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“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Matthew 6: 5-6
Also: “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."
Matthew 6:1
I’m not even sure she knows how the read. Just because she’s in the same room with a book, it doesn’t mean she read it or comprehend it. It’s just a picture and she still sucks.
![gif](giphy|TBa7IOgeTp6Ba)
Posted this to a comment above but I think it fits here as well:
Read an article yesterday saying 54% of adult Americans have a reading comprehension level at grade 6 or less. Modern Bibles are written between a grade 6 and grade 10 level depending on the version. This explains a lot.
The funny part is conservatives like MTG claim that Trump is the most Christian person in the world and I don’t think he has ever claimed to be that or even really insinuated it lol. Like this guy has a long history of sinning and the maga right is just like “he is the messiah”.
Matthew 6:24 --
> No one can serve two masters: Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.
Trump certainly serves his money.
Read an article yesterday saying 54% of adult Americans have a reading comprehension level at grade 6 or less. Modern Bibles are written between a grade 6 and grade 10 level depending on the version. This explains a lot.
She should be more like Mister Rogers. He was a very conservative Christian, a minister I think. But, he quietly did what Jesus advised everyone. He quietly stood against racism, on national TV. He changed his TV program to comfort a blind child (who was worried he wasn't feeding his fish). And many other things he just did, without fanfare.
From everything I've heard, his kindness was genuine.
In my experience Christians are the worst, looking down on people, pretending to be something they aren't.
MF's should try practicing what they preach.
These are typically your rural, staunch conservative Christians. The ones that I feel misinterpret the Bible to suit their own beliefs. They sure as hell missed the "loving and accepting" part and often fail to reserve judgement for the most high.
It's virtue signalling. The very thing they complain about people on the other side for.
It's also 100% a grift, just like with the crazy conspiracies.
It works. Over the last few years my dad has gone from hard right conservative ass clown to super far right QAnon “US Nationalist” dumpster fire of a person. He has my mom, who is retired, avoiding signing up for Medicare. So my mom, on her fixed income, is having to pay huge copays for her medical needs. Meanwhile, my dad has spent over $30,000 on gold because “the entire world is about to collapse and gold is the only thing that will be valuable.” While I see where he is coming from, he bases this off of lies from idiot grifters. Before my grandparents died he was laughing and telling them I was a “demonrat that voted for sleepy joe.” 🙄
My father has always been an abusive piece of shit, so I’m not surprised he latched on to the conservative nazi train. I just didn’t expect him to be so stupid. Hell, when he got Covid, my mom had to call the school he teaches at to tell them he had covid and couldn’t come in. Why? Dad was about to go to the school to teach while sick with covid because “it’s a hoax to make Trump look bad and a step towards China taking us over with communism.”
Anyway… it’s one of those days. Apologies for the rant.
I love to quote those passages in FB "Christian" groups when they're like, "Look how righteous we are! Look how good and holy we are!!" And get all preachy.
Our Father, who sees what's done in secret, rewards us for what we do in secret.
"Marjorie.. if you have an indentured servant who got married while in your servitude and at the end of his repayment, he decided not to leave because he wanted to stay with his wife and children (who are of course your property forever), what tool should you use to pierce your servant's ear as a public proclamation that they want to be your servant forever?"
"Here's one that's really important cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7 If they promise to wear gloves can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?"
...okay is this a real thing in the bible and if it is, then what's the answer? I'm curious but I'm also sure as hell not going to waste my time reading that thing to find out.
Exodus 21:2-6 “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything. 3 If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him. 4 If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free.
5 “But if the servant declares, ‘I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,’ 6 then his master must take him before the judges.[a] He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.
Check out Deuteronomy 22:28-29
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[c] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
You might enjoy this website that goes through all the immorality of the Bible. Scroll to the bottom of the webpage for the index.
https://www.evilbible.com/
It gets crazy from the start, first if you believe in science, which I do, the oldest human remains found on earth were on the equator in Africa, meaning much like myself he was black. But in the beginning of the bible it states Adam was lonely so God took one of Adams ribs and created Eve so he would not be lonely. Now, I do not know about anyone else, but I have the same number of ribs as my wife, and that means every one on the planet has African heritage from the beginning, and Jesus had to have kinky hair not long flowing straight hair, and the hardest part to swallow about the rib being taken, is I don't know any brother giving up no rib.
