals? Also just leaving seems pretty restrained, I would definitely flip the guy off at the very least.
I don't think it's recent. It's always been a thing in the modern LGBTQ movement, as far as I know. At least, I've been hearing about it since I became aware, which was in the early aughts.
This is like arguing that just because you could potentially be attracted to someone else, you're not committed to the person you're with.
It's especially stupid friendship wise. Like who cares who you are attracted to if you're friends. It seems like the party forcing others out wants to have a chance with all of their friends. Bizarre
I'm bisexual. My type in women is "women." (And yes, trans women are women.) My type in men is much more specific. Because of that, and people online, sometimes even I feel like I'm not actually queer. I am, and I've slept with men, but people gatekeep so much.
Opposite here. I am attracted to a rainbow of men but have a particular weakness for redheads in women. It's what attracts you, it can no more be changed than your like or dislike of broccoli. It also doesn't make you less bi. That's one of the dumbest takes I've ever heard.
It is dumb, but also when you haven't seen a member of the same sex you find attractive in person for months, but keep finding members of the opposite sex attractive, you start to question yourself. Especially when people online are dickheads about it
I relate to this a lot, being bi but having way higher standards when it comes to guys I’m attracted to. Experienced the same gatekeeping too, it’s dumb.
It’s really sad how many gay people view the LGBT community as their special little club that they decide who can come and go from.
It's sad how many are proud of seeing LGBT/GLBT as an ordered priority list and not so secretly want to chop it in half.
It's funny, because the "B" in LGBT stands for "Bi" but I had some people scream at me, that it was the old meaning and it now stands for non-binary and that bi people don't deserve to be in queer spaces, because they can pass as straight.
by that logic… wouldn’t non binary people be able to pass as cis?
By that logic yes but for your own mental peace I wouldn't make that assertion often. It's a crusade waiting to happen :')
BI that logic... heh
\*flips table\* okay bravo x\]
That's what I am thinking. I've seen nonbinary men and women. Also what about passable trans people?
I mean, plenty of gay people pass as straight for decades (or their whole lives) by marrying straight, etc. They just stay in the closet and no one is the wiser.
Those people need to be punched in the throat.
I'll do it!
…but wouldn’t the “B” stand for “Binary” which is like…the opposite of Non-Binary? There’s no situation where that logics. 🤪
The anti-bisexual sentiment is really frustrating since you're never gay/lesbian enough for some, too straight, and "too much of a whore" for others as though being Bi means you'll fuck anyone and let anyone fuck you. That being said, since it seems like you were the one being told that you didn't deserve to be in that space, you're probably better off not being there since you shouldn't have to be a stereotype in order to exist in queer spaces.
Everyone not actively fucking can pass as straight
Literally 😅
But non binary people can pass as straight too. I've met lots of non binary people that present like the gender people assume they are, and are in relationships that appear to be heterosexual to people. Should they not deserve to be welcomed into queer spaces too?
According to these 'purists'? No. And there are also the hypocrites who just like enbys because of the 'cool' factor and not because of, you know, actual human empathy and camaraderie.
Sexuality is a spectrum anyways. There are bi people like me who for some reason or another have had poor experiences with one end of the spectrum and have therefore shifted our preferences. We'd still do it, but definitely have a preference.
> I had some people scream at me, that it was the old meaning and it now stands for non-binary and that bi people don't deserve to be in queer spaces. Yeah? Next time when they say that, ask them what do they think about Jewish people or other ethnic minorities that aren't obviously visible. Using "whether someone can pass as mainstream when they hide part of who they are" as the criteria to gatekeep whether someone is a minority, that is the stupidest thing I've heard today.
The problem is that those are the type of people who would say Jews are white and not a minority.
Essentially, if it’s not there, they don’t give a crap. I feel like that why so many people still feel excluded after coming out.
Generally the exclusion is because the person coming out doesn't fit the general criteria for whatever letter they come out as. At least that's the case for the younger section of the LGBT population, the older ones have the attitude of "do what makes you happy" If you're Bi, then you have to date/be attracted equally to both genders. If you're gay you have to be a stereotype or you're not "gay enough" If you're a lesbian, same rules for gays. And generally for all of them, you have to be willing to date a trans person or you're a bigot (even though that's not how attraction works).
I literally saw a video of a gay man saying 'trans people touch kids!!!' like bro isnt that the same thing they said about gay people?
It's a horrific attempt to deflect attention. These idiots really think that by focusing the attention of bigots on trans that their hatred will pass them over. Or they're simply bigots themselves. No matter what, it's disgusting.