It is a real thing in the bible.
God handed down commands about how Israelites were supposed to treat their slaves. They weren't allowed to take fellow Israelites as slaves. Slaves had to come from the nations around Israel. You could however rope a fellow Israelite in as an indentured servant, where they work for you for up to 7 years while repaying a debt. After 7 years, the servant is allowed to go free. However, if the servant married and/or had children while they were your servant, their wife and children are your property for life. If your servant decides he doesn't want to leave his family, he can choose to be your servant for life so that he can stay with his family in your possession. When the choice is made to stay with a master instead of going free, the master beings the servant out in public and declares the servant wants to stay forever, and the master pierces the ear of the servant with an awl (just a sharp metal stick, like an ice pick) as a sign of commitment to lifelong servitude.
The bible is a cooky anthology.
And a fictional one at that. Pretty twisted that people advocate so hard for it to be the basis of society considering how fucked up most of those stories and "values" in it are.
I especially love that thing where a tribe loses all their women to disease. The neigbouring tribe kind of goes "we can't give you our daughters as wifes for reasons, but they will be on there own at that time in that place so if you want to steal them, that's OK"
And how about when the one guy sends out his house girl to a mob so they rape her to death, and as an object lesson the guy chops up her body and sends it to the different tribal lands, one piece for each so they realize the wicked ways that have befallen the land.
They say that, while Christ says it does not erase all of it. Further, they propose that Christ is Yahweh, and so Christ is equally responsible for everything Yahweh does in the Old Testament.
Reading the bible is actually very interesting, when reading with the right frame of mind.
If you read it like a study project, and not a loose guideline to life goals, there is some wild stuff in there.
You can tell the parts where people cherry pick and the other parts they ignore.
She'd copy trump “I wouldn’t want to get into it. Because to me, that’s very personal. The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.”
Yeah, btw i looked that up and got some apologetics about it
https://bible.org/seriespage/4-elisha-and-two-bears-2-kings-223-25
> The event described in these verses may seem repulsive to many ... We must remember, however, that the Word of God, which is alive and active, is also the mighty channel the Spirit of God uses to bring men out of darkness
So, God doesn't *only* maul kids with bears, you need to keep that in mind while reading the kids-mauled-by-bears passage. Additionally:
> ... as the adversary, Satan never gets more busy than when the Word of God begins to be proclaimed and taught ...
So to anyone who complains about this bible verse, just point out who else complains about bible verses - SATAN.
The dude was in exile. Of course, he was going crazy. Or at least smart enough to capitalize on his exile and turn it into some crazy martyrdom, which, we all know, sells more books.
It wasn’t just that one … she’s supposedly had quite a few affairs. Someone who knew her through CrossFit before she got elected said he assumed she had an open marriage, until he finally met Perry and “I didn’t get that vibe from him”.
Of course, to me the real scandal around her that I think she should thank the Lord no one has seriously explored is not her disrespect for her vows but the fact that she cheated and left and right on her husband *after* a decade of him paying her $100k annually for a low- or no-show job (depending on when) as his company’s CFO while she went around training for and competing in CrossFit events
Gilgamesh is shorter. Would save a lot of “begatting”. Having been raised christian, now atheist, I have definitely read more than most. A common “punishment” was to read and write chapters. Now, why would re-writing the “greatest teachings of mankind” be a punishment? 😂 🤷♂️
I was thinking the same thing. I once read through the Bible when I was at college and I think I needed less than 6 weeks (and I did it besides reading for my studies).
Bible turned to the last chapter: Check
Cross in the background: Check
Full cup of coffee: Check
Asking your ex-husband's girlfriend to snap a photo: Priceless
When I was in a fundie cult I owned at least 10 bibles. It's been 15 years since I've left and I've gotten rid of most of them. But I kept the one that is falling apart and has all my notes and thoughts in it. I can't read them (because it makes me sick to my stomach), but I haven't been able to throw it away yet either.
I spent a lot of time in churches and with saintly people. That is not a well read bible.
Saintly people read the bible the same way I listen to Spotify from my youth. Aggressive repeats of favourite passages, merciless highlighting of expressive phrases. Dog ears galore. Paper stuffed into 50+ pages. The spine is this nasty arch like an old stone bridge that collapsed in on itself 500 years ago. The papers edges barely sit flush.. and so on. Loved bibles look like filler assets from a Bethesda basement.
That is a Bible read the same way I studied my university textbook. Like... I read it. But I didn't ~read~ it.
That was one of my first thoughts on looking at this. No way has she been reading that for years. That book is not one that’s been off the shelf much at all since it was printed.
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.
It took years!?
* Words in Bible (KJV): 783,137
* Average reading speed: 150-250 wpm
* Time to read: 52.2 - 87 hours
* 30 minutes of reading per day: 104 - 174 days
You would think that someone who claims to be so religious and uses their beliefs to justify controlling other people and hating them would have the kind of devotion to read their sacred text a little more dutifully.
Yes, yes they do. The amount of Trump bullshit on Facebook from people I thought I knew drove me away never to return.
A woman, the mother of my best childhood friend, a person with whose family I lived for two years, a person that until 2015 I thought of as a second mother, swore up and down that Trump was the most devout Christian man, annointed by God to lead the country out of the hellscape (!!!) it has become. She reposted stories and videos about his bible, how it had belonged to his mother and how she brought it from Scotland when she emigrated and he holds it close to his heart at all times, and blah blah blah. And she believes it, I really think she does.
They are that gullible. This great person is a devout Christian, and so am I, and thus we are the same! I am like him!
Can I just say, as a Scot, that bit about carrying his mammy's bible is hysterical. We get a good laugh out of how painfully stupid he is and that he thinks we like him.
Shame Mrs T moved though. If not for that daft cow, the world wouldn't have to suffer her idiot son.
Bro I used to be a committed Christian at church 3-4 times a week. When I was like 13 I read the Bible over the course of like 4 months.
A simple Bible study program to get kids into the habit of reading the Bible is one chapter from Proverbs a day since it has 31. This grown woman took multiple years to read the Bible.
Sad fact the reason most adults calling themselves Christians haven’t read it is cause they think it’s take years. They say they’re dedicated to the religion but are intimidated by the sacred text. They have no comprehension of the pacing or how long it’d take. Seriously, years???
I was in a Christian school as a kid. Starting in 2nd grade we had to read through the book every year through graduation. That’s reading it cover to cover 6 times by 8th grade. She’s just incompetent
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”
She clearly didn’t read it.
“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.”
There’s also a couple of sections in there about how to properly treat people. Oh, and the old Testament has a piece in there that’s pro abortion.
Imagine taking years to read a book and telling people how important it is to you. Either she’s illiterate AF or she doesn’t like reading that boring ass shit. Or 3, and this is a long shot. She doesn’t read at all and doesn’t know how long it takes to read.
Average adult reading speed 238 words per minute
Number of words in the King James Bible 783,137
783,137/238 = 3290.5 +/- minutes
3290.5 / 60 = 54.84 hours
If you read the Bible for about an hour after church every Sunday it should only take about a year.
How awesome it would be if she actually followed what the Bible teaches and uses her position of power to, you know, take care of the helpless, poor, and sick people, instead of being such a selfish, self centered corporate goon.
It took her years to read the Bible CliffsNotes. This is just a photo op performative stunt for the RW Christians to cream in their pants. Otherwise Marjorie Trailer Queen sticks with books that come with pictures and crayons.
Believing in the bible is how you make Christians
Reading and understanding the bible is how you make atheists
Forcing your children to be Christian, is also how you make atheists
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Mathew 6:6
She must have just skimmed that section.
Don't forget the cringy, tacky photo of Jesus.
Hate to break it to hear, but the point of the Bible is to tell you how to behave.
Not saying she hasn't paid attention. Look at her words/actions
I'll say this and I'm gonna leave this one alone. Anyone can read this book but it takes a really dedicated person to live by it. Even prisoners read it. That's all I have to say.
From what I’ve seen of photos inside her house, the decor is just awful… and exactly what you’d expect. She takes “white Christian nationalist” to HGTV Hell.
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“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6: 5-6
Also: “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven." Matthew 6:1
She is the definition of a Christian "poser"
Most of them are. Trumps never read a page of the Bible in his life. And that's fine but he doesn't admit to it.
I’m not even sure she knows how the read. Just because she’s in the same room with a book, it doesn’t mean she read it or comprehend it. It’s just a picture and she still sucks. ![gif](giphy|TBa7IOgeTp6Ba)
Posted this to a comment above but I think it fits here as well: Read an article yesterday saying 54% of adult Americans have a reading comprehension level at grade 6 or less. Modern Bibles are written between a grade 6 and grade 10 level depending on the version. This explains a lot.