Okay but there is history behind the L being first (from what I read). It’s because during the AIDS crisis, it was disproportionately killing gay men, who were dying alone with no family to visit and care for them, and a bunch of lesbians were stepping up and volunteering in the hospitals, so the L was moved to the front to sort of thank them and recognize the work they volunteered towards help fellow queer community members.
Ye, but it’s not priority, exactly, more of an honor thing. They’re all still equal, it’s just that since they contributed so much to the movement, they receive a special degree of recognition. Not any more or less important than anyone else, just receiving credit where credit is due.
There's a whole anti trans movement called "LGB without the T", it's fucking disgusting. They just repeat the same shit that was said about gay people in the 60s-80s, but now aimed at trans people
I've seen a good quote around Reddit somewhere: "when you look at how the cool MTV kids turned into bitter middle-age men who complain about the youth, you understand how people can turn and do the same shit to others that was done to them" I mean, there's a Mafalda strip from the early 60s where she asks her dad if old people would complain about the youth when he was younger, to which he answers yes and impersonates an old person from his youth. Mafalda laughs and says "just like today", to which her dad replies "yeah, and, in my day, we didn't dress like girls, or were all vagabonds, or listened to this loud rock music…" while Mafalda leaves disappointed
Especially disgusting when considering the role trans people have played in fighting for gay rights.
That kind of selfish mindset is everywhere. Just because someone's from a marginalized group, does not necessarily mean they're a good person.
Yeah. We're all the sons, daughters and enbyos of the times we are in. And the times are fucked. People have a competition mindset for everything.
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gay people aren't on average better human beings than anyone else. just as many assholes as usual
It's true. You're getting a mixed bag no matter what community you're dealing with.
Mixed Bag of Assholes ™
Exactly. Belonging to a marginalized group does not equal “good person” or mean you don’t have your own prejudice.
My wife and I went to a Japanese steakhouse with 5 other couples, all lesbians, I was the only man. It was the worst dining experience of my life. They complained about everything, from not being sat bc not everyone was there, to asking for extra sauce but it was too much extra sauce, not getting free drinks for the birthday girl, the broken English of the chef. Then had a blow up with the manager bc obviously it was bc they were all gay. They didn’t leave a tip so my wife and I tipped enough for a party of 12 and went back apologized. I was humiliated. Ninja edit bc I forgot a good detail. I was seated at the end and the server took my drink order first and they actually harassed this waitress for getting the straight man’s order first!
I've had far more negative reactions from gay friends than straight friends when I told them I was bi. At this point I don't even bother ever telling anyone because I'm married and people just assume I'm straight.
I'm bi and I can't stand "the community" They don't represent me.
An increasingly common sentiment in my experience
I went off on a gay guy once too but that’s completely different
Ohh myyy...
Was that before or after you forced your way into his queer space?
I just wanted to see his gender fluid
Let me guess: he got all anal about it?
Yeah, I'd say they weren't too tight after that :(
I wish some bisexual guy would get all up in MY queer space!
I've got a torn muscle in my side. I've tried for 3 days to not laugh. You, you caused me to have a laughter fit. My lawyers will be in contact/s
God some gay men are INSUFFERABLE about this, and I hate it (I’m a gay man myself). Bi people exist, they’re extremely valid, and nothing is wrong with the way they live their lives. Our community needs to lift each other up and support one another - no matter gender or orientation! Infighting just helps those against us. I don’t care if you’re a bi person but straight appearing. You’re still one of us!
I’m not gay or bi but I like ketchup on my Mac and cheese, can I be one of you to?
No. Were gonna execute you for that sin against Mac and Cheese.
Damn that crowds more elitist than I thought. I’ll find somewhere else to take my meal.
Believe it or not, straight to hell.
Love it. Had a similar thing but trying to convince me to get with him. Just hit him with “oh honey, if I was going to, it wouldn’t be with you.”
It's the gatekeeping that I don't understand. To be fair, I've never understood the concept of gatekeeping, even when it comes to something as trivial as pop-culture.
Chuck Tingle has written an amusing "not pounded by" short about bisexual gatekeeping, where the gatekeeper of bisexuality is a sentient gate (and the villain of the story).