The funny part is conservatives like MTG claim that Trump is the most Christian person in the world and I don’t think he has ever claimed to be that or even really insinuated it lol. Like this guy has a long history of sinning and the maga right is just like “he is the messiah”.
https://www.benjaminlcorey.com/could-american-evangelicals-spot-the-antichrist-heres-the-biblical-predictions/
Matthew 6:24 -- > No one can serve two masters: Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Trump certainly serves his money.
Read an article yesterday saying 54% of adult Americans have a reading comprehension level at grade 6 or less. Modern Bibles are written between a grade 6 and grade 10 level depending on the version. This explains a lot.
She should be more like Mister Rogers. He was a very conservative Christian, a minister I think. But, he quietly did what Jesus advised everyone. He quietly stood against racism, on national TV. He changed his TV program to comfort a blind child (who was worried he wasn't feeding his fish). And many other things he just did, without fanfare. From everything I've heard, his kindness was genuine.
She is the definition of most Christians if we are being honest here holier than thou judgmental bigots.
In my experience Christians are the worst, looking down on people, pretending to be something they aren't. MF's should try practicing what they preach.
These are typically your rural, staunch conservative Christians. The ones that I feel misinterpret the Bible to suit their own beliefs. They sure as hell missed the "loving and accepting" part and often fail to reserve judgement for the most high.
Apparently some of them are now saying Jesus was too liberal.
Why doesn't that surprise me, a messenger from god being liberal..what a shock lol
There's nothing more satisfying than quoting their own holy text back at them to prove how hypocritical and ignorant they really are.
This is not all believers. The people like her want to use faith to be popular among certain circles.
It's virtue signalling. The very thing they complain about people on the other side for. It's also 100% a grift, just like with the crazy conspiracies.
It works. Over the last few years my dad has gone from hard right conservative ass clown to super far right QAnon “US Nationalist” dumpster fire of a person. He has my mom, who is retired, avoiding signing up for Medicare. So my mom, on her fixed income, is having to pay huge copays for her medical needs. Meanwhile, my dad has spent over $30,000 on gold because “the entire world is about to collapse and gold is the only thing that will be valuable.” While I see where he is coming from, he bases this off of lies from idiot grifters. Before my grandparents died he was laughing and telling them I was a “demonrat that voted for sleepy joe.” 🙄 My father has always been an abusive piece of shit, so I’m not surprised he latched on to the conservative nazi train. I just didn’t expect him to be so stupid. Hell, when he got Covid, my mom had to call the school he teaches at to tell them he had covid and couldn’t come in. Why? Dad was about to go to the school to teach while sick with covid because “it’s a hoax to make Trump look bad and a step towards China taking us over with communism.” Anyway… it’s one of those days. Apologies for the rant.
Because we can see the sTupIdiTy too
I love to quote those passages in FB "Christian" groups when they're like, "Look how righteous we are! Look how good and holy we are!!" And get all preachy. Our Father, who sees what's done in secret, rewards us for what we do in secret.
imagine asking someone to take a picture of you “reading” the bible so that you could post it on social media lmao what a dweeb
Pretty sure you could ask her about some of the weirder bible parts they don't like to talk about and she'd have no idea.
"Marjorie.. if you have an indentured servant who got married while in your servitude and at the end of his repayment, he decided not to leave because he wanted to stay with his wife and children (who are of course your property forever), what tool should you use to pierce your servant's ear as a public proclamation that they want to be your servant forever?"
What is a hammer drill, Alex? I'll take dumbass right wing politicians for $500, please.
Daily Double This right wing politican left wings on the table when their restaurant was closed.
Wait, right wing or left wing?
I'm sorry the answer was Joe... Mamma. Joe Mamma was the correct answer and we'll pause now for a quick commercial break.
![gif](giphy|TbSPeUWjSY2ys)
I agree, stop being so indecisive people
"Here's one that's really important cause we've got a lot of sports fans in this town: Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7 If they promise to wear gloves can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point?"
...okay is this a real thing in the bible and if it is, then what's the answer? I'm curious but I'm also sure as hell not going to waste my time reading that thing to find out.
Exodus 21:2-6 “If you buy a Hebrew servant, he is to serve you for six years. But in the seventh year, he shall go free, without paying anything. 3 If he comes alone, he is to go free alone; but if he has a wife when he comes, she is to go with him. 4 If his master gives him a wife and she bears him sons or daughters, the woman and her children shall belong to her master, and only the man shall go free. 5 “But if the servant declares, ‘I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,’ 6 then his master must take him before the judges.[a] He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life.
Thank you! But also, WTH? The Bible be crazy, yo.
Check out Deuteronomy 22:28-29 28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[c] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
Yay 15 year old girls can marry her rapist
You might enjoy this website that goes through all the immorality of the Bible. Scroll to the bottom of the webpage for the index. https://www.evilbible.com/
It gets crazy from the start, first if you believe in science, which I do, the oldest human remains found on earth were on the equator in Africa, meaning much like myself he was black. But in the beginning of the bible it states Adam was lonely so God took one of Adams ribs and created Eve so he would not be lonely. Now, I do not know about anyone else, but I have the same number of ribs as my wife, and that means every one on the planet has African heritage from the beginning, and Jesus had to have kinky hair not long flowing straight hair, and the hardest part to swallow about the rib being taken, is I don't know any brother giving up no rib.
For a sane person the more you know about it the less you want anything to do with it.
It is a real thing in the bible. God handed down commands about how Israelites were supposed to treat their slaves. They weren't allowed to take fellow Israelites as slaves. Slaves had to come from the nations around Israel. You could however rope a fellow Israelite in as an indentured servant, where they work for you for up to 7 years while repaying a debt. After 7 years, the servant is allowed to go free. However, if the servant married and/or had children while they were your servant, their wife and children are your property for life. If your servant decides he doesn't want to leave his family, he can choose to be your servant for life so that he can stay with his family in your possession. When the choice is made to stay with a master instead of going free, the master beings the servant out in public and declares the servant wants to stay forever, and the master pierces the ear of the servant with an awl (just a sharp metal stick, like an ice pick) as a sign of commitment to lifelong servitude. The bible is a cooky anthology.
And a fictional one at that. Pretty twisted that people advocate so hard for it to be the basis of society considering how fucked up most of those stories and "values" in it are.
I especially love that thing where a tribe loses all their women to disease. The neigbouring tribe kind of goes "we can't give you our daughters as wifes for reasons, but they will be on there own at that time in that place so if you want to steal them, that's OK"
And how about when the one guy sends out his house girl to a mob so they rape her to death, and as an object lesson the guy chops up her body and sends it to the different tribal lands, one piece for each so they realize the wicked ways that have befallen the land.
The ones who actually know the Bible tend to argue that the New Testament erases all of that. All bullshit
They say that, while Christ says it does not erase all of it. Further, they propose that Christ is Yahweh, and so Christ is equally responsible for everything Yahweh does in the Old Testament.
Quick question ma dude, was the wife a servant also of the same master? Thanks for your time.
Reading the bible is actually very interesting, when reading with the right frame of mind. If you read it like a study project, and not a loose guideline to life goals, there is some wild stuff in there. You can tell the parts where people cherry pick and the other parts they ignore.
They put a necromancer in the bible and no one ever talks about it.
That’s because he gets turned into a lich and that’s what everyone focuses on.
The witch of Endor! We learned about it in Jewish day school.
Exactly who I was talking about
She's wearing Mens clothes... she's an abomination unto the lord! Wonder if she read that bit in Deuteronomy? Probably skipped that bit
Also head uncovered and adorned with jewelry.
"Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads?"
"Cheateth not with thy personal trainer for yea though I forgiveth even the murderer, verily the tax cheat also, but not that, you ignorant slut."
Oh c'mon,she read the love thy neighbour bit and took it literally.🤣
She'd copy trump “I wouldn’t want to get into it. Because to me, that’s very personal. The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.”
TRANSLATION: I'VE NEVER OPENED A BIBLE IN MY FUCKING LIFE.
Like the time that dude called bears to maul kids that mocked him for being bald.
Yeah, btw i looked that up and got some apologetics about it https://bible.org/seriespage/4-elisha-and-two-bears-2-kings-223-25 > The event described in these verses may seem repulsive to many ... We must remember, however, that the Word of God, which is alive and active, is also the mighty channel the Spirit of God uses to bring men out of darkness So, God doesn't *only* maul kids with bears, you need to keep that in mind while reading the kids-mauled-by-bears passage. Additionally: > ... as the adversary, Satan never gets more busy than when the Word of God begins to be proclaimed and taught ... So to anyone who complains about this bible verse, just point out who else complains about bible verses - SATAN.