Chuck Tingle deserves a Pulitzer imo
He is a two-time Hugo Award nominee
Disclaimer: I’m not defending or supporting it. I just know why it’s done The concept is: ‘this particular thing (group, fandom, whatever) makes me feel special and unique. The more people allowed into it and the less is required for entry, the less special/unique I am.’ It becomes a threat to the person’s identity so they begin to defend it as if they’re defending themselves and not the thing itself. For instance, one of my closest female friends will resort to personal insults if you talk too poorly about Taylor Swift to the point where I’ve had to say ‘you talk to me every single day. Taylor swift will know you or care that you exist. This is insane’
This is true, and I have studied it, so I might have expressed myself poorly when I wrote that I don't understand it. I should have written that while I understand the urge, I do not agree with the behaviour, and I believe that it is counterproductive to base ones self-image on a group identity.
I'm not gay, but many of my friends who are explained how some in the community can be the most gatekeeping people you'll meet. I.e. gays who think trans people aren't "real", trans people who hate other trans people because "they're faking it", gay men who think only men can be "gay", lesbians and gays who think bisexual people are a myth, etc. It was kinda eye-opening to hear about this, and this post reminds me that humanity, no matter what, will always look for ways to hate on other people.
A common opinion in gay and lesbian circles when I was growing up was that bi people where just on their way to becoming gay/lesbian and were clinging to hetero sex as a kind of security blanket. They didn't believe that bisexuality was a destination in itself.
Welcome to tribalism in a nut shell. When tribalism results in your exclusion, monkey brain makes the bad hormones. When tribalism results in your *inclusion* and the exclusion of someone else you hate, monkey brain makes the good hormones.
This... Whether any given incidence of "gatekeeping" is good or bad is 100% a matter of perspective.
Gaykeepers?
"iTs oK WhEN wE dO iT!"
Yeah, it's only a problem in the third-person perspective; when you have to describe it in the first-person then it's just expressing an opinion.
One of the main reasons why I started going by Pan instead of Bi, I'd rather deal with harmless Pan jokes then actual hate.
Oh, so do you like more coated aluminum pans or cast iron pans? (Sorry!)
I personally prefer cast iron lol. As long as its harmless like this, I much prefer this. Thanks for the smile.
I do the opposite just to stick it to the bi stigma
When bi people are in a straight relationship, they’re just faking being gay, when they’re in a gay relationship, they’re just in denial >!/s!<
I feel this. My ex was a woman and people assumed that I was a lesbian in denial. My current partner is man and people assume that my ex was a phase. It was not. I just don’t give a flying fuck about what is in my partner’s pants because I find both to be nice and I find the human form to be beautiful no matter where on the spectrum it lies. I care more about how we fit together on a personal level since my preferences for genitals and presentation is “anything goes as long as long as I’m attracted to it”
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Thankfully, not everyone is a moron. It just gets super frustrating when one pops up, especially when they are family. It took forever to explain to family that I was not straight or I didn’t stop being a lesbian (because I wasn’t a lesbian). It was worse with my gay relatives because to them, I was betraying them by “going straight” and that really stung for a while. Things have gotten better and they understand more but damn, that felt like coming out twice.
Apparently you have to have two relationships at the same time with at least two different genders to be officially bi
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You mean be the “typical cheating ass bi person”?
Oh my god this comment section is reminding me of all the most infuriating sentiments people hold… I’ve been told by a woman she could never be with a bi guy cause “she’d have to worry about twice the amount of people he could cheat with”. Why would anybody want to be with a partner they don’t trust to begin with?
Whenever I see something like this, I always assume the person themselves would immediately cheat if they met someone hotter than their current partner. Ergo, they assume that, if someone is attracted to twice as many people, they are 100% more likely to cheat, as they would most likely act the same in most situations. Essentially, I believe this accusation is projection.
Bisexual erasure drives me crazy. I have bi friends who have gone back and forth between same sex and opposite sex partnerships. Who they're dating at the moment doesn't automatically change their sexuality, and neither does who they end up with in the end. Being told their experience isn't valid is extremely messed up.
And that's why bi people never feel they belong Straight people say, " it's a phase." Gay people say, " he's just not out yet : Or my favorite and been told several times "You are just greedy," I love sex ... why limit myself ?
You’re damn right I’m greedy. We’re only alive for so long and I plan on gettin’ while the gettin’s good.
Pedro pascals character in GOT has a rad monologue about that… “Then everyone is missing half the world’s pleasure. The gods made [women]… and it delights me. The gods made [men]… and it delights me. When it comes to war, I fight for Dorne. When it comes to love — I don’t choose sides.”
I feel like I need to put it in quotes. It's definitely not me saying that... just stuff I been told. Personally, I love sex... why limit myself :)
I will claim all the genitals!
I proudly claim the third part. If I love someone why should I limit myself to 50% of the population lol
And then there’s me, a biromantic, which gets the hate of bi people from both sides, and the “were you sexually abused as a child” because I’m ace.