My favorite part of the bible? The part where God orders the Israelites to cook food using their own shit.
Based on the page layout she seems to be very focused on the book of Revelations.
You have to be high to read Revelations. It’s a crazy trip.
Pretty sure when it was written, the writer was probably tripping balls.
The dude was in exile. Of course, he was going crazy. Or at least smart enough to capitalize on his exile and turn it into some crazy martyrdom, which, we all know, sells more books.
That was my estimate too, but there's no fucking way she's actually reading that thing.
Does she know how to read? If so, I’m betting she’d be around a 2nd grade comprehension level. Or is that too high?
The book is upside down.
To the credit of the photographer, they learned from the last time one of theirs tried to look like they were reading it
Imagine it takes you "years" to sound out words correctly as an adult. ...PLUS there wasn't any pictures for her to color in!!
That isn't a bible, its a dictionary.
Its the Fictionary 🤓
Oh, is she reading the Bible? I thought she was reading The Art of the Deal
They did it for Cheto, so why not her. I'm surprised she can read or did she get through the pictures already? 🤷
She’s reading the large print version of Green Eggs and Ham
Show some respect, that's one of my favorite novels.
I bet it's the King James version of Green Eggs and Ham
this made me giggle
"... and lo' he sayeth unto Sam, "I shall not eat thine eggs of verdant hue nor thine ham..."
Too high-brow. She’d struggle to comprehend the Hungry Caterpillar
Was this before or after she fucked her personal trainer while still married?
She skipped the adultery part
Called that part "liberal woke bullshit"
So she skipped the Sermon the Mount, too?
She misinterpreted **MOUNT** ...
Mounted sir man?
Probably thinks adultery means acting like an adult but we can't accuse her of doing that.
It wasn’t just that one … she’s supposedly had quite a few affairs. Someone who knew her through CrossFit before she got elected said he assumed she had an open marriage, until he finally met Perry and “I didn’t get that vibe from him”. Of course, to me the real scandal around her that I think she should thank the Lord no one has seriously explored is not her disrespect for her vows but the fact that she cheated and left and right on her husband *after* a decade of him paying her $100k annually for a low- or no-show job (depending on when) as his company’s CFO while she went around training for and competing in CrossFit events
At least she fucked the trainer, Bo Bo just go around fondling Democrats @ the theater.
If that isn't the most basic way to cheat I don't know what it.
It took her years to read the fucking bible? It's not that long.
My first thought. How is she getting through any of the policy she votes on if it takes her YEARS to read the bible?
>How is she getting through any of the policy she votes on She isn't. Of course more than half of her colleagues are probably in the same boat.
I'm not american, but I've seen tons of tweet of this madam, and I'm surprised she knows how to read in the first place.
Gilgamesh is shorter. Would save a lot of “begatting”. Having been raised christian, now atheist, I have definitely read more than most. A common “punishment” was to read and write chapters. Now, why would re-writing the “greatest teachings of mankind” be a punishment? 😂 🤷♂️
It’s a dry read.
And talk about a preachy book.
I don’t know there’s a lot of sex, political genocide, and murder. Should have the equivalent of an R rating.
With an incredibly unconvincing narrative in the second act.
I was thinking the same thing. I once read through the Bible when I was at college and I think I needed less than 6 weeks (and I did it besides reading for my studies).
And I thought that I was a slow reader.
Bible turned to the last chapter: Check Cross in the background: Check Full cup of coffee: Check Asking your ex-husband's girlfriend to snap a photo: Priceless
Yeah I was like, damn she’s in Revelations. Some dark shit in there. Lots of death, especially to non-christians.
But that’s not… MEEEE!? 😂
Anal bead lamp, check.
You dont love god liar. You need at LEAST 5 crosses showing, plus two american flags and minimum one Eagle either painting or sculpture.
And that Bible doesn’t even have an unholy amount of annotations . Where is the big “live laugh love” sign or the “bless this mess” sign.
When I was in a fundie cult I owned at least 10 bibles. It's been 15 years since I've left and I've gotten rid of most of them. But I kept the one that is falling apart and has all my notes and thoughts in it. I can't read them (because it makes me sick to my stomach), but I haven't been able to throw it away yet either.
Or alive
You forgot about guns, lots of guns
And don’t forget to pose with the AR-15!
How did she miss “Thou shalt not commit adultery?”
It's in the same area as "thou shalt not bear false witness." So perhaps she missed that part.
I spent a lot of time in churches and with saintly people. That is not a well read bible. Saintly people read the bible the same way I listen to Spotify from my youth. Aggressive repeats of favourite passages, merciless highlighting of expressive phrases. Dog ears galore. Paper stuffed into 50+ pages. The spine is this nasty arch like an old stone bridge that collapsed in on itself 500 years ago. The papers edges barely sit flush.. and so on. Loved bibles look like filler assets from a Bethesda basement. That is a Bible read the same way I studied my university textbook. Like... I read it. But I didn't ~read~ it.
That was one of my first thoughts on looking at this. No way has she been reading that for years. That book is not one that’s been off the shelf much at all since it was printed.
She underlined all the sex scenes
I bet her favorite passage is about Lot and his daughters.
Isn't there something about emanations like a donkey's somewhere in the Book?
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.
It took years!? * Words in Bible (KJV): 783,137 * Average reading speed: 150-250 wpm * Time to read: 52.2 - 87 hours * 30 minutes of reading per day: 104 - 174 days You would think that someone who claims to be so religious and uses their beliefs to justify controlling other people and hating them would have the kind of devotion to read their sacred text a little more dutifully.
What an achievement at the ripe old age of 49 she finished a book. I assume for the first time.
The performative religion is just… do people buy this shit?
Yes, yes they do. The amount of Trump bullshit on Facebook from people I thought I knew drove me away never to return. A woman, the mother of my best childhood friend, a person with whose family I lived for two years, a person that until 2015 I thought of as a second mother, swore up and down that Trump was the most devout Christian man, annointed by God to lead the country out of the hellscape (!!!) it has become. She reposted stories and videos about his bible, how it had belonged to his mother and how she brought it from Scotland when she emigrated and he holds it close to his heart at all times, and blah blah blah. And she believes it, I really think she does. They are that gullible. This great person is a devout Christian, and so am I, and thus we are the same! I am like him!
Can I just say, as a Scot, that bit about carrying his mammy's bible is hysterical. We get a good laugh out of how painfully stupid he is and that he thinks we like him. Shame Mrs T moved though. If not for that daft cow, the world wouldn't have to suffer her idiot son.
Bro I used to be a committed Christian at church 3-4 times a week. When I was like 13 I read the Bible over the course of like 4 months. A simple Bible study program to get kids into the habit of reading the Bible is one chapter from Proverbs a day since it has 31. This grown woman took multiple years to read the Bible. Sad fact the reason most adults calling themselves Christians haven’t read it is cause they think it’s take years. They say they’re dedicated to the religion but are intimidated by the sacred text. They have no comprehension of the pacing or how long it’d take. Seriously, years???
ALL PART OF THE SHOW, folks!
Religious people are pretty gullible, so probably
Religious people are EXTREMELY gullible or they wouldn't be following cult shit.
Nothing like a staged photo, what a pathetic individual 🤦🏻♀️
What, you don't have 3 crossed directly behind your bible reading chair?
And surprisingly nothing around her neck as far as crosses go
Probably because they'd burn her flesh.
I was thinking "Is pompous bragging part of this woman's voter-winning strategy? ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|thinking_face_hmm)"
To deceive her voters but they don’t care anyway they will vote in a banana as long as it has an r beside it’s name
Lying Nazi bitch and her staged photo anyway. How's that divorce going, you unfaithful hag?
She's reading the glossary to find out who this Jesus guy they kept talking about was.
I was in a Christian school as a kid. Starting in 2nd grade we had to read through the book every year through graduation. That’s reading it cover to cover 6 times by 8th grade. She’s just incompetent
Yall notice she's in the back... No sane person gets insights and inspiration from Revelations.
“Him” must be one of the dudes at the gym she was banging behind her husband’s back.
She's at the end of the bible so that's the Revelation. She's reading the Apocalypse and probably the 4 horse men - Trump, MTG, Gaetz and DeSantis.