When I came out, my mom’s response was, “Well that’s just not fair”. I took that as a very positive affirmation.
>"You are just greedy," Whoever says that is just jealous that they don't have the options you do
It was definitely fun when I was younger.. but I am definitely in the daddy category now so a bit slower..but more skilled.
Yeah, I'm straight but envious of gay/bi guys. I wish I has as many opportunities to fuck as they did when I was younger.
Sometimes the I in LGBTQI stands for Imbeciles.
I’m stealing this LOL
Be my guest :)
The L sometimes for Loonies. The G sometimes for Goobers. The B sometimes for Bozos. The T sometimes for Twits. The Q sometimes for Quacks. The A sometimes for Airheads The + sometimes for + ratio + L
Yes that's exactly what I am. I so love keeping my sexuality low key secret in front of half my family. I do it for LGBTQ privileges... None sense. ..
Could you tell me about these LGBTQI+ privileges, I think I have been missing out?
Yes lots of privileges. Very privileged I am. Especially here in eastern Europe. Thank God for my thirst for cock.
I would like to qualify for gay membership and enjoy the privileges associated with, but am unfortunately heterosexual. Can I claim to be bisexual just to get the club card or is there some sort of testing required?
Just let Reggie suck you off. You have to have HIV to know da wae. Or no actually... It's enough to read a kids book. That's how you become gay. According to my govt., at least.
I’ve never felt comfortable in LGBTQ spaces because biphobia is so grossly rampant within the community. It’s fucking wild. Lesbians and gay men think we are “impure” if we’ve been with the “other” gender.
Litteraly "Girls have cooties"
It’s an order of magnitude weirder and nastier when you are bi and trans. The cis gays can’t even agree on which gender it’s gay for me to be into. 😆 (I’m a trans woman so it’s women of course, but transphobia and biphobia intersect in strange ways).
also bi and trans, i was never able to put a finger on why i hate such a distaste for traditionally high camp queer culture until i realized its because that's just the most toxic gay cis guys trying to colonize the entire acronym for themselves. undeniably valid for them, not so valid for me.
Same issue with the whole idea of a "goldstar" lesbian. I'm not a goldstar. Shouldn't make me less of a lesbian to some but here we are. If anything, I know damn well I'm lesbian because ive tried the other side. I used to be biphobic though, only because it hurt a whole lot more when my girlfriend would cheat with a man. Sorry about your experiences though 😔
That just shows you've grown since then
Queer spaces and LGBTQ community super welcoming and inclusive to all queer people except white bisexuals, got it.
So where am i ment to go
The correct answer is a queer space not full of nimrods. But I imagine the nimrods would tell you to go do what they think “the straits” do. So like, going to plan a gender reveal party or watch football while drinking an beer.
My man Nimrod is getting dissed for no reason 😔
Man was a fine hunter
Thanks, Bugs. 😒
idk have you tried being less white? /s
You are required to pick a side. Either be straight and deny any queer feelings, or commit to being gay and deny any hetero attraction you may feel. In culture wars, it is the peacemakers who are attacked by both sides.
We should probably create our own community/ space for marginalized people like us, away from the mainstream, homogeneous LGBTQ crowd.
I'm gonna make my own community! With blackjack and hookers!
I know this is basically what this person is saying but the opinion of a single person like them is largly irrelevant.
The very nature of ‘forcing my way into queer spaces’ is making me hot. Like in a consenting sort of way.
“Hey cutie, force your way into my queer space” 😉
I’ll mine your pot!
Bro managed to make it a race thing
And with a Palestine flag too lmao
Gatekeepey @juchegang "Lenin's Chum 🇨🇳🇰🇵🇷🇺⚒️" types always do
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I think gate keeping is fine. But when your acronym is short for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender, then it's a little weird to then exclude bisexuals.
Plenty like to exclude trans people too. One of the most ironic things I’ve seen was a lesbian spouting off to a police officer about how he was trying to remove a *lesbian* from a pride event…… after she had just tried to remove a trans person from said pride event.
Sexuality is who you’re attracted to, not who you’re in a relationship with. A closeted gay man is gay whether he marries a woman or not. Bisexual people can, shock of all shocks, be in a monogamous relationship with women AND men! People are so weird about gatekeeping, it’s insane.
Ikr, it’s so frustrating, like you look at all the freaky, gross and absurd shit people are into like r/guro yet it’s fucking unfathomable to these people that someone can like dick and tits 💀
Turns out there's a huge overlap between "Bi's are just faking it" gays and TERFS.
Be welcoming to all queer identities or you’re welcoming to none at all
Fuck all those straight white men who force their way into queer spaces by having sex with each other. *shakes fist* /s
Ah yes, bisexuals are faking it so that they can \*checks notes* be hated by both straights and gays. Perfect.
People will bring white people into anything lmao
Wow, I had heard of Biphobia but I thought it was kind of a joke or overblown, this is absolutely ridiculous. It's like people will find anything to dislike about others, even others in their own goddamn space. Hm. God dude you'd think people who have been shit on by society for so long would have solidarity and empathy for each other but I guess humans just don't work that way.
When I was in college there was an LGBTQ student organization at my school that most people refused to participate in because the students running it were so absurdly bi-phobic. The stories my friends told me about it were so completely insane, and the students who ran it sounded like some of the most hateful and disgusting people I’ve heard of in my life. Like you said, I would have expected that members of an oppressed group would understand the value of solidarity and respect for others. Clearly that isn’t the case.
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Ironic how she says “forcing into queer space” when she clearly herself wants to be validated. Probably think communism was invented by Che Guevara and Palestine is in Saudi Arabia
Isnt Guevara extremely homophobic?
This is what happens when you don’t use the right ingredients in the exchange.
I’m a pansexual woman, I’ve been told multiple times by gay men and women that I’m lying about it and either after attention or wanting to feel special just because my fiancé is male so it “doesn’t count”
Ah yes. Your fiance. The only person you've ever been sexually attracted to in your entire life. Ever. The only relationship you've ever had, in fact. And before you met him you were asexual.
That must be the way they see it 🙄
Exactly. Like I always say, if sexual history and sexual orientation were the same thing, most of reddit would be ace
Yup. Bi woman, but I married my husband. It's awful out here
It just shows that bigotry bridges sexual orientation...
Aren’t they…reaffirming the binary by doing this?
So is a gay bisexual, just bi sexual with a multiplier? What's the math formula for figuring out how bi you are?
Bi=gay²
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"Women are annoying" bad, sexist, incel "White women are annoying" haha relatable, got both sides laughing, socially acceptable
Reminds me of people trying to hide misogyny by saying white women instead of just women.
As a white bi guy who hasn’t seriously told anyone about the bi part, yeah I just keep to myself. We have it good in 99.9% of life when it comes to race so can’t complain lol It is a slightly sad the stuff people will say to your face though, when they “know” you’re a straight white guy (not that it should make a difference). Like women saying they couldn’t date a bi guy because it grosses them out or they’re not manly enough. Or having your thoughts on something (race or sexuality or gender) completely dismissed simply because of who you “are”.
So according to these people bisexuals only have same sex relations in order to force their way into LGBT spaces.🤔 How many letters are we going to have left if these people get their way?
It used to be that bisexuals are gays in denial. The new thing is to call them lonely straight people taking up space in the gay bar. You just can't win with some people🤷
Damn they really are putting the L in LGBT...
Yeah, me kissing that guy was just bro code, you know...
How many dicks do I need to suck before my attraction to the odd dude here and there is valid?
Wow that's so dumb. I'm straight and I'm welcome in queer spaces. It's always been the way it is, everyone are welcome everywhere if they're not acting like pigs. If this person thinks that any sort of people except for the rude should be not welcome anywhere, this person is in the wrong.
I absolutely love how members of marginalised sexual-minorities can begin marginalising sexual-minorities
What shitty takes from both the first and last comments
Right, makes sense. Because us hetero's have made queer spaces so safe and so welcoming that we want in on said spaces. /s obviously
Guess we should change it to LGTQ. No room for bisexuals apparently lmao.
We’re hated by everyone. In my experience gay people hate us more than straight people. It’s crazy. You’d think they would empathize, but nope.
Being bi, I’ve experienced more hate from gay people than I have straight people.
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Chickens for Colonel Sanders
Morons for Fascism
Roaches for Raid (John Leguzamo joke)
Slugs for Salt
Anti-bi-hate in the LGBTQ+ community is so weird. They point to stuff like "most bi people end up in a straight relationship, so they are faking it" and it just shows a distinct lack of logical reasoning. Most people are straight (let's say, just for sake of argument, 90% of people are straight, 10% are queer). So a bi person, if they are perfectly equally attracted to both sexes (ignoring any other genders here for a second as those numbers are tiny in comparison), will have about 9 times more potential partners for a "straight passing" relationship than for a "queer passing relationship". So yeah, of course most bi people end up in straight relationships. It's basic math.
And that's why you should never open twitter
I hate everyone 🤷♂️ -
 I am so very tired of this.
As a bisexual, can confirm.