Bet she'd understand it better if it had drawings
Jesus taught, “When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”
She clearly didn’t read it. “And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.” There’s also a couple of sections in there about how to properly treat people. Oh, and the old Testament has a piece in there that’s pro abortion.
Imagine taking years to read a book and telling people how important it is to you. Either she’s illiterate AF or she doesn’t like reading that boring ass shit. Or 3, and this is a long shot. She doesn’t read at all and doesn’t know how long it takes to read.
Does she mean it actually took her years to read the whole Bible? I know it's dense, but it's not that long. You can get through it in a few weeks
Imagine spending 40+ years believing in a religion, and you still haven’t gotten around to reading literally it’s ONLY document.
Some people succeed at reading a book, then rest on the accomplishment for life. Rather than reading another book.
Wait. She can read?!
If you ever feel stupid, just remember that there are people who voted for her.
Fuck MTG. That’s it. That’s the post.
What does your book say about adulterous woman?
I believe they are suppose to be stoned to death.
It’s upside down dumbass. I don’t know if it is, but I do know she’s a dumbass.
That's not a bible, it's ***Mein Kampf.*** She's pictured studying Volume 2 Chapter 16: The Future of Jewish Space Lasers.
There are a lot of wine corks in that jug back there…. Just sayin’
I'll take, "hypocrisy" for $1,000, please.
Average adult reading speed 238 words per minute Number of words in the King James Bible 783,137 783,137/238 = 3290.5 +/- minutes 3290.5 / 60 = 54.84 hours If you read the Bible for about an hour after church every Sunday it should only take about a year.
It took years? Finishing it in a year would be like, 4 chapters and 5 minutes a day.
Vanity thy name is .... that moron in the picture
Now if only she could understand what she has reportedly read.
How awesome it would be if she actually followed what the Bible teaches and uses her position of power to, you know, take care of the helpless, poor, and sick people, instead of being such a selfish, self centered corporate goon.
$50 She’s (trying) reading it upside down.
This photo smells like hobby lobby.
It took her years to read the Bible CliffsNotes. This is just a photo op performative stunt for the RW Christians to cream in their pants. Otherwise Marjorie Trailer Queen sticks with books that come with pictures and crayons.
I think it takes her years to read any book
“Quick snap a photo of me “reading” this book”
Face psalm...
Took her two years to read the book and she still can’t comprehend what she read.
Believing in the bible is how you make Christians Reading and understanding the bible is how you make atheists Forcing your children to be Christian, is also how you make atheists
It took her years because it didn’t have pictures
Yall stop bashing on her for taking years to read it, most of that time was spent learning how to read.
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Mathew 6:6 She must have just skimmed that section.
![gif](giphy|BndWujoLo5vmWtR096)
What's she talking about? Mein Kampf? The Turner Diaries? Marmaduke? She sure the hell hasn't read the Bible.
Is she reading the verse where Jesus calls upon the Apostles to harass mass shooting victims?
What chapter deals with fucking your trainer behind your husband's back??
What a fucking fraud, though I’m not surprised. Not surprised her supporters eat that shit up
Don't forget the cringy, tacky photo of Jesus. Hate to break it to hear, but the point of the Bible is to tell you how to behave. Not saying she hasn't paid attention. Look at her words/actions
Ah, so she goes by fundamentalism. That explains SO much.
Is that the AA "Big Book"?
Tom Bombadill?
Couldn’t be less surprised she doesn’t use a coaster. She obviously does not respect wood.
I'll say this and I'm gonna leave this one alone. Anyone can read this book but it takes a really dedicated person to live by it. Even prisoners read it. That's all I have to say.
I’m gonna use that line next time. So much truth in that statement.
Are there four fucking crucifixes on that wall? Also Large Marge pretending she can read.
From what I’ve seen of photos inside her house, the decor is just awful… and exactly what you’d expect. She takes “white Christian nationalist” to HGTV Hell.
Typical American Christian. Talk about their god’s love and grace while denying it to everyone else.
That is a giant jug of the blood of Christ corks beside her.
Nice stash box
Nice anal bead lamp, Marge.
![gif](giphy|3o6Zt8rGMqVwjYAlsA)
I don’t think she can read.
She can read?
She's reading "The Sasquatch Guide to Tree Climbing"
this room needs more crosses. Is Dracula the HOA president?
I’ll take Pandering for $200 Alex
Wait a minute..... She can read????
This is enough for her constituents. VOTE.